Episode Reviews

It's so easy to get stuck in patterns without being aware. I don't always feel the warmth I expect from my daughter and I think it has to be because my attention is always so divided. I'm so rarely focused on her, really truly locked on, and I've done a very poor job of communicating on her level how important she is to me. It's a genuine struggle for me to imagine myself in the thoughts of others, but that hasn't prevented me from trying to be better for her. I want her to feel my excitement when I see her, I want her to know without a shred of doubt that I'm present and proactively engaged with her.I don't think the ideas expressed in this episode are revolutionary by any means, but they are synthesized here in such a highly effective way, I'm not sure if I ever would've reached the same conclusions with such certitude. I listened to this on my commute home from work and imagining how my little girl might feel if she thought her daddy wasn't as excited to see her as she was to see him, the thought of letting that injustice go was the loneliest I've felt in a long time. I cried in the car. I silenced my phone, took off the over-ears, and we played for a whole evening. Just that little bit of change made a difference the next day, enough to encourage me to do it again and do it better this time. I still falter. I have other issues which tear at my attention. But I've kept momentum these last couple weeks and the warmth is growing. I can feel it. God I love this show.