0:00

Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the No Fucks Given podcast with me, your host Holly Lamb. This week's episode is all about sex and libido. So this is a subject that we aren't always comfortable discussing, but we need to get comfortable because there's a lot of changes that can happen around your libido, around vaginal dryness, around all things that you may not want to discuss. with your partner or a healthcare professional or your friends, but we definitely need to get comfortable discussing this issue so that women like you who maybe are Holly Lamb (01:03.054) experiencing these symptoms get the help that they need. So my early menopause diagnosis brought many challenges, both physical and emotional. But one of the biggest things I've had to deal with was my dwindling libido. The urge just wasn't there. It had all but disappeared into the ether. And it's not much fun, I can tell you. So I'd never experienced anything like that. I mean, a loving relationship, but when you just don't have the desire to sleep with your husband, it's awful. And your partner feels like it's their fault as well, which it clearly isn't. So having those maybe difficult conversations around what's going on with you and why you aren't having sex as much. And you do actually have to have these conversations. Otherwise what happens is nobody speaks about it. It goes on and on and on. And then it comes a really big problem. So my number one piece of advice would be to chat to your partner, explain what's going on in your body, how you're feeling, explain that it's nothing to do with them and have an honest conversation about it. Holly Lamb (02:58.446) So dwindling libido is one thing that we're having to deal with when going into perimenopause, but also not being able to climax is another battle. I cannot tell you there is nothing more frustrating than not having an orgasm. And I'm sure you will agree with that ladies. I'm sure we've all been there at some point in our lives when you know you're just not gonna get there. Time and time again. However, when this is constantly happening, it becomes a real bone of contention. No pun intended. So I did take HRT for around eight months, which did help me manage my symptoms. Holly Lamb (03:44.654) but it didn't make a difference to my libido. There was an improvement in my vaginal dryness, but no improvement in actual willingness and willingness is probably the incorrect word. Holly Lamb (04:02.446) the desire to have sex, it just wasn't there. There was just nothing there. You almost feel numb, which is a horrible, horrible feeling for you. And especially if you're in a relationship, it makes everything just so much more difficult. Holly Lamb (04:22.702) So I've been on HRT, like I said, helped with some of the symptoms. However, for me, I felt numb. I felt disconnected from myself and I absolutely hated that feeling. I felt like I was back on the pill and I wanted to be as far away from that feeling as possible. So I bet you're wondering how on earth I managed to get my libido to return without any kind of medical intervention whatsoever. I didn't go on testosterone, I didn't do anything else. The number one thing that I did was I connected back to me. I did the inner work.