0:01

From Exactly Amount of podcast. We all have

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this is Cheeks from Cheek Ease and Chill

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Yo It's dramas from Life

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as a Gringo podcast. You

1:55

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1:57

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3:00

me a day I was doing, you

3:03

already know, as usual, this is

3:05

exactly amota of production of

3:07

my Heart Radio

3:10

as you as you already know again, I'm exactly

3:12

myself, unfiltered, uncensored.

3:15

But I said whatever I want, it is

3:17

what it is, take it or lately, and that's

3:20

why today I want to talk about

3:22

I want to talk about something real media. I've

3:25

never I've never said this publicly,

3:27

and that's why I love my podcast because it gives me an opportunity

3:30

to really put out now my secrets.

3:32

Because who the hell said that this has to be a secret. It's

3:35

just getting nobody asked me, so I don't feel the need

3:37

to say it better. How

3:40

how important is it

3:42

to really understand who you are as

3:44

a person, to really accept

3:46

who you are as a person, to really

3:48

be vulnerable, to really expose

3:51

yourself to the world, regardless of what people have

3:53

to say about you too, to

3:56

be open enough to tell

3:59

your family who you are and how

4:01

do you feel the most comfortable with? UM.

4:03

And that's why I want to talk to a friend

4:06

of mine. Before I get there, I'm gonna

4:08

tell you what back in

4:11

I ain't gonna say how long ago, But back in a

4:13

long time ago, I UM,

4:15

I was experimenting with my sexuality.

4:18

I was exploring. I was trying to understand who

4:20

I was, what I liked. I think

4:23

it's normal. I don't know. I think

4:25

it's normal, UM to sometimes

4:27

be curious, to sometimes want to know, to

4:29

sometimes want to understand. Do

4:32

I like my friend because I just like her and I think

4:34

that she's pretty? Do I like my friend because

4:37

I'm into her? Do is

4:39

there something wrong with me? What

4:41

would my mom say? UM? What would

4:43

my friends say? Do I

4:45

need to go to therapy? Do? I?

4:48

You start to question so many things, And

4:50

for three years solid I used

4:52

to only date women. I used to

4:54

only date women. I never made it public because

4:57

I felt embarrassed. I felt

4:59

like, oh my god, what are the people gonna say

5:01

you know. And and I also heard,

5:03

especially in the Latino community, how

5:06

they spoke about other women, they liked

5:08

women. It was like la

5:13

this like that all the like. It was just

5:16

looked like in such a bad like

5:19

in a bad light. And I just felt

5:21

like, damn, is there's something wrong with

5:23

me? Is there? I just felt like it was my fault,

5:25

like I'm doing something wrong without

5:28

understanding that is part of life

5:30

for you to be able to feel free and

5:32

make your own choices. And who the hell

5:35

says that there's a guide book, that there's a rule

5:37

book on how to live your life or

5:39

who to love. There isn't

5:41

one. And I also remember when I told

5:44

my mom, Actually, my mom found out

5:46

because I was dating this girl, which

5:48

by the way, I only like studs. So I

5:50

was dating this girl or whatever, and she came

5:52

over to my house. My mom was at work, and

5:56

when I heard my mom coming in, I was like,

5:59

oh, my mom's coming. No, no, no, you

6:01

can't be here. My Mom's gonna kill me.

6:04

And then, you know, for those that don't know, you know

6:06

studs um she wore sports

6:09

brawl boxers. You know,

6:11

she had a more male like energy,

6:14

and my mom, of course was gonna know

6:17

that you're not just a friend, Like what are you doing

6:19

here? And I was like, go to my closet, go to my

6:21

close. She ran into the closet. She hid in side

6:23

my shoes. But I see that for like

6:26

four hours solid, waiting

6:28

for my mom to go to the room or something

6:31

so that she can leave. And all of a sudden,

6:33

my mom goes, I mean,

6:35

how you know they haven't seen it? How

6:37

my day went a And she just

6:40

wanted to have a long as conversation

6:43

in my room and heard my shoes

6:45

jiggling when she opened

6:47

the closet. I'm not gonna say

6:49

her name, so she's not embarrassed or whatever. Not that

6:51

she should care, okay, because first of all, you should be proud that

6:53

you used to me. But um,

6:56

she was there, she was there, and

7:00

we had to have that conversation and my

7:02

mom, my mom cried. She

7:04

made me feel real guilty. She

7:08

prayed. You know, she told all

7:10

her friends the disappointment I

7:13

was as her only child to

7:15

now you know, like women and

7:19

um, and it was a lot. It was a

7:21

lot, right, I personally

7:23

decided to get say, oh, I don't know.

7:26

I wanted to explore with something else, and I

7:28

don't know. I never went back to dating women,

7:31

but it was so traumatizing.

7:33

For that moment, I felt like I was like

7:35

the cursed child, like I

7:38

did something so bad. And

7:40

someone that I'm really proud of the way that

7:42

she has handled her life

7:44

experience, um, her

7:46

sexuality. She encourages

7:48

other women that are that are

7:51

you know, going through it, that don't know how to express

7:53

it to their families, that feel

7:55

like they're they're trapped, that they just can't be theirselves,

7:58

that people are going to judge them, that we're gonna

8:00

look down upon them.

8:02

Someone who has been there,

8:04

done that, She's had her own experience.

8:07

But I just love how comfortable she

8:09

is in her body, how comfortable she is in her

8:11

space, how she doesn't hide who she is,

8:14

who she doesn't feel the need to pretend

8:16

to be somebody that she's not. Um,

8:18

she's an activist, she's a singer,

8:20

she's a podcaster, she's a

8:23

a musician. Oh yeah, she's everything.

8:25

Oh by the way, and she's more

8:27

don't care you, Um, that's my girl.

8:29

Emily Stefan was good.

8:32

Okay, First of all, I

8:34

am a fan of this incredible

8:36

podcast. Okay, Number

8:39

tea and oh

8:42

my god, I love it, you know what I mean.

8:45

We need places to listen that we feel

8:47

like we have a home and a community. And

8:49

the way that you speak, the way that you advocate

8:52

for so many different people, it

8:54

makes us feel less alone, and

8:56

that's what we need nowadays, you know what

8:58

I mean? And number one

9:00

for number two. For

9:02

me, I am a

9:05

different kind of um

9:07

LGBTQ advocate because

9:10

I think, why do we need

9:12

to come out as gay? Right?

9:15

Like if you want to come out, and if

9:17

you want to do that for yourself,

9:19

that's great, but you don't come

9:21

out as straight. Like I want

9:24

a world right where my

9:26

children can say, you know what, maybe

9:28

I'm gonna go on a date with a girl tonight. Maybe

9:31

a might not like it. Maybe I'm going to go

9:33

on a date with a guy tonight because I'm interested.

9:35

Better at the end of the day, you

9:38

know, we don't have to feel like you said,

9:40

like there's something wrong, like

9:42

like there's something wrong with us for experimenting.

9:45

I think as human beings, even as

9:47

mammals, right, we see

9:49

there are animals who don't even practice who

9:51

practice monogamy, like lobsters,

9:54

you know, like and there are animals who

9:56

practice different kinds of you

9:58

know, sexual practic This is, but from

10:01

the dawn of time, there has been

10:03

homosexuality within every

10:06

animal, every human being, you know.

10:08

So my journey, my personal journey,

10:10

is explore without

10:12

feeling like you're being suffocated,

10:15

without feeling like there's something wrong with you. Because

10:17

for example, for me, I prefer

10:19

women, but I have been with

10:21

as many men as women.

10:24

Honestly, and looking back,

10:26

I can tell you my experience is different

10:29

with men than with women, you

10:31

know, I can. I can tell that I prefer some

10:35

kind of experience. I have

10:37

some you know whatever. But at the same time,

10:39

I'm not repulsed by men. I'm the kind

10:41

of individual that explores

10:43

everything that humanity has to offer. So

10:46

my whole thing is, I don't like boxes

10:48

Lakajas si Ancosas.

10:51

You know what I'm saying. We need to, in

10:53

my opinion, live in a society of openness

10:56

where we're not criticizing people,

10:59

Like how come a man can't

11:01

explore, you know, a

11:04

fantasy and say, you know what, I didn't really

11:06

like that, and I prefer women, and

11:08

we don't have to shame him, you know what I mean?

11:10

Like, listen, girl, also I've

11:12

been with a lot of man you know, they

11:15

like that booty they like that booty stuff.

11:17

You know what I'm saying, Like, you know how to be

11:19

a shame for that? You know, I

11:21

know a lot of guys that be like, oh, I'm

11:23

a man, this and that butter

11:25

on the low. When you'll be in your room,

11:27

you'll be telling her to eat that booty hole. And those

11:29

say, now that you'll be telling you to eat that booty hole,

11:31

you'll be like, oh, just a little men. I've

11:34

done it, and I've been open about it. I

11:36

I have, you know, experimented,

11:39

I pegged. I pegged before, and I

11:41

was open about it on the show. I mean not

11:44

a lot of times. I did at one time,

11:46

and it was very empowering. It was very

11:48

empowering to feel like now you're in my bit and I got

11:50

that ask. But

11:54

but oh if for you For people who don't

11:56

know what pegging is, pegging is when you

11:58

put on a strap on it.

12:00

It was a moment I explored. I

12:02

tried it. I'm Dora the Explore.

12:04

I had to explore things. I had to try things, and

12:07

I feel like it's so it's even

12:09

harder for men to try to experiment

12:11

things without getting judged for it. Even

12:14

women ourselves judge men when

12:16

they want to explore with their sexual I don't when they

12:18

want to explore with their body and they're like, it's

12:22

not like they're going out there and trying it with the man, and if

12:24

they choose to do it with the man, thumb being, it is

12:26

what it is, is is their bodies. But I just feel

12:28

like in society

12:31

we can be so judgmental when it

12:33

comes to people's sexuality. No

12:36

doyo no, I doyo

12:39

no I. If they want to

12:41

go over there and explore and try something,

12:44

let them be them. You worry about

12:46

you now, I'll ask you this, When did

12:48

you start feeling like an attraction? I

12:50

know that me personally, I started

12:53

seeing like like a person. I don't know why,

12:56

but I never like fems. I was

12:58

never into girls that were like like me or

13:00

whatever. I like more the masculine energy

13:02

in in certain girls. And

13:05

I started when I was like in middle school.

13:07

When did you first ju seeing like even

13:10

though you dated men um that you were

13:12

like, well, she's kind of cute, Like I

13:14

don't I wouldn't mind. I lost

13:16

my virginity to a female and

13:19

it was great, and then shortly

13:22

after I was like, something must

13:24

be wrong with me, like you said, like, oh,

13:26

what's wrong with me? Like I have to find

13:29

the nearest male that I

13:31

can try this with to see if I'm

13:33

broken, you know, or something like that.

13:37

And my mom used to say something to me

13:39

all the time, there are as many sexualities

13:42

as there are human beings, And

13:45

at first I didn't really understand that, but

13:47

now I get it because everybody

13:50

has their own thing, their

13:53

own spectrum of what turns

13:55

them on, what they like, what they don't

13:57

like, and I think that gender lies within

13:59

that when it comes to sexuality, because

14:01

like I said, I've had great experiences

14:04

with males, but when I'm with females, it's

14:07

a different experience,

14:09

right for me. For me, I prefer

14:11

it more because also, you

14:13

know, like we also have to realize

14:16

that a lot of people are watching porn, you

14:18

know, for so many years, and porn

14:21

is also kind of an unrealistic, you

14:23

know, depiction of sex, you know

14:25

what I mean, and kind of like what sex

14:28

me, I talk

14:30

about it? Yeah, no, so you know, like

14:32

for me, you know, porn is great, it's

14:35

healthy whatever, you know, Like that's

14:37

what kind of for me, gets

14:39

in the balance of what's the normal human

14:42

development of sexuality and then what

14:44

are we being fed that we think is

14:46

sex which is coming with all this aggression,

14:49

with all this kind of like oh,

14:51

why aren't straight women coming, you

14:55

know what I mean? Like why why do

14:57

we need to educate different

14:59

groups on how to pleasure

15:01

both kinds of people? That's why I

15:04

think personally, like for

15:06

me, um, you know, like

15:08

we need gay pride because we've

15:10

been suppressed for many years. But

15:12

my point is that that's why we that's

15:15

why we bubble up, because we feel

15:17

like we need a voice. But also for me,

15:19

if you go too far and you create too

15:22

many boxes, then where's

15:25

the equality, you know, like if we

15:27

have lgb hex

15:29

that that that that then the only people left

15:31

are straight people. And I've had people

15:34

say to me, you know, like piss on CIS,

15:37

which means if you're CIS gendered, that

15:39

you're identified with your generals, Like, you

15:41

know, that's not okay. I think that we need to

15:43

love humanity and create

15:45

spaces for everybody. That's why

15:48

to your point, if a straight

15:50

male is trying to experiment, he

15:53

shouldn't be shamed because in

15:55

the male gaze. If he's going anywhere

15:57

other than the straight male you

16:00

know kind of box, he's gonna get shamed

16:02

for that. Why what the l Women can

16:04

make out with women and oh it's hot, it's

16:07

hot, right, it's hot if you're

16:09

a girl, but it's not hot if you're a guy. It's gay.

16:11

You know, Like, what the hell you

16:14

know? So I'll ask you this,

16:16

like for example, well one,

16:18

if you could have told the younger you because

16:21

I don't know, personally

16:23

it was I. I I was a little

16:25

bit traumatized, a little bit. Um.

16:28

I wouldn't even say when it came out the closet because I don't

16:30

feel like I came out the closet. I

16:32

didn't she did, you know. My mom

16:35

was the one who caught her. But I don't feel like

16:37

I came out the closet. It's just something that happened naturally,

16:39

something that just you know, happened. Um.

16:44

It was traumatizing, like I said before, because I

16:46

never want to fail my mother.

16:49

I never want to disappoint her. And I

16:51

felt like I had done that by

16:54

by not being with a man, by

16:56

saying, you know, I find

16:58

her hot, like I like her, I like to

17:00

cut with her. I like to be with her. I

17:03

like to she's funny,

17:05

she's you know, sexually,

17:07

because that's another thing. And my mom was like, oh, you're always

17:09

gonna do this, it's like, you know, smash each other. I'm

17:11

like, no, there's there's a lot of other things you can do,

17:14

you know. I sold her. I was so open

17:16

with her. I sold her my strap

17:18

on um, which was really

17:20

mind but I just want to have a bonus one there just

17:22

in case she came. But like I

17:25

sold her all my things, I just wanted

17:27

it. I wanted to sew her like this

17:30

is what it is, this is what I do. If

17:34

there's nothing I don't

17:36

think there's anything wrong with it. But you see

17:38

how you see how organic

17:40

I am with it that it doesn't make you feel

17:42

uncomfortable. That's how I was with my

17:44

mom. I wanted to not make it awkward,

17:47

Like you have the rights to choose what you

17:49

want. I have the rights to choose what I

17:51

want. Eventually, she wasn't upset because

17:53

in her mind she was like, at least you're not gonna get

17:55

pregnant now. That was her mentality. She

17:58

felt like, oh, you're going through a phase. Later on, you'll get over

18:00

it, but it was traumatizing

18:02

for me. Was it traumatizing for you

18:05

when you made it

18:07

not public? But like when your mom or

18:10

your family or like close people to you found

18:12

out. Were you embarrassed? When you traumatize

18:14

it, you feel scared? Were you're nervous? Um,

18:17

we're uncomfortable? Like, how was

18:19

that experience for you? So

18:21

there was a Red Table Talk

18:24

which you were on Red Table

18:26

whoa whoa the first

18:28

season. Uh, we had an

18:30

episode about my coming out journey.

18:33

And a lot of people don't know this, but

18:35

when we have those Red Table Talk episodes,

18:37

we talked for hours and then it gets edited

18:40

down and a big

18:42

part of my journey that was taken out

18:45

was that my coming out was

18:47

taken away from me. Uh

18:49

in a very strange way. It's

18:52

a very long story. It's very

18:54

convoluted. But by

18:56

the time that I was ready, because,

18:59

like you said, when you feel like society

19:01

has imposed this is wrong,

19:04

You're doing something wrong. I feel ashamed.

19:06

You have to kind of build up the courage

19:09

to tell your loved ones, hey

19:11

I love this person, Hey I'm bringing this person

19:13

around. It's not like quote unquote

19:15

normal, like, oh, you're dating a guy. They

19:18

would almost be excited that you're

19:20

bringing someone around. So

19:22

by the time that I um,

19:25

I went to my mom

19:27

and I told her, Hey,

19:30

you know, I gotta tell you something. This is going

19:32

on. I'm in love with this girl, which,

19:35

trust me, my fucking was

19:37

in my throat, you know what I mean, like that cold

19:40

feeling where you just want to freaking pass

19:42

out. And she

19:44

said, you don't think I already know that, because

19:47

somebody had double crossed me and

19:50

sent a video to my mom

19:52

months before on Snapchat of

19:55

me slow dancing

19:57

with Jem still my partner.

19:59

Now we weren't doing anything sexual,

20:02

but we had specifically told somebody,

20:04

don't tell anybody. You're the first person to know.

20:07

And the first person she sent the video too was

20:10

my mom's camp. So

20:12

by the time I was ready to tell her,

20:14

she had had that video for a month. And

20:18

the first reaction was, oh, you don't think I already

20:21

knew that. I was like, was

20:24

it bad or she was cool? No,

20:27

she wasn't cool. She wasn't

20:29

cool. And that's what we talked about on the show

20:31

because she had been manifesting

20:33

these emotions for

20:36

a month plus and I had been

20:38

building up the courage to quote unquote

20:40

come out, which I don't even believe in, you

20:43

know what I mean, I don't really believe in coming out. And

20:46

then my grandmother was still alive at the

20:48

time. So then here comes this old

20:50

Latin influx of the

20:53

old people in the family can't handle it.

20:55

You know, it's your responsibility to keep it a

20:57

secret. Well, when you tell somebody

20:59

you love to keep a secret, what

21:02

does that entail? You can't be yourself.

21:04

You can't hold your partner's hand in public.

21:07

You have to think twice when you're showing

21:09

acts of affection. And I don't mean anything inappropriate,

21:13

you know, I just mean normal affection,

21:16

you know what I mean. And even

21:18

now things are coming up that I didn't

21:20

know. We're a problem because

21:22

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21:25

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21:27

I understand which this is

21:29

the Latino influx, the paradigm

21:32

that we face here. I'm just trying to

21:34

protect you, Okay,

21:37

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21:39

me. But I'm a human being living in a

21:41

different time, and my idea

21:43

of protection is being myself.

21:46

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21:49

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21:51

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21:53

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21:56

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21:58

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22:02

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22:09

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Farm. It's the I

26:05

do you think that you would have told your mom earlier?

26:08

Like, after all the experiences and everything you've been

26:10

through, if you could have gone back in time, would you

26:12

have told her earlier? Or would you have waited

26:14

as long as you did? Mm

26:17

hmmm. I think

26:21

in retrospect, nothing

26:24

that I would have done would

26:26

have changed the outcome. Uh.

26:30

I think that the

26:33

older generation, especially

26:36

of Latinos, are grandparents

26:39

who grew up in other countries, oftentimes

26:43

under religious regimes,

26:46

uh, communist regimes, whatever

26:48

it may be. They came

26:50

from a different life, and

26:53

to try to integrate those lives,

26:57

it's not possible. I

26:59

will say, I think

27:01

that boundaries in the Latino

27:03

community are virtually non

27:06

existent. You

27:08

know. I think that even with our

27:10

mothers and our fathers,

27:13

we have difficulty drawing boundaries,

27:16

and boundaries are really important. Yes,

27:19

you know, yes, because then well

27:21

I have I everybody knows that I love my

27:23

mom, my mom's, my best friend, La Water

27:25

or whatever. But it is so hard

27:28

for me to put her boundaries in

27:30

a way that she understands. I am

27:32

an adult. I mean, yes, I came out of

27:34

you. I get that part. I mean think you very much because

27:36

anytime every time we argue, you make sure that

27:38

that I know I

27:41

get it. Great, thank you for bringing me. However,

27:44

now I am an adult. I have my own

27:46

voice, I have my own opinion, I have my own vision,

27:48

I have my own feelings, I have my own likings,

27:51

and we're not always going to agree. Doesn't

27:53

mean that I love you less. Doesn't mean that I did certain

27:56

things to hurt you, because that's the first

27:58

thing that Alie is my mom will

28:00

do, or a lot of Latino parents will do. What

28:02

did I do to deserve this. I

28:05

was the best parent that can be. It's not about you.

28:08

Everything is not about you. You know. It's

28:10

like I have my own experience as my own things

28:13

that I'm going through. So here's

28:16

something else I'll say because and

28:18

I know what I would say, because I, like I said,

28:20

I went through it in a different way. You

28:22

know, my experience only lasted three years,

28:24

which three years is a pretty long time to me. Um

28:28

three years with you know, different relationships.

28:31

I don't regret it. I

28:33

I love the girls that I was with. I

28:35

loved that I was able to explore an experiment

28:38

with my sexuality. I

28:40

love that. I love that I lived because

28:42

a lot of times people are curious

28:44

and keep this in their minds and won't do it.

28:47

I lived, I tried it, I did it.

28:49

I'm not there at this place at this moment in

28:51

life. But now, if

28:54

you could tell there's two things. One,

28:56

if you could tell uh the Latino

28:58

community or parents, parents

29:00

that have kids that are going through the same

29:03

the same experience that we went through at a certain

29:05

moment, whether it is that we feel uncomfortable

29:07

and we wanted to you know, let our

29:10

parents know this is our sexual

29:12

preference and I hope you don't get

29:14

upset by it. What would you tell

29:16

to these parents that don't know how to take this

29:18

information, that don't know how to react, or

29:21

brothers and sisters or whatever. If you have a family

29:23

member that right now you don't

29:25

know how to process this information, or you

29:27

have a suspicions that you know you're

29:29

little, they might be gay, they

29:31

might have a different sexual preference, what

29:33

would you say to them?

29:36

You just said it amazing, You just said

29:38

sexual preference. Right.

29:41

There are a lot of people who are

29:44

born and they say, I don't

29:46

even want to have sex with the other sex. Balls

29:48

repulsed me. Futballs, I hate

29:50

balls? Right? And

29:53

then there are people who are

29:55

like, why can't I

29:58

try? Prefer rents?

30:00

Right? It's called preference for a reason.

30:03

You know what my you know what my loud,

30:06

loud, loud call is to the

30:08

youth. It is let your

30:10

children explore. Just

30:13

because you're with a girl doesn't

30:15

mean you're gonna marry a girl. And if you are

30:17

amazing, why does it matter to you?

30:19

You need to be able to explore

30:23

without feeling like you're a disease.

30:27

Why can't you try? Why

30:29

can't you follow your intuition

30:31

without feeling guilt. Guilt

30:34

and fear are the enemy of love. And

30:36

you know what love is, unconditional

30:38

love. True unconditional love

30:41

is making a space for things

30:43

that you don't understand. If

30:45

you don't want to suck a dick, don't suck a

30:47

dick, but make space for people to suck a

30:49

dick, because guess what, it's not gonna bother

30:51

you. If you don't want to watch it,

30:53

you don't gotta watch it. If you don't gotta be around it,

30:56

you don't gotta be around it. Let people

30:58

do their thing. Preference

31:01

is preference. Some people like chicken,

31:03

Some people like steak my dad. I

31:06

love my fucking dad to death. You know his

31:08

analogy on gay people. Some people

31:10

like right some beings. Some people like I'm burn

31:14

No, But we spoke a lot about your MoMA

31:20

where we know that, we have a lot about machismo,

31:22

right, um, where there's a lot of

31:25

a lot of that. You know, I'm

31:27

the man and women are supposed to do this,

31:29

and um, I

31:31

know a lot of men for some

31:34

reason are more accepting of

31:36

their daughters. And they choose

31:38

to say, well, I personally rather be

31:40

with a girl in comparison

31:42

to their son tells them, I'd

31:44

rather be with a guy. So I

31:48

don't under you know as I understand

31:50

it, but I feel like me that like no, I

31:56

think that people, especially in the Latino

31:58

minorities, need to became more well educated

32:01

and more open minded when it comes to their children,

32:03

when it comes to a family member overall wanting

32:05

to choose to explore with their body, with their life,

32:08

whatever it is that they want to do. I

32:10

I feel that these conversations are

32:12

so important because I feel like if this conversation

32:14

hits at least one person, like it hit

32:16

one person, then we did our

32:19

job. We were successful in our

32:21

message because I know we can't change

32:23

the world, but we're trying

32:25

to like get the message

32:27

across. These conversations need to continue

32:29

happening because you're still right now. There

32:32

is a twelve year old girl, a

32:34

ten year old girl right now feeling some type of

32:36

way, who's afraid, who's

32:38

scared, who doesn't know what she's feeling in

32:40

her body, who doesn't know how to express it. The

32:43

same thing happens with a little boy, and

32:45

these conversations are in Parents are important.

32:47

Parents. If you're out there, stop

32:50

being so damn judgmental. Let

32:52

your kids explore with the bodies. Let

32:55

your kids decide and tell you who they

32:57

want to be. Stop trying. Just

32:59

because you a birth to them, just because

33:01

you are raising them, doesn't mean that they

33:03

belong to you. They belong

33:05

to the world. Just love

33:08

them, give them love, appreciate

33:10

them, hear them out. You know how many kids

33:12

commit suicide because they don't know how to express

33:15

themselves or because they feel trapped. Because

33:17

they feel trapped, the person who's supposed to protect

33:20

them and make them feel safe and make

33:22

them feel is the first one judging them

33:24

and putting fingers at them and making them

33:26

just like UM. I also heard that there's

33:29

these places come say, I'm all these places that a

33:31

lot of parents send their kids to where they're like

33:33

um or

33:35

like um like try Yeah,

33:39

they try to pray the gay away and they try

33:41

to um these certain camps

33:44

that they do all types of craziness

33:47

just because you disagree or you

33:49

don't understand with their

33:52

you know, with their sexual preferences and their

33:54

choices. When you have children,

33:56

which I'm sure eventually maybe I don't know.

33:59

Maybe first of all, you're you have

34:01

been in a long, long term relationship,

34:03

which I'm so happy and I love her, by

34:05

the way, shout out to my girl. Um.

34:08

Eventually, when you when you have children,

34:10

if you guys decide to do

34:12

you think because there's a lot of ignorance

34:14

behind that too. And I say that because there's certain people

34:16

that want to adopt children and the

34:19

society doesn't agree that they should because

34:21

of their sexual preference. Do

34:23

you think that your sexual preference

34:25

will be an issue for your children? How would you raise

34:27

them? How will you make them understand? I'm gonna

34:30

be honest with you. Uh, we

34:32

have a lot of you know, straight

34:34

friends. I don't know why I put that in quotes.

34:38

We have a lot of straight friends children.

34:41

We have

34:43

a lot of straight friends who have

34:46

children, who have toddlers. We love

34:48

having babies over the house. And that's the

34:50

funny thing. I'm adam, I'm gonna tell you. We

34:53

don't talk about the fact that we're gay. We

34:55

don't talk about the fact that we're two women.

34:58

We wake up and we exercise

35:00

our values as human beings. There

35:03

are so many people on this earth. Fuck

35:05

your sexuality. How about being

35:08

a fucking good person, How

35:10

about making good choices? How

35:12

about not putting a screen

35:15

in front of your child for twenty

35:17

three hours of the day. We have

35:19

people around us who have babies, and the babies

35:22

come over and we will make it a point

35:25

to say, I didn't have a phone until

35:27

I was seventeen. You know what my idea was

35:29

playing was going outside, going

35:31

in the pool, playing with legos.

35:34

We are being poisoned by

35:37

being young and exposed to

35:39

dangerous things. We need to

35:41

go back to what life really is.

35:43

That's my real consensus,

35:45

honestly, and honestly, I think

35:47

that sexuality is the same way.

35:50

We don't have to over complicate it.

35:52

Human beings from the dawn of time,

35:55

from the Roman and Greek ages,

35:59

have been loving one

36:01

another, regardless of the gender.

36:03

Children need mothers and

36:05

fathers or mothers no matter what.

36:08

Like I know people in my family who

36:10

are even against adoption because

36:12

it's a difficult thing to deal with.

36:16

But I think for

36:18

me and maybe it's I have to acknowledge

36:20

my privilege. I've grown up in a world

36:23

where if I want to adopt a puppy,

36:25

it's easier for me than other people. But

36:28

at the same time, I gotta be honest. My

36:30

father, God bless that man.

36:33

He was homeless for four years.

36:35

He slept under a truck. And we

36:37

will be on the beach and

36:40

like you know, the boogie boards, like those things

36:42

that you like, it's like you

36:45

go on the We'll be out in

36:47

the water and he'll see a dragon fly

36:49

or an aunt out on the water

36:51

and he'll save it, like he'll put it on the

36:53

board and he'll take it out to shore to save it.

36:56

Like his compassion is

36:58

infectious. So I bless

37:00

my privilege and I honor it. But it's

37:02

taught me a different perspective on life, which

37:04

is if you can help help, And

37:08

like you know, I've

37:10

had people who have gotten pregnant accidentally

37:13

and have been like, oh shit, you know what

37:15

I mean. And I'm like, for me, when I want

37:17

to have a child, whichever way I want to do

37:19

that, it's going to be a challenge. You

37:21

know, it's gonna be a decision, it's

37:24

gonna be a process, which

37:27

is fine. I honor that process.

37:29

But having a child is

37:31

a privilege, like we are, this

37:34

earth is all we have. Like you

37:36

know, everybody makes fun of me. I literally

37:38

have alien tattooed right

37:40

here on my arm because everybody

37:43

is obsessed with leaving the planet, and

37:45

I'm like, we need to protect this planet and

37:47

we need to make it the best

37:50

that we can, and every day it gets

37:52

worse and worse. So if I can help a

37:55

baby live and be better,

37:57

you know, that's just my prerogative. But again I

37:59

have to acknowledge my privileged standpoint,

38:02

you know, like, if you're out in the world and you're gay

38:04

and you don't have money and you don't have means,

38:07

I don't even I can't even imagine trying to have

38:09

a baby. That would be I would be wrecked.

38:16

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wasn't prepared for it. I wasn't looking for it.

41:56

Said that this was the right time. I

41:58

am pregnant of two, I am a blessed

42:02

and see them and the end. Okay,

42:04

like you said, ass

42:10

and nah, I mean,

42:12

I know that there's a lot of great parents out there

42:15

looking for that opportunity, and I just wanted

42:17

to put it out there. But if you

42:19

had any last words for

42:21

parents for kids out there, for

42:24

the world overall about

42:27

acceptance of accepting who you

42:29

are, accepting your reality, accepting

42:32

your surroundings, accepting life,

42:34

your truth, what would you say, MM

42:37

hmm. You know what, I know that

42:39

it's ironic, and it's like, if

42:45

you don't learn to love yourself, how

42:48

the hell are you gonna love somebody

42:51

else. I know that it's ironic

42:53

and it's crazy if

42:55

you are dependent on anything to

42:58

get through your day, whether

43:00

it's another person, substance,

43:03

uh, social media. You

43:06

know, we need to learn to face

43:08

ourselves, and a lot of times that is the

43:10

hardest thing I'll tell you to myself,

43:13

your ugliest habits, your

43:17

disgusting traits, your lies.

43:20

You know, you know what you're doing as a human

43:23

being. But the hardest thing to do is

43:25

face yourself. So what I would say is be

43:27

honest with yourself. Learned to be

43:30

at peace. Gontigo. You

43:32

know, because like you said, you know, like

43:34

you're growing two beautiful babies in

43:36

your womb right now. You are everything

43:39

they need. And God bless you,

43:42

you know, for having your mother who loves and supports

43:44

you, and you guys are a team and that's

43:46

a beautiful thing. But there

43:49

are so many people in the world who don't

43:51

have family, who don't have anywhere

43:53

to lean, and I know that it sounds crazy,

43:56

but we need to learn to love ourselves

43:58

and it's the hardest thing to do in this I'm

44:00

still on that journey. I'm still on

44:02

that journey. I have late days where I

44:04

don't even want to get out of bed, where

44:07

I feel poisonous. But

44:10

getting closer to yourself is the hardest thing.

44:12

So that's my last thing. And you know

44:15

I love you. I love you too. By the way,

44:17

where can they follow you and check out your

44:19

music and check out how late you are? And

44:22

oh the red table talk I'm being that triangle

44:26

porn slash only fans,

44:29

No, just kidding, okay,

44:40

step you

44:42

can follow me on hashtag

44:44

I am a super fan of hashtag

44:49

will change the world, hashtag

44:51

I'm at as that bitch, hashtag

44:53

I'm out as the Golden Bitch. Yes,

44:56

yes, I

44:58

Kellina, thank you so much. I

45:01

feel that this conversation is so important. I

45:04

feel by the way, today you found out some some

45:06

stuff about me, just in case you didn't know. I

45:08

just wanted to be open and I want to be honest,

45:10

and I think that exactly, Amata. Is that space

45:12

where I don't want to judge you. This is not

45:14

a space for me to judge anybody. I just want

45:17

to hear your point, your point

45:19

of view. I want to know your perspective in life. I want

45:21

to know you know what

45:23

your future looks like, and find

45:25

a space where you don't feel like you know I'm

45:27

here to tell you what's right or what's wrong. No, that's

45:29

not what exactly Amata is. Amata is a safe

45:32

space, um. And it's also a

45:34

space for us to get educated and share

45:36

this information with other people. That's why I want

45:38

you to make sure to rate us. Make

45:40

sure to rate us and give us five stars,

45:43

and make sure to share this podcast

45:46

with anybody that you know. If you know anybody

45:48

that's going through a situation similar or

45:50

that might need to hear this, please make

45:52

sure that they hear this podcast. Because we

45:54

did this with so much love, with so much respect.

45:58

I was just gonna tell you something that you didn't know. It

46:00

was a little bit of a secret. But you know, I'm gonna

46:02

drop that tea right now, real quick. That

46:05

day that we did the Red Table Talk episode,

46:08

Yeah, I have a little bit of tea. Yeah, tiny bit

46:10

of tea. That day that we did

46:12

the Red Table Talk episode. Um,

46:16

you know, my grandma passed away before

46:18

I got to tell her about my sexuality

46:21

and everything. That was like a whole thing regarding

46:23

my coming out, and ever

46:26

since she's passed away, I've had certain

46:28

moments of validation that I feel

46:30

like I've been like sent from angels.

46:33

And even in that moment, I feel bad

46:36

because I'm like, damn, this

46:38

should be going to the person, but I'm

46:40

receiving it. And your mom

46:43

pulled me aside that day and

46:46

she was like Mommy, mommy, mommy,

46:50

Yo. Say hey, yo, you know you

46:58

want to know ya Yokoka know you

47:01

think like she validated you

47:03

know, And I was like, whoa. We're

47:06

living in a world now where

47:08

older generations are learning

47:11

and growing and they're willing to do

47:13

so for us and

47:16

for your mom, who I had just met

47:19

that day, to validate something

47:21

that you know, my grandma passed before

47:23

she could do. Like, that's something that I will never forget.

47:26

So I wanted to just tell you that and

47:28

extend my love to her, because you know, it might have

47:30

been tough for you, and I know that that's difficult,

47:33

but I think that she's growing and evolving

47:35

because she really validated me that day. So

47:38

I'm just telling you killen that, know,

47:40

I mean, thank you so much. My mom

47:42

is such a great person. But that being let me tell you

47:44

something. The only reason why the older

47:47

generation is becoming more open minded

47:49

is because of people like you and me. It's

47:52

because of people like us that we're willing to um

47:55

educate them and we're willing to show them

47:57

that this is love. We don't mean to harm anyone.

48:00

We're not doing anything wrong. We just

48:02

want to be accepted for who we are. And if

48:04

who we are is not the perfect version

48:06

of what you visioned for us, that's

48:09

okay too. So it took

48:11

me a long time to get her to where she she's

48:13

at now, but now she's more open

48:16

minded and more understanding, and she'll ask

48:18

me things like I'm gonna, okay, getta see

48:20

there? So what is that? And I like her

48:22

asking questions. I want you to ask. I don't

48:24

want you to be ignorant and sit there

48:26

and judge because you don't understand

48:29

it. So I think that that's important. And you know

48:31

what, if you have any questions and

48:33

you don't understand, feel free to slide

48:36

up in Emily's d M and ask her whatever questions.

48:39

But you're gonna also exactly yes

48:42

DM her, but you canna also go to exactly

48:44

a made on all social media platforms. Go

48:47

check us out on our YouTube channel at Amada

48:49

La Negra a l N or exactly a Mada

48:51

on the search bar. Don't forget to rate

48:54

us. Rate us five stars because you know that our show

48:56

is late Gang Gang Gang. And remember

48:59

to also share share this podcast with anybody

49:01

that you know there's going through it, anybody that you

49:03

feel to this conversation. They need to hear this, whether

49:05

as a parent, whether it's an uncle, whether it's a

49:08

sister, whether it's someone who's going through

49:10

the transition or trying to understand them their

49:12

sexuality at this moment. Feel

49:14

free to share this podcast because you know that we're

49:16

doing this with so much love and as respectful

49:18

as possible, even though that you know that I'm scandalous.

49:21

This has been a production of I Heart Radios micro

49:23

through that podcast network. I am so honored.

49:26

Oh and you already know you cannot not

49:29

not not miss the red Table talk

49:33

in same deal and they really be meta. They

49:35

got some tea and they really be hitting

49:37

some valid points that we do have to check out as

49:39

well. For more podcasts from my Heart, visit

49:41

the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast,

49:44

or wherever you like to listen to your favorite

49:46

podcast Emily Stefand

49:50

as for coming through, hit me with the shoulders.

49:52

With the shoulders, they

49:57

do so much for coming through your amazing

49:59

guys you already know over here every Thursday are

50:02

needed. You are needed, you

50:05

are needed. This podcast is needed.

50:07

They a'm all many many more than

50:10

honest. Thank you, mommy, thank

50:13

you. Give

50:19

us the op attention. We need everything you've got

50:21

fast. Waiting on Reparations would beat the Illness

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