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conditions apply. See site for details. Hello,

1:03

everyone, fellow time travelers. I've

1:05

elected to interview another

1:08

fascinating inspirational person

1:10

full of information and insight. I

1:13

will say right off the top this

1:16

moment that if I was a character in

1:19

A. A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh, I'd be

1:21

Eeyore. I'm an Eeyore-ish

1:23

person. I'm pessimistic by

1:25

nature and fortunately I'm married to

1:27

somebody who's optimistic by nature and

1:30

she carries me along but my life

1:33

is punctuated by moments

1:35

where I feel desperate need of

1:38

contact with someone that

1:40

I hope, that I hope each time, can

1:44

lift my head up and

1:46

encourage me to look towards the sunlit

1:48

uplands, you know, because left to

1:51

my own devices, you

1:53

know, I tend to look towards shadows

1:55

and I'm aware that that's not entirely

1:58

healthy for a person. So with

2:01

that in mind, I came

2:03

up with today's guest, Dr. Ahmed Malat.

2:05

Now, he and I met, we were

2:07

introduced by a mutual friend, a dear

2:10

friend, and we met for

2:12

the first time in a restaurant in

2:14

London. And we just clicked,

2:17

you know, just one of those ways.

2:19

We're both Scottish people brought up in

2:21

the west of Scotland. Ahmed's

2:23

a bit younger than me, but, you know,

2:25

we've had a kind of a bit of background

2:27

in common, which

2:29

all obviously oils the wheels

2:32

of conversation. And we've

2:34

stayed in touch ever since. Ahmed

2:37

had a long story of, during

2:39

the last four years, as have we all, that he's

2:42

had his own road to walk, his

2:44

own furrow to plough, and we'll certainly get into

2:46

a bit of that. But really, as I say,

2:49

as an eeyore, I

2:51

know that Ahmed has had time to

2:54

take a big picture view, a

2:56

helicopter view of the things that are going on,

2:58

and he's evolving a better way

3:00

of looking at health and the mental attitude to,

3:03

you know, how we approach life. So let's get

3:05

into it. Good

3:11

morning to you, Dr. Ahmed

3:14

Malat. Good morning. Good

3:16

morning. That's a great

3:18

introduction. You know, I'm just looking at your

3:21

beard, actually. I'm looking at your

3:23

beard and thinking, why did I shave? I actually

3:25

grew my beard at it. And

3:27

I'm just thinking, I look like a brand Malteser. I

3:32

just look like a polished, brown ball.

3:37

And I think... You're very smooth. I

3:39

was saying to my wife, I might never shave again. Now

3:43

that I've gone bearded for as long,

3:45

I may never expose my chin to

3:47

the elements again. Wow. So

3:49

what do you think of this theory? Some people

3:51

say, because I've shaved off on my hair

3:53

and it's bald up here, I should grow out

3:55

the beard. You should have one or the other.

3:57

So you and I are both actually the same.

4:00

because you've grown out your hair and the beard

4:02

and maybe it should be one or the other.

4:06

Well, do you know, I

4:09

was clean shaven for all my life. Well,

4:12

I mean, I've had, you know, period, you

4:14

know, sometimes you just think, oh, I'll think

4:16

I'll grow a goatee, see what it looks

4:18

like, you know, experiments that don't last very

4:20

well. But during the first lockdown, I

4:22

grew a goatee for something to do with

4:25

one of my little side hobbies. I

4:27

can imagine with a goatee, I think

4:29

you'd be like an Alfonso or Ricardo,

4:31

you know, one of these

4:34

medieval Spanish aristocrats. I

4:36

can picture that. Oh, nice. With

4:38

the collar, you know, the goatee,

4:40

the collar, the tights.

4:42

Maybe a rough, I could wear a

4:45

rough, like someone from the Spanish

4:47

Armada. That's it. So, this

4:49

is exactly what I was after, you see,

4:51

I knew you would lift my spirits and

4:53

you have done already. But just

4:55

for, you know, I'm sure many,

4:58

many people will be familiar with your face.

5:01

Like a polished Maltese or as it may

5:03

or may not be.

5:06

But many people on

5:09

my, maybe in my audience might not have run

5:11

across you yet. Just

5:13

give us what I know we've got, we've

5:15

got only a certain amount of time and

5:17

your story is a long and convoluted one

5:19

with many twists and turns. But I

5:22

thought maybe you could just give us the

5:24

headlines of exactly what unfolded for

5:26

you during the last four years

5:28

that begin to explain why you

5:30

and I are now chums. I

5:33

promise you I will. But first of all, I just want

5:35

to say I think you're a much better husband than I

5:37

am. Because last week, my

5:40

wife, Kat, turned around and said, leave

5:42

the beard. The only part, the

5:44

only opinion that matters is mine. And I

5:46

still want to have that. What did you

5:48

do? I'm

5:52

going to go to that. I'm going to go. You're going to notice now

5:54

I'm going to have a bit of a, you know, trimmed beard. I'm going

5:56

to do it. Yeah,

6:00

because I'm learning from you, so you're a much

6:02

better husband than me. Anyway, so

6:04

what about me? God,

6:06

I was a very normie

6:09

life orthopedic surgeon and yeah,

6:12

Covid hit just before

6:14

that Brexit. I mean, we just had some

6:16

weird times, you know, every single time we

6:18

say, God, the world is getting very polarized.

6:20

It just gets even more polarized just when

6:23

you think you couldn't get any more polarized.

6:25

And so yeah, Covid came

6:28

about, you know, I'm this orthopedic surgeon.

6:30

Who's very disillusioned with the NHS. I

6:33

was in the NHS for, you know, over

6:35

20 years and it just didn't

6:38

make sense to me where we were going,

6:40

the trajectory, the deterioration, the decline. And

6:42

there was a lie. It was not about

6:44

keeping people healthy. It was just

6:47

keeping people sick and dependent. And

6:49

was this before, were you already

6:51

thinking like that before the, let's

6:53

say, the medical interventions came

6:56

travelling along towards us? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

6:58

This is like from like 2012 onwards. You

7:01

know, I'm a consultant and now, you know, when you're

7:03

a junior doctor, you're just basically

7:05

the hamster and the hamster wheel, you know, you're trying

7:07

to beat off the competition, you're trying to get to

7:09

that prize, which is to be

7:11

a consultant. So

7:14

you don't really pay much attention to

7:16

anything else. And even through

7:18

med school, you just you just

7:20

go for exam after exam, exam,

7:22

learn this, learn that. That's only

7:24

when the science that you look back and go, God,

7:28

med school was really funny. That was a

7:30

bit weird. We didn't get taught really

7:32

a lot of important things

7:34

like nutrition, like diet, like

7:36

sleep, like how to

7:39

exercise or even one lecture

7:41

in physiotherapy or what's in

7:43

the vaccine or anything about a vaccine

7:45

or anything like that. We weren't taught

7:47

anything about the history of medicine and

7:49

how we've really done some crazy stuff

7:51

in the past, like sticking needles up

7:54

people's brains and scrambling them or giving

7:56

them arsenic and mercury for a cold

7:58

and a flu. Like

8:00

that with we didn't get taught anything we

8:02

got taught. You're amazing is a top. Of.

8:04

Society The Cream A society. Things

8:07

go wrong. We don't know why. Here to drug

8:09

in his a tablet? Here's an operation. On.

8:11

Am. And I'm We just kind of

8:13

accepted it. But. I was questioning

8:15

thinking why do these things happen? Why do

8:18

people. Get. Rheumatoid arthritis, Yeah.

8:20

I just got us off the phone some com

8:22

Michael Rosen is the me a guest my podcast

8:24

who had scoliosis. And. He he wants to

8:27

talk of s why he got it he thinks and how

8:29

you can see to it. And. It

8:31

was fascinating because. Again, as an

8:33

orthopedic surgeon, scoliosis is a big thing. Straightening

8:35

the spine, you know, You.

8:38

Don't get top y de get scoliosis

8:40

not we never get told why is

8:42

all that are we don't know, we

8:44

don't know or even better it's your

8:46

fault is in your genes. So

8:48

the whole medical paradigm is a

8:50

bit strange, but you don't really

8:52

question it because you're forced into

8:54

the so narrow vision of exams career.

8:57

Her dog jumped through ba ba

8:59

ba. And see get to

9:01

the point where consultant a nice illegal of

9:03

it breathing space. There is no rat race,

9:05

There are no more core Am exams. And

9:08

you're not getting in touch with the managers

9:10

and now headed the department and you're going

9:12

to go to the meetings and you listening

9:14

to their conversations. As. Like

9:16

Orwellian Doublespeak. In.

9:18

A will put patients at the center

9:21

of tear and then the whole meeting

9:23

is about how we're going to get

9:25

patients of the waiting lists and deny

9:27

them treatment and care and save money

9:29

and like. This. Is complete inverse

9:31

and what were many be doing. And

9:34

it and damn it just went on

9:36

like that psycho. Really disillusioned with the

9:38

Nhs, I realized that it more than

9:40

three anymore. Am it was actually

9:43

taxpayers' money and a lot of it.

9:45

I realized that is not strapped for

9:47

cash as I say rolling around in

9:49

cash as the ultimate cash cow for

9:51

corporations. And it's just a

9:53

vehicle of extracting well from us and

9:55

giving to Big Pharma. And

9:58

them. Consultancy Forms. I'm

10:00

and I was really upset because. I

10:03

am not process of about two dozen, sixteen to

10:05

than seventy. My dad was diagnosed with cancer a

10:07

dying of cancer and that's when I had my

10:09

wake up call and my dad was like look

10:11

at you, you're fat, you're overweight, your hypertensive, your

10:13

diabetic son. You are six days a week. You

10:15

don't know your wife or your kids. What a day of a

10:17

dying man. Start your shop and

10:19

I'm. In I was

10:21

like wow yeah and you know, typical

10:23

Glaswegian straight talking. As

10:26

I am I doing I am

10:28

Sam overweight or fatty liver and

10:30

I'm diabetic and my. Daughter's.

10:32

Tell me to take Metformin and I

10:35

learned a consultant says you should know

10:37

better. Right

10:39

Foot. You know that die

10:42

pathologist himself as overweight is

10:44

himself on metformin and eating

10:46

doughnuts. You know what?

10:49

I'm trans. His people had this idea

10:51

of doctors being on the pedestal and

10:53

being the fan to no knowledge and

10:55

being so smart. Really? Click

10:57

them. And am you just need

10:59

to go to local? Most don't look at the

11:01

average doctor. Nurse. To. Overweight or

11:03

not healthy, Felix dressed. And

11:06

and I was thinking about this. I had to

11:09

not be telling. People. About had to be

11:11

sent Unhealthy. When. I'm not

11:13

walking the walk. And. Then

11:15

alike. but I don't know how to

11:17

because everything I've been told. I'm.

11:19

Doing in a low fat. Minimize.

11:22

Meat. And. Am. You

11:25

know, at them the fat milk and the butter

11:27

and all I can. the stuff. And.

11:29

I exercise at the gym and

11:31

I'm on the treadmill. I'm

11:34

I'm like this point more me. I'm doing everything

11:36

they tell me to do. And

11:39

that's when. I think the big

11:41

realization shop for me was the actually

11:43

so much of what we are tall

11:45

and told public on the doctors. Is.

11:47

Wrong. And.

11:49

Then actually when I started turn my health rider

11:51

my wife and I lost a ton of way.

11:54

And. We I reverse my diabetes, my

11:57

buttons or must I deliver? I

11:59

might might. The store so much was rock

12:01

bottom is now back to normal. He.

12:03

Knows I feel stronger now than at any

12:06

point my life. He. Likes if you

12:08

ask me. The. Eighteen year old to run

12:10

Ten K cross country have the last argue. Now.

12:13

I can do it without any bother Toe and after

12:15

this. Every. Lit of the my

12:17

my rask guard on a mosque digits a

12:19

class. That's why I need go at twelve

12:21

because I have to. My weekly session with

12:23

the Wise Couples Therapy were returned strangle each

12:26

other. And. You

12:28

know I've discovered what it means to be healthy

12:30

and have is to be healthy. I'm not Crazy

12:32

thing is I'm teaching this to my five year

12:34

old son. Son.

12:37

He think most I can see system my

12:39

five your son we to teach this to

12:41

all five year olds in the country and

12:43

this would mean sure that the whole nation

12:45

would be healthy. Strong.

12:47

Sit. Wire.

12:49

The not doing that. I'm it had

12:51

you him. But soon soon bucks you

12:53

embark you had this you had just

12:55

a dumb as soon as you know

12:57

moments. That before any

13:00

of the you know who.

13:03

Will. Unite of things to consider us

13:05

to crisis the madness of the last

13:07

he will since of a of of

13:09

twenty nineteen twenty twenty the month to

13:12

sit seem to envelop everyone on planet

13:14

earth. Yeah. Super Super! By

13:16

the time that happens you had already

13:18

hired this. I'm overweight of get diabetes.

13:20

I've got a fatty liver. I should

13:22

be doing some. See what already will

13:24

not pass. The app for

13:26

your own personal reasons before global

13:28

events began to yep play up.

13:30

Yep, Hundred percent. On

13:32

have sent and the more I looked and to the

13:34

more I saw. The. Corruption and

13:37

the sailings. So. I

13:39

realized that medical school training was actually

13:41

just indoctrination. I. Realized that

13:43

Big Pharma had this incredibly

13:45

unhealthy influence. On. The medical

13:48

profession. I've been involved in research and I've

13:50

seen a first hand. And. At the

13:52

time as I was just localized. Professors.

13:54

You know, on the list as be honest

13:56

there were just lying. but figure so there's

13:59

for example, I've do a test com and

14:01

call to patients who had surgery and I

14:03

would scored them based in the answers she

14:05

got. Score at one hundred and if you're

14:07

eighteen apart that meant you're a good result.

14:10

Act. Excellent result of those seventy and

14:12

above is good result and you know goes

14:14

down and down and and and when I

14:16

told the professor the results of these this

14:18

study and how they weren't that great. Am.

14:21

And I last image onto another job I

14:23

would. I then was surprised when I saw

14:25

the paper was published. Without. My name

14:27

on it. And. What?

14:30

They had done was you know they had

14:32

just moved the Scar score chart so that

14:34

now instead of being eighteen abbas to get

14:36

Exxon you just need to be six in

14:38

above to gags on and so on zone.

14:40

So yes, discourse are still the same, but

14:42

neither category was shifted and suddenly they were

14:44

like, oh, this operation has excellent five year

14:46

results and. An

14:48

amp my name is not the paper to not

14:50

not unlike, not not not terribly on lately when

14:52

which that when s have recently. Applied

14:56

new mastery to calculate excess deaths And

14:58

lo and behold, Tom, those. Who

15:00

have nothing to worry about it?

15:03

because? sort of. Yeah. so The

15:05

Sicilian fetus. algorithmic manipulation of numbers.

15:07

Yeah. I call a statistical juggle we you know insisted

15:10

to to do and they just you know and sleight

15:12

of hand and the sun that. And

15:14

I'm in a is a great

15:16

to to disease and misinform in

15:18

it's very powerful tool but. Along

15:21

with things like modeling enough he pit

15:23

garbage and you get garbage. Yeah, so

15:25

am. I know it's not just

15:27

that one instance. In I saw have big

15:29

farm on companies were. Influencing.

15:32

People funding. Ships. Abroad.

15:34

you know it goes on and on. And

15:37

then I also saw have you know

15:39

people would make a name for themselves

15:41

promoting a certain procedures, dog or intervention.

15:43

A How average their whole existence you know,

15:46

was based on that. And a lot of

15:48

people build this idea of. Am.

15:50

research publications and being an authority figure

15:52

so they can get private practice two

15:55

people come to them for their medical

15:57

reports of their the expert witness and

15:59

they or people seek them out and

16:01

they charge a fortune. So a lot of it is

16:03

driven by money, ego, reputation,

16:06

and big pharma, influences,

16:08

medical journals, meetings,

16:11

associations, and

16:13

governments now. The corruption

16:15

is quite massive and I think people don't

16:17

really understand, but I saw that. I saw

16:19

that. And what I was really upset

16:21

about was the fact that I had managers telling me

16:23

how to practice. So one of the things

16:26

that I remember as a junior, junior doctor, was one

16:28

of my professors who was almost close to retirement saying,

16:30

Amad, the managers, be

16:33

wary of the managers. They're trying to

16:35

take away our autonomy. We

16:37

are surgeons. We are not just

16:40

technicians, Amad. We decide, we

16:42

think, we plan, and

16:45

never let anyone take that away from you,

16:47

otherwise it will make you little monkey technicians.

16:50

Anyone can operate. You can train a monkey

16:52

to do an operation. We aren't

16:54

monkeys. We're surgeons because we think,

16:56

we think. I'll never forget that

16:59

conversation. At

17:01

the Glasgow Western Fermi. That's exactly

17:03

what happens. The managers and the guidelines

17:08

and the protocols have made all

17:11

doctors, not just surgeons, into little

17:14

monkey technicians. And they

17:16

just follow the orders. They follow

17:18

the protocols. I had

17:20

this GP, this retired GP, Rachel,

17:23

tell me, you know, a meeting where I

17:25

was giving a talk. You're absolutely right, Amad. I've just retired.

17:27

And she goes, you know, when a

17:29

patient is ready to come into my room,

17:31

I get a little pop-up on my window just before I

17:33

call the patient in. And the pop-up comes up. This

17:36

patient is not on statins. Make sure they're

17:38

prescribed on statins. Pop-up, again, oh, make sure

17:40

this patient's on a proton pump inhibitor. Pop-up,

17:42

make sure this patient's on an ACE inhibitor.

17:45

And she goes, I don't even know why this patient's coming in

17:47

to see me, but I have to make sure by the time

17:49

they leave, they're on these drugs. And if

17:51

I don't give them these drugs,

17:53

then I'm not hitting my targets. And I'm not

17:55

hitting my targets. The practice doesn't make money. My

17:58

partners call me up and my partner to say why

18:00

are you not prescribing these drugs? Why are you

18:02

not hitting the targets? We're all losing money as

18:05

a practice because of you. So

18:07

there's pressure, peer pressure to comply and just

18:09

get the goddamn tablet. I mean, what the

18:11

hell? Just the tablet. And

18:13

if you don't, the next step is you

18:16

start getting referred for investigations. Like, well, you

18:18

know, your practice is a bit unusual. You're not

18:20

doing what everybody else is doing, Rachel.

18:23

You know, you're not prescribing it. You know,

18:25

you're missing the diagnosis. You need some retraining.

18:28

So you kind of get herded and

18:31

funneled into just doing what everyone else

18:33

is doing. And

18:35

why are they going on statins? I

18:37

mean, that's a complete nonsense. Cholesterol is

18:39

life. It's the brick of life. You're

18:41

building block of your body. But

18:43

you know what? Get rid of cholesterol. And what

18:47

people don't realize also is cholesterol is literally the

18:50

building block. So it then goes into lots

18:53

of other things, hormones, sex hormones, cell membranes,

18:55

you name it. So when you

18:57

block that cholesterol

18:59

statin, that statin, it blocks everything

19:02

downstream, which is why you then get the

19:04

plethora of side effects and complications. And

19:07

so this whole and the whole paradigm of old cholesterol is

19:09

bad. It's just complete nonsense. It's garbage. It's not

19:11

science. But big pharma and the medical

19:14

profession has sold it to you and everyone. And we've

19:16

all been brainwashing to thinking that's the right thing. And

19:18

that's just the tip of the iceberg. You've

19:20

got PPE, PPR and antidepressants and vaccines

19:23

and God as well. Just

19:26

to excavate a little into

19:29

some of the background or

19:31

the history of what you're saying, what

19:34

effect was all of this having on you?

19:36

I mean, let me assure you, I will

19:38

get away from my EOR-ish tendencies. But first

19:41

of all, I think, I

19:43

know because I've spoken and

19:45

confided in one another. And

19:48

because of what you are and who

19:50

you are, a consultant surgeon, which as you say,

19:52

is a kind of figure that people that are

19:54

definitely holding high regard and you

19:56

know, as a pillar of the society and of the

19:59

community. I'm very interested to

20:01

know what your awakening and

20:03

your realizations that you're describing,

20:06

what was that doing to you in your life?

20:11

Okay, I'm going to be honest and

20:14

it sounds terrible when I hear it

20:16

but this little bramble teaser was just

20:18

worried about himself and his family and

20:21

just staying happy. I wasn't happy

20:23

in the NHS, I found it very stressful, all

20:25

the targets, the lack of autonomy and I just

20:28

wanted to be happy, I wanted to be healthy.

20:30

So I left the NHS so I could get control

20:32

back and treat patients the way I would treat my

20:35

family and that's all I cared about. I

20:37

wanted to treat patients like my family and I

20:39

loved my job, loved my job. I

20:41

loved fixing ankle fractures and helping

20:44

people but actually as I got

20:46

healthier myself, my practice changed. So

20:48

I found that actually I could avoid surgery in so

20:51

many cases, I was only operating on 5% of patients

20:53

in the last few years because actually now

20:55

instead of saying, oh, so tell me about your ankle pain,

20:58

I'd start off with, tell me about

21:00

your sleep, do you

21:02

have much stress in your life? What's your diet like? What's

21:04

your nutrition like? And

21:08

then tell me about your ankle and I realized that everything

21:10

was linked, everything was linked because guess

21:12

what, if you have chronic sleep deprivation and

21:15

poor sleep, you don't heal, you don't recover, you

21:17

have higher pain, it just

21:19

goes on and on and on and we've all got aches

21:21

and pains and bits of degeneration but why

21:24

did some people do just fine with that

21:26

degeneration and some people don't? And

21:28

I've been through my fair share, I've

21:30

had two spinal surgeries, emergency spinal surgeries,

21:33

wrist operations, I've lived with chronic pain

21:35

for 10 years, I've been on opioids,

21:37

I know the whole system. So

21:40

anyway, I started treating patients

21:42

like how I recovered and I saw

21:45

my patients were doing really well,

21:47

doing well and there's no bigger buzz,

21:49

Neil. When a patient texts you and

21:51

I'm still getting them now, although it's now tinted

21:54

with a bit of sadness, when I get a message

21:57

saying, oh, I'm here since you operated on me and

21:59

look at me. Just man raise and I got

22:01

this med one. Thank you so much. And I love

22:03

you so much. I'll never forgive youths as I

22:05

forget use and I'll always be grateful to you.

22:08

As a I'm in whisking up. To that can

22:11

a message asked You feel like a superhero. Assists:

22:14

amazing am. So.

22:16

I last went private as really happy

22:18

to those now working to nasty days

22:21

a week. I was earning enough

22:23

to have a comfortable life. Not a rich life, but

22:25

a comfortable one. My kids go to state school. We.

22:27

Have second hand cars, You know we

22:29

don't have a lavish lifestyle. Small cottage.

22:32

And and else happy with us. And I realized

22:34

that. The pursuit of happiness is. Being.

22:36

Content and not wanting more and more because

22:39

all my colleagues when the say cause in

22:41

the bag cars in the private schools and/holidays

22:43

i mean our mean last year someone told

22:45

me that went to the mall these and

22:47

you know spend twenty five thousand pounds and

22:49

a holiday and I almost choked to death

22:52

was I was. In. assuming.

22:54

But if you're going to have that lifestyle,

22:56

you need to generate the worked and you

22:58

need to convert the patience and than the

23:01

stress that. Comes with us. So for me

23:03

I was really happy I was not an

23:05

activist or did not want. To be

23:07

in the public eye or they want to be going

23:09

Saving the world. I just wanted

23:11

to do what I to do which is

23:13

treat patients the way I would treat my

23:15

family. Am. And.

23:17

Then we. Went. And code. And

23:23

then world, the world turned on

23:25

it's axis. Lose the nexus. Yeah

23:28

and what was it was as equals

23:30

you. What was it that use you

23:32

said? A new energy. What

23:35

was the door that you will

23:37

one day that seems to do

23:39

with your profession perceived and to

23:42

teach you. Could.

23:46

It would you do. I did you. How did you

23:48

cause it to? Seems.

23:52

I think goes back to when I was

23:54

I see a consultant. Am.

23:57

I. Was unhappy know I went in there

23:59

together. English and within a

24:01

few months. Am. I'm senior

24:03

consults came up to me. In

24:05

My office. Shut The Door. Said. Ahmed know what

24:08

he doing. Of. I can we talk much?

24:11

As I am ahmed. You. Know you're

24:13

watching crazy you're doing these parallel

24:15

less. You know what? Parallel list as. Know.

24:19

Okay, so you know normally surgeons

24:21

go into an operating theatre. Am

24:24

there any city spends anywhere from half an hour

24:26

to an hour and nice attacking the patient and

24:28

that's all done to have good. Then he said

24:31

as. A lot of them are

24:33

not very good. Can't find of the

24:35

can you lend the blood says so

24:37

stressed fasting around people don't realize. Am.

24:40

Addicted. The great makes a huge difference that

24:42

the expertise or someone so you can you

24:44

know asserting his spine or a block it

24:46

could be spending ages because it did not.

24:48

Very good. The technically no record so and

24:51

I eat as a surgeon you to be

24:53

waiting an hour for the patient to just

24:55

simply come into the. Operating. Peter

24:57

from the anesthetic when. Then. When

24:59

they get into the operating theatre yes

25:01

to prepare the patient, clean them, draped

25:03

them, and start operation and again. It's

25:06

not care for that to take another hafner. The.

25:08

Oppression itself is only. Maybe.

25:10

Half an hour To an hour. And then you

25:12

close up and then they have to clean the

25:14

theater and that takes another half an hour to

25:16

an hour depending on who's doing it. And

25:19

you get them to censor the patient depending on the

25:21

border and have faster walking that to take god knows

25:23

how long. And. Then the whole thing

25:25

starts all over again. So. That. Down

25:28

Time as a search and as masses.

25:30

In. Atlanta loves. The doctors will go to the

25:33

coffee room and the doctors it will do

25:35

their private practice you know, correspondence letters, baba.

25:38

But. I didn't. I. Didn't why

25:40

I came up with was lit. When.

25:42

I start closing the wound. My.

25:45

Junior can take over. And. i'm

25:47

going to go next door to the other

25:49

theater where then he says has taken an

25:51

hour to get a patient sleep no patience

25:53

now ready i will walk and do the

25:56

operation while i'm doing that they're they're getting

25:58

my patient a cleaning the theater bringing in

26:00

the next one. And

26:02

by the time I finish the second

26:04

operation, I can walk back into the first theater

26:06

and the patient's ready for me. And so I

26:08

would go backwards and forwards. Two

26:11

anesthetists, two theater teams, and I

26:13

was churning at the work. 10,

26:16

12 operations in a day. Like, and the

26:18

waiting list. But

26:21

then my colleague came in and went, what are you doing?

26:24

I went, what are you talking about? He goes, why are you working so hard?

26:27

I was like, I'm getting rid of the waiting list. He

26:30

went, no, no, I'm doing, you're

26:32

doing this all wrong. You're doing this all back to

26:34

front. I'm like, what are

26:36

you talking about? Like, you're gonna

26:38

overwork yourself. You're gonna just burn

26:40

out. Like, you keep a waiting

26:43

list so you can have

26:45

leverage over the managers. And

26:47

you build up enough waiting lists and then

26:49

people will come to you in the private

26:51

sector. And those that can't pay

26:53

for you, the managers will send

26:55

to the private hostels and pay you to

26:57

operate on them over there. Everyone's

27:00

happy. You're just

27:02

a stripped in the way things are done. And

27:05

you're making us all look bad because

27:08

we are not doing what you're doing. And

27:12

I was like, oh

27:15

my goodness. Oh

27:18

my goodness, is this how it works?

27:22

I could say much more, but I don't want to.

27:25

It gets quite dark. I don't want you to get in a

27:27

dark mood. And I mean, no,

27:30

and you have one

27:32

way or another, you are not in that world anymore. That

27:36

whole, your evolution has taken you

27:38

from the world of consultant surgeon

27:41

to a completely different

27:43

place. Yeah,

27:47

I don't think, I mean, I

27:50

definitely jumped before I was pushed. There

27:52

were obviously the world around me

27:54

was closing in, but

27:57

I think what it was is you

27:59

cannot be an assistant. them while criticizing

28:01

it and exposing all the flaws

28:03

and lies. The people

28:05

in that system will not tolerate

28:07

it because you're casting them

28:09

in a bad light. So

28:12

sooner or later you're gonna have to either

28:14

exit or be pushed out. So that's

28:17

what happened. So yeah

28:19

I'm very upset with my

28:22

medical profession and colleagues because

28:25

going back to the last few crazy years

28:27

I think we've seen how

28:30

medical ethics have been completely

28:32

demolished. But the reality is it

28:34

wasn't the last few years that did it.

28:37

All the last few years did, Neil,

28:39

was exposed what was already there. People

28:42

today are not really getting informed

28:44

consent. People today don't

28:46

have bodily autonomy. People today

28:48

are being misled by doctors

28:51

who don't actually say the oath. I never

28:53

said the Hippocratic oath. I never went through

28:55

university and had to say that. And

28:58

this whole premise of first do no harm is

29:00

a complete nonsense. It's nonsensical. You know I am

29:02

I'll read it out to you. Let me just

29:05

minimize this window. So this is

29:07

a clip of what I was

29:11

saying on the James Delling

29:13

podcast and one of my listeners

29:15

printed it out and did a meme. So

29:18

when they, they've been the doctors,

29:20

when they say first do no

29:23

harm, what they actually

29:25

mean is do

29:27

no harm to my license. Do no

29:29

harm to my income. Apparently do no

29:31

harm to my reputation. Oh God no. Do no

29:33

harm to my standing in the community. Do

29:36

no harm to my career. Do no

29:38

harm to my mistress. Do no harm

29:40

to my holidays. Do no harm to

29:42

my kids private schooling. And maybe,

29:45

maybe then if it comes down to

29:47

it do no harm to

29:49

my patients but only

29:52

if I'm sticking to the guidelines. That's

29:56

what's The reality of the

29:58

situation we live in today. Which

30:00

I mean other as early as a consumer

30:03

of that product which is the Nhs as

30:05

houghtaling to listen to at the I mean

30:07

obviously over the last few years via conversations

30:09

with yourself and others of the of more

30:12

than had this assists of more than had

30:14

the Cotton Drawn by a minutes you know

30:16

what you're saying knows of of of have

30:19

some of this you know from you and

30:21

from I'm from others I'm I'm well aware

30:23

but for what I want to ask was

30:25

own to get to his you mentioned deadly

30:28

of that the you had already evolve the.

30:30

Situation for you would only actually

30:32

such a clean air the would

30:34

only operate and five percent. So.

30:37

That so that ninety five percent of of

30:39

the people that you would helping you for

30:41

helping in ways that would moon such it'll

30:43

and. Quite interested in

30:45

is it clearly know because of

30:47

with you find yourself and the

30:49

circumstances in which you have yourself

30:51

act as you see and you'd

30:53

you'd do jumped would rather than

30:55

rather than. Week. To

30:57

be crushed and so on.

31:00

Users these evolved that ninety

31:02

five percent. Means. Of.

31:05

Helping suing people or or or

31:07

meet people health in the first

31:09

place. And that's that's

31:11

the that's a bright light. It's too

31:13

hot. Switch I would like to walk.

31:15

You know, fun of sense. Of

31:18

what is that whole islam that you have

31:20

that you have and of suits and that

31:22

you know offering. You hundred

31:24

percent less to the anam in I have

31:26

of going to become a had that need

31:28

to write and get published and it's gonna

31:30

as and happen.malik Simple that and health and

31:32

and as anyone. That's.

31:35

Me just. About what

31:37

I'm saying desperately let me touch and thus.

31:40

Snail how many doctors to think or in the

31:42

Uk? Registered. With the

31:44

T and jam. same ruff. Oh

31:46

okay doing a general practitioners until

31:48

a million people some so at

31:50

some stuff every doctor has got

31:52

a license. To a

31:54

I would imagine that tens of thousands.

31:58

Something like three hundred and seventy seven. Now.

32:01

With three hundred and seventy thousand

32:04

people city sometimes thousand wealth. To.

32:07

Scrupulous googling google permanently were wrestling the Gmc.

32:09

I mean some might not be working, some

32:11

my been pharma, some might be there, some

32:13

of that. but you know every something like

32:15

they're in some seven squat lot which says

32:17

lot. The that sounds like yes that's

32:19

like an order of magnitude up for was

32:22

expecting would be out of not contemplate to

32:24

that question before That far as you might

32:26

seem like three hundred. Listen, make it three

32:28

hundred fifty thousand might magic that three and

32:30

fifty thousand doctors. You'd. Imagine

32:32

the be quite a wide variety

32:34

of salts opinions and beliefs in

32:37

that group. Yes, Yes,

32:41

What? He said such as even Osiris.

32:43

even if there's a minority, that minority view

32:45

would still be probably in the tens of

32:47

thousands. Yes of other I would expect to

32:50

get a range of opinions about posting sport

32:52

to be. Right So

32:54

now sink back. How many doctors

32:56

do you know in the Uk?

32:58

He. Has spoken against the

33:01

official government matters regarding.

33:04

The. Last few years. Well

33:07

and Yamuna I'm enough. Zarif Zaidi almost

33:09

unique situation. As you know I'm an

33:11

active part in a species on social

33:13

twitter species and sword with which specifically

33:16

a trots att yeah on trump any

33:18

dissenting voices so I'm sure we're talking

33:20

about from has sorts of i never

33:22

recognize that we talk as a seat

33:25

as a C I a hot little

33:27

that I'm a handful of people which

33:29

will be men on were dissenting voices

33:31

and the vast majority of people have

33:34

had. Yet. So we talking

33:36

back in the Uk only yuki doctors.

33:38

Would. Have meant less than ten. Somewhere between

33:41

five and ten. Oh yes, Who you

33:43

are going against? say official government, not

33:45

as and speaking publicly. That. Was

33:47

the whole laws of probability? Sas.

33:49

Impossible. You. Cannot have that

33:51

small a number of people. Disagreeing.

33:55

As three Hundred fifty thousand and three and a sense

33:57

thousand people. That. Means that there is

33:59

a sizeable chunk. People. He.

34:01

Also agree with what we're saying but

34:03

are not saying it. Than.

34:05

That begs the question. Why are they not saying.

34:08

And. I'll tell you why. Because.

34:10

Of that first, do no harm. Their

34:12

too scared to say something because

34:15

in know. They. Will what will happen

34:17

to them though either get refer to the Gmc.

34:19

Struck off. Or. Lose their job or

34:21

the pets and privileges like more. So.

34:24

To preserve their income and their career,

34:26

they have chosen to stay quiet and

34:29

ignored the central tenet of medical ethics

34:31

which is to do first. Do no

34:33

harm. Said the next time

34:35

you go and see a doctor and a

34:37

knee or in the Gp practice or the

34:39

minor injuries you know. How.

34:41

And. You. Know So confidence. Do you

34:44

know when they are advising you or

34:46

your child? Or. Your patron about

34:48

a sound course of action. Their

34:50

act see recommending what's in

34:53

your best interest. And

34:55

not actually what's in their best interest,

34:57

which will protect their license and their

34:59

income. Because. It

35:01

could be that what is in your best

35:03

into a interest. Will. Get them

35:06

into trouble. And if it gets them into

35:08

trouble. Than they're not very

35:10

happy so they might say mile. I'll

35:12

just go along and do is I'm

35:14

told because the guidelines tell me to.

35:17

And the reality is if

35:19

you get sick or die.

35:22

You know through a protocol or a

35:24

guideline. No. Doctor will get pulled up

35:27

for that. The. Doctor will be protected.

35:30

But. The moment a doctor does

35:32

something for years, And.

35:34

Actually, Using something happens to

35:37

you and it was outside the guy's on.

35:39

The. Whole weights of the machinery will come

35:41

down on that doctor. And punish

35:44

them. And. Say that's because he used that's

35:46

your fault and make an example of you. So.

35:49

This. Is terrifying where we are right now

35:51

and it doesn't matter if your private or

35:54

Nhs is the same thing and let's go

35:56

back to health then fill the simple things

35:58

that are that says. Then

36:00

someone tangles to you. A.

36:02

Device. Or. Supplements

36:05

or some expensive

36:07

modality. Run the

36:09

other direction Time Not selling anything. I'm

36:11

not selling any machines, a semi treatments,

36:14

or any supplements. And. Oh

36:16

yes, there are things that can help you

36:18

and I take supplements but as you don't

36:20

supplement yourself of bad health. Just

36:23

like you don't comply as tyranny.

36:25

And to her to get the in

36:28

am. So basically. Am.

36:31

So basically the things I'm telling

36:33

your free, Their free, They're cheap,

36:36

their simple. But they They do.

36:39

Take. Personal responsibility and

36:41

and sometimes sacrifice. And

36:44

S. And. The

36:46

problem is that human beings have become

36:49

lazy. And. They want

36:51

a quick sex. And

36:53

this abdicated their personal responsibility

36:55

to authorities that chair not

36:57

about their health. And.

37:00

So that's where we need to change as a culture. We.

37:02

Stop going to the easy route. We.

37:05

Need to many to choose The hard to root

37:07

to hard to pass. Because. That's where

37:09

the real fruit fly. So anyway am

37:11

I would say first of all, sleep.

37:15

So so I'm.

37:18

Underestimated. The power of sleep. And.

37:21

But we talk about bittorrent beauty sleep, for

37:23

example. And if you just look at

37:25

night shift workers, people who do night shifts. Live.

37:28

A good ten years less than people

37:30

who don't deny access. To. Have

37:32

a much higher rate of

37:34

cardiovascular disease, Angina, heart

37:37

attacks, strokes, and a much higher

37:39

incidence of cancer. To.

37:41

Just think that that. Something.

37:43

Is happening to these people? When. They're

37:45

doing noxious, they're dying quicker and their

37:48

sicker. And and it's not just about

37:50

life expectancy. In a you could live

37:52

to eighty. They. Did spend

37:54

sixteen years. And. Incontinent

37:56

Dublin continent in a nursing

37:58

home. not knowing who you are,

38:01

where you are. Do you really

38:03

want to live 15 years like that? So

38:05

I think people need to understand that it's not just

38:07

about longevity, it's about the

38:10

quality of life that you have. So

38:13

sleep deprivation is a major problem

38:15

and it's essentially because it's during

38:17

sleep that you actually heal, recover,

38:19

repair and build. It's

38:22

not when you're in the gym lifting those weights

38:24

that you're going to be building muscle now. I

38:28

am not good at sleep. Do

38:31

you know, I'm seeking some

38:33

professional help. When

38:37

I was younger, actually before I had

38:39

children, I was great

38:41

at sleeping. And I

38:43

mean, when I've had jobs

38:46

in my pre-child existence, which

38:48

were stressful, for

38:50

whatever reason, but I was always

38:52

able to come home. And if I had

38:55

had a really bad day for whatever reason,

38:57

my refuge was sleep. You

39:00

know, whatever stress I was experiencing

39:02

did not keep me awake. Sometimes

39:05

I would come in and I would find I'm just going to my bed

39:07

and I would get 10

39:09

hours of sleep. I was uninterrupted

39:11

sleep. I was really well, it worked for

39:13

me. Obviously I've

39:16

had a few children that have grown up

39:18

now largely, ever since the

39:20

first of them, that classic disrupt your sleep

39:22

obviously, because you're getting up through the night

39:25

with an infant and so on and so on. And

39:27

I never got it back. One

39:29

way and another, my ability to

39:32

sleep was sort of that had been

39:34

deleted. And I'm very aware,

39:36

I know this, I know that it's a

39:38

third of your life should be spent asleep

39:40

and it's where your soul and your

39:43

essence goes to recover and to process

39:45

and to repair. I'm well

39:47

aware of all of that, but I am not good

39:49

at it. And I've tried it. I stay away from

39:51

the light of computers. I don't take, I

39:54

don't drink caffeine to drinks

39:57

Late in the day and so on. I'm not good at it. I Don't,

39:59

it worries me. Can I knew? I

40:01

had important sweepers. Most.

40:04

Stop worrying about it because that's

40:06

not gonna help either. Am worried

40:08

great stress, Stress. Court. So.

40:11

Dampens, Everything. But you're right They to some foreign

40:13

you know it's not just. Are

40:15

the things we just touched by As much

40:17

deeper scientific level. You know you've got the

40:19

circadian rhythm. Every cell in your body is

40:21

a and an ill at different times. The

40:24

clock was thing and then hormones are released.

40:26

San. Hormones go up. certain hormones go down.

40:29

If. You don't sleep than your insulin levels

40:31

go up and you keep it keep

40:33

be put on weight silk just not

40:35

sleeping will pick way on make insulin

40:37

resistance. Am. A lawyer testosterone?

40:40

A Lower your muscle mass. Your recovery

40:42

regeneration so hundred percent by mean like my

40:44

your sleep is not right and we we

40:47

could talk about this for hours. I.

40:49

Am I simple? Thing. I

40:51

would say a lot of people struggle. I

40:53

struggle new. Now. I'm not gonna

40:55

lie, said daily battle for me. I wake

40:57

up probably once a night. then he'd go

40:59

for we we am and I'm and it's

41:01

sort of our paths things like. Going.

41:04

To sleep early. Am

41:06

is really important but waking up early

41:08

is also equally important in as a

41:10

habit of snoozing and had an alarm.

41:13

You. Should get up at six every

41:15

morning and go stay and watch the

41:17

sunrise because that's when your circadian rhythm

41:20

clock as we sat. And

41:22

that's when import really to exude

41:24

early ruff able to analyze was

41:26

statistically do better than what of

41:28

of money totals are. Much.

41:30

Better said, Get that. Sash.

41:33

Son Dawn, Lie in your eyes.

41:36

Am get some exercise done in

41:38

the morning to some grounding. And

41:40

granting some some blues thing yes

41:43

the get electrons through the air.

41:45

Charging. Your system. Am. At

41:47

helps generate some in cook Easy water

41:50

which is structured water. Which. is

41:52

another fascinating conversations cause for phase of water i

41:54

think i do not shed have this weird to

41:56

the winds of net you for your singers for

41:58

the first time i've never had those words I've

42:00

talked before. Yeah we're looking to Gerald

42:03

Pollock's work. It's absolutely fantastic. So

42:05

water has memory. Water is a

42:07

battery. Water is incredible.

42:10

You know when I slice a

42:12

patient open now, I've done it for years, you

42:14

know we're 70% water. Just think about 70% water.

42:18

We're meant to be bags of water right? So

42:20

if I cut you open you'd expect water

42:22

to just gosh! This

42:24

doesn't happen. Never happens. Water

42:26

in the body is actually almost like a gel. Why?

42:30

Why is that? How is that? How

42:32

is that water structured that way? It's

42:35

absolutely fascinating. Anyway

42:38

it needs electrons to make the easy water

42:40

and that's why grounding works and there's a

42:42

lot of other things that help with that.

42:44

It's all on my podcast. So

42:47

basically what I'm trying to say is sleep is

42:49

very important. So wake up early, go to sleep

42:51

early and you know if you keep doing that

42:53

and don't have midday naps, you're kind

42:55

of being tired by third fourth day and want

42:57

to crawl into bed. Minimize the

42:59

screen time not just during the evening but

43:01

during the day and you know the moment

43:03

starts to get a bit dark, 6-7 o'clock,

43:05

put your blue block of glasses on, dim

43:07

the lights. Definitely stop watching screens

43:10

like a good hour before you go

43:12

to bed. Pick up a book, do

43:14

some meditation, do some relaxation work,

43:16

have sex and definitely

43:19

avoid eating three hours before you go to bed

43:22

because when you eat a

43:24

lot of people don't understand that it's actually

43:26

turning all the machinery on. You're turning all

43:28

the knobs, peeling all the levers, pressing off

43:30

the buttons and then machinery is getting back

43:32

up and running and increasing the

43:35

blood flow to the stomach and then drawing

43:37

the nutrients and taking to the liver and the liver

43:39

is a factory and just imagine all the smoke's coming

43:41

out the pipe. No you don't, you won't be turning

43:44

everything off. Disengaging. So

43:48

how many people do you know who eat late at

43:50

night? A ton. Come home tired

43:52

and then they get their food

43:54

out and what are they eating?

43:56

They're eating garbage, processed, microwaved, whatever

43:58

and You're giving the wrong. Ignacio your body,

44:00

you just firing. Everything up, you know when

44:03

we went after that news last night. And

44:06

it was It was that was Doctor Clock

44:08

in London child. I don't do that. Don't

44:10

do that's bad for you. So many of

44:13

these dinners I go to Isis drink drink

44:15

sparkling water people looked at me like and

44:17

it's not just the site the ice fast

44:19

and eat one meal a dana as else

44:22

is just too late. To. This

44:25

moons me, Rex mates. And and and

44:27

and when you. The funny thing is when you get a. Healthy

44:29

State. You don't need

44:32

much to feel awful. But

44:34

when you're also feel awful. You're.

44:36

Always feeling awful. Another low thing was

44:38

from won't make you feel worse and

44:41

that's why when you start getting healthy

44:43

and there's little incremental gains, it can

44:45

be quite motivating. As you like Obasi

44:47

so much better. Know. I'm.

44:49

Not, I'm not trying. You know, Send.

44:52

You a little bit of my practice hand over patted

44:54

my here I'm in a we don't have time in

44:56

this part as bus I think the key thing is

44:58

incremental gains of a very quickly the things you want

45:00

to optimizers your sleep. Your. Diet

45:03

your nutrition. You're fasting.

45:05

Your. Exercise. Love.

45:07

And your life nature and

45:09

your lies connections. Minimise.

45:12

Stress. Has clean

45:14

water. healthy water, not tap

45:16

water. And stuff like that

45:18

and we can go into the details

45:20

months. Another death of so something you

45:22

said the adjust to air cooler. The.

45:25

Loving of was. Icing:

45:28

One of the the most

45:31

pernicious. Elements. In

45:33

Mortem west some lights. Is.

45:36

Is the way in which. It

45:39

being with. Someone.

45:42

He. Loves and someone who loves

45:44

you. Is

45:47

so undervalued. We.

45:49

Don't talk about to ask you

45:51

to. I'm married to Project New

45:54

City. most of my lights and

45:56

seas so integral to my. Well

45:59

being. She makes me better. Whatever

46:02

you mean by better health improved

46:05

as a, she

46:07

makes me a better person. We

46:10

don't hear enough about that. There's

46:12

this sort of background noise of

46:14

people thinking that multiple partners or

46:18

delaying being together with

46:20

someone is there in the sort of mood

46:22

music of our lives. Anyway,

46:24

I could go on and on. Lovely.

46:27

Beautiful. I love the fact you're a big romantic. Yeah,

46:30

great. So

46:33

love for me is also with that

46:36

other person just feeling really complete. And

46:38

I have that and I'm very lucky.

46:41

And I feel really

46:43

sad because maybe it's just my

46:46

exposure. But having met hundreds and hundreds,

46:48

if not thousands of people through my

46:51

work, I would say

46:53

about 80% of couples are very dysfunctional.

46:56

Or marriages or relationships

46:58

of convenience. And

47:01

they don't really have love. And

47:04

it makes me sad. Makes me very sad.

47:06

And you know, when I hear people say, I fell

47:09

out of love or

47:12

we grew apart. I

47:14

think that didn't have to happen. That

47:17

could have been avoided. Have you ever

47:19

come across love languages, by the way? No. Can

47:22

we talk about it for a second? Go

47:25

for it. Absolutely. Anyone who knows

47:27

me knows I could talk for a while. You

47:29

know us, guys, we can blather. Anyway,

47:32

so basically love,

47:36

I didn't know this until only a

47:38

few years back. Love is not

47:41

something you just think, oh, I love you and

47:43

you love me and it's that simple. There's

47:45

actually a language to love. And

47:48

this great guy whose name is just

47:50

forgotten, typical, broke it

47:52

down into five different broad themes, five

47:54

languages of love. And

47:58

Most people have one or two. That.

48:00

They that languages that they they

48:02

recognize so. They. Like

48:04

to receive love in this manner.

48:07

Okay, I'm also when you'd like

48:10

to receive love in this manner. The

48:12

default is you like to give love

48:14

back in that manner to other people.

48:17

But. That's a pitfall people make.

48:20

Because. Just because you like love being

48:22

given to you in assembly. Doesn't

48:24

necessarily mean that the loves that someone

48:26

else is. Out there that you're giving

48:28

back to his the way they wanted. And

48:31

that's where relationships get into trouble.

48:33

You need to understand your partner's

48:35

love languages. As you may have

48:37

different ones and to be honest the likelihood

48:39

is that you do. Because opposites

48:42

attract. Surgery. And example,

48:44

the main love languages are Access

48:47

Service. So.

48:49

He empty the dishwasher. Tsar. Dishwasher,

48:52

Or cook a meal or clean up around

48:54

the has or go out shopping. That's

48:56

an axe as active service for someone

48:58

else potentially. If you take your

49:01

they're closer dry cleaning. As

49:03

you m. M

49:05

Words of affirmation. So if you're constantly messaging threat

49:07

the day, are talking to each other, or even

49:09

when you see them in the evening, it's a

49:11

I love you. Baby. You're the best!

49:14

Husband. I could ever ask for. I love

49:16

you so much! By the way, your hair's gorgeous!

49:18

I'm so lucky to have you. It's a

49:20

saying nice things. To you make you feel

49:22

special on loved. Sorry. One guess.

49:25

Hey Neil, I love you so much I

49:27

want to a years of. You. Know

49:29

aftershave want to give you like ah my kind

49:31

of of alone or boxes lars or books, chocolate

49:33

or a. Bunch. Florist. And

49:35

so that's that. And then there's am quality

49:38

time. Kneel.

49:40

you know I can yellen. Spend time

49:42

you buy the I spend some quality

49:44

time chatting, talking, Just doing

49:46

shit together. And then the last one

49:49

is physical touch and is not. Not. Not

49:51

actually sexist, sweat. Holding. Hands.

49:55

Next to each other. Stoking.

49:57

Your someone's hair, my bald head or

49:59

whatever. So I'll give an example, my wife's

50:01

languages of love, predominantly

50:04

the big one right up there at the

50:06

top was acts of service. So

50:09

meat cooking a meal for her, tidying

50:11

up around the house, doing things with the

50:13

kids because I went part time so I

50:15

was helping with the kids and everything, would

50:18

make her feel loved up. And

50:21

she did. If I

50:23

didn't, if I sat at home, if my feet up

50:25

and she comes home and goes, so what's

50:28

for food? I don't know, what are you going to

50:30

cook? That would not make her feel loved up. So

50:33

her language of love was acts of service,

50:35

me doing things for her, which I was

50:37

very naturally very good at. Her

50:40

other language of love was

50:42

physical touch. And one of

50:44

the things my wife and I always do and have done for a

50:46

very long time is, you know, whenever we

50:48

spend a little bit of time watching TV, you

50:50

know, before we start, we light fire, we

50:52

chat about the kids and work, and we

50:54

massage each other. She sits in front of

50:56

me, I do her shoulders, her head, then

50:59

I sit in front of her and then she does

51:01

me, or then we do the feet sometimes with the

51:03

hands and it's very relaxing, it's very tactile, it's very

51:05

loving. Great thing we do

51:07

together. So those were

51:09

her two love languages, physical touch and

51:12

acts of service. Now what did she want

51:14

to do for her love? I love how

51:16

you said earlier that you weren't a good

51:18

husband because you shaved. You

51:21

just lift this behaviour. I

51:23

would say I'm a very

51:26

attentive and in the moment kind of

51:28

a person suddenly. I knew

51:31

you were being self-deprecating. However,

51:35

I would say you're paying attention. I

51:38

am. I'll come to that in a second. But

51:42

the problem is with the

51:45

whole lockdown and everything,

51:47

there's a bit of a strain in

51:49

our marriage. And I realised, this is before I

51:52

understood love languages, the problem

51:54

was my wife was giving

51:56

me love the way she wanted to be received.

52:00

And that was a mistake because my love language

52:02

is not active service if I wanted the has

52:04

cleaned and get a made. Of I

52:06

wanted am a. Suit. You

52:08

know, attack to keep myself. You know I

52:11

am very self sufficient and very independent. Brakes

52:13

are not typical man who just sits with

52:15

his feet up and that you know clicks

52:17

fingers and I am very hands on. I'm

52:19

very domesticated. And a like it like that

52:21

a Lhasa. Apso. Don't want my

52:23

wife to do acts of service for me means

52:25

missing. Physical.

52:28

Touch was great, but it wasn't

52:30

enough. My main language of loss

52:32

is actually quality time. And

52:35

I'm one of things my wife

52:38

fell into. Unfortunately was an addiction.

52:41

She was addicted to pokemon. She.

52:43

Got into the stupid game someone mentioned to

52:46

see to watch pokemon as a kid. The

52:48

cartoon among the game came as someone told

52:50

her about in them friend I know I'm

52:52

being serious. She became addicted

52:55

to the game, put them on. She's.

52:57

On her phone the whole time. Is

52:59

on the toilet for hours and I were you

53:01

doing is on put the months because of the

53:03

park. With. The kids. And

53:06

I'm speaking the swearing and then and I'm

53:08

always gonna and she's up there with her.

53:10

Put them on strike, Kill slay some Munster.

53:14

And them and quite bad. Quality.

53:17

Time with not horse dung for her ideas and closed.

53:19

Down with what you really are was

53:21

being undermined by book I'm on the

53:23

yeah. No I

53:25

mean seriously. And and amongst other

53:27

things like. What's up? Groups at work? in at

53:29

whatever. It was happy on her phone. she was

53:32

always on a phone on see speak With this

53:34

know I was not having quality time for

53:36

I wasn't talking to her talking to her.

53:39

Aside to get quite lonely. And.

53:41

Else she was there, but not there. And.

53:45

And that's my main language of love. quality

53:47

time and when you do not get that

53:49

laws. You feel

53:51

unloved. And then you

53:53

feel resentment. Then. You feel

53:55

anger. And. Then and then

53:57

you start to grow apart. That person does. That

54:00

me. Why should I bother doing anything for

54:02

them? I don't love them back. So imagine

54:04

like you're walking down a path together in

54:06

the woods. right? You're holding hands, that you're

54:08

walking together. You know where you going some

54:11

and back. Same destination together. But. Imagine

54:13

you're not holding hands. And I

54:15

these headphones are you listen to music. Imagine

54:18

every step you take. you take one

54:20

millimeter. park. Have you

54:22

steps you take in a day ten

54:24

thousand ten thousand millimeters apart. How.

54:26

Many days in a year. And.

54:28

Then suddenly to see has suddenly. You've grown apart

54:30

and you're like, say, Where's.

54:33

My partner: Where are they. Oh

54:35

my God. the rope era of like or

54:37

this week or a par. With.

54:39

Salah as laws. And

54:42

then to get that course correction. Sometimes.

54:45

A so violin. So. Possible.

54:47

Sometimes it's just like. That

54:51

you're too far when I your mouse with. Didn't.

54:53

Want. To someone else in

54:55

the. Five. Eyes. You

54:58

go have an affair, You go wherever blah blah.

55:00

So. Who's back

55:02

to what you said? You read tenses,

55:04

That when. It comes to

55:06

relationships. If you aren't working at

55:08

it every single day. It ain't

55:11

working. The moment you take.

55:13

Your. Other half for granted.

55:18

Single: spend. Every

55:20

day you should treat your other half is is

55:22

it your first ever day. In.

55:24

A. In. A the butterflies in

55:26

your stomach, the excitement of seen them. Yearning.

55:30

For their presence. Looking forward to them.

55:33

But not in a weird way. Not

55:35

in a weird now carelessly. I

55:37

encourage my wife to go out with her

55:39

friends and have dinner and do things with

55:41

them and she likes Need to go at

55:44

night tonight. Am you know. Fairly.

55:47

Evening I'm me in a friend or cari. It.

55:49

Was like it's good to touch. Spent

55:51

time away but you should be excited

55:53

about seeing together. And. You

55:55

should be working harder. Did

55:59

you did? I'm just

56:01

watching the. I'm just watching the clock photos for

56:03

his booth homage. is watching that a new that

56:05

you have a i have a a you got

56:07

to goon. A have your

56:09

jujitsu session but did this? All

56:11

of this you talk about Unicef.

56:13

This is what I'm seeing as

56:16

if the if the disruption of

56:18

the last four years. The

56:20

i specifically of really what happened in

56:22

the first set of eating months to

56:24

years of that people is it was

56:26

it that the as that set you

56:28

off as in in so many ways

56:30

in this discover innocent voyage of discovery

56:32

about yourself and about really shit wilderness.

56:34

Let's say that such you you might

56:36

actually be able to see that as

56:38

in in some ways. You're glad

56:40

it happened. I'll I'll go

56:43

first the not because of because I

56:45

sing law in many ways about you

56:47

press a button and meet the coover

56:49

debacle not have happened a severely tempted

56:51

to press a button them on have

56:53

the cooper debacle not have happened to

56:55

the world but in reality because of

56:58

the understanding the other quiet and of

57:00

and the you know that that ended

57:02

the deepening of the of the when

57:04

puts York City I understand tell which

57:06

we were already great but you know

57:08

that as you know that has been

57:10

further intensified. And the people

57:12

of the people I shared the people

57:15

at that party company with me because

57:17

he didn't like of sinking insane but

57:19

the people have come into that that's

57:21

not seeking space including you. ah I

57:23

see that assumptions and I do have

57:26

an account of all I think to.

57:29

This. Was for the. My.

57:31

Bet on them. May.

57:33

Harm some a mortal. We're paying

57:35

more attention and and sync with

57:38

important things than I did in

57:40

the first of center of my

57:42

life. Never.

57:45

Have regrets. My. Eyes and.

57:48

I've. Been molested as a kid. Believe.

57:51

As a child, Has.

57:54

Been said: painful abusive marriage.

57:56

Of. In paralyzed after cards and had

57:59

a marriage. The surgeries. I've

58:01

been bullied and harassed at work. I.

58:04

Them a little interest, you

58:06

know? The handed out my

58:08

profession, bullied and harassed by my

58:10

private hospitals. I. Went

58:13

through the whole code. tobacco. Have.

58:15

Been cold. So many names and.

58:18

Things. I. Don't care of take

58:20

any that back at go for all over again.

58:23

Because I am who I am today. Because.

58:25

Of all these experiences in this shaped me

58:27

into the person I am right now and

58:30

I quite like time right now. And.

58:32

I think it's always about. Taking.

58:34

The negatives and your life and we all

58:36

have them. And embracing them.

58:39

And. Turning of what is adversity

58:41

and negativity. And. To positivity.

58:44

Lesser. Job. And they will always be. Shit.

58:48

And the vote and a while since people

58:50

and and this a good place to and

58:52

imagine you're You're in a hard to race.

58:55

In. Out there's hard to every time like ten

58:57

twenty meters. So. This is a

58:59

nice stretch in the middle. You get your legs stretched out

59:01

and then yes, do you have to go hard to. Sometimes.

59:04

You triple rang and stumble in the Us to pick

59:06

yourself up and keep running. And.

59:08

And you know you have to keep going. Not only time there

59:10

aren't. Any hard to last. As.

59:13

When you're no longer on the track. Or

59:16

impress his life. is that hard to

59:18

raise that track? Is just

59:20

an inevitability. Enjoy the sweet moments

59:22

in between. Jump over the higher

59:25

dose. pick yourself up. going. Saw.

59:27

It I would never going to have these. Problems his

59:29

memories dead. As

59:32

except it racists I wish I knew

59:34

I knew. As a say it I

59:36

knew that you're gonna lift me up

59:39

and do you feel it was But

59:41

it's because there's that is something about

59:43

you. Clearly a product of of everything

59:45

as meet You and whatever is all

59:47

you just listed as meet you up

59:49

a rate. Is at

59:52

positive force and I'm. Delighted!

59:55

That our paths crossed. When

59:57

they did and as us also

1:00:00

a minute I want you to

1:00:02

come back and talk to me

1:00:04

and my audience regularly because you

1:00:07

know put your prescribing as a

1:00:09

healer is you know money can't

1:00:11

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