0:02

K M O R E Hello?

0:13

Hello? Hello. And welcome to another episode

0:16

of seeds and sunshine. I

0:18

am your host sprit EMA. While we talk

0:20

about. All things, adulting,

0:23

parenthood, and any other 60

0:25

details of life that we'd like to discuss.

0:28

If you're not following me on social media.

0:30

With the podcast and stuff, then

0:33

you would not know that I am no longer

0:35

doing weekly. Every Wednesdays

0:38

it's, um, every other Wednesday. So

0:40

now I did not miss last Wednesday.

0:43

I've decided to do that because life

0:45

be lifeing and let's be for real.

0:48

Um, I'm just not

0:50

in a position to do that right now. But

0:53

if I ever feel like, you know, I want

0:55

to just. Upload

0:57

a video. Uh, or

0:59

upload a more content

1:01

for. You all are just

1:04

because I want to, um, I absolutely will

1:06

do that. But for now,

1:08

it is a dedicated every other

1:10

week. Um, every other

1:12

Wednesday schedule. So,

1:15

um, yeah. And

1:18

this episode is also just an audio

1:20

because. Like

1:23

I said, life has been lifeing and right

1:25

now, I'm just trying

1:27

to make, um, I'm

1:29

trying to continue, of course,

1:32

but I am trying to do it in a way where

1:34

I am not stressed out and

1:36

this is a nice outlet for me, you

1:38

know? Um, but I

1:40

will still be doing videos and things like that,

1:43

but it won't probably

1:45

be as prevalent just because

1:47

I am. Quite the busy

1:49

gal, especially nowadays, honey.

1:52

Um, I don't really want to get into

1:54

everything because, um,

1:58

There's just so many great things

2:00

coming to me. And, um, I'd

2:02

rather speak on it when I have

2:04

it. But now you

2:06

cross out here working. Um, I'm

2:09

not sitting on my ass shout and I'm not

2:11

just taking care of my baby. Anyways,

2:15

Today's episode is going to probably be as

2:17

raw and uncut a possible.

2:20

Because the girl really don't feel like editing today. Because

2:24

today is actually Wednesday. Usually

2:26

I don't do this, but here we are. I

2:28

actually did have a video or you recorded.

2:31

Um, But not edited.

2:34

And. I don't

2:36

know. I'm just not feeling like talking

2:39

about that. Right now. so

2:41

I decided that since

2:44

it is. my birthday

2:46

coming up soon. June 16th,

2:48

me and my baby. Daddy's birthday. Tupac. Thank

2:50

you. Pepe. and

2:54

it's also a father's day. So

2:57

happy. Early birthday. And father's

2:59

day to us. Cause all these bitches are my sons.

3:02

Uh, Yeah.

3:06

So I really honestly

3:08

have not cared too much about

3:11

my birthday this year. Um,

3:14

I'm just focused on so many other things, but

3:17

elevate my life and

3:19

get me, you know, to the big picture.

3:22

So. I can care less.

3:24

I'm glad that I'm here. I'm happy that

3:26

I'm here. Of course, for my son. Um,

3:30

And just to do what I want to do

3:32

and do what I love. So I'm happy to be here.

3:34

But, um, as far as like celebrating

3:36

and doing something big, like, or planning

3:38

to do something big, like, I. Uh,

3:40

usually do not really effort

3:43

don't really care. Um, Um,

3:46

I am happy that my cousin is coming to

3:48

see me though. And then my. My

3:50

mom and my sister will be following right after.

3:52

So that's, um, that's

3:54

a birthday present and itself. I love being

3:57

around my family. Um,

3:59

so. That'll be nice. Otherwise.

4:04

Don't be hounding me about me.

4:06

Not doing nothing for my birthday. Okay.

4:10

It's never that deep. Anyways.

4:15

But anyways, um, my birthday

4:17

got me thinking. About.

4:21

What have I learned

4:23

in this time, on this earth?

4:27

Um, I had seen

4:29

videos before about, you know,

4:31

Things that I've learned, um,

4:34

or 25 things I've learned by 25.

4:37

And I remember last year I

4:39

had started. Doing

4:43

that. Um,

4:47

However, I never finished the last.

4:50

I never finished the list and, um,

4:53

I never did anything with it. So

4:57

I'm going to see if I can actually try to find the notes.

5:01

Um, But

5:03

so today I want to just give. 26.

5:08

26. Oh, that sound grown.

5:10

That's sound cute. That's how sexy is crazy.

5:12

I'm 26. I am somebody's mother.

5:16

Okay. And. The

5:21

world's not ready. The road is really narrow. But.

5:25

Who I am at girl. I feel great.

5:28

I really do. I love that for me.

5:32

I did not find the list. I was hoping

5:35

and find the list. You know,

5:37

and gave me a little bit. You know, And I don't

5:39

know, sometime the buffer. But,

5:42

um, no, I guess we're going to go straight off the down.

5:45

I guess there's nothing more brown. In

5:47

that, huh? So, um,

5:50

26 things that I've learned.

5:54

Um, by 26,

5:56

honey. I want to say one of the first

5:58

things that I have learned.

6:01

Is that. Life.

6:05

Is to be lived

6:07

with intention. Um,

6:11

I feel as though. Well,

6:14

no, I feel as though I know. Um,

6:17

There's just so many distractions in

6:19

the world. And there's so

6:21

much going on that, It

6:23

seems like, you know, needs our attention. Clearly

6:26

this world is. Insanity. This

6:29

Life is really short. Time

6:31

goes by fast. You

6:33

know, Um, time waste for nobody.

6:36

And you hear. B's

6:39

sayings. And.

6:43

I think. When

6:46

you're younger and

6:48

you're just so full of life.

6:50

And you have all these hopes

6:52

and dreams and aspirations.

6:57

You know, Necessarily.

7:02

Really. Um, focus on being

7:04

intentional. Um,

7:09

And that doesn't mean like, oh,

7:11

I have to be. Working

7:14

all the time or I have to be PR. Quote unquote, productive

7:16

and doing something and yada yada, yada. Because

7:19

I also feel like, especially in the black

7:21

community, um, we feel

7:23

as though. If we're not

7:25

like. Quote, unquote, productive

7:28

doing something, working on something. Um,

7:31

like we can't just lie in bed. For

7:35

a day. We can't regroup. We ha

7:37

we have to be doing something. Um,

7:39

too few, like we're valuable

7:42

in this world. And,

7:44

um, I

7:47

don't think. That

7:49

is. Necessarily,

7:53

um, the, take them going

7:55

when I say be intentional. Um,

8:00

Because if you're not intentional about the life

8:02

that you're living. You're

8:05

not living life. Your life will live. You. Time.

8:11

Time. Oh, I

8:14

don't think I truly understood time.

8:17

Which is a manmade concept anyways, but. I'll

8:23

put it in perspective. When I

8:25

was in high school, I felt like. And

8:28

younger. I felt like. Time

8:31

was moving exponentially. Slept.

8:34

Okay. Um,

8:39

I was. Intentional.

8:43

To an extent. But to me,

8:45

time was moving exponentially. Slow.

8:49

And I felt like I had

8:51

all peace time in the world.

8:54

And I think a lot of us young feel like

8:56

we have all the time in the

8:58

world. Or, um,

9:01

actually now a lot of us feel like we

9:03

don't have the time. Well

9:06

to do what we want to do and accomplish, but.

9:09

Like I said during the time that I felt like I

9:11

had all the time. So

9:17

now I feel like my perspective of

9:19

time and being intentional has

9:21

changed. Um, my

9:24

perception of time has definitely drastically changed.

9:26

I feel quite frankly, I feel

9:29

like I don't have enough, even though as humans

9:31

we are offered. a great

9:33

deal of time, especially if you, um,

9:36

take care of yourself properly and

9:38

are fortunate enough to not, you know, have any

9:40

significant illnesses that take you out.

9:43

Um, but

9:45

yeah, um,

9:48

now I feel like time, whoo,

9:52

time precedes me. Time, time

9:55

moves at an exponential rate

9:57

to me. Um, And

10:00

I think my perception

10:02

with that has changed with having a child

10:04

because how can you deny time

10:10

when you see a little

10:13

human growing and developing

10:16

at an exponential rate,

10:19

right in front of your eyes? It's

10:22

hard to ignore. It's hard to ignore. I do. It's

10:24

impossible. I don't know. Are you

10:26

Delulu? It's just such a,

10:29

it's such a funny, interesting

10:32

concept that we have. Um,

10:36

so I think me

10:39

now being more intentional it's more

10:41

about. being intentional

10:44

about the big picture

10:46

for myself and for my family. always

10:49

keeping that in mind and

10:51

always moving towards that and

10:54

going towards things that serve

10:56

me in that direction of where I want

10:58

to be. So I

11:01

guess that's what I mean when I say being intentional,

11:04

be intentional and living the life that

11:06

you want to live. Um,

11:09

Whatever that means and

11:11

you know, you can take little steps towards it

11:13

every single day every

11:17

single day so Yeah,

11:19

that's what I mean the intentional Another

11:25

thing That

11:27

I would say i'm writing this down So

11:32

I don't really say it and um Hey,

11:36

so I remember Um,

11:38

just to give yourself gratitude You,

11:40

well, if you have an inner

11:43

dialogue, um, which

11:46

I've found out over the years that,

11:48

you know, not everybody has an inner dialogue, which

11:50

is mind blowing to me, but if you

11:52

do have an inner dialogue, you

11:56

probably talk to yourself, but you talk

11:58

to yourself more than you talk to anybody else,

12:00

okay? Even if it's just little things

12:03

in your head, you know what I mean? A

12:08

lot of the times, you know, you've heard

12:10

the saying, we're our, you're your

12:12

own worst critic. And it's

12:14

true, you have nothing but time

12:17

to live in your head and say whatever and feel

12:19

whatever. Um, but

12:24

a lot of the times we aren't as

12:26

kind and understanding

12:28

as we would be as if we

12:30

were talking to a friend who's,

12:33

um, going through the same thing, or

12:35

feeling the same thing, or made

12:37

the same mistakes, etc, etc.

12:40

also in saying giving yourself gratitude,

12:43

and saying that, also like, thank yourself.

12:47

Constantly, you pat yourself

12:49

on the back, say it out loud,

12:51

say it in your head, think your brain, like,

12:56

All these little pieces of

12:58

you coming together. it

13:00

seems so, I

13:02

feel like we make life seem

13:05

so ordinary. Just

13:08

like I feel like we, um, think

13:10

of getting birth just so ordinary.

13:13

Like, yeah, that's just the thing that women do.

13:16

Um, I think that it's

13:19

extraordinary. I think we're extraordinary.

13:22

I think we're

13:24

like extraterrestrial creatures.

13:27

We're the aliens.

13:29

Okay. Like, I think

13:33

it's not just something That should

13:35

be so, just so

13:37

overlooked, I guess, is

13:40

what I want to say. but yeah, we really owe

13:42

ourselves a lot of

13:46

the gratitude and the thanks. Pat

13:49

yourself on the back, thank

13:52

yourself, thank your brain, for

13:54

all the hard work that it does, for

13:57

everything. Allowing you to get up

13:59

and do all these things. Thank

14:01

you brain for allowing all those

14:04

processes to keep on processing

14:06

correctly. Okay. I

14:10

mean, some of y'all like to thank God and

14:13

you can do that too, but you can thank

14:15

yourself as well. Thank yourself.

14:19

Thank yourself. Show

14:22

gratitude and be kind. Not

14:24

to just everybody else, but yourself.

14:27

Honestly. You first.

14:30

How about that? Another

14:34

thing that I would say

14:36

is learn

14:39

patience. Okay.

14:42

Patience is the thing that we have

14:44

to learn and we have

14:46

to exercise it like a muscle.

14:50

because having a lack of patience can

14:52

really get you outside of your body. for

14:56

little, small, insignificant

14:58

things. Um, and

15:01

also I think the lack of patience

15:05

says, it usually says

15:07

a lot more about you

15:10

than, um, than

15:13

anybody else involved or anything else that's

15:15

going on. It's, it's really more

15:17

about you. Um, and I'm not gonna

15:19

say like in some instances it's not, um,

15:22

the cause for it for you to. Lack

15:25

a little bit patience or speak up or whatever

15:28

Um, especially dealing with other people because don't

15:30

let people play with your time. Okay We

15:34

can't get that back we're intentional about time

15:36

right so don't let people play with you but

15:41

But um definitely

15:44

learn patience learn

15:46

patience patience patience It

15:48

is instant essential in every

15:50

um I feel like in every

15:52

aspect, in every, um,

15:56

every day, every day you wake up honey, whether

15:59

it's patience with others, patience with yourself,

16:02

you need to

16:04

learn patience. And

16:07

especially, most definitely,

16:09

if you want kids, do

16:12

not, do

16:14

not, do not. If you

16:16

know that you have a real issue, a

16:18

real issue with being patient.

16:22

Do not go and have them kids. I swear

16:24

to god It

16:26

won't help you it won't help you

16:29

okay, don't do it You

16:31

need to get some patience first You

16:34

need to practice This is

16:36

something you have to practice all the time every

16:38

day all day. You will be tested. You

16:40

will be tested and You

16:43

know, sometimes you won't you won't ace

16:45

it. Okay, but at

16:48

least Since you

16:50

grasped patience, you can probably

16:52

recognize that, hey,

16:55

damn, maybe I was stripping off more than

16:57

normal patience, so I can work on that the next

16:59

time, or I know the next time that, da

17:01

da da da. You know? Because, definitely, sometimes

17:03

I get an out of body too, and

17:05

I lose my motherfucking patience,

17:08

and then, you know, you reflect. A

17:10

little bit later and you're like, uh, Me

17:13

personally, it'd be like a second later and I'd be like, Okay,

17:15

well you didn't really have to act like

17:18

that. You didn't really have to react like that. You could've

17:20

been more patient. Or you could've been more calm. Do

17:22

you know what I mean? So yeah.

17:25

Learn patience.

17:27

Okay, what number are we on? Number four.

17:29

Okay. Number

17:32

four, I would say

17:36

Don't get caught up in the friend's

17:39

hype and learn how to be

17:41

a good friend. I'm gonna put that home and

17:44

when I say get caught up in the friends hype is

17:50

Cuz even I have and

17:52

not necessarily just because of people

17:55

But you know when you when

17:57

you're on social media, and you see

17:59

A group of friends, you know, who are

18:01

having a good time and it

18:04

seemed like they have a really good support system,

18:06

yada, yada, yada. You know, everybody's

18:09

besties, everybody shows up for one

18:11

another, everybody's doing their thing, and it

18:13

just looks like it's beautiful, you know what I mean?

18:16

So it looks like something

18:18

you'd wish you'd have like in a friend group.

18:21

You wish you had more of a community, and

18:25

maybe your friends and

18:27

community don't look like

18:30

how you want them to show

18:32

up, I guess, in your world, so you

18:34

see somebody else and

18:38

it seems like, you

18:40

know, wow.

18:44

Having more friends would be great.

18:48

And I'm not saying that it's not. Um,

18:50

especially because, you know, it is harder as

18:54

you get older for whatever reason, or

18:56

I don't know if it's just in the 20s

18:58

type thing, that, um, it's

19:00

just difficult to make friends.

19:03

I'm not sure what that's about, but it's

19:05

just seemingly so difficult. And

19:07

honestly, I think I want to blame social

19:09

media a bit. I'm not going to haunt you.

19:12

I'm going to blame social media. I'm

19:15

going to blame the, um,

19:17

work. Of course, honey, because

19:20

child, we be at work. Or we got stuff to do.

19:23

Um, so who has time

19:25

to go out and make friends? Not everybody wants

19:27

to be friends with their damn coworkers. The hell?

19:29

But everybody's

19:32

like, Oh, like they want their own

19:34

little amazing little friend group, And

19:36

yadda yadda yadda. And I think

19:38

that's, of course, that's nice, that's lovely,

19:40

And honestly, it might be ideal. I

19:43

think it's ideal for me. Honestly, I would love,

19:45

I think a community like that. I really

19:47

do. Um, and I think it

19:49

might be ideal for a lot of people.

19:52

However, however, however, um,

19:56

The second half of this number four was

19:58

learn how to be a good friend. Um,

20:01

I don't think that a lot of you

20:03

all know how to be a good friend.

20:06

Decent friend. And I don't

20:08

think you all understand

20:10

Decent friend. Or a lot of people understand

20:12

how to really maintain

20:15

certain relationships. And

20:18

to have a good friend, I think you have

20:20

to be a good friend. You

20:22

don't just, you don't just get a friend.

20:25

Well, hopefully you don't just get a friend and you're

20:28

not being a good friend to them as well. Um,

20:30

it's a trade off and it takes

20:33

time. It takes energy.

20:35

It takes, it takes a lot of stuff. Um,

20:39

And I can say for myself right now,

20:42

in this, space that I'm in, I

20:45

don't think I really have the capacity

20:47

to develop and upkeep new relationships,

20:50

at least not the way that I would want

20:52

to. I

20:54

don't think I could show up as the great

20:56

friend that I know I am and

20:59

can be at this moment to new people,

21:01

you know what I mean? And I wish

21:03

that a lot of other people would

21:07

take accountability and kind of stay the same.

21:10

Cause a lot of you guys aren't

21:12

good friends, aren't good people to be

21:15

in any type of relationship with, whether

21:17

it be platonic, or romantic

21:19

or whatever, so,

21:23

that's my thing. So it's like, don't get caught

21:25

up in the whole, Friends

21:28

thing because it's not just,

21:30

you know, going out and having fun

21:33

and having a good time. You're

21:36

supposed to be there for your friends, child.

21:38

And a lot of y'all need to learn how to

21:40

be a good friend. Number

21:46

five. Don't

21:51

take it personal. Don't

21:54

take it personal, honey.

21:57

You know when I say, I mean about any

21:59

and everything. Um,

22:04

but specifically when dealing with people. Child,

22:07

don't take it personal. People

22:10

are people. People are human just like

22:12

you. We have feelings,

22:15

triggers, all these neurons,

22:17

processes. It's a whole lot of stuff

22:20

going on. People got their own

22:22

lives. You are the main character

22:24

in your life and

22:26

other people are the main character in their own lives. So

22:29

if you got a whole lot of stuff going on, you

22:34

can assume they also got

22:36

a whole bunch of stuff going on. So

22:39

it's not always about you.

22:42

It's, it's, it's not. Okay?

22:46

It's not. I say this like that because

22:48

um, it,

22:52

it is very annoying to try to tell people

22:55

like, baby,

22:58

kind of get over yourself because I'm

23:01

not tripping about you. I got other

23:03

shit that I'm worried about. It's not about

23:05

you, so don't, don't

23:07

take it personal. You, you, you.

23:13

Don't take it personal.

23:16

cause I feel like if you start to

23:18

take shit personally

23:21

that people didn't direct to you.

23:24

Babes, you're gonna go crazy. You're

23:29

gonna start assigning

23:31

things to you that wasn't even

23:33

for you. Now we got if

23:35

the shoe, if the shoe fits, then

23:38

hey, don't wear it. And, and that's what

23:40

you wanna do. And even when the shoe don't fit, you'll

23:43

not break them mos in. So

23:47

like I said, don't take it personal,

23:50

like, don't take it personal. I

23:53

remember, a recent,

23:56

thing of me not taking it personal.

23:59

Um, my friend,

24:02

I had texted her, I

24:04

think, just saying I missed her

24:07

or something, and I don't

24:09

think she had responded, and she

24:11

hadn't responded for days, and

24:13

it really wasn't like her. It's not like

24:15

her at all. Um, so

24:18

I was just talking to my other friend about it, and I was like, hmm,

24:21

it's really not like her. So,

24:23

Um, I don't feel no type of way.

24:25

I just like, you know, I hope things are

24:27

fine. I hope she's doing okay. Um,

24:30

and we'll just see. But it's not

24:32

like her. That's a little weird. I don't

24:34

wanna feel No, I was like, you know, I don't wanna feel no type

24:36

of way, but, um, it's just, it's

24:39

not like her, but whatever. Um,

24:41

dare two goes by, which

24:44

is fine. 'cause girl, y'all,

24:47

me and my Texan skills, they

24:53

have gone down the train. I

24:55

used to be an amazing texter. Amazing.

25:00

Now, so so. It depends on the

25:02

day. It depends on the time.

25:04

It depends on a lot. But anyways,

25:06

yeah, she didn't, um, text back.

25:08

And I was just like, you know, I don't want to take it

25:10

personally, but that's, you know, that's not like her. I hope

25:12

she's fine. A few

25:15

days go by, like I said, and

25:17

she hits me back. And I'm just like, okay,

25:22

because now what if I took it personally?

25:25

I know some people would have taken that shit personally

25:28

and by the first or second day, if they didn't respond,

25:31

their notifications would have been muted. If they would

25:33

have blocked them or they would have done some extra shit. And

25:38

that's just a little example. But

25:40

I do feel like in every day,

25:43

like there's just a lot of different examples

25:45

or where people be

25:47

projected and just take stuff on.

25:50

And you shouldn't, don't take it personally.

25:54

Relax. Relax.

25:58

And that's where I say

26:01

y'all need to learn how to communicate. Okay.

26:09

Learn to articulate

26:11

your feelings, your emotions,

26:15

not passive aggressively. Okay.

26:19

When I say communicate, I mean, when

26:22

you communicate, this is

26:24

how I say it. You need to be

26:26

direct. Okay.

26:29

You need to be empathetic. Okay,

26:34

you also when we're talking about communicating

26:37

to that doesn't mean you're doing all the talking so that

26:39

means you need to actively listen You need

26:41

to know how to actively listen. You

26:43

need to know how to comprehend

26:47

What is being said to you and

26:55

I don't know but the those those

26:58

are the tips For y'all learn

27:01

how to communicate. It is essential.

27:03

It is a essential Okay,

27:07

I don't mean communicate over the goddamn telephone, communicate,

27:09

well, okay, telephone is different. But,

27:13

I mean, I don't mean communicating over text, email,

27:15

none of that, social media. Communicating.

27:20

Verbally communicating and

27:22

articulating what

27:25

it is that you're feeling, which you want to

27:27

convey to the other person, being

27:29

able to actively listen, comprehend,

27:32

respond appropriately. Okay? Okay?

27:36

That's what y'all need to work on. But

27:41

yes, I think, um,

27:45

Number six, learn how to communicate.

27:48

Um, very

27:51

valuable information. Number,

27:54

what number was that? Oh, okay, so number

27:56

seven, honey. Number

27:59

seven. Hmm.

28:02

I, I would say, Hmm. Don't,

28:07

don't limit yourself based on

28:10

others opinions or beliefs.

28:13

Don't do that. Don't do that. One,

28:16

because first of all, as

28:19

far as we know, we only have one life to live

28:21

and you have to live it. Nobody

28:23

else. So why would you, why

28:26

would you, why would you

28:28

ever change or

28:30

limit or alter anything? because

28:32

of somebody else's opinions or beliefs. Trash

28:35

that immediately. Um,

28:38

two, everybody has

28:41

opinions and beliefs or people.

28:44

It is what it is. Whether

28:47

their opinion or beliefs align with

28:49

yours, it

28:52

doesn't really matter. It

28:55

doesn't really matter, especially if you're not

28:57

it doesn't really matter. Also.

29:01

Guess that's not the reason is because

29:03

we live in a world where there's just infinite

29:06

amount of opportunities

29:09

and things to do, and things to accomplish and think

29:11

experiences and things like that. So why would

29:13

you ever, because

29:16

they don't know it all either. So

29:19

why would you ever listen to somebody who don't even know everything?

29:22

And if somebody tell you that they know everything they do they

29:25

some motherfucking lie and you should get away

29:27

quickly. The hell? And also I just think it

29:29

holds yourself back. It holds

29:32

yourself back from amazing opportunities

29:37

from what, what aligns

29:39

with you and your values and what you want

29:41

out of life. So

29:44

don't ever. Don't ever

29:46

limit yourself. If people, if everybody

29:49

limit themselves based on other

29:52

opinions or beliefs, we would never

29:54

progress in any type of way. It

29:58

would be absolutely horrific. I

30:01

think also, I think people also limit

30:03

themselves because of what they

30:06

think people are going to say.

30:08

Like people are, people are going to think, um,

30:11

before they've even said or thought anything,

30:13

you know, we

30:15

perceive. What a reaction

30:17

is going to be and you know, sometimes we

30:20

limit ourselves based off of that and

30:22

it's just such a disservice to not only ourselves,

30:25

but potentially the world.

30:28

You don't know what kind of difference you can make.

30:31

And we can all make a difference. The

30:33

hell? Gee. You

30:37

see what we've done already? Now

30:39

I know it looks crazy and it looks a mess.

30:43

But really think about all that we've done already.

30:46

All that you've done yourself already.

30:50

Big yourself up. Stop. Stop

30:53

it. Stop it. Y'all

30:55

will never get anywhere in life if you limit yourself.

30:59

This is the limitless

31:01

life. And

31:04

if you limit yourself, you are

31:06

gonna limit your, You just

31:08

limit everything. You limit yourself, then

31:10

that limits, I feel like, things that, potential

31:13

opportunities and things and experiences

31:16

that align with you, um,

31:18

you'll be limited to

31:21

how they come to you, um,

31:23

if they come to you. Because

31:27

if you really

31:30

want this one thing,

31:32

then you need to be focused

31:35

and about and have the big picture

31:37

of, hey, I'm gonna get

31:39

there. Instead

31:41

of being scary and saying

31:44

no, no, no, I'm gonna stay over here because There's

31:47

this and that Stuff

31:49

outside of your control Hang

31:53

it up. Hang it up

31:56

Number eight. Number

31:59

eight is, I'm

32:01

kind of throwing shots with this one but

32:05

number eight is you do not

32:07

have to know everything and

32:12

heavy on the, you'll

32:14

never. And

32:19

if you think you know everything, you're stupid.

32:22

And I said what I said, I think you're

32:24

dumb as rocks. If you think, if you really

32:26

think that you know everything, I think you're stupid as fuck.

32:31

Because that's a limited mindset to me.

32:34

For you to believe that you know everything, you

32:37

don't, you don't. I've always said

32:39

it. I hate people who walk around

32:41

with the arrogance about them

32:43

that they know it all. Because it

32:46

just shows to me that you don't and it just, to

32:48

me, it just points out in every

32:50

area that you lack when

32:53

you think you know it all. I

32:56

know nothing, as far as I'm concerned,

32:58

and I'm okay with that. I'm

33:01

okay with that. And

33:03

then also, I don't know what it is with

33:05

a lot of you that feel like you have to like

33:08

figure out the world and you

33:10

need answers. Calm

33:13

down. How

33:17

about y'all figure out something else,

33:19

like, figure out how

33:21

to make them cancel our student debt instead

33:24

of y'all arguing

33:26

about, No, the earth is really

33:28

flat. Or

33:31

y'all worried about, Why

33:34

this is this and is this the only

33:37

life we live? Well if you spend the

33:39

whole time worrying about is this the only life we

33:41

live, this life gon pass yo

33:43

ass and I guess you gon see it end. I'm like, I

33:45

don't, I don't know. What

33:48

more do you want? What more do you want?

33:51

I feel like when you're, when you're in your head feeling

33:53

like you have to, feeling

33:56

crazy because you don't know anything or you

33:58

have to figure out everything or you have to, you

34:00

just have to know this. Are

34:03

you living? Like what do you do?

34:05

What are you actually doing? What

34:09

are you doing? Why is it keeping you

34:12

up at night? Why?

34:15

I think the beauty in life

34:17

is that we don't know everything. Literally,

34:20

how boring of a journey

34:23

would this be if we all

34:26

knew everything? How

34:29

boring? How boring? How

34:33

How many of us would sit there

34:36

and play a video game over

34:38

and over and over again

34:42

if we had

34:44

to do the exact same

34:47

thing over Thing to

34:49

the T. Because

34:53

we knew everything. What,

34:55

where's the fun in that video game? Where's

34:58

the fun? The

35:00

fun is in the constant

35:02

change. The only thing in

35:05

life that is constant is change.

35:08

The unknowing. That's,

35:11

that's what makes this so fun and

35:13

special. If everything

35:16

went your way, sure,

35:18

maybe you would love it. Maybe you would, maybe

35:21

you would say that you love it. How

35:25

boring. You

35:29

know, just like they say, you

35:32

know, with the rain and the sun. What,

35:36

what they say with the rain and the sun, you know,

35:38

to um, or the

35:40

rainbow, you know, to see the rainbow,

35:43

you gotta rain, something like that. I don't fucking

35:45

know. But the point is,

35:48

you gotta have both. Okay.

35:53

And it's fine not to know everything and to

35:55

live in the unknown. I

35:57

honestly figured that out a long time

35:59

ago. I, I wish a lot

36:01

of people would join. Like, do you know

36:03

how many, how many people in

36:06

the brain cells that were used and abused

36:10

to try to figure out something that I feel

36:12

really, you ain't even got no business

36:14

trying to figure it out. Keep it pushing

36:17

and live the life that you want to live before

36:20

it lives you. Number

36:24

nine, I'd

36:28

say do

36:31

it all, do everything.

36:34

Do everything. Everything

36:37

that your heart desires.

36:40

And whether it looks quote

36:43

unquote correct. And

36:45

I don't mean correct in like, I

36:48

guess I mean correct in like the path.

36:50

Cause you know, everybody

36:53

has their own path. Um,

36:55

and your path, your

36:57

journey of course may not look correct

37:00

to everybody. And the things

37:03

you do and um, participate

37:05

in might not look like

37:08

that for everybody. But I still say

37:10

do it all. Whether

37:12

it be You

37:14

know, activities that you want to

37:16

do, whether it be

37:19

different careers that you want to go into,

37:21

whether you want to move

37:25

50 million times, whether

37:28

you want to, whatever.

37:31

Do it all. Do

37:34

it all when you can. I

37:36

mean, I still got a long

37:38

ways to go. But

37:41

I think I can say, I

37:43

really don't have any regrets

37:46

in my life so far. I really

37:49

don't think I can say, be like, sit here and

37:51

say like, Ooh, I

37:53

truly regret that. Because

37:56

I feel like for the most part, I've

37:58

done it all. What

38:01

I've really wanted to do. Whether

38:04

it look right in the moment to anybody,

38:07

whatever, I just do it. Do

38:11

it and go full speed ahead. And

38:14

hey, if it doesn't work out, if you don't enjoy

38:16

it, whatever, whatever it is, then

38:19

hey, well at least you can say that

38:21

you did it. cause I feel like in my

38:23

life so far, with

38:26

even all that is yet to come

38:28

and to be accomplished, Shit,

38:33

I think I lived a pretty damn

38:35

good life, and

38:37

I'm proud of myself. Yeah,

38:43

do it all people. You know, I've moved

38:45

to states where I have never even

38:48

stepped foot in before I moved there

38:50

just because I said yeah. I'm

38:53

gonna go, and I'm gonna do it.

38:56

Um, it's

38:58

made me meet some amazing people

39:00

that I still keep in touch with

39:02

today. It's made

39:05

me, um, just

39:08

see different parts of the world, child, and

39:10

just see how they live. And, um,

39:13

it's always been, for the most

39:16

part, an amazing experience. Just

39:18

doing what I feel

39:21

I should do. Which is doing what

39:23

whatever my heart desires.

39:27

So just do it, like Nike.

39:30

Okay, they said, they knew,

39:32

they knew, just do it. Number

39:36

10, health and

39:38

wellness. Okay,

39:44

this is something that I've learned,

39:47

but I am still working on. when

39:49

it comes to the health and wellness thing.

39:52

Um, I

39:55

don't feel like it was drilled

39:57

into a lot of kids or

40:00

to a lot of people in general. Um,

40:03

how much,

40:07

okay. I feel like we were taught this scientific

40:09

way of, you know, what's

40:11

inside our body and how it works

40:14

per se, per se. But

40:16

there is never really

40:20

This deep connection,

40:24

per se, I guess, between

40:27

like, the person, at

40:30

least I'll speak for myself, especially as a

40:32

child, um, I

40:35

don't know, to like really get in tune with

40:38

your body. I

40:41

don't feel like I've ever, um,

40:43

actively tried to get in tune

40:45

with my body until

40:47

I was around 23,

40:50

24. And

40:52

that's when I started to feel like, Oh,

40:56

okay. Okay.

40:59

I don't know, where I just understood and I just

41:01

felt, I felt the best that I

41:03

had. Probably

41:07

all my life. Yeah,

41:11

that is extremely,

41:13

extremely, extremely important.

41:17

And for me personally, I mean, when you, when

41:19

I think, and

41:21

it speaks to how your

41:23

body responds to

41:26

how important it is. It really does.

41:29

I can tell a major difference, of course, when

41:32

I'm, Um, consistently

41:34

exercising and eating well,

41:38

and I can tell the difference when I'm

41:40

not as mobile

41:42

and not eating well, or

41:44

at all, or enough, um,

41:49

and, yikes, is

41:51

what I can say is, yikes, I

41:54

really wish that we were, taught

41:57

how food and plants

41:59

really are medicine and

42:01

how, they interact with our

42:04

bodies and things like that.

42:06

I truly wish we were taught that and

42:09

it was instilled in us as

42:12

children. I

42:15

really hope to instill

42:18

that in my children. That,

42:20

you know, food and plants or medicine

42:22

and being in tune with your body and knowing

42:24

and listening to your body is extremely

42:27

important. I feel like we listen to our body

42:30

in different ways, but we don't always

42:33

listen to it when it comes to the health

42:35

and aspects, health, health

42:38

and wellness aspect of it. Um,

42:40

I think we listen when, you know, We

42:43

listen when we're in pain

42:45

sometimes, or we listen

42:48

when we have like a gut feeling.

42:51

Um, but again, I don't

42:53

necessarily feel like a lot of people are really

42:55

in tune with

42:58

their bodies and are listening

43:03

to their bodies to then do

43:05

better for their bodies.

43:07

You know what I mean? And you only

43:09

got one. So,

43:14

y'all better make that shit work. Make that shit shake.

43:16

Y'all better get up and move, work.

43:19

Okay, if you don't want nobody wiping your ass,

43:21

then get up. Get up.

43:26

Be consistent and get up, literally.

43:28

Um, working in a nursing

43:30

rehabilitation home was

43:33

an absolutely amazing, amazing,

43:35

amazing, amazing experience. and

43:37

it was very, inspirational

43:40

to see an 103

43:43

year old up every morning,

43:46

up walking, making laps around

43:49

the nursing home and

43:52

just reading and dancing.

43:57

We would dance sometimes and things like that.

43:59

And you know, I, she's getting

44:01

up, she's moving, she's eating

44:04

well. You know what I mean?

44:06

And it, it seems

44:10

really these, when

44:12

I'm saying it, it seems like such a minute

44:15

change, but I understand like, especially

44:18

living in America, how

44:21

intricate and difficult

44:23

it can be to do

44:25

better and eat better and the access

44:27

to these things, um, and

44:30

to exercise and things like that. Um,

44:34

I do know it's so difficult,

44:37

but if you can't do it, It'll

44:41

only be, it'll only

44:43

be great for you and your health. Health

44:47

really is wealth. Because

44:50

if you don't have your health, yeah, I

44:52

mean essentially you have nothing. Number

44:55

eleven, I would say,

45:00

Lean on your

45:03

support system and maintain

45:05

those important relationships.

45:08

I'm putting that all in one. For

45:11

me, it's

45:13

always been very difficult to

45:17

lean on people and ask for help. Um,

45:21

Since the birth of my son and,

45:23

when I was pregnant with him, it had gotten a lot

45:25

better and it's progressively getting

45:28

better. As well

45:30

as me leaning on them and me being more

45:32

open, I guess, and upfront about

45:36

certain things. Like

45:38

in my life or I guess things that I think

45:41

are important to me Just I

45:43

don't know cuz I feel like sometimes I've been closed

45:45

off I'm like

45:48

people don't really know what's going on with me. And it's like

45:50

I don't Well,

45:52

sometimes I do it purposefully

45:55

but um Not

45:57

all the time Not

46:00

all the time. So I've gotten

46:02

better with that, and I've definitely gotten

46:04

better with, like I said, um,

46:07

just reaching out to people when I

46:10

need, when I need help. I

46:13

don't like to, and I

46:15

kind of refuse now to sit for in silence.

46:17

Like, that's not really a thing of mine. If

46:20

I feel something, I'm gonna

46:22

say it. And also, like I said,

46:24

like maintaining those important relationships.

46:28

I definitely need to work on that because

46:31

I feel like, you know, I'd be lifing, but

46:33

I also feel like that's not an excuse. Um,

46:38

but I do try, you know,

46:40

when I think of people, I try

46:42

to just text them in the moment

46:44

or call them in the moment, right when I'm

46:46

thinking of them, because a

46:48

lot of times if I don't like a lot

46:50

of time will go by and,

46:52

um, Yeah,

46:55

unfortunately, like, I just won't talk to

46:58

them and, um,

47:01

I'm already really bad at texting. So,

47:04

it's just, it's just a whole thing. It's,

47:06

it's something that I'm struggling

47:09

with a bit and I'm just trying to juggle,

47:12

I'm just trying to juggle a lot of things

47:14

at once. There's a lot of moving

47:16

pieces, a lot of new things happening,

47:19

so it's. It's

47:21

hard, but family and friends,

47:24

I really am trying my best. I'm

47:26

trying my best. I really am, but I

47:28

will, I know I will get to a place

47:30

where it

47:33

won't be like that. And

47:35

not only will I be able to stay in

47:37

touch more, but I'll be able

47:39

to see everybody more consistently,

47:42

so I'm

47:44

excited about that. It's all

47:46

gonna come together in due time, it's

47:49

just, I kind

47:51

of hate that it's like this now,

47:53

but not for long guys,

47:55

not for long. Number

47:58

twelve. I

48:01

would say don't take yourself too seriously. Again,

48:05

I'm working on that. But

48:07

like, don't. Like, Why?

48:10

Why do you need to be so uptight and so

48:13

serious for? Loosen up a bit.

48:15

You know what I mean? In all settings. Just

48:17

be. Just

48:20

be. Yeah,

48:24

you don't have to take yourself too seriously. You don't

48:26

have to be a certain

48:29

way all the time. You know what I mean? Loosen

48:31

up. It's okay. Show

48:34

yourself. Let yourself shine. You

48:36

really don't know the

48:38

type of people and opportunities,

48:41

experiences, and things and stuff like that,

48:44

that will come

48:46

to you just being you, just

48:48

showing yourself to

48:50

whomever, you know what I mean? So

48:55

loosen up and let those wings

48:57

fly, honey. Stop having,

49:00

like, imposter syndrome

49:02

or Second guessing yourself,

49:04

just, what I say, just

49:07

do it. Like Nike. Don't take

49:09

yourself too seriously. Life's

49:11

too short for that. And,

49:14

number thirteen. We're

49:17

gonna end this, um, in

49:21

this episode here on number 13,

49:24

half of 26, honey. And

49:28

I guess I'll see you, next week

49:30

with part two, but half

49:34

of 26, 13.

49:36

Hmm. I

49:39

would say, look what I've learned.

49:42

I learned that this is a video

49:45

game. This

49:47

is a video game. And

49:52

You know, instantly I started thinking about sims.

49:55

This is, I am a sim character. This

49:59

is a video game. I am,

50:01

you know, always creating

50:05

and altering my character.

50:09

I am always evolving.

50:12

I

50:14

have created a family. But,

50:18

um, thinking about life

50:21

as a video game and

50:23

yourself as like a character, and

50:25

you know, I think really simplifies

50:28

and makes it,

50:32

makes life a little, a little

50:34

less serious, a

50:36

little more forgiving, and you

50:38

just, you know, You instantly understand

50:41

it on a different level, like,

50:43

this is literally a video

50:46

game. It's a video game.

50:49

The world is the console. Now

50:52

if we don't get this, Global

50:56

warming and pollution and all this stuff

50:58

together, the console

51:00

gone. Shut off,

51:03

but We're never talking about

51:05

that. Um But

51:08

for real, this is a video game and

51:11

that also makes me feel so much better

51:13

about life, too when you think about

51:15

it in the video game, like Because

51:19

what do you do in the video game? Yeah, you

51:21

explore, you do all the stuff, but uh, but

51:24

um You can fail

51:27

And that's okay Cuz

51:29

you know why? You just

51:31

restart the game again. That's

51:34

all you do. You just restart. And

51:38

then, it's brand new. So

51:41

if you just restart, everything's

51:44

fine. It's

51:46

literally like it never happened. But,

51:50

it did happen, now you have the knowledge.

51:53

Now you have the knowledge, right? So

51:56

play it again. Play the game again. Play

52:00

it however many times. You're

52:02

gonna win. Winner

52:04

of the odds Come on. The

52:07

odds are for you. You're gonna win. This

52:10

is a video game. None of this stuff matters.

52:14

Okay, it does. It does matter, guys. Don't,

52:16

don't take it to heart. It does

52:18

matter. But, Not the little

52:21

stuff. Don't sweat the little

52:23

stuff. This is just a video

52:25

game. You're just creating

52:27

your character. Just going through life. Bye. That's

52:31

it. It's

52:33

pretty simple here guys, you

52:35

know. Now there's a lot of other

52:37

variables that are outside of

52:40

our control, but we focus on what we can control.

52:42

All right,

52:46

this is a video game. Oh

52:48

my goodness. Anyways,

52:52

like I said, we're going to end on number 13

52:54

because if we continue we're going to be here all day. And

52:57

that's not what I want. And I don't

52:59

think that's what you want either. And even if you

53:02

did want it, honey, you're not getting it from me, not today.

53:04

But I hope that

53:06

you guys enjoyed

53:09

this a little bit. And it made you

53:11

think. Think about what you've learned.

53:14

And, or what you need to continue learning.

53:18

Um, y'all got stuff to work on. We're

53:20

all works in progress. Nobody's

53:23

perfect. I don't aim to be. I

53:25

just aim to be me. My little character

53:27

in this game. And I can

53:29

say that I'm very proud of myself

53:32

and my character. I love I love

53:34

this game. I love this game This

53:36

game this game has been you

53:39

know, all that's come with it.

53:41

I have some talents this game has been Pretty

53:45

damn good. I'm, sorry Pretty

53:48

damn good So

53:54

I hope you guys Continue

53:58

to love the

54:00

video game that you're in. And

54:03

if not, baby, put

54:06

another disc in, okay? Put

54:08

another disc in, that's it. Play

54:11

with different rules. But

54:15

I think that wraps

54:17

this episode up. You

54:20

know, the sun has officially set

54:22

on this episode of Stage and Sunshine.

54:25

I thank you all for rocking with me through

54:27

this, you know, transition kind of crazy

54:30

time. Uh,

54:32

I'm trying to keep it going strong,

54:34

y'all. I feel

54:37

like from the beginning, it's just been

54:39

kind of a lot of stuff getting in the

54:41

way of this, but I

54:43

am not over it. Finished.

54:46

Okay. So, we're gonna

54:48

keep going. I'm

54:50

gonna keep, um, playing this part of the video

54:52

game as much as I can. And,

54:56

I hope that you guys have an amazing,

54:59

amazing weekend. thank

55:01

you to all the amazing fathers out

55:03

there, we need you, we love you, we support you,

55:06

and happy father's day to you,

55:09

and a happy birthday to me, all you bitches

55:11

is my sons, let

55:14

me get off this microphone and stop playing y'all. Like

55:16

I said, I hope y'all have a fabulous weekend.

55:18

Happy Juneteenth. Happy birthday to me. Happy

55:21

Father's Day and Woop

55:23

woop, let's turn up Signing

55:27

off Oh,