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2:46

Honey's high. Welcome to

2:48

this episode of Nashbucket. You're going to hear

2:50

the intro song. And an intro to

2:52

the episode and a sack, but I just wanted

2:54

to say that I recorded this. It

2:56

feels like months ago. Definitely Beaut

2:58

a maybe 2. Beaut

3:01

for some reason, I'm finding it very

3:03

difficult to record solo episodes.

3:06

Yes, I have a child. Beaut

3:08

it's still hard to find the time.

3:11

So this I don't even know

3:13

what I said, to be honest. I don't even remember what I said

3:15

on this episode. So I'm gonna listen Beaut. And if

3:17

I have anything, to add. I

3:19

will add it in just like I did

3:21

the last episode. So it might be a little all

3:23

over the place emotionally. Beaut

3:26

I feel like at this point y'all kind of expect

3:28

that, you know, unhinged behavior.

3:30

So that's all I wanted to say. Please

3:32

enjoy. And and I'm sorry it took so long for

3:34

me to get this episode out. Hopefully, it'll be

3:36

worth the wait. Oh, yeah. A

3:45

natural beauty. Honey's

3:55

Hello. Welcome to Natch, The

3:57

Lifestyle. Comedy podcasts

3:59

where we laugh, we cry, and we scream.

4:02

Yes, I said lifestyle. We're

4:04

working on a little bit of a rebrand. I'm

4:07

curious your thoughts, but

4:09

I am your host and your guide PGA, also

4:11

known as the Beaut Talk, shock shock, your queen of

4:13

creams, hosted the most serious and precious friends on

4:15

the West Beaut, your favorite over thirty Natch influencer

4:18

Creaming while the baby is screaming, your

4:20

cookie southern ant welcomed an attribute.

4:23

This is postpartum part two.

4:25

There's just so much to discuss. And

4:27

I have not gotten to all of y'all's questions

4:29

Beaut, so guess what? We're doing a part two.

4:32

And based on the feedback I've

4:33

gotten,

4:34

I don't think y'all are gonna care that it's

4:36

a part 2 Beaut I again

4:38

have gotten such a response from

4:40

the content. So

4:42

many of us out there have

4:45

either experienced birth ourselves,

4:47

it has affected us in

4:49

some way or we're curious about

4:51

it. So I love that for us and I'm

4:53

so grateful that y'all have been listening.

4:57

Today, I was in physical therapy and

5:00

I go to see this woman. I'm gonna shout

5:02

her out. Anyone who lives in Northeast

5:04

LA slash Pasadena slash Hankabriel

5:07

Valley You gotta go see doctor Linda

5:09

Saad. She's

5:11

amazing and her physical therapy

5:13

practice is called feminine centric wellness

5:15

and she's been helping me

5:17

every week for a few weeks

5:19

now. I'm telling you, when

5:22

you give birth, your body is

5:24

so depleted and and

5:27

it's a traumatic experience for

5:29

physical body. And

5:31

I said to her today, I said, when is my

5:33

pussy gonna be back to the way

5:35

it was, when is it gonna feel okay?

5:37

When am I not gonna feel it in my tail

5:39

when I laugh or cough? And she said, it's

5:41

gonna take a year. And

5:44

this is just a lot. And

5:46

I was laying there because I

5:48

actually pulled my back out a couple

5:50

days ago lifting

5:52

my baby up out of the crib because

5:54

he's very heavy and long and

5:56

big. And I'm

5:58

physically not feeling very strong.

6:02

Beaut once again, I

6:04

went through a birth and my

6:06

body made a person and

6:08

it's recovering from that. And

6:10

I don't have the time to devote

6:13

to repairing my body

6:15

as much time as I would like and as

6:17

much time as it needs. And

6:19

I was laying there in her office and I just

6:21

said, I just started crying

6:23

I said, when am I gonna

6:25

feel better.

6:28

And she just said it's gonna take a while.

6:31

And so I just wanted to say thank you to

6:33

everyone who's been 2 Natch lately.

6:36

I I started crying today

6:38

thinking about my birth, and

6:41

I felt a little anger

6:43

come up because talking

6:47

through it on the show and having

6:49

all of you chime in and talk to me

6:51

about it. It is helping me

6:53

heal, but it I also am confronting

6:55

the pain and the trauma of the situation,

6:58

and I'm starting to feel angry about

7:00

certain things. And I'm not

7:02

directing the anger at anyone. As

7:05

I said in that birth episode, birth

7:08

is traumatic, and

7:10

very few of us get to experience

7:12

the birth that we want. We

7:15

have this magical feeling

7:18

of how we want things to go and

7:20

very rarely do they actually happen.

7:23

And I'm just starting to get angry Beaut why

7:25

didn't anybody turned my baby.

7:27

Why didn't anybody know my baby was

7:29

sunny side up? Why didn't anybody

7:31

try to turn him around? And now

7:33

I'm thinking, maybe they did, and I

7:35

just don't remember, and it didn't work. I

7:37

don't know. And

7:39

I don't think it's a very good road to

7:41

go down me sitting here trying figure that out. I

7:43

think it's a dead end road and it's not 2 help me

7:45

feel any better. I'm

7:47

just starting to feel like weird to

7:49

anger about it. So I'm I'm sharing

7:51

that because I wonder if other people

7:54

feel the same way. I'm

7:57

four months into being a mom

7:59

and every day is

8:01

different. The baby changes so

8:03

quickly. I've never known a person

8:05

for four months and have them

8:07

change so much. And

8:09

it's fascinating. And I'm

8:12

so honored to be here for that,

8:14

but it has been very hard.

8:16

And I'm

8:18

exhausted. And

8:21

we have a lot to discuss. So

8:24

we're 2 pick up where we left off,

8:26

last episode so I wanted to

8:28

add a couple things. I didn't

8:30

share this last time. I I totally kind of forgot,

8:32

but As I

8:35

mentioned, during my childbirth, I threw

8:37

up a lot due to my acid reflux.

8:40

I didn't share that

8:43

after I gave birth, I couldn't really

8:45

eat for about a

8:47

week without being in

8:49

excruciating pain. Because I

8:52

had burned my esophagus out.

8:54

And I was worried that I

8:56

destroyed it permanently. It was

8:58

so painful. I couldn't

9:00

eat anything. I would

9:02

solve trying to eat, even

9:05

drinking water. Even

9:08

sipping lukewarm broth

9:10

was excruciating. And I,

9:12

once again, was having anxiety

9:15

and freaking out about my milk supply. And I

9:17

said, if I don't eat, I'm not gonna make

9:19

milk. And it was a really

9:21

difficult time to

9:22

navigate, Beaut slowly my

9:24

throat started not hurting anymore.

9:26

And I started saying, okay.

9:28

Thank goodness. Thank

9:31

God that it's healing. One of

9:33

the only things that I could stomach

9:35

was my three trees, oat, and

9:37

seed milk. Now, I don't work for three

9:39

trees. I emailed them and I said,

9:41

can I do content for y'all? Because

9:43

I'm so in love

9:45

with this Beaut, and y'all saved me

9:47

postpartum because my throat was burnt

9:49

out from throwing up. And the only

9:51

thing that seemed to relieve my pain

9:53

was this oat and seed milk. As

9:55

a vegan, I have

9:57

to get a lot of protein from

10:00

outside different sources in

10:02

my diet. And this milk

10:04

has four grams of protein

10:06

per cup Beaut it's

10:08

made from seeds. This

10:10

this milk actually has no nuts in it. So

10:12

if you have a nut allergy, it would be great

10:14

for you. I was

10:16

drinking it every day at least

10:18

a bottle of it. I was getting it from

10:20

every grocery store. I now know every grocery

10:22

store within a ten mile radius of my house

10:24

that carries it and I was going around getting all

10:26

of them. So

10:28

if you happen to live in Eagle Rock,

10:31

don't come for my milk. Okay?

10:33

But everybody else in the

10:35

world get this three trees, o and c milk

10:37

at this. It is so healthy and

10:39

delicious and there's no additives. It's

10:41

just a wonderful brand, a wonderful

10:44

product. But anyway,

10:46

enough about that. So that was

10:48

extremely hard to navigate. And the second

10:50

thing that I 2 reiterate to y'all,

10:53

that I haven't discussed on the

10:55

pregnancy episodes yet

10:57

is something that I read in a lot of my

10:59

books and was

11:01

warned about by

11:04

friends. And I'm just stressing it

11:06

again. Last episode

11:08

with The Blues Plank, I said,

11:10

make sure that if you

11:12

are reach a certain age in your life and

11:14

you really want a child, but you aren't

11:16

in a good relationship, do

11:18

not have a child with bad

11:20

person because you want a child.

11:22

A baby is not gonna

11:24

save your relationship. It

11:27

is not going to save your relationship.

11:30

I have a good relationship and the

11:32

baby has been very hard

11:34

on it. Okay? Your

11:37

marriage your partnership is

11:39

going to take a hit. It

11:42

is inevitable. I don't know

11:44

how it could not. You're in

11:46

a bad mood, you're tired, you're

11:48

exhausted, you're depleted.

11:51

And the non birth

11:53

partner will never fully get

11:55

that. Even if they're the

11:57

most understanding, sensitive,

11:59

wonderful person, they're just not gonna get

12:01

it. Beaut also you don't

12:03

have the time and the energy

12:05

that you used to put into your

12:07

partner and their needs. You

12:09

don't even have the time to put it into

12:12

your own needs. So things

12:14

change. And

12:16

if you have a baby with someone

12:19

in hopes that it's gonna make y'all

12:21

closer and it's gonna heal the relationship,

12:23

it is not. It's going to do the

12:25

opposite. So be careful

12:27

is my warning to the high knees because

12:29

you are bridged to

12:31

a person for a life when you have a child with

12:33

them. And again, this comes from a person

12:36

who was comes from a

12:38

quote unquote, broken home. My

12:40

parents don't like each other and

12:42

navigating having two parents that do not

12:44

like each other. My entire life

12:47

has been very hard. I

12:49

do feel it is the reason why I married the wrong

12:51

person the first go around. So

12:54

a word to the wise. And I know y'all

12:56

listen to me. I've gotten more at

12:58

DMs about stuff

13:00

like this that I ever expected. I remember

13:03

when I announced my divorce and I discussed

13:05

it briefly on other shows and things. I got

13:07

messages from y'all being like, I really

13:09

listened to what you had to say and it made me

13:11

confront my my issues and I

13:13

I left my relationship. I left my mayor.

13:15

I mean, y'all listen to me. I'm a

13:17

divorce influencer. I'm a baby

13:19

influencer. I'm a serum influencer.

13:21

I'm all these damn things. So I

13:23

say this to you because I I

13:26

almost had a baby with my ex

13:28

Beaut manipulators, you

13:31

know, he knew how bad I wanted

13:33

a kid. And I feel

13:35

like he tried to

13:37

get me to stay with him by

13:39

tempting me with that, which is

13:41

so cruel And

13:44

luckily, I I left,

13:46

you know? So

13:48

if somebody's trying to do that to

13:50

you, Don't

13:52

let that little voice in your

13:54

head Beaut silenced. Listen to

13:56

it. It's not right.

13:58

And you won't be doing yourself any

14:00

favors. And I'll end this by just

14:02

saying, I again, I hope all my honey's out

14:04

there who wanna have a baby Beaut get their

14:06

baby one way or another. And

14:08

if you don't Beaut a baby, God

14:10

bless you. Enjoy your freedom.

14:12

Enjoy your freedom. Things

14:14

change so much. And I've

14:16

always said this. Beaut I 2 happen

14:19

with my sister and friends. I've

14:21

always said that when you have a your life

14:23

is over. It is over. The

14:25

life you knew is over. You get

14:27

a new life, but

14:29

your life that you know

14:31

is over. And with that, let's

14:33

continue the questions that y'all

14:36

sent me that I haven't gotten to

14:38

yet. Okay.

14:40

We're gonna start with the breastfeeding question,

14:42

and I have so much to say about this topic.

14:44

As I have mentioned, somebody

14:46

wrote and said, why don't people talk

14:48

about how not every mom enjoys

14:50

breastfeeding and that's okay, exclamation

14:53

point. I would

14:55

like to just reiterate this

14:57

sentence. Not every mom

14:59

enjoys breastfeeding, and that's

15:01

okay. My breastfeeding

15:03

journey has been the hardest thing I've

15:05

ever done. Mentally. It

15:07

is so hard the way our

15:09

society has been set up

15:11

for most of us to live in

15:13

single family homes with two incomes.

15:16

And then a woman, a new mom, is

15:18

expected to breastfeed, or

15:20

I think back in the old days when we were

15:22

all living in caves, things

15:25

were a little different. But when you

15:27

breastfeed a child, you

15:29

are tethered to that child so

15:32

closely in terms of your

15:34

time and your body that

15:36

it makes having anything

15:38

else going on in your life, very

15:41

difficult. Let alone

15:43

a career. So anyone out there

15:45

who has had a baby and is then

15:47

told six weeks later, you have to go back

15:49

to work. The only way to

15:51

keep up with the breastfeeding

15:54

regimen that your baby now needs

15:56

is to pump with a

15:58

machine every three hours,

16:00

which is time consuming,

16:02

not just because you have to sit there, but

16:04

you have to clean all these damn

16:06

PPPart2. And there's like fifty little parts that you

16:08

have to keep them all sanitizes and

16:10

say, and

16:12

it's hard on you and

16:15

it's it's impossible. It

16:18

is impossible. I

16:20

work from home. So

16:23

I have the means

16:25

to feed my baby with my body

16:27

physically, so I don't have to keep cleaning all those

16:29

goddamn PPPart2 because they're annoying. And

16:31

even even it then it's difficult for

16:33

me. I I'm in here recording, and I'll have

16:35

a knock at the door. And

16:37

the person caring for my child will say,

16:39

hey, he needs and I have to stop what I'm doing

16:41

and go feed him. It's

16:43

a lot. Do you like being

16:46

damp? Do you enjoy the

16:48

feeling of dampness? Because

16:51

when you breastfeed, you're damp all

16:53

the time. Your

16:55

front is damp. Your titties are damp. I

16:57

wake up damp. I go to bed

16:59

damp. I look down. I'm damp. I

17:01

look down. There's just

17:03

secretion coming Beaut. You

17:05

always have on AAA ugly dirty

17:08

shirt. Don't wear anything nice.

17:11

You can't feel nice

17:13

fabric against your skin.

17:15

You can't enjoy clothing.

17:19

I have an ugly nursing top

17:22

on twenty four seven. Okay?

17:26

I am so tired and exhausted. On

17:28

top of waking up in the middle of the

17:30

night from a baby

17:32

screaming, you know, on

17:34

top of that, you're of a milk

17:36

factory. So

17:38

it's exhausting working at the factory,

17:41

hon. Okay? I clock in and clock

17:43

out of this factory and

17:45

all that, the factory is open

17:47

twenty four hours. Okay?

17:50

So it's a lot. And on top

17:52

of that, it came easy to me. As I mentioned

17:54

in my birthing episode, Sandy

17:56

latched within a few minutes of being

17:59

born. My milk came in. My

18:01

supply has been fine so far. He

18:04

had no issues latching, and it

18:06

has still been extremely difficult for

18:09

me. Painful, mentally exhausting,

18:11

it's so hard. Our

18:15

society sets us up to

18:17

fail. Now, I say the word fail.

18:19

You are not a failure if

18:21

you don't breastfeed, if you stop breastfeeding,

18:23

if you decide not to at

18:26

all. It is

18:28

so hard and we're not set

18:30

up anymore for it to be

18:32

a success. So

18:35

to the person who wrote this, it is

18:37

okay if you don't like it. It

18:39

is okay if you choose not to do

18:41

it slash you stop.

18:45

I personally am not enjoying it

18:47

that much. There are certain things

18:49

I enjoy about it. One

18:51

thing I enjoy is that

18:53

I feel an honor that I get to do it.

18:55

I feel honored that

18:58

I made this person, I chose him to

19:00

be in the world, and

19:02

now I'm providing him with the food that

19:04

my body makes for him, and that is a

19:06

deep honor. So that feels really

19:09

great. I also and

19:11

this again, I'm sharing this, but it

19:13

is not a judgment at all.

19:16

But I must share that

19:18

I personally and

19:21

my personal life and

19:23

beliefs don't eat

19:25

dairy. Therefore, it was a

19:27

real Mind fuck for me knowing that if

19:29

I didn't breastfeed, I would be

19:31

relying on dairy to feed him,

19:33

which is again the

19:35

main reason I'm sticking with it.

19:38

So I will get into a little

19:40

breastfeeding just now. And if

19:42

you again don't want a 2, you

19:44

didn't breastfeed, I completely one

19:46

hundred percent am with you.

19:48

But those of you who want

19:51

to try I'm

19:53

gonna just give you all the things that work

19:55

for me. I have an Amazon

19:57

store and in it I have

19:59

a breastfeeding section because

20:01

I found there were so many things that

20:04

helped me, that I

20:06

wanted to share with y'all, and I'll share

20:08

you my Amazon store. It's

20:10

amazon dot com slash

20:12

shop slash Jackie

20:14

Michelle Johnson. And in there

20:16

is a breastfeeding section.

20:19

Breast feeding is a

20:20

grind, breastfeeding is difficult, anything you can

20:22

do to make it easier I'm all

20:24

about, so I'm just gonna share some

20:27

of my stuff. My pump of

20:29

choice is the spectra one

20:31

and a friend of mine gave it to me.

20:33

She's had two kids and she's done with it, so

20:35

she gave it to me. I

20:37

enjoy this pump immensely. I like the Spectre

20:40

one, not the two. If

20:42

you call your insurance and get a

20:44

free pump, See if

20:46

they'll give you the Spectre one. Now, the

20:48

Spectre two is pink, which I respect,

20:50

but you have to plug it in. Spectre

20:52

one, you can be

20:53

cordless. So you do have to lug around the 2, but

20:56

you can move it around the house easy and

20:58

not have it plugged in. I

20:59

love this pump. I I have

21:02

no note. It's an incredible

21:04

product. So if you happen to call your

21:06

insurance and they give you options and

21:08

Spectra is one of them, I

21:10

really I really like it. Some people love the Modelo

21:12

symphony. I haven't used it, but I really like

21:14

the spectra, and I I give it

21:16

all my respect. I use

21:18

these Modelo quick

21:20

steam bags and

21:23

this is a way of sanitizing your pump

21:25

parts quickly and you

21:27

can use bag up to twenty

21:29

times. It's not super wasteful and

21:31

it's a quick way to

21:33

steam and sanitize your parts.

21:35

I highly recommend getting these

21:38

A bag of them is twenty eight dollars. And again, if

21:40

your friend is thinking about

21:43

breastfeeding, great gift. I also have

21:45

talked about the haka, get

21:47

a haka. If you

21:49

plan on breastfeeding, if you wanna try breastfeeding, get

21:51

the haka. It's an incredible product. At

21:53

the beginning, it was a great way to

21:56

collect extra milk and start getting

21:58

your stashed together without having to

22:00

actually pump with a machine.

22:03

Ahaka is wonderful. I've talked at

22:05

nauseam about the Nickel Shields.

22:07

They're incredible. So Beaut the

22:10

silver nipple cups. The ones

22:12

I have on my Amazon are

22:14

go

22:14

mommy. The original silver

22:16

nursing cups, but there's so

22:18

many of them. If

22:19

you go on Amazon, if you go online

22:21

and you type in silver nursing

22:24

cups, silver nipple cups, something will

22:26

come up, get something. They're incredible. I

22:28

literally still use them every day

22:30

at four months. Postpartum.

22:33

So they're incredible. I have found there's

22:35

this company called DAPL. DAPL

22:38

Beaut. They sell at Target. They

22:41

make dish soap and it says

22:43

that it gets rid of milk residue

22:45

better than normal dish soap. I don't know if

22:47

that's true, but it works really well for

22:50

me. And it's non toxic and

22:52

it has a pink cap and I love it.

22:54

It's been really good to me so I do

22:56

recommend getting the dapple baby bottle

22:58

and dish soap liquid

23:01

dish soap. And they have it at Target. It's also

23:03

my Amazon store. Now,

23:05

the company legendary milk, you've probably

23:07

heard of It's spelled like Legend Dairy, DAIRY

23:10

It's a really cute company with really

23:13

cute branding and packaging. They

23:16

sell parts for breast pumps that

23:18

are aftermarket. If

23:21

you have a spectra, like

23:23

me, and I believe they fit one of the

23:25

other pumps as well, but don't quote me.

23:28

They make their own duct bill

23:30

valves that are pink and they

23:32

have this little extra part that you can

23:34

pull them off without messing up the

23:36

duck bill and that's ten dollars

23:38

or a pack of six of them. They're

23:40

great. And they go on sale some time, so maybe they'll

23:42

have a Beaut Friday or something. I

23:44

definitely think you should get those if you have a

23:46

specter

23:46

pump. They also make

23:49

supplements.

23:50

One of the supplements that

23:52

they make is the sunflower lecithin,

23:54

and I'm probably saying that wrong.

23:57

I started taking this because at the beginning, as

23:59

I've discussed, I was having postpartum anxiety. I

24:01

was like, I was so worried about my milk

24:03

supply. It was one of the biggest things that

24:05

was stressing me out, like, am I gonna have milk? Am

24:08

I gonna have enough milk? Am I gonna have enough milk? Because my milk gonna come in. I've

24:10

just had so many friends have

24:12

difficulty breastfeeding because, again, it

24:14

is very very

24:15

difficult. If you have a friend who's

24:18

breastfeeding or your partner's breastfeeding,

24:20

give them a big hug and

24:24

just it's a lot. It's really

24:27

hard. So I started taking the

24:29

sunflower lecithin very

24:31

early on, and I haven't had

24:33

any supply problems. I'm

24:35

very lucky maybe it's because of

24:37

this. They make a lot of other

24:39

supplements too, and all of them are Fenu

24:41

Greek free. Which

24:43

if you have any kind of thyroid

24:45

issue, then you Greek can be very

24:47

hard on your thyroid and can affect

24:50

your med vacation. So I'm on thyroid medication. I

24:52

have Hashimoto's and

24:54

hypothyroidism. So I can't take

24:56

anything with Fanyue Greek. And a lot

24:58

of the supplements that are supposed

25:00

to help you with breastfeeding, have

25:02

fenugreek in them. All the legendary

25:04

milk products have no fenugreek.

25:06

So They're great. I love their

25:08

stuff. I love their sunflower lecithin.

25:10

It's worked really well for me. And

25:12

the other thing that I really think has

25:14

helped my supply is water.

25:17

Now everyone warned me that when you

25:19

breastfeed, you have a thirst of

25:21

a thousand minute. You you're

25:23

just so thirsty. I

25:26

drink so much water now and

25:28

even if I'm not thirsty,

25:30

I basically force myself

25:32

to drink water. And the

25:35

reason that it's easier

25:37

for me is that I have a giant one

25:39

gallon water jug next to me

25:41

at all times. And it's in my

25:44

Amazon store. I I talked about it on

25:46

Instagram the other day. It's twenty

25:47

dollars. It's this one gallon water bottle

25:49

with this big

25:50

straw. And if I was living my

25:52

best life, I would literally have one in every room

25:54

and I would hire a waiter to come

25:56

in and just fill it every day.

25:59

It it helps so much with the milk production

26:01

to just have so much water and

26:03

having it there conveniently

26:06

will incentivize you to drink

26:08

it, which again will make the milk.

26:10

It's been such a help having

26:12

that giant jug. I am so happy I

26:14

bought that jug. It's a really

26:16

wonderful gift that maybe your

26:18

pregnant friend doesn't know they need yet.

26:20

I always ask first,

26:23

do you think you are gonna try rice feeding?

26:26

And they'll either say yes or no. If they say

26:28

yes, it's worth the it's worth the

26:30

shot to give them some of these things. If they

26:32

say no, then go great and move on and get

26:34

them a boppy or something else, you

26:36

know. So I love

26:38

this one gallon water jug

26:40

I think everyone should get one even,

26:42

even non nursing parents.

26:44

It's so nice when your baby

26:46

is asleep on you.

26:49

And you're stuck there to

26:51

have a big bottle of water next to you for

26:53

you to replenish yourself. It would

26:55

be a great present, honestly, for

26:57

all parents. So there's that.

26:59

And y'all have all seen on

27:01

my Instagram that I stack my

27:03

pregnancy pillows. I stack

27:05

them. It's just so much easier on

27:07

your back. Especially if you don't

27:09

have giant boobs.

27:12

My boobs have gotten a lot bigger

27:14

from the milk, but

27:17

they're not big, big,

27:19

big, so I needed my baby to be

27:21

right up to Tidy level, like nipple

27:23

level. If you do have larger

27:25

breasts, then you might not need two

27:27

pillows, but I stacked the poppy and the breast

27:29

friend and then put the baby on top and

27:31

it was a perfect level even four

27:33

months old when he's big. It still works great for me.

27:35

So I think if you're thinking about getting

27:37

a feeding pillow, get to.

27:40

And feeding pillows are wonderful for

27:42

all parents that feed the

27:45

baby with bottles, with breasts, with

27:47

everything. So and the

27:49

last thing I'm gonna talk

27:51

about with breastfeeding is

27:53

a couple of friends of mine started

27:55

a company called SWell, and

27:57

that is spelled SW

28:01

EHL. And it is a

28:03

resource that gives parents

28:05

and their partners a better

28:07

trip on the breastfeeding journey.

28:09

Their website is swell dot com,

28:12

SWEHL dot com,

28:14

and at swell on

28:16

Instagram and TikTok. Now, this company is

28:18

just starting. I was one of the founding

28:20

members, but it is

28:22

a platform for education

28:24

and community around feeding.

28:27

They have this large library

28:29

of feeding videos.

28:32

They're extremely helpful and

28:34

thoughtful. They cover so many

28:36

things I would get an email from them every

28:38

week. You put in the due date of your baby or

28:40

when your baby was born, and then you start

28:42

getting an email every week.

28:45

And this email hit every week. I would

28:47

read the email and I would cry and be like,

28:49

that's exactly what I'm going through. How did

28:51

they know? It's just extremely thoughtful email

28:53

that has links to videos with

28:56

experts talking. It's a really

28:58

wonderful company that's starting

29:00

to grow right now. And

29:02

it's just a place for support

29:04

and education. And all of that is free

29:06

for everyone right now. The

29:08

video library is free.

29:12

And starting in twenty twenty

29:14

three, there's gonna be more things.

29:16

There's gonna be a

29:18

kit that you can have that comes with

29:20

lots of items in it. And I'll say some of the

29:22

items that I was just discussing with

29:24

y'all, I actually learned about through the

29:26

swell education and through

29:28

the community. was a founding

29:30

member, they sent me a kit.

29:32

And they got on the Zoom with me, and they walked

29:34

me through the kit. And the two founders

29:36

are both moms. And they went

29:39

through the whole kit with me. It had the

29:41

legendary milk sunflower supplement.

29:43

It had this silver nipple covers. It had

29:46

a hawka. In it, and lots of other

29:48

goodies. They had the nursing shields,

29:50

things like that. And they walked me

29:52

through every single product. And then

29:54

at the end, there were questions I

29:56

was like, which should I bring to the hospital with

29:58

me? And they all said, bring your silver nipple cups

30:00

to the hospital. They're the reason I did

30:02

that. They're the reason

30:05

that I found

30:05

out about this product, and the

30:08

Haka, and the legendary Milk

30:10

brand, and the supplements. It was just a

30:12

lovely environment. And if anyone

30:14

out there to get a little

30:16

bit more support around breastfeeding. I

30:18

highly recommend checking out Swell and

30:20

the Swell community. So go ahead and

30:22

check that out and it might be something that would be

30:24

a nice again, gift for a

30:26

friend if your friend is interested in

30:28

breastfeeding or interested in trying breastfeeding.

30:30

So I just wanted to shout out my friends company,

30:32

Swell again SWEHL

30:35

I'm not being paid, but I really

30:37

enjoy the community. And I really again

30:39

think those emails just

30:42

really helped. I remember the second week one,

30:44

discussed baby blues. And I

30:46

read it out loud to Ben, and I was like crying.

30:48

And he's like, that kinda sounds like

30:50

what you've you're going through right

30:52

now. And I just was like, how do they

30:54

know? How do they know? So it was

30:56

lovely. Okay. We're moving on from the

30:58

breastfeeding. I think I said everything I needed

31:00

to say. I just wanna say

31:02

to all the mommies out there that this is a

31:04

very hard job. And you

31:06

gotta do what's best for you and

31:08

your family. There are pluses and

31:10

minuses to breastfeeding. One

31:12

of the things that I

31:14

think is really wonderful about

31:16

formula is that anyone can give the

31:18

baby their formula at any point, and that

31:21

can give a lot of freedom to

31:23

mommy to get rest, to

31:25

take better care of herself, to

31:27

do self care, to go

31:29

back to work, whatever we all have

31:31

to do. And it's

31:34

so empowering to do that. It's so

31:36

empowering to be the

31:38

best mom you can be and make those

31:40

decisions for your family. And

31:42

so 2 that I say, all the

31:44

mummies out there, you are doing a good job

31:46

and whatever decision you make is the

31:48

right decision. Done

31:50

done done honey. Oh, yeah.

31:54

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it should

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be. I'm back high

36:11

testing, testing. So to

36:13

fill everybody in and be transparent.

36:16

That all was recorded months

36:18

ago. Here we are

36:20

December twenty

36:22

twenty two. 2 I'm

36:24

sitting down to finish this

36:25

episode. About a month and a half has

36:28

passed, which in newborn time,

36:30

it's a lifetime. A lifetime has

36:32

gone by since I first corded

36:33

that. Sandy is now

36:36

almost six months old and

36:38

is an absolute pure delight in

36:40

my life in every

36:42

single way. I just can't get enough of him. He's the best person I've ever

36:44

met. So I just want to be

36:46

transparent about that because

36:48

things change so quickly when you have

36:50

a kid. And I'm going to finish

36:52

this episode now. And I feel

36:54

like the vibe is gonna be completely

36:56

different, and my answers are probably gonna be

36:58

completely different because I have more

37:00

perspective on shit. That I had when

37:02

I recorded this. So let's dive

37:04

back into the questions

37:06

that I have still not answered, that

37:08

y'all sent me months and months ago.

37:10

I have to find them because damn it's been a ass minute.

37:12

Okay. The next question somebody

37:14

asked me is how often

37:17

do you bathe

37:18

him? Fascinating

37:22

question. I don't know if

37:23

this is controversial. I don't know if this is

37:25

a hot topic amongst

37:27

the parenting world. once

37:30

again, I will never judge another

37:32

mom. I will never judge another woman.

37:34

But there are such different schools of

37:36

thought about every single decision

37:38

that you make. When you are a

37:40

parent. And if you go on the

37:42

Internet, you're gonna find a

37:44

completely conflicting opinion on

37:46

every

37:47

fucking thing So I'll gladly share this information

37:49

with y'all.

37:50

Currently, my son takes

37:52

a bath twice a week. We

37:56

do bath time on Thursday night, and we

37:58

do bath time on Sunday

38:00

night. That might change because he

38:02

absolutely

38:03

loves

38:03

the bath. But there's several reasons why

38:06

I'm only bathing him twice a

38:08

week. Number one, listen, we're

38:10

having a real bad drought

38:12

in California. And although he's a

38:14

very small little person,

38:16

I cut back in water where I can. I

38:18

don't pay that often. As we've

38:20

discussed on the attribute, so he's not bidding

38:22

that much. Number two, once

38:24

again because of the neglect that I

38:26

personally feel I received as a child in

38:28

some regards I

38:30

am a pretty high strong

38:32

mom and I'm really neurotic

38:34

about a lot of things dealing with Sandy

38:36

and his

38:38

health. And I don't wanna fuck up his microbiome. I don't

38:40

wanna overcleanse him as

38:42

I feel that was done a lot

38:44

to some of us. I

38:47

don't wanna 2 him. He's a little

38:49

baby. He doesn't run out in the yard.

38:51

He doesn't sweat. He doesn't go out

38:53

and get dirty. So he doesn't need to be cleansed all

38:55

the time. Now he does love the

38:58

water, so there is something to maybe letting

39:00

him splashy splashy in

39:02

the water. More often

39:04

than that. But that's where we're at

39:06

2 times a week. I talk to some

39:08

moms who pay their kid every two weeks.

39:10

I talk to moms who pay their kid

39:12

every night. So like I said, it really

39:15

runs the gamut on how often you bathe your

39:17

kid, but that's what we're doing currently.

39:20

Twice, twice a week. His favorite

39:22

products are his pipette

39:25

bubble bath, his

39:27

pipette bomb, his pipette

39:30

lotion, source for tall actually made him his own

39:32

body oil that he loves.

39:34

It says on the bottle, Sandy's

39:36

body oil. Y'all might know

39:40

that source metallic cherry. They have all of those customized

39:42

facial oils, customized beard oil,

39:44

things like that. They have a customized body

39:48

oil, and Sandy's already an influencer. He got sent a

39:50

custom Sandy oil. That's very

39:52

mild and has just a little lavender in

39:54

it, so

39:56

he enjoys his little lavender foot oil rubs

39:58

after his baths. So check

40:00

that out if y'all are interested

40:04

in that. Next question. How to financially plan for

40:06

a baby and after baby is

40:08

born? This is an

40:10

absolutely great

40:12

question. Listen

40:14

y'all, babies are expensive

40:16

as fuck. Expensive as fuck.

40:18

And not only are babies expensive,

40:20

fucking pregnancy is expensive as fuck.

40:24

I currently have private

40:26

insurance, meaning I pay

40:28

for it myself. I don't have

40:32

a job that pays for

40:34

my insurance or has an insurance

40:36

plan for me. So I pay for private

40:38

insurance, which is very

40:40

expensive. And The more money

40:42

you give them for

40:43

coverage, the better your plan

40:46

is. Meaning, it will

40:48

cover more. So Beaut

40:49

and I decided since I was pregnant, we should up our coverage because I was

40:51

going to the doctor so 2.

40:53

And so the insurance is very

40:55

expensive. Even upping

40:58

it a lot of shit wasn't covered.

41:00

So my advice to all the pregnant people listening to

41:02

this or future pregnant people

41:04

listening to this, you 2 call

41:08

which is gonna be so annoying, obviously getting somebody

41:10

on the phone and dealing with all that.

41:12

You gotta call your insurance and

41:16

firm that shit is gonna be covered before

41:18

you do

41:19

it. I did not do

41:21

this.

41:21

I did a very

41:24

expensive When

41:26

I was pregnant called the CVS

41:29

test, which if you are

41:31

of advanced maternal age, it

41:34

can be recommended

41:36

to you depending on your healthcare

41:38

provider, your pregnancy, etcetera. And it's

41:40

essentially I

41:41

mean, I spread my legs. They suck a giant needle

41:43

up by pussy. And they pulled

41:45

some fluid out of the amniotic sac. If you've ever

41:48

heard of

41:48

an amniothesis, this is sort of the

41:50

new and vogue version of that.

41:54

Now I regret doing this

41:55

test. Everyone

41:58

out there, you're on your

42:02

own journey, This is all covered in by

42:04

Emily Osser, by the way. She also chose to

42:06

do one. This is all covered in there 2

42:08

the stats on it and things.

42:12

Looking back my first OB, the one

42:15

I had to leave because she doesn't

42:17

deliver babies. She was

42:19

like, I don't think you need to do

42:22

this and

42:22

did not recommend that

42:23

I did it. However,

42:26

I got a little in my

42:28

head and was nervous and decided

42:30

to do

42:30

it. This

42:31

test cost nine thousand

42:34

dollars and my insurance didn't

42:36

cover it. And I didn't

42:38

know that until after I did

42:39

it. Learn for my mistake. I

42:42

also did a few of the scans

42:44

which are recommended

42:46

and pretty sure their standard procedure

42:48

when they do the high def scans of your

42:50

Beaut, and you get to see their little face

42:53

in the

42:53

womb. My insurer is barely

42:56

covered that, which was

42:59

very

42:59

expensive. I will also just tell you

43:02

that my birth was thirty two thousand dollars. I didn't

43:04

pay that, but when I got the bill, that's

43:06

what it was for. Thirty two

43:08

thousand dollars.

43:12

My birth was, what do they call it, a

43:14

normal vaginal birth, something like that.

43:16

And I stayed in the hospital two 2.

43:21

My friend had a c section, her

43:23

bill was eighty thousand. So

43:25

if you don't have insurance

43:27

and you're pregnant, I hope you can get something going

43:29

and that you can figure this out because the last

43:32

thing I would want my honey's is to

43:34

be stuck with bills

43:36

like this. Health care in this

43:38

country. We don't even need to have that conversation. We

43:40

all know it's a damn

43:42

mess. So if you are listening to this in

43:44

your uninsured get yourself

43:46

some insurance right now.

43:48

Right now. Go on healthcare dot

43:50

gov in the marketplace, get you

43:52

a plan, even if it's a a cheaper

43:54

shitty plan just for something catastrophic to happen to you. Your

43:56

mommy, your auntie Jackie j is recommending all my

43:59

honey's get some insurance. I feel like there

44:01

were a couple years in my 20s

44:03

where I was uninsured, just don't do that. Y'all,

44:05

get some damn insurance. So

44:10

the other thing to think about is that baby shit is really

44:12

expensive. And your baby unfortunately

44:14

needs a lot of shit.

44:17

The diapers, the what

44:20

I call receptacles, which is the places that

44:22

you put your baby when you're not holding

44:25

it, the clothes, all the gadgets and Gizmos

44:28

that it it adds

44:30

up.

44:30

I will say this, you can

44:34

borrow slash

44:36

get a lot of shit for cheap

44:38

or free on Facebook. I'm

44:40

in my buy nothing group on Facebook there

44:42

are always people ditching their baby gear because they are

44:45

done having children and they've realized

44:47

they have a giant stash

44:50

of baby shit that they don't need anymore and they

44:52

wanna just dump it.

44:54

So you can get free shit. I have friends

44:56

who gave

44:58

me free swings, free, what,

45:00

bumbo chairs, all this crap. And

45:02

I'm so lucky that that happened.

45:05

My friend's Nathan Natch, shout

45:07

out Nathan Allen. They gave me

45:09

a bunch of diapers that they ended up not

45:11

using because they ordered the wrong size. They gave me all

45:13

the clothes for both of sons that they're too big

45:15

for now. They you got a it takes a

45:17

village. I'll hashtag it takes a

45:19

village. This is when you build the village. This

45:21

is when you call on

45:24

the village. Okay? So if you don't wanna buy all this shit

45:26

for your baby, you

45:28

gotta ask and you

45:30

gotta hunt. And you can do

45:32

it for pretty cheap if you used

45:34

used things. And I know some of you are

45:36

like, that might be discussing. I don't wanna use a

45:38

used bassinet

45:40

or something. Remember, children need germs in order

45:42

to build up their immune 2. So you can

45:44

wash things and they can use

45:46

a used toy, not

45:48

necessarily a toy. They can

45:50

use a used chair.

45:53

You know? So

45:55

there you go. Now I

45:58

will say having financial

46:00

stability with a child

46:03

is extremely comforting So if

46:06

you find yourself pregnant and you're

46:08

like, oh, no. I don't have any money,

46:10

but I really want a child, you'll figure

46:12

it out. Everything's gonna

46:14

be okay. Beaut it is nice to know that I have

46:16

worked hard and felt like I

46:18

was in a good spot in my life where I could

46:20

pay for some damp diapers and

46:22

things like

46:24

that. Then there's the whole school system in

46:26

schools, and I don't even wanna get into

46:28

that. That's coming up around the

46:31

corner for

46:32

us. Here's what I'll also say, childcare

46:34

is not cheap, and

46:36

I am not that person that

46:39

has a grandma

46:42

or grandpa that is retired,

46:44

that lives nearby. I don't

46:46

have that. If you are also

46:48

that person and you have a

46:51

job or career, then guess what? You

46:53

now have to pay someone to watch your

46:55

child for you while you do

46:57

your

46:57

job. I knew this, but it didn't

46:59

really hit me until I was in

47:02

the position. So

47:04

you're gonna have to budget for 2.

47:08

And it's not cheap. So that's

47:10

something that you need to think about

47:13

and plan. In terms of

47:16

financially planning more formally.

47:18

I'm not a spreadsheet gal. I'm kind

47:20

of a mess in that regard. That's

47:22

more of Ben's thing. So Yes,

47:25

you and your partner need to discuss finances

47:28

Natch sure. And sit down

47:30

and figure out what you have,

47:32

what you're gonna have, the budget

47:34

for all of these things I'm discussing. I

47:36

think that would be great to do before he doesn't

47:38

pull out. You know what I

47:42

mean? Before before that.

47:44

So good luck to everybody. Okay,

47:46

next. What products do

47:48

you use on baby nache? Congrats.

47:51

I just went over this a little Like

47:53

I said, Sandy loves pipette. On an

47:56

episode that will probably never

47:58

come out, where Ben answers his questions for y'all. And the

48:00

reason it's not gonna come out is

48:02

because we recorded it way too

48:04

early on

48:06

and we Beaut both extremely tired and I just don't think it's very

48:08

good radio to me honest. So that'll

48:10

probably never come out. So I'm

48:12

gonna reveal a couple things.

48:15

That Natch likes.

48:17

My diaper routine

48:20

is pretty flawless. We have

48:22

had no

48:24

diaper rash. The pediatrician even commended me for the

48:26

lack of diaper rash we have had.

48:28

And I do think it is because I am

48:30

using the perfect trifecta of

48:32

baby products. So I'm gonna share

48:34

those with y'all. First

48:36

is the coterie diaper.

48:38

Coterie diapers are fucking

48:41

expensive as shit. They are

48:43

expensive as shit. They are so much

48:46

more expensive than any other diaper

48:48

I've

48:49

seen.

48:50

They're a hundred dollars for a one month

48:53

supply. Now, I've been to Target

48:55

and I've perused the diaper section. I don't

48:57

see any other diapers

49:00

that expense I have used other diapers

49:02

and I don't think they compare.

49:04

They're just not as soft. They're not

49:06

as absorbent. If

49:08

someone out there wants to check me and tell me I'm wrong, please

49:11

do. But the coterie diapers

49:13

are extremely thick and soft and

49:15

oh my god, do they hold

49:18

pissed? They hold pissed like no one's business.

49:20

So and most of

49:22

mine were bought for me from my

49:26

registry Street Beaut I'm extremely blessed and I have generous friends

49:28

and family. So there you

49:30

go that that expense wasn't necessarily

49:33

something that was right out of

49:35

my pocket. The coterie

49:38

diapers are so absorbent and nice that

49:40

they hold that piece and that piece is what's

49:42

gonna give your baby diaper rash when it's up

49:44

against their skin. Their skin is

49:46

so beautiful. By the way, it is

49:48

just pristine. It is so soft

49:51

and beautiful and pristine. And that

49:53

cheek is a softest little cheek

49:56

I've ever felt in my life. And his and

49:58

I mean his face cheeks. His ass cheeks

50:00

are the same, but they're just they're

50:02

just the most delightful little people. So

50:05

the coterie diapers, number

50:07

one. Number two, water

50:09

wipes. Water wipes. I was told

50:11

about the water wipes. Get

50:14

you the

50:16

water wipes. Don't even

50:18

fuck with any other wipe as far as I'm

50:20

concerned. The water wipes

50:23

are pure. They're just I

50:25

think they're water in a tiny tiny

50:27

bit of a tiny little bit of, like, some kind of oil

50:29

or something. They're they're

50:31

just pristine because when

50:34

I think about baby wipes, I think about the ones that I

50:36

had on me when I was little, I think of the

50:38

ones that I used when I was changing my little

50:42

cousins diapers. They just felt real chemically like the smell.

50:44

And I feel like when you rub them against your

50:46

skin, your skin kinda itch. He's like, they

50:48

just have a bunch of shit

50:50

in them. These water wipes are

50:52

pure. So they do the job. They

50:54

clean up, but they

50:56

don't leave anything behind. They're

50:58

incredible.

50:59

So get you those water wipes, those rotary

51:02

diapers. And

51:02

my diaper cream of

51:05

choice is the la

51:08

petite cream. La

51:10

Petit Crem. I had never heard of

51:12

this before. My friend

51:14

Laura Youngkin, the influencer behind

51:16

the influencer. Her friend is a

51:18

NICU nurse, and she told her to get

51:20

lot petite crème. So I do everything

51:22

L'Orealka says, so I did two. Let me

51:24

tell you something. No diaper

51:26

rash. None. So I

51:28

have their organic diaper bomb,

51:30

and I have their diapering lotion. And

51:32

I use them on Sandy, and it

51:35

works great. He's had never had any diaper rash

51:37

at once. I will say this Radhika

51:39

is not vegan. It has beeswax

51:42

in it, which I didn't know at the time I do like to buy

51:44

vegan products, but I'm just gonna be

51:46

dead as honest with y'all because

51:48

I'm getting such good results I'm

51:51

going to keep using it. And I do

51:54

recommend it to y'all. It's it is not an

51:56

American company, so let's just hope that the

51:58

Beaut were treated very nicely. Where

52:00

they where they get the wax from. I will

52:02

work on finding a vegan substitute. I

52:04

do also really like the pipette bomb.

52:06

I use that for other things I've

52:09

used that on Sandy's cheeks. He was

52:12

having teething rash for a while,

52:14

but it's finally going away. It is a

52:16

great product, and it is

52:18

available on Amazon. They do have it

52:20

looks like they have a subscription model on their

52:22

own website, lapate cream

52:24

dot com, but it's great. I really

52:27

like it. And I do recommend this trifecta

52:29

because my baby has had no diaper

52:31

rash. I will also say one of my

52:33

favorite products is the

52:36

Oogie Bear baby

52:39

boogie remover. I

52:41

was watching shark tank reruns one night

52:43

and I saw this product on

52:45

shark tank and I literally bought it during

52:47

the pitch because those little

52:49

baby nostrils are so small and I

52:51

see a boogie in Sandy's nose and

52:53

I'm like, I gotta that out. How do I

52:55

get it out? For a while, I was using a q

52:58

tip, which was too big and

53:00

not working. Get an

53:02

Oogie Bear booger scoop for everyone who's pregnant and you're

53:04

alive because it is a product I didn't know

53:06

about and I love it and Beaut, I use it

53:08

every single day. And apparently, you can

53:10

use it up until

53:12

the child is bigger,

53:14

walking around and talking. So

53:16

get an Oogie Bear boogie SCOOP. They're

53:19

great. Okay. Next question, has your

53:21

beauty routine changed since becoming

53:23

a cookie southern

53:26

mommy? Honey, what beauty routine? What beauty routine?

53:28

I get it now. Okay?

53:30

I get it now. So

53:32

much is flash before my eyes

53:36

of my past. I remember I was visiting my sister who has

53:38

two kids. I think this is when she only had

53:40

one still, and she was using frozen spinach

53:42

to make dinner. And I remember

53:45

I was like, Why don't you just buy new spinach? And

53:47

she was like, because I'm fucking busy and

53:50

tired. And this

53:52

is faster. And I

53:54

said to her like a little fucking asshole.

53:57

I

53:57

said, it's not that much work.

54:00

You just chop up spinach and

54:02

wash it. I

54:03

get it now. Being a

54:06

mom is tiring as fuck.

54:08

Okay? Being a parent is

54:10

tiring as fuck. You don't have

54:12

time anymore. If I have

54:14

any second to myself,

54:16

do you think I wanna be in the bathroom doing

54:18

a full as beauty routine? Absolutely not.

54:21

That is the last thing I want to be doing with

54:23

my extra time. So my

54:25

beauty routine has suffered.

54:27

It has suffered. I also

54:29

am breastfeeding, so I can't use a lot

54:32

of the products that I used to use.

54:34

I can't

54:36

use retinols, I'm I'm

54:38

being extremely careful about everything

54:40

I'm putting on myself

54:42

even down to my damn deodorant. I'm I'm

54:44

being very careful in terms of just, oh, what

54:46

if I accidentally use my lime scent and

54:48

Sandy doesn't like it and then he won't breastfeed.

54:50

Like, it's a whole thing. So To

54:52

be honest, my beauty routine has taken a back

54:55

shelf in my life. I have

54:57

products that I like that make me

54:59

feel like a human being, And

55:02

I'll just run through a few of those right now.

55:04

The the doo skin

55:06

under eye reusable masks.

55:08

Thank God for that product.

55:11

Currently, under them, I am using the

55:13

good molecules, YERMOMATA

55:16

IJEL. And then I'm

55:19

doing one serum a moisturizer. And

55:22

if I wanna just look in the mirror

55:24

and not feel sad about myself, I will

55:26

do a little concealer I'm

55:29

still using tarte shape tape because I just have it

55:31

and I love it and it's thick as hell

55:33

and honey. Those bags need all the help they

55:35

can get these days. The Thrive

55:38

Cosmetics mascara, a little

55:40

good mineral blush, a little good

55:42

mineral highlighter. If I

55:44

do foundation, I will

55:46

probably use my say beauty tinted

55:47

moisturizer, and that's honestly

55:50

all I got right now. That's

55:52

about all I got

55:53

right now. At night,

55:56

I love an oil cleanse. I'll do a serum and a cream,

55:58

and I'll get in that damn bed. I

56:00

probably do need more, but I don't

56:03

have the time and it's just

56:05

not really my priority right now. When I'm

56:07

done breastfeeding, which I'm trying to go a year, as I

56:10

said earlier, I'm trying to go

56:12

till June of twenty

56:14

twenty three. Give

56:16

or take a month or so depending on how the weaning goes

56:18

and whatnot, I'm going to

56:21

celebrate by getting the

56:24

Morpheus eight laser treatment at the

56:26

dermatologist. And

56:28

I had a DM with one of y'all

56:30

about it and y'all were singing its praises

56:33

very highly because I talked about

56:35

it on Allison Rosen's show. That's what I'm gonna

56:37

do to treat my damn 2, and

56:40

I'm hoping that that can help offset some of the

56:42

fatigue I'm feeling in

56:44

my face from this whole

56:48

experience. Currently, it's just taking a backseat to the other

56:50

things in my life. Being a mommy,

56:52

raising a child, enjoying, and

56:54

soaking up every minute

56:56

I can his

56:58

babyhood Beaut I think I'm only gonna

57:00

have one child. So I

57:02

just want every second to be with him

57:04

that I

57:06

can have. And creaming up my neck as best I

57:08

can, but not prioritizing it.

57:10

If I'm being

57:12

damn honest, hot tips for

57:14

first time in Wannabe moms over

57:16

thirty or thirty five. Niche

57:18

influencer

57:18

takes. That's a loaded

57:20

question 2 be honest. First

57:23

time in Wannabe moms over thirty

57:25

or over

57:26

thirty five. It's easy for me

57:29

to sit here and tell you to not

57:31

worry about your fertility because I

57:33

had no issues with mine, but I also know

57:35

that is an extremely privileged thing

57:37

to say. So I'm not

57:39

gonna go as far as

57:41

to say that. As I've discussed on this show, it has run

57:43

the gamut in my life. I've had friends have

57:46

a really hard time getting

57:47

pregnant. I've had friends get

57:49

pregnant very easily.

57:52

So

57:52

my instinct is to tell

57:55

you not to worry when

57:57

the time is right for you,

57:59

the time will happen. Not

58:01

to stress. And like I said earlier,

58:03

don't have a baby with the bad

58:05

boyfriend because you want a baby. Please don't

58:07

do that. I'll just say that

58:09

take your life one day at a time, chase

58:12

your joy

58:13

unapologetically, and your life is

58:16

a lot less limited

58:18

than you think it is. Unlimited.

58:26

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59:22

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59:24

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59:26

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59:28

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59:30

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59:49

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59:51

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Somebody says, what's the chair you were rocking

1:02:10

in? When

1:02:12

I told y'all that I needed questions. I was sitting in the baby's

1:02:14

nursery, and I was sitting in the

1:02:16

chair I got for the nursery.

1:02:18

It's a

1:02:19

fine chair.

1:02:19

I like it.

1:02:22

But as I mentioned in my giving birth

1:02:24

episode, the

1:02:25

chair arrived broken and it was

1:02:28

extremely hard to get another one and

1:02:30

it was whole goddamn thing. So I'm not even gonna tell the

1:02:32

chair I'm in. It was where is

1:02:34

it from pottery barn? So pottery

1:02:36

barn in their nursery section,

1:02:40

It's a fine chair. I think we could have done better.

1:02:43

So I would buy that one if I were

1:02:46

y'all. I would get one with

1:02:48

an Ottoman

1:02:49

You can always take the ottoman out if

1:02:51

you don't need it anymore, but there

1:02:53

were many days where my baby

1:02:55

was asleep on me for hours and hours,

1:02:57

and I would have I put my feet

1:02:59

2. I had to bring an ottoman in from another chair. An ottoman would

1:03:01

have been nice. I think the reclining feature

1:03:03

would be nice. Having

1:03:05

a phone charger built into the chair

1:03:08

would have been nice. These are all things my chair

1:03:10

doesn't have. So things

1:03:12

to 2. When you searching

1:03:14

for a chair for your

1:03:15

nursery. Okay. Somebody says nursing products,

1:03:18

bras, pads, what to wear when nursing that's

1:03:20

somewhat

1:03:21

cute. Lauren Lapkus and I were crying,

1:03:24

laughing the other day about how

1:03:26

hideously ugly nursing bras

1:03:28

are, and

1:03:30

that when she was done nursing, she kept wearing them because they

1:03:33

were comfortable. And Arden Marine, who's been on edge

1:03:35

view, had to have an intervention with her about

1:03:37

stop wearing the ugly bras and

1:03:40

go buy some good new beautiful bras that you deserve because, you know, our

1:03:42

bodies change. I don't know if I'll ever fit

1:03:44

into my old bras again. I don't know.

1:03:46

It's a

1:03:48

racket. They charge so much money for these items, and

1:03:50

they are necessary. I look forward

1:03:52

to the day where I don't have to wear a

1:03:54

bra with two hinges on the sides.

1:03:57

That is ugly and dingy and makes

1:04:00

me feel sad. Right? Look at myself in

1:04:02

it. I look forward to that 2, but

1:04:04

this is my life right now.

1:04:06

I have to have my titties out all the time, and

1:04:08

they need to be out very 2. So

1:04:10

I can't really help you

1:04:14

with this. Kindred bravely, which is

1:04:16

very expensive. There's one bra from

1:04:18

there that I got that is my favorite of all

1:04:20

of them because it is semi cute and I wear

1:04:22

it all the time.

1:04:24

It has razor back and it's pink, of course. And

1:04:26

when all my nursing browser out,

1:04:28

I've just washed them all. I

1:04:30

always grab the pink one and

1:04:32

the purple one first because those are the

1:04:34

colors that make me

1:04:36

happy. So that's my tip I

1:04:38

guess. Beaut the colors that are

1:04:40

gonna bring you joy in your

1:04:42

life. You need it everywhere you can

1:04:44

get it. Okay? So if if that

1:04:46

makes you happy to wear pink underneath

1:04:48

your clothes, get the pink one,

1:04:50

honey, get the purple one. But

1:04:52

unfortunately, nursing bras are

1:04:54

hideous and that is what

1:04:56

it is. Okay? Somebody says product you didn't expect to love

1:04:58

or need as much as you

1:05:00

do. The Oogie the

1:05:02

Oogie BearScope.

1:05:04

Definitely. Ben's cousin bought us a bunch

1:05:06

of Burpee clogs and

1:05:09

they're everywhere. Put them

1:05:12

everywhere. Beaut you never know where you'll be in the house when the baby

1:05:14

spits up on you, they're great.

1:05:16

And they basically just look like

1:05:20

really soft, plush towels,

1:05:23

little towels, get you some

1:05:25

burpy clogs and just throw them all

1:05:27

over your house every room. Every

1:05:30

corner. That's something that

1:05:32

I didn't When I opened it, I was

1:05:34

like, oh, this is nice, but no,

1:05:36

they're great. And I

1:05:38

plan on buying them for all my pregnant friends

1:05:40

now. The silhouette cups that

1:05:42

I've talked about many

1:05:44

times for your nips, definitely, I'm

1:05:46

still wearing those and I'm six months postpartum.

1:05:49

Love those. And I think

1:05:51

that answers the question. I'm gonna try

1:05:53

to get through the rest of these because there's only

1:05:55

a few left. Favorite food craving while

1:05:57

nursing, my baby is ten months and

1:05:59

I'm still fucking starving. I'm gonna say

1:06:01

the three trees, oat, and seed

1:06:04

milk, and

1:06:06

vegan flat

1:06:08

seed brownies. Next up, did you try any pad singles postpartum trying

1:06:10

for number two and suffered last

1:06:14

time? Good luck to you, honey.

1:06:16

I did not. I just used the

1:06:18

free to kit. But I also,

1:06:20

as y'all mostly know, famously,

1:06:22

I did not have any external tears.

1:06:25

So I feel my healing

1:06:27

was faster, and I didn't need

1:06:29

them. But God bless Pad Cycles. If you don't

1:06:31

know what a Pad Cycle is, it basically

1:06:34

a pad with aloe vera,

1:06:36

a little witch hazel. You

1:06:38

put them in the freezer. And

1:06:41

then you wear them while you recover from birth. You can

1:06:43

make them yourself. You can have

1:06:45

friends make them

1:06:47

for you. That would be a

1:06:49

fun shower activity, actually, a padcycled DIY padcycled a

1:06:52

booth. So I highly recommend having a

1:06:54

few in the freezer ready to go for you.

1:06:57

After you have your child. Alright. Next question,

1:07:00

what is a day in the life like? I'm

1:07:02

pregnant and honestly have no idea what

1:07:04

to 2. You've probably

1:07:06

given birth by now, dear

1:07:08

listener. So you probably figured it

1:07:10

out, but it was so much more

1:07:12

difficult than

1:07:14

I expected. The days are very long,

1:07:16

but now looking back on

1:07:18

the last five and a half months, they were

1:07:20

all very short because that time went

1:07:22

by so

1:07:24

fast. Your child changes every single

1:07:27

day drastically. And

1:07:31

it's really difficult in the moment to

1:07:34

appreciate that because you are so

1:07:36

exhausted and it's such

1:07:38

a transition. Beaut

1:07:40

I really hope everyone can do

1:07:42

that looking back. I wish I

1:07:44

had more. Take pictures, take video,

1:07:46

take so many pictures, take so much

1:07:48

video because that little person is only

1:07:51

gonna be a baby for a very short

1:07:53

amount of time in your life

1:07:55

and their life. That's not what you asked me, but there's

1:07:57

my two cents on that. A day in the life

1:08:00

is just you trapped under a

1:08:02

sleeping child.

1:08:04

Holding a little screaming person, figuring everything

1:08:07

out, exhausted, overwhelmed, mentally

1:08:10

having a

1:08:12

hard time, but it's

1:08:14

also a very magical

1:08:16

time. And I get

1:08:18

it now. I get it.

1:08:20

Next question. Are you pumping? What products do

1:08:22

you love? If you are? What schedule are you following? I'm doing five weeks. So you have also had

1:08:26

your child by now.

1:08:28

I hope everything's going for you. I think I talked about

1:08:30

this earlier when I did my whole thing on breastfeeding. I use

1:08:33

a Spectre one.

1:08:35

Love the machine. I

1:08:38

have a bunch of products in my Amazon storefront

1:08:40

of all the things I love.

1:08:42

I only pumped at night when

1:08:44

the baby was asleep and

1:08:46

started sleeping in longer

1:08:48

stretching. In order to keep up my

1:08:50

supply.

1:08:50

He's almost exclusively been fed for my body because I

1:08:52

get to be around him

1:08:55

and work from home. So

1:08:58

that's that. Currently, while Sandy is almost six months old,

1:09:01

he has

1:09:04

been sleeping seven to

1:09:06

seven, seven PM to seven AM since about four and a half, three and a

1:09:08

half months old.

1:09:11

I'm very lucky. His

1:09:13

night sleep has been really solid. So I chose at one point to

1:09:15

sleep through night myself

1:09:17

and not wake up

1:09:19

and pump anymore.

1:09:22

That was an adjustment. I would wake up with

1:09:24

my tits choking me. They were so

1:09:26

high up and just spewing

1:09:29

milk everywhere all over myself. But that's where

1:09:31

I'm at currently. I still pump before I

1:09:33

go to

1:09:34

bed. And if I'm gone

1:09:36

away from him, I pump. But

1:09:38

that's it. Something you bought for baby and never use.

1:09:40

Sorry to the person who got

1:09:42

me 2. Somebody bought me

1:09:45

a white former and it never we

1:09:47

use it for about a week and nobody liked

1:09:49

it. So we got rid of it. It's in

1:09:51

the closet. I'm gonna give it away,

1:09:53

I think. Sandy likes regular

1:09:56

wipes. Like I said, the water

1:09:58

wipes. I use the oxo baby

1:10:00

wipe holder. I love it.

1:10:02

And we use those with regular

1:10:05

not warm wipes. Apparently, some

1:10:07

babies really enjoy the

1:10:09

warm but it wasn't working for us. You

1:10:11

have to plug it in. It's like one more goddamn thing to plug in. So no. Okay. Someone

1:10:13

says, how is your

1:10:16

mental health the

1:10:18

first year was the lowest I've ever

1:10:20

felt. It's okay to not be okay

1:10:22

and I love you. This is the

1:10:24

sweetest comment This is the sweetest comment.

1:10:26

I have an audition, so I really don't wanna smear my makeup and cry right now. I heard

1:10:28

on those culturitas, Betty Gilpin

1:10:30

was on. And she said, Before

1:10:36

having a child, I thought that I

1:10:38

was living on a scale from one to

1:10:40

ten. 2 that

1:10:42

I've had a kid, I realized I was

1:10:44

only living four to six.

1:10:46

That was so accurate that I cried

1:10:49

when I was listening to it. I was

1:10:51

actually pushing Sandy in the stroller listening to

1:10:53

that episode. You crack open when

1:10:55

you become a mom. You crack

1:10:57

open and spill out all

1:10:59

over the floor. Oh,

1:11:01

damn makeup. I'm gonna fix it. And that means that your heart

1:11:04

swells bigger

1:11:08

and fuller than you ever could imagine

1:11:10

it. And that means that you're gonna have a really

1:11:12

hard time as well, like

1:11:15

harder than you ever at

1:11:20

and so powerful

1:11:22

and beautiful. And

1:11:24

I'm

1:11:26

so honored am so honored that I now understand

1:11:28

and that I get

1:11:30

to have this journey the

1:11:33

hardest that I've ever

1:11:35

done. Was those first

1:11:35

four months, for sure,

1:11:38

having the child pushing

1:11:40

it out it growing

1:11:43

in my body, the hardest

1:11:46

thing I've ever done

1:11:49

slash the

1:11:52

most gratifying I get it now.

1:11:54

Motherhood is so isolating. Mommy's make this

1:11:59

world go round. And I never really

1:12:01

got that until I became one myself. So whoever

1:12:04

wrote this,

1:12:07

I love you, I'm so sorry that you

1:12:09

had such a rough time. I understand. I have also had a really

1:12:12

hard time. Y'all

1:12:15

give mommy's a hug. Okay? Give mommy's

1:12:17

a break. Give women a

1:12:19

break. If you see like

1:12:21

a cookie mom lady in

1:12:23

traffic and she cuts you off and

1:12:25

you're like, what a bitch or whatever. Give her a little grace. Maybe her kid

1:12:27

is screaming in the

1:12:30

back. Maybe her kid

1:12:33

is sick. Maybe her pussy's ripped open right now and she's

1:12:35

healing. We don't know. It has been such

1:12:39

a difficult, wild, beautiful

1:12:43

journey and

1:12:44

I get it now. That's all I

1:12:46

can

1:12:47

say. Okay. I'm gonna try to

1:12:49

finish these y'all. Biggest misconception about

1:12:51

becoming apparent now that you're on the other side.

1:12:53

As I said, I'm not gonna judge all their

1:12:56

moms. But

1:12:58

I will say this, the mommies on Instagram

1:13:00

that make their living,

1:13:02

being a mommy, that

1:13:05

wear a full face

1:13:07

of makeup and tight little yoga pants

1:13:10

and shake their baby around and talk about everything. I'm honestly

1:13:12

really happy for

1:13:15

them that their journey present

1:13:17

so happy and

1:13:18

easy. But y'all, this shit is hard. It's so much harder than

1:13:21

I thought

1:13:24

it was. And the Internet

1:13:26

can make it seem really glamorous and easy and

1:13:28

fun.

1:13:31

When it is none those things sometimes.

1:13:34

So be careful with

1:13:37

the media you consume postpartum.

1:13:39

It can really fuck with you

1:13:42

if you have anxiety issues

1:13:44

slash your spiraling mentally,

1:13:46

which the listener who wrote

1:13:48

in just last

1:13:50

comment about it was the

1:13:52

hardest, lowest they've ever felt. That's

1:13:54

real. That's the real tea right there.

1:13:57

And for all the women who do the doggy

1:13:59

on TikTok, you know, a week postpartum,

1:14:04

I'm happy for you, but that

1:14:06

ain't the reality that I have experienced. Okay?

1:14:08

I barely post on Instagram

1:14:10

anymore. I don't have the energy

1:14:13

slash, there's nothing exciting to show y'all. I'm just sitting around

1:14:15

with the baby sucking on my tent, you

1:14:18

know, in my damn

1:14:20

sweatpants. That's

1:14:22

a reality. So the misconception is that this is glamorous

1:14:24

and easy. It's definitely

1:14:26

not. Okay. Last two questions.

1:14:31

Y'all already fucked my so might as well keep

1:14:34

going. Okay. Last two questions.

1:14:37

Please Lord, what will happen to

1:14:39

my China will my stomach ever return to normal? Question mark

1:14:42

exclamation point. You know,

1:14:44

listen, hon. You

1:14:47

just don't know. But On

1:14:49

the other side, I was so

1:14:51

concerned about my body, a person who

1:14:55

has struggled with body issues

1:14:58

and things which most of us millennial women have, I was really concerned

1:15:00

about

1:15:04

how I would feel about my

1:15:06

body changing slash if my pussy is gonna rip as y'all all know.

1:15:11

And now that I'm on the other side, I'm almost

1:15:13

six months plus Beaut of,

1:15:15

I don't look

1:15:17

how I did before. I don't have the

1:15:20

time or the energy, quite

1:15:22

frankly, to commit to getting

1:15:24

my body

1:15:27

back to where it was. And and that's

1:15:29

fine. Once you've gone

1:15:31

through it, it just

1:15:33

your priorities change. I'm

1:15:36

not concerned currently about

1:15:38

quote unquote my body being back. It's just not something that I'm

1:15:44

concerned about. And if it

1:15:46

is, I'm not judging you. But once you're on the other side, I

1:15:48

feel a lot of

1:15:50

us just your priorities change.

1:15:54

So it's not a concern to me.

1:15:56

Some people look at Heidi Klum.

1:15:58

She's had four damn kids. You

1:16:01

know? You don't know how your

1:16:03

body is going to change if at all. I don't know. I

1:16:05

think the the quick answer

1:16:07

to your question is, your

1:16:11

baby will be worth whatever sacrifice

1:16:13

you have to make

1:16:15

in terms of your

1:16:18

physical body. And then perhaps

1:16:20

Perhaps you won't be as concerned about

1:16:22

it as you think you will. And time will tell. Time

1:16:25

will tell. It's

1:16:28

always discussed pushing back

1:16:30

on mommy bounce back

1:16:31

culture, and I one hundred percent am now

1:16:32

in that boat myself.

1:16:35

We all need to

1:16:39

stop with the mommy bounce back culture. This

1:16:41

shit is hard. And

1:16:43

the last thing that

1:16:46

I have energy for is to get

1:16:48

my size zero pants back on. You

1:16:51

know what I

1:16:51

mean? So that's my answer

1:16:54

to that. Good luck everybody on your

1:16:56

journeys because hashtag being

1:16:59

a mommy and easy

1:17:01

sometimes. Okay. Last question, and I

1:17:04

saved this question for last. Okay.

1:17:06

Is the lack of sleep and

1:17:08

routine

1:17:09

change worth it? Yes, it

1:17:12

is.

1:17:12

Yes, it is. My

1:17:15

prolapse vagina, my

1:17:17

busted pelvic floor,

1:17:19

my stretched out body getting no rest when sleep

1:17:22

was one of my favorite things

1:17:24

I've ever

1:17:26

had. The physical traumatic

1:17:28

pain, the mental

1:17:31

anguish, the existential

1:17:33

dread I

1:17:35

feel every day. The anxiety I've

1:17:37

had about what I'm gonna do with my life, not

1:17:40

knowing what

1:17:43

to do when I wanna do something,

1:17:45

but I can't now because I need somebody to watch my child for me. All of

1:17:48

those things

1:17:51

are worth it. Beaut this is the

1:17:53

greatest love I've ever known. Taking care of him is the

1:17:56

greatest joy

1:17:59

I've ever known. Looking in his little face

1:18:01

and watching him see the world and learn about the world. And

1:18:03

it's my

1:18:06

job to show him that. And seeing the love of my life's

1:18:08

eyes on this little

1:18:10

person, seeing my smile

1:18:14

on this little person,

1:18:16

you just you get to

1:18:18

relive your own childhood again through the eyes of someone that you made. It's

1:18:21

the greatest joy

1:18:23

I've ever known. I'm

1:18:26

loving it so much now. And

1:18:30

I've never felt

1:18:32

more of a

1:18:35

responsibility unimportance in anything I've ever done

1:18:37

in my entire life, and

1:18:39

it's an incredible feeling.

1:18:44

And I'm so happy and I look

1:18:46

around and sometimes I can't even believe that

1:18:50

I'm just lucky that I got the sweetest little buddy

1:18:52

in the world and I got to make

1:18:54

him with the person that I love

1:18:56

and that I have the

1:18:59

best dog and just a

1:19:01

beautiful beautiful life. I can't believe it. So yes, it's worth

1:19:04

it. Y'all fuck

1:19:06

my makeup up now.

1:19:11

I fucked all my makeup up.

1:19:13

I should not have put this on

1:19:15

before I record it.

1:19:18

It's all fucked up. This

1:19:20

dry mascara man, it it

1:19:22

just swishes off so easily when you

1:19:24

get it wet. So now I'm gonna

1:19:26

have to go Beaut do it. 2,

1:19:30

yes, it is worth it all. I get it now. I get it now. I get it now.

1:19:37

I'm

1:19:37

so so happy. All I wanna do is go see

1:19:39

what my little buddy's doing. I even miss him

1:19:42

when he's asleep at

1:19:44

2. So, yes,

1:19:46

it's worth it all. As I said earlier, your life ends, but you get a

1:19:51

new life. You get a new

1:19:54

life and my new life looks pretty damn good. I'm loving every second

1:19:59

of it now. But y'all Beaut

1:20:03

newborn stage ain't cute sometimes. Okay.

1:20:08

So, okay, I hope I

1:20:10

answered all y'all's questions. It's been really

1:20:13

wonderful for me to share this with everyone.

1:20:15

It's been very vulnerable, obviously. I

1:20:19

just hope it makes a difference. And I got

1:20:21

a lot of messages last

1:20:23

time from y'all expressing

1:20:26

your admiration for the show and me,

1:20:28

and I really honestly

1:20:30

appreciated it so much.

1:20:32

So thank you again for

1:20:35

that. Good luck to all my honey's out there on your journeys with

1:20:37

parenthood. There is no

1:20:40

love in this world like

1:20:42

a love a mommy has. There

1:20:44

isn't. I get

1:20:46

it now. I'm so honored that I get it now.

1:20:48

On that note, I'm going

1:20:50

to go redo my makeup 2

1:20:55

go to my Doritos audition. Oh.

1:21:02

Deserved to be happy. I'm talking to you. Don't forget to cream

1:21:05

your neck and

1:21:07

keep your face.