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very organically, Steve, would you like to elevate your

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2:55

We're Sharknado fans, idiot. No,

2:57

he's missing him. Funny story part is dumb.

2:59

He's the auctioneer of comedy. Tim's an idiot.

3:01

I'm late. I listen to the young people.

3:04

This show is just a long car ride.

3:06

It's currency. I've been known to smoke. Live

3:24

on tape. It's the fastest hour

3:26

in podcasting. This is Never Not

3:28

Funny. Now, here's your

3:30

host, Jimmy Pardo. Hello,

3:35

I'm Edidius. Welcome to the program episode

3:37

3406 of the Award-winning podcast, Never Not

3:39

Funny. Welcome

3:42

on in. Welcome on in, my man. To

3:45

another one of these programs. 18 years

3:48

and getting stronger. Getting

3:50

stronger. Getting stronger every day. Chicago. Chicago 6

3:53

written by the great Jimmy Panko along with

3:55

Peter Satero. Look, there's

3:57

enough that I can't turn into a Chicago reference.

4:00

No matter what, say a word. Let me say a word

4:02

Matt. We'll go around the horn. Say a word and I'll

4:04

get to a Chicago song from that. Go. Dingus.

4:07

Dingus. Sounds like Donnie Deakus, guitarist for the

4:09

band for two years. Oh, good job. Elliott,

4:11

name a word. Any word. Understanding. Understanding.

4:13

There must be some misunderstanding. That's a song

4:16

by Genesis, which is a

4:18

very popular band along with the

4:20

band Chicago. Go right ahead. Gary,

4:22

go right ahead. I can do it. Any

4:24

word I can make a Chicago reference out

4:26

of it. Go. Hoagie. Hoagie. Sandwiches, right? Take

4:29

me back to Chicago where they get the

4:31

best goddamn sandwiches. Take

4:33

me back to Chicago with a song by Chicago. Right

4:36

there. Happy to do it. The only one that would stump

4:38

was misunderstanding was understanding because

4:40

Elliott doesn't like fun. He just doesn't

4:42

like fun. He instinctively ruined it.

4:44

Yeah. He just doesn't without even

4:47

having... How is that my fault? How is that my

4:49

fault? It has to be your fault. It can't be

4:51

mine. I'm the host of the show. That's how the

4:53

equation works. It could never... You're the X and you're

4:55

on that side of the equal sign. Yes. It's

4:58

not going to... The Y, which is me, is not

5:00

going to be on that side. Yeah, or the Y

5:02

is why is this analogy still going on. There's a

5:04

lot of Y at play at the moment. I

5:07

learned that from the great Steve

5:09

Dahl. Steve, early in his career,

5:12

could never be wrong. For humor. Right.

5:17

Whereas the boys in this room, where you two can

5:19

never be wrong because of something your father did. I

5:25

don't know. And then, Garen, of course, is excluded

5:27

from this because he's willing to be wrong. Why?

5:30

Because he has to be willing to. Because more

5:32

often than not, he is. Again,

5:34

we started trivia because of him. And

5:37

I think we could easily say in the room, the

5:39

worst of the four of us. I

5:42

feel like I've gotten worse. I

5:45

don't think that's true. I may not be

5:47

worse than Garen, but I think the gap has

5:49

narrowed significantly. I think we've

5:51

learned that I have a very narrow focus of

5:53

trivia. Yeah. But that's okay. Who cares? We

5:56

step outside that focus. My glasses don't

5:58

work. I like

6:01

that very much. That's Gary Kackels with his new

6:03

glasses analogy. Second use of the

6:05

word analogy here on a Monday. Hot

6:07

weekend. Hot weekend for James R. Pardo Jr.

6:09

We had the Never Not Funny Fantasy baseball draft over the

6:12

weekend out in West Los Angeles

6:14

during a rainstorm. Rainstorm

6:17

that the building we were in, it was a great

6:19

building, great location for the draft this year. People

6:22

flew in from all over the country. And

6:24

for those that don't know, if you are a member of

6:26

the Platinum, you get to put

6:28

your name into the mix and there's a

6:31

lottery for the remaining spots that are left.

6:33

I think this year there were seven

6:35

remaining spots, I think. Because

6:38

if you finish in the top third, you

6:40

get to be in the following year. And if

6:42

you win, you're in for life. So

6:46

at some point, it could be the same 12 people. Oh,

6:48

that'd be exciting. Well, that would mean

6:50

this show would be going on for other

6:52

seven years. Oh, yeah. Which I

6:55

know you're out. I know

6:57

you've got your bags packed. Well, you're

6:59

the one closer to retirement age. Yeah, but I'm

7:01

not quitting this. There's no reason to quit

7:03

this. You're quitting this because you've lost

7:05

interest. You

7:07

were to... Well, look, this is speaking out of school. What

7:11

was I saying? Maybe you've even said on

7:13

the air that you were at some point

7:15

just going to pack it up and go.

7:18

But maybe that was just an idle threat. The

7:22

other way I pack this up is if you and Elliot

7:24

get on my fucking nerves. That's the only way. That's the

7:26

truth. I think we all imagined

7:28

you would whittle down to the point that

7:30

it's just you already you have a microphone

7:32

at home and... You're asking the

7:35

same question I ask every day. Why don't you just

7:37

talk and do the microphone by yourself? Why do I split the fucking money?

7:40

Why do I split the air time? Why do I

7:42

split any of this goddamn... Why do I split the

7:44

accolades? Why do I split the air time? When

7:48

I do my Zoom shows and it's just me, it's just

7:50

me talking for an hour, people seem to enjoy those.

7:52

What am I doing here? Yeah. This

7:54

is... You know what? We joke that I'm

7:56

a bad businessman. Worst of all bad business

7:58

maneuvers. Yeah. The worst instinct you ever

8:00

had was to say, I need people to bounce off of. Not

8:03

true. I mean, the audience is all you need.

8:05

That's all I need? Oh my God, Jack Wagner

8:07

said it, all I need? Look, I can make

8:09

anything into a song. Anyway,

8:12

here's the deal. So we

8:14

had seven openings, people flew in, people drove in, some

8:16

folks drove in, not far from Long Beach, others from

8:18

the, a couple folks from the Bay Area, some

8:21

folks, I believe one gentleman came in from the St.

8:24

Louis area. Everybody

8:27

goes around the horn, introduces themselves, I failed to

8:29

say where you're from because I thought, you know,

8:32

it would have been interesting to

8:34

learn, you know, who came to furthest and, you

8:36

know, so we had

8:39

our first lady in the

8:41

draft, a woman named Amanda, she had

8:43

to drag her husband along, though we had to sit through

8:45

Chris' bullshit. He

8:48

sat in on the entire draft? I would say 95%

8:50

of it. And admittedly,

8:52

I don't know if they worked as

8:54

a team or if it was, because

8:56

where they sat was the exact, if

8:59

I'm at seven o'clock on a clock, they were at

9:01

one o'clock. So completely across the

9:04

room. And so I don't know if they

9:06

worked as a team, I don't know if she bounced ideas, but she

9:08

was clearly the brains of the

9:10

operator. It was Amanda's team and

9:12

if Chris helped out, so be it. And

9:15

some other great folks, we had a guy

9:17

named Chris Hight, not sure where he's from,

9:19

not my Bay Area. Justin.

9:23

Did you find out his height? I did

9:25

not, I know he's taller than me, but that was

9:27

true for everybody, including my son. Justin

9:32

Tagahashi. Ahmed.

9:36

And then if I'm doing it right, David

9:39

Goddard, who finished in the top three last

9:41

year, good

9:43

supporter of the program, Paulo Bedencio, who's won last

9:46

year myself, then Oliver, host of the, we'll get

9:48

to that in a moment, directly across

9:50

from me, Steve, who's the commissioner, Steve Johnson, Kevin

9:53

Bellenkopf, who's won twice, and

9:55

then Dwayne Border, who lives about a

9:58

mile from me. Which is... Bizarre

10:00

and I don't like it.

10:02

And then ah, next to

10:04

him was. The.

10:07

Aforementioned Amanda I think I got have received

10:09

as everybody can at every rates. good group

10:11

of people even Oliver. I made a

10:13

comment about how he thought it was a good group

10:15

of folks and that would have seemed to a be

10:17

I do the opposite. Energy, good people and dog. I

10:19

try to talk Oliver out of us. It's son or

10:21

a couple of decades you success or less of a

10:23

dog. but he would have he was he He would

10:25

have know that. I

10:28

have a question going backwards. how many different

10:30

people have wanted or even why? what? Five

10:32

years? We. Have done

10:34

it about know maybe even more than that

10:36

now since before the pandemic, so of us

10:38

this is Twenty Four sucked. So to to

10:40

your point of people playing: Twenty three, Twenty

10:42

Two Twenty One Twenty nineteen. We didn't live

10:45

in nineteen. And I think eighteen

10:47

was the first one smoker so I could be

10:49

the first one. he didn't have a host and

10:51

then I hosted the second one which was and

10:53

twenty nineteen I believe. So and them as was

10:55

nobody for a little bit of an order was

10:57

doing and right Rose, nobody has was on zoom

10:59

friend and dogs. So five people as one. Ah

11:02

so poverty until one cabin bellicose

11:04

one twice I think, some a

11:06

different just in one. And

11:09

I couldn't tell you the other guy years ago maybe

11:11

were nice. Oh. It even

11:13

in the i used to be in it and. Ah,

11:16

So but does British has moved on

11:18

to? Oh Dad knew that that is

11:20

very busy touring every stadium in the

11:22

country. has had a forty nine times

11:24

sandwiches repeats which is what he doesn't

11:26

go for. Him read whatever. I. I

11:29

wish I could just never be wonderful. Ah,

11:31

to drop the rest of us and know

11:33

Dear Sullivan, you can get rent a Winnebago

11:36

and Them story or microphone in the back

11:38

and go Man, I'm glad you put it

11:40

simply isn't here yet again. this Aca, there's

11:42

not. There's nothing I can make Chicago Representatives

11:44

Chicago record their most recent two albums on

11:46

as using but they called the Rig and

11:48

they would dare travel with it and then

11:50

they would in the hotel rooms. before

11:53

and after shows they would record the album

11:55

was using this rig so maybe they recorded

11:57

remotely interesting last two albums so us I

12:01

think they're going to be done recording soon. Somebody's

12:03

going to have to use that rig. Yeah, if

12:05

they're looking to unload that rig, we've

12:07

got a potential buyer here. You

12:09

kidding me? I go stadium to stadium and

12:12

... Or maybe you join up with Moniche. He could

12:15

be your producer. I'm

12:20

trying to whittle the team down.

12:23

I'm just saying, if he's doing what you want to be

12:25

doing, he knows his way around some knobs. Here's

12:28

the thing. I think I could do

12:30

all of it. If it's solo

12:32

with very little editing and production values, I

12:35

think I can handle it. It's

12:37

where we get into these edits.

12:43

Make no mistake. There

12:46

could be a lot more free flowing and a lot

12:48

more ... So there's going to be edits. I

12:51

think the smartest thing to do is

12:53

to tell Oliver, you don't go to college. You're going to

12:55

be the producer of ... Yeah, that we keep in the

12:57

family. Basically, tell him,

13:00

you'll pay him, I don't

13:02

know, $5 a week, let's say, until he earns enough

13:05

to pay his own way to college. He has to work for

13:07

you. Yeah, I think that's fair. What

13:13

were you? You asked how many people won. Yeah. Then,

13:17

anyway, so the building we were in. I

13:22

don't mean to blow up anybody's spot. There was some

13:24

sort of miscommunication amongst

13:27

the people I rented the space from internally as

13:30

far as the underground parking goes. There was supposed

13:32

to be underground parking, which would

13:34

have kept everybody out of the rain because you wouldn't have

13:36

had to walk outside at all. So it

13:38

was pouring rain all day Saturday. Then the

13:40

building is not like a lot

13:42

of buildings here in Los Angeles because it used

13:45

to rain three days a year. You

13:48

kind of walk in through the entrance and then

13:50

it's an open courtyard. So

13:53

you walk in and you think, oh, get them out of the rain. No, I'm

13:55

not. And You

13:57

put your umbrella down and it's... It

14:00

does so that also then for

14:02

whatever reason the water the ground

14:04

was slanted. I want to say

14:06

directly to our door. Acid.

14:09

so it does. The water just kept collecting

14:11

as a puddle outside of our dorms and

14:13

so you had to us. You

14:16

know like a spy go tight against the

14:18

wall says to avoid does but was or

14:20

other. That was a great spot. Very

14:23

clean, very a big enough to support all

14:25

these folks are Last year was all snug

14:27

nice moppet little snug knob. This year was

14:29

great and my son Oliver to eat did

14:32

a great I I. I

14:34

I I may get one more year

14:36

out of him being the auctioneers, but

14:38

I think maybe next year as a

14:40

senior he might tell me to kick

14:43

back and rocks like he should. But

14:45

does he enjoys it? Ah, He

14:47

admits he gets on board towards the end because at

14:49

the end of gonna get jobs. There's. A

14:51

little less. Bidding because

14:53

some people are out of money. And

14:56

then it gets down to dollar players

14:58

and been off as.everybody's.a dollar players. There's

15:00

no bidding is just met says. And

15:02

I'll take autonomy for a dollar which by with

15:04

you for telling Always go Even I noted that

15:06

would be amazing. yeah there was wonder what they

15:08

do it was my player I throughout his name

15:10

way too early or Andrew Volumes the first baseman

15:13

the White Sox and made was though it's accept

15:15

their work. But

15:17

there are three players on the White Sox. Have you potentially

15:19

to eat before actually? Girl crochet. Guy. Andrew

15:21

Bond you are you a him and as and

15:23

or lose rapper there's really only for you want

15:25

and some good are you fully to them you

15:27

might want so I threw out and who have

15:29

one at a dollar. And I said

15:31

dark. Age of

15:33

One for a dollar It it was almost as if

15:36

I wasn't have done with the are and dollar and

15:38

it with the segments was deafening specific on how does

15:40

the when I was ago as road for a dollar

15:42

you could put the you could his bag that Camelot

15:44

versus. At Emory Last.

15:46

Mature enough to is that it because it's

15:49

the who knows. Maybe we'll have a view

15:51

honor. I mean someone's gotta

15:53

be going on the see that's the other side matt

15:55

either. I'm glad you said that. Be the ice in

15:57

the city. Teams have one or two good players is

15:59

is the I got the rest of them are doing

16:01

said that makes them back as a units are not

16:04

a team that will win yes but. To your

16:06

point. That they someone

16:08

they went for This is get the worst.

16:10

Twenty two players road bike always Roberts a

16:12

top five player. He's a man has hims

16:14

I top ten player. he's great again fog

16:17

a healthy he lawyer who minutes is a

16:19

great player farm and into born it it'll

16:21

hit twenty home runs in a good seventy.

16:23

Ah Riise and and you know what for

16:25

a dollar who cares He's is as great

16:28

player hobbies, as good at baseball as the

16:30

that guy from was ago that Matthew Vaughn

16:32

the reactor on alias that wasn't Bradley Cooper

16:34

or the other fellow that day had is.

16:37

I believe also had is heartbroken from a

16:39

Jennifer Garner. I believe both Bradley Cooper and

16:41

That Guy. Had to I say about

16:43

Bomb over there? I'm really I'm one of them to go

16:45

out with the other one and then dumped. The.

16:48

Second one for Ben Affleck. And

16:50

I see that was Bradley Cooper. I'd

16:53

I don't remember a hurt the the

16:55

inner workings of that but I don't

16:57

I'm not surprised that a viewer imagine

16:59

working with Jennifer Garner and your job

17:01

is to pretend you're in love with

17:03

her. It's not that hard to get

17:05

their my voice, pack your bags, assists

17:07

knows it's over a man fit and

17:09

by the bowie bit if you were

17:11

alias Bradley Cooper was not and the

17:13

attractive of know he was like been.

17:16

Hundred nerdy turned out I gonna

17:18

lie, gather. Also. Ran like

17:20

he was. Trying

17:23

to think of who I because the other

17:25

guy again and barely picture and but he

17:27

was be was vaguely similar to the Guy

17:29

and Lost or Matthew Fox. Oh no. A

17:31

more attractive than at you you're more into

17:33

that has dragged of here. Oh let me

17:35

say this. More charismatic than that. Was

17:38

had to respect that was yes that's that's

17:40

a lovely have seen or I am in

17:42

my not going in business Ah but yeah

17:45

that areas there he is. He's

17:47

got a little bit of a little more accurate picture of

17:49

him is it looks more like Glenn Powell site. Yeah.

17:52

it's michael's are ten mike of our

17:54

ten thousand my goal mind is the

17:57

character name ah ok thanks how could

17:59

pull the curtain I wouldn't have been

18:01

able to do that for a million dollars. Oh, you

18:03

looked it up Yeah, but you said it.

18:05

I know yeah, I just why I think I said Matthew It's

18:09

Michael Vaughn Michael Vaughn. Oh, okay. Well,

18:11

that's good. Huh? You go

18:13

you combine the two. Yeah, he's a He

18:16

works ever again Good question. So

18:18

that's our time. What's that breakup? Just good. No, you

18:20

don't want to control He

18:23

hasn't done anything since his last TV series appearance

18:25

was 2018 his last movie was 2017

18:29

Small-town crime. Yeah, great movie is great after

18:32

a million dollars Could say what it is.

18:35

Oh And he

18:38

shamed help Nelms And

18:40

Ian Nelms film. Does that help? Yeah. Thank

18:42

you Gary. Thank you. It's a neo-noir thriller

18:44

for choice That

18:46

was just noises. I didn't you know your was that a person's

18:48

name you were saying. I'm glad you said Yeah,

18:51

come on. You know, I know him. He

18:53

either he manages the guy from the way Some

18:56

Nelms and Ian Nelms Writing

18:59

directing cousins team because it's Anthony

19:03

Anderson Clifton Collins. Oh John Hawks is a

19:05

guy like that guy. Yeah, he's good Why

19:08

did we get on alias Bradley Cooper? We

19:10

were talking about Vaughn

19:12

Oh Matthew Vaughn. That's it. Anyhow I

19:19

Hate I hate to be this positive, but

19:21

I think I have four good fantasy baseball teams

19:23

Wow, I really do and by the way, I

19:25

could be proven wrong in two weeks But

19:28

I drove away going, you know, I made a

19:30

mistake there I could have gone an extra dollar here could have done

19:32

this But you know what I look at that I look at that team

19:34

and I go it's competitive I think it's

19:36

good. I think it's a good squad And well, you've

19:38

gotten me interested in at least one aspect of it

19:40

Which is I need to be on this Andrew Vaughn

19:43

watch for the rest of the season until you drop

19:45

him if you do Oh, you know what here? Update

19:49

on that by the way, so my fantasy

19:51

team my other league I named my team

19:53

my Soraka Because I have

19:55

Mike Soraka on my team and I thought that sounded like

19:57

my shirona and I

19:59

dropped like Thanks for rocking this morning. And

20:03

so I picked the team name that it made Oliver and

20:05

I laugh. We were going, we were, after

20:07

the draft, Danielle had some friends over, so we went

20:09

out and like, the draft ended earlier than we anticipated.

20:11

So Oliver and I went out to get some dinner

20:13

to allow those guys to, you know, do their chirping

20:15

and routine, you know, do over there. And

20:18

they're actually great friends. Both friends

20:21

of the show, Chrissy Stratton and Alex Alexander. And

20:24

you know, the three of them have been friends for 30 plus

20:26

years. And

20:30

so we, something

20:32

I said, I was telling Oliver a story about

20:34

how I put my foot in my

20:37

mouth at Conan one day. I won't go into the details because it

20:39

truly is a not-for-air

20:41

story. But know

20:43

this, I'm the idiot in the story, you know.

20:47

And so Oliver, you've seen Oliver when

20:49

he laughs. He just, it's step jam, like he

20:51

cannot control himself. So he's in the passenger seat

20:53

and he's just, he's banging on the side

20:56

window and he's laughing. But I said, I go,

20:58

yes, you got to understand this. Your father is

21:00

a walking buffoon. And

21:02

he just, that he does another jerk laughing. And

21:05

then he goes, that's your team name. That's your

21:07

team name. And so I changed my Soraka to

21:10

the walking buffoons. And while

21:12

it is not the league

21:14

that Oliver was the auctioneer in, I'm glad to

21:16

have changed. So what's the name of

21:18

your team in the Never Not Fighting? The jerks. That's

21:21

the one after the En homage to the ants. And

21:25

then we've got the mangled meniscus and then, what's the

21:27

name of the other squad? The

21:29

uh-oh, because of Otani. So

21:32

anyway, great day. And thank you to the

21:34

people, to the listeners that participate in

21:36

that. And once I got feet

21:38

earlier so I could have turned heel and not walked in

21:41

on it. You know what I mean? Like- That

21:43

sounds awkward. Yeah, so I think he's great. And then-

21:47

Everyone had to stop talking as soon as you walk in. Yeah, and

21:49

I made a joke out of it. Like, this is ass, why do

21:51

we do this? Why do we kiss his daddy's ass? But

21:55

again, like I talked about with the LPGA thing, and maybe

21:57

I've talked about it in years past with these drafts. I

22:00

walked the line of wanting to, you know,

22:03

I don't want to be obnoxious by

22:06

being funny constantly, which we know I can do

22:08

because that's, you know, it's really all I can

22:10

do. But also,

22:12

like, shut the fuck up. Be a human and

22:14

just interact with them at a human level. And

22:16

then also do the draft. I mean, you know,

22:18

I'm trying to draft a player, could you not

22:20

be doing your clown routine? Right. And

22:23

also, for your own sake, like, focus

22:25

on your team and not on the

22:27

clown routine. Which I actually have to

22:29

say this, I stuck to my, here's why I'm, here's why

22:31

I feel good about my teams this year. In

22:35

the auction drafts, I stuck to my budget, which I

22:37

never do. Usually I, when I panic,

22:39

I see when people are going for more money than I

22:41

want to spend, I go, I got to spend money too.

22:44

And I spend that money. And

22:47

I knew that scream was gonna be a problem. Garan,

22:49

you can't be doing that. I'm trying to hide that

22:51

bar at the top for you guys. Here's

22:55

the thing about the bar at the top. The blue blends

22:57

in and the white doesn't bother me. Now,

22:59

it might bother Matt and it might, and there

23:01

might be something to do off the air, but

23:04

for the love of God, quit fucking with it now. We

23:08

are, seriously, Matt, Matt, worse than

23:10

me in this case, but me, admittedly, two kitty

23:12

cats looking at a laser. You

23:16

literally, by the way, for the homeless,

23:18

but that was, that was Jimmy's reaction

23:20

to that was seven seconds into you

23:22

doing it. That's how extreme it was

23:25

because as soon as you started doing

23:27

it, we were both like, huh? What's that

23:29

going on over there? What's happening now? Yeah.

23:31

So that, that shit can happen. All

23:34

right. We clear on this? But

23:36

now it looks bolder. I

23:38

will say it does look bolder than before. The white is

23:40

bolder now. What did he do? By the way,

23:42

but you fucked it up here on the white is bolder. Right? Oh,

23:44

I did. Was this? Yeah,

23:46

but you did something. That's all I did. I think maybe by

23:49

touching it, you made it brighter and maybe

23:51

it'll go. Use your menu on the, uh, on

23:53

your built-in screen. There it is. Look

23:55

at that totally fine. That's fine. Now

23:58

don't fucking play with it again. I had

24:00

all I can make it disappear and it didn't even work and

24:02

then what happened? Yeah I mean it

24:04

is it is mark your fucking board down zero

24:07

oh Yeah,

24:10

I never told you never Those

24:14

that's gonna be the day and ironically that laziness

24:17

is what keeps that being true Yeah, it's always

24:19

a deer because he's always too lazy Thank

24:25

you for the one piece

24:27

of initiative no Incentive

24:30

no god damn it. They're right help me.

24:32

Please love a god help me. She's

24:34

initiative Initiative

24:37

yeah, okay. I got all my praying out yesterday

24:39

on Easter, so I just I

24:41

didn't want to go to the Lord again for something Hey,

24:44

you know we walked over the weekend by the

24:46

way completely off-topic anyway great great draft Thank you

24:48

to Oliver for running it and nice to meet

24:50

everybody That was that I

24:52

had not met previously and in fact one

24:55

of Amanda and Chris said they will they're gonna be

24:57

a parkastathon No fun, and I think some other folks

24:59

there are gonna be there as well, but I know

25:01

for a fact they mentioned it Which

25:03

again is on May the 25th and

25:05

that flappers if you have your tickets and

25:08

then the streaming worldwide that we think Yes,

25:12

they will be I'm kidding Never

25:15

not funny calm and park else alone calm.

25:17

Yeah, so I'll be on the lookout for

25:19

that park a saffron website Which will be

25:21

a burning soon. Yep great So

25:24

we watched and I based

25:26

this on friend of the show

25:28

Zoe Friedman's Facebook post

25:31

Facebook page post The

25:34

new David tell special Oh hysterical. Oh,

25:36

I didn't know he had one. Oh, yeah, it's great.

25:38

You know he is You

25:41

know he's had a lot of success on television. You know because

25:43

a Comedy Central and stuff But at the

25:45

end of the day he's not like Brian Regan where

25:47

he's only famous for stand-up comedy. Yeah, and He's

25:50

great and I Admittedly

25:53

there are times in my life where I forget

25:55

like when I list the guys that I think

25:57

are phenomenal I forget to list David tell And

26:00

he, the special is

26:02

only 40 minutes long and it's really only 30 minutes long

26:05

and then he tacks on a 10 minute thing. It's not

26:07

tacked out, it's part of his thing. But

26:09

he says

26:13

fuck once in 30 minutes. But

26:16

what I only mentioned, because when you think of

26:18

David Tell, you know, his reputation

26:22

is that he's filthy. And that

26:24

he's edgy. And yes, he's

26:26

got some edgy jokes and stuff, but he doesn't say

26:28

fuck. And somebody might

26:30

walk away from his show going, you know what I like

26:32

about him? He was clean. Even

26:35

though he's talking about butt-fucking and dildos and

26:37

vibrators. But man, is he a good joke

26:39

writer. And

26:42

his delivery is hysterical

26:45

and it's worth watching. It's really

26:47

great. Where do

26:49

you find that, do you remember? It's

26:52

Netflix, yeah, Netflix. And I think

26:54

it's called Hot Cross Buns. And we

26:56

loved it. And Oliver said, let's watch

26:58

some more David Tell specials. And

27:02

I agree with that. We

27:05

should because it was, man, one bit in

27:07

particular. It seems

27:10

like every special we watch, there's what

27:12

John Mulaney or Brian Riggiter, as a

27:14

whole it's great. Nate Barghetti is another

27:16

great example. Elman's gonna go

27:18

with that bit about his dad and

27:20

the girlfriend. Where there's just

27:22

one where we have to pause it. Because we

27:24

just cannot control ourselves from laughing. And David Tell

27:26

has one of those in this. And

27:29

it's a jaded asshole comedian, which I've seen it all.

27:33

That's the, you know, it's

27:35

refreshing to laugh that hard. It's watching

27:39

somebody do the craft. You know,

27:42

I can laugh that hard in conversation. But

27:44

doing what we do here with even

27:47

out and about in the world. But watching someone do,

27:49

you know, on stage. It was a shot of Cobbs, which I

27:52

liked. It was kind of a nice

27:54

size, you know, it's not, you know,

27:56

kind of had the theater vibe, but it still had the club vibe. Yeah,

28:00

I don't know. We've talked about this

28:02

before. I don't know why anyone thinks

28:04

the home viewer will enjoy seeing

28:06

a stand-up comedian perform in a 20,000-seat

28:08

arena. That doesn't add

28:12

anything to the experience. In fact, it takes

28:14

away. Yeah. Especially when you

28:16

come down to like Sebastian and Dane, who their specialists

28:18

were at Madison Square Garden. I

28:20

don't care. In fact, I get lost in it. Yeah,

28:24

I don't begrudge them for playing those venues.

28:26

No. You can tell them

28:29

out, great. Congratulations. But I don't need to

28:31

see that you did that. I'd rather just

28:33

see you work a room that you

28:36

can actually communicate with. Which

28:38

is how we all started.

28:42

There's very few that started in the theaters. Those

28:45

are mostly folks that

28:49

got a claim as an actor

28:51

or something else that then said, I want

28:53

to be a comedian. And then they immediately

28:55

made the jump into theaters, which is insanity.

29:00

But it's good. It's good. Cool. It's

29:03

worth checking out. We

29:06

also saw a movie over the weekend. Yesterday, we went

29:08

to an Easter movie. And I'm going

29:10

to look up the title because it was

29:12

a foreign film. Okay. Because

29:15

on my Lord's Day, I want to see

29:18

something from overseas. You

29:21

didn't see that movie about the

29:23

guy's girlfriend dies, and then he

29:25

finds out that she was

29:28

born from a surrogate pregnancy

29:30

or something. So there was another embryo. And

29:32

then so he dragged down the other girl.

29:34

You know what I'm talking about? What movie

29:36

is this, please? Have you seen that trailer?

29:38

No. It's one of those,

29:40

I think it's maybe a fathom event even.

29:42

It's one of those Christian movies that I'm

29:44

talking about. Yes.

29:47

What is it? Okay. Okay. Yes. And

29:49

it's like he falls in love with

29:51

the unborn. I mean, she was born.

29:53

He's obviously born. It's like, and I

29:55

assume they had the same actress playing

29:58

both parts. It just seems I

30:00

feel like I almost need to see it just to understand

30:02

how wrong is this thing in the

30:05

in an attempt to be spiritual and

30:07

moving. It kind of feels like

30:09

the vibe of it is this guy just fell in

30:12

love with someone who looked like his girlfriend and that's

30:14

like that's the point of it like that's the whole

30:16

bit. But the Lord must intercede at some point right?

30:18

You would think that the Lord would be against that

30:20

but I don't know if they're saying there's I

30:23

assume it all ties back to even an

30:25

embryo has a soul and so you shouldn't

30:27

abort babies right? I feel some

30:29

bullshit like that. But doesn't it also slightly

30:31

imply that twins share a soul? Well

30:35

that's what I that's my that's why I kind

30:37

of I'm curious about it because it feels like

30:40

they went a long way around to try to make

30:42

one point in the process made something super

30:44

inappropriate like it's really like inadvertently creepy

30:47

because I don't you

30:49

can't just be like yeah yeah you look like the

30:51

woman I was in love with so you'll do like

30:53

that. I mean there are shallow and crazy. Isn't there

30:55

a thing in the Bible though where like if your

30:58

wife dies you get to marry her sister or something?

31:00

That's Old Testament stuff I think yeah. Maybe even New

31:02

Testament stuff. It's also old country stuff like you know

31:04

old Italian you know if it if they if

31:07

a husband got killed by the mob it

31:09

was kind of the brothers responsibility to then

31:11

take over the family. Wow. That's

31:14

old Italian stuff so it

31:16

might be other cultures as well and I'm just speaking from

31:18

the Italian side of the earth. I just called someone like

31:20

you. Here's the

31:22

description based on the popular novel by

31:25

number one New York Times wrestling author

31:27

Karen Kingsbury someone like you

31:29

is an achingly beautiful redemptive love story shocking

31:32

news hits after young architect Dawson

31:34

Gage loses his best friend London

31:36

Quinn perfect naming we can

31:38

agree those names are those are author's names

31:40

right yeah written yeah a

31:44

little too much effort put into that yeah

31:46

now in his heartbreak Dawson is compelled to

31:48

launch an impossible search for London's secret twin

31:50

sister twins separated as embryos

31:53

but along the way guess

31:56

what? What happens Karen? Dawson never planned to fall in

31:58

love. Who do you fall in love with? Not as

32:00

sister, I guess, this other woman? No,

32:02

her sister. Her sister. But so the first woman

32:04

was not his wife, it was just a friend

32:06

of his. Yeah. Oh, so, okay.

32:09

That's how they get around the obvious uncomfortable.

32:11

Yeah, okay. I mean, is it that much

32:13

of a get around? Because he was, so

32:16

he wasn't in love with this friend. There's

32:19

got to be a line in this movie where it's like,

32:21

I knew we would be best friends, but I didn't know

32:23

I would fall in love. Like, that's the vibe. Like, he's

32:26

rediscovered his best friend in a new

32:28

person who looks exactly the same, but

32:31

also now there's a romantic element to it. So

32:34

if I'm doing the math on this right, this is

32:36

an argument pro IVF? I

32:40

don't know. See, now I'm not sure if it's a religious

32:42

thing. I think if you're doing the math right, it equates

32:45

to unwatchable. I'm

32:47

with you and I cannot tell if this is a

32:50

YA or if it's

32:52

religious or if it's both. Or

32:54

if it's just like airport paperback

32:56

crappy. I think that might be

32:58

like Hallmarky. Yeah. Yeah.

33:01

Hallmarky. Yes. Well,

33:03

I can tell you, I typed into Google,

33:05

is someone like you and then finished a Christian movie.

33:09

Okay. And? It

33:12

is. It's a tale of romance redemption in

33:14

what is generally called the

33:16

faith-based movie genre. All

33:18

right. So it's the faith-based. The kid

33:20

that fell through the ice, there was that one. Right.

33:24

And it didn't look bad. General Garvin. There

33:26

were no players in that. Yeah. The trailer

33:28

looked good until all of us. And then the Lord

33:30

got involved. I was like, okay. All right. A cross

33:32

reached down through the ice and he grabbed the bottom

33:34

of the crucifix. I

33:37

kind of wonder a little bit about that because like if

33:39

you go to church and the preacher or

33:41

whatever does their sermon, that's kind of entertainment,

33:44

but it's also like religiously

33:46

educational. Like remember this part of the Bible, be this

33:48

kind of a good person or whatever, right? If

33:51

a movie does that, is that entertaining for

33:53

a person who is religious? I think for people that

33:55

want that, yes. That's interesting. Yeah.

33:58

It feels like it's like. We

34:00

don't want to restrict our children from

34:02

seeing movies at all, but we don't

34:04

want to take them to the Heathens

34:07

films. Kong versus Godzilla.

34:09

But it's got to be a little bit like

34:11

going back to Sunday school to watch a movie

34:13

where it's preaching at you. I don't think

34:15

this is that. I don't think these are as preachy

34:17

as David and Goliath when we were kids. But

34:21

you know, which by the way, I don't even know if

34:23

I knew those were religious. Like you just watch, oh it's

34:25

on a Sunday morning, it's like a cartoon, I'm in. I

34:28

had a feel, there was a pit in

34:30

my stomach watching them that told me they were religious. I

34:32

was like, something's wrong here, something's off. I feel like I'm

34:34

doing homework. I feel like I'm being taught and I don't

34:36

like it. Garen, you looked up

34:38

at the author? She is a Christian novelist. I

34:40

could for her. You know, find your... But that's not what

34:43

you saw. What did you see? No, that is what we

34:45

saw. There's also

34:47

that new movie, by the

34:49

way, update. We got the first human bird flu

34:51

case in Texas. Yeah. I showed up before

34:53

we started. All right. Then you

34:55

got the news better. I didn't want to tell you. I

34:58

don't want to ruin the episodes I bring in. Is that the citizen you got that from?

35:00

I got a citizen. Yeah, I got that. You know,

35:02

because that's local. You know, that can be to a

35:04

guy with a sword on the corner. Were you in

35:06

Van Nuys? There's

35:08

a guy with a sword in their

35:10

arhos now, apparently. This guy's got a

35:12

bayonet, the sword. The guild of corner

35:14

swordsmen. Right? The guild of corner

35:17

swordsmen. Oh wow. Fantasy baseball team

35:19

they have. There's

35:23

also that movie with I think Dennis Quaid and

35:25

Lauren, what's her name? The girl that was in

35:27

the trunk and licensed to drive. Graham?

35:31

Lauren Graham, is that her name? She plays,

35:33

I believe she plays

35:35

Dennis Quaid's wife. Because, of course, you

35:38

know, a good 40 year age. Full generation, Andrew. They

35:42

are in a plane and then the pilot, something happens to

35:44

the pilot, so then Quaid has to, it's based on a

35:46

true story, apparently, Quaid has to land

35:48

the plane. Yes, I've seen this one too. That

35:50

is also a faith-based film. And

35:53

I think Dennis Quaid has segued

35:55

into full religious programming.

36:00

of that movie yes on

36:03

a wing and a prayer yes right

36:05

there for you love it on the

36:08

nose nose on the prayer all

36:11

right here's the movie we saw over the

36:13

weekend I saw yesterday on Easter when one

36:15

p.m. showing do not expect too much from

36:17

the end of the world it

36:20

is a satire about show

36:22

business I heard about this I heard it was

36:24

really it was like supposed to be super funny

36:26

no no no my wife or son would have

36:28

walked out whoa it's two hours

36:30

and 40 minutes long one

36:33

woman found it very funny at least she

36:35

was convincing herself so for the first half

36:38

hour and then even she then went now I

36:40

can't even fake it anymore I assume that's what

36:42

I saw some headline that was like this is

36:44

the funniest movie of the year or whatever they're

36:46

out of there they're they're lying to themselves it

36:49

I know I liked it more than they did okay the

36:52

last half hours phenomenal I'll say that the last

36:54

time are is fascinating the

36:57

rest of it is as Danielle said I

36:59

hated it from frame one Wow and Oliver's

37:01

like I think I was at frame two

37:04

and unbeknownst to me because you

37:06

know the rule is you don't want to yeah

37:09

ruin somebody else's time if they're enjoying it

37:11

but at one point we're so we're two

37:13

hours and 20 minutes

37:15

in maybe at this point Daniel goes do

37:18

you want to go and I went

37:21

no and

37:24

because here's the truth had she has

37:26

said that ten minutes earlier I

37:28

would have said yes yeah but the ending

37:31

got me I was interested but also you made

37:33

it that far you might as well like that's

37:35

my feeling I a I agree with you be

37:38

others in the movie theater did not agree with

37:40

you Wow there were walk out there were walkouts

37:42

interesting it's not good it is huh again

37:45

it is getting good reviews of

37:47

my credit is getting a 98%

37:49

yeah but it and

37:51

it is it's I guess maybe I'm

37:53

misremembering the headline but it is a satire is

37:56

that we said yes so there is presumably

37:58

there is a good comedic premise. Nope,

38:01

behind it. But how is it a satire? It

38:05

is the life of a PA going

38:08

around, I think, Bucharest. And

38:12

that's how I invest, I think, Bucharest.

38:16

And they're making an

38:20

industrial film, you know, a

38:22

corporate video. And all the

38:25

ins and outs of how that is

38:27

a problem. In the meantime, she's also an Uber driver, and

38:29

they talk about a lot, but we never see her being.

38:32

And then she also has a TikTok account

38:35

where she plays a bro

38:39

who talks about getting

38:41

laid all the time. So she uses

38:43

a filter. And she at

38:45

a location, she will tell you, the

38:47

character will say, you know,

38:49

I'm outside of the, I'm in London, and

38:51

you know, and yelling and screaming and using

38:54

vulgarity. Words I will not use because they're

38:56

not words we use. And

38:58

that, I guess, is supposed to be funny. And

39:01

it's not. In

39:03

fact, it gets on your nerves. Yeah,

39:07

that's a... I'm sorry you've experienced that. For two

39:09

hours and 40 minutes. Also,

39:12

it was the theater where we went,

39:15

we went and saw the Gene

39:17

Wilder documentary, the Lemley Royale,

39:20

Royal in Santa Monica, which I've never

39:22

been to in my life, and I've not been to twice

39:24

in five days. They

39:27

have a theater there. And I am not a fan

39:29

of this. There are other theaters to do this as well. I'm not a

39:31

fan of this, where they split two

39:33

movie theaters with a wall. And

39:36

so there's no, there's only

39:38

one aisle. And then if

39:40

you have the far left seat, you're against

39:42

the wall. But if you buy that ticket

39:44

on a map on the internet, it

39:46

looks like you're next to an aisle. Oh,

39:49

yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So

39:51

you go, oh good, we got these three aisle seats. And then you

39:53

go, oh no, not only am I

39:55

now, like I've got to go over 15 people

39:59

to get out of this. By the way, every

40:01

movie theater that I ever, not

40:03

ever, but like when I was growing up, the movie

40:05

theater that I went to basically once a week, every,

40:08

it was a multiplex, every single theater was like that.

40:10

It was an aisle down the middle and- Iles on

40:12

the middle is different. Because-

40:15

But there's nothing on the side. That's true. But

40:17

this is just one aisle. Oh, oh, what? Yeah, no, no, no,

40:19

that's what I'm saying. No aisle down the middle. Oh, what? Iles

40:22

far to the right. Oh, that's terrible. And

40:25

then- I've never seen that. 15

40:27

seats across. So- Huh. What

40:30

was that theater? And it was a really big wide

40:32

theater. Was that what you're talking about? There are three

40:34

theaters. Oh, okay. And one is really

40:36

wide. So maybe they used to have two big wide

40:38

ones and then they split one of them. That's my

40:40

guess. Okay. If I have to take a guess.

40:43

Okay. But yeah, it's no,

40:45

it's because I'm with you.

40:47

Growing up, the general cinemas,

40:49

aisle down, like every theater in the world, and

40:51

then yes, you're against the wall on the far end.

40:54

That's not this. Jesus. And

40:57

then 15 seats over. And

41:00

again, I don't give a shit. But

41:02

when you're buying it on the internet, they

41:05

should tell you there's a wall there. Right. Yeah,

41:07

I guess the software doesn't account for terrible

41:10

design. Yeah. Anyway,

41:13

that was our weekend. Strong part of the weekend. Well,

41:16

Charlie and I saw Kung Fu Panda 4 and really enjoyed it.

41:18

Oh, good. Yeah. So

41:20

there's that. All right. Well, you guys

41:22

got a win out of it. Yeah. The ladies had

41:24

no interest in that film? I got a Sweet

41:26

16 party that Zoe's friend,

41:29

Cardi and some, you know, all

41:31

parents were invited. I

41:34

took the out. The out. Well,

41:37

all parents may have been invited. No, the

41:39

father does not need to be there. No. Father

41:42

or friend? No. No. I

41:45

went to another one of those parties

41:47

maybe a month ago because I've known

41:49

this, Zoe's been friends with this girl

41:52

since they were two years old and I've come friends with

41:54

her parents. And so I went because

41:56

it's nice to see her parents. And that was more

41:58

this one. I'm like, I. I

42:00

don't know the dad at all, the mom I'm

42:02

friendly with, but it's just like, ah, this isn't,

42:04

uh, this is gonna be the best coffee party.

42:06

Yeah, this is gonna be the night for me. Yeah,

42:09

no question. I'm gonna weigh our options and choose

42:11

wisely. And also, you and I have talked about

42:13

it many times over the years, as the kids

42:15

get older, there's less reasons for us

42:17

to be there. Mm-hmm. You know, Christmas

42:19

Eve's a different story, or, you know, the Hanukkah

42:21

party, the different, but if it's somebody's, a child,

42:24

if it's a kid's birthday party, Yeah,

42:26

let them have their, let them have their space. Yeah. Sweet

42:29

16, huh? Was there an automobile out in

42:31

the driveway with a ribbon on top of it? I don't know.

42:34

They were the, uh, that kind of family?

42:36

I didn't hear of that. And you would've.

42:39

It was, it was, uh, the party was

42:41

at a venue that they, you know, rented

42:43

out, so. Oh, big Sweet 16 bus. Yeah.

42:45

Um, maybe you should've gone. What was it,

42:47

was it Chuck Cheese? No. Did

42:50

you say 16-year-old? Of course not. That

42:52

was the humor. Well, you said it in such

42:54

an earnest way. Well, not really. I said Chuck

42:56

Cheese. So I didn't say it in earnestly at

42:58

all. Well, you had fun with

43:00

the name, but. Yes, but of course it's not

43:03

going to be Chuck Cheese. That's the absurdity of

43:05

it. But if there, if, if there was, if

43:07

the, if the franchise, uh, organization wanted to make

43:09

a place for Sweet 16, they would call it

43:11

Chuck Cheese. Like if

43:14

they would have a nicer sort of wing and. More

43:16

of a, yeah. Yeah. Although that's,

43:18

that's, I can see Oliver and his, I, fuck it. When

43:20

I was 16, if you said we're going to go to

43:22

Chuck Cheese and you're getting pizza and you're playing video games,

43:25

what, what, who would not want to do that? Yeah. A,

43:28

a 16. So we're going to go to Chuck Cheese. Mm-hmm.

43:31

And you're getting pizza and you're playing

43:33

video games. What, what, who would not

43:35

want to do that? Yeah. A, a

43:37

16-year-old girl, one imagines. Probably. Yeah.

43:40

I think they would call it Charles with a period after it.

43:42

Yeah, but that seems almost too formal. That's

43:44

too formal. Come on, Garin. No, it's perfect.

43:47

Garin's envisioning a more upscale experience. Yeah. And

43:50

I, I think I'm with you on that. Like, it's not

43:52

where I want to go, but for the,

43:54

the very, like the, for the families that really wanted

43:56

to blow it out and, and be. You're going to

43:58

go to Charles. Charles. Didn't

44:01

during the pandemic, didn't Chuck E Cheese

44:03

like have another name? Like maybe was the

44:06

name of the their

44:08

cartoon chef that they delivered pizzas under?

44:11

Oh, I missed that. Oh, I know most of them closed. A

44:13

lot of them closed and then they did a revamp. I don't

44:15

know. I saw a whole thing about it. They're

44:17

not. You're not happy with my wording of

44:19

most of them closed. You like better at lots of them

44:21

closed. I was agreeing with you and sound like it. I

44:23

was using my own words. How I came across to show

44:25

that I have to know how badly you come across. We

44:27

were taught. You have to. In

44:30

school, you're horrible. That in order to show that you're

44:32

listening, you're an absolute horrible. You're one of the top.

44:34

You say it, but not in the exact same way

44:36

because if you say it in the same way, then

44:38

all you're doing is parroting. I was

44:41

yelled at by a teacher. I don't remember parroting. Worst communicator

44:43

in the room or the fourth, but know this, you're the top

44:45

four worst communicators in this room. I

44:47

mean, that's true. He's correct. Pasquale's pizza and

44:49

wings. Oh, that's right. Is

44:52

one during the pandemic. They were delivered. I

44:55

know Google did most or did a lot of the stores close.

44:58

And then. Google boxing gloves

45:01

and see how much they cost and see if they could ship

45:03

them prime over to us immediately. I think you

45:05

want to go to Amazon rather than Google. No, you can Google

45:07

and see if there's somebody's local fee to deliver it. Plans

45:10

to permanently close on 34 locations. He just, he's

45:13

about to change the order from boxing gloves to

45:15

cinder blocks with that correction. He's like,

45:17

why are you pushing your luck now? I'm

45:20

leaning into the pit. That's in school.

45:23

We were trained. We were trained to lean into the pit. And then I was

45:25

yelled at when I didn't lean into the pit. I

45:27

can't believe that for a second. You

45:29

want Hulk boxing gloves? Yeah, give me the Hulk boxing

45:32

gloves. Twenty seven, twenty nine. Great. Have

45:34

them come over. They can get here in the next hour. I'm

45:36

happy to have them. All right. Let's take

45:38

a break. When we come back, our guest Steve Marmel is here.

45:40

I believe Steve had a trek up from the Marmel compound. Oh.

45:44

The, I'm not 100% sure where he lives these

45:46

days. I've not seen Steve in person in ages,

45:49

but he is a very

45:51

funny man. He's created a bunch of television programs

45:53

in addition to being very politically

45:55

active on the World Wide Web. And

45:58

also he himself. going through some health issues

46:00

that we'll talk about. Or we won't. Or

46:03

I'll say later, hey, let's edit that part out because maybe he doesn't

46:05

want to talk about that stuff. So

46:08

we're about to learn all that and more off the

46:10

air. And then we'll come back with some updates

46:12

on all that right after this. Hey,

46:14

dear listener, you know when I started podcasting, an

46:16

online store was the furthest thing from my mind.

46:19

It says out here on the piece of paper, I've

46:21

told you in the past, I disagree. It was the

46:23

only thing on my mind. Yeah, you don't have to

46:25

read it verbatim if it's not true. You can just

46:27

say your own phrase. Oh, no,

46:29

it says here, must read verbatim even if

46:31

not true. Oh my God, I know. I

46:34

know. They shouldn't say that. Well, Shopify runs

46:36

a tight ship. Shopify. Shopify. Right?

46:41

Did they just hear that? Yeah. Did they hear a little

46:43

thing? Here's the thing, you

46:45

guys. Shopify, they do it right if you want

46:47

to have an online store. They

46:49

take it from soup to nuts, as they

46:51

say. Mm-hmm. Which I don't understand. What does

46:53

that mean? Is someone having soup

46:56

as an appetizer and then at the end of

46:58

their dinner, they're eating nuts as a dessert? As

47:00

a maybe if it is a palate cleanser. I

47:03

had a doctor say that once, one of

47:05

my high-end Beverly Hills guys, where I said, oh,

47:07

what do I think I do? And he goes, oh, we'll take

47:09

care of everything from here. Soup to nuts. And

47:11

I literally went, I don't know if you're helping

47:13

me or not. Does that mean I make the

47:16

calls? You're doing- No, they're doing it everything, but

47:18

that never really made sense to me. It doesn't

47:20

make sense. What does make sense is using Shopify,

47:22

whether you're selling scented soap or offering outdoor outfits,

47:25

Shopify helps you sell everywhere from

47:27

their all-in-one e-commerce platform to their

47:30

in-person POS system. That's point of

47:32

sale, not something else. Wherever

47:35

and whatever you're selling, Shopify's got you covered.

47:38

Now, here's what I want you to do. This is a

47:40

great deal. I

47:42

agree. It's a crazy deal. It's a crazy-

47:44

It's a dollar a month. Right. And

47:47

this, I do have to read verbatim. Sign

47:49

up for $1 per month. Yeah. Trial

47:52

period at shopify.com/Pardo. That's

47:55

all lowercase. shopify.com/Pardo to

47:57

grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Again,

48:00

one dollar a month. Roll the dice on

48:02

this. And it's so easy to set up.

48:05

I've gone through it now. I've set one

48:07

up and it could not be simpler. They

48:09

make it so nice. What you

48:11

expect from a high-end

48:14

sales website, they walk you through

48:17

it easy. Shopify is the way

48:19

to go, guys. Shopify is the... I

48:21

want to say it. It's the future.

48:23

Shopify is the future. You're right. shopify.com/Pardo.

48:25

Shopify! Sell your stuff now. Hey,

48:29

I've said it before. I'm going to say it again,

48:31

Matt. Life does not happen biweekly. That's true. So why

48:33

should you pay them, my man? What

48:35

if life did happen biweekly? How would that look? I

48:37

guess you'd take the trash out less because you'd only

48:39

be taking it out every other week. Yeah, then you

48:42

got sneaky trash, man. Yeah, that wouldn't work at all.

48:44

I mean, that's just an

48:46

example of why having payday be biweekly

48:48

is crazy. Nothing should be on that

48:50

schedule. I think you should get

48:52

paid and then be able to put your check

48:54

stub right in the recycling to be taken out

48:56

once a week with the garbage. Thank you. You're

48:59

welcome. Do you like the way I wrap that

49:01

up? I do. Earn-In

49:03

can help you do all of that. They're

49:05

not going to take your trash out. Let's be clear.

49:08

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49:10

to help you get money in your hands today. Earn-In

49:13

is an app, by the way, Matt. That gives you access to your

49:15

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49:19

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49:21

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49:34

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49:36

download Earn-In today. That is spelled

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E-A-R-N-I-N and that's in the Google Play or

49:40

Apple App Store. When you download the Earn-In

49:42

app, you type in never not funny on

49:44

your podcast when you sign up. That

49:46

will help the show that lets them know we sent you there. Never

49:49

not funny under podcast. So they get the little

49:51

podcast thing and then type our name in there,

49:53

never not funny. Some people have been typing in

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NNF. They don't know what that means. Don't do

49:58

that. They're asking for never not funny. here,

50:00

I'm asking you for the love of God

50:02

on my knees, Dorf style. Subject

50:06

your available earnings, location, daily max

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and pay period max, see earnon.com/TOS

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for details. Earnon is a financial technology

50:12

company, not a bank. Bank products are

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issued by Evolve Bank and Trust member

50:16

FDIC. Earnon, get your money faster. Hey

50:19

everybody, welcome back to the program. 3406 is

50:22

the episode number, again, the unnecessary resets on a

50:24

show that you're listening to. I noticed

50:28

in the break, by the way, that Elliot

50:31

Hochberg is wearing a shirt from PXG, one

50:33

of the PXG golf shirts. You can head

50:35

to pxg.com and use promo code PARDO and

50:37

get 10% off all the apparel over there.

50:40

Nice. And I believe it's just apparel,

50:42

right? I don't know if you could use that for equipment, but I

50:44

think, you know what? I don't know, actually. Give it a

50:46

try if you want to. Throw the PARDO name in there

50:48

and see what it gets. But we certainly know. And what

50:50

do you think, comfortable? It is comfortable

50:52

and it's breathable. And I also discovered that

50:54

it kind of matches a pair of pants

50:56

I have. Yes. You're

50:58

looking more and more like a guy that's

51:01

reselling salmon on the corner. Wait, what? What?

51:03

Yeah, your pants and your shirt kind of sort of.

51:06

You have to stand up because I need to see

51:08

what that looks like. Look at this. There's a guy

51:10

where he's like, that's very specific. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yes.

51:12

Yeah. See what I mean? That is a match. What

51:14

is salmon on the corner? Because I've never... It's

51:16

a guy selling fish. Just a guy selling fish.

51:19

He looks like... Pretend I said corn, then, if that

51:21

fucking makes you happy. Whatever fucking

51:23

thing that guy's selling, that's what you're selling. He

51:25

looks like every person that would not let me

51:28

use their restroom in a market. There we go.

51:30

That's there. I'm sorry, sir. Exactly.

51:32

It's for employees only, sir.

51:35

There's some of those improv skills we heard from him. I hope he went

51:37

right in the car with us. I felt like I was in the market.

51:39

Right? Just don't make

51:41

it a fish market because apparently the whole fucking premise is

51:43

existing. I thought, no, well, I was interested. I didn't

51:45

know if it was something specific from Chicago or something.

51:48

That thing you put on a fucking safe that you don't

51:50

want to get used to. You're breaking in

51:53

and whatever that... some sort of acid that you put

51:55

around the

51:57

lock to break into a safe. Okay.

51:59

I reckon that's just convoluted. But

52:02

that's what you are. You know what you are? You're

52:04

the barge going into the fucking Scott Bridge. That's what

52:06

you are. The bridge is comedy and you're the barge

52:08

just taking it out. That's what you are.

52:10

Can you just yes and fucking once? Just

52:13

once go, hey, good one boss. Even in your

52:16

head just say it. No,

52:18

god damn it. You know what? Me

52:21

fucking bailing on this and getting the rig. Closer

52:23

than we've ever been. It's, it's, we are getting,

52:25

Garan, you're, you're the only one that's getting heard

52:28

of. He's gonna be fine. You're the one that's

52:30

gonna get hurt by that. When

52:33

I go solo, you're the one hurt. All right, let's bring our guest into the

52:35

mix. Whose eyes are now forever

52:38

see the outfit that Elliott put

52:40

together. It was, it's scarring. It's

52:42

much. It's much. It makes

52:44

me want to do a crossword. Don't

52:48

bring up crosswords. He's probably got 45

52:51

boring stories about him. Steve

52:53

Marmel is here. Steve is a longtime friend of mine who

52:55

I've not seen as I said probably in a couple of,

52:57

probably minimum 10 years. Yeah, minimum 10

52:59

years. We might have passed each other. Okay.

53:02

Yeah. And then just

53:04

went over there. You may have been with

53:06

somebody at Conan, like maybe a Sebastian or

53:09

somebody at Conan if you

53:11

were there. Maybe that, that may be

53:13

the only time that I may have seen you in

53:15

the last, since 2010. Sixtieth

53:18

improv party? No, I was sick. I

53:20

could not make it. Wow. Not

53:22

unlike you, my man. I am

53:24

dealing with a scroll of

53:26

health issues as well where I could not make

53:28

the improv sixtieth which would have been wonderful to

53:30

be at. I couldn't, I know this is going

53:33

to be, I couldn't make Bud's funeral. There were

53:35

many things I could not make that

53:37

I wanted to make because of these health issues.

53:40

You missed some good experiences and sad

53:43

excuses to network. But

53:45

you're past that. You don't need to be networking at

53:48

the improv. Who are you networking with? I

53:50

can't even think. These

53:52

actors? Are there VO guys

53:54

in there? Waiters? Sixtieth? Bartenders

53:56

that I need to move faster. Okay.

53:58

Do you want to talk to us? You call that networking? Yeah,

54:01

yeah, that's about it right now. But,

54:03

uh... Jimmy, I haven't been out

54:05

in like four months. You've been

54:07

locked down because of these health issues. Ah, it's the

54:09

worst. What's going on? Why don't we address

54:11

this immediately? You have an IV and you carried it

54:14

with you. Yeah, it's

54:16

like Linus' blanket, but it's keeping me alive.

54:19

So what's being pumped in you? Just fluids? No,

54:22

no, it's a unison. It's

54:24

a high dose antibiotic. Alright,

54:27

so like everybody in

54:29

my age, I got sciatica. I think it's

54:32

a write a package. Message. Package?

54:34

You don't want to write a package as well.

54:37

Write a package. I like my package still. And

54:39

it took a while, but I realized I needed

54:41

spinal surgery. Alright, fine. Okay. You

54:43

need a spinal surgery that sciatica was that bad. Yeah, my...

54:46

Even a... So, like, I get injections from mine. Yeah.

54:49

The injections weren't doing the job. I did that a couple

54:51

times and then it was just like, oh, okay, I'm just

54:53

getting puffy, but I still hurt. So

54:58

they looked at my x-rays and

55:01

literally a conservative guy and an aggressive

55:03

guy both went, oh, fuck. And

55:05

that's, you know, so set

55:08

up the surgery, got a great doctor, everything

55:11

was set. Night before, I'm

55:13

hobbling around getting ready. I step on my dog. Okay.

55:16

Okay, I have a little ossop, so his

55:19

name is Lambo. Sorry, Green Bay Packers. Who

55:23

we apologizing to? The

55:25

non-Packer fan? You're a

55:27

big Brett Favre guy. You like what he's doing today more than when

55:29

he played the game. You like him as

55:31

a person and politically. Yes, exactly. Okay. Spot

55:34

on. Him and Brett Favre. And

55:36

Aaron Roddard. I wish they would run together. I

55:38

wish they would co-VP with RFK Jr. You know

55:40

what would be great about that? If they ran

55:42

together, we could just... Look, we know

55:44

who's dumb because of the red hats. And

55:47

we know who's dumb because of RFK Jr. But

55:49

if those two guys ran together and we could just

55:51

see everybody on a list of who voted for them, then

55:53

just bring them to an island to be dumb with

55:55

them. Yeah, leave them in Red Neckistan. Yeah. Love

55:59

it. Right there. I step

56:01

on my dog. Yes, cuz I'm not paying

56:03

attention and he's 11. He's got four teeth,

56:05

but they all go into my foot Oh,

56:07

okay. So, you know again not a

56:10

big deal, right? Clean

56:13

it out go to the surgery Surgeons

56:15

look at it. They're like you're okay. They look at your foot.

56:17

They go you know, it's okay I think you're still do the

56:19

surgery. Yeah, they do the surgery and by the that

56:22

was Wednesday and by the Friday of the surgery my

56:24

Left foot looks like clay Matthews

56:26

Club hand when he was playing

56:28

and it was broken. It's just

56:30

gigantic and Looking to Ford nerds

56:33

clay Matthews clay Packers

56:37

No, no, I'm done. I'm done. This is every reference a

56:39

Packer. Those are the two references I have unless

56:43

we go dark so Literally

56:46

like the next in within four hours

56:49

like this the CDC is there an

56:51

infectious disease doctor is there and they're

56:53

like We're gonna get you on antibiotics. So

56:55

we don't have to amputate them like what? Like

56:58

that's even in that's in discussion. That's in

57:00

discussion. That's in discussion because you can't step

57:03

over your dog You can't you might lose your

57:05

foot. Yes, by the way, everybody everybody thinks Oh

57:07

cats have filthy mouths and they do but

57:10

dogs also have filthy mouths I thought it was

57:12

time to the dog's mouth was the cleanest spot

57:14

of its Wrong.

57:16

Yeah, it's bullshit. So why we letting them look

57:19

our faces? I don't know I don't know I

57:22

would make out with my dogs a lot, but that's over

57:24

Wow so Yeah,

57:27

see let me I mean only interrupting ask you

57:29

this So when you say you step on the

57:31

dog and then the teeth got into it so

57:33

you step on it and then defense Yeah, he

57:35

latched on to say don't do that. Yeah, he

57:37

wheeled around went and then he immediately felt bad

57:39

okay, and but I felt worse and And

57:43

like there's just like a bunch of different diseases

57:45

one has a 30% fatality rate. Oh neat Oh,

57:49

yeah. Yeah, you can google it

57:51

and you can actually go to

57:54

Hospital websites about dog bites and the

57:57

CDC and they're like, oh, yeah, it can be fatal

57:59

like and all All of a sudden, all my friends are like,

58:01

oh yeah, I had a friend in college, he lost his leg down to

58:03

his knee. What the? It's either

58:05

sepsis, there's another disease with a C,

58:08

and I've been on antibiotics probably

58:10

for six weeks. And

58:14

the most, literally

58:16

right now, my last dose is going in.

58:18

As we speak. As we

58:20

speak. So then you get to take the IV out. I

58:22

get to take the IV out. I could do it myself

58:24

here, but I think it's attached to my heart, so I'll

58:27

wait. I would recommend a medical pressure. Although

58:30

again, I've been to the doctor so much in the last

58:32

two years, I think I could probably take an eyeball at

58:34

the time. I would trust you more

58:36

than some of the people that visited me at home. Not

58:38

most of them, but there was one. I'm

58:40

like, I don't, did you just, are you faking it?

58:44

And you live down these days. You're down

58:46

in the OC? Yeah. Which, why

58:48

there, as a, you're as

58:50

liberal as they come. Yes. What

58:52

made you and your beautiful wife decide the OC was the spot

58:54

to be? You know, there's a

58:56

little town called Seal Beach. About 16 blocks

58:59

wide by the beach and it's four

59:01

blocks deep that it's literally

59:04

like a town in

59:06

Maine. It's you know, just

59:08

houses lined up in rows, a main

59:12

street with all the B

59:14

minus foods you could possibly want to eat. Because

59:17

it's a tourist town, right? And

59:20

it's quiet. It's nice. You

59:22

know your neighbors. That's coming handy

59:24

a lot. And

59:27

it's just, and it's not, remember

59:29

we have Katie Porter. Oh,

59:31

so you're in her area. Yeah,

59:34

I'm in Blue District currently. Oh,

59:36

currently, yeah. It could be dicey.

59:38

Yeah. Now I don't know the

59:40

map that well. Seal Beach

59:42

to, if you, you and again your

59:44

beautiful wife Judy is in the business. You have meetings

59:46

here in Hollywood or she's got to go to the

59:48

office in, what's that

59:51

area called? Howard Hughes

59:53

area over there. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. What kind

59:55

of a drive is that down? What's the commute

59:57

on that? The commute for her is probably an

59:59

out. hour each way unless

1:00:02

she's leaving after five and then it's two.

1:00:04

Yeah, right. And

1:00:07

for me, I can

1:00:10

write from home. I can write from anywhere. To get here today was

1:00:12

what, an hour and a half? It was

1:00:14

an hour, then it was 15 minutes of scrambling for

1:00:16

a bathroom, and then it was two minutes. Okay.

1:00:19

So... Well, you could have found a bathroom here. I

1:00:22

didn't know. Oh. I didn't know. I've

1:00:24

never been here. We had an outhouse. I don't

1:00:27

know. Did he really? I'm

1:00:30

like, if you don't let me do this, I'm going to have to go in your alley. And

1:00:32

he's like, okay. We have cameras.

1:00:35

So you're back there like a bum? Yeah.

1:00:37

Great. Yeah, nighted. I found a

1:00:39

nice salon, nail salon with a bunch of ladies that looked

1:00:42

like I was going to rob them. No,

1:00:44

because they panicked. They saw some machine dangling from your way.

1:00:47

Yeah, exactly. There's a cyborg here. And

1:00:49

he wants to use our can. So

1:00:52

yeah, it's just, yeah, it's been a run.

1:00:54

I'm sorry to hear that. I've

1:00:56

been following all along on your,

1:00:58

you're documenting these on Twitter. Currently

1:01:02

X formerly on Twitter. How's

1:01:04

the back? Yeah, that's a good question. You know,

1:01:06

the back's great. Oh, good. The back is fantastic.

1:01:09

I have no sciatica. I

1:01:11

have no plantar

1:01:14

satiitis. Everything that

1:01:16

went south was dog bite related. Wow.

1:01:19

Crazy. And I'm going to believe that

1:01:21

it's because when they, you know, they put you under

1:01:23

like all your ability to fight infections, just goes, oh,

1:01:25

we're going to take a break now. And

1:01:27

then that infection was like, hey, let's see if we can get

1:01:30

up to the heart. It was, yeah. Wow.

1:01:33

They mark your foot, right? Like,

1:01:35

you know, like when you're marking a child's growth,

1:01:37

they mark it to see where the infection's going.

1:01:39

And if it gets too far, it's going off. Then

1:01:44

they like, they come in with a sug. Could

1:01:46

you imagine? Ugh. Like one day

1:01:48

you're just, I mean, yes, you have your back

1:01:50

issues, but one day your feet are fine. Yes.

1:01:54

And then a week later, potential amputation.

1:01:56

Yeah. Oh, by the way, if I was

1:01:58

not in the hospital and I I would

1:02:01

have waited and I probably would

1:02:03

have been here with like those cool metal

1:02:05

scoops. You want to wear scoops? Yeah,

1:02:08

I'd have asked. Oscar Vassorius or whatever. Yeah,

1:02:10

Usain Bolt. I absolutely would have gotten those.

1:02:12

Usain Bolt? He's got real feet.

1:02:14

He's got real feet. That's not the rumor I'm spreading.

1:02:18

I mean that would explain his speed I guess. Yeah,

1:02:20

no, I would have gone scoop. But

1:02:22

then you have to murder, right? Isn't that how it

1:02:24

works? You get those feet, you got to kill? Yeah,

1:02:26

that guy did murder that South African guy. It's

1:02:30

a perfect crime because no one suspects

1:02:32

the... Did Oscar Vassorius do something bad

1:02:34

too? Yeah, that's the South African guy. Oh,

1:02:37

okay, my apologies. I'm going to say that was Usain

1:02:39

Bolt. I'm going to keep getting it

1:02:41

wrong. It's not him. I'm going to get it wrong all

1:02:43

show. It's not him. It is a good name for a

1:02:45

murderer though. It is, is it? Oh yeah. Murders

1:02:48

and then he's out of there. Yeah. Spy. That

1:02:51

would be a good spy. A good spy name.

1:02:53

No question about that. Usain Bolt. When you say

1:02:55

you could write from home, what are you

1:02:57

writing on these days? I am

1:02:59

working on, I have

1:03:01

to be vague, Independent

1:03:04

Comic Book, Pitch for

1:03:06

an Independent Comic Book. I am

1:03:08

also working on something for a

1:03:10

board game to try to turn it into a

1:03:13

thing. So it's very

1:03:15

vague because it doesn't exist

1:03:17

yet. Right, got

1:03:19

it. So that's going on and

1:03:23

honestly just bitching a lot on Twitter.

1:03:25

Yeah, I see that. Yeah, I see

1:03:27

that. I'm not ceding that to the

1:03:30

pale emperor. You are doing,

1:03:32

if you're not following Steve Marmel on Twitter, I recommend

1:03:34

that you do so. I think

1:03:36

it's just at Marmel if I'm not mistaken. It's just at Marmel. It's

1:03:39

where you and I reconnected over the years after

1:03:42

years of not seeing each other because we used to see

1:03:44

the truth of the improv all the time. Yeah. But

1:03:47

then you know, you got married and moved away. I got

1:03:49

married to have a kid. I do this. We End

1:03:52

up in different circles but you

1:03:54

still are friendly with each other.

1:03:56

But then Twitter, right around the

1:03:58

same time, let's say August. The

1:04:00

twenty fifteen when we go but we probably

1:04:02

should jumping on this is sad that meant

1:04:04

and and stop whatever the fuck is happening

1:04:06

to our tried to anyway I tried on

1:04:09

and does is that I. I. Said

1:04:11

I joined Twitter because I was I was a

1:04:13

do not want to join. That's right. Ah, but

1:04:15

I think I joined it's the week it stop

1:04:17

being fun. I says that when I don't have

1:04:19

enough without. with that assessment I went from comics

1:04:21

doing jokes to everybody saying holy shit if we

1:04:23

don't does stop this asshole. Our country's gonna be

1:04:25

in ruins read and dog. That's where we still

1:04:27

are. And. Now as you say you

1:04:29

on musk is running it's but you're not let

1:04:32

him kick yeah like old people run because of

1:04:34

his. yeah I I don't You know I don't

1:04:36

want to see the Town square. To add. To.

1:04:39

That guy, I did it out. I

1:04:41

mean, it's also lots. There's still lots

1:04:43

of decent people that I have connections

1:04:45

with that are you know, reaching out

1:04:48

offline to to activate voters and there.

1:04:51

There. And groups on Twitter that are working

1:04:53

on I'm like I'm not surrendering that right?

1:04:55

like I. If I can help somebody in

1:04:57

a in it in a different area and

1:04:59

vice versa then that's what it's for. You.

1:05:02

Know it's like I don't need to hit the. Boobs.

1:05:06

In bio weights I have you may I

1:05:08

be disagreeing soon as you do that and

1:05:10

you why not take all of us are

1:05:12

offering her and I've never I've never clicked

1:05:15

on it because I i fear that is

1:05:17

good like it's a virus or numbers may

1:05:19

so again very similar timing is on that

1:05:22

and dub for those that don't know your

1:05:24

way. For my main that we will not

1:05:26

talk about your wife she's not here you

1:05:28

are are your wife as a as a

1:05:31

manager who was his done great things for

1:05:33

guides for great careers. The I see is

1:05:35

have. Been. Featured on magazine covers and many

1:05:37

an article or as a powerhouse manager

1:05:39

in this business and see eye to

1:05:41

eye talk about all the time as

1:05:43

a shot sees the greatest Yeah my

1:05:45

managers the great for me and does

1:05:47

it but she's done it if if

1:05:50

I was at his rights. As. A

1:05:52

reserve or a second choice for me would have

1:05:54

been Judy and Die She is is wonderful. I

1:05:56

will I will say this of and also veer

1:05:58

from it which is the one. thing that

1:06:00

the pandemic did when I was trapped

1:06:03

in home and not sick but just trapped in

1:06:05

home yeah was I got to see how she

1:06:08

did what she did and

1:06:10

it's fucking mind-blowing how good

1:06:12

she is yeah um and I will leave

1:06:14

it at that because uh I'm sure she

1:06:17

would like to tell her own stories um

1:06:19

yeah right maybe right now she's somewhere talking

1:06:21

about your fucking foot for the 4 000th

1:06:23

time it's a good icebreaker for her zoom

1:06:25

meetings not bad yeah my husband's over there

1:06:27

slowly dying anyway uh how

1:06:29

do I get blank on

1:06:31

CBS uh you have also

1:06:33

created uh some animated programs

1:06:35

yes are they now I don't follow that

1:06:37

world are they still in the air um

1:06:39

let's see I didn't create fairly odd parents

1:06:41

but I did work on the first maybe

1:06:44

hundred episodes uh those are still on it's

1:06:46

still on the air 23rd anniversary of

1:06:48

it was a couple days ago uh because I saw

1:06:50

that blow up online uh Danny

1:06:53

Phantom which is uh I have

1:06:56

a secret about that what does that mean uh

1:06:59

I wrote it in a way that the show it

1:07:03

looked like a kid with ghost powers but I

1:07:05

wrote it differently I wrote

1:07:07

it with a different backstory who

1:07:10

are you keeping the secret from everybody

1:07:13

because I don't I don't know what you're okay I'm

1:07:15

not in that world so I don't know anybody here

1:07:17

uh watch cartoons uh

1:07:19

with their children or just to possibly

1:07:22

lure them okay

1:07:25

um yeah it's uh it

1:07:27

was basically it was a show about a kid that

1:07:29

got the powers of a ghost and

1:07:31

I always I'm gonna give you this yeah here's the

1:07:33

secret I always wrote him like he was dead and

1:07:36

it was sixth sense as a superhero love it yeah and

1:07:39

where do I where do I see that if I want

1:07:41

to I think it's on um

1:07:43

I got it probably on Paramount Plus

1:07:45

okay because it was Nickelodeon Danny Phantom yeah I

1:07:47

like the name I love that show that was

1:07:49

that's probably one of my favorite things oh great

1:07:51

yeah you because you were at Nickelodeon at the

1:07:53

same time my beautiful wife Danielle was when

1:07:56

she was working on Invader Zim yes and you were

1:07:58

like around the corner yeah I think working on

1:08:00

fairly odd parents. They were both coming on

1:08:02

at the same time. Zim was cool,

1:08:05

edgy, everybody loved it and

1:08:07

we were just doing this loud, stupid,

1:08:12

candy-colored show that was just jokes

1:08:14

per minute and nobody realized what

1:08:16

we were doing until the end of season one because rightfully

1:08:19

so, everybody loved Zim because it was

1:08:21

more adult, it was edgier and that

1:08:25

artist had an independent comic

1:08:27

book that everybody loved. Right, Jonah, is that his name?

1:08:29

Did I get that right? Yeah, Jonin. My memory. Hit

1:08:31

it, it

1:08:36

was insane. Hit it, memory. Thank

1:08:43

you. I'm

1:08:45

glad I'm wearing the earphones now. Yeah, see that's why,

1:08:47

what if that's the only jiggle we could have

1:08:50

to put these on? You

1:08:52

have to trust us. 1.2

1:08:54

seconds of sound. Wait,

1:08:57

I had another question about the shows you created

1:08:59

but I don't know if you're afraid. You and

1:09:01

your mutual friend Jack Thomas worked on something together?

1:09:04

Yeah, he was on Odd Parents. Oh, he was

1:09:06

on Phantom. Okay. And then he has gone off

1:09:08

to have just a stellar career as an animation

1:09:10

writer. Oh, good for him. Yeah, still doing it. Still

1:09:12

doing it. I have not seen Jack since

1:09:15

pre-lockdown. Oh, I've seen

1:09:17

a lot of people on Austin's pre-lockdown. You know, we're

1:09:19

all married and hiding and nobody wants to drive. Driving

1:09:22

sucks. Right. Although you've got, I don't like the

1:09:24

people in this room, you have an electric car.

1:09:26

I do. And you went with the VW. I

1:09:28

did, I did. I had a

1:09:30

Tesla and then Musk started

1:09:32

playing footsie with Ivanka and

1:09:34

I sold it. I'm like, I don't

1:09:37

want to be in this red hat with

1:09:39

batteries and wheels. Right. So I got,

1:09:42

I signed up for the VW. I got

1:09:44

it like two years later. We were still in

1:09:46

lockdown. Car has like nine miles. I think

1:09:48

I drove it more coming here than I have

1:09:50

since I've had it. But yeah, it's a

1:09:52

great, great old German car. The

1:09:55

climate goes up to 450 like most

1:09:57

German. But Aaaah!

1:10:01

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Aaagh!

1:10:03

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh,

1:10:05

boy. Yeah. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew button! I'm pointing

1:10:08

it at... Yeah, point to me! Yeah, point to

1:10:10

me! Oh yeah! Okay! I know, I don't blot

1:10:12

hair blue eyes, but you know, shit hits the

1:10:14

fan, I can hide. Ha ha ha ha! I'm...

1:10:16

I'm... I'm... Yeah, I can't. Oh, you're... Ha

1:10:19

ha ha ha! You're... I'm an atheist

1:10:21

now, and I still can't. Nope. Nope.

1:10:23

Yup. If only there were another symbol

1:10:25

you could wear around your neck like a cross to

1:10:28

say, I'm an atheist. Maybe that would protect you a

1:10:30

little bit. What could you wear? I just a picker

1:10:32

or whatever. I'm not entirely sure that being an atheist

1:10:34

in a world that's going after Jews is the best

1:10:36

choice. I think the cross is probably the better choice.

1:10:38

Yeah, good call. Yeah, I would do that. Or

1:10:41

just, I think to answer your question, the picture

1:10:43

Ricky Rivets... Ha ha ha ha ha! Look for

1:10:45

that. Let them know that you don't believe in

1:10:47

God. You know, the man in the clouds. I

1:10:49

did not know that about him. Oh, Jesus, Matt!

1:10:52

What is he saying? He says God's bullshit. He

1:10:54

doesn't believe in God. I know it never comes out. There's no... Wait,

1:10:57

there's no... White man with a

1:10:59

big beard and the sky in the clouds.

1:11:01

According to him, there's not. Wow. And

1:11:03

I don't know if he's doing a comedy bit or if he really

1:11:05

believes that, but he really doesn't shut the fuck up about it. I

1:11:08

swear that I haven't heard him say it.

1:11:10

I totally enjoyed that man's comedy. Yeah. I

1:11:12

saw him live. I saw him live too!

1:11:14

Yeah. At the Dolby. Yeah.

1:11:18

You know, I sat up and like formed... I think I

1:11:20

was there. We had a chance to... I

1:11:22

think we all went to that show because we were

1:11:24

all excited that it was his first like U.S. or

1:11:26

at least first California show. And like, oh, it's right

1:11:28

here. The guy from the office. And then the stand

1:11:30

up was okay. Yeah.

1:11:33

Yeah. He's okay. Yeah.

1:11:36

Right? Is that fair to say? But

1:11:38

we all got out. We didn't go. We all

1:11:41

got out, Steve. I want to say the opener was Ahmed Ahmed.

1:11:43

Is that safe to say? I don't remember. I think that's what

1:11:45

it was. I think

1:11:47

it was Ahmed Ahmed, who was very funny.

1:11:49

Yeah. And funnier than Ricky. But

1:11:52

Ricky had that because there were a

1:11:54

lot of executive suits in there. Yep. But

1:11:58

he had that, oh, we're seeing Ricky Gervais. wave

1:12:01

carry him through an average

1:12:03

stand-up comedy show. Yeah. Are

1:12:05

you best friends with him Steve? No,

1:12:07

no, no. I just, I don't, I

1:12:09

actually don't like bagging on comics in

1:12:11

general. But he's not. That's

1:12:14

fair. Right, he's crossed

1:12:16

the line. Yeah. Is

1:12:19

Aaron Rodgers a quarterback anymore? No.

1:12:21

No. He's apparently a...

1:12:24

He's a doctor. A

1:12:26

microbiologist. He's gonna do his own

1:12:28

research, Matt. I can't

1:12:30

wait to see the studies that he's

1:12:32

putting out. Oh, Lord. What...

1:12:36

You think he'll complete the study or you think he'll just like

1:12:38

start it and then not be able to do

1:12:40

it for a year? I'm gonna go with that. That's...

1:12:43

The guy made $37 million for four minutes.

1:12:45

Is that all he played that season? Yeah, he played

1:12:48

like four plays and he was out. They had to

1:12:50

pay him. You are a guy who on NFL Sunday

1:12:52

you will put your Packers gear on

1:12:54

to watch the game at home. Yep. Love

1:12:56

it. Yeah? I love that. Got the little

1:12:58

flag. Yeah. I go to Lambo. I used

1:13:01

to go every year. Now I go every couple years. It's...

1:13:04

I love it. I just... It's... I

1:13:06

like those little communal experiences. Like

1:13:09

you know, freezing to death. Yeah. I

1:13:11

don't go to warm games. I go to cold games. You

1:13:14

assist on it. Yeah. Well, you need to so your foot

1:13:16

stays active. Yeah,

1:13:18

you know, in case my heart goes out,

1:13:20

I'm already frozen. Right. They don't need to

1:13:23

drop me in water. Sure. And you're from

1:13:25

Wisconsin? College in Wisconsin. From Chicago.

1:13:27

Oh, no, I didn't know you were from Chicago. I

1:13:31

almost brought Pequot's Pizza. I

1:13:33

have a frozen Pequot's Pizza. I almost brought

1:13:35

it. I'll send you some. That's

1:13:38

on you. I just had a bunch

1:13:40

of Lou Malnati's finely shipping thin crust.

1:13:42

Oh. And here's what happened. I'll be

1:13:44

full disclosure. I'll give them the

1:13:47

customer service, the compliment that

1:13:50

it deserves. My order came incorrectly.

1:13:52

It arrived at the house incorrectly

1:13:54

and my wife and son don't

1:13:56

eat meat. So there was they

1:13:59

forgot to put the. cheese pizzas in. And

1:14:01

so I wrote them immediately and said, you've only shipped

1:14:03

the pepperoni to the sausage. Forgot

1:14:06

the cheese. And they within minutes wrote back

1:14:08

and they've sent four more pizzas. Love it.

1:14:11

Wow. Tastes of Chicago, I believe is

1:14:13

where you do that. Anyway, I've got that coming. Okay.

1:14:16

And but I look forward to. I will, I will, I

1:14:18

will get you P quads. I have

1:14:22

spent the last few years just and again,

1:14:24

I just because I like to. Yeah.

1:14:27

And he entertains me on Twitter and I'm like, Oh, they

1:14:29

have COVID. I will send the pizza. I

1:14:32

nice man. No, no, it's I do it for

1:14:34

cloud. Okay. How's

1:14:36

that going? Not very well. Okay.

1:14:40

I mean, I have zero to promote except your

1:14:42

show. Well, I did that. I know

1:14:45

you did. And I look forward to you doing

1:14:47

it later in the week as well when the episodes out. Oh,

1:14:49

okay. What that was not a

1:14:51

good sound like I was reprimanding. I was not. I was saying I

1:14:53

look forward to you doing some more because you're wonderful

1:14:55

on the on the platform. I know exactly

1:14:57

formally. You are. Where

1:15:01

in Chicago? What part of the city? Lincolnwood,

1:15:04

which is right by Skokie. Yeah. North.

1:15:08

And I went to the same high school as Merrick Garland,

1:15:10

although I think I'm having a better third

1:15:12

act. Well, in fairness,

1:15:14

you have a stronger spine now. Wow.

1:15:17

I'm going to. Thank you. Send

1:15:20

me a pizza. Yeah. That's pizza

1:15:22

worthy. That's pizza worthy. I'll also

1:15:24

make sure there's a cheese one in there for your.

1:15:26

Oh, but you are you are overly kind, completely

1:15:29

unnecessary, but I will accept it because who doesn't

1:15:31

want free pizza? Free pizza. You

1:15:33

went to the University of Wisconsin at Madison. That's why I think you're

1:15:35

from there. Yes. And that's where you

1:15:37

started to stand up there, right? Yes. Okay.

1:15:41

I spent six years getting a four year journalism. Got

1:15:43

it, buddy. I

1:15:48

spent the last year as student body president. I joked my

1:15:50

way in and

1:15:52

it paid $10,000. Wait, you got paid to be

1:15:54

the student body president? Yeah. Of a college.

1:15:57

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. going

1:16:00

on we would book comedians. Okay. And

1:16:03

I would book like we book emo Phillips. Okay. And

1:16:05

then emo would need an opener and

1:16:08

the opener would be me. Okay.

1:16:11

And the Student Senate which was 85% my

1:16:14

party would approve the

1:16:16

budget and I would be paid close to what

1:16:18

emo made and I paid off my college student's

1:16:20

debts. Wow. Wow. Through

1:16:23

that. That sounds like insider trading. Yeah.

1:16:27

Of course. For gigs

1:16:30

and so on and so forth. Yeah. Places where

1:16:32

you like you know am I going to kill

1:16:34

or am I going to get killed? Right. Go

1:16:36

either way. Yeah. Yeah. So

1:16:40

what and by the way you go into college I

1:16:42

don't clearly you're not right out of college

1:16:44

you went probably 30, 40 years ago, 30 years ago. $10,000

1:16:47

is a lot of money back then. Yeah.

1:16:50

It's a lot of money now. Yeah. But

1:16:52

$10,000 is then. Oh it was insane. I

1:16:54

was like what? Like I didn't know that. Some

1:16:57

Republican douchebag got caught

1:16:59

in a DUI trying to get out of it named

1:17:02

Bob Caston and so the party was called the

1:17:04

Bob Caston School of Driving Party and

1:17:06

it was the year that nobody

1:17:08

wanted to take it seriously and I won. And

1:17:11

then I found out like oh it's a grift.

1:17:14

I didn't realize that. Well

1:17:17

shit. Okay. Yeah.

1:17:20

And so we just did dumb stuff for a year and then

1:17:22

the following year they dismantled student

1:17:24

government. You broke

1:17:27

it. I did. I did. I'm

1:17:29

very proud of that. That a boy. Now let me ask

1:17:31

you in addition to emo who else did you book? That's

1:17:36

prime comedy boom bookings.

1:17:38

Right? Yeah. Let's

1:17:41

see I got Roger Paul. Remember Roger

1:17:43

Paul? Roger Paul. And it would

1:17:45

be a booker correct? Roger Paul pitched me Paulie Shore.

1:17:47

Oh. I'll let go. I told him

1:17:49

I was a comic and he pitched somebody else. I

1:17:53

thought that was mean but fair enough. And

1:17:59

you know the only other Another name I can remember off

1:18:01

the top of my head is a band called The

1:18:03

Rainmakers. Because it

1:18:05

was Halloween. There was always a big Halloween party. So

1:18:08

we booked them and the opening act was me. Oh

1:18:11

boy, it sounds like this guy got to be the opening

1:18:13

act. I don't know. It was a grift. It

1:18:16

was a grift. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't

1:18:18

illegal. Or at least totally

1:18:20

the statue of a date. Yeah. Sounds

1:18:22

like a murder car. Yeah. Well it's

1:18:24

not like it was hidden. Like they saw that you did the

1:18:26

show and you had been elected to the pose. It was not

1:18:28

like you just took the money and then somebody else showed up

1:18:31

and it was the opening act. I know showed

1:18:33

and paid somebody 100 bucks. Exactly. And if

1:18:35

you suck, they wouldn't have let you do it again, right? No, they

1:18:37

would not. But there was a time, it

1:18:39

was at that point where it's like, oh, I got to win

1:18:41

you over because you all hate me. Okay.

1:18:45

So the first five minutes was just like, fuck you. I'm

1:18:47

like, yes. Yeah. Yeah. But

1:18:50

you paid for this. The students, they pay for

1:18:52

it through the tuition. Through the tuition. Yeah, yeah.

1:18:55

Which was, by the way, it was reasonable back then. Like,

1:18:57

you know, it was, I think

1:19:00

it was like 3,000 a

1:19:02

semester for an out of state student. Wow.

1:19:05

Yeah. So whenever it's like, well, I paid

1:19:07

my student debts. I'm like, what was that, a nickel? Good

1:19:10

for you. Good for you. Yeah.

1:19:13

You know, all that money that you let them have

1:19:15

goes right back into the economy, right?

1:19:17

Yeah. Mm-hmm. So you know

1:19:19

who else was in the, I was trying to

1:19:21

find out how much college cost when

1:19:24

I went. And

1:19:28

I ended up going out of rabbit hole

1:19:30

on a webpage of what colleges, congressmen

1:19:33

went to and what they paid

1:19:35

at the time. And Jim

1:19:37

fucking Jordan graduated

1:19:40

while I was there. Wait, he went

1:19:43

to the same school as you? He went to the, if

1:19:45

this website is correct, and I'm going to guess it was because

1:19:47

the internet is always correct. But

1:19:50

according to the website, he graduated from

1:19:52

the University of Wisconsin-Madison in 1986,

1:19:56

which means I probably made

1:19:58

fun of him for being short. Yeah, you

1:20:00

probably did. You know what? I'm

1:20:03

going to just say I did. I'm

1:20:05

going to just say I did, that I maybe put

1:20:07

a beer on his head and said, hold that, or

1:20:10

you know. I will say this. There's a guy who's five foot

1:20:12

three and a half and that might be a stretch. I

1:20:16

hate short jokes, but boy do I love your jokes

1:20:18

about Jim Jordan. I mean,

1:20:20

they're the ones I give a

1:20:22

pass to. Thank you. Because he's

1:20:24

such a vile human

1:20:26

being. Do

1:20:30

people not know they could vote for somebody

1:20:32

else in that district? Have you seen what

1:20:34

his district looks like? Well, yeah, so Jerry

1:20:36

Rigdon. Yeah, it looks like the

1:20:39

Herbert from Family Guy, right? It's

1:20:41

just got that thing and there's

1:20:44

a chin and probably a pedophile

1:20:46

involved somewhere. Well, Jim? Jim? Comedy

1:20:49

show. Comedy show. I'm making

1:20:51

a video. Allegedly. You had

1:20:54

a file adjacent. Comedy show. Certainly adjacent.

1:20:56

Yeah. Being in

1:20:58

his own party and isn't Jim Jordan the one with the

1:21:00

wrestler? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's

1:21:02

images of him like squatting, trying

1:21:05

to seem threatening and

1:21:07

I really just want to go, oh,

1:21:09

you're a scary little boy. Yeah.

1:21:11

In fairness, shorter guys are better wrestlers. I will

1:21:14

say that. Okay, fair. As a guy that

1:21:16

was a wrestler growing up until they

1:21:18

threatened to pink belly me and then I was like,

1:21:20

I'm going to find the theater. Thank you. I

1:21:23

don't know what this initiation is for or why,

1:21:25

but you weirdos. Well, you got

1:21:27

to make you one of us by hurting you. Yeah. Seems

1:21:30

insane. You also live longer than us. Short people,

1:21:32

doesn't it? I don't know. I think

1:21:34

tall people die faster. Is that in

1:21:36

the Gary, is that in the Randy

1:21:38

Newman track? Yeah. Short people, they live

1:21:41

longer. Yeah. I

1:21:43

think you do. All right. I

1:21:46

don't know. Yeah, I've heard that. I do know. But

1:21:49

I do know if you got what I got in my foot, it

1:21:51

would be easier to get to your heart. Oh, no question. Yeah, it's

1:21:53

a quicker, the highway is not as long to get up there. In

1:21:55

fact, I can tell you it's about a 26-inch inseam. I

1:21:58

don't know why Dirty Carson showed up. 26th

1:22:01

Infantry, one time Jewish DeWitt was looking that

1:22:03

in the scene. I

1:22:05

looked over, there was Sheryl's house in Bradley with jizz on his

1:22:07

glasses. Yes.

1:22:09

Thank you, Eddy. That

1:22:12

gentleman's name is Steve Marmel. Now, Steve, over the

1:22:14

weekend, did you do anything for Easter? No, you're

1:22:17

a Jew. You're not doing an Easter thing? No.

1:22:20

So nothing. What do you do on a

1:22:23

Sunday down there in Porterville? I

1:22:25

watched stuff. Watched

1:22:28

Spider-Verse, because that always makes me happy. Watched,

1:22:34

finished the

1:22:37

Capote versus the Swans.

1:22:39

Now, my wife didn't love it. Your thoughts?

1:22:42

Loved it until the last two episodes. That made me what

1:22:45

she said. Yeah. It was really

1:22:47

good, because it was just amazing. I was like,

1:22:49

oh, I hate this guy. Oh, I feel sorry

1:22:51

for him now. Oh, I hate him. Oh,

1:22:54

now I feel pity. Oh, drink yourself to

1:22:56

death. Oh, come back. And then the last

1:22:58

two episodes is like, meh, I

1:23:01

hate all these people. Yeah, right? Yeah.

1:23:04

I'm sorry to bring it up. Sorry. Just

1:23:06

asking about your weekend. Yeah, my weekend was TV, SNL. SNL. SNL

1:23:09

Live. Now, are

1:23:13

you the three of us, and Gary, you watch it every week, too,

1:23:15

do you not or you're not? SNL

1:23:17

Live. I don't watch it. All right. So,

1:23:20

Elliot, Matt and I, we watch it every week. My

1:23:22

son loves it and then is truly disappointed when

1:23:24

it's not good. It's like ruins this week. Okay.

1:23:28

But we still are all in on it. It sounds

1:23:30

like you are as well. Yeah. No,

1:23:32

I love weekend update. Love it. Boy,

1:23:34

I wish that'd expand it to another five minutes

1:23:37

minimum. I know. I

1:23:39

like that. I like the monologues are hit and

1:23:41

miss, but I like that they're booking comics to

1:23:45

host now. And

1:23:47

again, some of those are hit and miss. Yeah. And

1:23:50

honestly, unless I'm wide awake,

1:23:53

I'm probably done after weekend update. I'm

1:23:56

like, okay. You're going to watch the second performance

1:23:58

by the musical artist. No.

1:24:00

What else have you got in your tracks? Yeah.

1:24:02

Let's hear another Travis Scott joint. That's an instant

1:24:05

fast forward for me. I was okay not listening

1:24:07

to that. Yeah. That's not for me. Look, you

1:24:09

love it. You love it. I like music people

1:24:11

don't like. So if that's your bag, you love

1:24:14

it. Listen to it. It's not for me. Yeah.

1:24:16

I want to get to the funny. I

1:24:18

want to get, which is why I

1:24:20

love weekend update because it's just, it's

1:24:23

jokes. And I love written, it's why

1:24:25

I like roasts. I know that some

1:24:27

people find them too mean, but if the jokes are so

1:24:29

well written, I love the well

1:24:31

written joke and that's how it is with

1:24:34

update for me. I look forward to the news.

1:24:36

In fact, if they got rid of SNL, it was

1:24:38

just the Saturday Live or

1:24:40

it was now just weekend update for 45

1:24:42

minutes. I'm in. Remember they did that one

1:24:44

summer. It was like leading up

1:24:46

to the, was it? It was 2016. Yeah. Yeah. And

1:24:50

like, look, it's one of the things where

1:24:52

if you, it's like they leave you wanting

1:24:54

more, which is good. If you

1:24:56

expand it, the risk is it's not as good as,

1:24:59

as you know, as it is in its compressed form,

1:25:01

but that was still good. Like I still, even

1:25:04

twice as long and you know, 70% as

1:25:06

good is still great. Like I'm still, I

1:25:08

watch that every week. I'll tell you this, that's

1:25:10

what turned me around on those two dudes. Yeah. Cause

1:25:12

I wasn't all in on jokes today. I agree. And

1:25:14

then the longer version is where I went now I'm

1:25:17

wrong. I'll admit I'm wrong. I like these

1:25:20

two and more importantly, I like the jokes. Yeah.

1:25:22

They got a good, two weeks ago in SNL

1:25:24

and we can have the, we can talk about

1:25:26

this. No characters, no characters, nothing but jokes. I

1:25:28

kind of almost applauded. I ran around the house

1:25:30

with a flag, but it was so short. I

1:25:32

mean, it felt short because of that. I

1:25:35

know. And you know what? Most of the time

1:25:37

the characters driving nuts, but I, they, they, they

1:25:40

won me over with the owl. The owl. I

1:25:42

loved the owl. I know Jimmy's going to disagree

1:25:44

with this. No, I'm not. As Danielle says, Danielle

1:25:50

says, whenever she comes on and I giggle,

1:25:52

she goes, you just love her. Oh really?

1:25:54

And I do. I didn't know that. I

1:25:56

love her. I love her. Commitment to every

1:25:58

character, whether it's good or bad. bad and

1:26:00

yes I know she laughs during it

1:26:03

but I don't give a shit. I

1:26:05

think she's terrific. Yeah and that was

1:26:07

maybe one of the best things she's done on the show.

1:26:09

I am very hit and risk on her but

1:26:13

Pigeon herpes. I'm like okay you

1:26:16

had me at Pigeon herpes. They

1:26:18

had me at who? That's how

1:26:20

dumb I am. And she's doing

1:26:22

the hand thing. She's just doing

1:26:24

it. Sarah Sherman. Yeah,

1:26:27

Sarah Squirm. Isn't that

1:26:29

what she goes by as a

1:26:31

live performer? I don't know. Yes, she used

1:26:33

to. Maybe she still does a lot of shows at the Dynasty

1:26:36

typewriter. Okay. Maybe

1:26:38

UCB? But certainly

1:26:41

at the dynasty. Yeah, she's in that world. Yeah,

1:26:43

I think so. What was the thing she

1:26:45

was doing? There was another sketch where she was supposed to

1:26:47

be crying and she could tell that she was cracking up.

1:26:49

It was the crime scene. Oh yeah.

1:26:52

We should have asked for delivery. You

1:26:55

might have been checked out because that was after the news.

1:26:57

Yeah. It was fun. Okay,

1:26:59

all right. Even does Mukes delivered. It

1:27:01

was just playing with that stupid idea

1:27:04

of CSI Miami where you see a

1:27:06

joke and then put the sunglasses on

1:27:08

and it's like a crime scene. Puns

1:27:10

now? What about my thing? It turns into a whole thing. Yeah,

1:27:14

okay. And

1:27:16

yeah, she could not get through that sketch. Yeah,

1:27:19

she plays the widow and she comes in.

1:27:21

Sure. And she's like, you know, he loves

1:27:23

comedy, he loves humor. And

1:27:25

so the whole bit is like, he's like, well, I got something that

1:27:27

might cheer you up. And they're like, don't do it. Don't do it.

1:27:30

And he's like, well, she's like, maybe I would like to hear a

1:27:32

joke. The joke is

1:27:34

just like obviously in poor taste. But yeah. It's

1:27:37

funny. It was really funny. Even

1:27:39

when it stinks, I go, you know what? Yeah.

1:27:42

I enjoy comedy. SNL is such a weird thing where

1:27:44

like if I'm not in a good mood, I hate

1:27:46

it. If I'm in a good mood, I like it.

1:27:49

It just rides that line of like, it

1:27:51

could be the same episode. But if I'm tired,

1:27:53

I think it's stupid and annoying. And if I'm not

1:27:55

tired, I'm like, hey, they're stupid fun and they're having

1:27:58

fun and it's so silly. I

1:28:00

don't know. I'm sure our show is like that too probably.

1:28:02

There's always a hit. We

1:28:05

do stupid comedy too and if I was

1:28:07

not in the right mood I'd probably be

1:28:09

like, ugh, so tedious. Alright, so I'll ask

1:28:11

you guys. When they do the last one

1:28:13

of the season and they

1:28:16

don't know what jokes are coming. Yeah.

1:28:19

I love that. Do you believe that?

1:28:22

Yeah, right. Because there's a dress rehearsal. So what do

1:28:24

they do? I've heard that they do some different jokes

1:28:26

but some of the same jokes in the dress rehearsal.

1:28:29

If we're to believe the stories about Stefan

1:28:31

and the cue cards being different to our

1:28:33

hater, because Milaney would write new things. If

1:28:35

we're to believe that story, why would we

1:28:37

not believe that they are springing them on

1:28:39

Che and just? I want

1:28:41

to believe that. Or Jost is the

1:28:43

greatest actor in the world. Yes, and if

1:28:45

he was, he would be in movies.

1:28:48

So he's not. Right. So

1:28:51

I believe it. And when he is in movies, he's not

1:28:53

great. He's a little stiff. Right?

1:28:55

So yeah. But he can, I mean, he can

1:28:57

do, we know he can do one thing. Because

1:28:59

there's other bits that are not part of that

1:29:01

last thing. Yeah. Well, he knows like the other

1:29:04

Sarah Sherman bits where she just comes out and

1:29:06

acts like he's a child molecular or whatever. Yeah.

1:29:09

Like he knows that's going to happen. They've

1:29:11

rehearsed that too. And he does respond. He's

1:29:13

good at that one thing of being

1:29:16

uncomfortable. Yeah, when she came out

1:29:18

as his missing son. Yeah. I'm

1:29:21

like, alright. Good stuff. Alright, I

1:29:23

don't hate this one. Yeah. See,

1:29:25

people that email us, we can be positive. See

1:29:28

that, everybody?

1:29:32

I'm just happy to be out, not in a robe. Good

1:29:34

for you. You deserve it,

1:29:36

right? Get your Felix Unger robe off. I could

1:29:38

have gone Oscar Madison, but I gave you the

1:29:40

respectful character. I appreciate that. You're welcome. What,

1:29:44

you know what, let's do this. It's time for this.

1:29:46

Wait, hang on. There it is. I

1:29:49

love this question, it's on its

1:29:51

way. I love this question, it's

1:29:54

here to stay. And

1:29:56

Matt will probably get it right.

1:30:00

Is that okay?

1:30:02

Alright, now see the one thing we didn't tell

1:30:04

you is my son writes these trivia questions. Okay.

1:30:06

And he's been doing it for the last X

1:30:09

amount of years that he's now 16. So

1:30:12

yeah, great. Okay, he writes trivia. But when

1:30:14

he was 10, it was exciting. Right. But

1:30:17

he still does it and... Because child labor

1:30:19

is back. Yeah. Right? Because Ted Cruz said

1:30:21

it's okay. Better than ever. By

1:30:25

the way, Citizen, a white truck flipped on

1:30:27

the freeway. Why we gotta bring race into

1:30:29

it? Why

1:30:31

we gotta do that? Alright, here's

1:30:33

your question. Or here's your topic rather. Okay.

1:30:38

By the way, as if at Magic, I

1:30:40

just got an email from Taste of Chicago thanking me

1:30:42

for the shout out we just gave him. That's

1:30:44

true. That would be creepy. But seriously, look

1:30:47

at that one. Taste of Chicago. Yeah. It

1:30:49

did just come in as if... Magic.

1:30:53

Alright, god damn it. You can find the... Where

1:30:55

is your son's? There it is. 840 this morning.

1:30:58

Okay. Your topics? Machines.

1:31:02

Ah, machines. Could

1:31:04

be anything. Could be anything. Yeah.

1:31:06

Very broad. Machines. Machines.

1:31:08

Alright, so Steve, pick a number from the

1:31:10

back there. Okay. And what you feel confident

1:31:13

on with machines. You can cross it off

1:31:15

for us when you... I know that I...

1:31:18

May or may not feel confident about this. We'll

1:31:21

find out as it came in. Steve, do not reveal

1:31:23

your bet or your answer until I ask you for

1:31:25

it, sir. Okay. Okay, I've

1:31:27

written down my bet. I have to. Garin, have

1:31:29

you written yours down? Sir. Didn't know you were

1:31:32

so anti-SNL. Garin, I thought you enjoyed comedy. No,

1:31:34

no, I love SNL. I just... For some reason,

1:31:36

I just don't... I haven't watched

1:31:38

it lately. I watched... I did watch that one

1:31:40

where she was his son. I

1:31:42

saw that episode. I just... I don't

1:31:44

know why I never just sit on and put it on. Especially

1:31:46

when I'm... You know you can record those things, right?

1:31:48

Yeah, or watch them on... Well, I just watched it

1:31:50

on... I just watched it on... On the Hulu. Peacock

1:31:53

or whatever. Peacock. Peacock. The cock. Why, I don't. What

1:31:55

if they just called that? Yeah. The cock. I

1:31:58

believe, if I may, so that we... We don't get

1:32:00

messages. I believe, and this is a very, never

1:32:02

not funny sort of thing, but I believe the

1:32:05

guys over at Smart List call Peacock the Cock.

1:32:08

I believe they do. So

1:32:10

I don't want people to go, oh,

1:32:12

they've taken everything from us, Jimmy. We

1:32:14

can take one joke. We

1:32:18

talked about it last week. They

1:32:20

had Biden, Clinton, and Obama on.

1:32:23

Yeah. Wow. You

1:32:25

have me. Yeah. Nice. Sorry.

1:32:28

I've created a cartoon with a

1:32:31

secret. All

1:32:33

right, here's your question. I think scoop though. I mean, we're going

1:32:35

to get a lot of traffic just from you dropping that. Cool.

1:32:40

You got your Biden? Yes, sir. I didn't

1:32:42

get an answer from you. Steve, you got yours in magic, of

1:32:44

course? Yep. All right. In

1:32:46

Japan, there are one of these machines

1:32:48

for every 40 people. In

1:32:52

Japan, there are one of these

1:32:54

machines for every 40 people. I

1:32:58

don't think my answer is good, but I'm going to write it down. So

1:33:06

that's one per 40. So

1:33:10

keep that in mind. So that's like two for

1:33:12

every 80. Yeah. Think

1:33:14

about it. If I math, three for every

1:33:16

120, then by that math? Four for

1:33:18

every 160. We could do this all day. At least I

1:33:20

could. I won't. 10

1:33:23

for every 400. 10 for every 400. Yeah. 10

1:33:25

for every 400. Yeah. Right?

1:33:29

I was going to say, are there 40 people in this

1:33:31

building? There's not. No. No. How

1:33:34

many are in this building? As we speak. Let's

1:33:36

pretend they're here. Yeah. And

1:33:38

let's pretend they're here. So add those four. Okay. So

1:33:41

there's five in this room. That's nine. Are you expecting a

1:33:43

disaster? Are you trying to do a body count just in

1:33:45

case this building falls on us? I'm trying to see how

1:33:47

many machines from Japan would be in this building. I

1:33:50

can't get a read on this across the hall. We

1:33:52

only ever see Tyler and the other

1:33:54

guys. Sometimes there's a clown car and nine people file

1:33:57

out of it. There's probably more than a few people

1:33:59

in that office. I've seen three. I think

1:34:01

three. Let's call that three then. So we're up to

1:34:03

12. We're up to 12. We've got two

1:34:05

upstairs. Two up top. One

1:34:08

over here. So 15. Nope.

1:34:12

Not enough. Not enough. Japan's

1:34:14

not happy with this location. Could get maybe half of

1:34:16

a, maybe just the spare parts from another machine.

1:34:18

Yeah. Maybe we

1:34:20

can assemble it into something else.

1:34:22

Fold machine. Yeah. A retired

1:34:24

machine. I say machine because of

1:34:26

the character on the, not

1:34:28

8mm. Yeah. 8mm. I

1:34:31

think it was 8mm. Give me the character, give me the actor's name. Give

1:34:33

me the initials. Give me the initials of the actor. No,

1:34:35

no. The guy that says machine. Oh, oh shit. Oh,

1:34:38

machine. Yeah. U.P. Peter,

1:34:41

Peter. Sarsguard? No,

1:34:43

not, not, not Skolari. Stomari? Stomari.

1:34:47

Peter Stomari. Oh, the guy, yeah, the guy

1:34:49

from all the Coen Brothers movies. Or he was in a couple,

1:34:51

he was in Big Lebowski and. Well,

1:34:53

he went from all two. I know. I know.

1:34:56

Obviously he's not in all of them. That's crazy. I

1:34:58

mean, for a little while he was like, he was going

1:35:00

to put him, I think he was in Fargo. It was

1:35:02

really, it was interesting watching you go from confidence to spiraling

1:35:04

out. Yeah, nothing. I don't even know this guy.

1:35:06

You know what? You say it now, you know

1:35:09

it's known. You know what I saw him at the movie theater,

1:35:11

I wanted to watch him Blood Simple. That was what it was.

1:35:13

Was he in no country? I know he's in Big Lebowski and

1:35:15

I know he's in Fargo. Was he in no country for all

1:35:17

men? He had a good run, Peter

1:35:19

Stomari. He was in.

1:35:22

Is he still alive? Because you said

1:35:24

that like he's not. I think he still works.

1:35:26

I think he's still up there. Oh yeah, he was just,

1:35:28

yeah, he was in 1923. He was in

1:35:30

1923. The

1:35:32

TV show? Yeah. There's

1:35:34

another Harrison Ford vehicle? I don't know which,

1:35:36

isn't that him? Yeah. He's in one of them. I

1:35:39

don't know which year it is. I think it was a lot

1:35:41

of years. He was in Get Shorty. He was in. Get Shorty

1:35:43

the TV series or the movie? The

1:35:46

series actually. I'm not going back far

1:35:48

enough. He was the devil

1:35:50

in Constantine. Okay. Satan.

1:35:54

I want to know how many Coen brothers. I

1:35:56

got a scroll. We never get the answer. I will

1:35:58

tell you this in the meantime, just got an update from my

1:36:01

pharmacy, did not know

1:36:03

this was happening. My hep B vaccine is waiting for me.

1:36:05

Oh, apparently I got to go get my hep B vaccine.

1:36:07

I think that's just from being in the same room as

1:36:09

Steve. Yeah, you should. Yeah,

1:36:12

right? That's the same as that pizza place we take out. Somehow

1:36:15

we're live-streaming just to people that are relevant to

1:36:17

the show. I

1:36:19

guess, is that a certain age thing, hep B? I

1:36:22

don't know. Or is it a thing that we all

1:36:24

need to be getting now? I haven't received any notification

1:36:26

yet. I have not either. It

1:36:28

has helped to prevent hep A

1:36:30

B to liver disease. Oh. I

1:36:33

did drink a lot in the morning. Yeah,

1:36:35

you know what? Honestly, there's the

1:36:37

Venn diagram of comics and

1:36:39

livers and need this. Yeah,

1:36:42

so it's specific to it. Steve,

1:36:45

you were not a stranger to hanging out at

1:36:47

the improv and having a couple of cocktails back

1:36:49

in the day. No, absolutely. Would

1:36:51

you, like James R. Pardo Jr., would you? And I'm

1:36:53

not bragging when I say this. I'm embarrassed by this.

1:36:55

Would you get hammered there and then drive home? On

1:36:59

occasion. And it's a

1:37:01

miracle. Right? Yeah. Because

1:37:05

I was in Los Fils at the time, so it

1:37:07

was just nothing but roads, windy roads. And

1:37:10

yeah, there's an awareness

1:37:12

now. Yeah. I'm

1:37:14

sober. It'll be 25 years in July. I'm

1:37:17

drunk now. Oh, no. No, I'm not. You're on

1:37:19

the IV. That's not a good idea. Well, there's

1:37:21

bourbon in here. Oh, that's whatever your doctor recommends.

1:37:23

By the way, that, I just, man,

1:37:25

maybe I keep it one more day. Yeah?

1:37:28

Just to try that. That's not a bad idea. Just

1:37:30

like get one of those bag flasks, 360 milliliters.

1:37:35

That would kill me. All right, we'll go less

1:37:37

than that. Maybe not. OK, it's your call. Talk to your

1:37:39

doctor. It's always a message after your doctor. Maybe he's a

1:37:41

mixer. I don't know. Oh, yeah. And he

1:37:44

did not scream. Oh, yeah. Like saline and soda. Oh, that's

1:37:46

not a bad idea. That's nice. See, you

1:37:48

can be funny when you need to be. But

1:37:50

I need to be. Thank God. I

1:37:52

know your hat. You can be funny. Again,

1:37:54

I yell at the character, not at

1:37:57

the man. I want the list. I know the listener

1:37:59

knows that. earlier. That's right, I'm trying

1:38:01

to make it clear. So the outfit was

1:38:03

a character out there? Or was it... Oh,

1:38:05

I don't know what he's doing. He's the

1:38:07

guy selling fish on the corner. Salmon.

1:38:10

Specific. I'm paying attention. Comedy's about specific. He

1:38:12

loves the theme. You have to understand. Right,

1:38:14

but when I do that, I get this

1:38:17

son of a bitch. Supercuts has a sale

1:38:19

going on. I

1:38:21

don't know why I'm suddenly getting all these text messages

1:38:23

from these places. I gotta say, stop. All of them,

1:38:25

all caps, Garin. All right, let's take a

1:38:27

break. When we come back, we'll go around the horn. Let me tell you something.

1:38:29

Oh, Peter Stilbowski. Oh, Peter Stilbowski. Two

1:38:31

Coen Brothers. Okay. The aforementioned. Pete Glavowski and

1:38:34

Fargo. So just the two. He

1:38:36

was up for a party. You want to call that a run? They

1:38:40

went another way. They went Bardem for the No

1:38:42

Country for Old Men and Hookah Blaine went great.

1:38:44

Oh, he was fantastic in that movie. All

1:38:51

right, let's take a break. When we come back, we'll go

1:38:53

around the horn. We'll get everybody's answer to this question and

1:38:55

we'll find out what Garin and Elliot did over the weekend

1:38:57

as well. We'll do all that when we come back right

1:38:59

after this. Hey,

1:39:04

gang. Matt here with some dates for you. Steve

1:39:06

Marmel is on Twitter at Marmel. He got it.

1:39:08

He got the handle and he's using it right.

1:39:10

He's doing great stuff over there. Follow him, enjoy

1:39:12

him. That's where you want to check in with

1:39:14

him on all his stuff. Do that and then

1:39:17

once you're done with that, go to Jimmy's website,

1:39:19

jimmypato.com. He's got merch up there and

1:39:22

there's a sale going on. 10% off

1:39:24

of you. Use the code baseball to

1:39:26

check out his new merch at jimmypato.com

1:39:29

and then check him out. Pop Cultured on

1:39:31

April 13th at the UCB Theater in Hollywood

1:39:33

with Bobby Moynihan, Wayne Federman and Ashley Harrison as

1:39:35

the panelists. That's going to be super fun. After

1:39:38

that, April 20th, he is going to be at

1:39:40

Flappers in Burbank in the Yoo-Hoo room doing stand-up

1:39:43

set. May 30th, Cincinnati,

1:39:45

Ohio, Go Bananas, Cincinnati and

1:39:47

then May 31st, moving on to Limestone

1:39:50

Comedy Festival. That is in Bloomington,

1:39:52

Indiana. Never Not Funny is also

1:39:54

live at the Limestone Comedy Festival.

1:39:57

That's Jean First. I'll be there with

1:39:59

Jimmy doing Never Not Funny. Honey and Edu Second,

1:40:01

were doing another live never not funny

1:40:03

at Denny's in Rosemont Chicago land area.

1:40:05

Professor they're not doing so. Check us

1:40:07

out, There are finally! Don't forget l

1:40:09

Hope Birds or maybe you're doing this

1:40:11

for the first time. Ellie Hookers doing

1:40:13

another improvised Twilight Zone episode episode shout

1:40:15

at the Emperor Theater on April Twelfth,

1:40:17

seven Pm. Gonna be super fun! I've

1:40:19

heard great things about the last on

1:40:21

have we like and make this one?

1:40:23

Ah so yeah. get on over there

1:40:25

to the Emperor Theater imported or.com for

1:40:27

tickets and more info and just for

1:40:30

imperfect. Or in general you cannot be can

1:40:32

support them by gone to web sites and

1:40:34

up in a bicycle even if you can't

1:40:36

make it because they could use the supports

1:40:38

our money to do that and and just.

1:40:42

He. I've said before me to say it again:

1:40:44

Matt: life does not happen bi weekly. that's true. So

1:40:46

my sister paid him a man. Who. Does

1:40:48

what it's like did happen bi weekly how

1:40:50

would that look? I guess you take the

1:40:52

trash out less because it only beating and

1:40:54

automatically a sneaky trash men gathered that wouldn't

1:40:56

work at all. I'm I'm That's as an

1:40:59

example of why the having a day be

1:41:01

bi weekly is crazy like with nothing should

1:41:03

be on schedule. I. Think you should

1:41:05

be easy, get paid and then be able to

1:41:07

put your check stop right in the recycling to

1:41:09

be taken out once a week with the garbage.

1:41:11

Thank you You're welcome like us at wrap that

1:41:14

I do ah early in can help you do

1:41:16

all of that. I then I can take a

1:41:18

treasure for you know as because they would know

1:41:20

they're going to do that yourself. They're gonna help

1:41:22

you get money in your hands today. yes earn

1:41:24

it is an app by the way mat or

1:41:27

that gives you access your pays you work on

1:41:29

two hundred hours per day up to seven hundred

1:41:31

fifty bucks per pay period or you have to

1:41:33

do is download the. Earn an app and verify your

1:41:35

paycheck then access of two hundred hours a day as

1:41:37

I mentioned as you work and leave it up your

1:41:39

tip. Any. Money you access plus

1:41:41

tips are automatically repaid from your next

1:41:43

paycheck. right? To is

1:41:46

a good easy, easy easy Pc. So

1:41:48