0:00

Prompt Us is a production of I Heart Radio.

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Welcome back to the prompt Us Podcast.

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You may have heard of us talked about these episodes

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in previous episodes of the podcast. The

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lost tapes are episodes that we recorded

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before Lockdown, before we couldn't

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visit each other, which makes these episodes almost

0:16

two years old. Crazy. They're almost

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like our demo mix tape episodes. Welcome

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to the prompt Us Podcast. Where you

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start the conversation, we'll be discussing

0:26

topics focusing on personal,

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spiritual and professional growth.

0:32

I am Gabriel Conti, and to my left

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we have the Ugo Master Zachary,

0:37

and to our right Zachary

0:39

Stains and to our right we have the Poker

0:41

Master, the Chad Masters.

0:43

What was everyone's favorite? You go a Pokemon?

0:45

Well, I mean I did both. I did both,

0:48

but I wasn't like, I wasn't like child's level,

0:50

competing with like the sling on your arm for like

0:52

your tournaments. I have a legit have trophies

0:54

from you, tournament trophies. I

0:57

felt so bad because I was, like, you know, I wasn't I think a metals

1:00

cool? And then I'll go to these U tournaments with all

1:02

these there's like older guys there, and

1:04

your boy was just like blue eyes

1:06

white and my

1:08

brother had one of those, and I was always so jealous. I was

1:10

like, I never get any good courage when I buy the

1:12

path from Maalmart. I mean, I'm not gonna

1:14

lie. I had a lot of those. But I what

1:17

really made my deck

1:19

special. I had to really nonstate that there's

1:23

reasons plane podcast, guys, I swear

1:27

what made my card words

1:30

I'm just trying to say, is

1:34

all my trap cards is that there's

1:36

a lot of people would look at me, wouldn't think that

1:38

I had such a masterful set of traps

1:40

ready for him to step into. Dang.

1:43

Anyway, I really don't

1:45

even fully relate because

1:47

I never like battle. That was just like collected them. Anyway.

1:50

Yeah, it wasn't the podoct. It's called Dueld. For those

1:52

who were wondering, Okay, this and

1:54

this is podcast, I'm

1:56

just like trying to chat, I mean act just like chat.

1:59

Get over, let's move on to

2:01

the podcast. Okay, I think

2:04

it's your turn to she's a problem, big dog, it's my

2:06

turn. All right, I'll do it. But so

2:08

so, basically, the deal is is we have three

2:10

prompts sitting on cards on

2:12

the table right now. We have never seen

2:15

them and we don't know what they are. We're picking

2:17

one which will be the topic of conversation for

2:20

this podcast. These prompts are from

2:22

you. These prompts are from the audience,

2:25

and they were selected by my lovely

2:27

wife Jessica and Zachary's

2:30

lovely fiance. And

2:33

I think Tori also did help. She

2:35

yeah, she did. Actually, yeah, Tory

2:37

mosses Yeah, and shout out to my wife

2:40

and Jake helped. Actually, I'm stay farm

2:43

my videographer. Um. Shout

2:47

out to the to the producers of the show. If

2:49

you guys ever want to submit any proms,

2:51

little questions or anything like that, you can hit

2:53

us up on our social media accounts

2:55

podcast d M prompt

2:58

this podcast on Instagram and

3:02

Twitter, whichever one were there, Ready

3:04

to receive the prompts from you guys. Yeah, Mr

3:07

Kunti, So in the spirit of

3:09

Yugo, I'm shuffling you

3:12

to draw your car like you're drawing it

3:15

from a deck of cards. Okay, I'm just picked from

3:17

top, right from the top. All right, we shuffled

3:19

it right, Okay. Prompts

3:22

upside down over every

3:25

single time. Okay, oh

3:30

oh, I pre read it because it's

3:32

a quick one. A lot of them were like long sentences.

3:35

This one's quick. Are you ready? You

3:37

want? You want the prompt, you want the front? Okay,

3:42

guys, the prompt is what are your thoughts

3:45

on getting married? Young

3:49

shaking his head, he's like, I'm engaged.

3:53

Well this that's kind of interesting because now

3:55

we'll have some different perspectives. We will

3:57

also also let's just say, hello, to

4:00

be married for three years? How are you been

4:02

married nine and a half months? And then like, I'm

4:04

engaged, So I feel like, well, well, let me clarify,

4:08

by this time that this is airs, will be past

4:10

three years. That's true. Yes, And by

4:12

the time this airs for you will almost probably

4:14

probably a year almost yeah, or

4:16

right around them. Okay. So with that said,

4:20

I think we can add a little history to all

4:22

this as well, like our current ages,

4:25

how long we've been married or whatever,

4:28

and then like the age that we were

4:30

married, stuff like that. So um, for

4:32

myself, I am

4:35

at this point of recording almost three years at the

4:37

time this releases will be past three years married.

4:41

Excuse me, just glare my throw That

4:45

one was that one was dirty I'm

4:48

sorry for anyone listening. People

4:50

project out vomiting right now, so

4:53

you know when people to get contagiously like vomit. Yeah,

4:56

someone vomited. Okay,

4:59

anyway, we're was I oh, yes, I am currently

5:02

twenty five years old, married for

5:04

three years, and I got married when I was twenty

5:06

two. My wife was twenty So I I fall

5:09

I think I fallen into the youngest

5:12

married category between us

5:14

three Where Chad, you

5:18

tell us about you, You tell us about you, baby,

5:20

you do you bo. I'm currently twenty

5:22

nine. I got married nine months

5:24

ago. I was twenty eight and my

5:27

wife is twenty six and she

5:30

had a so she was twenty five when we got married.

5:32

Okay, sweet nice, it's been

5:34

a blast because that's not almost a baby,

5:37

I keep telling your baby. I'm just feeling the vibe.

5:40

I'm sipping on my coffee right now, just like oh

5:43

summer vibes in the in

5:45

the in the winter, in the technogue

5:47

in Australia, summer ribs for years

5:49

at you take it away? Um so so

5:52

engaged for two weeks at

5:54

the time of recording news, which is crazy, pretty

5:57

much a week and a half. Actually, it's not even

5:59

now, dude, in two days it'll be Yeah,

6:02

it's fine. Um, I don't

6:04

know how Chelsea is. She's probably thirty three

6:06

or something. I think, my

6:09

god, that's gonna I'm

6:12

cool now I'm twenty three, almost

6:14

twenty four, and Untils is twenty four,

6:16

so not by much. But yeah, so

6:19

when you're married, how I'll

6:22

be twenty four, like we'll both which

6:25

is I guess still pretty young. Yeah,

6:28

that's especially it's in today's

6:31

perception when you should get married, it's

6:34

probably like around thirty, which

6:37

is which I guess. It's fine. Yeah, no, no,

6:40

I'm not. It's definitely shifted a lot with with

6:42

school and college more specifically

6:45

being being like a step towards

6:47

marriages. Like before people would just graduate high

6:49

school and then start working for a family

6:51

business or just a local job, and then they get married.

6:53

But now there's between three and

6:56

six years extra where

6:58

people are still exploring things. Yeah,

7:00

which is that's actually crazy to think about. Yeah,

7:03

so, um, what are your thoughts I'm getting married

7:05

young? Do you well?

7:07

I'm going to throw it back to you even though you just asking,

7:10

because I would love to. I mean, I need to water

7:13

and sip some water because

7:16

I think that you have some good insight on

7:18

this, because I mean,

7:20

we we don't have an a game, and

7:22

I grew up in church world, so I feel

7:24

like I'm used to the idea of people getting married young. I'd

7:27

love to see your thoughts on it, because I know you've had a lot

7:29

of friends that also got married young. Literally

7:31

all my friends back home married each other. Yeah, well

7:35

that just sounded funny, you know, literally,

7:37

like we had like our our squad was like the guys

7:40

and the girls, and they all basically paired up

7:42

and they just poked it out simple maths. Yeah, hilarious.

7:45

So some people were left alone, but then they

7:47

found their people. Why do you think everyone got

7:49

married young? That's what I was kind of. Um, it was

7:51

the definitely the environment that we grew up

7:53

in. We were definitely

7:55

encouraged to do so, so from just from

7:58

like and this might sound a little crazy when

8:00

I when we explain it, but from a Christian perspective,

8:04

like you're trying to obviously stay away from sin,

8:08

you know, from stumbling before

8:10

marriage if you will. And um,

8:15

with that, like that's one piece. Then there's like

8:17

the protecting your heart for the right person and

8:19

just being really intentional through the whole dating process

8:21

and and knowing like, hey, you're

8:25

either gonna break up with the person you're dating

8:27

or you're gonna end up marrying them. Those are the two

8:29

options that are on the table once

8:31

you are in a relationship. So like, don't

8:34

get into a relationship unless you're seriously

8:37

considering marrying that person. You know, So

8:39

all of those factors, like like

8:41

those factors and and there's more I think that we'll get

8:43

into as the that I'm just not able

8:45

to pull up off the top of my head right now. Just as

8:48

this podcast continues, I know we'll talk about and touch

8:50

on um. But a lot of those

8:52

things are reasons

8:55

to like. Growing up,

8:57

I was always like, whenever I was meeting some

9:00

one who like could be for the sake

9:02

of a better term, a candidate of a

9:05

candidate that could potentially be my wife, UM,

9:11

I always approached that

9:15

relationship or friendship or whatever with

9:18

the lens of

9:21

seeing if it could be a potential marriage

9:24

or not. You know. And if like I was like I don't want this person

9:26

raising my kids, I don't want to spend the rest of my life with this person, I

9:28

didn't even touch it. We're most we're most people. I

9:30

was saying, today's dage. It's kind of like not

9:33

like casual dating, because I'm sure they go into

9:35

it like seriously quote unquote serious. But

9:37

it's serial dating. Oh

9:40

that's what people call it nowadays. It's seriously. It's not

9:42

my term serial dating, just habitual

9:45

daters where you just date from just date to

9:47

date date because they don't want to be alone. There's

9:49

emotional dependency there, there's relational dependency.

9:52

And by the way, I'm not these are not shots fired.

9:54

This is something that the people are developing

9:57

in terms of like sociologists the

9:59

big word. Look at me, you smart

10:03

guy. Fancy dude. Anyway,

10:06

what was I saying after he said, after he said

10:10

they just date a lot? Is what you Yeah,

10:12

there's there's a difference there, you know what I mean. So like

10:14

I'm an advocate for dating young, but I'm

10:17

also an advocate for

10:19

for like not serial dating. Excuse me, dude, we

10:21

just have to lunch and and

10:24

like do you think so? Is that? Why? Is

10:27

that why your whole friend group? Then I

10:29

guess we're in a similar vein of like understanding

10:32

and is that why I ever got married young? Well? Yeah,

10:34

let me explain a little bit of like the way

10:36

I grew up, so like I would grew up being homeschooled,

10:38

and we had like this homeschool community back

10:41

in Florida where I grew up in Like everyone

10:44

like we were all friends. A lot

10:46

of us went to the same churches, a

10:48

lot of our parents were friends with each other, so

10:51

everywhere we went, we were kind of being fed the

10:53

same message and

10:55

consistency. There was no like friend in our

10:57

friend group who had different values than us, so

11:00

we all knew like if

11:04

there were, Like

11:06

I didn't date anyone in my friend group because I

11:09

just didn't. I left and you know what I mean, I came to

11:12

l A and yeah, and then ended up meeting

11:14

Jess and work

11:16

out why

11:18

didn't work out for your

11:21

guy um

11:23

anyway, But like it

11:26

it's like hard to explain, you

11:28

know what I mean, Like we all grew up with the same values

11:30

in the same community.

11:33

Like as far as like on a on a like

11:35

me hanging out with my dudes back in the day, like we

11:38

would go to one of our say I

11:40

would go to my buddy Ricky's house

11:43

and his dad was there. Sometimes his dad

11:45

would like pour into

11:47

us and speak to us about certain topics or

11:49

whatever, and there was kind of this like

11:52

unspoken yet spoken standard

11:56

of how we are to treat women, of how

11:58

we are to conduct ourselves, of what

12:00

we are supposed to and not supposed to do. Like the first

12:03

kiss thing was kind of looked down upon because

12:05

we knew that we should be saving that for the person that we're gonna

12:07

end up marrying, you know what I mean. We're

12:09

like normally in a middle school, high

12:11

school age friend group, it's like you're

12:14

trying to kiss as many people as possible, just like

12:16

because boys or boys, you know what I mean.

12:18

Like that's just like a thing where for our group

12:20

it was different, which was super rare. Yeah, especially

12:24

now, like leaving leaving

12:26

home and going out and like just making

12:29

friends in different places and traveling

12:31

the world and stuff like that, Like it is extremely

12:34

rare. And that's one of those things that I look back into my life

12:37

and I'm like, wow, God was really protecting me by putting

12:39

me in that place, you know. So anyway,

12:42

those are sort of like the things that we grew

12:45

up with that kind of let

12:48

me put it this way, we were practicing

12:51

our whole time growing up to be

12:53

prepared for marriage. Being comfortable being

12:55

single, being comfortable with our relationship

12:58

with God, and kind of preparing our hearts and

13:00

minds for marriage, where a lot of

13:02

people are not doing that, and they're not they're not

13:04

even exposed to it and having those conversations,

13:06

you know what I mean, and it takes a while for them.

13:08

Then then they're like maybe like in their twenties

13:11

realizing like, oh maybe I

13:13

want to get married at some point or whatever it is,

13:15

and then they start taking it more seriously. But you

13:17

do have to while you're single. You do have to practice

13:23

what you want to replicate in your

13:25

marriage. Like I always say, what you act as

13:27

what you attract. So if

13:31

you're single or like

13:34

not singling, like doing the serial dating thing, like you

13:37

said, and just like kind of going from one person

13:39

to the next to the next, you're kind

13:41

of practicing breaking

13:43

your heart up with someone and moving to the next person. The practicing

13:45

breaking heart with that personal and it becomes

13:47

a normal thing for you. And if that's what you're

13:49

practicing, that could really

13:52

really likely carry over into a marriage relationship

13:54

and cause a lot of problems. Yeah,

13:57

so so, and like there's that there's

14:00

even like talking about I

14:02

know, it's like a sensitive topic, but like talking

14:04

about like pornography and stuff like that.

14:07

If you're practicing that when you're single, which

14:10

is super easy to do, especially

14:12

as a dude, that can

14:14

so easily carry over into

14:17

your marriage. And like there's like that honeymoon

14:19

phase when it's all like first fun

14:21

and exciting and everything, but then like that, over

14:24

time it can just like you can fall back into that practice

14:27

because you have practiced it so much when you were single.

14:29

So how are you acting when you're single? Is

14:34

is like what you're practicing when

14:36

you're single is what

14:38

you were then more likely than not going

14:41

to continue to replicate once

14:43

you were in a relationship. And and then when I say

14:45

what you act as what you attract, you want

14:47

to act like the person you want to end up

14:49

with, you know what I mean? Like if

14:51

I had met Jess and I

14:54

was, you know, like dating around or

14:57

sleeping around and just doing all these things that

14:59

she wouldn't have it to do, she wouldn't have been dating me.

15:01

She wouldn't have started dating me, you know, Like she

15:03

knew that she wanted to save herself for someone and

15:07

I did too, And when we met, our values aligned

15:09

and then we both knew that we had to take

15:12

excuse me a wisious scruts getting emotional. We

15:15

both knew that we want to like take care of each other's hearts

15:17

and stuff like that. And Yeah, anyway, that's

15:19

like kind of a long spiel because this is like

15:21

a question that can be hit from so many different directions. But

15:24

like it's it's kind of like the mindset that

15:27

you have. Because

15:29

I'm looking back at the question, like what are your thoughts I'm getting

15:31

married young. There's like a lot of pros, there's

15:33

some cons and stuff like that. It just like depends

15:36

on perspective. But I think it's more

15:39

you need to have no matter what age

15:41

you're at, you need to be in the right

15:43

mindset, you know what I mean, and like practice

15:46

the right things to end up

15:48

in a healthy marriage relationship and then continue

15:50

to practice those healthy habits while you're in

15:52

a marriage relationship. Because even there's

15:54

people that are probably like maybe

15:56

like divorced at thirty five,

15:58

they got married at thirty to us at thirty five, of them to get

16:00

married again at forty then get divorced again,

16:03

and it might be because they're similarly

16:06

practicing the things that they were when they

16:08

were younger that caused them to

16:10

not And

16:12

I don't like saying that like

16:15

super lightly because I know a lot

16:17

of people deal with divorce and stuff, story

16:20

and everything, But um, that's

16:23

just kind of what I've I mean, I

16:25

think there's so many things

16:28

that if people knew, if young

16:30

people knew and practiced to

16:33

to I guess, to protect themselves from future

16:35

hurts if they really knew it, and

16:38

I think a lot more people would practice it

16:40

and then end up getting married younger. But

16:43

I think there's like a compounding effect which is

16:45

super interesting, which is people

16:47

are not practicing safe relationships

16:50

and therefore it's

16:52

causing emotional hardships

16:54

and their current relationships, which pushes

16:57

back the time frame that they

16:59

get married till later. And later compounds

17:02

because the more baggage you bring

17:04

to a relationship, the less people

17:06

are gonna want to be with you. The

17:08

more relationships you go through, the more baggage you

17:10

have. And

17:12

so I think that's why the

17:15

age has just dramatically increased

17:17

recently, you know, And you

17:20

know it's like the whole you know, I really liked

17:22

what you mentioned about, um, you know, waiting

17:24

for marriage, you know, in terms but a lot of like

17:26

people who aren't Christians don't really maybe

17:29

understand that. But if you like understand

17:31

the why, you know, if you understand the

17:34

purpose of that practice rather than it just

17:36

being like a rule in a book, but rather like how

17:38

cau this can't protect me. You're very good at explaining

17:40

that. So I would love for you to break that down for us. So

17:42

I'm gonna break it down for you. Break it down, baby,

17:45

I'm just calling you baby. On this podcast you

17:47

forgot my name talking about relationships. So

17:51

there's an analogy I heard once and it really impacted

17:54

me, and I just wanted to share it with the audience, and

17:56

I hope that's cool. But so so basically,

17:58

imagine you're in a freezing cold

18:01

cabin and there's no heat, and there's

18:03

a fireplace. There's no fire, right, and

18:05

you're freezing your your butt off, right, You're

18:07

just like you're, oh my gosh, it's so there's

18:10

a blizzard happening right now, and you

18:12

don't know what you're gonna do. And then there's a knock on

18:14

the door, right, and

18:16

then hope that works, that will be dope.

18:20

And so there's a knock on the door. The sound effects

18:22

from Zack's soundboard. So

18:24

so, so you open the door and you see

18:27

a box sitting there, and there's firewood,

18:29

and then there's there's a lighter, and then there's like

18:32

instructions for how to light this and all that

18:34

you know. And then you take that firewood

18:37

in the and that lighter flint whatever it is, and

18:39

and the instructions you toss out the instructions.

18:42

What's going to happen if you light that fire

18:45

on top of your bed? Your

18:48

bed's gonna be on fire. And then which is going

18:50

to cause the house to burn down? Okay?

18:53

What's gonna happen if you put it in the fireplace

18:56

like you're gonna have warm, You're gonna it's gonna warm

18:58

the entire place. But guess what, It's not going

19:00

to warm the bedroom as fast as you what you

19:02

wanted to. It's not going to give you the instant

19:05

gratification like what you want, okay,

19:07

because it takes longer for it too warm. But

19:10

now you don't risk burning your entire house down.

19:13

And so so what people, what I really want

19:15

people to know is that with Christians

19:17

and primal sexes, it's not that we're

19:20

we just want to like old and oh my gosh, that's

19:22

just sin. You know what it is is we

19:24

see how powerful sex is, We

19:27

see the power of it and how great it can be,

19:29

but also how dangerous can be. How

19:32

it can literally be the thing that either

19:34

warms your entire house, improvides

19:36

warmth for you, or can burn your house down.

19:39

And so if you just toss away the instructions

19:42

to something that's that powerful, then

19:44

you're you're you're playing with fire. Yeah.

19:47

But another thing is most people aren't of

19:50

the understanding of how powerful it is or

19:53

just don't like diminished the value of

19:55

sex. Yeah, you know what I mean, which is

19:58

which is interesting, which is very interest same

20:00

mindset. Where do you think that comes from? You know, like

20:02

where do you think is that just it's

20:04

sold that dude? I mean it's yeah,

20:06

it's sold every like nowadays. Dude, you walk

20:09

you walk down like here in l A. You just walked down

20:11

the street and on a billboard. It's just you

20:14

know, it's sex is

20:16

being sold to us everywhere. You know, can I can

20:18

I use another example and I want

20:21

you guys to use your best Dude,

20:23

where did you hear that example? Did

20:26

you make that? Frank Turik from there's

20:28

an app called UM. I

20:31

think it's got got questions

20:33

or UM it's something like that, because that was

20:35

so money. Yeah, Frank Turik shout out. So

20:38

I'm using another example and use

20:41

your discretion. If this is good enough to put

20:43

in or like it, maybe you know what I mean. And

20:46

so to answer your question,

20:48

what you're saying, is that about why that why

20:51

that kind of sexual culture is so prevalent

20:53

and it's and people don't tend to give

20:56

it the the um

20:59

the spect it deserves, you

21:01

know, is that here's

21:04

another analogy, imagine imagine

21:07

UM, Zach, I hold, you don't know if I use this for example.

21:10

And by the way, there's no true questions. Okay, just answer

21:12

first thing off your head. I love how you always ask Zach

21:14

the questions. Like Zack answer this question for me, it's

21:16

not a trick question. And I want

21:19

to be sensitive with how I asked this because I know that there are

21:21

people that are affected by what I'm gonna say, and so I

21:23

want to be very sensitive. So just hanging

21:25

in there with me, Zack. Imagine

21:28

you got punched in the face, A good

21:30

punch, right, but nothing crazy. How long

21:32

do you think it would take you to heal from that, like

21:35

a few days, maybe a week,

21:37

two weeks if it was a really good one, okay,

21:40

two weeks. Imagine that you

21:42

were abused sexually. How

21:44

long do you think it would take you to recover from that? If

21:48

sex was just physical, you

21:50

would repair and heal just as

21:52

fast as getting hit in the face. Sex

21:55

is not just physical. It's spiritual.

21:57

It's personal. It goes to the ups

22:00

of our souls. And people are not seeing

22:02

it as that. They're seeing it as something

22:04

that can just be tore around with physically. They're

22:07

not seeing the effects it's actually having on the emotionally

22:09

and spiritually. Oh

22:15

no, I mean yeah, I mean I

22:17

think it is. But I think that's that's just showing

22:19

the depth this is.

22:21

Really it's really hard to explain the

22:24

importance of understanding that, you know, like especially

22:27

on a practical level. Like

22:29

it's easy if you like all subscribe to the

22:31

same ideology and like belief and we're all like,

22:34

okay, let's start with the Bible

22:37

and then move from there, and then you kind of can come

22:39

to the same conclusion, you know what I mean, But from if

22:41

someone doesn't share the ideology, explaining

22:43

to them, like the reasons

22:46

why it actually works practically as well is

22:49

something you definitely have to work through, which I think, Chad, you

22:51

have done a very good job at like

22:54

piecing together on an explanation

22:57

that is satisfactory for someone who

22:59

doesn't believe this same thing you believe. I had to do it

23:01

for myself. I I always now when

23:03

I explain it to friends who are maybe

23:05

questioning my decisions or

23:07

different things like that, I always say, I explained

23:09

my philosophy before my philosopher, and

23:12

so I like to explain the reason why torrent

23:14

I didn't live together before marriage, why we wait

23:17

um until marriage to have sex, and different

23:20

things like that, I explained the philosophy

23:22

behind it. And then they're like, oh, wow, that makes a lot

23:24

of sense. Where'd you come up with that from? Yeah,

23:26

well, the Lord the book.

23:29

Then let me tell you about this book? Can I tell you about this book?

23:33

I mean, I think and even with the example you gave,

23:36

um, I think there's something about it's

23:38

not just about respecting that person, but respecting

23:40

yourself and understanding what that looks

23:43

like and what you need from that. And I think especially

23:46

bros and as dudes were like we

23:48

sometimes ignore that part of us

23:50

and be like, oh, that's just the thing that we feel. But

23:53

I guess, and you brought up previous second when

23:55

it comes to things like pornography and that kind of stuff, if

23:57

it was the thing that we just felt and it was just like

23:59

the need, then we

24:02

wouldn't be addicted, you know, like people wouldn't

24:04

be addicted. Does that make sense? So I think

24:06

it's just really I think guys are told

24:09

generally, oh yeah, it's fine, like the sex

24:11

part of it's fine, it's fine just in

24:13

general by the world because

24:16

we're maybe we're quicker to understand or

24:18

get into it, whatever it may be. And

24:20

I think that's actually what I have learned from a lot of like

24:22

the strong women around me, is realizing

24:25

that that's not the end all of something, you

24:27

know. And even Chad you said this the other you said this a

24:29

few times now about how like the is

24:31

it ten percent intimacy? I love

24:33

that you were hanging out, Yeah, not even hanging

24:36

out, And that's kind of I think super

24:38

forgotten, especially as male because

24:40

we can only speak as males, but like, especially

24:43

as dudes, I just

24:45

feel culturally we sometimes forget that

24:48

that it's like, oh no, but I just want to make it out all the

24:50

time. And it's like, well, bro, like you guys best

24:52

friends, like it's it's really

24:54

something I had to learn and that I

24:57

think as guys we can turn So

25:00

I think as guys we can turn off, um

25:03

a lot of the emotional side of intimacy

25:06

and just let it be just physical and

25:09

like you're actually able to or you think

25:11

you're able to. It's probably where I think

25:13

I'm able to. But just speaking

25:16

like cannily right now, it's where I'm

25:18

learning that my wife can't do that. She she

25:21

it's more of like, um, oh, I get what

25:23

you're saying. It's like it's like almost like getting in the pool.

25:25

I can do canniballs all day and I'm in the I'm

25:28

in the pool. I'm here, you know where

25:30

my wife it's a steady walk into

25:32

the pool and where there's a lot of

25:35

pursuing and a lot of emotional

25:38

pursuit and love that that comes

25:40

up to that point where I'm learning, just

25:42

like what Zach said that um, I

25:45

need to respect the way

25:47

that she walks into its intimacy

25:49

as well. Yeah, that's

25:52

good, and now I want to take that as a launching board,

25:54

because that's just in a sense,

25:56

why not to have sex right away? Now?

26:00

Why would you get married young? I

26:02

really liked what you said. I'm just gonna say that someone I was.

26:05

I really like what you said that. I'm a big

26:07

proponent for getting married young, if

26:09

you're ready, if you kind of grew

26:12

up with that intentionality. One of the

26:14

biggest things that bothers me sometimes is if

26:16

I'm on set and people this

26:18

is before I was married, but you know, uh,

26:21

you know, it's only even nine months, so this is even

26:23

as as recent as this year. I would be on set

26:25

and people and makeup artists or whatever

26:27

would just be like, oh my gosh, you're too young to get

26:30

married. Just like go have fun, and you're you're still

26:32

a kid. And then that that in

26:34

and of itself, is then the beginning

26:36

of practice to

26:39

push off marriage even longer and longer and longer,

26:41

and and it compounds. And the thing that always bothered

26:43

me is like, I pay the government a

26:45

lot of money in taxes, I have chest

26:48

hair, and like, I'm

26:50

not a child. You know, my parents, by

26:52

the time they were my age, they had two kids, you

26:55

know, around like five and

26:57

two. By the time they were my age and at home.

27:00

Know that's not to compare, but it's just like, I'm

27:02

not a child, but there's still people that will

27:04

look at me as a twenty nine year old and still

27:06

be all you're You're still so young, You're still a child.

27:08

And I feel like I I

27:11

I became a Christian around your age, Zach, and

27:13

so I it really did take me probably

27:16

four to five years to get to

27:18

a place where I felt emotionally ready, like where

27:20

Gabe was at twenty two, I think, right,

27:22

yeah, yeah, where I felt good. And

27:24

so definitely don't get married if if

27:27

you're not ready, you know what I mean. But I

27:30

I love the idea of getting married young. Do

27:34

you feel like you've missed not? I'm just gonna

27:36

keep asking questions because, like I guess, for me, I

27:38

am younger. Right, So, do you feel

27:41

like it was the best I

27:43

mean, you'ren't gonna say it's not the best timing.

27:45

Obviously, the way everything's rolled out for you and Toy is

27:47

the best timing. It's like God's timing on it. But

27:49

do you do you feel like it could have happened earlier?

27:53

This is the funniest thing between touring me all the time?

27:55

Is I wish it were earlier? You

27:58

guys know the story, Beau, the audience tell hilarious.

28:00

I met Tory back, laughing the fact that

28:02

this you're gonna tell us right now. I met Tory

28:04

back in two thousand and fourteen, and she was

28:07

she was at a Miss America pageant and

28:09

I was at a Comic con convention. We're

28:11

both at the same convention center in Orlando, Florida,

28:14

and a friend of a friend introduced us, and

28:16

from then on we I I really wanted to date

28:19

her, and I wanted to take things further, and

28:21

we went on a few dates. When was that? That was back

28:25

old, are you guys? I was twenty

28:27

four, she was twenty one in

28:29

that ballpark. Yeah, I don't know exactly

28:32

the month that we met, you know what, I but

28:34

yeah, so she was probably two and

28:36

I was twenty four, and

28:39

so you know, I'm sorry I was turning twenty four

28:41

that year. I was probably twenty three actually, and

28:43

so Chad, Yeah, which is weird

28:46

to think young Chad dude, Yeah, not

28:48

much has changed. You know. I have a

28:50

few grades that you already except you are ready

28:52

for marriage. I really, man, I was like,

28:54

this is it, this is it, and then she like

28:57

ghosted me and she friends owed me for like

28:59

four years. And so that's always

29:01

the joke is she always says, like, babe,

29:03

we weren't ready for marriage at that time, but

29:05

like I still low key wish we got married back,

29:07

you know, like I wish we would have gotten to a relationship

29:10

and then pursued marriage from there, but it

29:12

didn't work out that way. So we actually

29:14

have conflicting views, you know, like I wish it would

29:16

have been a long time ago. I wish I wouldn't

29:19

have spent those four years without her. It's

29:22

interesting that she sees the value of having

29:24

spend those four years though, you know, like you're looking

29:26

at the same situation, but she can go, you

29:29

know, like as much as four years. We could

29:31

be technically four years not ahead, but you know

29:33

what I'm saying, four years into it, She's like, we

29:35

wouldn't be here with that. That's such a good

29:38

example of like me, I'm on the jump into

29:40

the pool, and she's easy emotionally

29:42

walking to it, and so she's good taking

29:44

her time, and I'm like, let's just jump, you know it.

29:47

But that's also goes back to like, yeah, I get

29:49

married young if you're ready, you know what I mean. And

29:52

um, it's

29:54

cool seeing that God's

29:56

plan ultimately prevailed, you know what I mean.

29:59

Like we talked about it one of the previous podcasts

30:01

about like God's will and we were talking about

30:03

like prayer and just like talking

30:06

about like God's will over your life and

30:08

kind of like inviting that regardless of whether

30:10

you want that or not. And

30:13

that was God's will for your life, you know what I mean, which is super

30:15

cool to see. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

30:18

I think it's really cool to see that. It's cool,

30:20

you know that famous versus so many people know that, like

30:23

romans, God works all things

30:25

for good for those who love him are called according to his

30:27

purposes. And what I love

30:29

about that is that even if Tory and I

30:31

were screwing up his will, you know, even

30:34

if we were like messing with the plan, he

30:36

still accomplishes his goals. You

30:38

know, he works through the chaos and he works through it.

30:41

And yeah, just so so crazy Praise

30:44

the Lord right there. So

30:47

then I keep wanting to tie it back to the question

30:49

what are your thoughts? Is the prompt what are your thoughts

30:52

on getting married young? Well,

30:54

I like what you said, Chad about if it

30:56

feels like the right thing to do, if it feels

30:59

like it's the right time it feels it's called timing. And

31:01

heck, yeah, I also think getting

31:04

primoral counseling before you get married is a huge

31:06

thing. Yeah, I agree with that because

31:08

Jess and I never did because we were going to but

31:11

because she lived in Australia, I lived in California,

31:13

and at that time I didn't know any

31:16

like any

31:20

like authority in church yet

31:22

that I could fully trust to

31:25

counsel Jess and I. So that was in Florida,

31:27

people who I would have gone to, and it was just so difficult

31:30

to like coordinate between Florida,

31:32

California and Australia too. Um,

31:34

So we didn't end up having that premortal

31:36

counseling, and I wish we did because there's things that

31:38

we've run into that's like, okay, now,

31:40

this is this is something we have to work through, even

31:43

though it was something that we

31:45

could have worked out through premortial counseling before.

31:47

And I really highly suggest that because

31:50

I know there's people, excuse me, I know there's

31:52

people who have like called off their weddings

31:54

because they went through premortal

31:56

counseling and realized due

31:59

to like pastoral bounceling and stuff like that, and

32:01

through like prayer and really talking about like

32:03

the hard stuff that you don't that most people don't really talk

32:05

about before getting into marriage, that it wasn't

32:07

right. You know. So that's actually a

32:09

big one as far as like a practical

32:12

step to get done. Yeah. And I think

32:14

that ultimately people just need to have a healthy

32:17

view on marriage. You know, there's so

32:19

many books that you can go through that. There's a Meaning of Marriage

32:21

by Tim Keller. I did that one. There's

32:23

one by Francis Chan I think it's called You and Me,

32:26

uh for Eternity or something like that. You know,

32:28

it's a book pastor Josh recommends. Yeah.

32:30

I want to say, yeah, I know Francis

32:32

Shannon has when I just I think what was really

32:35

just important for us all in all was just to get

32:37

a really healthy view of marriage, um,

32:40

love and respect. I just looked

32:42

at it on the shelf because I knew I had one on the shelf that

32:44

was good. Love and Respect is a good one.

32:47

We're looking at my book shelf and there's Boundaries

32:50

in Marriage by I think it's John Townsend

32:52

and it's by John Townsend and Henry Cloud.

32:54

I think I um Boundaries

32:56

in Marriage or even just Boundaries in personal life is

32:59

a great book books. And I think

33:01

what's I think it's really good to do is

33:03

like too. I don't want to say remove yourself

33:06

from the equation, but don't let those

33:08

like googly eyes make you make decisions

33:10

that aren't like good. It's

33:12

you know, I've mentioned this in every YouTube video tour

33:14

and I've done or every podcast. I always

33:17

mentioned this that I listened to this speech

33:19

by Pastor Rich Brokerson and he was talking on

33:21

relationships, and he had said, you

33:23

know what, you know what, what what

33:26

gets you at twenty five and thirty won't keep

33:28

you fifty five and sixty, and so you

33:30

need to actively be pursuing the things they're

33:33

gonna keep you and sixty. You know, you need

33:35

to have a different look on marriage

33:37

other than oh, this is just gonna be super easy,

33:39

blah blah bla blah blah, We're just gonna have sex and you

33:42

know everything is great and dandy. You need to have like a

33:44

realistic view of like, wow, okay,

33:47

how does this person feel about discipline

33:49

in children? Yeah, Okay, how does this

33:51

person feel about donating to the church. Does

33:54

this person wanna be volunteers in

33:56

the church? How do you know? You gotta have those really

33:58

hard conversation that can be

34:01

really Greek because they built intimacy, They

34:03

build like communication and things

34:05

you wouldn't do in another person, you know, Like there

34:08

are things, I mean, my dad sent me a list really similar

34:10

to that the day classic shadow

34:12

Dad, big phil stains,

34:14

but like the day that are yeah,

34:17

right, the day I called him. I'm like, hey,

34:19

I'm going to propose the chells, like I think this is something

34:21

I want to do. He's like, yeah, I'm stoked for you.

34:23

And some contexts like my dad's been divorced

34:26

and so for him it means

34:28

even more like a list of things

34:30

that go do you take this stuff like seriously?

34:32

And then and it is it's just like questions

34:35

even just like what's your opinion on sex? Regardless

34:38

of what the opinion, just what is do you have one?

34:40

Have you thought about it? You know? And um,

34:43

things about where would you love to live? Do

34:45

you want to travel now? Or travel? Like things that

34:47

we think is so simple, especially

34:50

dudes, just to talk about because it's like easy for us to

34:52

talk about, I know, especially us three, but

34:54

like the voice, but

34:57

I think some things that I'm like, oh damgn, like these

34:59

are things that I need to be actively

35:02

talking to Chelsea about because

35:04

they are, like you said, Chad, the things like how do you discipline

35:07

kids? It's like, well, yeah, that could

35:09

literally wedge itself in between a relationship

35:12

like a marriage. Oh so much. Yeah,

35:14

it's goes to that. I always

35:16

go to that. I don't even I don't

35:18

know where it is in the Bible, but it talks about being equally yoked,

35:21

not yolk, not like an egg yolk yoke

35:23

and freaking

35:26

jacketed. No, no, no. So being

35:29

equally yoked is a

35:31

term that was derived from basically

35:35

like back in the day when they would like farm the land, they

35:37

would be like to oxen

35:39

or whatever was pulling you know, the whatever

35:41

they were doing on the field and stuff. But they would have a yoke

35:43

on them which was basically this big like plank

35:45

of wood that would go over the both the necks

35:48

of the two cow or oxen or whatever that we're pulling.

35:51

Um, that were like harvesting the land or forgive

35:55

me for my lack of knowledge on farming

35:57

but um, the yoke

35:59

would be on their net X and it would keep them in

36:01

line, right next to each other. And if one

36:03

of them was to go a little farther ahead

36:05

than the other one, well

36:08

no, it could break the others. Yeah.

36:11

Yeah, So it would force them to stay right

36:14

next to each other and one

36:16

not move farther ahead or behind or

36:18

whatever because there was dire consequences.

36:21

So that's a term in the Bible that they talk about, um

36:25

in in marriage because

36:27

you need to be equally yoked on

36:31

all those things, all the important

36:34

things, you know what I mean? Um, And there's

36:36

like like you don't have to be

36:38

like Jesse and I were not equally yoked on the TV

36:41

shows that we like. You know, I like deep

36:44

action dramas and Jess likes to watch the

36:47

you know, lighthearted comedy rom coms and stuff

36:50

like that. Like that's a non issue. What

36:52

I'm talking about is the deep stuff,

36:54

like literally, like, how

36:57

do you see us raising our kids one

36:59

day? You guys talk about that a lot, not to get

37:01

into that heaps, but about you know, doing

37:04

that in a public sense. What does that look like? Those

37:06

are the real conversations that I've had with you guys,

37:09

and it's been really what do you mean in a public sense,

37:11

Well, like you know, like doing um,

37:13

like like your work is influencial work, right,

37:17

we're going with kids.

37:19

Yeah, and it's obviously encouraging that you guys feel

37:21

the same about it. But it is those deeper questions

37:24

that are the things you really

37:26

need to know, right, Like I mean, my I

37:28

remember at a youth camp that um,

37:31

a youth past I can't remember who um.

37:34

He gave a great example of if

37:36

two people are two pillars, right. He

37:39

was like, if they lean on each other, one's going

37:41

to outweigh and four I was trying to explain equally,

37:44

right, He's like, but Jesus

37:46

standing in the middle for you to to lean on is

37:48

like one cohesive thing, you

37:51

know. And like that I was sixteen and like

37:53

that stuck with me so far, Like you know that. I

37:56

mean, now we're going into relationship with each

37:58

other and God, but I think, um,

38:00

yeah, but I mean it all has to do with the question.

38:02

It's like ultimately, like what I talked about before

38:05

about like the mindset that you have towards marriage

38:07

enables you, whether young or old,

38:10

to lead

38:13

yourself or I have have godly

38:15

do I guess or just like head towards a

38:18

marriage that will be healthy and will be long

38:20

term and stuff like that. Yeah, I think it's

38:23

I think it's just really important for you know, to

38:25

kind of wrap that up. I think that you

38:27

need to have a healthy view on marriage. We do. That's

38:29

reading through books or asking an

38:32

older married couple for advice, you

38:34

know, to just pick their brain and what they've been through.

38:37

I think there's so many different types of resources that

38:39

you can you can look for in that certain topic.

38:42

Um. I think it's it's good for you too, just

38:45

like the Bible says, you know, it says give yourself

38:47

a sober assessment, you know, to to

38:50

to look in the mirror and be like, okay, am

38:52

I emotionally ready? Am I do

38:55

I? You know, because people have to

38:57

just like the same type of um respect

39:00

that we tend to give sex is the same

39:02

respect that we want to give marriage to. You

39:04

know that this is something where I'm tying my

39:07

life, I'm becoming one with somebody else. And

39:09

so I think we're all in

39:11

agreement that like getting married young is great

39:14

if you're ready and you have a healthy view on

39:17

marriage, and if you have people ready to do life with

39:19

you, because I think that's what's so interesting about the

39:21

actual wedding ceremony. You know. What I mean

39:24

is that it used to be done

39:26

in like a public atmosphere, and

39:28

what they would do is is they would ask

39:30

you questions like, Okay, we're all gathered

39:32

here today to witness, Okay,

39:35

to be a part of something. We're here to witness

39:38

these two in holy matrimony become

39:40

one. Okay, And then it even says,

39:42

you know, um, does anyone disagree

39:45

with what's happening? They don't ask that anymore, you

39:48

know, but that used to be a thing where if

39:50

you don't think it was healthy, the community which

39:52

would speak out. And also they

39:55

even ask at the end of the ceremony, they

39:57

say, do you do you now

40:00

witness them becoming one? And do you

40:02

elect to say yes, I'm going to be a part

40:04

of their marriage to make sure they stay on the right

40:06

track. Marriage used to be a communal

40:08

thing. Now it's becoming less and

40:10

less of that. But kind of like the community that

40:12

Gabe grew up in being around it that

40:15

that kind of um, what do you even call

40:17

that? A squad? I don't know, squad

40:20

I don't know, A flock a

40:22

gang, I don't know, but like that used

40:25

to be the way people did it. And so in marriage

40:27

wasn't just this whole thing where just two people decide one

40:29

day, oh let's go do this, and then like everybody else

40:31

doesn't really have an opinion. It should be a

40:34

communal effort from your families, from

40:36

your your pastors, you're the people you look up

40:38

to and everything like that. So whither

40:40

you're young or you're my age, definitely

40:43

just have a healthy view on on marriage.

40:46

But you know, that's just my opinion. But

40:49

going back to like my experience,

40:52

my opinion, I'm going to tell you my opinion before we fully

40:54

wrap up here. Um, going back

40:56

to like what you're saying with like my squad

40:58

back in Florida, Like for

41:01

all of them, it is that

41:03

community thing. And it's not just like

41:05

if one of the marriages in that community falls

41:07

apart, it's just that's the issue. It's

41:10

going to affect so many other people. Yeah,

41:13

there was more accountability than most really,

41:15

Yeah, so much more like it could tear apart the friend

41:18

group. It can. It could cause

41:20

so many problems within the community

41:22

that is so strong, you know, so you

41:25

have this accountability from every angle,

41:27

like you have it from God, you have it from

41:29

the other person, from your family,

41:31

from your community. And then once you have kids,

41:34

you have your kids to like you

41:36

know that you want to give them a

41:38

supportive household with your parents and

41:40

stuff, because it's just it's

41:43

important and you want to show them what a healthy marriage

41:45

looks. Yes, yes, exactly the example of

41:47

it. But you know that's just our opinion.

41:51

We're ridiculous. Oh my gosh. Should

41:53

we let us know? Guys? Should we on the podcast like

41:56

that? It's pretty funny. I mean, if

41:58

you had a funny way, we'll take it. Yeah, us and

42:00

give us suggestions prompt us on on ways

42:02

to conclude our thoughts. If

42:04

if, if, if you want to you know, yo,

42:07

what's up? Guys? Thank you so much for watching this episode

42:10

of prompt Us. Make sure to go to prompt us podcast

42:12

dot com sument your own prompts and we will

42:14

see you in the next one. Prompt

42:17

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42:19

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