0:00

Welcome back to release

0:00

the podcast. This episode is a

0:04

fun one. So I'm really glad I

0:04

was able to get this episode out

0:08

to you guys today because I

0:08

wasn't able to give you a full

0:11

episode last week. My computer

0:11

broke I wasn't able to edit

0:15

this. And so it was great to

0:15

finish this up and get it out to

0:20

you. We talked about how he came

0:20

home early from his mission due

0:23

to COVID and also about some of

0:23

the things he's learned since

0:27

being home. Serving as an FS ye

0:27

counselor, and understanding

0:31

everybody is going through their

0:31

own struggles. Dallin fuller is

0:35

from Mesa, Arizona. He lived

0:35

there for 22 years, is the third

0:40

of six children. He just

0:40

recently moved up to Oregon and

0:43

is currently working to go back

0:43

to Arizona to start school at

0:46

Arizona State University. He is

0:46

studying exercise science and is

0:50

currently planning to graduate

0:50

fall of 2024. Dallin loves any

0:55

type of sport, especially loves

0:55

football and go into the gym. He

1:00

was a counselor at Fs y the

1:00

summer of 2022 and loved every

1:04

minute of it. He loves to be

1:04

around people and excels at

1:07

helping everybody feel included we're not going away 1000 miles

1:24

away Welcome to release the

1:24

podcast. I'm excited to have my

1:34

roommate Dallin fuller on the

1:34

podcast. That's how you say your

1:40

last name.

1:40

Yeah. Like it's really I

1:40

don't think I've ever heard it

1:44

said out loud. Yeah, I don't think we've talked about

1:46

the last names in the house. But

1:48

yeah, you're in my phone is

1:48

Dallin roomy. That's cute. Your

1:52

your Talmage Thayne and mine. So

1:52

glad to be back. I forgot your

1:58

last name before you figured out mine so

2:03

and he was nice enough

2:03

to bring me a fizzy drink. And

2:06

so what is what's in this?

2:08

Sugar free coconut sugar

2:08

free vanilla strawberry puree

2:11

with water and coconut cream on

2:11

top. darktable

2:15

so if you're looking

2:15

for something that is delicious,

2:19

yet not packed with sugar. This

2:19

is your drink right here. What's

2:24

it called?

2:25

The strawberry splash.

2:29

A strawberry splash. I

2:29

like it. Good. Okay. I'm so

2:39

Dallin we've known each other

2:39

for five months. You moved in in

2:45

December?

2:46

January. January.

2:48

Yeah. So it's been like 434. I

2:48

listed like three or four.

2:53

Really? Oh, yeah. Because in

2:53

December now, I got the flu.

2:58

Yeah, I remember January 4, actually.

3:01

That Oh, yeah. Yeah,

3:01

you did now that I'm thinking

3:04

about it.

3:05

So yeah, it's only it's

3:05

three and a half months about

3:08

now. So that's really, it feels

3:08

like I've known what same thing

3:13

with like, my girlfriend is and

3:13

she's just like, we'd like been

3:16

dating for like, it's no, it's

3:16

it hasn't been that long. But

3:19

this time, three months. Yeah. So it feels

3:20

like we've been here forever.

3:22

So well. You actually

3:22

started dating her the day you

3:25

moved in? Yeah, that is amazing.

3:29

We talked for like a month. Like we got to the point we're like, okay, like we know

3:31

we're gonna date. It's like, just like when we get there.

3:33

We're just decided to or yeah,

3:35

when you guys when you

3:35

told us. I wasn't there when he

3:39

told that everybody but tough

3:39

was like Talmage everybody in

3:43

this house has a girlfriend

3:43

except for me. And you? I'm

3:46

like, I know a

3:47

couple of weeks later, you're talking to somebody and tough like, what the heck.

3:53

But then he's like, and

3:53

Dallin freaking moves to Utah

3:56

and gets a girlfriend the same

3:56

day. Right? Yeah, dude, is he's

4:00

on it.

4:01

And I was like, I like

4:01

to bring it like tough. You just

4:03

like, left because I was like,

4:03

Oh my God. They're like, okay,

4:06

like they're I have roommates.

4:06

Cool. And then everybody's gone.

4:09

I'm like, sitting by myself. I

4:09

have nothing to do. I'm all

4:11

unpacked.

4:12

This is Leia place. It was.

4:14

I was like, Okay, this

4:14

is fun. I'm just waiting for

4:16

busy Alpha work now until she

4:16

can come in like, Go on. Go on a

4:20

date. Yeah, it looks good. I was

4:20

like, Okay, we're Bye, guys. I

4:23

guess.

4:24

That's so funny. Yeah.

4:24

Yeah, dude, it was fun. It was

4:27

fun having you move in because I

4:27

felt like you. I felt like you

4:33

brought a really good energy

4:33

into the apartment.

4:37

I wouldn't. I don't know

4:37

how it was before.

4:40

I think you did. Okay,

4:40

here's the thing before you came

4:45

TOF was away in Spain for three

4:45

months. I remember that. I was

4:49

working a lot. I never saw the

4:49

roommate. When I was home.

4:53

Everybody was in the room. We

4:53

didn't Oh, yeah. 100% Yeah, we

4:56

didn't really talk now. And it's

4:56

not that we didn't like each

4:59

other's We're all doing our own

4:59

thing. And the TOF came back

5:02

that was sick and then you came

5:02

in and the culture of the

5:07

roomies was a lot better at that

5:07

point. So you're a big part of

5:10

it.

5:12

I'm just happy to be here.

5:14

You're here. You're

5:14

here. Well, Dallin, could you

5:18

let's get into your story. Can

5:18

you tell us a quick summary

5:24

about like, who you are, where

5:24

you're from? And why you decided

5:28

to go on a mission? Yeah.

5:30

So I'm from Mesa,

5:30

Arizona, born and raised, I've

5:33

lived there my entire life.

5:33

Moving appears like the first

5:37

time I've ever been away from

5:37

except for my mission, like I

5:39

was out for four months. One

5:39

thing that my parents just

5:44

really instilled in me is just

5:44

be being a person of your word.

5:47

If you're gonna say something

5:47

that you better, like you better

5:49

do it just because like, at the

5:49

end of the day, your words what

5:53

you have. And I don't know, just

5:53

when somebody tells gossip or

5:58

other people will tell me stuff.

5:58

And I'm like, okay, that they're

6:00

going to do that. Like my

6:00

parents instilled that, like

6:02

that's how the world works. Like

6:02

you say what you do? How just

6:05

like confused me? Like, why

6:05

didn't this person like they

6:07

said, they're gonna do that? Yeah. Why did they do that? I was like, so that's something I

6:09

had to learn, but they just did

6:11

really good. It's just like,

6:11

just, like, instilling on hard

6:16

work and, and just being like, a

6:16

word person and like,

6:22

being true to your word. Yeah.

6:25

That's how you say that. I was

6:25

like, trying to word you use the

6:27

word integrity, but it didn't really fit in there. Yeah. Being true to your word. And to to

6:29

like, who you are. A person of

6:33

integrity. Exactly. Yeah.

6:36

That's, that's a solid

6:36

lesson. That's not taught as

6:40

much.

6:40

Yeah, I really

6:40

appreciate it. And then just

6:43

them just teach me like, hey,

6:43

like, there's you can have needs

6:47

in your life, like food, water,

6:47

this this, like, those are

6:50

needed. Like, other stuff like

6:50

you don't, that you don't need,

6:53

but you want. They taught me

6:53

really, really good, like the

6:55

difference between needs and

6:55

wants. And it's helped me like

6:59

throughout my life, and so yeah,

6:59

I think those are probably like,

7:02

they're really two biggest

7:02

things I reflect on like, yeah,

7:05

those are really made a difference in means just like being able to work hard and

7:06

nobody needs. Yeah,

7:11

did that sick. And so

7:11

what made you want to serve a

7:16

mission?

7:17

I never wanted to serve

7:17

a mission. Everyone was going

7:19

up. I like, I was like, I don't

7:19

want to go. Yeah, I was like,

7:23

no, no, you're honest with it.

7:23

Yeah. I like I don't really know

7:27

what really clicked. It was

7:27

like, Why did you? Like when I

7:32

got my picture? I was like, oh,

7:32

like, sure mission. Like, okay,

7:34

like, cool. Like, I guess I like

7:34

I'm gonna go then. I don't

7:39

really remember. Questions. I

7:39

remember just been like, okay,

7:42

like, this is something I want

7:42

to do now. So like, I grew up,

7:45

like, never want to go like all

7:45

throughout high school, and I'm

7:47

like, Okay, I'll go. Kinda like,

7:47

I know, this is something I

7:52

should do. And I'm gonna do it

7:52

kind of thing. So I just was

7:57

like, Okay, I'm gonna like

7:57

something about me. I made the

7:59

decision. Just that quick. I

7:59

couldn't pinpoint like a time

8:01

like, Yes, this is this is for

8:01

me. This one. Yeah. But you're

8:04

just like, Yeah, but one thing

8:04

about me like my parents, like,

8:07

like, once I put my mind to something like, there's no changing it. It's like, only I

8:08

can change my mind about doing

8:11

something. Yeah. And so like, so

8:11

like, I was like, Okay, I'm

8:14

gonna do it. And so I just did

8:14

what I needed to do to do it. I

8:16

want to leave like right after high school, like that summer, like my parents like, Oh, okay.

8:18

So part of the mission is you're

8:21

paying, you're gonna pay for a

8:21

majority of it. Yeah, kind of

8:24

thing. Like, she was like, okay,

8:24

so I didn't go end up going till

8:28

like November later that year.

8:28

Just because I said have a ton

8:30

of money. And like, I remember like, telling us, I was like, oh, yeah, like I say this, like

8:32

up this woman was like, you save

8:35

that much. I was like, yeah,

8:35

that's all me. He's like, okay,

8:39

cool. My parents cover the rest

8:39

of what I couldn't do. So. Yeah,

8:45

that was really cool.

8:46

That is sick. Yeah, not

8:46

not a ton of people have the

8:50

grit to save up for deletion.

8:54

It was a summer, like I

8:54

was working construction. Like,

8:57

some houses, I'd have to wake up

8:57

at 345 in the morning, usually a

9:00

week before and be there. Leave

9:00

my house by 430 and then get

9:04

there at five and start and work

9:04

till like two or three days in

9:08

the Arizona sun. There's a

9:08

couple times or like two times I

9:13

remember like, I just got heat

9:13

exhaustion. Yeah, just like my

9:15

boss. Like, I got 110 degrees.

9:15

Sometimes like a heatwave. 115

9:20

Oh my gosh. Yeah. So

9:20

it's a lot harder when I started

9:24

sweating it like 75 You're

9:24

telling

9:26

me I was more like five

9:26

by Friday. I was like, This is

9:28

disgusting. That's like a brisk

9:28

nice like, I was like seven

9:33

years. I'm like, okay, like, up like,

9:33

Hi, I'm sweating. Yeah, that's

9:37

yeah. 15 minutes when I walk

9:37

outside and like five minutes.

9:39

It's like, okay, I'm done. Yeah,

9:39

so, let's go to the pool. Then

9:42

you like get out of the pool. It's like, okay, um, that's fine.

9:44

But yeah, that's not so

9:44

you saved the money. And where

9:48

did you get called?

9:49

I got called to Natal

9:49

Brazil. Yeah, it's sick. So they

9:54

just got a temple announced there too, which is really exciting. So yeah, hopefully I

9:56

can go back

9:58

so you know, you

9:58

probably don't need You know

10:00

when it's gonna get built? Yeah,

10:00

no idea, honestly. Yeah. You

10:03

don't really know any of those

10:03

details. Yes, early on. That is

10:08

so sick. Okay, so you got called

10:08

there. And that was in November.

10:14

Yeah, I left in

10:14

November. Oh, you left to Nova.

10:17

I got called in like

10:18

August, August, August,

10:18

September. And so you'd love to

10:22

November

10:22

of 20 2019. I

10:24

left right. Yeah. Okay,

10:24

sick. And did you go to the

10:28

Provo MTC? No,

10:29

I'd never been there.

10:29

I've been I went to the Brazil

10:31

MTC. So I flew there was there

10:31

for I was there for six weeks. I

10:36

was there. I got there the day

10:36

before Thanksgiving. So I was

10:39

there for Thanksgiving,

10:39

Christmas, New Years, and then

10:41

went to the field like a week

10:41

after New Year's. And then I was

10:44

in the field from like January

10:44

to March. I got home March 28. I

10:52

left November twice. So

10:52

basically exactly like four

10:55

months. Do you there?

10:56

That's not? Yeah,

10:56

March. March 2020. Is when

11:00

released started. Oh, really?

11:00

That's crazy. Yeah, I got back.

11:06

Yeah, seriously. Why did tell me

11:06

tell me the events of how all of

11:13

that conspired. So you were in

11:13

the MTC and then eventually, you

11:20

got sent home because of COVID.

11:20

Yeah, like, how did that happen?

11:25

Um, well, you know,

11:25

like, you people and people got

11:29

by home, they had a choice like,

11:29

oh, you can like stay for like a

11:31

year and then go back out after

11:31

like, figure out life or just

11:34

like wait for reassignment and

11:34

go. Because I chose not to go

11:38

back out. And the reason like,

11:38

there's like several experiences

11:41

leading up to that they helped

11:41

me like, make that decision. So

11:45

like, the first thing that I

11:45

remember is like the the last

11:47

week in the MPC, like for our

11:47

PD, we went to we would go to

11:53

the temple, obviously. And the

11:53

time we went to, like went and

11:58

then like I was remember sitting

11:58

there waiting in the, before you

12:01

go on the slush room, I was

12:01

sitting there waiting my turn to

12:05

go and I just I just want to get

12:05

into distinct this distinct

12:07

thought of like, Would you be

12:07

okay, going home early, and I

12:12

was just kind of like, like,

12:12

that's it. That was actually

12:14

like a big fear of mine. Because

12:14

like, I told you like, like, in

12:17

the back of my mind, like, I knew, like when I grew up, like I didn't want to be I don't want

12:19

to be a missionary. And I

12:22

remember that I'm like, okay,

12:22

like, that's like, my family

12:24

has, like a history of like,

12:24

depression, anxiety, like

12:26

totally cool. Totally fine,

12:26

normal, normal. I really came

12:29

home early because of it. And so

12:29

like, in the bedroom, I'm like

12:31

that, that's kind of scary,

12:31

like, come home, that's in the

12:33

back of my mind. And so I'm

12:33

like, like, Okay, now like, this

12:40

is like actually happening.

12:40

Like, it's like I like, it

12:43

depends on things, but like,

12:43

Would you be okay, if you went

12:47

home early, and I was like,

12:47

yeah, like, if that's what you

12:50

need me to do, if that's what

12:53

your plan is, is like a conversation. Yeah.

12:55

So yeah, sometimes I

12:55

feel it's a it's a conversation,

12:58

especially, it's like, I need to

12:58

tell you something, you know,

13:00

it's like, we're gonna we're gonna have like, a little chat right now. So as when I was I

13:02

was like, we're gonna have a

13:04

chat. So like, just have this

13:04

conversation like, okay, like,

13:07

like, like, if you need me to.

13:07

Like, that's, that's what I'll

13:12

do. Like, I trust you.

13:15

And that must have been

13:15

hard because your family all

13:18

growing up, instilled in you

13:18

that when you say you're gonna

13:21

do something, you're gonna do it

13:21

and you're gonna see it through.

13:23

Yeah. And so going out on a

13:23

mission, and then having the

13:27

thought, are you okay? Leaving

13:27

is like, That's hard. That's

13:33

hard, because you're like, I

13:33

said, I was gonna do this. I

13:36

need to finish it through. Yeah.

13:36

Yeah.

13:38

I actually thought about

13:38

that. Because I'm like, my

13:40

family is also like, we're,

13:40

they're also like, realistic is

13:43

like, hey, like, stuff happens,

13:43

like, see through to the end. If

13:48

there's other stuff that come

13:48

up, like, that's okay. Yeah,

13:50

things happen. Yeah, life life

13:50

happens. So it's like, anything

13:53

like that. So we are we do nice.

13:59

So I have one of the fields

13:59

like, was that your kid? That

14:02

happened kind of thing? Well, am

14:02

I not? I'm not even sure if it's

14:06

gonna happen or whatever. So I'm

14:06

on the field. And I have I have

14:10

this distinct dream that I like,

14:10

remember. I get to sell in the

14:14

dream. I get a call from my

14:14

state president. He's like, hail

14:16

the folder like you're coming.

14:16

You're coming home. Like you're

14:20

we're you're getting reassigned

14:20

to Mesa, Arizona. I was like,

14:22

okay, cool, like, on my way. So

14:22

I go there. I remember in the

14:25

dream there being three distinct

14:25

languages. English because I

14:30

speak English and Portuguese,

14:30

because Portuguese from Brazil,

14:33

and then there's a third language that I couldn't understand. I couldn't

14:35

completely understand it know what they're saying. But I

14:37

understood, but I understood

14:40

what they're saying if that

14:40

makes any sense. Yeah. And then

14:42

they could understand what I was

14:42

saying. And so that happens, and

14:47

then we get the call, like, Oh,

14:47

hey, you're, you're going home.

14:51

You know? COVID like so. All

14:51

like American missionaries

14:54

against that home like okay,

14:54

cool. And so we're alone over

14:57

the home and I just remember

14:57

that this feeling of like You're

15:00

done. Like, like, you're not,

15:00

you're not gonna back out on

15:03

mission. I like people like, oh,

15:03

like, like, what are you gonna

15:06

think resign? I'm like I don't I

15:06

don't think I'm gonna back out.

15:09

I was like I said, like the feeling I had ever like

15:11

I was scared St. Scary

15:11

saying that to them

15:15

kind of like not really

15:15

actually. Like it was like,

15:17

okay, like I don't really like

15:17

there's just like a weird

15:20

feeling. I'm like, okay, like,

15:20

that's a weird feeling like,

15:22

it's the say, Yeah, I feel like

15:22

I'm done. I'm like, Okay. Like,

15:27

I don't know what that means.

15:27

And so like I get home. I leave

15:31

Monday night from Brazil and I

15:31

get home Saturday morning in

15:38

Arizona time. Yeah, like sets

15:38

and 7am. So I get home. The

15:46

first thing I remember doing is

15:46

like, I was just sitting there.

15:49

I was like, I had just been like

15:49

working my butt off like the

15:51

past like three months. I am so

15:51

bored right now. So I remember

15:56

the first thing I did after I

15:56

took a shower was I mowed the

16:00

lawn and my

16:01

Wow, my

16:02

my slides,

16:03

dude jumping right back

16:03

into the chore. No, I was like,

16:06

I didn't waste any time. No,

16:08

I like sitting there

16:08

with my mom that day. I'm like a

16:10

mom, could I like the lawn?

16:10

She's like, she's like, Yeah,

16:15

sure those actress mow the

16:15

front. Exactly. My brother's

16:18

like, just mow the front yard.

16:18

And he can do the back. I was

16:22

like, Cool. So I was a Saturday.

16:22

And then the next next

16:30

Wednesday, I was we found out

16:30

that that was the day I was

16:32

getting released. And so I

16:32

remember just like chilling. My

16:38

son, my family was watching like

16:38

a movie. And I'm just like, I

16:42

was like, stay on the side, you

16:42

know, because of like it just

16:45

like if you're gonna watch a

16:45

movie cool, like, just within

16:48

the regulations, whatever. And

16:48

so I'm like sitting there and

16:51

then I have the distinct impression. It's like other filler go read your go read your

16:52

scriptures for last time as

16:55

missionary. So I go back, I go

16:55

back in my room. I like it said

16:59

like a little desk, go open my

16:59

scriptures. And I'm like, read

17:01

and I'm like, wait, that was

17:01

like, that's like a thought I

17:03

had kind of thing. And I'm like,

17:03

saying, say your brain like,

17:07

like God, like what? What does

17:07

that mean? Like, just kind of

17:10

like, I'm done. It's like, Yeah,

17:10

I'm like, Okay, sounds good.

17:13

Sounds good. And I was like,

17:13

Okay, if like, I have like,

17:17

general conference coming up this weekend as it goes, okay. If I if I get a confirmation?

17:19

He's like, Yeah, like, that's

17:22

totally okay. It's big decision,

17:22

like understand, kind of thing.

17:27

So I remember I got released

17:27

that night. I haven't told my

17:30

parents hadn't told anybody yet.

17:30

I remember going into that

17:33

weekend with that, that question

17:33

my mind and just I can't really

17:35

wish talk, have it written drill

17:35

somewhere. But it's like, you're

17:39

basically confirmation of like,

17:39

yeah, it's done. You've done

17:42

your time. And I was like, okay,

17:42

and they hadn't really hit me

17:46

yet. You know, I was like, okay,

17:46

cool. Like, I'm done with my

17:48

mission, whatever. And so, I

17:48

remember talking to my parents

17:54

about it go man, I'm like, yo,

17:54

like, I gotta talk to you guys.

17:57

Like about this thing? Like,

17:57

okay, like, what is it? I'm

17:59

like, I'm not. I'm deciding not

17:59

to go back out. And they're

18:04

like, like, it's not part of the

18:04

options. Like they give you

18:07

options. Like, that's not part of it, like Kellyanne kind of thing. I'm like, Yeah, I know. I

18:08

know.

18:10

I'm doing you're going

18:10

off script.

18:14

Hire me on script

18:14

anyways. And I remember my mom

18:18

be like, like, what? Like,

18:18

you're like, I was I was

18:20

learning language really, really

18:20

well. Like I like I remember

18:23

just being like, super like, oh,

18:23

like, I'm doing so but my

18:25

present is like painting is

18:25

like, Dude, you're you're full.

18:27

You're doing great. And so I'm

18:27

like, like, you're even learning

18:30

a little show. So well, you're

18:30

doing so yeah, like a lot. Yeah,

18:33

like six baptisms. And like I

18:33

know, and like, but I'm not

18:37

going back out. My dad's like,

18:37

well, like, I will just tell you

18:43

wait for a confirmation like I

18:43

already have already got it.

18:45

Like, it's, it's a no, you're

18:45

not gonna back out. And so

18:49

they're like, Okay, well, you

18:49

got you gotta tell your bishop

18:52

take president. You gotta do

18:52

that. Like, okay, call me Bucha

18:54

proctor him? Nicole my sick

18:54

president. He's like, I like

18:59

your Are you sure? Like, I don't

18:59

have to send in like a final

19:03

note. Like you can think about I

19:03

was like, no, like, send it in,

19:06

like my mind's made up like

19:06

that. Like, when I make my mind

19:09

like, it's there. Like you're

19:09

not changing like minds made up

19:11

like, this is what's happening

19:11

is okay, so he calls my parents

19:15

I remember like, later on mom's

19:15

like, hey, like comes up to me,

19:17

like, hey, like, I know that you

19:17

have a relationship with God.

19:23

And that you won't do anything

19:23

like this without his approval.

19:28

So just like I just want you to

19:28

make a call. And then there must

19:32

have been nice. So it

19:32

was relieving. You know, have

19:34

your mom trust you? And be like,

19:34

yeah, hey, look, I know you

19:40

wouldn't do this for no reason.

19:40

Yeah. And to have that weight

19:44

relieved from you just a little

19:44

bit to know that. Even if other

19:49

people don't understand, like my

19:49

stake president might not or

19:54

some people in the ward might

19:54

not. Yeah, my mom does. Yeah, my

19:58

parents do. Yeah, it's

19:59

like I was like my mom.

19:59

Is my back kind of thing because

20:01

like my my sick President calls

20:01

like, hey, like just want to

20:03

talk to you about dialing the moms like no like you don't understand like, says say the

20:05

man behind this leg down knows

20:09

what he's doing like he he knows

20:09

a spirit kind of thing. Yeah.

20:13

He's like okay, cool and so

20:13

that's and then that's like a

20:21

story of like me coming home.

20:23

Yeah, dude that's not

20:23

yeah and the crazy thing is is

20:29

like you probably felt pretty

20:29

isolated I'm just guessing I'm

20:34

just shooting so could be wrong

20:36

yeah so like not not I

20:36

was dating this girl before

20:38

admission we broke up and then

20:38

like, once I decided that was I

20:41

was like not talking to her till

20:41

like I knew what I was doing

20:44

like mancha make decision

20:44

because of this girl. And so

20:49

after that, I started talking to her again. And so I was like, I had friends that got reassigned

20:50

it and left. And so like,

20:56

especially when they left, I'm

20:56

like that girl i i broke up with

21:00

her. We broke up like life was

21:00

just taking a stand for

21:03

different ways. Yeah. And so

21:03

like, I just remember like,

21:06

feeling like, like, why? I just

21:06

remember being so angry like

21:13

that now the reason you cry,

21:13

but, but I just remember being

21:16

so so mad. I'm like, okay, and I

21:16

remember like, one time,

21:20

specifically, like we're at like

21:20

a family reunion. And it's

21:24

happened like several times

21:24

where I'm just like, I shouldn't

21:26

even be here. Like something

21:26

happened. I just I got upset.

21:28

Like, what up to like, the room

21:28

I was staying and like, I

21:30

shouldn't even be here. I should

21:30

be on a mission right now. Like,

21:32

I literally shouldn't be home for like, another year and a half. You know, that feeling

21:34

like it's like weird because

21:37

like yet, I don't have people

21:37

telling me like, like, you'll

21:40

make out now like, oh, like I

21:40

get it. Like, I wouldn't do that

21:43

either. If I were in your shoes,

21:43

your situation be hard to go

21:45

back out. Like, I want to go

21:45

back out. Like I didn't tell

21:48

them that like yeah, okay. Like,

21:48

like, how am I supposed to

21:51

explain this person? Like, I

21:51

want to go back out and I want

21:54

to serve and stuff. And so like,

21:54

just like really hard for like a

21:58

year. I remember getting really

21:58

angry and not falling away from

22:01

the church. But like, the house

22:01

I had kind of held away, you

22:04

know? Yeah. And so, it Yeah, I

22:04

felt pretty isolated. Just like,

22:08

no, and the thing is really

22:08

isolating is like Satan's really

22:12

get away. There's, you know, I

22:12

think the thing that just like

22:14

really killed is like, not that

22:14

people were judging me, but I

22:18

just felt like so much less of a

22:18

person from like doing that, you

22:24

know? So I haven't like talked

22:24

about this in a long time. But

22:29

like getting and getting in the

22:29

details, you know? Yeah, it's

22:31

like usually like service service of like, oh, yeah, like, I love my car, whatever you feel

22:33

like I think, yeah. So yeah, it

22:38

was it was hard. And I was angry

22:38

for like a while. Yeah. That's

22:42

like, why.

22:45

So, like, the crazy

22:45

thing was is you didn't want to

22:50

go out first. You went out, you

22:50

went out though. In spite of it,

22:54

you learn to love it. And then

22:54

then it was taken from you. And

22:59

you're like, I changed my whole

22:59

mind for this. And now it's

23:03

taken from me and I don't have a

23:03

real good explanation.

23:06

I had no explanation. I

23:06

literally still to this day, I

23:09

still don't know why. Yeah.

23:09

Like, why is like no, like,

23:11

Okay, I got easier to be like,

23:11

because like, that experience I

23:15

had is just just trust me, it

23:15

was really hard to trust. And

23:18

it's like, there's no clear

23:18

path. Yeah, you know. So it just

23:22

took a lot of time to like, figure that out and be like, okay, like, I know, like, I

23:24

don't know what reason right

23:27

now. Like, I remember praying

23:27

for a reason I don't really

23:30

pretty much like, right, I'm like, I've done the poor. It's like, it's been good. Like it

23:32

hurt has sought, but I'm like, I

23:36

learned. And I still trust God.

23:36

You know? Yeah.

23:42

That is amazing. And I

23:42

can only imagine the, the hurt,

23:51

like you said, you like it's not

23:51

that people were judging you.

23:53

It's just that you felt less

23:53

because it's what you were

23:57

preparing for. It's what you

23:57

worked for and there, and it's

24:00

what every young man is expected

24:00

to do. And there's a there's a

24:06

big pressure and commanded to do

24:06

even. And then you have a you

24:14

have a specific impression and

24:14

command from God that says, No,

24:20

you're not going out. But I'm

24:20

not going to tell you why. And

24:23

so you're not going to really

24:23

have an explanation for people

24:26

when they ask. And they're going

24:26

to try to help they're going to

24:30

try to say, Ah, it's hard

24:30

anyway, like, I want it. And so

24:36

it's a burden that has been put

24:36

on you. And you don't know why

24:41

that's the hardest part because

24:41

when people have a burden if

24:45

they have a why they can handle

24:45

it. Yes.

24:48

Seems like feasible for

24:48

some reason. I remember like my

24:51

friend, like he was like my

24:51

student like I think about

24:53

coming home. He's like, What do

24:53

you think Mike? Hey, like, if

24:55

you come home cool, like, I won't judge you like that's totally cool. But I'm like, just

24:57

realize that like Mission is

25:00

hard. But life is hard. Like,

25:00

yeah, missions like everything's

25:05

paid for you like, you know

25:05

what, how much money is coming?

25:08

Let's come in, like, when it's

25:08

coming like sure there's like a

25:11

lot of unknowns like I have to

25:11

find this person but like, it's

25:15

it's really set up for you it's

25:15

set up for you to succeed. Yeah,

25:18

even if like you don't find

25:18

somebody to baptize, you're

25:21

still succeeding, you're still

25:21

growing. And that's success, you

25:23

know. But I remember telling him

25:23

like, I remember I've told us a

25:27

couple of people like, it's

25:27

like, because I always had it

25:29

was like, mission is hard. Like,

25:29

that's all you hear is like, no,

25:31

like life life is really, really

25:31

hard to Yeah, it's like, Have

25:34

fun trying to like, but like,

25:34

support yourself initially.

25:37

Because like, like, I've we've

25:37

talked before, like, people that

25:40

are people call them like they

25:40

have to do on their own. They

25:42

don't have they don't have like,

25:42

financial support system. Yeah.

25:45

You know, like, I was like, like, I was like, you have to like, have a family to come back

25:47

to like there to support me. But

25:49

like, life is hard in that

25:49

sense, you know, so that

25:53

it's yeah, it's

25:53

incredibly different called my

25:56

brother he served in South

25:56

Africa. And a lot of the African

26:01

missionaries that served in his

26:01

mission would save their weekly

26:06

allowance that they got from the

26:06

mission. He was like, take it as

26:09

saving cattle as they could and

26:09

save the cash. And because they

26:15

wanted to take it home. And

26:15

technically, they weren't

26:19

supposed to, but you can totally

26:19

understand why. Yeah, they

26:22

would. That kind of like a side

26:22

story. Really cool story,

26:28

though. There's this one

26:28

missionary who had done that his

26:32

entire mission. And he was in he

26:32

was really good missionary,

26:37

really hard worker. And near the

26:37

end of his mission, he had saved

26:41

up so much money, and he had it

26:41

in the in this jar. And I don't

26:48

know exactly what happened. I

26:48

can't remember the story. But

26:51

Mitchell told me he had a change

26:51

of heart. And he wanted to

26:56

consecrate everything to the

26:56

Lord. And so he went up to the

27:02

senior couples in the mission

27:02

home and handed this giant jar

27:06

of money that he had saved over

27:06

and said, Hey, use this to help

27:11

the other missionaries that are

27:11

coming in. It's just like,

27:15

absolutely amazing. And he's

27:15

gonna have to return home with

27:20

nothing. And so oh my gosh, it's

27:20

just like, amazing story. But it

27:27

kind of shows the desperation of

27:27

a lot of these missionaries that

27:32

come home to nothing. It's just sad.

27:33

It is sad. Like, even

27:33

for me, it's like it was like

27:35

hard because like, I don't know,

27:35

if you came home, my parents

27:38

like sat me down. I feel like

27:38

okay, like, by the way, like,

27:41

here's some of the expectations

27:41

that we'd like talk about after

27:43

you get that hump back home free admission. So we're gonna talk about it knocks you back home.

27:45

And it's like, you have to pay

27:47

for this, this, this, this,

27:47

this, you probably should think

27:49

about this, this this and I'm

27:49

like, wow, like, what did I do?

27:52

Well, it's just like, boom,

27:52

throw it away. I think that's

27:54

like, really, really hard to

27:54

like, what do you it's like,

27:58

everything is coming at once

27:58

you're like, I don't even know

28:00

how to handle this. Like, I didn't have to I don't have to deal with this. And so now it's

28:02

all on me now. Yeah, like,

28:06

there's help, but like, it's

28:06

definitely like, it's all on me.

28:09

And it's like, for a lot of people, it's hard to ask for help. You know, it's like, okay,

28:11

like, What the What's going on?

28:14

Like, what am I doing? Like, how

28:14

do I do this? Yeah, figure it

28:18

out. You got this. You got this

28:21

champ.

28:23

Man, that's rough. So

28:23

what did you do? Um,

28:26

so I didn't work for a

28:26

little bit. And then my mom was

28:28

doing swim lessons. She did she

28:28

she still does it. She teaches

28:31

it during the summers and she

28:31

does a really good job. So I

28:35

helped with her for a bit until

28:36

he's never lost a kid.

28:38

Yeah, they'll they'll keep their head flown through. That's great. Yeah, she's

28:40

awesome. Like, really does a

28:43

great job. And so I eventually

28:43

got a job for this pest control

28:50

company. And I was spraying for

28:50

them was like a local one in

28:53

Arizona. Soup like, good job.

28:53

Like, it was good for like, what

28:59

I was doing, like what I needed.

28:59

I was I was going back into

29:02

school at the community college

29:02

in Mesa. And so they would work

29:06

with my school schedules. I

29:06

would work Monday through Friday

29:09

and every other Saturday, and I

29:09

would do school Tuesday and

29:11

Thursday. And so I did that for

29:11

like a year and like a month or

29:15

two. I quit October of 2021.

29:22

Okay, yeah, yeah.

29:25

So that's what I did.

29:25

Hammers. Yeah. Pest Control.

29:29

That's what has control. Oh,

29:29

yes. Whatever. Say like, yeah,

29:32

selling stocks and like, yeah, I

29:32

spray they're like, how did you

29:34

do? Like yeah, I didn't Arizona

29:34

to like what I'm like, yeah, the

29:37

summers were terrible.

29:39

Dragging that hose around. Oh, yeah.

29:41

I had a backpack. Oh,

29:41

yeah. To back. Yeah, I remember

29:44

the first week I like I like the

29:44

first day I got back. I just

29:47

like lit up my mom's bed and

29:47

she's like, right because like I

29:49

was my body was so tired. Yeah,

29:49

I just Oh, yeah. 100% Dude,

29:54

crazy. Crazy. It was good

29:54

though. It was a good job for me

29:58

like they try. They treated me

29:58

pretty well. That's good. So it

30:01

was a good job.

30:02

And it paid for all the

30:02

bills that your parents were

30:04

like, Okay, now you have to pay for it.

30:05

Yeah, I got a full ride

30:05

scholarship to the to the

30:08

community college. So I didn't

30:08

pay for school for two years.

30:10

Oh, so I got my Associates. And

30:10

then yeah, the year at ASU and

30:17

then I moved here.

30:18

Dude, that's sick. And

30:18

then you ended up in 2022. You

30:24

ended up doing EF y

30:26

or x y? Yeah. Yeah. They

30:28

changed it. Yeah. Yeah.

30:28

How was that?

30:30

It? It was probably

30:30

like, one of the happiest

30:35

moments of my life. Really. I

30:35

was very, very happy during I

30:40

worked nine weeks. And so it I

30:40

was, it was amazing. I worked in

30:46

where was it? So I was in. My

30:46

first week I was in Provo, my

30:51

next three weeks were in College

30:51

Station, Texas, which is where

30:55

Texas a&m is theirs. And that

30:55

was two weeks in San Antonio.

30:58

Yeah. And then out of

30:58

California, as a family, have a

31:02

family vacation there. And then

31:02

I would did to two more weeks of

31:05

Provo, and we get salt lake.

31:05

Dang. Yeah. So I was I was going

31:09

off summer. I loved it. Like, I

31:09

was so tired. I got home, but

31:12

like I was just so happy and

31:12

like, working with those kids.

31:15

And I love I love working with

31:15

the youth, especially like one

31:19

of their like, like the 16 year

31:19

olds. I love the 13. And like,

31:23

especially this because you can

31:23

just, there's at that point,

31:25

it's like they're they're just

31:25

understanding more, and they're

31:27

realizing how much more like, I bet you connect with

31:28

them so well though, as well.

31:32

I'm like, like, I'm a goofball. You're like,

31:35

you're like a big kid.

31:39

Like Joe was, like,

31:39

you're literally 12. And like,

31:41

Yes, I know. You know, and then

31:41

like, but like, but also I'm

31:44

like, I know how to be serious.

31:44

And I know when the appropriate

31:46

time is. So just like a really

31:46

good like, the best of both

31:49

worlds kind of situation. Yeah.

31:49

So I yeah, I love this kids.

31:54

That's so cool. Was

31:54

there? Was there an experience?

31:57

Or was there an experience at EF

31:57

y that you can point to? And

32:02

you're like, this kind of sums

32:02

up like my overall experience at

32:06

UF Why was there that really

32:06

well, I want to what did you fly

32:10

for? FS? Why sorry? FS? Why,

32:10

like, was there was there a kid

32:15

that like had a cool

32:15

transformation? Or did you have

32:20

your own kind of realization or

32:20

revelation? Or? Yeah, tell me,

32:26

if you had a cool experience,

32:28

there's like a couple things that come to mind about like, one thing that I really

32:29

learned and then just this one

32:32

story of like, my second week,

32:32

on Thursdays, like you dress up,

32:36

you know, just same same as you

32:36

why just have like, study like

32:39

document. And for this this

32:39

year, we studied the story of

32:42

Joseph Smith. So we had like

32:42

different excerpts from

32:45

different passages. We went

32:45

through all those like, I can't

32:49

remember, I have to remember that we had them teach each other like what I did, or like

32:50

we just like talked about

32:52

together. And I had like, um,

32:52

teach, teach or talk talk and

32:57

we're chatting, teaching. I

32:57

remember is this the sides,

33:01

like, don't pray right now.

33:04

And like, that's, like

33:04

one of those conversations and

33:07

yeah,

33:08

like, it's like, it's

33:08

like, this is gonna happen, you

33:10

better do it. Like, okay, cool.

33:10

So like, like, Okay, I'm gonna

33:13

do it. So I talked to them,

33:13

like, hey, like, I just want to

33:16

give you guys time right now,

33:16

like, if you have to even do

33:18

things that you should be doing

33:18

this week, if you put your heart

33:21

and like I told him at the beginning that week, every single every single group, I'm

33:22

like, you'll get what out,

33:26

you'll get what you put into it,

33:26

say, and I told him, like,

33:28

everything will live, wherever

33:28

you put into it, you will get

33:31

like, if you have been doing those things that we talked about, like doing this, this

33:33

this ABC, like paying attention

33:36

in the classes like doing like

33:36

actually doing a scripture study

33:39

in the morning when we have the

33:39

time for, for doing it. Like if

33:42

you've been doing those things

33:42

with real intent, like Joe

33:45

Smith, like you're gonna get an

33:45

answer. And I remember like,

33:49

okay, pray, I'm just like, Holy

33:49

Father, like you better like

33:56

feel something. I have a rainbow

33:56

here because I just put my neck

34:00

on the line for you. Just get by

34:00

like and so I'm like praying

34:04

like we're walking around the

34:04

room. And this one kid this this

34:09

one kid like he also taught me

34:09

the next day about something I

34:11

was like really touching. He's

34:11

like, I prayed in the eyes

34:16

equity, like Thank you. Like, I

34:16

got an answer like awesome. And

34:21

that those that Thursday night,

34:21

we have testimony meeting, I

34:24

remember bawling my testimony

34:24

because so my kids came up like

34:28

I came up with like some of

34:28

those that were like when we had

34:31

time for reflect and review that

34:31

night, we just go back and talk

34:33

about the day and talk about like things you learned kind of thing. Is there that like on

34:35

those nights I would give the

34:38

kids like the opportunity that didn't have a shared testament like show Jasmine if they want

34:40

because it's kind of it's kind of Yeah, like there's 50 like

34:42

100 1500 Kids everyone's like,

34:44

okay, yeah, Jesus, it's scary.

34:44

It's terrifying. Yeah. I can't

34:49

remember is like during that but

34:49

like I remember like several

34:51

those kids getting up and be

34:51

like, when you give us that

34:55

time, I got an answer. There's

34:55

like three or four kids. And I'm

34:59

like This is so cool that it was

34:59

amazing. And that's that kid

35:03

that first walked out. He just

35:03

had like, the next day. He's

35:08

like, comes up to me. He's like,

35:08

and he I can tell at the

35:11

beginning the week he did really

35:11

good friends. But like, as the

35:13

week went on, he just kind of

35:13

struggled with like, feeling a

35:16

part of something, you know, I

35:16

noticed this and he comes up to

35:20

me Friday. And he's like,

35:20

because I'm the kind of guy you

35:23

walk through the hallways, I literally say hi to everybody. That's how it was in high

35:25

school. And we're like, walking

35:27

on our high school. And I was

35:27

like, like, why do you know,

35:29

everybody kind of thing? And

35:29

he's just, like, sits down. He's

35:32

like, how do you make so many

35:32

friends? And I'm like, I don't

35:38

know. Like, it's just something

35:38

it's always been really easy for

35:41

me just like making friends. You

35:41

know? And I'm, like, just kind

35:45

of talk to him about that. And,

35:45

because also, like, I'm

35:48

thinking, like, I was really

35:48

sarcastic as like, as a

35:51

counselor, other counselors and so like, a lot of the girls like, You're mean, like, just

35:53

because, because in my head, I'm

35:56

like, all my attention, all my

35:56

focus. 100% of my energy is

36:00

going to these kids. So I'm

36:00

like, that's all I have time

36:02

for. Yeah, it's like, so like,

36:02

I'm like, Dude, I have like,

36:05

five people this week. Tell me I

36:05

was a jerk. I don't know what

36:07

you're talking about, in my in

36:07

the back of my head kind of

36:09

thing. But I'm like, I was just

36:09

like, this kid, like, yesterday,

36:13

and it's just, like, hurt my

36:13

heart, you know? And he's just

36:16

like, like, how do you make so

36:16

many friends like, I'm like,

36:22

that's like one of those things

36:22

where it's like, just like, I

36:28

can't do anything for him, you

36:28

know. It's just like, kind of

36:31

lose things. Just like I just

36:31

have to trust Holy Father, that

36:34

he's gonna take care of this kid

36:34

they love you know, and I'm

36:37

against people like, like this.

36:37

This probably the first time

36:39

it's actually actually like, deeply thought about that moment. Because like, most

36:41

people, like, just brush it off.

36:44

Like, it's fine. Like, you're

36:44

fine kind of thing. Just like,

36:47

keep going, like, Okay, I'm

36:47

pretty good at that. It's a

36:50

strong suit. Lots of weaknesses,

36:50

you know? I'm like, nope, like

36:54

it's doing good. You know? Yeah.

36:54

Because it was a really good

36:57

kid. And he really loved God, I

36:57

could tell that. The other thing

37:00

like I remember, that's just

37:00

like, all of last year that like

37:03

the big theme for me that just

37:03

kind of we talked a lot about

37:09

EFS. Why they reinforced a lot

37:09

to those kids was at the beach.

37:13

I remember praying before I left

37:13

and like what is what is the one

37:16

thing these kids need to hear.

37:16

And President Nelson talked May

37:20

of last year about our divided

37:20

at all to the young adults. And

37:26

like, there's a video beginning

37:26

the week at FSI last summer, I

37:29

don't know if they're gonna do

37:29

this or not. But they're like,

37:33

the previous president Nelson's

37:33

like you, I think President was

37:36

president is like, what they

37:36

want yours, then this week is

37:40

that you are a beloved son or

37:40

daughter of God. And that's

37:44

something like I try to

37:44

reinforce them. It's like, we're

37:47

talking about like, repentance,

37:47

or like, all these things. It's

37:49

like, I understand that, like,

37:49

you've made mistakes, I

37:52

understand that. There's these

37:52

feelings, but you are divine,

37:58

you have this divine potential

37:58

in you. And that's something

38:01

like, I didn't really see myself. So that's one thing I just focused, like, a lot of my

38:03

time last year studying by it's

38:06

like, been really helpful. And

38:06

it's just, like, changed me. But

38:10

I'm like, I have like, I gotta,

38:10

like, love myself. And like,

38:13

tell these kids like believe

38:13

this. If I'm going to tell these

38:15

kids like, you are beloved, and

38:15

you're worth it, you know?

38:18

Totally. So that was like,

38:18

really close. We want to tell

38:21

them that. There's like a single

38:21

experience like wow, like, I

38:26

don't really believe that with

38:26

that. But I'm, like, somebody

38:28

told, told them often. It's

38:28

like, your beloved and your

38:31

cherished. Yeah, I understand.

38:31

Like, life is hard, but it's

38:35

okay. Like, you'll be okay.

38:35

Yeah.

38:38

Do that. What you just

38:38

told me about like that, that

38:42

kid. It reminds me of when I was

38:42

in eighth grade. I got pulled

38:49

into the principal's office, and

38:49

I thought I was in trouble. But

38:54

she says Talmage Do you know,

38:54

Ezra? Mike. Yeah, no, Ezra. She

39:04

says, he comes to me every week

39:04

and says, Have you found me a

39:09

friend yet? And when I heard

39:09

that, it just hurt. There are

39:19

just lonely people out there.

39:19

Then they feel like that lost

39:23

sheep. And, like she asked me if

39:23

I would help if I could, like,

39:31

be kind to him and stuff. And

39:31

and I tried I'd like I'd reach

39:37

out to him at halls and talk to

39:37

him in class, but I probably

39:40

wasn't nearly as good as I

39:40

needed to be. I was still

39:45

learning I was a little kid. I

39:45

was kind of self absorbed. And,

39:53

but just the idea of seeing him

39:53

go to the principal to ask her

40:00

She's found him a friend yet.

40:00

He's not alone every day in

40:04

class. He's the nicest kid.

40:04

Years later, I find him on

40:12

Facebook and I'm like, Oh my

40:12

gosh, Ezra. And he is like grown

40:18

out his hair, not the long hairs

40:18

bad. But he's like, he's smoking

40:23

a lot. And he's, he had all of

40:23

his posts sound very jaded

40:29

towards the world, towards

40:29

people in general. And it broke

40:36

my heart. Because I was like, he

40:36

was that one lost sheep. And I

40:44

put in a little bit of effort,

40:44

but I'd never went out of my

40:48

way, really never left my 99

40:48

friends to go find that one and

40:55

help. And maybe there were

40:55

people later on, that showed him

41:02

the attention he needed and the

41:02

care that he needed. And maybe

41:07

they weren't even the best

41:07

influences. And maybe that's why

41:09

he got into a lot of self

41:09

destructive habits, because it

41:13

wasn't just smoking, and

41:13

whatnot. It was, is the

41:17

lifestyle. He was leading. And I

41:17

don't know where he's at today,

41:22

but I still often think about

41:22

him. And I'm like, everybody

41:29

deserves a friend.

41:31

Yeah. That's like one

41:31

thing my grandma talks about,

41:35

like, some of the basic human

41:35

needs is like, they need to be

41:38

heard and to be loved. And they.

41:38

And they, they need to just feel

41:44

special with somebody. Yeah. And

41:44

like, one thing I really love

41:48

about my job is like, I just

41:48

have, like, so many quick

41:52

interactions with people all

41:52

day. And like, working at phys

41:56

Yeah, work is so great. It's

41:56

just like some of the I see some

42:01

funny things. The drive thru to

42:01

people. But like, just that

42:06

stupid thing that I might have

42:06

said, like, people get a kick

42:10

out of it sometimes. Yeah. And

42:10

like as like the people that are

42:13

just like people that come

42:13

through a lot and like, are this

42:15

one guy just like talking to me

42:15

about how is camera who die, but

42:18

somebody died? And there's like, somebody's on the way, like, pick them up. I'm like that I'm

42:19

sorry. That's hard. But just like, not everybody goes to get

42:21

a soda, because it's the

42:27

routine. Some people go because

42:27

they just need someone to help

42:30

them get through the day. Yeah.

42:30

And if I can just give them that

42:32

one little interaction of like,

42:32

that kid was funny. Yeah. Maybe

42:37

it'll make him feel better. Or

42:37

like, that kid was genuine.

42:40

Like, I always ask, like, how's

42:40

your day going? And then he's

42:43

like, I'm like, okay, like,

42:43

yeah, like, what are you doing

42:46

today? How's it going? Like,

42:46

what's going on? And it's really

42:49

just really cool. That's like,

42:49

my favorite part about that job.

42:53

Yeah, surprised. I don't like

42:53

like, it's not my favorite thing

42:55

that makes drinks all day. Chick

42:55

fil A is going to try to poach

42:57

you, Mike, my co workers, like

42:57

you were just so nice. Like, why

43:01

would you not work it

43:01

desperately, how's your day, you

43:05

know, there's like, so nice. And

43:05

just like, it's like, I'm that

43:07

person that drives through. I'm like, I don't want to talk about my day, like, leave me alone

43:09

kind of thing. But like, on the

43:11

opposite side, like, I want to know how they're doing. Because I really do have a deep care.

43:13

And then like, that's why it's

43:17

like, just being kind of being

43:17

kindness free. It doesn't cost

43:22

anything it doesn't and like, do

43:22

you get a lot out of it? No,

43:26

like, at the end of the day, you

43:26

don't but like, some there's so

43:30

many that needs it. And there's

43:30

somebody that deserves it.

43:34

Everybody deserves to feel

43:34

loved. Everybody deserves to

43:36

feel like they are worth

43:36

something. Because they are they

43:40

are this like this by like, if

43:40

they do drugs, like like your

43:43

friend. Yeah, as well. It's

43:43

like, despite the lifestyle that

43:46

they have, even though it might be different for you, they deserve to be loved. And they

43:48

deserve to feel like they are worth the world because Jesus

43:50

Christ died for them for a

43:53

reason. You know? And like,

43:53

like, I'm not perfect at that.

43:56

Like, there's some times I'm

43:56

like, That's okay. Like, guys.

44:01

We're all that's why I think

44:01

it's so beautiful. Like how, in

44:05

the words like other like you

44:05

call it God's choir, like we

44:07

know, we need all the voices.

44:07

That's where it's like, I can't

44:10

remember three of us why there's

44:10

one guy he's like time like, we

44:14

need less picture perfect

44:14

members of the church, we need

44:16

more people coming, that have

44:16

different backgrounds, because

44:19

they can touch people that like

44:19

I cannot. But like, that's one

44:24

thing like talk to my kids and

44:24

like, like my co like, my co

44:27

counselor, they she she can do

44:27

stuff to you that I cannot. She

44:31

has her own set of gifts,

44:31

abilities. And that's like, and

44:33

then like, same thing. Like I

44:33

have things I bring the people

44:35

that like, she cannot bring?

44:35

Yeah, and that's what it's like.

44:39

I remember this guy, like, he

44:39

gave a talk in my ward. And he's

44:42

like, it's so you want to be

44:42

Idaho. He was like, lawncare

44:45

like, he's like the classic

44:45

heavy metal guys. Yeah. Hey,

44:48

what's up, dude? He's like, he's

44:48

so funny. He's so nice. He's

44:51

just like, give a talk or it's

44:51

like kind of like the same idea.

44:53

It's like, I people come up to

44:53

me like, Yo, he's like, You got

44:56

something for me to smoke. He was like, No, but I got a Book of Mormon. Like oh, I have the

44:58

gospel of Jesus Christ, like

45:02

these things that you bring to

45:02

the table that you think are

45:05

probably like quirky or weird.

45:05

Like, you can touch somebody,

45:08

through your experiences, you

45:08

can touch somebody, because you

45:12

have this quirky thing that you

45:12

have. You know,

45:14

the uniqueness about

45:14

you is your superpower. Yeah, I

45:19

had this. This guy. In one of my

45:19

words, when I first got back

45:23

from, from my mission, he's very

45:23

just like, a straight arrow.

45:28

This is how it said in the

45:28

rulebook. So this is how we're

45:32

gonna do it. Like, if you lift

45:32

up the, if you're passing the

45:36

sacrament, and you help the

45:36

people blessing the sacrament,

45:40

lift up the cloth. Bad, you're

45:40

not supposed to do that. We're

45:46

not supposed to cross duties,

45:46

like just very straight, like,

45:50

do like chill. And I was like,

45:50

chill for so long. But then I

45:55

started really appreciating the

45:55

order that he brought to elders

46:00

quorum. And then one day, it's

46:00

snowing. It's blizzarding. And

46:05

he's out in the middle of the

46:05

courtyard. This is at the

46:08

Enclave south of BYU campus.

46:08

It's blizzarding. He's out in

46:12

the courtyard with his amp and

46:12

his electric guitar. And he's

46:16

just going nuts. And like, like

46:16

it was electric, because there

46:21

was so he was just a it's just

46:21

fun. He's quirky, he's

46:24

different. And he's just like,

46:24

playing this heavy metal guitar

46:28

solo. And I'm just like, This

46:28

guy is so unique. Oh, yeah, he

46:32

came, he gave me a ministering

46:32

assignment. And he didn't just

46:36

text it to me. I think he wrote

46:36

it down on a piece of paper with

46:40

amazing cursive handwriting, and

46:40

then put wax on it and how to

46:46

seal and seal the letter and

46:46

gave it to me. Yeah. And I'm

46:50

like, it's like, this

46:50

is the cool. I love seals. And you're like, what? Why?

46:53

I'm like, why, but I'm

46:53

like, that's so cool.

46:55

There's so many out there. Appreciate.

46:56

There's so there that

46:56

appreciates it. And so actually,

46:59

quirky is a straight arrow. He

46:59

does this like ornate

47:02

handwriting and in letters and

47:02

then plays electric guitar out

47:06

in the courtyard. And then like,

47:06

this guy's dope.

47:10

This is live

47:12

life. And some people

47:12

would think it's weird. Yeah.

47:15

And who freaking cares? Because

47:15

he's, like, you notice I

47:19

noticed? Yeah. And it touched me

47:19

in a way that if everybody was

47:23

cookie cutter, I wouldn't never

47:26

appreciate it. I've

47:26

never gotten the curse of Henry

47:28

letter a stamp for you're

47:30

exactly. And so your

47:30

weirdness is your superpower,

47:34

embrace it and love it, because

47:34

other people will too. Not

47:38

everybody will. But who cares

47:38

about the people that don't?

47:41

Yeah, the people that do that,

47:41

who your

47:44

focus is on and they

47:44

have the right mindset of things

47:47

that actually matter in life,

47:47

which is us collectively trying

47:50

to get back to only father. And

47:50

like, I just think it's so cool.

47:54

He like, just uses those weird

47:54

things about people. Like I'm

48:00

just like a cute like, I can be

48:00

really serious once I can't be

48:03

like, just like, I'm just like

48:03

making fun of people.

48:05

I didn't know what to make of you when I first met you.

48:10

First moved on, like, this is the first time I've lived in my house. I feel like I

48:12

like gotten closer. Like I

48:15

remember like we talked to like

48:15

for the morning that one time

48:17

like, Yeah, you should be on the

48:17

podcast. Okay. Let's do it. Oh,

48:23

like, like, say, I'm like,

48:23

really? Just like, really? I

48:28

knew that. I like I thought about that. And I'm like, they probably just like don't really

48:30

know who I am.

48:33

I love it. Because

48:33

like, you were so goofy right

48:37

off the bat. With Blake. I'm

48:37

like, oh, yeah, I was doing

48:42

these accents. And I'm like, Who

48:42

is this guy?

48:44

I was like, wildly uncomfortable there until Blake got there. I was like, okay, my

48:46

buddies here like, yeah, I can

48:49

start to show my shoes.

48:52

Like, and I can totally

48:52

see how you make so many

48:54

friends. And how you brighten

48:54

people's day is because like, I

48:59

don't care if I'm weird. Because

48:59

at this point, I've embraced it.

49:02

Yeah, you've embraced it into

49:02

some people love it.

49:05

I know. And I love it.

49:05

And somebody like, like, I'll be

49:07

careful. Like, you can be like,

49:07

you're probably gonna offend

49:10

somebody I'm really talking about she's like said this. I'm like, I probably will. I will.

49:12

There's something like, I can't

49:16

just like live my life walking

49:16

on eggshells because like, I'm

49:19

good. Like, there's always somebody that's gonna be offended. Absolutely. And it's

49:21

like, and that like, that's

49:23

okay. Like, if there's something

49:23

I did wrong, if I wrong, that

49:25

person. Like, it was never my

49:25

intention. Like, I'll go up to

49:28

him like, Hey, I'm sorry. Yeah,

49:28

like my bad. You know? Yeah, it

49:31

was never attention. Like, I've

49:31

done what I could. But like,

49:35

there's other people out there.

49:35

They're just like, appreciate it

49:37

so much, and they just love it.

49:39

And if you if you held

49:39

yourself back, because you were

49:44

worried about offending people.

49:44

If everybody had that mindset,

49:50

there would be no personality.

49:50

There'd be no real dialogue.

49:54

What's that movie?

49:54

Basically, it's like where they

49:58

get like inject so they don't

49:58

have them. motions and like they

50:01

forget the past, you know,

50:01

talking about oh, the giver?

50:03

Yes, that will be Yeah, it's

50:03

just like that where it's like,

50:07

nothing like I can't even see in

50:07

color. Like, it's just like this

50:10

way, this way kind of thing.

50:10

Where it's like we have to help

50:12

the community and like, there's

50:12

like no, like, hope the

50:16

community like what you bring to

50:16

the table. Absolutely. Your

50:18

personality. Yeah.

50:20

And if, and if you

50:20

offend people along the way,

50:23

it's inevitable. Yeah. And then

50:23

you can, you could just say,

50:27

sorry.

50:28

Yeah, I was like, I

50:28

don't know, for sure. Like, and

50:31

I like this person irritated me

50:31

by what they did. But it's like,

50:35

and that's my like, cover, like we're talking about yesterday, we're talking about come follow

50:36

me. And like, The Good Samaritan, where it's like, and

50:38

how, like, the Jews, like,

50:43

really hated the Samaritans. But

50:43

it's like, interesting that God

50:45

uses the term the Good

50:45

Samaritan, like, it's a good

50:48

it's a good person. Like if he

50:48

could just like it's, it was

50:50

good person. But like, that,

50:50

like, the what Alex said was

50:53

like, about, like, they were

50:53

universally hated. Exactly.

50:57

Yeah. And it's like, I can't

50:57

have that, that thing. That

51:00

mentality is like, they annoy

51:00

me, like, I'm getting, like,

51:03

hate them for the rest of my

51:03

life. You know, but it's like,

51:07

Who is it? You got to have like,

51:07

why would you just like, put

51:09

down on yourself to like, hate

51:09

them? Yeah. Because like, it's

51:12

like,

51:13

like resentment. Yeah,

51:13

exactly. drinking poison and

51:15

hoping it kills your enemy.

51:17

That's like, the other

51:17

time. Yeah, exactly. It's like

51:20

that that thing, too. So it's

51:20

like, I know, I do that. And so

51:26

and then the other show we're

51:26

talking about to yesterday, it's

51:28

like kind of ties into this is

51:28

like, the story of the the

51:32

servant that got forgiven. It's

51:32

like, Oh, my God, like God,

51:35

Jesus Christ, like Jesus Christ.

51:35

Like, he's gonna forgive me all

51:37

the time. Like, we don't have to

51:37

ask, like, it's just part of who

51:40

can ask for it and like, feel that for ourselves, but he's like, he loves us. He's like,

51:42

No, I just want you to come unto me, you know, and it's like,

51:44

there's people that I'm gonna

51:47

get irritated that that's like,

51:47

okay, like, that's not that's

51:49

not my job to do that. Yeah,

51:49

that's, that's Donald's job, not

51:53

not my problem. It's just, I

51:53

just have to be me. Just worry

51:56

about me and like, what I'm

51:56

doing. Exactly. And then like,

51:58

you're fine. You're gonna make

51:58

your mistakes. Because that's,

52:01

that's how life is. But don't be

52:01

worried about like other people

52:03

think because, like, you get are

52:03

the same with other people. And

52:07

there's really, there's really

52:07

an author's making take us make

52:09

sense in my head. But it's like,

52:09

it's like, you know, that you

52:12

get your Hitler people like you

52:12

should forget and like, just

52:14

like, let it be, because it's

52:14

not helping you. And a lot of

52:17

Utah

52:18

drivers could use that.

52:18

Let it be, they cut you off.

52:24

I sometimes like to,

52:24

like, make myself not so pissed

52:26

off. It's like, I hope you're

52:26

doing okay, like your date.

52:29

Probably really bad. If you have

52:29

to do that. That's probably

52:31

worse than mine. So I'm like, I

52:31

hope you're okay.

52:35

Yeah, no, seriously.

52:35

assume they're going through

52:40

something rough. Yeah, you're

52:40

probably right.

52:42

I think that's like a quote for somebody like nine out of 10 times you'd like go right?

52:45

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

52:45

Like, treat everybody as if

52:48

they're going through something

52:48

incredibly hard. Nine times out

52:50

of 10 You're gonna be right. And

52:50

they're gonna be really

52:54

grateful.

52:55

Respect is an amazing

52:55

thing. Just like having like,

52:57

respect for people in general.

52:57

That's a beautiful gift that you

53:00

can have. Yeah, kinda might. My

53:00

brother has has a gift. He likes

53:05

to be read a lot. But he also like, I remember seeing him growing up, he had a gift or

53:07

just like, not really judging

53:09

people. Just pre accepting who

53:09

they were. I've gotten better at

53:12

that. Just like not really judging people just being accepting of who they are. Yeah,

53:14

and just seeing past like, what

53:17

they are and just seeing what

53:17

who they truly are. Yeah, yeah,

53:20

that's a beautiful gift. It is

53:20

sorry for that more honestly, it

53:23

is a very beautiful

53:23

gift. Something I need to work

53:26

on to gives you a lot of friends

53:26

as well. Yeah. And people are

53:32

willing to give you the benefit

53:32

of the doubt when you give them

53:35

the benefit of the doubt. So

53:35

very nice.

53:39

Blessed are the merciful

53:39

so that for that shall receive

53:41

mercy. So that the scripture

53:41

Yeah, I think five or six have

53:47

something. Yeah. So in

53:47

this sermon on the mount, yeah,

53:51

dude over there. Yeah, it's over

53:51

there. And that is so sick.

53:57

Yeah, I feel like David, I've

53:57

loved having you on. Your story

54:01

is amazing. And how you've

54:01

handled it. And here's the

54:08

thing. A ton of missionaries

54:08

when coming home from the

54:12

mission, going active, yeah.

54:12

lose their testimony. And an

54:21

even bigger number that come

54:21

home early, lose their

54:25

testimony. What stopped you from

54:25

going down that same path that

54:31

so many have gone? And what kept

54:31

you with that testimony? Even

54:36

when you you didn't know why you

54:36

had to come home and stay home?

54:44

I think it's just the

54:44

knowledge that I like. I like

54:48

not having the gospel in my life

54:48

and the knowledge like not

54:52

feeling like I can become better

54:52

because like I can't overcome my

54:55

own faults, my own mistakes, my

54:55

own whatever it is without Jesus

54:59

Christ and like to fight did

54:59

have a like I had experience

55:01

with, like, with my testimony

55:01

and just like this is this is

55:04

true, like, you know, this is

55:04

true. And just having those

55:08

experiences like even though,

55:08

like I was mad and I didn't do

55:10

as much stuff like I still I

55:10

still knew. And like there are

55:14

moments where it's like when I was like, What are you doing through life? And I'm like,

55:15

Yeah, that's like, I know the

55:19

Gospels through the day. It's

55:19

like, even though it's hard,

55:21

it's hard to be a disciple. It's

55:21

like, I just know that like, I

55:27

couldn't do it alone. Because I

55:27

would just feel so much

55:31

resentment, I would just feel so

55:31

much anger. And I would, like, I

55:36

don't even know Irby, I just

55:36

like to spiral as a person

55:38

probably.

55:40

Did I feel you know?

55:44

So just think that just

55:44

like that knowledge back my mind

55:46

that like, I can't do it alone,

55:46

even though I, I try all the

55:51

time. And I remember telling my

55:51

kids so that's why I'm Mike, cuz

55:54

like you, there's those kids

55:54

like, they really, there's kids

55:59

that you can figure out that

55:59

they understand. And there's

56:02

other kids that give you the

56:02

basic, the both of them give you

56:05

the basic primary answers. Yeah.

56:05

But the kids just understood.

56:10

They're like, No, like, I know

56:10

this, it's because of these

56:12

experiences that I've had,

56:12

because I've tried, I've failed,

56:17

and I've succeeded, and I

56:17

failed, they succeeded. It's

56:19

like that push and pull of like,

56:19

the, like goodness and evil

56:23

inside of them, because they're

56:23

trying to learn how to live life

56:26

with their body. Like, you know, you're you're perfected spiritually, with your body. You

56:28

know. I remember talking to the

56:33

home, like, like, like, I know,

56:33

you guys have heard stories of

56:37

missionaries coming home. And

56:37

like, falling inactive. Like,

56:43

I'm like, so what is reading

56:43

your scriptures everyday gonna

56:46

do for you, when it gets to that

56:46

point? Like, when you're in the

56:51

trenches of life, or like life

56:51

just seems like, you just have

56:55

nothing left to give, like, how

56:55

do you stay in kind of in that

56:59

and just like, it's because

56:59

like, Jesus Christ has done

57:02

everything for us. And he just

57:02

fruit like, once you have free

57:07

for your pet, bought with a

57:07

price, and the price is his

57:10

love. That's all he he gave us

57:10

just so we could have a chance

57:15

at not living in outer darkness,

57:15

we could have a chance to live

57:18

the glory. And he's just asking,

57:18

so let's try and follow him not

57:21

to do it, like perfectly, but

57:21

just to try. And it's like, I

57:24

can try it. And if my my trying

57:24

is like 1% of like what I can

57:28

actually do. Like, I can do that

57:28

today, you know, or if it's like

57:31

point 00 Like 0.1 Whatever.

57:31

Like, I can do that though.

57:36

Yeah, that's all I can do.

57:38

That's all you can do

57:38

sometimes. And that's okay.

57:41

Because he's going to he's

57:41

already carried the load. Yeah,

57:47

it's amazing. There's just one

57:49

scripture that like these two scriptures I really like and like, there's like

57:51

probably the last thought but

57:53

like, where's the thought of you

57:53

being yoked with Christ? There's

57:57

a scripture in First Nephi I

57:57

want to say firstly 515 But like

58:02

the Scripture basically like

58:02

your your chain with a devil is

58:06

the the verbiage I just like

58:06

that, like when you're not doing

58:11

your like, when you're just like

58:11

choosing not like, Satan's like

58:15

you're chained with him. And

58:15

like you're you know, he's not

58:17

doing Jack crap to help you.

58:17

Yeah, you know, like like the

58:21

order like what and when New

58:21

York I think like in the first

58:24

class sometime around that like

58:24

Alma one where it's like he just

58:27

like gets trampled. Yeah. Right

58:27

away. Yeah, he was he was

58:31

chatting with God

58:32

saying he's gonna leave

58:32

his own. He he has no loyalty.

58:35

Yeah. Like, it's almost to the

58:35

world. Like how

58:39

it's a chain like it just drags you down. But Christ is at the yoke here with him.

58:40

There's one really cool thought

58:43

to that. I've heard somebody

58:43

giving about just like the yoke.

58:47

But the oxen are all built

58:47

differently. So you have to

58:50

build the yoke, according to the

58:50

size and the build of the oxen.

58:54

And so like, according like,

58:54

where are you at? Doesn't like,

58:57

Forget comparing yourself to

58:57

other people. Like, my yoke is

59:01

built differently with Christ

59:01

than it is for your yoke, right.

59:04

So that the weight is

59:04

distributed, distributed, like

59:08

the best? Yeah, like, the load I

59:08

can carry might be different

59:12

than somebody else's. If yours

59:12

isn't as good as mine, like

59:14

that's okay. Or if it's somebody

59:14

else's better than mine. I was

59:16

like, that's okay. Like you

59:16

already where you're at and

59:18

like, that's all you need to do.

59:18

Just do what you can with what's

59:22

in front of you.

59:23

Yeah. And God will

59:23

magnify that they will, you'll

59:26

be amazed to see. I've just seen

59:26

it with this podcast. Honestly,

59:34

I, I knew nothing about how to

59:34

do a podcast and what I was

59:39

doing.

59:40

I'm really talking to me

59:40

about that. You're like, how do

59:42

you do this? You're like, I have no idea.

59:43

I'm like so in over my

59:43

head, like, and I was just like,

59:47

you know, like, I feel like

59:47

maybe I could try. And I put out

59:54

the worst quality podcast out

59:54

there like this started three

59:58

years ago and it was just like,

59:58

really The bad there's mess

1:00:00

upside never cleaned up the

1:00:00

noise floor was high. The my SS

1:00:06

were really sharp by I was

1:00:06

redundant. And in a lot of the

1:00:09

things I said

1:00:13

and I'm just like, I'm

1:00:13

trying, I'm trying i It's not

1:00:16

much, but I put it out there.

1:00:16

And I got message after message

1:00:22

of people saying thank you so

1:00:22

much. You told my story.

1:00:28

I thought I was the only one.

1:00:31

And

1:00:34

I don't know, it makes

1:00:34

me want to cry. Because you will

1:00:39

magnify your efforts. It's the

1:00:39

widow's mite. That little mite

1:00:45

is going to do so much more.

1:00:45

Because is given is everything

1:00:51

she had. There's a given in

1:00:51

faith in your little might might

1:00:54

not look like much to the world.

1:00:54

But God makes God confounds the

1:01:00

wise. He makes weak things

1:01:00

become strong. Yes, exactly. He

1:01:04

makes weak things become strong.

1:01:04

He confirmed the wise with small

1:01:07

and simple means. And it's

1:01:07

amazing. And when you when you

1:01:11

trust God and say, Hey, God,

1:01:11

here I go, I'm gonna I'm gonna

1:01:16

trust you. Like, don't let me

1:01:16

fall on my face.

1:01:21

It takes a conscious

1:01:21

effort to to just be like that.

1:01:23

Because like, just be like,

1:01:23

okay, like, I'm gonna ask God

1:01:27

for help. It's like, that's hard

1:01:27

that I don't think it's like

1:01:30

talking enough. Like, how hard

1:01:30

it is like when you're it's

1:01:33

like, I feel better now but by

1:01:33

you. Like, why don't want to ask

1:01:37

for help, you know? But it's

1:01:37

like, it's just makes life so

1:01:42

much easier. Like when you just

1:01:42

get up, are humble enough to

1:01:46

just be like, I need you. Like,

1:01:46

I don't like, I know I do. But I

1:01:50

just have been ignoring it. And

1:01:50

it's like, it's like even like

1:01:53

if if you're in those moments

1:01:53

where you just don't want to

1:01:58

reach out to God. Just Just try

1:01:58

even if that's like, just

1:02:04

recognize it for what he did.

1:02:04

Yeah, like there's a video. It's

1:02:08

like the healing power of

1:02:08

gratitude. Being grateful has

1:02:11

like healing effects. It's good for your soul.

1:02:13

Yeah. You did all of

1:02:13

that I had a guest on I don't

1:02:17

know if you listen to this

1:02:17

episode. But Ryan, Elaine, she,

1:02:22

she's talking about how she

1:02:22

really didn't want to ask God

1:02:24

for help. But she's like, I'm

1:02:24

just gonna talk and God if

1:02:27

you've listened in you can.

1:02:29

I think I remember

1:02:29

hearing that. Yeah, like a clip

1:02:31

or something. And

1:02:33

at that point, that's

1:02:33

all she could do. Yeah. She

1:02:35

couldn't bring herself to

1:02:35

actually pray. But she's like,

1:02:38

if you want to listen, God, you

1:02:38

can but like, I'm just gonna

1:02:40

vent and and she ended up having

1:02:40

an amazing experience. Like,

1:02:47

with God and Revelation and

1:02:47

everything. You guys will just

1:02:51

have to listen to the episode.

1:02:51

But we're not meant to do this

1:02:56

life alone. No, this we need

1:02:56

God's help, but we need each

1:02:59

other's help as well. And I've

1:02:59

been working a lot lately, and

1:03:04

I'm just really busy. You know

1:03:04

this, I'm never at home.

1:03:08

This is why he's moving

1:03:08

out. Is there like one like one

1:03:11

or two nights? Not days, nights

1:03:11

nights a week that I mean, I

1:03:15

swear like the past two weeks,

1:03:15

has he been moved out? He's been

1:03:18

at the house more. For just

1:03:18

three months. It's crazy.

1:03:24

I just life is busy.

1:03:27

And it's draining. And,

1:03:27

and what we did yesterday,

1:03:33

we got some friends

1:03:33

together, we played some chill

1:03:36

volleyball. And then we we did

1:03:36

come follow me with a group of

1:03:40

people. And then we just chatted

1:03:40

afterwards.

1:03:44

I was so rejuvenated,

1:03:44

so rejuvenated. It was so fun to

1:03:50

be around good wholesome people.

1:03:50

And talk have fun talking about

1:03:55

the gospel play sports having

1:03:55

fun, like, physical activity.

1:04:01

That is what life is about is

1:04:01

these relationships. And I can't

1:04:04

do it without them. And what's

1:04:04

the point of doing it? If I

1:04:08

can't have a relationship with

1:04:08

these amazing PA and so

1:04:13

I just don't want to

1:04:13

question for you. This is

1:04:16

something I've thought about

1:04:16

before like try to like I just

1:04:18

want to ask you like there are

1:04:18

these people it's like cool

1:04:20

like, like got like a lot of

1:04:20

likes I feel like a big like CMT

1:04:25

thing people say is like God

1:04:25

answers your prayers a lot of

1:04:28

the time through other people.

1:04:28

What like and like what for you

1:04:32

like what, what do you do when

1:04:32

you feel like those people

1:04:37

aren't coming? And like you're

1:04:37

just kind of wondering you got

1:04:40

to figure out on your own you know what what would you say to like that is that makes sense.

1:04:42

That question makes sense. Yeah, no, no. Doors like, oh, I don't

1:04:44

have the script that I have

1:04:49

those like, yeah, what would you

1:04:49

what would you tell somebody

1:04:52

that doesn't have that but is

1:04:52

seeking that really wants that

1:04:54

deep down?

1:04:54

Yeah. This is really

1:04:54

hard to do.

1:04:59

Are you Used to be incredibly

1:04:59

shy, like painfully shy. Like,

1:05:05

like, I ran away from a girl who

1:05:05

started talking to me in school,

1:05:09

and cried wolf in the bathroom

1:05:09

because I didn't know what to

1:05:12

say. I was eighth, eighth grade.

1:05:16

And I was lonely. Yeah, because

1:05:16

I didn't know how to talk to

1:05:20

people.

1:05:21

Um,

1:05:24

but the thing that

1:05:24

turned my life around is,

1:05:31

there's two things actually my

1:05:31

brother, he was very popular,

1:05:35

very charismatic, and he pushed

1:05:35

me to talk to people. But

1:05:40

secondly, was to focus on other

1:05:40

people. When you focus on other

1:05:47

people, first off, it feels like

1:05:47

your problems can disappear. And

1:05:52

the moment your loneliness

1:05:52

disappears when you're serving

1:05:55

other people. Secondly, you

1:05:55

develop true, like real love for

1:06:00

them. And they notice that they

1:06:00

feel that love. And it sparks

1:06:05

something in them. Yeah. And so

1:06:05

I went to a new school. And I

1:06:10

was like, Okay, I'm done being

1:06:10

the shy guy. I'm done. I need to

1:06:16

be something more. And it's a

1:06:16

new school so I can reinvent

1:06:19

myself. And so every day, I went

1:06:19

up to a different group at

1:06:25

lunch, and I said, Hey, I'm new

1:06:25

here. Don't really know very

1:06:30

many people. Can I sit with you?

1:06:30

And when they usually say yes,

1:06:35

because most people would, if

1:06:35

they don't, they're jerks, and

1:06:38

you don't want to be their

1:06:38

friend anyway. So your time?

1:06:40

Yeah, they're a waste of your

1:06:40

time. So yeah, I would sit down,

1:06:43

and instead of waiting for them

1:06:43

to be like, Oh, so you're new?

1:06:47

How are you? Like, where do you

1:06:47

come from all this stuff? I

1:06:51

would immediately go to them.

1:06:51

And I'd be like, yeah, what's

1:06:55

your name? What's? I don't know,

1:06:55

what's this about you? Oh,

1:06:59

you're in soccer. That's sick.

1:06:59

Man, I, I played soccer back in

1:07:02

the day to all you do FFA. I

1:07:02

have horses. And I'd try to find

1:07:07

commonalities, I tried to make

1:07:07

them feel special. And as soon

1:07:10

as I did that, again, my

1:07:10

problems went away. I learned to

1:07:15

really like these people, I

1:07:15

focused on memorizing their

1:07:19

names. And I gained friends. It

1:07:19

is just such a stark difference

1:07:25

from one school to the other,

1:07:25

where I felt like I didn't have

1:07:29

friends. And I was alone. And

1:07:29

the only thing that changed was

1:07:35

I wasn't as self absorbed. I was

1:07:35

focused on other people and

1:07:38

getting to know them. And that's

1:07:38

more of a practical tip for

1:07:44

people that are feeling like

1:07:44

they don't have people in their

1:07:47

lives that can provide that

1:07:47

companionship, attention and

1:07:51

love. I'm telling you, it'll do

1:07:51

wonders. In terms of

1:07:56

spirituality, there will

1:07:56

inevitably be times when you

1:08:02

feel absolutely alone. Whereas

1:08:02

the people in your life while

1:08:06

even if they love you and are

1:08:06

very have good intentions. They

1:08:11

don't know what you're going

1:08:11

through. And you will feel

1:08:14

alone. That is it. Okay. That is

1:08:14

okay to feel that way.

1:08:21

I was gonna say there's

1:08:21

been moments where I'm like, I

1:08:24

can't feel that sometimes it was

1:08:24

like, Oh, come on. It's like

1:08:27

it's okay. You know? Yeah, it's

1:08:27

okay to be to not be okay. Yeah,

1:08:32

yeah.

1:08:33

And recognize it and

1:08:33

just be like, Oh, I feel very

1:08:36

alone. But I know this is so

1:08:36

cliche. You're not, even if you

1:08:46

feel that Christ himself while

1:08:46

on the cross, felt completely

1:08:52

abandoned, saying, Father, why

1:08:52

hast thou forsaken me? But he

1:08:57

wasn't God. I don't know who

1:08:57

said it, but was probably up in

1:09:05

heaven weeping, understanding

1:09:05

exactly what his son is going

1:09:09

through and is there with him

1:09:09

even though he had to withdraw

1:09:13

his spirit you're going to feel

1:09:13

that way. But just know it's not

1:09:18

going to last forever. Keep the

1:09:18

faith the Spirit will come back

1:09:25

and confirm to you that Christ

1:09:25

in God are there for you always,

1:09:29

even when you feel that way. And

1:09:29

so that has been my experience

1:09:36

with loneliness and how I've

1:09:36

been able to combat it at times

1:09:42

bolster temporarily as well as

1:09:42

spiritually

1:09:45

feel like that was like

1:09:45

one left like talk to like a lot

1:09:48

of people are coming home from

1:09:48

their mission is like that's one

1:09:51

really common feeling is feeling

1:09:51

like they're alone. So like, if

1:09:58

you're feeling like that, I just

1:09:58

got back home my kids It's okay.

1:10:01

You know, like I felt alone.

1:10:01

Like, did you feel alone when

1:10:05

you got home like

1:10:05

I was, I felt so

1:10:05

isolated. I was like, no one

1:10:09

knows what I'm going through.

1:10:10

Exactly. If you if you

1:10:10

feel like that right now, I'm

1:10:14

really sorry, but you're saying

1:10:14

like God loves you. And just be

1:10:19

aware, there's like, returned

1:10:19

missionaries seem like they're

1:10:21

okay. But that you've been

1:10:21

there. And like, there's a lot

1:10:28

that they're trying to work

1:10:28

through a lot to kind of figure

1:10:30

it out. And a lot of free time,

1:10:30

too. So if I'm gonna do

1:10:34

something, yeah, exactly. And

1:10:34

just like, have that time just

1:10:38

like still talk to them. Even the even the return missionaries

1:10:40

that seem like they have it all

1:10:42

put together. Okay? Because

1:10:42

sometimes, like, if you really

1:10:45

just put on a strong face, I

1:10:45

wouldn't like that's that's who

1:10:48

I am. People never know that. I'm like, not okay,

1:10:49

because I'm like, I don't want

1:10:52

to act like I'm not okay. Yeah.

1:10:52

So just just budget talk.

1:10:55

Because like, that's one thing with meet with people just like, come up to me like one on one.

1:10:57

Like, like, how are you actually

1:11:00

and I know, they care. I know,

1:11:00

they have that deep, genuine

1:11:02

love, because they show it to me

1:11:02

before I'm like, let me just

1:11:05

tell you what's going on kind of

1:11:05

thing. So just be aware of that.

1:11:07

Like pray like, like, find

1:11:07

somebody do that too. Yeah.

1:11:11

And when you find that

1:11:11

friend, you can have a lot of

1:11:14

friends like that. But like, yeah,

1:11:17

it's so cool. The

1:11:17

Brotherhood, lunch, they're so

1:11:22

strong. Yeah. Like, as you practice more gets

1:11:24

easier to like recognize that

1:11:26

too.

1:11:28

So it does get easier.

1:11:28

And you can see when people are

1:11:31

off. And then when you do help

1:11:31

them, there's nothing there's

1:11:36

not a better feeling. Because to

1:11:36

them, You are a hero in their

1:11:40

story. Even if you just

1:11:40

listened. Even if you just

1:11:43

listened. You felt like you

1:11:43

didn't contribute anything. You

1:11:46

just some lessons failures need

1:11:49

to be heard. Yeah,

1:11:49

exactly. Just like, feel like

1:11:53

they're worth it.

1:11:54

Yeah. That's so

1:11:54

interesting. It's, it's

1:11:58

fascinating to me. Man Dallin I

1:11:58

really appreciate you coming on

1:12:04

and sharing your experience,

1:12:04

your testimony and your

1:12:10

insights. It's something that so

1:12:10

many missionaries have gone

1:12:17

through the feeling of

1:12:17

loneliness, confusion, why did

1:12:20

this happen? But they don't

1:12:20

always talk about and so I

1:12:26

really appreciate you coming on.

1:12:28

Yeah, I just need to be

1:12:28

talked about more like I like I

1:12:32

get and I said I still don't

1:12:32

know why. Maybe it's because

1:12:36

like, I relate to people like

1:12:36

that more, but I don't know. And

1:12:39

it's okay, you know, like after

1:12:39

this all this time, that's kind

1:12:42

of the part of like, it's okay.

1:12:43

In but yeah, and one,

1:12:43

one thing I can see is you are

1:12:50

able to touch people in a way

1:12:50

that people that served a full

1:12:55

time mission whole two years,

1:12:55

wouldn't be able to. Yeah,

1:13:00

because they're Dallin. Fuller.

1:13:00

The guy that lucky Wait, happy

1:13:09

go lucky guy. The Jolly dude,

1:13:09

that guy that has such a strong

1:13:14

testimony of Christ and His own

1:13:14

divinity. He served four months.

1:13:24

Wow, who's to say I can't be

1:13:24

like him. Even though I only

1:13:30

served for three 610

1:13:34

Or didn't even serve at all

1:13:35

or didn't even serve at

1:13:35

all though, so you're gonna be

1:13:40

able to touch people that

1:13:42

so many can't. And so

1:13:42

that

1:13:44

that's one thing I was praying for. And I was coming over and like I just pray that

1:13:46

at least like one person in the

1:13:50

stash that just they just need

1:13:50

to hear that they're not alone.

1:13:54

Yeah. whoever that person is, I

1:13:54

got tears coming out for you. So

1:14:01

we've all heard this

1:14:01

episode. Gosh, dang it. I know.

1:14:06

Dylan, Dylan them in Dylan see

1:14:06

if you think of earlier

1:14:09

was passed to have to be

1:14:09

frozen right there. Really,

1:14:15

really nice. So if you want to

1:14:15

smell bright in your face, just

1:14:18

stop by if is Yeah, stop

1:14:19

by fizz in a war on

1:14:19

Center Street in Orem. And

1:14:24

you'll see down at the window a

1:14:24

lot. Like talking to you. Yeah.

1:14:29

Again, he got me this drawer.

1:14:31

Just be like, yeah, it

1:14:31

was down there and just talk to

1:14:33

me. I'd love to talk to you.

1:14:33

Yeah, he'll just be like,

1:14:35

Do I know you? You're like No, no, no, not at

1:14:37

all, actually. Okay,

1:14:37

cool.

1:14:42

We had this conversation. So how

1:14:42

do you know me? That'd be great.

1:14:45

That'd be great. That'd be so sick,

1:14:45

man. And you're like,

1:14:50

I'm the person who cried for him

1:14:50

like Oh, really? This is

1:14:52

awesome. Thank you for letting me know. I

1:14:54

thought that would be so awesome

1:14:57

actually. Not understand that.

1:14:57

It's hard. It's gonna happen.

1:15:01

It's gonna happen. Man, I

1:15:01

appreciate you coming on.

1:15:06

Is there any last

1:15:06

words? If not, that's totally

1:15:09

fine for returned missionaries I

1:15:09

don't think so. Everything I've

1:15:19

ever said, we talked, we said

1:15:19

everything. This is the way.

1:15:25

Well, everybody, thanks for

1:15:25

tuning in. And I'll see you next

1:15:29

week

1:15:37

thanks thank you so much for listening to this episode of release the podcast

1:15:39

is really fun to have Dalen on I

1:15:42

hope you guys learned something,

1:15:42

there is actually a really good

1:15:45

challenge. In this episode. He

1:15:45

talks a lot about people that

1:15:50

feel on the outs, people that

1:15:50

don't feel as included. And so I

1:15:55

guess the challenge to you would

1:15:55

be find somebody that is that is

1:16:00

around you, whether it's at

1:16:00

church, whether it's at school,

1:16:03

whether it's at work, maybe he's

1:16:03

a roommate, or she's a roommate,

1:16:07

somebody that often feels left

1:16:07

out, try to try to reach out,

1:16:12

invite them to something, just

1:16:12

start a conversation with them.

1:16:15

Anything really just so you can

1:16:15

better understand who they are.

1:16:20

Again, thank you for listening

1:16:20

to released. If you are

1:16:23

interested in being on the

1:16:23

podcast, please reach out to me

1:16:26

at released the

1:16:26

[email protected] I'll tell you

1:16:30

what to do to submit your story.

1:16:30

And also reach out if you have

1:16:35

anything to share anything you

1:16:35

want me to touch on anything you

1:16:39

want me to improve upon. I am

1:16:39

all ears. If you would please

1:16:43

leave a review, subscribe and

1:16:43

share it with a friend. And

1:16:48

remember God is good and is

1:16:48

planning on your success. And

1:16:52

even though you've been released

1:16:52

from your mission, you've not

1:16:55

been released from your ministry.