0:00

Welcome back to release

0:00

the podcast. In this episode we

0:02

are interviewing Roxanne Thane

0:02

about how to craft your story.

0:08

Roxanne is most noted for her

0:08

contagious enthusiasm for

0:13

anything good. Her work as an

0:13

educator, marketing director,

0:17

publisher and disciple of

0:17

Christ, promote beautiful faith

0:20

filled storytelling, her recent

0:20

books, collective brilliance,

0:25

sparking ideas, build faith and

0:25

see your ministry in a whole new

0:28

light and jewels in your pocket.

0:28

How to comfortably share your

0:32

faith through the power of

0:32

personal stories motivates

0:36

readers to participate in the

0:36

gathering of Israel. She loves

0:40

sparkly things like jewelry

0:40

chandeliers and conversation.

0:44

She and her husband Tim live

0:44

love and work together with

0:48

their family in Lehi, Utah.

0:57

away

1:09

okay, Mom, thank you so

1:09

much for being on the podcast.

1:14

So as I talked about in the bio,

1:14

and in the intro, I'm having my

1:19

mom on not because she has a

1:19

released story, because she

1:23

hasn't served a mission yet yet.

1:23

But because she is a

1:28

professional in helping people

1:28

craft their released stories.

1:33

She is the reason I have mine

1:33

crafted at all. And one of the

1:38

biggest reasons for why released

1:38

the podcast is a thing. And so I

1:44

was able to interview my dad,

1:44

the first episode of this

1:47

season, and I'm excited to

1:47

interview my mom like 1617

1:51

episodes in. And so and I think

1:51

you guys are going to take a lot

1:56

away from this episode in terms

1:56

of how to craft your story, how

2:01

to make it something people

2:01

actually want to listen to. So

2:06

they can feel inspired by your

2:06

experience. And it could be, it

2:11

could be on this podcast that

2:11

you share it. It could be just

2:14

to your family and friends that

2:14

you share it. Or just to

2:18

yourself the story that you tell

2:18

yourself either way. In any

2:22

case, it's going to help you so

2:22

much to be able to write your

2:27

story down and craft it. And so

2:27

I'm really excited to have my

2:31

mom on Roxanne thing. Yeah,

2:31

thanks for being on.

2:36

I'm delighted to be here. You know that?

2:38

Yeah. Well, could we

2:38

just jump right into kind of,

2:42

I'm just going to ask you what

2:42

got you into storytelling in the

2:46

first place? You bet.

2:48

Well, I was one

2:48

of those strange little children

2:51

that didn't have any friends in

2:51

grade school is kind of a sad

2:54

situation. But I've since

2:54

learned how to make friends. It

2:57

was more my fault than the kids.

2:57

But one of the things that I

3:01

have a great memory of was the

3:01

library in our elementary school

3:05

at Thomas Elementary in

3:05

Flagstaff, Arizona. And I can

3:09

tell you to this day, if I was

3:09

to walk in right where I hung

3:12

out, it was the second aisle on

3:12

your right, the bookshelf that

3:15

was about knee height. And there

3:15

was one length of shelf that was

3:19

biographies. And somehow I found

3:19

one of those it was in the big

3:23

kids section. And I read every

3:23

biography on there, even the

3:27

very last one, which was

3:27

Florence Nightingale and it was

3:30

so thick, I scared of it. I

3:30

didn't want to have to read it.

3:32

But I read it and loved it. And

3:32

there was just something in me

3:36

at that age that I didn't just

3:36

want the Tutsi character

3:40

illustrated books, I really

3:40

wanted to know people's stories

3:43

because I felt like I got to

3:43

live a lifetime within those

3:46

pages. And I didn't have to go

3:46

through everything was my cliff

3:50

notes for that experience. I

3:50

don't want to go through that,

3:52

Lord, just tell me what they

3:52

learned from it. And I will try

3:55

to make the jump. So I've always

3:55

loved that. And I always

4:00

preferred to sit at the feet of

4:00

my elders. When we would gather

4:04

family activities, I wouldn't be

4:04

out running around the yard. I'd

4:07

be sitting quietly under the

4:07

table at their feet, just trying

4:10

not to be noticed because I

4:10

wanted to hear what the grown

4:12

ups were talking about. I wanted

4:12

their stories. I went on to

4:17

school, I thought I wanted to

4:17

teach high school. I got my

4:20

degree from BYU in history,

4:20

secondary ed. Then I started

4:24

having children and I

4:24

homeschooled you kids instead of

4:27

teaching in the high schools,

4:27

but I kind of came away thinking

4:30

why did I do history, I should

4:30

have done something else. And I

4:33

had this great experience with

4:33

my husband one day where I was

4:36

very much into emergency prep.

4:36

And I said, Well, he was leaving

4:40

on a plane trip. And I said,

4:40

What happens if you die? And he

4:42

says, Why do you always bring

4:42

this up right before I leave?

4:45

And I said because I need to

4:45

know what I'm going to do if to

4:48

take care of our family. And I

4:48

don't know that I want to teach

4:51

high school. And he said, You

4:51

know what, you're good at its

4:54

marketing. And I said, Ooh,

4:54

yuck. He's like, do you even

4:57

know what marketing is? I

4:57

thought It was slimy in car

5:01

salesman, like I said, No, I

5:01

guess I don't. He says, Well,

5:05

when you're enthusiastic about

5:05

something, people follow you. So

5:08

do you think you could help me

5:08

by writing about our company and

5:11

our mission? Do you believe in

5:11

it? I said, heck, yes. I helped

5:14

you come up with the idea. Yeah.

5:14

And he says, Well, then, then if

5:17

you can write, and you can,

5:17

because you've written Christmas

5:21

newsletters, and you've done

5:21

flyers for Relief Society

5:24

activities, maybe you can help

5:24

market this. So I've been his

5:28

marketing director for 14 years

5:28

in our companies. And yeah, it's

5:32

it's gone fast. I cannot believe

5:32

it's been 14 years. And then

5:35

about four years ago, I decided

5:35

to write a book. And then two

5:40

people started coming to me and

5:40

my co founders, and we decided

5:44

to create a publishing company.

5:44

So now we help others leave

5:46

their legacy of faith to their

5:46

families. Yeah. So it's been

5:51

wonderful. And now we get to use

5:51

it with the missions.

5:53

Yeah. Wow, that is so

5:53

cool. And you've been, like a

5:58

guest speaker, like for mission

5:58

wide conferences, and all that

6:04

stuff, teaching these

6:04

missionaries how to tell stories

6:07

and how to teach members how to

6:07

tell stories. And,

6:10

and I love it.

6:10

Talmage because everybody has a

6:14

story, but they freak when they

6:14

hear share the gospel or, you

6:19

know, flood the earth. Gather

6:19

Israel, they feel like, Oh, this

6:23

is so heavy. No, it's not. It's

6:23

a conversation where you just

6:26

say, Hey, this is my experience

6:26

living the gospel of Jesus

6:29

Christ. Does it kind of resonate

6:29

with you? I mean, I kind of have

6:32

something similar. Let me tell

6:32

you my story. It's that simple.

6:36

Yeah. And it's not that

6:36

she it's not anything like that.

6:40

It's just, this is my story. And

6:40

no one can argue with that.

6:44

No, they cannot

6:44

reject your own experience.

6:46

Yeah.

6:47

It's just like, the

6:47

worst outcome from that is like,

6:51

Oh, well, yeah, that's your

6:51

experience. Yeah. That's, that's

6:55

the worst kind of thing. And if

6:55

it's, if they're jerks about it,

6:58

they're just, there's something

6:58

wrong with them. Yeah. So

7:01

storytelling has been part of

7:01

your career, from marketing, to

7:06

starting a publishing company to

7:06

writing your own book, books,

7:10

you've written books, and help

7:10

the dad write his books. And so

7:16

and now, and you helped me start

7:16

released. And one of the biggest

7:22

lessons I learned from you and

7:22

starting released can kind of be

7:25

summed up in an experience I

7:25

had, when I was, like, seven

7:30

years old. We were in our old

7:30

house in Lehi. And my room was

7:35

messy, the sheets were off the

7:35

bed, and you had just cleaned

7:39

them. And I was playing video

7:39

games or something, I wasn't

7:43

doing what I was supposed to.

7:43

And you're like, Hey, Tom, is

7:45

you need to finish you're

7:45

cleaning your room. And I was

7:48

just overwhelmed, because I

7:48

didn't know how to put those

7:52

fitted sheets on beds. And I was

7:52

there all frustrated, and I had

7:55

like a full size bed. So I was

7:55

like a little kid. I couldn't

7:59

reach and add. So I was

7:59

frustrated. And my mom made me

8:05

get you made me get off the

8:05

game. And so I'm feeling

8:10

overwhelmed. And you come down,

8:10

and you're being really calm,

8:13

and you're wanting me to help

8:13

you. And I'm like, No, I don't

8:16

want your help. Like, leave me

8:16

alone. You're making me do this

8:20

thing. But I don't want your

8:20

help. And you're like, okay, and

8:24

you like walked away. And I just

8:24

had Instant Regret. I just felt

8:29

so bad. Not because I wasn't

8:29

getting help. But because I

8:34

rejected your help when all you

8:34

were doing was trying to love me

8:40

and help me. And in reality, I

8:40

couldn't get the fitted sheets

8:45

on I kept. Whenever I'd go on

8:45

one side, the other side would

8:49

flip up. And so you ended up

8:49

having to help me in the end.

8:55

But I remember feeling

8:55

so bad. And since that moment,

8:59

I've had times where I'm really

8:59

frustrated and overwhelmed with

9:04

work or whatever it is or

9:04

writing my own release story.

9:08

I'm just like, I can't do it. I

9:08

can't do and you're like, want

9:11

me to help? And I'm like, no.

9:11

It's so familiar. I'm like, I

9:16

just I just want to throw a pity

9:16

party right now. I just want to

9:20

be selfish and wallow in misery

9:20

and stuff instead of ask for

9:26

help. actually get your help and

9:26

like, understand that you're

9:31

just trying. You just love me.

9:35

And I might have experienced that could be beneficial. Yeah, a few tricks

9:36

to the trade.

9:38

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

9:38

And so yeah, that experience

9:44

really kind of sums up my pride

9:44

in keeping me keeping you from

9:51

helping me. But how I eventually

9:51

had that like moment of

9:54

realization where I'm like, I do

9:54

need her help. And I feel

9:59

guilty. for rejecting your hope.

10:04

Well, you're in

10:04

very good company, my friend.

10:08

Pride is like all of us. We all

10:08

have it. And we've all done it

10:12

to our Father in heaven, who

10:12

said, I'm here and our Savior,

10:15

reach out to me. Let me help

10:15

you. This is a two man job. And

10:20

we've said, nope, nope, I can do

10:20

it myself. And then when we

10:22

finally get over ourselves, then

10:22

and wanting all the glory for

10:27

ourselves. Then we finally asked

10:27

for the help and he is ready and

10:31

willing. He just wants to show

10:31

his love. He's like, Yeah, yeah.

10:35

Let me put that fitted

10:35

bedsheet on. I got you.

10:39

Okay, so should

10:39

we come clean about that story?

10:42

And, yeah, let's do.

10:45

Yeah. So my mom asked

10:45

if there was a story I could

10:49

share. Because this whole

10:49

episode is about stories. And I

10:55

was thinking, I was thinking, I'm like, What's the lesson my mom taught me? And I thought

10:57

about that one. Yeah. Like,

11:00

okay, how can I tie it in?

11:02

So the interesting thing about that Talmage Thayne, is that was a

11:04

little exercise for you that I

11:07

wanted you to have an experience

11:07

with, because it was recent. And

11:12

like five minutes before we

11:12

started writing, and I wanted

11:15

everybody in the listening

11:15

audience to hear that because

11:18

they can see wow, that's a

11:18

really sweet story. But I bet

11:22

you have rarely, if ever thought

11:22

of that story. Except I asked

11:27

you to prompt. Yeah. And then I

11:27

said, How did you change over

11:30

time? What is the gospel

11:30

principle learned? And together,

11:34

we were able to create that and

11:34

hopefully the audience was

11:37

entertained or at least engaged.

11:37

And hopefully, as a listener,

11:42

they were having thoughts go

11:42

through their mind, like, I had

11:44

something similar. Dang, I just

11:44

did that to my dad today. Yeah,

11:48

totally. And so that you don't

11:50

have to, like feel bad,

11:50

that you can't think of a story

11:54

right off the bat. No, because

11:54

we were unpracticed at this kind

11:57

of stuff, sometimes told, and so

11:57

you given me the prompt, I had

12:01

to sit and think about it for a

12:01

solid minute or two before I

12:05

come up with an idea. And then I

12:05

had to stir on it and think

12:08

about how, how it relates.

12:11

And you know, that's what we're going to teach today is the pieces of the

12:13

story. And the reason story is

12:19

so important. And I just gotta

12:19

give my little pitch here. The

12:22

reason story is so important is

12:22

because it is the way that our

12:26

brains are wired, we do not

12:26

remember bullet points, we do

12:31

not remember scripture and

12:31

verse, when you have a great

12:34

talk in church that you hear you

12:34

come back, and you tell

12:38

everybody at lunch about that

12:38

great talk. And you tell the

12:42

story that they told, you don't

12:42

say it was a three part talk

12:45

with this verse And this quote

12:45

from that prophet. Those are

12:48

nice little supporting pieces,

12:48

for sure, that add credibility,

12:53

but it's a story that people can

12:53

remember because it is creating

12:57

a picture in their mind. So

12:57

hopefully, as you were talking

13:00

about getting off of the video

13:00

game, and the sheet popping off

13:04

one end, when you were

13:04

stretching it on the other end,

13:06

the other corner of the bed,

13:06

people could picture it, they'd

13:08

been there before they were having this picture in their mind of a seven year old kid

13:10

throwing a tantrum. Yeah. And,

13:13

and, and if I taken a

13:13

little bit more time, I probably

13:16

could have crafted it a little

13:16

bit better. To help them imagine

13:21

that even

13:21

better, even

13:21

better, right? And, you know,

13:23

this is something that we see

13:23

all the time in the church, a

13:26

lot of people go oh, yeah, I get

13:26

it. Christ told parables because

13:29

we could understand it. It was

13:29

something we had experienced as

13:31

well. Somebody in the family who

13:31

had left and wasted their

13:35

living, and how they were

13:35

welcomed home with love by an

13:39

unconditional loving parent. But

13:39

they are used these kinds of

13:44

stories all the time in general

13:44

conference. And I'm just going

13:47

to give you one little bit of a

13:47

story and see if you can

13:50

remember how it ended. So there

13:50

was a general authority that

13:53

told a story about surfed about

13:53

being in Australia and walking

13:57

down the beach and seeing a

13:57

bunch of surfers that were there

13:59

on vacation, and they were very

13:59

upset and angry and pointing and

14:03

talking. And he asked what was

14:03

wrong? And they said, Well,

14:06

we've traveled all the way here

14:06

to surf here. And there's all

14:09

these fences here. And we can't

14:09

get out there in the water and

14:12

these nets. And then an older

14:12

gentleman walked up and said,

14:17

here and he handed him the

14:17

binoculars and said Take a look.

14:19

And they looked out there and

14:19

they saw dorsal fin dorsal fins.

14:24

Yeah. So what they were upset

14:24

about these boundaries, were

14:28

actually preserving their lives.

14:28

They just didn't have the vision

14:32

to understand that. Now, that

14:32

story, if you can remember that

14:36

story was at least eight years

14:36

ago.

14:39

And I remember it now.

14:39

I do remember it.

14:42

Yeah. And there

14:42

was one told just about three

14:44

years ago about Sister Corden

14:44

who was taking l Tom Perry out

14:48

to feed the chickens. She had a

14:48

flashlight that she wasn't

14:52

pointing at the ground and what

14:52

happened and he stepped in a

14:54

puddle or something. Yeah, he

14:54

stepped in a ditch of water.

14:57

Yeah. And he said, Bonnie, you

14:57

You really need to point your

15:01

light to help others know where

15:01

to step, you know, not up in the

15:04

air, you know where you're going. They don't know. beautiful story. They sense made

15:06

a video of it. Why? Because she

15:09

drew a picture in our minds. And

15:09

we were all like, Oh, I get it.

15:13

Yes. That's a great principle

15:13

taught with a story. So whether

15:18

one

15:19

is, and this isn't more

15:19

more recent one, but everybody

15:23

remembers it. It's the I forgot

15:23

his name, who tells it, but he

15:29

was young. His dad wasn't a

15:29

member. He didn't go to church,

15:34

but his mother was she's like,

15:34

come to church, and he's like,

15:38

I'm, I'm gonna stay home with

15:38

dad. And then he stays home with

15:42

dad. And then he's like, Hey,

15:42

Dad, I'm gonna go play soccer.

15:46

Oh, well, he,

15:46

yeah. He didn't tell his dad

15:49

that at first. Oh, yeah. He said

15:49

he was gonna stay home and be

15:52

with his dad. Yeah. And after

15:52

watching his dad, he wasn't

15:55

really helping. He just snuck

15:55

out, had to sneak past the

15:58

sneaker

15:59

has the church to go to

15:59

a soccer game. And as he was

16:03

sneaking past the church, a

16:03

young men's leader saw him

16:05

running from tree to tree trying

16:05

to be sneaky. And then that the

16:10

next week, the young men's

16:10

leader came to his house is

16:13

like, I want you to teach the

16:13

lesson. And he didn't want to

16:17

teach the lesson. Because that

16:17

next Sunday was another soccer

16:20

game. Yeah. And so he's praying

16:20

to be sick. But he wasn't sick.

16:27

So he woke up had to go to

16:27

church. And he had to teach the

16:30

lesson on keeping the Sabbath

16:30

day holy. And, you know, it's

16:34

such a good story. And he tells

16:34

us way better he does, but,

16:39

but that's it, we'll remember it, they people remember it. And we love that,

16:40

because we understand him, he

16:44

shared a little vulnerability,

16:44

like I wasn't always a general

16:47

authority, actually a kid trying

16:47

to get out of church. And then

16:51

every kid there's like, Oh,

16:51

good, somebody else gets it that

16:53

soccer is way more fun as a

16:53

child. Yeah, in church. So the

16:58

power in a story is that you can

16:58

show vulnerability, and you can

17:02

show growth. And you can show

17:02

people that they too can do the

17:06

same. Without saying and thus we

17:06

see the moral of the story is

17:12

the commandments, say,

17:14

let them figure it out.

17:14

Figure out the meaning of the

17:18

story. Yeah, you just tell the

17:18

story.

17:20

Just tell the

17:20

story. Walk away. Let them sit

17:24

there with it. Let the Spirit

17:24

work on them. And they will come

17:28

up with what they need. And, you

17:28

know, one of the things I think

17:31

is so amazing about missionaries

17:31

is you have stories every day,

17:37

probably five to 10 stories

17:37

every day happening, because

17:41

it's such a unique experience

17:41

for you. Whether you're in a

17:44

different country or with a

17:44

different language or not,

17:46

you're doing something you never

17:46

did before in high school. Yeah.

17:49

And if you did not write in your

17:49

journal, shame on you, but many

17:53

of you didn't, you were probably

17:53

at least writing letters home,

17:57

hopefully, hopefully. Yeah. And

17:57

if not, that may be somebody who

18:01

was writing to you and

18:01

commenting on a phone call or a

18:04

zoom call that you had with a

18:04

family and they can mention

18:07

people's names that can help

18:07

prompt those stories to come

18:11

back to you. Now, I know that

18:11

the other day you and I were

18:15

talking and you shared a really

18:15

sad story. Something that you

18:19

almost lost. Yeah. Because you

18:19

didn't write it down. You want

18:22

to share that? Yeah.

18:23

Yeah, actually, this

18:23

this story, I found it because I

18:27

started reading through my old

18:27

emails. It was a book you

18:30

compiled. And I was reading

18:30

through it. And it talked about

18:35

a baptism. And I'm like, I

18:35

baptized someone that transfer

18:39

what? And I started reading in

18:39

it. And the title of the email

18:45

was the baptism of John. And

18:45

like baptism of John, who's

18:50

John, I had totally forgotten

18:50

about this guy. I had taught

18:55

this guy I started teaching him.

18:55

He was taught by the

18:59

missionaries a couple of years

18:59

before he had done all of his

19:03

family history work, given it to

19:03

members and the members got all

19:06

of his, like temple ordinances

19:06

done for his ancestors. And so

19:11

he was kind of like a golden

19:11

investigator, but I was pulled

19:14

out of the area and sisters came

19:14

in. And like, a few weeks later,

19:20

they were gonna baptize him. And

19:20

he asked me to baptize him. Wow.

19:25

And I was so excited. I went, we

19:25

baptized him. And it was an

19:30

amazing experience. And I

19:30

completely forgot about it.

19:36

Completely.

19:38

Isn't that

19:38

crazy? Yeah. I mean, that is all

19:42

you're working for as a missionary. Yeah.

19:43

You don't think you would forget about something like that? But you do. And I'm

19:45

not. I'm not unique. I have a

19:50

bad memory. But like, I know I'm

19:50

not unique. There's a lot of

19:53

people that forget amazing

19:53

experiences like that. The only

19:57

reason I found it again is

19:57

because I had met mentioned it

20:00

in an email that my mom put

20:00

together in a book that I

20:04

happened to read that night.

20:08

And again,

20:08

you're not alone. I'm not alone.

20:12

The prophets of the Book of

20:12

Mormon and the Bible had to

20:15

write it down. Why did the they

20:15

go back to the Scriptures?

20:19

Because they would never

20:19

remember those miracles. They

20:22

would never remember those

20:22

prophecies. And aren't we so

20:25

grateful for the stories? Can I

20:25

share one of my favorite stories

20:28

of that experience I had? With

20:28

this, I was interviewing a woman

20:32

who was going to come to work

20:32

for me as a marketing assistant.

20:35

And we started talking about

20:35

stories. She had a lot of

20:38

experience in editing. And she

20:38

says, you know, so and so. And

20:41

she named somebody I said, No,

20:41

she was, well, he's my great,

20:44

great, great grandfather. I

20:44

said, Okay, she was, you might

20:47

know his story. It's a story of

20:47

him, of some members in a Sunday

20:52

school class, in the early days

20:52

of the church out here in Utah.

20:56

And they were talking about the

20:56

mistakes that the leaders had

20:59

made by letting the Willie and

20:59

Martin handcart company come

21:02

across the plains so late in the

21:02

season. And as they were talking

21:06

about it, a man stood up, and,

21:06

and rebuked them and said that

21:12

he had been a member of that, of

21:12

that handcart company. And he

21:16

said, not one of the members

21:16

that had ever been in that

21:19

company ever left the church

21:19

because they got to know God in

21:23

their extremities. And he told

21:23

the story of being so weak from

21:27

famine, and cold, that he would

21:27

look up the hill as he was

21:30

pulling his handcart and saying,

21:30

I can only make it to that patch

21:33

of sand, or that tuft of grass,

21:33

and then I must stop and die.

21:38

But he says, Every time as I got

21:38

close to that patch of sand, or

21:42

that tuft of grass, I would feel

21:42

someone pushing me from behind,

21:45

and I would look back to see who

21:45

it was. And there was no one.

21:48

And I knew then that it was the

21:48

angels of God helping me. And he

21:52

says, No one who served who

21:52

walked the paths on Willie and

21:57

Martin handcart companies ever

21:57

left the church? Because it was

22:02

a privilege to pay that price to

22:02

know God. Okay, how many of you

22:06

know that story? It's been told

22:06

in general conference? Well,

22:10

this was this woman's great,

22:10

great, great grandfather. And

22:13

she says, I have used that

22:13

story. So many times when I have

22:16

suffered from depression,

22:16

postpartum depression, to push

22:20

through and to know that I will

22:20

have angels that my back pushing

22:23

me along. And I said, I know

22:23

that story. I love that story.

22:27

She says, Do you want to know

22:27

the rest of that story? My

22:30

great, great, great grandfather

22:30

never wrote it down. It was

22:33

written down by a man who was in

22:33

the Sunday school class, who

22:36

heard it and recorded it. And

22:36

millions of members of the

22:40

church have found strength from

22:40

it. So you might think that your

22:44

experiences don't matter. You

22:44

don't get to choose if those

22:48

experiences matter or not. They

22:48

will absolutely become scripture

22:53

for people. They will pull them

22:53

through difficulties, they will

22:57

give them hope and joy in ways

22:57

that you don't get to determine

23:01

that's for the Lord. Your job is

23:01

to repeat them or to record

23:05

them.

23:07

Yeah, that is so

23:10

powerful. It is.

23:10

And I think that a lot of times,

23:14

we think, Oh, our stories are

23:14

gonna go out there and bless

23:17

others lives. But I had an

23:17

experience talking to one of my

23:21

co founders that rooftop

23:21

publishing, and she was telling

23:24

me about a family member who had

23:24

left the church as a teenager,

23:29

and now he was a young adult.

23:29

And he was reconverted by

23:33

reading his journals from when

23:33

he was a teenager. Wow, he

23:37

reconverted himself. He didn't

23:37

need anybody else. He just

23:41

couldn't deny what he had

23:41

experienced. But guess what he

23:44

forgot he did experienced it. So

23:44

if you are struggling with your

23:49

faith, go back and read it. One

23:49

of my dear friends, her husband

23:52

has left the church. And I said,

23:52

You know what he'll remember she

23:56

was oh, I know, I know, he will

23:56

come back, because I have read

23:59

his missionary journals. And he

23:59

knows it. He's just forgotten

24:03

it. But he did know it. So it's

24:03

a powerful tool for others, but

24:09

you just don't even know how

24:09

important it might be to your

24:12

own faith and salvation.

24:15

Man, it is so true.

24:15

That it's been a really cool

24:19

thing for me to do is go back

24:19

and read my journal. For that

24:23

same reason. As a

24:27

in like, I feel the

24:27

spirit. I'm like, I wrote that.

24:30

What? That's cool. Or, or like a

24:30

voice of warning, like, don't

24:36

want to do that again.

24:40

Your past will shape

24:40

your future kind of thing. Yeah.

24:44

And so when you look at your

24:44

past, and the stories that you

24:48

told yourself back then, and

24:48

everything, you'll see it shape

24:52

your future. And that's why

24:52

crafting your story now is so

24:57

important for what's going to

24:57

happen in the Future, as well as

25:01

just the present, how you feel

25:01

in the present is impacted so

25:06

much. By the story you tell

25:06

yourself.

25:09

That's right. I

25:09

think that, you know, we've

25:12

talked about this before, or

25:12

maybe you and dad talked about

25:17

this. But the story you tell

25:17

yourself about your mission is

25:19

powerful about the members that

25:19

you worked with about your

25:22

companions, about the people

25:22

that you taught about the

25:25

culture, all of that, you can

25:25

change your story, if you do not

25:31

capture it for what it was now,

25:31

you can start to have

25:35

experiences now where you feel

25:35

disappointed in life and you

25:37

think, Wait, I was supposed to

25:37

have a beautiful life after

25:40

serving. And you need to be able

25:40

to craft that story by picking

25:45

out the parts that are going to

25:45

be the most faith promoting, not

25:48

studying the parts that were

25:48

difficult, you can mention

25:51

those, but you really want to

25:51

move on to the part that is

25:54

inspiring.

25:56

Getting into your

25:56

expertise. Now now that we've

25:58

talked about the importance of

25:58

doing it. How do we do it? Yeah.

26:02

And how do we do it in a way

26:02

that?

26:08

Yeah, how do we do it

26:08

in a way that is compelling and

26:12

powerful? And so maybe you could

26:12

share a little bit about some of

26:17

the things that you've learned

26:17

while writing your book,

26:20

literally, on this topic? And in

26:20

teaching missionaries and

26:24

members how to craft their

26:24

story? What are some of the

26:27

things that they've done that

26:27

have been the most successful?

26:31

Okay? Yeah. The

26:31

book I wrote is called jewels in

26:34

your pocket, how to comfortably

26:34

share your faith through the

26:37

power of personal stories. So

26:37

like you mentioned, in the

26:40

beginning, I never served a

26:40

mission. I got married, and I

26:43

was going to go, but man, I was

26:43

secretly relieved when I didn't

26:47

go, because I was just worried

26:47

about what if they reject me,

26:50

blah, blah, blah. Now I am

26:50

chomping at the bit to go on a

26:53

mission because I realize what

26:53

it takes is just me sharing my

26:56

life experience like, hey,

26:56

prayer worked for me, paying

26:59

tithing has worked for me, this

26:59

is the joy I found in keeping my

27:02

body clean by obeying the Word

27:02

of Wisdom. This is why I want to

27:05

live a life worthy to live with

27:05

my family forever. So I've got

27:10

stories now built up. But what

27:10

if somebody whipped out a story

27:15

to share with you that had to do

27:15

with the thing you were

27:17

struggling with? Say it was a

27:17

death of a loved one. And you

27:22

could pull out a story about a

27:22

death of a loved one that showed

27:26

you that Heavenly Father has a

27:26

plan that we can be together

27:29

again, isn't that so much better

27:29

than statistics, and research,

27:35

and even great, beautiful

27:35

quotes, because they don't need

27:40

to hear a prophet quote, they

27:40

need to hear it from you. That

27:43

means you're actually listening

27:43

and feeling what they're

27:46

feeling. So the book jewels in

27:46

your pocket, it's called jewels

27:50

in your pocket, because my mom

27:50

was a wonderful listener. And

27:54

whenever I'd come home from

27:54

school, and I'd be all aflutter

27:57

about something good that had

27:57

happened. She say, Roxanne, that

28:00

is a jewel to keep in your apron

28:00

pocket. And on days, when things

28:03

aren't going so well, you can

28:03

pull that out and look at it and

28:07

remember, a happier time or that

28:07

someone loved you once or

28:11

whatever it was. Well, that's

28:11

how our spiritual stories are,

28:14

if we will mined for them from

28:14

our life experience, cut them

28:18

beautifully polished them up so

28:18

that they are reflective of the

28:22

Savior's love and light, then we

28:22

can share those jewels with

28:26

other people, and they get to

28:26

enjoy them, but we keep them at

28:29

the ready. I mean, your story

28:29

that we've just shared about the

28:32

bedsheets was not at the ready.

28:32

It took about five minutes to

28:35

pull it together. But now you

28:35

have it, and I guarantee you're

28:39

gonna use it again. Yeah,

28:39

whether it's a talk or an

28:42

administering assignment or over

28:42

dinner with somebody.

28:45

Yeah, yeah. Because now

28:45

I have that principle attached

28:49

with the lesson I learned how it

28:49

impacted me.

28:53

And that was just something so simple. It wasn't that powerful to you, but

28:55

you've made it powerful. So

28:59

here's the things that that we

28:59

have learned to do. So we

29:02

started working with the

29:02

missionaries during the

29:04

pandemic, or I started to

29:04

helping create videos that were

29:09

actually going to invite the

29:09

spirit not just silliness, or

29:12

look at us, or We're normal

29:12

people too, but they were

29:15

spirits. They were spiritual

29:15

stories. And, of course, there

29:21

were so many missionaries that

29:21

had amazing experiences that got

29:24

them on a mission or new

29:24

converts to the church. And we

29:27

even did a series that was about

29:27

the youth battalion. So we had

29:30

all of these seminary students

29:30

sharing their stories of how

29:33

they had seen God's hand in

29:33

their life. It was fantastic.

29:36

And we did probably 60 of them.

29:36

But the one thing that we

29:39

learned in that experience, and

29:39

it was with one of your brothers

29:41

who was filming them, and I was

29:41

directing them was that when

29:45

people tell a conversion story,

29:45

it's like 18 minutes long. Well,

29:48

as we all know, on social media,

29:48

no one's gonna watch an 18

29:51

minute story. It's got to be

29:51

about two minutes. And so how do

29:54

you get them to cut it down into

29:54

something that's the most

29:57

powerful, sometimes they would

29:57

tell a story and would just And,

30:00

uh, Peter off in the end it was

30:00

just like, just, you know, ended

30:03

with a whimper. Yeah. And it

30:03

should have been powerful. So,

30:07

we I started to work with a

30:07

couple of professors at BYU, Bob

30:12

Walz, who was in the communications department and also been a news anchor for many

30:14

years. Dennis Packard, who was a

30:18

philosophy professor, and then a

30:18

full professor of film. And then

30:24

Dennis Lazenby who was a

30:24

professor at UVU, he started the

30:28

film program at UVU. And Dennis,

30:28

Dennis is Sanjay Packard, who's

30:33

a composer and a programmer. And

30:33

we started to work together with

30:37

others and come up with a way

30:37

that was a four step process in

30:41

writing a great story of

30:41

inspiration. And every mission

30:45

had these and I bet you can

30:45

think back to your mission page,

30:48

Facebook page, and remember

30:48

which one it was if you had

30:51

Facebook pages at that time. It

30:51

may, maybe it was a member story

30:56

or convert story, but there was

30:56

four parts to it. And, and I

30:59

have a video that I'll give you

30:59

the link to Yeah, yeah, we'll

31:02

put the link up here. Yeah, if

31:02

you want to go back and watch

31:05

it, but the four parts are

31:05

number one, you're talking about

31:08

a life challenge, death,

31:08

divorce, depression, cancer,

31:14

bullying, financial loss, death,

31:14

something like that, we can all

31:19

come up with 15 that we've all

31:19

experienced. So you have a life

31:23

challenge. The next thing is, is

31:23

that there was probably a moment

31:27

of inspiration that you had. And

31:27

that was to read the scriptures

31:32

to serve somebody to pray to go

31:32

to the temple, to keep your

31:36

mouth shut. There was just this

31:36

moment that stopped you and that

31:40

was God's hand. All right. The

31:40

third part of the story was what

31:44

was the result of obeying that

31:44

inspiration? Or acting on the

31:49

inspiration? The fourth part is

31:49

very lightly touched on and that

31:54

is the gospel principle learned.

31:54

So tell me, cuz I didn't study

31:58

Preach My Gospel. But there's

31:58

certain lessons that are gospel

32:01

principles, and you teach them

32:01

in any order, correct? Yeah, but

32:05

what are some of the gospel principles?

32:07

Some of the gospel

32:07

principles like in the lessons

32:09

that Preach My Gospel, the

32:09

restoration, that's the first

32:13

lesson we usually teach about,

32:13

and it is, the first thing we

32:17

talked about is like, God is our

32:17

loving Heavenly Father. So he

32:21

gives us families.

32:22

Okay, perfect.

32:22

Stop right there. There's so

32:25

much more. But I can think of 15

32:25

stores right now, that could

32:29

illustrate that gospel

32:29

principle. Yeah. So what if

32:33

there was 20 of them? I don't know how many there are. But what if there was 20? And you

32:35

came up with a story for each

32:38

one of those? Isn't there one on

32:38

chastity? Isn't there one on the

32:42

tight on tithing? Yeah, word of

32:42

wisdom. Could you come up with a

32:47

story on each of those talents?

32:47

Whether it was your own or your

32:49

parents or converts? Totally?

32:49

Absolutely. Okay. So how about

32:54

we make that an assignment for

32:54

ourselves? For the next 20

32:56

Sundays, we write a story that

32:56

illustrates the gospel

33:00

principle. That is cool. So

33:00

someone says you don't drink?

33:03

Why don't you drink? And then

33:03

you tell them why. Like, yeah,

33:07

because I almost got

33:07

punched by several drunk

33:10

Irishman. And, and I'm like, I

33:10

don't want to be like that. So,

33:15

but it was also

33:15

part of your religion, and you

33:17

would listen to your story.

33:17

Okay. Take that sheet story. And

33:22

I want you to just break down

33:22

very quickly, what were the four

33:24

parts of the story? So starting

33:24

with the life challenge,

33:27

live challenge, messy

33:27

room, and sheets weren't on bed,

33:31

and frustration and frustration.

33:31

My mom was making me clean my

33:34

room, and quit doing what I

33:34

wanted to do and quit doing what

33:37

I wanted to do, which was

33:37

playing games. And so very

33:41

overwhelmed. Very frustrated. Okay,

33:42

what was the

33:42

second point? The point is, the

33:45

second point is the moment of

33:45

inspiration. Let me just say a

33:49

moment is usually about three

33:49

seconds long. It is not like

33:52

this long. Ah ha. It's like a

33:52

thought, a nudge, a prompting.

33:57

What was your prompting?

33:59

I felt so bad. I

33:59

rejected your help.

34:03

Okay, great. The

34:03

third part was acting on that

34:06

prompting, what did you do to

34:06

act I asked you to come help me.

34:10

Okay. And the fourth part, what

34:10

was the gospel principle

34:13

learned?

34:14

That pride will really

34:14

keep us from getting the help,

34:21

we need.

34:23

Wallowing. There's

34:23

honestly a couple, I can boil

34:27

down to normal, like, like to

34:27

one depending on the situation,

34:32

but like, one of them is like,

34:32

pride keeping me from having the

34:36

help I need. Number two is the

34:36

selfishness of me. Just having

34:44

that moment to reject somebody

34:44

that loves me, like, stick it to

34:48

him. And, like the pain I felt

34:48

from that, like the guilt I'm

34:54

like, dang it. They she didn't

34:54

deserve that.

34:59

And then I There's

35:00

probably several

35:00

more probably several more. And

35:02

when you're in a situation you

35:02

can craft it or emphasize what

35:07

needs to be emphasized to

35:07

connect with that person and

35:10

what they are experiencing or

35:10

the story that they just shared.

35:13

So one of the most important

35:13

things, could I go have

35:16

any, I'm just gonna

35:16

share one story that a guest

35:19

shared on this podcast. Yeah,

35:19

that illustrates every single

35:22

stage perfectly is Bob could

35:22

tell. Yeah, the story of him and

35:27

his daughter in the car, I loved

35:27

that. It was so perfectly done.

35:33

Him and his daughter in the car,

35:33

and she's throwing a tantrum.

35:36

She's trying to get out of her

35:36

car seat. She's old enough that

35:38

she can, like, start doing that.

35:38

And he's like, get back in the

35:41

car seat. And she's like, No,

35:41

it's like, do it now or else and

35:44

she's like, Bring it on. Like

35:44

with her eyes. She's not saying

35:47

that because she's a little. And

35:47

he pulls over over to the side

35:50

of the road. And he gets out.

35:50

And then he stops and thinks

35:54

like, he pauses. And then he has

35:54

a thought that comes to him that

35:58

says, like, because he has a

35:58

thought he's like, she's not

36:01

your daughter. And then he's

36:01

like, Okay, well, what do you

36:04

want it want me to do? He's

36:04

like, gods, like, give her a

36:08

hug. He's like, I'm not feeling

36:08

like a hug anything else? Like,

36:11

if you're not gonna listen to

36:11

me, don't ask. Yeah, fine. And

36:16

so he goes around to the other

36:16

side of the car and opens up the

36:18

door. And he's like, this isn't

36:18

gonna work. And his daughter's

36:22

gearing up for a fight. He's

36:22

like, Come Give Daddy a hug. And

36:27

she just melts and runs to him

36:27

and hugs him and cries. Slow,

36:32

darling. And then he was able to

36:32

like, he's like, are you okay

36:35

now? And she's like, Yeah. And

36:35

he buckles her up, and they

36:38

drive home and they never had

36:38

another problem. Interesting.

36:42

And it hits every single point.

36:43

Absolutely. And

36:43

here's the thing. It sounds like

36:48

kind of jerky when you think,

36:48

step one, step two, step three

36:51

so far. But if you want to think

36:51

about it this way, it's that I

36:54

was one way, a bunch of things

36:54

happened. And now I'm completely

36:59

different. And I think that if

36:59

you think about you frustrated

37:04

little kid didn't get to play

37:04

the games rejected and hated

37:07

your mom, to having this moment

37:07

that why would you reject that

37:10

help in that love, to asking for

37:10

the help and love being able to

37:13

finish it and realizing that is

37:13

my pride speaking? You were

37:17

prideful? Now you are humbled,

37:17

Bob could tell was angry, then

37:23

he was grateful. And, and all of

37:23

our stories that really matter.

37:29

Take that same approach. People

37:29

want to see change in you. If

37:33

you just say, hey, there was this funny thing that happened, blah, blah, blah. Well, that's

37:35

not really a story. That's an

37:39

anecdote. Yeah. Nobody really

37:39

changes from it. It was funny

37:43

for a moment, and they forget

37:43

it. But if they can keep

37:46

thinking back about that time,

37:46

you changed how you grew, it

37:50

inspires them and the Spirit

37:50

tells them, you can do the same,

37:54

you can repent, you can become

37:54

better. You can love again, you

37:58

can forgive.

37:59

Okay, so we actually

37:59

wanted to do a giveaway. For you

38:03

guys, that's jewels in your

38:03

pocket, how to comfortably share

38:07

your faith through the power of

38:07

stories. And the way to get this

38:11

book is by writing in your own

38:11

story. And you have those four

38:15

points, you were one way

38:15

something bad's going on, you

38:19

have a moment of realization.

38:19

You make a change, you do

38:23

something about that

38:23

realization, and the gospel

38:26

principle that came from that.

38:26

And that's a 500 word story you

38:30

submit to me, and just put it

38:30

the top jewel in your pocket.

38:36

And from the stories that are

38:36

submitted, I'm gonna pick

38:39

someone, I'm going to reach out

38:39

to you and I'm gonna send you

38:42

this book. Well, Mom, thank you

38:42

so much for being on the podcast

38:46

and making this podcast happen.

38:46

Is there any last things you'd

38:51

like to share with the released

38:51

audience?

38:55

You know, one of

38:55

my great mentors passed away

38:57

last night. And it's my dad's

38:57

sister, Julie. And she was a

39:03

great mentor to me in many ways.

39:03

But recently, I went to visit

39:08

her and she lives in St. George,

39:08

and she was laid out on her sick

39:15

bed, and she gave me her life

39:15

history. And it was this

39:20

wonderful because I've read

39:20

other histories that she's

39:23

written this wonderful book that

39:23

I would read aloud to your dad

39:26

as we traveled through Arizona,

39:26

and he would laugh, we would

39:29

cry, we would say that sounds

39:29

just like her. And Oh, that

39:32

reminds me of my own stories.

39:32

And I went back to her and said,

39:36

This is so amazing. Would it be

39:36

okay, if I publish it for you,

39:39

because of my company. I have a

39:39

team that can do that. And she

39:42

was so pleased and agreed. And

39:42

so over the next couple of

39:46

weeks, we went back and forth

39:46

through text on photo captions

39:49

and titles that we could choose.

39:49

And in the end, I actually

39:52

brought the book to show you.

39:52

It's not even bound yet because

39:56

it's going to be printed on

39:56

Monday. and be bound and just

40:02

seeing Oh, you haven't seen this

40:02

yet. Okay, so this is her book.

40:05

And she called it my little

40:05

corner of the vineyard, a

40:08

memoir. And it is beautiful. It

40:08

has photos. It has a family tree

40:13

in it. And it talks about proms

40:13

and Christmases and summer time

40:18

and recess and dating, and

40:18

marriage and death and divorce

40:23

and all of the good things and

40:23

all of the hard things. And she

40:26

talks about her experience with

40:26

the gospel. The thing that was

40:32

so powerful to me, Talmage is

40:32

she called me just a couple of

40:36

weeks ago and said, Do you have

40:36

a copy of your dad's history?

40:40

Because he passed 15 years ago?

40:40

I said, Oh, no, we haven't

40:44

written any of it yet. My dad

40:44

was a historian. He has volumes

40:48

of journals. But he got

40:48

dementia. In his mid 50s. I'm in

40:54

my mid 50s. I have a lot of life

40:54

left. And I know he felt like he

40:57

did too. And I said, No, you

40:57

know what, we haven't started to

41:01

write that. She says, Okay, what

41:01

about your mom's history who

41:04

passed three years ago? He said,

41:04

No, again, haven't started it.

41:08

And she said, Roxanne, we all

41:08

think we're going to have more

41:12

time. And it is just too risky

41:12

to put it off. She finished her

41:19

stories in January. I got them

41:19

in February, she passed away

41:25

last night. But I have 70 people

41:25

who have pre ordered her book

41:30

from our family, our cousins,

41:30

and they all want it. Aren't we

41:35

glad that she didn't risk it.

41:35

Don't risk writing down these

41:41

personal experiences with God's

41:41

hand in your life from your

41:44

mission. Since your mission, it

41:44

is part of your ministry. Don't

41:49

waste it.

41:51

I love it. There's a

41:51

quote by David McCullough, he is

41:57

my favorite, the best. He's an

41:57

amazing, especially American

42:03

history. Amazing historian. And

42:08

the way he tells it is

42:08

so captivating, and you want to

42:13

listen to it. And he says

42:13

history was never hurt by making

42:18

it something somebody wants to read.

42:22

And it's so true. Your

42:22

story will never be hurt by

42:27

making it something somebody

42:27

wants to listen to or read. And

42:31

so if that means

42:33

taking the time sitting

42:33

down crafting it, leaving out

42:37

meaningless details that don't

42:37

serve the story, or not putting

42:41

good enough details in putting

42:41

the work to crafting your story

42:46

into something somebody actually

42:46

wants to listen to. And read.

42:51

And that is when you can have

42:51

the most impact 7070 books

42:57

ordered already, which is just

42:57

amazing.

43:00

And you know, if

43:00

I might just say this, it might

43:02

have only gone out to her three

43:02

children and a couple of the

43:05

cousins that were close. At the

43:05

end. Yeah, five people. We've

43:09

almost 20 times to that. Because

43:09

we really made it into something

43:15

beautiful. And we said do you

43:15

want to hear it? And everybody

43:18

did? So don't discount? How much

43:18

of an influence you're gonna

43:23

have by sharing your stories. So

43:23

thank you. Yeah.

43:27

Well, Mom, thank you so

43:27

much again, for coming on. Is

43:30

there? Is there a place people

43:30

can go to find you find what

43:36

you're doing with a publishing

43:36

company?

43:38

Sure. Yeah. You

43:38

know, we're gonna have that link

43:41

in there for how to write a

43:41

story of inspiration. So you can

43:44

go watch that it's just a little

43:44

14 minute YouTube video you can

43:46

watch. But they can also go to

43:46

Roxanne thayne.com. That's my

43:50

website. But rooftop

43:50

publishing.org is our publishing

43:55

company. And we do faith

43:55

promoting works of nonfiction

43:58

personal development and family

43:58

history. So yeah, go take a look

44:01

around. And and I also have to

44:01

say it's not just Latter Day

44:04

Saint works. We have works up

44:04

there by those who are of other

44:07

faiths. It's really exciting to

44:07

share our love of Jesus Christ

44:11

with peoples of other faiths.

44:13

Awesome. Thank you so much.

44:15

You're welcome. Thanks, love

44:27

thank you so much for

44:27

listening to this episode of

44:29

released the podcast. My mom is

44:29

amazing. She's an expert, and

44:35

she is so much fun to talk to.

44:35

Honestly, one of my best

44:39

friends, and hopefully has

44:39

inspired you to start writing

44:43

your own story. And again, if

44:43

you write your release to story

44:48

and submit it to me with jewels

44:48

in your pocket at the top, then

44:52

you will be submitted to win the

44:52

book jewels in your pocket. I'm

44:57

really excited to get this out

44:57

to you guys. And And to remember

45:00

God is good and is planning on

45:00

your success and though you've

45:04

been released from your mission

45:04

you've not been released from

45:06

your ministry