0:06

Hello and welcome to my therapist

0:09

ghosted me with Mievo, Williams

0:11

and Joanne McNally.

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We

0:21

are currently backstage in Glasgow about to go on

0:24

to our show but Jo likes us to work 100% of

0:26

the time all the time. Can

0:29

we eat Jo

0:29

or is that no? Sorry,

0:33

sorry. That was Jo ruining

0:36

the podcast.

0:38

Hindering our. She's trying to set up cameras.

0:42

We are doing my therapist goes to me live

0:44

in the Kings here in Glasgow. Glasgow.

0:47

It's Glasgow. I'll tell you

0:50

what I used to live. Sexiest accent alive.

0:53

I swear to God I've no interest in

0:55

like the Spanish accent. Something

0:57

kind of Latino like that. Not that I'm against

0:59

that culture.

1:00

Tell us how you really

1:02

feel. Oh God, here we go. I just find that accent

1:04

like some women find it really sexy. For me

1:07

it's Glaswegian. No, I like

1:09

every time. Scottish people I love you but my stepdad

1:11

is Scottish and I just, it

1:14

just is not sexy to me now because of me. Well

1:16

unless you're into kind of daddy role play. No not

1:19

really into the daddy role play. Do you know I used

1:21

to live in Aberdeen when I went to uni

1:23

and I remember the first time I got there because

1:26

there's a Peterborough accent and stuff like

1:28

that when you're in Aberdeen because they're so

1:30

close

1:31

and people would literally be like can feel like Memphis is

1:33

that a and I'd be like, well, say what?

1:35

Yeah. So that means like, how's it going, mom? What's

1:38

the story? What does it say again? Can fit like Memphis study.

1:40

That means what's the story? Yeah. Yeah.

1:43

What's going on mom? What's the

1:45

story? I was like,

1:48

I don't know what any of them are saying to me. I didn't know what anyone

1:50

was saying because the accents were so strong.

1:52

Funnily enough, when I got drunk, I actually understood

1:54

them more. Well, also I notice

1:57

when I gig abroad. that

2:00

a lot of the time people are like, sorry, I missed

2:02

all of that there, no? Because we- If they're

2:04

not Irish, obviously. Yeah, like if you come to

2:06

my house, Spencer's like, you're just, you get like 100% more

2:08

Irish. And he's like, we talk

2:10

too fast to each other. It's my mum, she's

2:13

from Cork. She's Cork, Ionian,

2:16

maiden name Corkery. Like you couldn't get more Cork

2:18

than my mum. But the accent has softened

2:20

because she's been in Dublin for like 80 years or whatever.

2:23

No offense, Mum. But now

2:25

when she rings Cork, it just flares

2:28

back up again like an infection. I know,

2:30

you know, when you get into a taxi. Straight back

2:32

into Cork, like it's really full

2:34

on. I'm like, Mum, she just walked into

2:37

a room and she'd be like full-blown Cork again. And I was

2:39

like, she's like, oh, sorry, I was onto your anti-crav and

2:41

her. It doesn't real.

2:43

Do you know, so speaking of accents,

2:46

we did the Late Late on Friday,

2:49

Chacho in Ireland. Were people sagging

2:51

on accents again? Oh, I don't know

2:53

what's going on. I don't

2:55

know if I'm premenstrual,

2:57

perimenopausal, psychotic,

3:00

I don't know what's going on with me. But

3:03

I am fit to fight

3:05

at the moment. You, on

3:07

the plane over to Newcastle, you

3:09

were a bit like, I'm gonna respond to this. And I'm like, do

3:11

not respond. I was getting to the state, you're

3:13

supposed to ignore it all. You're supposed

3:15

to rise above it. But it gets

3:18

harder and harder to be called a talentless

3:20

by some loser in his mother's basement.

3:23

Sorry, beep that joke. It really,

3:25

I don't know what is going on. I don't

3:27

know, is it my pill? I don't have

3:29

time. I'm just so full of rage. It's

3:32

so annoying. It's so annoying.

3:35

At least you get talentless. At least they're

3:37

saying you do something.

3:38

All I get is, what does she even do? Does

3:40

she have a job? I'm like, my

3:43

point is, when

3:45

I first started, it didn't bother me. I

3:47

just accepted it as

3:49

part of the process. I

3:51

don't know why. Do you know

3:54

what it is? I think I know what it is because

3:56

it's the same shit

3:57

every time. And you're like, they're

3:59

acting... are fake. Oh, I don't know who

4:01

they are. If you don't know who I am, how do you know my accent's

4:03

fake? They're my favorite. No, they're my favorite comments on the Daily

4:05

Mail, which I can't stop reading. I know I know who they are. Who

4:07

is she? I don't even know who she is. Stop

4:09

commenting.

4:10

I'm like, I don't know who you are either, Darryl. I

4:12

read a recent one, which was one of my favorites.

4:15

And it was like, the only day I'm looking forward

4:17

to it is her funeral. Me too.

4:20

It's going to be a great day out. It will be a good day. Do you know

4:22

that person was talking about it's going to be, imagine the amount

4:24

of brands that are going to punch you in the grave. Oh

4:26

my gosh. It would be clapsential. I

4:28

hope I live you. I probably will. I'm like a cockroach.

4:32

Even though you live a cleaner life, I probably live

4:34

you. You probably will. Yeah. Like

4:36

your skin is lower than mine and everything. I just don't understand. I

4:38

went and got it. I was in with Susan Vaughn. I got the Morpheus.

4:41

I know. I need to go back into it. I

4:43

was in with, oh my God, I was in with you and I was getting

4:45

revived. Sorry. I know we talk about this stuff a lot, but

4:47

I was sitting, I had left the cafe, you

4:49

know, the cafe just beside where he is because I

4:51

was starving and I'd left the cafe and

4:53

I had numbing cream all over my face, but

4:56

I put loads on and I literally

4:58

had the biggest lump of avocado

5:01

hanging off my chin.

5:03

I was like, I just walked

5:05

in public because my face was numb. I couldn't

5:08

feel any of it. And then I had to go to a kids party with

5:10

my kids and my whole face. I was like, everything

5:12

just felt so strange. He's like, why did you put it everywhere?

5:14

I was like, I don't know. I kind of like the feeling. So do you

5:16

pre cream yourself?

5:17

Oh, I pre-norm. I'm a wimp. I

5:20

pre-norm and still complain. Do you pre-norm?

5:22

I don't pre-norm. I don't pre-norm.

5:26

Oh yeah. I get them semi-norming at home. Anyway,

5:29

late, late. And then of course, I'm going to speak

5:31

folk. Anyway, I let myself down

5:34

because I started, I'd had a couple of drinks in the plane. I started

5:36

replying to people. You didn't

5:38

grow up in depth. All these shit

5:40

blocking everyone.

5:41

And then one woman like, look,

5:43

I'm just in and I just, I'm just coming

5:46

into an angry ear. I think it'll be gone by next

5:48

week, but adjust the frustration

5:50

over it. I don't know

5:51

why. Maybe you're getting your period. I'm much angrier.

5:54

I think I think I'm mostly getting my period.

5:56

It was unfortunate to be pre-man still doing the late, late

5:58

because it's the act.

5:59

Firstly, who

6:02

would fake this accent? Secondly, what do you

6:04

think we're actually for me? Like what do you think we're doing? It's

6:06

a deflection this accent. Well, people are

6:08

wary because as I'm from the North side, I'm not supposed

6:11

to sound like this, but hope is like a little peninsula

6:13

on its

6:13

own. I was about to get over it, I

6:15

don't mean hope, I mean the accent. I

6:18

think I've accent fatigue. Spenny,

6:21

it drives me mad that I'm constantly

6:24

being tiled my accent isn't real

6:25

or that it's not Irish. It's like, Spenny,

6:29

my hairdresser Carla, she is from,

6:32

where is she from? Like kind of inner city Dublin accents,

6:35

like a really nice Dublin Dublin

6:37

accent. And Spenny turned around and he

6:39

was like, are you from Cork? He's

6:41

no clearer of accents.

6:43

I know. He wouldn't know that I'm posh. I

6:46

have this problem, like so when I- Well, I wouldn't say I'm posh,

6:48

I'd say my accent is posh. I'm

6:51

a very- I think you hit both. I think

6:53

you hit both. I'm definitely not. Are you gonna

6:55

turn around and say to me I'm classy? You're hardly Councillor

6:57

Cocknow, come on. Do you think I'm classy? Yeah.

6:59

What? You're what you, yeah. No

7:02

one says I'm classy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay,

7:04

I have another one. Do you think I'm light footed?

7:06

Absolutely not, no. No, okay, Grant. No, you're very

7:08

heavy in the foot. I've got a wide gait on. You're very

7:10

heavy in the foot, I would say. When you started telling

7:13

me I had a wide gait, I saw a video

7:15

of myself walking when I was pregnant during

7:17

the wide gait days. And honestly,

7:19

my legs were like- It was so wide, yeah. They were just

7:22

going edwards. They were parallel to my body.

7:24

Yeah, it was like you dislocated them. Yeah,

7:27

they were just like- That's how they were just there, each moving

7:29

independently of the other. During

7:31

the airplane wings. But I say

7:33

this out of law, if you walk like that all the time, you're gonna

7:35

get pregnant. What? I'm sorry,

7:37

but you're classy. No, you can't. Get away with

7:40

this. You wear a Rolex as an ankle

7:42

bracelet. You're loaded, I wouldn't worry about it. You

7:44

can't

7:44

slag me off with something and then just chuck in your

7:46

classy to try and

7:48

make it better. I'm in my rage, ear of folk.

7:51

Well, your hair's rotten, but you're classy. Oh,

7:55

why is your personality so shit? But

7:57

you're classy. Classy, babe.

7:59

I love your jewelry

8:02

and your trousers. Anyway

8:04

again this woman was like their accents

8:07

stay and they're so annoying and

8:11

I was obviously as I said had a good

8:12

nothing good happens to me on a plane to

8:14

be honest it's the word I shouldn't be allowed Wi-Fi

8:17

and can I tell you something by the way before

8:19

we got on the plane right

8:20

there's a coffee shop in Dublin Airport I'll take

8:22

you to a joke I've never had a nice

8:24

nicer coffee right we're walking by what's it

8:27

called? So we're walking by butlers

8:29

and I was like she's trying to get a coffee

8:32

and you turned around to me and you said no

8:35

I don't want a drink that's gonna dehydrate me and

8:37

went and got yourself wine.

8:38

She turned

8:41

down the coffee and I'm watching her I was like is

8:43

she chill? Yeah

8:46

I'm like I don't I need something with an electrolyte

8:49

it's gonna dehydrate me the coffee. I actually

8:52

yeah that's yeah sometimes my hypocrisy

8:55

shocks even me. It was so

8:57

good.

8:59

It's like saying no I won't have a cigarette

9:01

and then just going to shoot up for the afternoon. I remember

9:04

when I used to smoke when I was younger like a full-time smoke group

9:06

and I used and the vapes came out so I was like I'm gonna

9:08

start hitting the vapes like there's a few years ago when they weren't

9:11

like the vapes that we have now I remember

9:13

like when they actually had like the engine. I

9:15

was literally blown out

9:18

like fog horns and smoke. I

9:20

remember I used to smoke in one hand and vape in the other

9:23

like I don't know what I thought of it soon.

9:24

It's the ADHD and I know I so

9:27

I I get a call. I've been

9:29

tested when I die I'm actually been tested now.

9:31

Yeah but I think I me

9:33

and Jo you agree with me. I couldn't sit still. If

9:36

there is it there is you your brain

9:38

is like there's like 60 things going on at the same time.

9:41

I don't know I think everyone's kind of um diagnosing

9:43

them each other with either spectrum

9:46

style behavior or ADHD which I think probably dilutes

9:49

people who genuinely have it. But

9:52

oh my god I've lost my concentration. Who's in charge

9:54

here? If there's screw in. Who is in

9:56

charge today? Well not Jo being in charge today. He's

9:58

in a good job Jo. Can I get another glass champagne

10:01

there, please? Not without knocking the cameras

10:03

out. No,

10:05

I will say the champagne is room temperature. We've nothing

10:07

but respect. We do not believe in it. We've nothing but respect for

10:09

Jamb. I

10:17

would just like to give a quick shout out to the girl

10:19

who fake-tanced her baby. Did

10:22

you see that? Is she

10:24

really? Is she joking? I don't

10:26

know.

10:26

This could not be true. She's fake-tanced her

10:28

seven week old baby. Jo, do you fake-tine your baby?

10:31

No. What the hell is wrong with you?

10:35

Sue Brophy did my makeup. Karina Gaffney

10:37

styled us. Who did your makeup? Ashley

10:40

O'Lorek and my pal Carla. And my pal Carla did my hair.

10:43

And do

10:43

you know what? I... Karina's

10:45

been styling me since I met her. I met her at 17

10:48

at the shoot. And I've worked with her

10:50

ever since. And Ashley's obviously... Mine and Ashley's

10:52

dream was to be able to work with each other. That's

10:55

the champagne spilling that Jo, board, everywhere. My

10:57

dream was to be able to

10:59

work with my best pals. And I get to work with them

11:01

every time I go home. It's like the nicest

11:03

thing. It's really nice. Especially

11:06

when they go to their jobs. Yeah.

11:07

I mean, if she had you looking like a clown, you probably wouldn't bother.

11:10

So Sue Brophy, anyway, she always was my hair and

11:12

makeup if she's free because she is... You look

11:14

clap. She's just, I think, like one of the best

11:16

person. She polished that turd and she polished

11:18

it.

11:19

She polished it so well that

11:22

I have to say, the compliments start

11:24

becoming slightly offensive. Do

11:26

you know what? Well, I was offended. I saw one compliment

11:28

and it was like, oh, Joanne is

11:31

way nicer than Bo, because I was like, excuse me. Oh,

11:33

yeah. Did I not? We are as nice

11:35

as each other. We look like family. Did I tell

11:37

you about the time? Sorry. Late, late.

11:40

Late, late. When

11:43

people are so shocked that you look well,

11:45

that they're like, oh my God. And

11:48

you're like, what do I look like? My

11:50

one of that is when I don't wear... It's bad. When

11:53

I'm no concealer on and I do a video, people

11:55

are like, please tell me what concealer you use, because I

11:57

look like I've been punched. With eye

11:59

concealer. You've got the kind of sexy black

12:01

eyes. You've got like a kind of a, you've got a

12:03

dark under eye, which I think is kind of cool. Yeah,

12:06

but you know what? I like it. I've had it since I was

12:08

younger in school. I've always had it. It's quite heroin

12:10

chic. Thank you very much. I love the

12:12

late, late

12:12

show though. We got to go on with Ryan. We

12:14

met me, yeah, we

12:16

met Mihal Martin, but his son wasn't with

12:19

us, so we were absolutely raging. We met Mihal Martin.

12:21

So, but you're in luck. He's one of our revolving

12:23

tea shocks. He's now,

12:25

he's not the tea shock at the moment. He's

12:27

not the tea shock. So they're kind of, they switched jobs.

12:30

I was like, Mihal, I don't know if you know, but Leo Veracor

12:32

follows me. I'm like, so if you want to go on a

12:34

go, I want to go on a go. Has Mihal followed us? No,

12:37

not that I'm aware of. Okay, well that's it. I'm not quite

12:39

sexy in real life. I'm like a darling he, I don't

12:41

know what's going on. I definitely think

12:43

you're getting your periods. I don't know what it is. I'm

12:45

actually, I'm

12:46

just- Imagine Mihal isn't so this, he's quite sexy.

12:48

You're getting your periods, that's why. It's

12:50

a nil, it's a nil, it's a nil. You're

12:52

not thinking straight. All I've wanted

12:55

to do this week

12:55

is ride and punch people in the face. I don't know

12:57

what's going on. I'm not myself or maybe

12:59

this is myself. No, you're

13:01

unusual. What

13:04

kind of redemption, I have one more drink, should we grant? Yeah.

13:07

The late late was fun though, I love Ryan. Isn't Ryan just so nice?

13:10

He's actually got something very interesting

13:11

that he wants to do after the late late. And

13:14

Paddy Keelty is- I think that's Ryan got something in the pipeline.

13:17

Ryan has something in the pipeline and he told me about

13:19

it and it is like, because he's obviously super

13:21

smart, like it's just something really interesting

13:24

and it's gonna be

13:25

noteworthy TV. Patrick

13:28

Keelty has the new job as the late

13:30

late house. He's gonna be great. Vogue Williams, would

13:32

you rather? Ooh,

13:34

okay. Ryan or Patrick? To ride?

13:37

Yeah. I would rather- Well

13:39

I don't- I never care for anything else. Okay,

13:41

well I don't know Patrick yet. Oh

13:44

yeah, that's fair. I like your being very

13:46

diplomatic, we're taking in personality as well. Ryan

13:49

feels like he's kind of our

13:50

friend. Ryan is our friend. He

13:52

is. Such a kind, nice

13:54

man. Yeah, people can be wankers about us and he's

13:56

always been really nice. Yeah, he's always been really nice. So I

13:58

would say I am, for now-

13:59

I'm now gonna ride Ryan, but hopefully I will

14:02

ride everyone. Yeah, and now his daughter does listen to the pod,

14:04

so... Well, I'm going to ride your dad. You're

14:06

gonna ride your dad. Just in

14:08

case you didn't hear it the first time, we're gonna

14:10

buy you a ride. Ryan is the host of the late, late, by the way. We're

14:12

gonna salvage Ryan.

14:15

We are going to be the little pieces of bread. Joe, you can

14:18

rub in at the top, just like a little condiment. Oh,

14:20

that's too much. Joe

14:22

just spreading his love mayonnaise, I don't think so. Sicko,

14:25

that love mayonnaise. How have I

14:27

never heard that before? Sorry,

14:30

speaking of mayonnaise. No,

14:33

the real mayonnaise. I had Burger

14:35

King in the airport today. I haven't had

14:37

it in so long. I know I had a day off yesterday.

14:39

What'd you have, what'd you have? Chicken Royale

14:41

and two small chips, because the one thing I will say

14:43

about Burger King is the chip portion sizes

14:46

are too small. Too small!

14:48

Unacceptable. I'm not a child. Well, you did

14:50

order small portions, so they were always gonna be small. Respect me.

14:53

No, I ordered them when I ordered two medium small.

14:55

But they're all like, I remember one time I sat... Chips

14:58

are inexpensive, just fill me with chips. Yeah,

15:00

like McDonald's and Farron's, so they're not scabby

15:02

on the chips. Burger King, you're like, oh, are we rationing?

15:05

What's going

15:05

on? Is this like a famine? What's happening? Anyway,

15:07

so I have my little two bags of chips and my Chicken

15:11

Royale, and I fucking

15:14

loved it.

15:14

And I'll tell you

15:16

this much. The mayonnaise in Burger

15:18

King is a next level. I

15:20

basically, I don't know how many sachets

15:23

I had. I basically just ate mayonnaise

15:25

with a sprinkling of chips. God, that's what she

15:27

usually does. She usually just starts shoving her fingers

15:29

into it in the unit. Yeah, as a child, I used

15:31

to sit in the house and just drink or

15:33

eat entire huge

15:34

boxes of callous well. I have a

15:36

serious horn and weakness for mayonnaise.

15:39

Mayonnaise is a good condiment, but I don't know if I could put

15:41

it over ketchup. It's like crack. I

15:44

think Burger King and my... That's how they get you in,

15:46

because the mayonnaise is free, and then you pay for everything

15:48

else, because you want the mayonnaise. Do you remember

15:50

actually, we were coming back, right, but Joanne and I were

15:52

in the airport

15:53

on Saturday morning together, and we

15:55

were coming back, and we were desperate for breakfast. Remember?

15:58

You wanted to go for breakfast. We went into the

16:00

restaurant. There's like, honestly,

16:03

there's one restaurant besides Burger

16:05

King in Dublin Airport terminal two that you can

16:07

get food. So we went in, cause Joanne

16:09

did not want to dehydrate herself

16:11

any more than she was. No, nothing, nothing dehydrating.

16:13

I was like, that's a diaratic.

16:16

Coffee's a diaratic. I need to hydrate.

16:18

And then I had to use a word. And then I

16:20

had to clean up Grisio. It's like, it makes no sense.

16:23

Makes no sense. So we went in

16:25

and we went to this restaurant and there's

16:27

a QR code that you have to order your food on. I

16:30

hate QR codes. I just want

16:32

a menu. The worst thing to come out of Covid, besides

16:35

the death.

16:36

Yeah, besides the fucking QR workouts. Oh

16:39

my God. Honestly, they're for everything.

16:41

And it's just like, just give me a menu. So anyway, we were trying

16:43

to order on it. And then we were like to the waitress, we were

16:45

like, do you want, like, we want to order this, but we don't

16:47

want bacon on it. And she's like, yeah, no, this, you can't

16:50

do that. Yeah, computer says

16:51

no. So there's like five things to order and you

16:53

literally could not change that order at all.

16:55

So if you were not a meat eater, you would just. We

16:57

laughed, didn't we? Yeah, and I. Stormed

16:59

out and went to the next shit hell. Oh, sorry. The next.

17:02

The next. No, the next place was the worst.

17:05

It's, I don't. You got a wet

17:07

sandwich and I was jealous of it by the end of my

17:10

bath with like a couple of rotten beans. I

17:12

spent so much time with that airport and I know where

17:14

they held the chicken sandwiches. So I know where to go.

17:16

And speaking of,

17:19

I'd like to come back to your house, but today again

17:21

in Dublin airport again, maybe that's what's wrong with me. I think I'm

17:23

in the sky too much. Yeah. So

17:26

I was in the airport today,

17:27

again. And having

17:29

my daily peanut. That's why I got the

17:31

train. I've wanted the train today. Why?

17:34

No airports. I love it when

17:36

I find the airport. I feel like me and Arlingus

17:38

are in kind of a, like I'm

17:40

being chartered to Glasgow

17:43

and there's just loads of other people also that'll chart with me. Because

17:46

I just love, I genuinely just love flying with them. I feel

17:48

like them by the way, you feel like hoped. It's annoying. I

17:50

just, yeah, but I just don't like the before

17:52

part in the airport because I'm a cheap bitch. Like I can't

17:54

help myself. I always end up buying some. I put a lot

17:56

of money in here. And what I started doing is because I

17:58

got so bored in airports. and I just buy

18:01

cosmetics and shit. I started buying

18:03

tiny airplane ones so I can justify

18:05

buying another size in a week. Cause I

18:07

can't find the one. Anyway, so I'm in the airport, woman comes

18:09

out, we're really nice. She'd been to see the show, one of the shows,

18:12

and she was like, can I get a selfie? And I was like, yeah,

18:14

of course. And she hands the phone

18:16

to her

18:17

child to take it. Like

18:19

she was like six or something, I don't know, whatever. I can't,

18:21

I don't know. That child was probably about 13. Yeah, she

18:24

was anywhere between six

18:26

and 19. Yeah. But

18:28

she was a child. And she handed

18:30

the thing, turned off this little child, and the child is

18:32

like doing the angle from like under

18:34

here. And I was like, I'm sorry, no. And

18:36

I was like, no, no, no. The

18:39

lady doesn't like that. Cause your woman was like,

18:41

say hello to the lady. And I was like, the lady doesn't

18:43

want you taking a photo from down that low. No, not

18:45

down there. I don't want 60 chins, thank you.

18:48

No. And then when I took

18:49

the phone off the child, I was like, this is so bad,

18:51

I can't believe I just did that. But I'm powering through. Lean

18:53

in, and then I took a selfie with your one, with

18:56

right angles and good lighting. And did you work at

18:58

Paris? I just said to her, like

19:00

obviously put a pass on the wall. Obviously. Why

19:02

morale can't take the photos like this? No, and

19:04

sometimes when you see them, when you're like, those ones, you

19:06

know, when people look amazing and they tag themselves, and

19:08

then you see yourself and you look like a toe.

19:11

I've had photos taken on days that I look

19:13

so shit, my phone won't

19:15

open with, won't acknowledge face

19:18

recognition. That is a bad day.

19:19

And then- And your phone doesn't recognise you because you're

19:21

so ugly. That's a really bad day. I wonder if my phone

19:24

will recognise you. Why would it? Because

19:26

I just think we look alike. No, we don't.

19:28

People keep saying I look like Queen Rania. Yeah,

19:31

I mean that's- I wish I was Queen Rania, but you're weird.

19:33

I would tell her, like, Shrek, Princess Diana from

19:35

Shrek. So I'd go with Queen Rania if

19:37

I did.

19:38

Things about, so because the cute

19:40

workout drove us so mad, right? I

19:43

did a little deep dive on this. And listen to this,

19:45

by the year 2030, it's

19:47

estimated that 25 million jobs worldwide

19:49

that were once done by a human will

19:52

be replaced by a robot. And 42%

19:55

of those jobs will never go back to humans. But one of them,

19:57

right, that I absolutely all-

19:59

I love a cashier.

20:02

I told you about my friend and co-op who

20:05

like paid for my food one day and I had to

20:07

go back and give them the money, but like cashiers,

20:10

I like having the chats with them. Sorry,

20:13

I'm a fucking cashier. I can't remember the

20:15

last time anyone else scanned anything for me.

20:18

I know. Yeah, we're doing that ourselves now anyway.

20:20

Oh, and something always

20:22

breaks and they have to come over to you. Look, I'm

20:24

going back putting in coats and all. Yeah, I

20:27

just- Like I'm properly skilled now. Those

20:29

people I almost, driver's 51%. I

20:32

was driving out of

20:34

Dublin Air Force. Sorry. Where

20:36

you live now? Where you reside? Where I

20:38

live. I left the car there

20:40

so

20:40

I drove away. I knew there

20:42

was something wrong on my Google Maps because it seemed to

20:44

be adding, it was always taking me back

20:46

roads. It was like I put a setting on

20:49

that says like,

20:50

I'm fucking- So I just use the maps on the phone? I'm bored,

20:52

bring me anywhere. I don't know what was going on. So

20:55

anyway, I realized since I had

20:57

to avoid motorways, but

20:59

I didn't cop, because I didn't intentionally put it on.

21:02

So I didn't know. And I'm so geographically picked

21:04

that I just follow. I'm like, whatever the computer tells

21:06

me to do. If it told me to drive through a house to

21:08

get to the other road, I'd do

21:09

it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just feel like, well, this is

21:11

what Google, it's Google. Like I'm not going to argue with Google.

21:13

So it's coming out to an airport and it was

21:15

like take a left to Sorts. And I was like, this can't

21:17

be right, but I'm going to do it. Cause maybe it's-

21:20

How annoying. How do you not- Around 40

21:22

minutes. But you want- I went back to

21:24

Eneskari. So Enrude, you don't know the way to Eneskari.

21:27

It's on the M50. I told you, I take,

21:29

I'm very, I take direction

21:31

well. You're on, you're practically

21:34

on the M50 at the airport. But it was

21:36

like, it was like swing a left, Joanne. And I

21:38

was like, oh, it's Google. Like maybe it's trying to be

21:40

sound. Maybe there's like a collision or traffic.

21:43

So off I went

21:45

into the midlands. Well, it would be nice, you know what?

21:47

When someone, like I think it'd be nice. You

21:50

could, you'd have your own personal driver when this

21:52

happens, when the robots take over the cars. It's

21:55

going to be all like ski electrics and stuff. Anyways,

21:58

there I am driving. I could feel- other ones. They're not

22:00

scary electric. She always likes me when I'm actual

22:02

from. Yeah I don't know. Here's another one.

22:05

Cleaner 21% job loss predicted.

22:07

Now I would... No I'm sorry

22:09

I wouldn't like that. I don't think I want robots

22:11

taking over anything to be honest. We're not gonna need

22:14

a door at Arwen. A door is going nowhere. I

22:18

just like human interaction. Bar

22:21

tender 19% you'll never get

22:23

a larger wine than what you asked for. You'll only

22:25

get it to this to the literal millimeter. That's

22:27

the way I'm gonna say you've heard that to me. You know I'm not

22:29

in a great place. It's

22:34

coercive control. When

22:36

they take it out and they look it in the eye and they pour

22:39

it like what I love when you order... when

22:41

I was in Newcastle. Sorry I can't. I

22:43

can't. I'm sorry. You gave that to me for

22:45

doing that. Such a cool city.

22:47

I love it. I love...

22:49

I think I'm a northerner. I

22:52

love Newcastle. I think I'm a northerner. My

22:54

dad's from Preston. Lancashire. No we

22:57

were... Obviously I'm adopted so it's not like in the DNA but

22:59

still

22:59

I was raised by a Lancashire man. But...

23:02

Oh Frank was from Lancashire. What

23:05

was his accent? Lancashire. Well what's

23:07

that? Like Lancashire? Yeah well he's dead

23:09

a long time to be honest. I'd have to get out the... Take

23:12

him off!

23:16

Stick a voice box in him. See if there's

23:18

anything left. Squeeze his

23:20

belly.

23:30

It's so funny in the show. Like because

23:32

me and Beau both our dads are dead. So

23:34

we feel like we're entitled to kind of have

23:36

a bit of crack about that. It's dead right! It's

23:39

dead right! Adam what

23:41

would you say? Some people don't like jokes about that

23:43

kind of thing. I don't. I think we're... Hold

23:46

on what's the word I like to

23:47

use? We irrelevant. No. Excuse me?

23:49

Irreverent!

23:55

Irrelevant! I mean yeah

23:58

but also irreverent. When

24:06

people are like, oh, so what is your dad doing? Well, he's dead.

24:09

Dead. He's dead. Thanks

24:11

for bringing that up. Thank you. Thank you

24:14

very much. You bring up that traumatic time

24:16

in my life. I actually find it worse. I

24:18

hate saying he's dead. Sometimes I

24:20

just want to say it. Because it causes like...

24:22

Oh, you just pretend? Because you have to go... It's

24:24

just a bit of a buzzkill. Well, I

24:26

can't... A villain in a cat... A death can do that to people, I

24:28

think. I'm 40, so like loads of 40-year-olds

24:31

have dead parents, but my dad died when I was 16. So

24:33

it was a bit of a... Yeah, I was 16.

24:36

I just turned 16. I was 16 a week when he died.

24:38

He must have been really annoying, weren't you? Is that what happened? That's

24:40

what happened. That's why I'm so fucking

24:42

angry. Joanne

24:45

and I have decided... Sorry, daddy. Joanne

24:47

and I figured out... Well, Joanne was always frightened

24:50

of me, it would seem. But she's only

24:52

figured out recently that I'm frightened of her. And

24:54

I actually know what I'm absolutely thrilled.

24:56

I really didn't think she was. I would hate

24:59

to be in trouble with you. You know, there's some people because

25:02

it's as well as... Spenny has a sister called Nina and

25:04

she's like... Have you met her? No. She's

25:06

the nicest person in the world.

25:08

We have met her! Yeah, and now I've actually never

25:10

seen her in a bad mood with anyone, but like she is...

25:13

She's been presented to the earth by God

25:15

himself, if he exists. But

25:18

she is one of the better people. We're really asking

25:20

the big questions today, aren't we? Holy

25:22

God, are you there? Hello? Hey,

25:25

Mary? God is me, man. To be

25:27

in trouble with someone like that would really terrify me. And

25:29

because you don't really... We've never

25:31

actually thought... What? Except that one time

25:33

for about six minutes. No,

25:35

I think we are... We

25:37

in Vogue have spoken about this before. We

25:40

are actually... Because I think when you start

25:42

working with your friends, all

25:44

these other things, you have

25:46

to take into consideration. Suddenly, there's like... You're

25:49

not just able to have the crack all the time. There's

25:51

conversations to be had, decisions to be made.

25:54

You're like a pit bull.

25:55

You're like... She is like a train.

25:58

Do you know what I mean? She's just like... because of the mental

26:00

health conditions. And

26:04

so you're trying to bring these two,

26:07

I would say like quite ambitious

26:10

personalities together. And very different

26:12

people. And very different people. And we've accidentally

26:15

and very fortunately become

26:17

like basically a business partner. Yeah,

26:19

yeah. So we have to, you're trying to manage all that as

26:21

well. I think we do exceptionally

26:23

well. So do I. So do I. We fight

26:26

way less than spending lives. We've never gotten physical. Speaking

26:28

of fights.

26:29

Oh my God. Oh

26:32

my God. Oh my God. So

26:34

I was on the phone to one of the girls from home about this

26:36

this morning and her, we were on the phone for so

26:38

long about it. Her phone overheated cause the tea

26:40

was so hot. And I lost connection with her.

26:43

I will tell you something. And so like, okay.

26:46

There's more to come. There's so much more to

26:49

the story. Yeah. But we don't

26:51

know if any of it is true. Allegedly,

26:54

allegedly, allegedly. He

26:56

didn't even get to say goodbye on Thursday.

26:58

He's worked there for 20 years. So

27:01

something. It's real. No, it's proper

27:03

toxic shit. So, but like the next day,

27:05

the kind

27:06

of goodbye Phillip segment

27:08

by Dermot and Allison. Do they have like a memorial?

27:11

It looked like an obituary. It was just,

27:14

and thanks so much to the man who was

27:16

on the K20S and then just these like clips

27:18

of photos of him. It was like he was dead. Aiman

27:20

Holmes can't get enough

27:22

of this shit. Did you see Amanda Holden

27:24

posted something as well? Are we gonna talk about it? Well,

27:26

yeah, she posted something. She is real beef

27:29

with him. Now, allegedly it's about

27:31

him. I didn't, well, I'm not really, you

27:33

know, I didn't know, but I know that you know

27:35

her. And she- Well, she didn't tell

27:37

me. I don't know her. I've met her a few times,

27:39

but she of course didn't tell me anything about

27:41

it. But I saw it and I was like, oh, that must be about him.

27:44

But Aiman Holmes cannot.

27:47

Aiman can't. He just can't. He can't,

27:49

he's so enraged. But I wonder what he did

27:51

to Aiman Holmes and he hates Aiman Holmes so much. Because

27:54

I actually find Aiman Holmes very pleasant. I've

27:56

reached, I've reached the same. He's been wiped into the pot. I

27:59

know, Joanne.

27:59

is obsessed with the fact that it's not a good thing to put on. Love Ray Langford.

28:02

She was a personal comedy listener. I love Holly as well. I

28:07

don't know Phil. I don't want to go too deep on

28:09

him, but I'm glad Holly's still

28:11

there. No, I think there's a lot of stuff going

28:13

on in Phillips. This is what

28:15

I can gather, personally. His

28:17

brother obviously has just been sent to prison for

28:19

some sort of sexual misconduct

28:21

with a minor.

28:22

Twelve years he got... When

28:24

that happened, I was kind of thinking just about

28:26

careers in general. I was like, if your sibling

28:31

fucks up their life and

28:33

fucks up someone else, like if your sibling is a

28:35

criminal, should that impact

28:37

you? No, because people are

28:40

very different. So I don't

28:42

think that's what this is about.

28:45

No, I think it's a hard thing to kind of style out what

28:47

it's meant to be. I

28:50

don't think any of this is about that at all.

28:53

Well I think it plays a part. No,

28:55

it's a completely different thing. This has been going on

28:57

behind the scenes for a long time. A long time.

29:00

Yeah, a long time. I've heard a few bits

29:02

and bobs now. Jo's getting nervous. Jo's

29:04

getting nervous, so we'll stop. I want to tell

29:06

you... No, no, no, hold on. Who's going to

29:08

take their place? I think

29:11

it's going to be... I like Alice in Hammond.

29:13

I think Holly's staying. Holly's definitely staying. Yeah.

29:16

Ryan would be great. Ryan,

29:18

he's got some free time now. What Ryan would be?

29:20

No, I think it would be Alice in Hammond. Alice in Hammond and Holly.

29:23

Oh, no, she's... Oh, do you think they'll go two

29:25

women? Well, what's wrong with two women? I

29:27

think I just hate women. I hate to see two women start

29:30

to go two women. Yeah, I forgot about you. Complete

29:32

disdain for women. I just fucking hate them. Yeah. No,

29:35

I think it would be the two of them... Well,

29:37

last week I said that Holly and Phil were not going to break up

29:39

and look at this week, so don't take my word for gospel.

29:41

They usually always pair, man,

29:44

woman. Maybe Jeremy O'Leary? Well,

29:46

I'm not being bad. Did you see that? Did you see that post of Jeremy

29:49

O'Leary dancing? I love that sound much. I couldn't take it. What?

29:52

Has anyone seen that post of Jeremy O'Leary? So

29:54

he was dancing in the radio show and he was dancing along

29:56

to a show. I saw him in a slightly different

29:58

light.

29:59

I know. You don't fancy him anymore. I don't fancy him anymore.

30:02

But I love Alison Hammond and I have

30:04

not. I have yet to see her dance.

30:10

Don't get jealous. OK, hold it back.

30:12

OK. But I'm going to

30:14

see Beyonce next

30:16

Tuesday. See you next Tuesday,

30:19

Beyonce. Oh, so you're chipping

30:21

in for that 200 million pound gaffe she just bought

30:23

in America. Can you?

30:26

And I've seen it. You know, they paid in cash.

30:29

What the fuck? No, they paid in cash. No mortgage.

30:32

Nothing. Just bam. There you go. 200 million. Yeah,

30:34

just a bag of cash. Well, he has sold it. He sold

30:36

his champagne business for like their billionaire. They're

30:38

both equally billionaires. So like 200 million

30:41

is like it's like me paying for the 695

30:43

for the internet. I'd say. Yeah,

30:45

yeah, yeah. Yeah. Which you wouldn't pay for. Which I absolutely wouldn't

30:47

pay for. So I wouldn't touch that guy. Yeah. But 200

30:50

million. Like that's

30:52

a couple of like that. You couldn't even fit that in one

30:55

car. Could you? Oh, 200.

30:57

Tap. Imagine just tap in 200

30:59

million. Tap, tap. Have you got a revolution? They

31:02

already have a house for 88 million in

31:04

Bel Air. They also have a New York

31:06

City penthouse apartment. I

31:08

love and I love Jay-Z as well. Jay-Z threat

31:11

is one of my favorite songs

31:11

of the whole world, by the way. By the way, I only like listening

31:14

to gangsta rap and

31:17

grind. Yeah, that's all I listen to. It's true.

31:19

So I love him as much as I love Beyonce. I'm flat-eating

31:22

Girls Aloud. You do. I,

31:24

the girls led Magamix. I'm sorry. Tell

31:28

me about a truck. I don't know if you're serious or

31:31

not. I'm absolutely serious. I

31:33

want you to guess what the biggest, the most

31:35

expensive house on Earth is.

31:36

Is it? Is this a trick question? Is it Mars

31:39

or something? No, no, it's on actual Earth.

31:41

It's on planet Earth. You'll

31:44

know it. It's like a landmark. Oh, it's like Booking

31:46

in Palace. Yes. Ah! Booking

31:48

in Palace for now. I don't know who priced

31:50

this. We'll see it on the right move in a few weeks.

31:52

4.9 billion. Yeah. 4.9.

31:56

Now, I read this other story about this

31:58

man who bought this house like this. and

32:00

it was all protected, I just read it last

32:02

week, and so he bought this house for 1.5 million, and

32:05

the owner ripped every single thing out of the

32:07

house, so every fireplace was ripped out, every light

32:09

fixture was ripped out, just went absolutely

32:11

clear on the place. Oh my God,

32:14

you've just reminded me, I did a shout out

32:16

for work time, sweet. Oh, I love

32:18

that! I don't wanna tell

32:20

tales, she says about to tell tales.

32:24

I'm not gonna be specific, but

32:26

I spent some time in a home where I lived, and

32:30

it was like- It's not my home before. I shared it,

32:32

it's not your home, and the girls that I moved

32:34

in

32:34

with at the time, they'd all moved,

32:37

some of them moved out, actually they'd all moved out, I

32:39

kinda overstayed, I wasn't there,

32:41

I don't know if I was traveling around. I think

32:42

that, but that to me makes the perfect housemate,

32:45

you're not there. Yeah, but I had no rapport, there

32:47

was two girls that lived in the house that I got on really well, but

32:49

the other two, we just didn't really have any rapport, and

32:53

one of them, like, do you know what you're like, I kinda checked

32:55

out, because I knew I was gonna be moving out, but

32:58

so I was like, I'm not gonna get involved in this

33:02

fight, because this is outrageous. Two

33:04

girls moved in, one of them moved her boyfriend in with

33:06

her, didn't ask us, no one asked us. Oh no,

33:08

no, no, no, no. He was there for like four

33:11

weeks, five weeks, three weeks, two weeks at a time,

33:13

never, I just couldn't

33:15

get over how rude it was,

33:18

and he was in the house all the time, because when he was

33:20

there, he had this kind of shift

33:21

job where he'd go off and work for months at a time and

33:23

then come back, and he'd be in the house all

33:25

day. He'd come down in the

33:28

morning in your child, but on a watch, he's there. Did he

33:30

have his own home or no? No, he was just,

33:33

no, they weren't from the UK. But

33:35

then the pain that I absolutely snapped, one

33:38

morning he told one of the other girls to keep it down

33:40

in the kitchen, and he's like, yeah. Stop.

33:43

Like, to quote one of our big philosophers,

33:45

Aaron McGregor, the fucking neck of you. Oh.

33:49

Like the neck of you telling us. Oh

33:51

my gosh. Paying rent, you're not

33:53

paying rent. He didn't pay any rent. No

33:55

one asked us could he stay, and he was, I

33:58

mean. That is bizarre. I was staying for four

34:00

nights, you'd be like, just a heads up. At one

34:02

stage he was there for a month. No. Yeah,

34:05

a month, every day, all day, every day.

34:07

Yeah, but people just take the piss when you live with them sometimes. It's so

34:09

rude, I boil my blood so much, but I was like, I'm moving out,

34:11

I'm not getting involved.

34:12

And then I cried, I didn't, I never said that to him,

34:15

but I went down one morning and his milk

34:17

was in the fridge and he'd written his name on it. Oh,

34:20

oh no. Excuse me? Milk.

34:23

So basically, like, I wasn't

34:25

in a position to use any of his

34:28

milk. Did you drink every single thing? I wish

34:30

I had. I wish I had. You know

34:32

what I mean? I love a real. I just obey.

34:34

I'm a bit of a walker, actually. I would've drank all that. I'm

34:37

a submissive.

34:38

Anyway, I was like, the neck of

34:40

this lad, to be rocking out with

34:42

a padlock on his milk, and he's not paying a penny

34:44

in rent. He paid towards the bills, which

34:46

didn't impact me really. Like, it was like a 10 or less

34:48

a month, something stupid, you know what I mean? But the, I know

34:50

what Emma said. Yeah, but the fact that you allowed

34:52

him to pay towards the bills, you probably thought that he was

34:54

entitled to be there. That was done

34:57

by his girlfriend.

34:58

Oh, God. You know. You're annoying.

35:00

You're annoying. Taylor

35:07

Swift. Yeah, I know. I thought it

35:09

was a swoop's ass. She's a miracle child. All

35:12

she does, from what I can tell, is

35:14

perform in the rain. How she has not been electrocuted, I

35:17

cannot understand. She's like an

35:19

angel sent from heaven. She looks amazing as well.

35:21

She's literally standing

35:23

in electric storms with like golf clubs in her hands

35:26

and microphones and fucking guitars. And

35:28

like toasters and ovens and everything. I

35:30

don't understand it. I used to

35:32

live with this girl, and

35:35

actually she's not a bad roommate.

35:36

She was a really, really nice roommate, but she used to bring

35:38

guys home. And like, it happened twice,

35:41

where basically they just robbed her and

35:44

left in the morning. So like, I was like, okay, I can't

35:46

leave. I don't

35:48

feel like I can leave my stuff out. They

35:50

still have her iPad. They still have her

35:52

iPad as well. And we used to

35:54

have little iPads. I part as well,

35:56

remember we used to have little iPods.

35:58

So, I part. I'm very

36:00

attracted to this man who is the strong

36:02

leader of us. Oh shit, I'd be like, oh my God. And

36:05

another thing. I felt alpha, I love.

36:07

Another thing that happened. Oh my God, she had

36:09

her parents over for food

36:12

and her family was really nice in fairness, but they

36:14

came

36:14

over for food and they were having pizza and I just

36:16

had come in from work and I went into

36:18

the kitchen and I saw the

36:21

bathroom scissors on the

36:23

kitchen counter. And

36:25

I said, oh, I know, I guess I better

36:27

know what this is. Why are the bathroom scissors

36:30

on the kitchen counter? We've been cutting

36:33

our pizza with them. Oh,

36:36

the bathroom scissors. That's not the part. Are the

36:38

scissors I use to maintain

36:40

my area. She

36:44

had been using the pube scissors

36:47

on her family's pizza. I'm

36:52

pretty sure they cut a toenail too. Oh

36:54

my God. Oh my God, no.

36:57

Who goes looking in a bathroom cabinet for

36:59

a pizza cutter? Oh, I know. You just like

37:01

the scissors are in the bathroom because of the bathroom

37:03

scissors. What's wrong with these people? I don't know. Trim

37:06

your pubes with the scissors. Don't eat the

37:08

pizza.

37:09

So that was my roommate's stories.

37:11

I used to live at Amber and she's honestly, I

37:14

think she is Ireland's newest dictator.

37:16

She will. You

37:19

have been at her company. My darling, you haven't

37:21

seen anything to live seeing Amber Williams.

37:23

So yeah, so I was like, does anyone have any bad

37:26

housemate stories? It's a

37:28

bit of a weird situation

37:30

because you're just living with these strangers. You're just sharing

37:32

a space with these people and you don't know them.

37:34

You very rarely have a loyalty

37:37

towards them. I'd rather be with somebody than not be

37:39

with somebody though. I wouldn't be able to live my

37:41

own. Which one I'd be like. I'd be like, oh, I'm broken. Yeah,

37:44

it wouldn't suit you now. But when I first

37:46

moved to London, I didn't want to be on my own either because

37:48

I was on my own so much for work.

37:50

Foring, yeah. That I was like, I can't. I need to wake

37:52

up in the morning and hear like a shower

37:55

or a radio or something. So I don't feel like

37:57

I'm the only

37:57

human alive. Do you know what I mean? Have you noticed

37:59

that I... I tried to give you a break on tour, by the way. What

38:02

do you mean? A Vogue break. I

38:04

try not to always be in your space, cause I know

38:06

you're like, you like your alone time. No,

38:08

but I actually really enjoy you being around. Okay, that's fine, okay.

38:10

I won't do that anymore, tough Vogue. Oh shit. I'll

38:14

see you at 7 a.m. See you in the toilet

38:16

in five. I'm

38:19

on the toilet, I was just pulled across the shower, and

38:21

I'm like, boo! You

38:24

said you liked my company. Don't

38:27

know why you're a laughing job, you have to, you're next.

38:29

No, I think that's

38:31

a really admirable trait.

38:34

But when I first moved, I didn't want to be

38:36

on my own, but that's why I lived in that shared house, which I really

38:39

enjoyed at the start. But now

38:41

I would be okay feeling on my own. Really?

38:43

Well, you'd be in my house most of the time. Well, obviously, 7 and 7

38:45

you would be. I like the option, I like, the

38:48

nice thing about your house is I can go down and just chill

38:50

out there. I don't really even have

38:53

to see you guys. Yeah, that's true. It's

38:55

true. She does, I don't know if she's

38:58

there or not. It's lovely having the company, you're buzzing

39:00

around and Amber will come in, we'll have a chat and

39:02

then you just

39:02

go back, and I'll just go back to the couch, and

39:05

it's so relaxed, that's what's really nice. I

39:08

love hearing that about my house, because I have a really open

39:10

door policy. If you're ever in the area, you know,

39:11

Jo, you can come in. And I want people to be

39:14

happy in the house. I think that's about it, we don't need to cross,

39:16

Jo. I think we can be both professional. Tell

39:19

me some of the stories about what we got sent in.

39:21

A reoccurring theme was people moving in with friends,

39:23

and then it like completely ending the relationship.

39:26

No! One girl, like this was, there

39:28

was loads of ones like this. Moved in with

39:30

my best friend after college. We didn't talk for 10

39:32

years after we moved out. Discovered

39:35

she was an absolute skanky bitch.

39:37

She made soup. Two

39:40

months later, I finally moved out. Soup was still

39:42

in the pot on the cooker, as I put

39:44

the keys back in the letterbox. Yeah, but you know what? That's

39:47

also her fault. You have to lay boundaries

39:50

and be like, you can't like leave a shared space

39:52

like that. That's why I said to my little brother when

39:54

he was moving out, I was like, anything

39:57

in a communal area, because he would use the community

39:59

drop his shoes.

39:59

using his bags in the kitchen. I'm like, you can't do

40:02

that because everyone does that. The kitchen's

40:04

full of shite. Take it and put it in your room.

40:06

And now he's like, well, from

40:08

his sister. Yeah, I think it does. I think some

40:10

people need some extra lessons in domesticity.

40:14

I certainly did. Like I

40:16

find myself,

40:18

I expel a lot of energy in some

40:20

areas of my life and I don't at all in like

40:24

cleaning up. I just have no interest in doing

40:26

it. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I would know that you

40:28

were- I just think there's no issue there. I would know that

40:30

you were in my house from the way things

40:32

left. Not that she's left it really messy because she'll

40:34

have attempted to clean up, but I know the

40:36

way Joanne cleaned. Yeah, it's like, it's,

40:38

you know, it's- It's

40:40

just moving things into different places.

40:43

So next one, go get us another one. When Vogue was like, oh,

40:45

I see. You make a bed like Spencer.

40:48

And I was like, that

40:49

seems laden with judgment. Oh

40:53

yeah, I lived with a girl in college who

40:55

was absolutely nuts, but she

40:57

was also a fantastic entrepreneur. Every night

40:59

I'd, she would pretend she was called Gabby and that she

41:01

was a yoga instructor. She'd bring a fender

41:03

home, sleep with them, and then ask him for 30 quid for the

41:05

morning after pill, even though she had the implant.

41:08

Oh my God. She

41:11

had more money than all of us put together cause she'd get

41:13

the ride every second day of the week. She'd

41:16

also steal the one and two euros I made

41:18

and tips from working a bar job off my bedroom

41:20

floor. Stop. These had fallen

41:23

out of my back pocket when I exhausted, got

41:25

into bed after a 10 hour shift. She always

41:27

denied this despite being the only other person in

41:29

the house. I

41:32

know. I used to live, obviously

41:34

I used

41:35

to live with my dad, but when I got kicked out from living with

41:37

my mom, I lived with my dad. And my dad was like

41:39

a heavy-ish drinker. That's

41:41

a nice way

41:41

of putting it. He was a heavy drinker. And so

41:44

like he would come and sit in the couch and he'd watch TV.

41:46

And then the next day I would go and shove my hand

41:49

in the cage. I swear to God, I found notes and everything. Then

41:51

I'll just fell out of his pocket. I'd be loaded.

41:54

You're like one of those kids in the fountain where

41:57

is he? I tried to be thankful.

41:59

I tried to be thankful, yeah. Yeah. Make it a

42:01

bit worse. This one, my friend

42:03

had a heist mate who refused to chip in for toilet

42:05

paper because he insisted he was taking all his shits at

42:07

work. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

42:09

ha! Ha ha ha ha ha

42:12

ha ha ha! Stop!

42:14

That's the most annoying when someone

42:16

won't buy toilet paper. Like, come on! Buy

42:19

toilet paper! Me and my

42:21

heist mate went to do our weekly shop at our local

42:23

Aztos. We paid separately at the self-service

42:26

till as I approached the exit

42:28

with my heist mate. We

42:30

got stopped by security and

42:32

marched back during the full walk of shame to

42:34

a small room

42:35

where it emerged my heist mate had basically

42:37

tried not to pass off at chicken

42:40

breasts and hair dye as

42:43

a bunch of bananas. No!

42:46

I was none the wiser and sat flabbergasted while

42:48

she was on her knees begging for forgiveness and

42:50

to knock all the police on her.

42:52

She even offered to run around the shop naked.

42:54

They eventually caved with the understanding we would never

42:56

step foot back in our Aztos again. I

43:00

mean, the amount of people that must be doing

43:02

that at the self-service, come on. I

43:04

don't know. So I heard this kind

43:06

of loose bit

43:09

of data that they know how much they lose

43:12

on people throwing stuff in at something else, but

43:14

it's not, it's still cheaper

43:17

than hiring staff in the hills. Yeah,

43:19

so it's like a payoff. So what you're saying is keep rubbing. Absolutely.

43:21

I've given up on it. Rub responsibly, kids. Rub

43:24

responsibly. I had a friend who just refused

43:26

to pay for coffee. So she just

43:28

used to rob Azira. She just was like, I'm not paying

43:30

for Azira. How would she rob coffee

43:32

though? Just stick it down her pants or whatever. Oh my God.

43:35

Yeah, she'd pay for everything out. She was like, I just can't bring

43:37

myself to pay seven quid

43:39

for a, like.