0:00

You know how you win the battle? Listen now.

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You and I have the opportunity to walk in victory, to claim the victory,

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to experience the victory that is already ours.

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Because I know I have something to offer.

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Go where you have never gone before.

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Keep moving through the pain. Keep moving forward.

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Music.

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We have the victory. Hey, Purpose Chasers. Welcome to another episode of the

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Pray, Play, and Slay podcast. And I'm so excited because we have another special guest in the guest chair.

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And this guest is no stranger to the show. She has been on the show before,

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and I'm so excited to have her here for this Conversations on Motherhood and Faith.

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So without further ado, Sharan Daniels is the wife of almost eight years to

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her phenomenal hubby and bestie, Khalid Daniels.

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Sharan is a new mom to a jubilant, amazing baby boy and an entrepreneur with

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a background education in culinary arts, art and design,

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digital marketing, and organic cosmetic formulation.

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She is currently a private corporate chef, and her company has catered for many

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weddings and art gallery events.

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Do what you've never done before so you can be the woman you know yourself to

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be. I live my life playing to win. I'm after something.

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So much in you. I'll keep on playing.

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Sharan co-owns a botanical beauty company with her sister, Charmeree,

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and they have partner stores located at hotels, spas, and malls across the island of Portuda.

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She has her hands in many ventures and knows God has always called her to do many things in His name.

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Sharan is an active member in her local church, where she is one of the worship leaders.

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Sharan has been featured on the Pray, Plan, Slay podcast, Shout Out Atlanta,

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and Voyage ATL, discussing being a radical believer and how to be a radical believer.

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In work-life balance in every area of life.

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Now that Sharan and her husband have her son, this disciple of balance has never

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been more important to her as someone who wears many hats.

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Throughout her life, she strives to help other busy moms create balance while

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living in their God-given purpose.

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Let's welcome Sharan back to the show. Sharan, welcome back to the podcast.

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Thank you so much, Shante. I'm so excited to be talking with you again.

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It's been a while and a lot. I completely agree. It has been a while and boy, how things have changed.

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We are both mothers now. I can't even remember if you were married yet when

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the last time you were on the podcast, you might have been or recently married.

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I think recently married. Correct. It's been some sometimes.

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So I'm super excited to get into this topic.

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But for anyone who hasn't listened to the previous episode we had with Sharan,

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I want to say it might have been all the way back in 2019.

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I will link the episode in the show notes so you can get have a listen.

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But Sharan, before we go ahead, can you tell us a fun fact about you that is not in your bio?

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That's not a point okay i may have said it before but if i didn't i'm a bit of a.

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Both a girly girl but also a bit of a want to get my hands dirty like i love

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this first of all i love the thought of gardening but i'm not i cannot grow

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a vegetable to save my life i would love to too. I want to grow my own food, but I do.

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I love DIYs. I love to try to figure out how to do stuff.

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I love to say, okay, I want to maybe build a piece of furniture and try to figure

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out all of my, and my husband's always like, you know, you can call me,

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you know, I'll be, you know, help you out. But I'm just like, no, I want to figure it out. I want to, I want to get a little, get into it.

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And so I am, but I'm all the way a girly girl. I love the heels, love the makeup.

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I am And there, when you say, let's have a girly day, like, that is just me.

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So I am two ends of the spectrum.

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Like, I'm with the boys. I can get down to DIY, but I could also dress up and

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go out to a nice girly day.

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I really love that. In my head, I would like to DIY things.

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So I love the idea of gardening. My mother-in-law is a gardener.

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She planted our garden at our new home, and she had one rule. Don't let the stuff die.

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There has been some things that have gone on to a higher place and some things are still alive.

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But that is not my calling. But I remember talking to one of my friends.

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I was like, oh, I saw this on TikTok. I really want to do it. Blah, blah, blah.

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And she just looked me dead in the face and said, just buy it.

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Not to minister. Just go ahead and buy it. And I was like, ouch.

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She's like, it's not for you. Just go ahead and buy it.

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I was like, I'm sure I can do it. She's like, no, pass it yourself.

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I'll just give it and buy it. And I have agreed that my cousin, who is amazing.

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Shout out to Alondra. You're amazing at gardening. And I told her I will buy

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the seeds. I will buy the plants. And I will come over to your house. And that will be my garden.

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But she is fully going to take over that ministry for me. Because I love vegetables.

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She will take over. Because her garden is beautiful. And let me tell you,

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it was Akilah who told me that I was going to for my DIY. Her sister.

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She was like, hey, no. just know

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i'm like there's really you can teach me what

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to do ain't the love but it's friends i

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love it oh my

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goodness okay so let's get into the conversation that

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we are here for today so as we

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heard from your bio you are a new

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mom to baby boy josiah is

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who is what one he bent

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one and they make me relive it but yeah he bent

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one I cannot believe it he just came out of my belly like

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yesterday but he is one he's talking

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he's running around he's trying to be in everything I'm in awe every day about

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how much these babies know and know what to do how much they watch you it yeah

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it's amazing absolutely amazing it is definitely absolutely amazing and And

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the way the time just flies, I mean, our little one is 10 months.

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And the fact that she'll be one in a couple of months is crazy to me.

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It's absolutely crazy. And just how smart you are innately.

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Just how, you know, when the scripture said he formed you to get her in your

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mother's womb, the personality that she's already like exemplifying at 10 months,

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I'm like, that is obviously the Lord. He put this little personality I said I don't know what your purpose is yet

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I don't know what you're supposed to do but let me tell you something because

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when she is ready and she starts talking and she goes into different levels

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I said okay little preacher. Because I mean okay little preacher I hear you because she's not a quiet baby

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she's not a shabby baby but when you're not listening to her she'll start with

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the and then she's like okay.

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Okay, all right. So I want to start with a conversation about the fourth trimester.

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So I think the fourth trimester is not really talked about that much.

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But for anybody who doesn't know, I know you probably have heard about three

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trimesters during your pregnancy, but the fourth trimester is the trimester

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immediately after you've given birth.

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So they count it as like the next three months after you give birth,

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when you have a newborn, when life really hits you in the face,

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when you're waking up every two hours, you're running on a little bit of sleep,

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you're kind of winking at your partner, but sort of looking at them sideways at the same time.

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So let's start by talking about that.

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So what was your personal experience navigating the fourth trimesters and any

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challenges you faced during that time and how, you know, your faith was able to help you get through?

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The Bathwood Child Master was, it was one of the best eye-opening experiences.

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But it was a huge challenge.

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So my husband, he was a trooper. He was amazing with reading what I needed and

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reading what I was telling him as well.

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Because one thing about motherhood, it's almost like something,

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well, I'll say for me personally, Something kicked in where I was really,

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really in tune with what my son needed.

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And I was also very much praying a lot about what...

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What who I could be for my son because I was terrified I

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was terrified this hospital center you heard this child they

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give you the book you read up all these things but now you're

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actually in the fullness of it you're a mother and you're you have your husband

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your father the husband's father so well in the middle of the night so my son

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was not breast he didn't take to my breast immediately so I was upset about

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that because my breast milk did not come in on on time and you You know,

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I had the conversation with other people. They were like, be prepared.

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Not everything works out the way you expect it to. That was the first thing

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that dropped on. The control. You have no control over things. So my breast milk didn't come in on time.

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And so I'm feeding him this formula. And like you said, getting no sleep.

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So I'm basically just laying next to his crib every night.

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Just almost, for some reason, the sperm came over. I'm just like,

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I have to make sure my baby's okay. I have to make sure he's breathing. And like, Khalid, some nights,

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I would scare him because I would just shoot up out of nowhere and be like, what's up, baby?

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What's up, baby? Or a neighbor's dog would be barking and it sounded like a baby coughing.

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I would, ah, voice checking on him. So, I did, he slept so peacefully, it scared me.

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So, sometimes I would just make sure he was awake constantly.

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And then, when he did wake up, I was already awake. So, there was absolutely

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no sleep happening for me.

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But when the time came

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that Khalid had to go back to work

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that was when things really switched because I had

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six months old but he only had two weeks and so that was for our journey that

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was different for me because that's when my community really had to jump in

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and man did they show up like it was it was really good I had people coming

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to me on the lunch break making sure that I was

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able to get a shower it was just this small thing

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and then I had to because I I

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didn't want any screen time for my child you know so I had

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to entertain him constantly like brushing

11:25

my teeth okay we're brushing our teeth together getting a

11:29

shower I don't think that the second I

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had two strollers I had a I had a car seat in the car

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and then I had a stroller that the dinner we all know

11:37

about the dinner god damn so i had the dinner in the house most

11:40

of the time and i would throw him in the bathroom had the

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shower open and be like i'm still here

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you know while i'm getting my shower so he's not

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crying all this little hacks that you do he didn't like when i ate so when ever

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i tried to get some food in that's when he wanted to eat my food so i would

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try to do little things when he was sleeping to try and get a little meal and

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people came and cooked for me so all i had to just I just popped things in the

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microwave and then nourished. I had meals in my freezer that I could pop in the microwave,

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cut down when he slapped so I could eat.

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So it was just, it was a lot during that first month.

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I would say it was a lot, but the support that I got, it helped balance all this.

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Because Khalid, he came in every single day on his lunch break so I could go

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to sleep. He fed the baby. He did everything he could in that time. And then he went back to work.

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It was difficult, but having the support meant everything.

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I completely agree. Your village is what is so important.

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And it's so good when you have other people of faith around you too.

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Because they're also in tune with the Holy Spirit and what you may need,

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even when you're not saying what you need. I had a similar experience as well. I was off for seven months,

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but during the first month, my husband had to go back after two weeks.

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And that was absolutely crazy for me because I had, you know,

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I ended up having a C-section after laboring for 12 hours.

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So the fact that he had to go back to work and I could barely stand up straight.

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But I had my mom and my mother-in-law and my husband's aunt come and they would come for a few hours.

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And like you said, you know, even though you think people tell you sleep,

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then the baby sleeps and you're like, how?

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First of all, I got things to do. Secondly, I got to make sure you're breathing. So every two seconds is making sure you're breathing.

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And, you know, our little one refused the bassinet.

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Refused? The bassinet. So she would only sleep on me.

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Right so in the beginning it was

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just it was and you know your milk's not

13:57

coming in when you think it's coming in so I was having a little

13:59

breakdown about that because she spent a week on formula and

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everybody I had to keep telling myself and keep reminding myself that

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you know God is in the moment God is here

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even if she's getting formula she's okay a

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happy baby is a fed baby and she's still

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being fed but it was really hard because I

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was like I'm your body's supposed supposed to be making milk why isn't

14:21

it supposed to be making milk i remember the day it took exactly a

14:24

week before my milk came in i remember

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i would pump every day and literally because the lactation consultant was just

14:31

like just keep pumping nothing was coming out so just pump pump pump nothing

14:36

like you know i'm i'm getting really upset and i remember you know once i came

14:42

out of the shower and my husband was like you're leaking i was like leaking what and i was like.

14:48

And I was like, you know, you're so happy because I remember the night before,

14:53

I really prayed. Like, I prayed hard.

14:56

I was like, Lord, you've said this, this, this. You created this body.

15:00

There should be milk. I should be able to nourish my child.

15:02

And I was super happy that my milk came in. But then you face other challenges

15:07

in that trimester. She wasn't latching.

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Like, it was so painful because she wasn't, I wasn't getting it.

15:14

She wasn't quite getting it. And what I had to remember and people had to remind

15:20

me and the lactation council had to remind me is that as much as you're learning

15:24

how to breastfeed, she's learning how to breastfeed, right?

15:27

So there's a period of grace that you have to give yourself and your child.

15:31

And I'm so happy that we're 10 months long and I'm still breastfeeding and it's gotten a lot easier.

15:37

I'm really, I'm like really happy about that. She's got teeth now.

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That's a whole different story. Oh, different story. Oh, different story. Don't worry. Peace.

15:47

But in the beginning, just I remember one night I came out of my room and my

15:52

husband had started going back to work.

15:54

So what I did was I thought, you know, it's best he sleep because he had to go to work.

16:00

So I'm going to do the night shift with the baby. And as soon as seven o'clock

16:04

came, I was like, yo, baby, I need an hour to take a shower.

16:09

This is yours. You left it. Here you go.

16:12

Every morning at seven o'clock. But I remember one night I was just crying. She wouldn't latch.

16:18

And this is in the beginning. And it was painful and it was hurting.

16:22

And I was like, just in like she was crying and I was crying.

16:25

And I feel like those moments where it's just you, it's just you and your child. You're feeling upset.

16:34

God's there. You're crying. But we don't talk about that.

16:36

We don't normalize that. And I feel like if more moms had these conversations,

16:41

making it more public, then when you start going through this yourself,

16:46

you can feel like, hey, wait a minute, I'm not the only one. This is normal.

16:51

To not be happy every moment of every day is also normal because your body's

16:58

going through so much. Your hormones are going through so much.

17:00

If you had a C-section, you're healing from, you know, a traumatic surgery.

17:06

If you had a vaginal birth, you're healing from a trauma.

17:09

Not that the birth itself had to be traumatic, but your body doing all those things.

17:14

So I think grace, patience, and love is so important in the fourth trimester.

17:23

Yeah. No, you're so right. Right. Girl, I almost forgot how much healing I had

17:29

to go through during that time.

17:32

People explained to me with the vaginal birth, people explained to me that it

17:36

was going to be a bit of a mess, but I did not realize how much pain.

17:42

So I was numb, giving birth to him. I got the epidural because I wouldn't have made it.

17:49

I wouldn't have made it through without that epidural. Thank you, Jesus. But afterwards,

17:53

yeah, it was very, very painful having to get up for that first three weeks,

18:01

having to get up because I bled for maybe four weeks, right?

18:05

And so having to get up and deal with him every day, it was very much crazy.

18:11

And man, I was, what you were talking about, that milk coming in,

18:15

it took me two weeks before my milk came in. I was pumping as well,

18:19

pumping as well. And she wouldn't latch either.

18:21

And so I totally understand.

18:25

And at one point I gave up on the latching. And then one day my pump broke.

18:30

And man, I was like, I cannot go through engorgement again.

18:35

I was trying to call my nurse. I was trying to call everybody.

18:39

I was just like, I didn't know if it was mastasis. Mastitis.

18:44

Mastitis. I wasn't sure which one it was because I was freaking out.

18:48

And so I had called everybody I could. I called my gynecologist.

18:51

I called everyone to try and figure it out.

18:55

And I got close with one of the receptionists at my OBG office.

19:02

And so she had told me, listen, go get some pack. Go get a hot shower while you wait.

19:08

And help me, help coach me massage

19:10

it out. And so my husband got all this stuff while I got the shower.

19:14

Massage it out. And I was praying. I was like, Lord, I do not want to have my son on formula. I don't.

19:22

Please let him latch. Lord, please just do what you have to do to keep my milk going.

19:27

Because it would have taken forever. I didn't want to go and buy another.

19:31

I was going to get another pump, but I needed time. And so before I knew it, I saw him starting to reach towards me.

19:39

And I was like, okay, okay, baby, we're going to do this together. And so I tell you, it was.

19:45

Like little miracles, right? Little, little things. Ethan started talking.

19:49

He laughed right on. From that day on, he'd been breastfeeding ever since.

19:52

And I still had my, I got my pump. But from that day forward,

19:56

I was breastfeeding ever since.

19:58

And I was just like, when you pray to God, it feels like small little prayers, but it's not.

20:06

He cares about every detail, every single detail that you care about, he cares about.

20:10

And from that day, it honestly, it blasted my faith. I was just like,

20:14

well, there's about every single aspect of my life. And so, yeah, it was a journey.

20:19

I come and I completely agree. And one of the things I knew talking with the rest of my mom friends,

20:25

one of the things that they like we all agree on is during pregnancy and after

20:30

birth, our relationship with God, because we're getting especially as new mothers.

20:36

This is our first time doing it. We're giving to God for everything. Like, please, Lord, please.

20:41

Like, I need help in this area. I need help in that area.

20:45

Even when, you know, tensions ride high, like, as you were saying,

20:49

so you had a vaginal barf, I had a C-section, I didn't think I was going to

20:53

be bleeding afterwards for a long period of time because I had a C-section.

20:56

And I was like, am I still bleeding? Like, it's been weeks. Yikes.

21:00

So, you know, fully understanding that I've got like a placenta sized wound inside of me.

21:06

And just, you know, understanding that your body is going to take time to heal

21:11

and having grace with your body.

21:13

Because I think the changes to my body, although I expected there to be changes

21:19

to my body, I didn't expect there to be those types of changes to my body.

21:23

Like i was like okay well this is gonna come you

21:26

know i'm i've got stretch marks now and i'm fine with the

21:29

stretch marks because i had stretch marks since i was a child

21:32

so i was fine with the stretch marks a different type of stretch marks but i

21:35

was fine with it but just the shape of my body the shape of my belly coming

21:41

to and i still have to work on it coming to an understanding of okay your body

21:46

is still beautiful you just birthed a child and trying to not get in with

21:52

society and what society says, I should have this snapback mentality,

21:57

which was just not it for me. I still got weight to lose.

22:01

And it's been some time. And I think as women, we tend to be really rough on

22:06

ourselves with how we look after we have literally performed this miracle.

22:12

Yeah, I gave away my heel wardrobe.

22:16

And I don't know about any other woman, but that's a pretty traumatic experience,

22:20

giving away all of your clothes, knowing that you'll never be that person.

22:24

I won't say you will never be that person anymore, but now you have to discover a new person.

22:29

And I, yeah, I had that moment and I was just like, you know what,

22:35

I am going to love this new woman that I am because,

22:40

and I know it will probably resonate with you, just the amount of mindset shifts.

22:46

You have to continually shift as a new mom, because the best piece of advice

22:50

that I had gotten was from a good friend.

22:53

And she told me, motherhood is getting over yourself.

22:57

Yourself motherhood is constantly getting over yourself i was just like you

23:03

know you're right because i thought that maternity leave was gonna be different

23:07

i thought that can't kill, got six one i'm like it's like this is gonna be great like by by the third month

23:16

you'll probably be on this routine and so i'll be able to put him down and then

23:21

i'll have this time do that I'm just going to have that bathtub.

23:24

Girl, but how did he leave? Girl, all about the baby.

23:31

I, I, I mean, and this is transitioning into my next question about our sense

23:37

of identity and it changing and navigating through the process as we adjust to motherhood.

23:42

But even in maternity leave, when I tell you, I planned this cute little maternity, it was cute.

23:50

Okay, I was going to do this on Wednesday, I was going to play group on this,

23:55

that I'm going to do this and that and the other.

23:57

Have I done I'm back at work I have yet my crowd

24:00

has yet to see a play group because you had

24:03

to I mean I you had to do what was

24:07

you know what you you were working with and

24:10

I remember planning to do all these things because I had

24:13

a birth plan I don't know if you did like a birth plan I had

24:16

a birth plan and nothing went to plan nothing went

24:20

to plan I was induced I was not supposed to I

24:23

was was like I'm laboring at home I'm no epidural I

24:26

had to get the epidural because I was induced and the pitocin was

24:29

the epidural didn't work so that was a whole lead of pain I didn't realize that

24:34

after I had a c-section I wouldn't be able to drive for six weeks even and even

24:39

just driving in the car was like pain for me so where I thought oh I'm gonna

24:44

get out and walk I'm gonna go and you you know, do this and that.

24:49

I couldn't do it. And I find that even as she grows and gets older, it's a new child, right?

24:56

You're adjusting to this new child. You're adjusting to a new schedule.

25:00

So just when you think you got your hands on, oh, this is, it changes again.

25:05

I went transitioned from, you know, being on maternity leave,

25:09

which I loved because I mean, I did have seven months.

25:12

And one thing that we weren't planning for that we did do was a lot of travel,

25:15

which I was like, Like, this is great. But coming back and adjusting to I'm working from home now because I worked

25:21

from home for two months. That was so tough. My daughter was looking at me like, what is this?

25:26

Like, we play. What are you doing?

25:29

Like, I thought and I thought it's going to be fine. I'm going to work when

25:33

she naps. But some kids nap.

25:36

Right. And then when she she got to a point where if she sleep next to me because

25:42

we had to end up we're co-sleeping. And so she's sleeping next to me and I get out of the bed.

25:48

Mm-hmm that's it she's awake even if it just goes to bathroom well i'm like i'm right here,

25:56

i'm right here so i you know had a

25:58

schedule you know i'm working from him and finally around

26:02

the last maybe two weeks i got

26:04

a given it's during her first nap

26:08

i'm gonna wake her up at six by seven she's tired

26:11

i can work out then then i'll do some work

26:13

then i'll work with her i got it and then

26:16

i'm in this and it went on yeah it went

26:19

out the door it went out the door and just

26:22

constantly you know adjusting to the

26:26

fact that your plan is not

26:29

it anymore like i and i think that's such a big adjustment and we know that

26:35

as children and women you know children of god that his plan is better than

26:40

our plan but adjusting to the fact that we're yes we're doing his plan but also

26:45

we got this baby's plan as well and at the end of the day none of it is your plan.

26:49

None of it is your plan and i having to

26:52

give myself again keyword grace through

26:55

this season like this week i was set to

26:59

do my podcast episode on tuesday evening i

27:02

knew what i was talking about i was in my birth story my child

27:05

wasn't feeling well yeah yeah she couldn't get to sleep till

27:08

midnight the night before she went to sleep at eight eight and

27:11

i was like yes lord i got time and tomorrow she'll go

27:14

to sleep at eight she didn't get to sleep after midnight i was

27:17

like well who's doing the podcast now because i gotta get up and go to work

27:19

so it's giving myself grace and allowing myself to know that not everything

27:24

is gonna be perfect yet it's still okay and i think what really rings true is

27:30

something that giselle said in the last episode of the podcast Cass is that,

27:36

you know, everything is not going to go right at the same time.

27:41

So today I might be a really great mom, but.

27:46

I might be I also might have gotten my daughter to school late or I might be

27:50

really, you know, good at work and hitting all the girls at work.

27:54

But I forgot to do like, you know, I didn't get to make my child breakfast and

27:58

she's eating a pulch in the car and we're calling it breakfast.

28:01

So just giving ourselves grace and adjusting and even just adjusting to who we are.

28:07

Like you said, you gave away all your clothes. Traumatic.

28:12

Traumatic. And I might tell you the vacuum seal bags are because,

28:15

you know, in my I'm saying one day, but also I'm also not shaped like that.

28:19

And I mean, I've had an experience where, you know, going I gave away a lot

28:25

of my maternity clothes because I'm not pregnant anymore.

28:29

Yeah. Then going to find clothes and realizing that the clothes don't fit me the same way.

28:35

I mean, we were in I was in New York with my husband and I was tired.

28:38

Every store I went into, nothing fit me, nothing fit me, nothing fit me.

28:42

And i went into the last store and i left and

28:44

but just i was crying and i was like we need to

28:47

go because i don't want to cry in this people's store

28:50

he was like oh no talk to me i'm like outside we

28:54

need to know i need to cry in the street we're not what he

28:57

knows i don't want to cry in these people's store

28:59

just because you know just adjusting to

29:04

your new identity of who

29:06

you are as a mom and you know just

29:10

it's a lot yeah there are

29:13

layers that's what we that's

29:16

what we didn't know when we came into my book the all of the

29:20

layers you know that when you got pregnant you know

29:22

you gotta take the baby has to come up you know these you know

29:25

you may not be feeling 100% you know your body's

29:28

changing but the mental layers you

29:31

know the emotional layers who I am my body's

29:35

changing i still have hormones because i'm breastfeeding you

29:38

know it's all the delay is constantly and then it's

29:42

it's the spiritual warfare because now you're you

29:45

got to care for this child you have to care for yourself how do i now keep caring

29:49

for myself and caring for the child care for my husband because now what what

29:52

multiple things we're a wife still wife you know now our mother and and we we

29:59

have our own responsibilities as well outside of this fear so.

30:05

All the delays is what we now have to juggle.

30:10

And so it's so interesting hearing everything that you're saying,

30:15

because sometimes you forget that there's other people out there.

30:18

Sometimes you forget that you're not in it alone.

30:23

But because it's a whole new season.

30:26

And I know for me personally, I was very quiet during between pregnancy pregnancy

30:32

and having Josiah, I ghosted everything.

30:37

I was not present in anything because I'm like, you know what?

30:40

I need time to figure this out. I'm not about to give anybody a bite.

30:45

I'm not about to explain anything, but I'm just trying to make sure that this child is okay.

30:51

No traumatic experiences are going to, because then, and I know for me personally,

30:56

I was just like, you know, This world is just, it's so crazy, you know?

31:02

Evil is increasing in this world, God told us.

31:06

And so we're just constantly trying to not only work for ourselves,

31:11

but then work for our family. I became very spiritually aware even more once I had my son,

31:16

because I'm just like, I am praying over this man child, you know?

31:20

I'm going to make sure that my family is covered because of the amount of things

31:25

that I knew was trying to attack this family, trying to attack marriages and

31:28

trying to attack our children. And so I grew it up. I was like, you know what?

31:33

One thing, I'm not going to allow the enemy to think that just because I'm tired,

31:36

I'm not going to be covering my children, my child.

31:39

And they covered my child. In Jesus name, the better people.

31:44

You know, I'm just trying to get to this one, Lord.

31:48

But yeah, but you know, it's one thing that I did here because,

31:53

you know, we all joined the groups. We joined all the mom groups.

31:56

We downloaded all the mom podcasts.

31:59

We did it all. And a lot of what I heard was also, I think it was Jackie Hill

32:06

Perry that had said this. She was talking about when you become a mom, you also feel like you don't have time for anything.

32:12

You know, I don't have time to pray anymore. I don't have time to read my Bible anymore. I'm so tired.

32:16

And one thing that she did say was, you can pray while you're feeding the baby.

32:23

You can pray while you are giving the baby a bath.

32:26

You know, there are little pockets and little moments that you can rejoice,

32:30

give God glory, and pray for you, pray for your family.

32:33

And once I heard that, I was like, you know what? That's a challenge.

32:36

That's a challenge accepted for me. because I know that the enemy's not giving

32:42

me a break just because I just had a bit, you know?

32:47

And I've seen more and more, even before him, before I stepped into this mindset,

32:52

how the enemy was trying to attack me, how he was trying to get me in my everyday because I was tired.

32:58

And so now I've had to step into a new arena as a mom and as a wife and as doing all the other things.

33:07

But one thing that I put as my priority at this point is that my family is my

33:12

ministry and I'm going to stop right there. That is really, really good. And I think the spiritual awareness and the covering

33:21

our children are so important.

33:23

I was like you after I found out I was pregnant.

33:28

I didn't want to be. I was so aware of my surroundings, who was with me,

33:33

who touched me, covering myself, covering the baby in my belly.

33:37

I was not on social media like I from the

33:40

time I found out I got pregnant until maybe the

33:43

time I said hey I'm pregnant and that was like just because

33:47

I was having a baby shower and I knew people

33:50

was gonna post something and even now I'm so

33:53

careful with not sharing my child

33:56

with the world because the world is such

33:59

a cruel place right so I always say

34:02

you know you might see the back of my child's hand a hand or something but you're

34:06

not seeing her face all the all the time because I don't like and this is me

34:11

personally and this is not a push on any other mom definitely do whatever you're

34:16

comfortable with but I don't like the fact that I know so much about other people's children.

34:21

And it may be the nature of the work that I do. And because I specifically work

34:25

with and do deal with cases as

34:28

a lawyer where children have been abused sexually or abused any other way,

34:34

that's my specialty amongst a few other things.

34:38

So I'm so cautious of what my child is being introduced to because you never

34:43

know what somebody and the word curses people are speaking over your children.

34:47

So I feel like why am I going to give you

34:50

the opportunity to see my child on

34:53

a day-to-day basis the fact that I am in a restaurant on front street I remember

34:58

being in front street I saw this child come down the steps I knew this child's

35:02

name I knew she wasn't with her parents you know and I never met this child

35:06

ever I said oh look I said to myself oh my husband oh look I saw such and such lunch,

35:13

I saw it by her name out with somebody.

35:16

The fact that I knew that, because it's how easily can a stranger come up to

35:20

your child and say, hey, Joe, and you're like, I know your parents.

35:27

I saw that your dad gave you six salmon. I was talking to your dad.

35:30

He gave you smoked salmon for lunch yesterday. I know that. And your child, innocent as they are, is going to say,

35:37

oh, they know all these things about me. They must know my parents, right?

35:40

And that's just not the case. I I just feel like as just as the world has evolved, we share too much.

35:46

And I want to be very careful in protecting my child, not saying as as time

35:51

goes on, my opinion on this will will not change.

35:54

But right now, my child and her little private community is what gets to see it.

35:59

And I also feel like and this might just be me, but I feel like it is such a

36:04

privilege to know my child, not because it's not because it's my child,

36:08

but the person God has created in her,

36:11

it is a privilege to get to know my child.

36:15

So I should not take it, you know, carefully and just going back on praying

36:21

and covering them. My daughter and I, every night.

36:24

We do prayers after bath time, right? So we do the bath time.

36:28

I've got the anointing oil right there on the dresser.

36:30

We do the anointing. We pray.

36:33

And it's so important to cover. I'll say a quick little story.

36:36

My husband is watching my child, right?

36:39

He's there and she's just started crawling. He's there. He's doing work from

36:42

home. He's watching our child, my child.

36:45

Father's child is watching our child. He's there. He's typing away.

36:49

It's really quiet. I'm at work. He's at home with her. It's really quiet.

36:52

He calls her name. No answer. He gets up, he rushes into the kitchen, dining room, new baby, right?

37:01

He rushes into the bathroom, new baby.

37:03

He looks everywhere, doesn't see the baby, but knows the doors aren't open and

37:07

she's not big enough to open the door, so she must be somewhere.

37:11

She's climbed two flights of steps, on her end. And this is what I talk about

37:15

the covering of God, right? Because at any point, and she was on the way to her bedroom,

37:20

she knew what she was getting, she knew what she was doing, but at any point

37:23

she could have fallen at any point she could have tumbled down the steps

37:28

but god was so great that he protected her when

37:31

i came home i i went and i put her in front of the steps and i'm there at the

37:37

laundry because i want to see what she's doing but i don't want to because i

37:40

think one time i went up behind her on the step because she was like trying

37:43

to figure it out i said you're gonna have to learn how to do this properly she

37:46

climbed one step and she sat back. And of course, big enough so she's falling and I have to run and catch her head before it hit.

37:53

But I'm thinking to myself, what if that happened at the top of two flights of staff?

38:00

But God is so great that he answered our prayers.

38:03

Because one of the biggest things I say, you know, when we pray is protect us

38:07

from danger seen and unseen. So God is there watching our children. So it's so important for us not to take this lightly.

38:16

Is a blessing and a privilege but

38:19

also a calling to be a parent right

38:23

you are in charge of a little light

38:26

you are shaping this life and what the enemy would love to do is attack you

38:32

through this innocent soul but when you raise your children knowing and understanding

38:40

the word of god I remember reading one lady,

38:45

a comment that she was making that she instilled in her child, her children,

38:49

spending quality time with God.

38:51

And how she did that as a young age was would say to them, okay, it's your Jesus time.

38:57

She'll put on worship music and said they can do whatever they want to do,

39:01

whether it's color, whether it's praying, but it's your time alone with God.

39:06

So as they got older, they automatically knew that this is my Jesus time,

39:11

right? And I thought that was super beautiful. I can't wait to get to a point where I can implement that with my child.

39:16

But it is just so important that although our identities are changing and although

39:24

there's a lot of sacrifice in motherhood,

39:26

that we should also remember the privilege

39:30

that it is to have these children and

39:34

that god has thought it not robbery to be

39:37

allow us right to be the ones

39:40

to raise these little humans and cover them

39:43

and like you said cover your family because god knows satan hates

39:46

a family unit right absolutely wow no

39:50

i i feel hardly agree yeah that

39:54

was that's been my thought after like we

39:56

said filtering out all of the noise and all of the emotions

39:59

that's definitely lived in my heart is to raise a

40:03

child that's in love with jesus i mean the

40:05

only way that is through the step that we've

40:09

taken from from birth up and raise them up and and so i i am loving that we

40:16

are focused on raising the generation that truly knew and understand the love

40:21

of god and wow that's amazing and know the love of god outside of i just go

40:27

to church because my mom's. Yes. And like I said, such an important generational shift.

40:34

Like a lot of people, even millennials, when they were growing up,

40:39

just went to church because their parents said so.

40:42

So when it was time to actually see if they had a relationship with God on their own, they didn't.

40:48

And rediscovering god

40:50

for the first time you know in your mid-30s late

40:53

40s and then turning that around

40:56

and saying hey i want my kids to actually have

40:59

relationship yeah to have relationship with god because relationship it's what's

41:06

most important and i i'm really thankful for my mom and how she raised me because

41:11

she would tell me like at four my parents would argue and i would I would say to my mom,

41:18

she'll be trying not to, like in the bathroom hiding that she's crying.

41:21

I'd go up there and knock on the door and I said, what's wrong?

41:24

Daddy upset you? And I would say, Satan, you stop it with my daddy right now

41:29

in Jesus name, like at like three and four.

41:33

So I'm happy that that was instilled in me at a young age.

41:36

So when I did things like go off to university, I still had my relationship

41:40

with God. It wasn't the fact that I was just at church because I was being religious.

41:44

It was, I'm at church because I love the connection with God.

41:48

I love being amongst his people. So I think that's so important. And just another aspect to...

41:56

Your personality or your identity, really, as a mother.

42:00

Yeah, absolutely. I love what you said earlier about us really,

42:05

really taking the understanding of shaping these little ones.

42:10

I have learned so much from my son, how much he watches, how much he observes, how much he mimics.

42:17

And I guess just from other people's children or growing up,

42:23

I didn't really realize how absorbing these children are and understanding that

42:29

the atmosphere that we sat in our homes,

42:32

the standard that we sat in our homes means everything to the way these children are raised.

42:36

And so I love that we're having this conversation because I think that it's

42:41

so important that we really understand that these children will know,

42:45

I guess, and the same way these teenagers and everybody else know,

42:50

real Christianity, who the real God is.

42:53

They understand and they know who Jesus is by their parents and by their home,

42:59

the structure of the home. And just like you said, that you cannot bring religion won't do it.

43:05

We build them on a firm foundation. And what we're doing with our children,

43:09

teaching them scripture, teaching them about Jesus' time, teaching them that

43:13

we serve a true and living God and that he can meet you right where you are.

43:17

I think it's the best way. It is definitely the best way. And while we We are developing our children to

43:24

have a relationship with God. We're also developing them and their character.

43:28

And one of the things that I really notice about my child is,

43:32

so every time she sees a mirror, she kisses herself, right? Right.

43:39

I love that for her because that's the self-confidence and the self-love I want

43:44

her to take into adulthood. But also it makes me very wary of how I talk about myself and my body, right?

43:53

Because body confidence starts when they're young.

43:57

So if mom is never okay with herself, is always talking about she needs to be on a diet,

44:03

always pinching her side saying, you know i need to lose

44:06

a little weight and this and that i try my hardest

44:09

not to have those thoughts but if i'm having because you

44:12

know we're human we have this let's not to have that conversation or

44:15

say anything in front of her i also

44:19

want to instill in her that she is fearfully and wonderfully

44:22

made and if she doesn't have the insecurities

44:26

those insecurities never arise

44:29

and there's a lot more she

44:32

doesn't have to deal with that maybe I had to

44:35

deal with because I had those insecurities my

44:38

entire life so I think that's also something that

44:41

we we should be reminded of when we're developing their character in different

44:46

areas that we also remember how we treat ourselves because really like you said

44:53

they watch they are sponges soaking everything up I I have to remind my husband all the time.

44:59

She can hear you because sometimes he says things and I'm like, hey, baby, baby.

45:06

He's like, she can hear you.

45:09

So if you say this and she, you know, children will call you out.

45:14

My daddy said you were an X, Y and Z. And I'm like, you don't want to get in trouble.

45:20

It will call you out. Okay. Hey, Purpose Chasers, this brings part one of this interview to an end.

45:27

Be sure to tune in next week for part two.

45:31

It's been such a great conversation and it gets even better.

45:35

So we'll see you next week for part two of the interview with Sharan.