0:01

You're listening to Comedy Central now

0:05

firing Twitter last

0:07

week? Man, look every

0:10

week with Twitter. It's some new ship. They're

0:13

saying that. Ellen Musk

0:16

sent out a letter to everybody, going, look, y'all

0:18

gotta work long hours. If y'all about this life, you

0:21

have until five pm to get

0:23

with it or get three months servants. At

0:25

five pm, employees started

0:27

resigning left and right to take the severance.

0:30

So Ellen has, now, it is being

0:32

reported, has locked out hundreds

0:35

of employees because

0:37

they're not sure which ones are the ones to quit,

0:39

and we don't want you coming in here on Monday morning sucking

0:41

up all the computer ship. This is ridiculous,

0:44

the wildest, bro, It's the wildest.

0:47

Remember, Ralph, remember when I told you my radio

0:49

fantasy when I quit radio is to take a sweet

0:51

teath specifically from Chick fil A because it's extra

0:53

sweet, and just throw it on all of the electronics

0:56

in the room that controls everything.

0:59

That's what they're scared it though, So they

1:01

have Ellen right now has hundreds of

1:03

sweet teas on his hands at

1:05

his company. Hey man, a

1:08

man, I wonder how many private

1:11

toilets are in the

1:13

Twitter building. There

1:15

ain't enough turts if you like,

1:18

there are enough turts. But if they

1:20

move as a group, if they move as a group,

1:22

they can get this done.

1:25

These people are resigning

1:28

in record numbers. I don't think they're gonna

1:30

do anything like that.

1:33

I don't know. Ain't nothing wrong with the little third on

1:35

the Walllet eon know how you feel about this ship.

1:39

Gonna be to check it.

1:59

My name Roy,

2:01

this is my job. Fair. Wednesday

2:04

is the most beautiful day of the week. It is

2:07

um do you still call this

2:09

Thanksgiving? What do we call with this? Jack win? The

2:13

day before Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving?

2:16

Eaty the

2:18

festiveness of it all? You

2:20

know, thanks Giving, sir? You

2:24

know, you know why I feel like Thanksgiving doesn't

2:27

get the same love

2:30

as other holidays. You

2:33

don't get ship on Thanksgiving.

2:37

That Valentine's Day you get

2:39

a gift. Halloween you get a gift. Christmas

2:42

you get a gift. Your Birthday you get a gift. Mothers

2:44

Day, bothers me secretary. Thanksgiving,

2:47

just sit around the table

2:49

and and just talk about how lucky

2:51

you are that where's my gift

2:54

at your house? Eating this trash assmcarni,

2:58

why don't you eat somebody's trash macro because

3:01

you'll be trying to be polite for them, because if you standing Thanksgiving

3:05

Thanksgiving, it that that's when the holidays

3:07

is where my make weird ship. And then they stare

3:09

at you while you tried. Like when a rapper

3:11

play your demo players demo for you, he'll be waiting

3:13

for you to nod your head. That's because you're polite.

3:17

The rappers playing the demo while you're at things

3:19

Giving right after the prayer, that that's when it's bad.

3:22

That's when it's bad. But I don't know, man, I gotta

3:24

I gotta actually outside with j G on this when the

3:26

faces she's making everything right about not Look,

3:29

man, we all southern. I don't play about things giving.

3:31

I ain't going to when nobody random house to eat at

3:33

things Giving. I'm too old for that. I can't

3:35

be introduced to new potato salads and

3:37

people trying turkeys for the first time and all

3:40

kind of crap. I need to know where the

3:42

hell I'm eating, bro, I just can't eat nowhere.

3:44

That's like when you got dredged. Just don't let nobody touch

3:46

your hair. I don't eat things Giving dinner anywhere.

3:49

If you are a Gray

3:52

Perry more, you

3:55

know what you're responsible for in

3:57

our house. Bring what your responsive

4:00

before, don't make it differently.

4:02

I don't care what you learned somewhere

4:04

else where you taste is something else, none

4:07

of that mess. Don't put pineapples

4:11

and the banana pudding. What is wrong

4:13

with you who put pineapples

4:15

in the banana push? She knows, she

4:18

knows. Mhmm,

4:24

you are. That's

4:26

like I thought you were just talking in general, but that's a specifically

4:29

got real specific di fast.

4:33

You know. J G is the foodie, so you know she takes

4:35

food serious. So she don't like people disrespecting

4:38

the food. I understand and respect that you got a

4:40

great show. I

4:44

don't want you to say nothing else is gonna ruin your holidays,

4:46

Jacqueline, because right now, but you all done on it,

4:49

so you probably got that thing on your right now. You probably

4:51

want to She is too. It's

4:54

gonna go down some pineapples and some banana

4:56

pudding. Bro, that's what I'm talking about. Everybody

5:00

knows that Poladin's banana

5:02

pudding is the best banana pudding. I

5:04

don't want to hear anything else. Ventriloquist

5:08

Jeff Dunham on the program today,

5:10

we're gonna talk about his Comedy Central special

5:12

that uh is premier and after Thanksgiving.

5:15

If you're hearing us after that, go back on the Paramount

5:17

plus app and dig it up um.

5:20

I opened for Jeff Dunham one time. Third

5:23

was this was this was back and this

5:25

is when he still played regular comedy clubs, like you know,

5:27

he's arena like he don't do less than ten thousand

5:29

seats, does big spots. He does big,

5:32

big, big spots. But like, oh two

5:34

Motherfucker's in Chattanooga on Thursday.

5:39

I got to like that. Last to the

5:41

ticket, Now I'm not I'm not hating. The tickets was

5:43

like fifty dollars. It

5:46

was a fifty dollar ticket on a Thursday night in Chatta,

5:48

Newman. So I got I got to open for him.

5:50

It was a really kind, really cool dude.

5:53

I'm excited to talk to him about the special. And if

5:55

it's anybody that we need to talk to about

5:57

woke culture, maybe

6:00

it's Jeff, because you know, I feel

6:02

like, because everything well

6:04

because with the Ventral, I don't even know what

6:06

to call him. Can we still call him dummies? That

6:10

disrespectful? Are they people? What's

6:12

the new word? Ventriloquist?

6:17

Partners partner Walter

6:20

Seen Partners, the fact

6:22

that he makes jokes that

6:25

are sometimes rooted

6:27

in a stereotype. It started at a stereotype because

6:29

I'm not gonna says his human is not lazy. But

6:32

if he's a white dude doing a Mexican accent on stage

6:34

pretending to be a hall opinion, is the

6:37

fact that he's doing this through ventriloquism

6:41

that's not a word it

6:44

is today? Is

6:46

that why he's able to get away with it? You

6:49

know, because his comedy transcends,

6:51

you know, every age. So I'm excited to

6:53

talk with him and j G understand

6:55

Um a couple

6:58

of emails, let's go ahead and check their is

7:00

job Fair at gmail dot com. We

7:02

have so much good news in the

7:04

inbox and some things that made my

7:07

eyes water as well, but I'll just stay

7:11

We got no more Haydana's Native Americans. Are

7:13

you happy now? Ran the episode

7:16

yesterday? We ran the episode

7:18

this week in the job Fair feet there

7:20

well be

7:23

so mean to I don't know when

7:25

I'm about to tell you that. Thomas McClure,

7:28

a former guest. We talked

7:30

with him about woodland firefighting

7:33

and working at an urban Indian

7:36

Health Organization, Episode

7:39

thirty, The Art of the Residonation September. If

7:41

you want to dig into Craton now, well, good news.

7:44

He's been promoted from a health

7:47

promotion specialist to

7:49

the director of health

7:52

Promotion. Congrats,

7:56

that's what did it? Yes,

8:00

and boy, he wants you to know that there are several

8:02

vacancies that they are hiring for

8:05

and he wants people to come apply at

8:07

All Nations dot health

8:10

slash careers. Congratulations,

8:13

Thomas, let it go. Good for

8:15

your brother, Thomas, Good for you got

8:17

the promotion. Don't suck it up. Make sure you steal

8:19

ship because sooner or later they're gonna try and come in.

8:22

Just hit me with the greasy friebred bro, that's

8:24

all I asked, the greasy friar need

8:27

that need that. We also have

8:30

things that bring Danielle k joy.

8:33

They are Bob's burger, playing

8:36

a bass guitar, serial a

8:39

lizard, and listening to Roy's job.

8:41

Fair. She wanted you to know that those

8:43

things are all in one group. Wow, that was

8:45

diverse. Thank you, daniel Okay, we appreciate

8:48

you. You're next to a lizard. I'll take that.

8:50

Lizards are pretty cool. And then Daniel

8:52

c enjoyed hearing Rhonda

8:55

talk about her peloton on the

8:57

episode My Wife's Boys,

9:00

How are you doing on your peloton? Rondo?

9:03

Alright, real quick, Cody's most

9:05

Outstanding Employee of the Week, Memphis,

9:08

Tennessee, shot out to Shelby County right

9:11

there on the wonderful, wonderful Mississippi River

9:14

um Fox thirteen.

9:18

The news crew at Fox thirteen was out

9:20

there in the stop for lunch

9:23

stop somewhere one one reason

9:25

or another, And when it came back to the old Fox

9:28

thirteen news van, all

9:30

the goddamn cameras was gone. And

9:34

of course you choked that up to insurance and the

9:36

average reporter, which is head back to the station, get

9:38

a new camera from the stock room and keep

9:40

it moving. Jeremy Pierre,

9:43

who was a proud employee of Fox thirteen,

9:45

woke up one morning and check his Facebook

9:47

and he had a message from

9:50

a man named Richard Okay.

9:53

The message to the Fox thirteen employee

9:56

was, hey, Jeremy, how do you work

9:58

the record button on this camera?

10:01

Oh my gosh, son. Underneath

10:04

that comment, it's a picture

10:06

of the man who stole the camera taking

10:09

a picture with the camera, so that Jeremy

10:11

can help him learn how to use this super

10:14

complicated news camera.

10:17

What young gentleman

10:19

by the name of Mookie, probably

10:26

a Mookie. You look at him, be

10:28

looks like a Mookie's got the little braids.

10:31

Wow, I

10:34

love it. If

10:38

you're if you're about to make Mookie, if

10:40

you're about to make Mookie the CMO. Not only

10:42

do I like this, I love this roy both

10:45

of them. I would argue that a

10:47

lot of crimes are crimes of necessity

10:50

because poverty begets the choice

10:52

to be criminalists in

10:54

a lot of instances. Okay, so you

10:56

have Richie, you have Mookie. These two young

10:58

brothers go damn, I really want to make

11:01

TV and movies. How

11:03

do we do it with the camera? We cannot

11:05

afford the camera. Look, the Fox

11:07

thirteen news van is right there, and

11:11

they took that camera and rather than pawn

11:13

it, rather than sell it, rather than

11:15

just let it collect us, they've

11:17

decided that they are going to use it.

11:20

And what better way to use

11:22

your newfound camera than to mention someone

11:25

who you know, knows how to use it. Mookie

11:30

and Richie are simply trying

11:32

to better themselves. Not agree

11:34

with the methods, but I love

11:36

the motivation. I love the tenacity

11:40

and for that. Yes,

11:48

in the name of young Dolf, give it to him.

11:50

You are most outstanding

11:53

employee of the week, brought to you by sackleson

11:55

State motherfucking Community College.

11:58

You don't know what to do with that either, dude. You come

12:01

join our a V club. You two young industrious

12:04

there's a space for you with Sackles. Don't

12:07

you come in this direction. I am

12:09

disappointed in them. If you're gonna take

12:11

it, don't tell people stuff. How

12:13

is it gonna learn to use the cameras? I'll tell you this

12:15

much. When I go to Memphis to do a show, I'm calling

12:17

Muthie. I know you

12:23

better not that

12:25

kid gonna work hard for you. Roy, he go hit

12:28

you back on Twitter like how do I use

12:30

this? What

12:35

if I harm? And then the motherfucker's

12:37

still my microphone or

12:41

your cell phone? We have to run after your cell

12:43

phone? Worst

12:47

and first time, Oh my gosh.

12:50

And it's a pleasure to have this person

12:52

on the show. They have a wonderful

12:55

wonderful comedy specialists coming up,

12:57

Phone Comedy Central,

13:00

IM, Paramount Plus and all of the wonderful

13:02

wonderful streaming sites. J

13:04

G. Who do we have on the line. We have

13:06

Jeff done him. But you said he's

13:09

alone. It doesn't look like he's alone.

13:13

He's got Walter. Wonderful. Thanks,

13:17

good to see. I don't know Iff actually get part of

13:19

this because I heard what you were going to talk about. Ye'll

13:22

be fine, Okay, good, I don't care. Award

13:25

winning and nationally

13:27

globally touring comedian

13:30

and ventriloquist Jeff Donham, welcome to the job.

13:32

There open for you. Man.

13:36

It's like O two comedy catch. This is and

13:40

this is how you know I'm telling the truth. These

13:42

the early years of you selling the Walter

13:45

Dolls, and you sold out

13:47

second show Friday night, and you still had

13:49

two more nights in town. It was like I

13:51

didn't know that they were going to biologies. I just brought

13:53

a couple to see how I would go. People.

13:56

What was it? Where was it? This was Chattanooga,

13:59

the comedy catch. Shout out Michael Alfano.

14:02

Man, Wow, that was a long time

14:04

ago. You remembers

14:06

with a hundred seats anymore? Okay. So when

14:08

I was headlining, they would always give me the nicer hotel.

14:11

There's no nicer hotel. Before

14:16

we get into your early days

14:19

in Ventriloquism. Let's talk for a

14:21

second first about the special Me the People

14:23

November Comedy Central. If you're

14:25

hearing this after November's on the Paramount

14:28

plus, app to Comedy Central app to

14:30

me. Ventriloquism is interesting in that you're

14:32

essentially writing a two person show, but you have multiple

14:36

what is the word I don't want to get canceled up?

14:47

When you were creating this act,

14:50

how difficult is it to keep coming

14:52

up with basically an ensemble

14:55

conversation that's constantly happening

14:57

on stage right. And by the way, this is the eleventh

15:00

special, so uh, I

15:02

don't know, I don't know how many you know.

15:04

I've looked back and and um uh.

15:07

The only record albums that my mom would let

15:09

me have when I was a kid was Bill Cosby

15:12

because he was clean. And so that's the only

15:14

that's the only exposure I had to stand up comedy

15:16

until whatever age. And I

15:19

know that he had a just I

15:22

think he was number one with the number of comedy

15:24

albums of any comedian, number

15:27

one. And so I've still been

15:29

trying to get my people to figure out who

15:31

has the most stand up specials. So

15:35

anyway, Um, I

15:37

think I'm getting there. I'm not. That's that's

15:39

a belt I think you could get. I know Carlin

15:42

had HBOS.

15:44

Oh he did. When Carlin

15:47

died, they sold a box set of all

15:49

of its HBO specials. Run is fun enough

15:51

for me, real quick? Because that one you're

15:55

close, Roy, you know what, that's funny.

15:57

All these people that I pay all these percentages

15:59

to, nobody could come up with that answer. Oh

16:02

my god, So

16:06

take us then, you know, this is the part of show we talked

16:08

about worst jobs and first jobs. I'm putting

16:10

wolver down here. Why a

16:17

second? I just this is way a much more

16:19

interesting conversation than I usually have. Okay,

16:24

the relationship, but I'll tell you a

16:26

story and then you explain to me your process. So

16:29

I opened for ventriloquists

16:32

early on in my career, and this is in the days

16:34

as a road comedian, where as an opener, generally

16:37

your jobs to drive around the headliner

16:39

because we're doing four cities in five days. And

16:42

this particular ventriloquist, as I

16:44

know, I did not have a driver's license. I don't

16:46

know why he didn't have it. Whatever it was, he

16:48

needed me to pick him up and drive him everywhere, and

16:52

he had his wouldn't

16:54

have trying

16:57

to. He

17:00

had is petrified American in

17:02

the front. And we

17:05

stopped in Wisconsin. We're

17:07

headed up to Appleton to play Skyline,

17:09

and we're doing a run up there, and

17:13

we stopped to eat and

17:15

when we go in, he goes to the trunk of

17:17

my car and pulls out the dummy and brings it

17:19

into the restaurant with us and asks for a

17:22

table for three and not to And

17:24

I have to sit with this ventriloquist across

17:27

from his dummy. And I'm just an opener

17:29

and this guy could have me fired. So I can't

17:31

say ship about this. I just gotta let

17:33

the ship roll. The waitress is looking at us weird.

17:36

But what he explained to me was

17:38

I have to have a relationship with him at

17:41

all times so that on stage

17:43

becomes second nature. What

17:46

is your process? Jeff Dunham still

17:50

alive. Yes, he

17:53

is divorced. He drinks a lot more skill

17:57

touring. I'm not here to talk about

18:00

him and his brand, but that

18:02

was a lot for a young twenty year

18:04

old to take

18:07

in a Wednesday

18:09

in Wisconsin. How do you build

18:11

a relationship Because I know also that

18:14

you build all of your all

18:16

of your dumb as you build them, you have a full shop you

18:18

invested in basically

18:20

birthing all of these. I've

18:23

been building them for years, so you

18:26

know, it is something that

18:30

the acting is a lot of a lot of this. And

18:32

I love what I do more than straight monology

18:35

because I can create tension and conflict,

18:38

the two most important ingredients in comedy.

18:41

Because the character and I can

18:43

have a you know, an argument, or

18:45

we can have a difference, or we can have you

18:48

know, we can discuss topics that

18:50

are tough to discuss or talk tough

18:52

to talk about as a straight monologist without giving

18:55

opinions or you know. So um

18:58

That's what I love about what I do is that it is

19:00

a discussion. It's a little sitcomm and

19:03

on itself sitting there on stage. So

19:06

I think that's the reason this cancel culture

19:08

that we have. I'm able to um

19:12

uh talk about those subjects because if

19:14

there's one side of it that I give the dumb, you'll give the other

19:16

and vice versa. Um And let

19:18

me let me say my little speech here. This

19:21

cancel business is just I think it's

19:23

just garbage. And I we all we've all learned a lot.

19:25

We know what we can and can't joke about. Um

19:29

uh. But I also

19:31

think that this country is a lot, people

19:34

in it are a lot have a better sense

19:36

of humor than what the media is saying

19:38

that we do. I think people have learned

19:41

to. I think that people can tell

19:43

a joke and take a joke and um.

19:46

When it comes to politics, I think the mistake

19:48

that a lot of guys are making is that

19:51

they pick a side and then

19:53

they hammer the other side and called them

19:56

both sides do it and call the other side idiots

19:58

and morons. And that's not comedy to pep

20:00

rally. So um,

20:02

I try and go back to the days of Will Roger,

20:05

Bob Hope, Carson Leno, and

20:07

you never knew which side they were actually

20:09

on. And they made

20:11

fun of the guy that was at the top, the guy on the pedestals,

20:14

and one that's gonna get hit with the tomatoes the most. So

20:17

that's who they made fun of. And that's what

20:19

I try to do. When Trump was in office, I had a hell of a lot

20:21

of fun with that, And now Biden's in office. In

20:24

this special, you know, he dressed

20:26

up his Trump and in my other in much of my YouTube

20:29

videos, and now in this special he's dressed up like Biden

20:31

and we have fun with that. But I think people

20:33

from both sides of the aisle can come to the show and have

20:35

fun because it's not mean spirited. It's

20:37

just making making fun of some of the goofy stuff

20:39

that's going on right now. What I

20:42

find interesting about your acting some of the puppets

20:44

that you have is that they covered

20:47

the gamut of stuff. Like I wonder

20:49

if the fact that what you're saying is also through

20:52

a puppet, through a dummy that gets

20:55

that takes the edge off of that. Takes the edge off

20:57

of it a little bit, because if you, Jeff

20:59

Dunn, did an impression of a black pimp,

21:02

people would wait, do

21:04

you know what you're talking about there? But you bring

21:06

out sweet Daddy d Okay,

21:10

I'm making sure, But let me can I tell you the story I

21:12

had that game happen. Okay, So when

21:15

um, I was wanting

21:17

to make fun of prejudice, and this was back

21:20

in I guess my first special

21:22

was yeah, yeah,

21:24

arguing with myself. Oh five was five,

21:27

I think, and I was wanting to make fun of prejudice

21:29

and I thought to me, it would be really funny

21:32

if I had a black character

21:35

that was above me somehow. So

21:37

we start out in the right place. So I made it dynamic

21:40

manager, right, and so then I thought,

21:43

okay, what is what? What is he though? And

21:45

I honestly I researched

21:47

this as much as I could, and somehow

21:50

I looked at I'm so out of my lane

21:52

here talking about this with you guys. But I hope you

21:54

understand you're in the right lane. Bro, come

21:56

on you right, Maybe

21:59

it's the wrong vehicle in the right lane. I don't

22:01

know, no, believe it or not. This is actually

22:04

something um if I couldn't be honest

22:06

Roy, and you know does usually stop me. But this is something

22:08

we actually talked about before you came on, because this is

22:10

something that we were concerned about how

22:12

you managed. So I'm all the

22:14

way in and you gotta

22:16

talking hall openo. You have all

22:19

that stuff. The fact that you've brought that up early to

22:21

me, it's beautiful. I want to hear this well,

22:23

the acmment, the terry, that's the whole diferent

22:25

thing. I could talk about that all day long. But

22:27

with sweet Daddy d what I was trying to do was trying

22:30

to, you know, uh, create

22:32

a character that I could use on stage that could

22:35

make fun of me being this is I'm

22:38

as white as it can possibly be. I'm not this

22:40

color. I'm this color I've

22:44

been doing to TV all morning, right, So

22:46

um. I then and this still

22:49

confounds me, confuses me. I looked

22:51

to a bunch of different uh

22:54

uh celebrities, Black

22:57

celebrities, architantial Snoop

22:59

Dogg was was one of them, and

23:01

everybody kept talking about the pimp

23:04

and how revered the pimp

23:06

was. And again the reasons came out of my lad because

23:09

I don't know what I'm talking about, right, But oh five,

23:11

that's Bishop Magic don Juan, and that's

23:17

the documentaries all came out that year. It was

23:19

a lot of stuff that guy standpoint. I can

23:21

see where that was. Yeah, okay,

23:23

so that's what everybody told me. And then

23:25

I found a couple of black

23:28

stand ups and I said, please

23:31

help me with these jokes. Well, tell

23:33

me, what are the jokes about white people that

23:36

you don't tell when we're not around? And

23:39

I could not. I couldn't squeeze

23:41

blood out of a turn up. Nobody they wouldn't.

23:43

I don't know what it was nobody would tell me a white joke.

23:46

You know, it's not a white joke. White

23:48

joke. Just look, man, I'm

23:50

gonna do you a favor and let you know right now, if you ever

23:53

ever ever have that question again,

23:55

find me brother. So

23:58

you all the white people jokes I have that

24:01

I'd say with no white people around me at

24:03

all. But please continue. I just want to please

24:06

tell me the best one. Please just

24:08

tell me that. I don't care, and let's

24:11

see. But the thing about the thing about it is, at the end of

24:13

the day, most of the black most

24:15

of the time that we make fun of white folks.

24:17

Why all around is very basic things like dancing,

24:20

very easy to jump on that when there's no words

24:22

that need to be said. A lot of times, a lot of

24:24

times, you know, you could just look at me like, okay, that that one

24:26

right there he needs out by the way, when I sculpted

24:29

him. This is a funny story. So what's the

24:31

guy's name, the black

24:33

actor that was in all the I'm so horrible with

24:35

names. Uh, the crazy

24:38

guy, the skinny one, Chris Tucker,

24:40

Chris Tucker Tucker. So um,

24:43

he lived like six houses down for me when

24:46

I was creating Sweet Daddy d I got

24:48

all eight by tens of all

24:50

my favorite of faces

24:52

I do with every character of all the favorite black actors

24:55

that I loved or comedians, and I created

24:58

eight by tens of all of them were like Tim Eyes,

25:00

and I put him all across my work bench and

25:03

in my work bench was in my garage. I had my garage

25:06

door over and Chris Tucker comes down on his uh

25:08

segue, he got a new segue and

25:11

he comes up my driveway. I see him coming. I'm like, oh,

25:13

ship, there's no explain So

25:18

I exactly

25:23

I shut the garage door, like, hey, I'm

25:27

just in here looking at black people. That's it's fine,

25:29

Chris, don't you worry about it. Exactly right.

25:32

So anyway, so that was that was

25:34

into that. But I I love having this

25:36

conversation because it's bothered me for a long long

25:38

time that I could not make that work. I'll tell you that was the

25:40

reason didn't work for me. It's the same reason the female

25:42

character would won't work for me. It's because when

25:45

it would come to add libbing, you

25:48

know, carry on a conversation, I couldn't get

25:50

it right. I can think like a white trash guy, Bubba

25:52

J. I can think like Peanut, that little crazy purple

25:54

guy. I can think like most of the other characters.

25:56

Even a dead terrorist. I get it because he's just angry

25:59

of the world. But when it came to being

26:01

a woman or a black person, I

26:04

had no clue. Given

26:06

instance, if somebody asked the character a question,

26:09

I wouldn't know what to say as a or

26:11

a black guy. So it's like, this is not fun

26:14

for me. I can't do it. I respect that.

26:18

Before we go to break, I want to just talk real quick, because

26:21

you're interested in that. You chose your career very

26:24

early on, like elementary, early on, you

26:26

knew I think it was third or fourth grade, that

26:28

this is what you wanted to do. For parents

26:31

out there who have a child in

26:33

that same age range, how were

26:36

your parents supportive or were they

26:38

against you during ventriloquism,

26:40

because I told my mom about stand Up when I was nineteen,

26:42

and she was like, you third

26:45

fourth grade told your parents what you

26:47

wanted to do. How did your parents

26:50

pour into you to help make your job? The

26:52

first kind of is that I was adopted

26:54

and uh an only child, so that sent

26:57

me apart a little bit from most the other kids.

26:59

The other thing was I I was I was terrible at sports.

27:01

I was not popular with the girls, I was not popular

27:03

with other kids. I didn't have anything going for me.

27:06

It was no good, no sports, forget. So

27:09

I got this dummy for Christmas one year and

27:11

I started learning how to do ventriloquism.

27:13

I did my first little book report in the third grade

27:15

and then I made fun of my classmates a little bit and

27:18

it was like, wow, I got some laughs. This is

27:20

fun and that's it. Yeah,

27:23

that was the drug I couldn't let go. Well, after

27:26

the break, we'll let j G flirt with Walter

27:29

and I want to hear that I wanted to scams

27:32

as well, and the homing right away, k Rod

27:34

for sure to come on like he always does a drive show off

27:36

the rails. It's a job fair. We'll be right back, job

27:46

fair, Jeff dunh. I'm standing by for scam

27:49

of a week. But before we do all of that,

27:51

it's time to slow it down. And this

27:55

is the part of the show that that

27:57

I love. And surprisingly, the Legal Apartment

28:02

doesn't really seem to have a problem with fans.

28:06

Very shocked, but nonetheless

28:09

it is a central part of the program. If

28:11

you're new to the show, we called this segment breaking

28:13

the Ice, where we give you the job, fair listener,

28:17

a couple of topics to bring up at the job.

28:19

But motherfucker's you king stand and you're tired

28:21

of talking to They've told you every little mundane

28:24

detail about their life, and it's

28:27

about that time of year where they're showing you pictures

28:29

of their dog and stupid holiday sweaters.

28:33

See that ship. I do give

28:36

you a couple of topics to characters,

28:39

help them to get him the funk up off you to help us do

28:41

that, we call in and Gentleman was an international

28:43

man of leisure. And here's

28:46

the author of the New York Times bestseller How to

28:48

Bring Your Jewish Boom to Your

28:50

Quans, Undefeated,

28:56

and Pregnancy Scares with the record of forty three

28:58

oh and two. He is the uncredited

29:01

inventor of the

29:03

Hobo fruit salad, peach whiskey, and was

29:06

it Cherry Cooke's

29:10

MoMA named Murado. We call them ride for

29:12

a short rode. I

29:14

guess we can officially say happy Holidays to

29:17

you. Is the flood gates have opened. Christmas

29:20

season and Thanksgiving season and all

29:23

of that good ship. Are you a Black Friday

29:25

shopper? Are you one of those people? You don't

29:27

strike me as a fall in line with commerce,

29:30

And I don't

29:32

like crowds, so I don't really

29:35

like being out there and all that kind of ship, but

29:38

not even online, Like you're not one of them people looking

29:40

for the next deal or do you just like nah,

29:45

here's a question Rode for the fellas,

29:48

and we could save this for relationship fairing

29:50

a couple of weeks Sidebar Royce job fair

29:52

at gmail dot com. If you've got some workplace

29:54

drama involving romance

29:56

that you want us to help sort out or that you've seen,

29:59

please reach out to the show so we can get you on

30:01

and get you on the right. Before we get

30:03

into your segment, what advice would

30:06

you have? Two men that are trying to get

30:08

women to buy them expensive gifts? How

30:10

do we go about doing that? That's

30:13

really only one way to do that, and

30:15

that's to not be a lame nigger. Um,

30:19

if you lame, if

30:22

your whack heads nigger, you ain't gonna get no expensive

30:24

gifts. That's just how it is. You want expensive

30:26

gifts for a woman? Uh, you

30:29

gotta be something special. If

30:31

you're not getting expensive gifts, then that should

30:33

let you know how much of a regular assnagga

30:35

you are. Also,

30:40

I would like to come down on the side of

30:42

pineapple in banana puttings.

30:49

Fine, fine,

30:52

I love I love that you've

30:55

had that

30:58

sounded like a freestyle. This is something that really

31:00

happens to banana putting. Yeah, I've never ever

31:02

heard. I've never heard of banana pudding being freestyled

31:05

like girl in banana.

31:07

I've heard of strawberries in

31:10

banana. It's getting but

31:12

it's like dressing, like cheesecake, like on top, not

31:14

like it

31:22

sounds right because it's super good. This

31:24

lady at my dad's job did it

31:26

the first time, a white

31:29

lady name Susan. I remember

31:31

her, and I was like, why Susan,

31:33

why was

31:35

up? And then my cousin went in.

31:38

Did that because I got turned

31:40

onto the new ship. That doesn't seem right. But it also

31:42

goes against Jacqueline's rule, right, But she

31:44

said, if you'reen making it the same way, but last

31:47

year, you gotta make it the same way every year. You

31:49

can't come and throw some new ship in the mixture

31:51

because you watched you know what I'm saying, Kelly Clarkson,

31:53

do it. Yeah, you gotta bring it to the table. You know what

31:55

I'm saying. She ain't about that life. It's kind of

31:57

like when you have ham in the car, whole

32:02

slices of pineapple in there. It's

32:04

like menistry. It's like it's almost blended

32:07

in. It's just the most just a little gets

32:09

a little like everybody has

32:12

like like two strands, like

32:14

a hair strand or sucking found up and

32:16

that's good. Now it's nuts. I'm

32:20

not talking to you. We bring right

32:22

on this program, begin topics to break the ice

32:24

ride. Turn it over to you, good

32:27

sir, Black people. This holiday

32:29

season, we've got something

32:31

great going on. We might want to get

32:33

Draymond Grid and Jordan Pool to check

32:36

this out. Uh. In nineteen seven,

32:39

Mike Tyson was in a

32:41

boxing match with the Vander holy Field

32:44

and he bit his ear twice.

32:47

The Tyson been a part of holy Field's

32:49

here off and UH it was disqualified.

32:52

It's pretty much effectively at the end of Mike Tyson's

32:55

boxing career. But five

32:57

years later, Mike Tyson,

33:00

who was a big time cannabis

33:02

user and he has his own company, he

33:05

ain't invod the holy Field a partnering

33:07

to release Holy Ears. We've

33:10

got me shaped like Ears is

33:13

brilliant. These

33:16

brothers have come back to the table and

33:18

they've become good friends, and

33:21

now they could both laugh at it all these years

33:24

later. If you remember that fight, check

33:26

it out on YouTube. Was something only laughing

33:28

when this ship happened twenty five years ago. He

33:31

was not laughing at all when it happened. That

33:34

was as far as sports beasts,

33:36

God, that was one of the more serious

33:39

ones. It was one of the craziest things I ever seen in sports,

33:42

like those two coming together. Oh my

33:44

god, I'm looking at the picture. Thank you, Rhonda. Wait,

33:47

right, you didn't say that the gummy was shaped like Holy

33:49

Fields. You

33:54

just said ear shaped. I thought just an ear,

33:56

but no, there's a distinct like the mold

33:59

to make this gun. Yeah here,

34:02

Oh yeah, it was brilliant

34:04

and right and my wrong brother? Or

34:07

did it? Did Tyson say something like if

34:09

he would have been on cannabis, he wouldn't have been

34:11

off the ear, And he said something if

34:13

he was on cannabis, he wouldn't have been off like

34:15

he said several times. If he was doing much

34:18

rooms and things like that. Back then, like he

34:20

is now net com.

34:22

That was a marketing talking point. Okay,

34:25

yeah, whatever, No, he's

34:29

head in a while. Yeah yeah. He talks about

34:31

therapy and meditation, and you know, Tyson

34:33

is a very cerebral Later he's

34:36

been smoking weed, going to therapy, doing much

34:38

rooms and ship. The dude has got himself together.

34:41

Man, it's a beautiful He beat Jacqueline.

34:43

Mike Tyson be crying on camera at least three

34:46

times a year, and some interview he cried. I

34:49

loved his podcast because he cries

34:52

hot boxing, and it's always

34:54

after like saying, some of the weirdest

34:57

ship on the face of the planet. You

35:00

go off on a deep hand, just

35:02

be wild, like talking

35:04

about fruit or something that, like, yeah I like peaches,

35:07

Yeah I don't really like peaches. I like plums. And

35:09

then Mike Typsons are just busted, like what

35:12

if what if peaches and plums

35:14

taste so sour to you sometimes because

35:17

we're all unworthy of the love of God.

35:20

And then you'll just start you

35:25

will just take a left turn. And it's

35:28

his podcast. You ain't gonna tell him up

35:32

up anyway. It's Mike Tyson. Want

35:34

to say stone or sober? Say what you want

35:36

to say, Mike, all right, let's flip it

35:38

up for the on the other side,

35:40

for white people. This is another call back to stuff

35:42

that we talked about before. Several

35:45

times. We keep trying to get Roy these

35:47

different jobs hosted shows, and

35:50

I really wish they would have let you host

35:52

Jeopardy because maybe this wouldn't have happened. Recently,

35:57

on an episode of Celebrity

35:59

did Efferty there

36:02

was a clue given and it was

36:04

one of those classics. I don't know how this made

36:06

it through, you know, all the avenues

36:09

they had to go through, but everybody involved should

36:11

be fired. The

36:13

answer to this clue

36:16

was what are alligators? The

36:19

question was what in one

36:22

hugely if Brian Laundry ended

36:24

his days in Florida's Maya

36:26

Catchy Creek area home to

36:29

these long and toothie critters,

36:31

what how that Brian

36:34

Laundry who is infamous

36:37

for committing suicide in that creek

36:39

after him and his girlfriend gave

36:42

me petito with on the Inquest trip

36:44

in the summer twitter twenty one, and

36:46

he murdered that girl and Jeff

36:49

This was the man's a clue to

36:51

get a motherfucker to say alligators? You

36:54

know, what I felt about Jeopardy for a long time is

36:56

that the questions have caught up to

36:58

present day. I remember up watching Jeopardy

37:01

and every answer was from the eighteen fifties

37:03

or earlier. Yeah, yeah,

37:06

I watched Jeofardy. Now I'd be like, should I might

37:09

go win this bit? I didn't get question

37:13

watching that. What do you mean why are

37:15

we watching? We're not watching

37:18

Jeopardy because they didn't have LeVar

37:20

Burden that they didn't hire Roy

37:22

Wood Jr. I'm not They told

37:24

you in the email they wasn't hiring no comedian.

37:27

They said as a genre. That's

37:32

what they told my agent. They said comedians

37:34

would drive the show away from I

37:36

don't remember I've read it. So

37:39

they said comedians will drive the show away

37:41

from the intellectual side. And then

37:43

they let Blossom go and this motherfu thank

37:46

you killer who commit No,

37:50

no, no, there's Jeffardy time TMZ

37:53

brother for the questions. You know what I'm saying, We're not

37:55

gonna put that on me. By leak,

38:00

she rather she ain't. She

38:02

ain't looking at them questions before she go out

38:04

there anymore. To Steve Harvey, know what happened?

38:07

Intellectual She is definitely looking at how

38:10

that made it through y'all crazy.

38:12

Yeah, the channels, the

38:15

chain of command, but they should have been shut

38:17

that out immediately. This

38:22

one that is insane. I

38:24

know that Jeopardy has to remain fresh

38:27

and young, and I think that quiz shows

38:29

are only as good as the viewer

38:31

thinks that they could win. That's why

38:34

Willtle Fortune is still on the air. Because you sit at home

38:36

and I'm smarter than their mother. I should

38:38

be on the show. So you need that element

38:41

of I know, what the hell? But I

38:43

think in some regards maybe

38:45

Jeopardy is skewed a little too current.

38:48

But adding crime to the mixture, I

38:50

don't think that's it. That both Gabo

38:53

and Brian Lodger's family said this ship was

38:55

outrageous, I don't

38:57

understand that's work so

39:00

many ways to get haligators. What the hell were

39:02

they thinking? New England

39:04

patriots Tighty and Aaron Hernandez

39:08

murdered Odin Lloyd in this hamlet

39:11

just outside the capital of Rhode

39:13

Island. What

39:17

it is? Providence? It's

39:21

insane and so ends

39:23

like they could have just said, what the fun is

39:25

the capital of Rhode Island? Everybody

39:30

in their head to be on cocaine for that question.

39:32

To make it to the name show it,

39:37

MoMA named Rodo. We called him Rod

39:39

for short. The podcast is Uncle Rod's

39:41

Story Corner. Rod. We bat

39:43

you a happy holidays and we will leave you

39:46

to your banana pudding with blueberries

39:48

inside of kind. But

39:51

I'm telling you check it out before you dis

39:53

is, and I promise you you're gonna go. That's the only

39:55

way you're either from that. Stop

39:58

moving people in a bad direct in

40:00

their lives. You

40:03

said again, I'm gonna say exactly what I'm thinking right

40:05

now. Thank

40:10

you. As always, Rod, I think uh

40:13

scam of a week time. We welcome Jeff

40:15

Dunham back to the program. Jeff, do you

40:17

like pineapples and your banapples? Oh

40:20

my gosh, what, Jeff,

40:22

have you heard of this? You're from Texas? Yeah?

40:26

What about it? Pineapples? And apparently

40:29

at Jacquelin's Thanksgiving get together, she

40:31

has family members who hate her and they put pineapples

40:36

and what bananas

40:39

with pineapples in

40:41

a sound? Jeff,

40:43

let it go in pudding

40:47

in putting pineapples,

40:50

okay, bananas, okay, pineapples

40:54

in putting. That's not right.

40:56

Thank you. We

40:59

welcome back on the program. Jeff

41:01

Dunham. His comedy

41:03

special premiers November twenty

41:06

five. Jeff Dunham me the people

41:08

on Comedy Central after that, or to be on the Paramount

41:10

Plus app also with Jeff Now the

41:13

homie Walter. I'm sorry I had to

41:15

come back to this story about the the

41:18

screw to the comedy club. J

41:20

G. Do you have any questions for Walter real quick?

41:22

Before we get into this, I knew,

41:25

I'm just curious, Walter, could

41:27

Jeff really build me out like

41:30

a shelf, because he's obviously

41:32

good at building things. Could

41:35

you build a shelf? Yeah? Yeah, that The weird part is

41:37

it would talk. Okay,

41:42

So let me tell you this story real quick. Yeah, yeah,

41:45

okay. So there's a comedy club that the show Go Nameless.

41:48

But it was in Boston, and uh, it

41:50

was on top of Faniel Hall.

41:53

You know what I'm talking about, the food hall.

41:55

Yeah, down to yeah, Vannel Hall.

41:57

And this place seated um

42:00

easily five people. And I know

42:03

that because we were selling out

42:05

and every night, and I went

42:07

to the owner and I said, so, how many were getting here

42:09

in here every night? And he goes, we have three fifty

42:12

you're selling out. I'm like, okay,

42:14

there's there's more than five three fifty

42:16

seats in here. I think there's about five hundred

42:18

seats and he goes, oh, no, no, he goes,

42:21

well, no, there's not that many. I said, okay. Then

42:23

the next day I went back and I went I counted

42:25

the seats. There's five hundred seats in here, and he goes,

42:28

you did. I go, yeah, it's five almost exactly

42:30

sat. And he goes, well, we don't. You know, you can't

42:33

put you know, you got a three people come in and you

42:35

got a four top. There's no way we we

42:37

sell all those seats. I'm like, I

42:39

don't see an empty seat in the house. You're ripping

42:41

me off. He goes, no, there's no way. And this is like the

42:44

fifth time I've been there. So

42:46

I'm on stage on Saturday

42:49

night, you know, first show, completely

42:51

sold out, and I get through my you

42:53

know, supposed to do an hour. I get through fifty five minutes.

42:55

I said, folks, we've had a great time or not? And yeah,

42:57

I want you to do me a favor. We have a little

43:00

discrepancy of how many people are here tonight. I want

43:02

you to be honest about this. We're gonna count off

43:04

one at a time. Only

43:06

say one number. Only say one

43:09

number, one at a time. I'm just curious

43:11

of how many of you are in here. Will you

43:13

help me out? So

43:15

that room number one

43:17

at a time. The owner in the back of

43:20

the club, I think at he's a good friend

43:22

of mine. He goes, what is he doing? He goes, and and Gary

43:24

goes, he's counting off the room. So

43:28

we got to four hundred and ninety

43:31

eight. Oh yeah.

43:33

And so he's like, you can't tell anybody this because then

43:35

all the other communities are gonna know. I'm like, you

43:37

know, and so he wanted to pay me. I

43:39

don't know, but I was honest. I had to go back and

43:42

tell my agents, and yeah, he

43:44

hated me for many years after that. Club

43:46

owners will do slitch it two. They'll say

43:48

it sold out, then they'll bring in club. I'll say

43:51

this openly. It's a club in San Diego where once

43:53

you get on stage, they bring empty chairs

43:55

and from the bar to put in the room to make it look

43:57

like you didn't sell out. Oh. I used

44:00

it got to where I was taken. When digital

44:02

cameras came out, I would go into the top

44:04

of the balcony and take pictures of the room

44:07

and then start counting off like on a piece

44:09

of paper, and I would get in screaming arguments.

44:12

Oh on Sundays it was just hopefully

44:14

this nice guy I was not nice when up

44:18

right and left. I'll tell you one but one club did.

44:20

They said, okay, okay, okay, okay, look

44:23

here's the computer print out. I go, which a lie? He

44:25

goes, They the computer can't lying. I go, you're

44:27

lying. He goes, okay, okay, we

44:29

have two sets of numbers. And

44:32

then they would pay me the one check for

44:34

what was on the computer and then give me cash

44:37

for what was off the books, cooking

44:41

the books, running game. I

44:43

know you have to go, brother Dunham. I have a final

44:46

question for you with regards

44:48

to the respect for your craft

44:51

within the scope of performance and stand

44:53

up comedy. You are to

44:56

me like, there's there's this thing where ventriloquism

44:58

is always treated as this annex of

45:01

stand up for a while, kind of like

45:03

the way they try to do piano acts or

45:06

i'd say Penn and Teller. Early

45:09

early on, we're like, oh, you're in the magician

45:11

wing or you're over there. But I feel

45:14

like you transcended that into this

45:16

bigger, just straight up comedian. When people talk

45:18

about stand up comedy, your name is associated

45:21

with stand up comedy, not vitriloquism. How

45:23

much disrespect that you deal with early

45:26

on? And did that ever change

45:28

and do you think that has changed for

45:31

young ventriloquist I've met a couple on

45:33

the road when I'm at doing stuff

45:35

with the Daily Show, I meet young kids and

45:37

you know, they bring you up. They bring up Willie Tyler

45:39

and Lester who have we mentioned on this show before. Like,

45:44

what was the respect like early on for you?

45:48

What what is it now for them? Do they say that they

45:50

don't get disrespector is it still

45:52

there? It seems like the younger womens

45:55

have a harder time getting stage time because the clubs

45:57

don't respect them. They look at it as a stick

46:00

but instead of looking at it. I think that

46:02

Ventrolak was much like magicians and people

46:04

who do hybrid forms with stand up, they have to

46:06

find their own spaces to create and grow

46:08

and then migrate back there

46:11

was it was. It was really tough.

46:13

I mean, even when I was the

46:15

headlining act, you know, I'd find epitaphs

46:18

written on the wall, like I got Stand

46:20

Up Comedy the Year in ninety seven, and man

46:22

did people hate that. But there were club owners.

46:25

That was club owners voting on the comics, and

46:27

whoever was selling tickets is who they nominate.

46:30

But no, yeah, it was it was tough,

46:32

especially moved out to Los Angeles and and

46:35

uh, you know, I'd be up on stage and you

46:37

know, I was always the middle act and and forget

46:40

about Melrose man, that's a tough house

46:42

for somebody like me to play. Um

46:45

uh the improv. But uh,

46:47

yeah, it was tough. And and I

46:50

still have letters, rejection letters from comedy.

46:53

Now you won't be our headliner. We can make them our middle act

46:55

and pay them, you know, two and fifty bucks for the week. Okay,

46:59

So it was a while it and it took a long time.

47:01

And I appreciate very much what you said, roy I. I

47:04

don't take any of this for granted at all. Um.

47:07

Uh, just some great audiences and some good

47:10

people along the way that have been at the right place

47:12

at the right time and help me out. So um,

47:15

you know, uh, it was tough.

47:17

And now it's it's it's more fun, but it

47:19

is. I think it's a little bit more difficult now

47:21

because you come out with one album and

47:24

you got to come out with your next album and it better

47:26

be as good as your last one. Uh,

47:29

you know, with all those specials, that's a boatload

47:31

of material and uh it's uh, you

47:34

know, it's good and it's good and bad, but it's

47:36

great. Of all the people that travel

47:38

with you, how much do they weigh collectively?

47:41

And how much does Walter weigh? For

47:45

Walter a

47:47

grandmother who's single. Thank you, that's

47:50

great. I have no idea what

47:52

their weight is. You know, I have no idea. You

47:59

bad, Yeah, you

48:03

know. I don't like commercial.

48:06

Excuse me, excuse

48:11

me, excuse me. There's

48:14

a there's a good reason for that. There's no way

48:16

that we could do the schedule that we do and

48:18

the dates that we play if if I flew

48:20

commercial, because all the dummies and all the crap.

48:22

I mean, I have trunks and everything,

48:25

but our production is pretty vague. I mean, we have we

48:27

have to eighteen wheelers. We have two tour bucks

48:30

for the crew, and it's a rock and roll show,

48:32

so we carry all our own lights and sound

48:35

and video and audio and all that stuff.

48:37

So but you know what I

48:39

want to call this the New Inflation Tour because we've

48:42

kept my tickets down in price so everybody

48:44

can enjoy it. I don't understand the Taylor Swift thing.

48:46

She's worth and worth what a half a billion dollars?

48:48

Why charging eight hundred and fifty bucks a ticket?

48:50

You can't have my sings you.

48:54

So we've kept my tickets at fifties, sixties, sixty

48:56

five bucks, seventy bucks, and a lot of other comics

48:59

are within play and raising them up and raising them up.

49:01

But I'm just I just believe in the McDonald's

49:03

approach. You keep it inexpensive and you'll get more

49:06

people, and you'll make it up in volume. This

49:09

is the eleventh special, premier November

49:11

twenty five, and meet the people. We look forward to Special

49:14

twelve, thirteen, fifteen through

49:16

eighteen and Special number

49:18

twenty five. Thank you, sir. I'm

49:20

going to Hell. I'm good to Carlin's

49:22

collection very soon to see what I see.

49:24

How many numbers I gotta go to. I know it's more

49:27

than eleven, but I think it's

49:29

more than thirteen or fourteen. I think

49:32

I'm pretty sure you're

49:36

in carlin territory, brother, and I love

49:38

you, and I appreciate everything

49:40

you've been doing. Thank you very much, Jeff Donald

49:42

for thank you. Guys'

49:45

learning learning

49:48

about to ask him, does Walter to have some meat?

49:50

Do you make way invited to Thanksgiving?

49:53

Danil walt to I'm just saying, I

49:56

just want to hear some white jokes at some point, please,

49:59

oh man. Yeah, we refuse

50:01

to some episodes that you can listen to it. We definitely have some

50:03

white people jokes. That'd be great. I

50:05

would love that. You

50:08

know, we do our white people allergies. We all did you do

50:10

on the ride? No, we don't have time.

50:16

Three, thank you. Right

50:20

after the break, we are going to talk

50:23

with a wonderful, wonderful brother. You

50:25

know those jokes. But let's get into a little

50:27

bit of danger. A guy who you

50:30

see all the reporters that be out there

50:32

in the war torn areas getting shot at. He's

50:35

the liaison who gets him there. We're gonna

50:38

let Brian after the break. It's the job Fair.

50:40

We'll be right back. Job

50:48

Fair round and third hit it

50:50

for Home. You know, by the government

50:52

isn't seen as a sexy job. It's because like

50:55

you haven't met somebody work for the government, Like they're just so

50:58

chill like nobody's yeah.

51:01

But the people who have good government jobs,

51:03

they don't say ship because they don't want you to know

51:05

about them, because they're trying to keep all the good

51:07

jobs to themselves. It's an interesting

51:09

job because you know, as you

51:12

said earlier, j G, once you work for the

51:14

government, it's very hard to get fun. Absolutely,

51:17

you got to really be fucking

51:19

up, Like you gotta store a lot of cocaine on

51:22

your desk in the office. You

51:24

could be sleep at your desk. Sleep.

51:27

As long as you get worked on, they're not gonna firing.

51:30

Uh. So, let's go on down the Mississippi

51:33

and meet somebody down there in Mississippi.

51:36

I think it's only second person we've had from Mississippi

51:38

on the show. Well, dead

51:40

Buddy Sue. Yeah, dead

51:43

Boddy Sue through Mississippi. So

51:46

who do we have on the line? J G. We welcome

51:49

Silhol Servant Brian

51:52

to the show. Brian is based

51:54

in Long Beach, Mississippi, and

51:56

works as a public affairs officer

51:59

for the Department of Defense. Today,

52:01

he's going to talk to you Roy about

52:04

what it's like to be a communications

52:06

liaison between the government

52:09

and the general public, including his

52:11

experience dealing with the media

52:13

in Afghanistan and Iraq.

52:16

Hello, Brian, Hello, Hello,

52:19

Hey, I'm glad to be calling into

52:21

you from Mississippi. But I really

52:24

hate the fact that the only other person from Mississippi

52:27

that you've ever talked to was what a dead body? Sue?

52:29

Is that wonderful?

52:33

It's a scary name represented

52:36

Mississippi pretty well. She didn't

52:38

name herself that we called she.

52:41

She works around dead bodies and her name is Sue. So

52:43

we just combined the ship. Okay, still

52:45

a little scary. But before

52:50

we do anything else, man, tell us about your work.

52:53

Tell us about your job, podcast work.

52:55

So I understand you started

52:57

a podcast. Yeah, so, I mean it's a little

53:00

little personal side project that I do after

53:02

hours. Um, kind of have to say that so

53:04

the government doesn't say, hey, what's he doing on that? You really

53:06

do work for the government. Delig the

53:10

government, folks, I'm used to right there, right, Yeah,

53:12

I gotta gotta give my disclaimer in there.

53:15

Yeah, it's called it's called work Sucks. You can

53:17

find it on all of the major

53:19

podcast platforms um that are

53:21

out there and basically just interview somebody

53:24

every so often. Um, you know, whether it's

53:26

a bad boss, bad co workers, dealing

53:28

with Karen's, dealing with workplace

53:30

safety violations, all that kind of stuff. Correct

53:32

me if I'm wrong on this. Public affairs officer,

53:35

your job is to make sure that ship is

53:37

suite between the government and the public

53:39

and disseminating the message from the government

53:41

to the people in a way that's palpable and understandable

53:44

and easy to communicate only with the public

53:46

but also with other media outlets. Yeah,

53:49

that's that's a pretty good way to say that. So my

53:51

job on a daily basis is

53:54

I guess it's more like three to four parts,

53:56

is uh, the media relations and outreach

53:58

side. So um, there

54:01

are a lot of public affairs officers that

54:03

are that. You can either be proactive or reactive.

54:06

I happen to be a proactive one. I like to reach out

54:08

to our media outlets and and just

54:11

I don't just let them know what's going on, be transparent,

54:13

let them know that we're being good stewards of taxpayers

54:15

dollars, that we're not hiding things from

54:17

them. I just try to try to get the media on the base

54:19

as much as possible. Actually, I work at the Naval

54:22

Construction Battalion Center in Gulfport right now, Gulfport,

54:24

Mississippi. So it's a it's a pretty good

54:26

environment. But but the second part of my

54:28

job, besides the media relations, the second part of my

54:30

job is more like a community relations. We do

54:33

tours, We do speaking engagements from

54:35

anything from like civic organizations to like

54:37

schools, will go out to classrooms,

54:39

all that kind of stuff. So then it's not only

54:42

about delivering a message

54:45

for that that the Navy wants delivered

54:47

to the public, but also you know, piping

54:49

down any confusion that may have that

54:52

may have come from you know, misinformation.

54:55

What is it like doing

54:58

this job from a war zone or

55:00

from an area where that because you know isis

55:03

is always round the corner, right, Yeah. I

55:05

did a U. S O tour ine and

55:07

we literally third we could see the fire. This is

55:10

six months before they took Magnet read

55:12

an Apache helicopter base doing jokes and

55:14

you could see the smoking

55:16

ship coming up after like, dude, motherfucker's

55:19

is on the way. So when

55:21

you're working over that, when I

55:23

think about the jokes, I told those jokes weren't

55:25

even worth getting shot at four These

55:29

jokes I got no these jokes is worth. I

55:36

apologize to that Apache Helicopter

55:39

Italian. You know what, though, you

55:41

know what, Roy, I've been on

55:43

the receiving end of having a comedian come out

55:45

when I was in like the middle of just

55:48

the worst possible situation I

55:50

could think of. And then we have like a singer

55:52

or a comedian. I don't care if that singer couldn't

55:55

hold a tune in a bucket, I

55:57

still appreciated so much because

55:59

for for that five minutes they sang that song, I

56:02

got to think about something else besides

56:04

what was outside my gate. I had to escort

56:07

Meta out in the battlefield several times, and it

56:09

got harry a few times, and uh yeah,

56:12

but but you know the worst one

56:14

was Jamee's defense weekly. This this little tiny,

56:16

little wispy kind of British

56:18

lady, uh you know, not even a hundred

56:21

pounds, so can whip. And we got into a

56:23

big firefight and she

56:25

got down in the floorboard of our humby and and

56:27

just just screamed and cried the

56:30

whole time. And we I kept her safe and

56:32

we got out of there. Now we didn't. We lost some people,

56:34

but we we we got her out of there. My job was

56:36

to get the media out of there, and I got I got her out of

56:38

there safe, and I'm pretty

56:41

sure she she went home within

56:43

a week and quit being

56:45

a journalist. Side that didn't want to be a core foreign

56:47

correspondent anymore because it was so traumatic for

56:49

her. But she but she got an amazing

56:52

story out of it. She still told the story. She's

56:54

got an amazing story and said, no, my family

56:56

is too important. I can't risk it anymore. There's

56:59

a lot of corresponding that are losing their lives right

57:01

now, especially when we talk about what's happening

57:03

with Russian and Ukraine. Yeah, that's definitely foreign

57:06

journalists covering active conflict. It's

57:08

another level of balls. It's a it's

57:10

a rough life. There was. There was many times

57:13

where we had journalists I got, if

57:15

not killed, injured severely where

57:17

they're going back without all their limbs. Yeah no,

57:20

yeah, no. I was at a certain point

57:22

at a in an earlier career at a radio place

57:24

I mentioned where they basically

57:27

were like, Uh, if you want to move

57:29

ahead in your career, we're gonna have to embed you for a desert

57:31

storm. And I was like, yeah, no,

57:35

it's not you know, like they don't play about

57:37

when you do certain levels of of of journalism,

57:41

they have to embed you, they have to put you in,

57:43

um, but they tell you off the top, we

57:45

can't guarantee you're gonna come back. I'm

57:48

reporting a story, sir, I'm not dying from a country.

57:50

I can't do it. That's a lot, you know what I'm saying.

57:52

That's a heavy job. Man Sebastian Younger

57:55

was you know the author. Um he's

57:58

written several big, big books, perfect

58:00

Storm is one of them. But he's also a journalist

58:03

and a very talented journalist and writer

58:05

and everything. And he went out there with one

58:07

of his photographers and um

58:11

uh, the photographer kind of wandered

58:13

off to get a shot into a active

58:15

mindfield and stepped on the mind. And

58:17

it's it's that kind of thing. It's not always hostile

58:20

fire, it's just sometimes things happen. In

58:22

Iraq. We had a guy that was out

58:25

covering a story. Wasn't

58:27

even any hostiles nearby, and

58:29

he uh, the heat and having

58:31

the extra body armor and stuff on. It's just

58:34

the lifestyle. He wasn't prepared

58:36

for it. And he jumped off of a

58:38

tank and was doing like this walk up to camera

58:41

type thing and just fell over dead because of a heart

58:43

attack. And it's it's there's a

58:45

there's a lot of things

58:47

that can happen to journalists, and so it's

58:49

my job when I'm escorting them

58:51

is to make sure that those things don't happen.

58:53

At least I can try to mitigate it as much as

58:55

possible, you know, Brian, I gotta tell you, my man,

58:59

but be flat out with you. But man,

59:01

I'm black, all right, And my big

59:04

fear was that I was gonna go over there and getting better and they

59:06

were gonna kidnap my black ass, And there was will be

59:08

nobody negotiating getting me the hell up out

59:10

on kidnap. They will kidnap you.

59:12

They will kidnapped the journalists. They definitely

59:14

would have gave my ass back. I ain't friend. I'm hoping

59:16

that it looked like us because

59:18

I ain't nobody coming. How much you make, Brian?

59:21

How much do I make? Now? So I'm a just

59:23

twelve and I've been a just twelve

59:25

for quite some time. I'm a step five. So with the locality

59:28

pay and all that stuff in this area, I'm right,

59:31

I guess I average about don't

59:34

money out there and

59:38

if the salary starting is Jack,

59:41

what's so rude? Shelly

59:43

looked him. You saw that right now. If they

59:46

looked him like, Hey, I'm a government employee. It's

59:48

it's public record. So I average about

59:50

ninety grand. But Brian, I'm

59:53

leaving. I'm leaving Mississippi pretty

59:55

soon, uh to go in about

59:57

two weeks. I'm leaving Mississippi to go to Okinawa, Japan.

1:00:00

Oh. I found out that, Uh,

1:00:02

it's very lucrative to to be a

1:00:05

government simlion overseas because they pay your

1:00:07

rent and your your utilities

1:00:10

and then pay your salary. On top of that, Man,

1:00:13

you can turn Uncle Sam into a sugar daddy. I

1:00:15

like this. Bryan. Thank you

1:00:18

so much for everything that you're doing, and

1:00:20

thank you for delivering the messages to the

1:00:22

media to get the word out on what's going on in

1:00:24

that world. Thank you. The podcast is

1:00:26

Work Sucks. You can download

1:00:28

it wherever you download this fine podcast. Thank

1:00:31

you so much for Brian for coming. Thanks, thanks,

1:00:33

thanks for having me on. That's

1:00:35

the show. Royce John Fair is a product

1:00:37

of I Heart Media, Paramount in South

1:00:40

Park and Princeton Productions. Jack

1:00:42

Whenough said this before you are a woman of

1:00:44

layers. What do

1:00:46

you mean I

1:00:49

didn't need to know that you wanted to have sex with a puppet

1:00:52

whatever? Since

1:00:55

winning whatever,

1:00:58

you all wouldn't talk to Walter, and that was

1:01:01

rude. Somewhere of his age expects

1:01:03

to be talked to you as well. Listen,

1:01:06

now we're not fitting coat.

1:01:09

Was freaking me out. I'm gonna talk to him, not the whole man,

1:01:13

the whole as Jeff done on the show. Jeff

1:01:17

done him, so it's interesting. Sounds

1:01:20

like Jeff Donham need to make you a second Walter. Let

1:01:22

me would do a Wooden's

1:01:24

sex Doll episode. I'm

1:01:28

not gonna I'm thinking I

1:01:32

got terrible out of my head. Oh so

1:01:34

many splinters in that place exactly.

1:01:36

I think that's a good place to stop. No

1:01:39

clue what to say. This

1:01:42

has been a Comedy Central podcast