This week on ROLAND WITH MY HOMIES, we say the B-Word, which is "Bloodmancy."

Just because your podcast hasn't gotten its red wings doesn't mean the rest of us can't get super horned up to the sounds of violent exsanguination! That's right, Ka-Babbies, we're reading THE LITTLE SISTERS OF ELURIA, a delectable little confection collected in the short story anthology EVERYTHING'S EVENTUAL. In this short prequel novel, Roland gets beaten up by a pack of mutants and spends most of the story strapped to a hammock while unsettling vampire stuff happens all around him. Oh lord, I hope the resolution has something to do with a Christian dog!

ALSO: we chat with Danielle's mom, tell a funny story from Danielle and Mike's wedding, make explicit the implicit in regards to SUPER MARIO ODYSSEY, and authoritatively assert our opinions on whether you're allowed to say The B-Word. 

This podcast was recorded on Thanksgiving Eve in 2017, to set the scene, so prepare to hear our thoughts about Roy Moore and how everyone in our lives wants to hear our STRANGER THINGS takes.

ROLAND WITH MY HOMIES is a SPOILER ZONE so please read the book first. 

DISCUSSED: 

START OF PODCAST0:00.000Hello and Welcome0:00.000Is The Dark Tower Sexy or Just Horny?0:47.158Why Read Eluria after the Gunslinger?1:54.119I wish PS4 did backwards compatibility like Xbox One3:04.319Recap begins3:24.390Stranger Things is a little better than The Dark Tower4:27.580Danielle would book an AirBnB in Eluria5:47.317Unclear if Mike properly used the word "Bemused"7:08.000Roland thinks it's wrong to kill the only sign of life in a ghost town7:42.039Mike admits when he's wrong11:39.401Dark Tower Religion stuff15:52.654Josh reveals how often he tunes out Mike and Danielle17:17.910I'm not actually going to splice anything in from a previous episode screw that man17:22.575Witch Doctors in my Beyonce Facebook group18:49.358What Roland would think about Roy Moore20:21.673Do they, Danielle?21:05.433Is there a JFK drinking game on this show? There is now!!22:26.5319/1123:15.203Roland convalesces24:42.285Danielle's mom calls and asks us about Stranger Things, discussion of D+M's Wedding27:35.362Our apartment is the ideal environment for podcasting36:09.144Dinner Time?36:36.264Jenna the Hot One36:38.515The "doctors" ahhhhh!! (Danielle's Lucille Bluth impression)38:01.862James and John39:12.342Extremely Professionally, Danielle and Josh are chatting to each other on Google Hangouts during the recording.39:27.433Josh uses the B-word40:10.395REF: What We Do in the Shadows40:47.737Will anyone know these politics references?43:15.529Is the soup nasty or delicious?44:12.833We finally address the gendered hostility in the podcast44:48.092Holy hell, I can't believe we were making #MeToo riffs last Thanksgiving we are living in a hellish perpetual present45:21.189Kisses for all! (Danielle reads unsexy erotica)46:08.630Debate upon the legitimacy of Roland's boner49:12.750Only magic could turn Roland into a two-pump chump49:28.027Josh vs. Leftist Women53:19.142Just because you haven't gotten your Red Wings doesn't mean everyone is turned off by the smell of blood54:05.610LINK: Stephen King's Boners Tumblr55:35.810For some reason this all reminds Josh about Bloodborne57:50.156http://stephenkingsboners.tumblr.com/Canned Ham?1:00:58.847Hooboy1:03:37.802Josh vs. Stephen King's Misogyny1:06:05.171Josh actually liked this story but...1:07:03.618Parner up early and you don't have to grow1:08:57.430Danielle is ride-or-die for Wendy Torrance1:10:05.612Is King self-aware enough about Roland's nostalgia?1:12:50.875I think King addresses this in The Drawing of the Three1:15:06.689Josh doesn't know he's describing Odetta Holmes1:16:43.933Mike confuses Stephen King for Kurt Vonnegut1:17:09.441What Roland has done so far1:17:14.987Danielle pulls some random passage to talk about not sure of her point here1:18:13.386Another Pee Break1:18:26.947Mario Odyssey1:18:45.831Did Pauleen Fuck Donkey Kong? (Do you need to ask?)1:19:56.602B-Word So Sorry1:20:37.694http://www.zeldarocks.com/The-Seven-Starred-Lotus-Super-Mario-RPG-Mandala.html1:23:22.945An Intervention on the B-Word1:24:11.106Mike says bitch but it's like almost midnight at this point so sorry1:24:29.620A discussion of Dracula and Danse Macabre and Oscar Wilde1:29:00.200Josh loves Dracula1:30:46.682Men just get off from evil1:34:16.395Through your women you will all be mine1:36:32.734Oscar Wilde???1:37:02.053Anality1:42:48.062That's Ka, baby1:43:28.478Danielle shouts "KILL THE DOG, ROLAND!!"1:45:15.177The opposite of this would be a creature that steals life in some way, don't you think?1:46:10.222Mike takes five minutes to say the most banal platitudes in podcast history1:46:23.079God help us, water sports1:47:45.196Does Josh like this story?1:53:42.703Preview The Stand1:54:47.230Josh watched IT when he was 41:56:09.583Danielle talks about her thesis1:57:40.842We ended up on Podbean1:58:38.048Mike will hook you up with pirate copies of Maude2:00:12.561How much stand to read2:00:13.773Keeeeeeeep Readin'!2:00:55.835

 

MUSIC:

"Wool" by Big Ups

"Bumper Tag" by John Deley