0:02

This is a Global Player original

0:04

podcast.

0:15

Welcome to my Theranos guest. To

0:17

be with me, Bec Williams and her Joanne McNally,

0:20

fresh from the Londoner Hotel, which

0:22

is two minutes from Global, so she's thrilled.

0:24

Yeah, staying in the Londoner. Did you go and sit

0:26

in the toilets like I told you? Straight in. Heated

0:29

toilet seats. I told you, straight

0:32

down. I couldn't get over it. And it's not even like you

0:34

have to turn it on. It's heated at all

0:36

times. Excuse me, are they in all the bedrooms as

0:38

well? Yeah. Oh my God. I

0:40

know. Wow.

0:41

I know. I know, heated toilet seats.

0:44

Living my life. They can wash you. And

0:46

they dry you and all as well. Yeah. But

0:48

I don't know. I haven't

0:49

really gone down that route. I did that and it was a bit

0:51

much on the old, um, the

0:53

bum. Yeah. The bum wasn't great, for

0:55

lack of a better word. Because I know, and

0:57

I think, I think it's saying,

0:59

if I was to really kneel down into

1:01

the bowl and read the instructions, that it can

1:04

shoot water out. Yeah.

1:06

Cleans you. Water cleans you. Yeah, that's,

1:08

that's a lot, like. But I would say that

1:10

you're not really, well,

1:12

maybe you are like a hotel blogger. Oh,

1:15

well, I feel like I'm slightly... Just don't post your ex.

1:18

Don't do it. I'm slightly, I'm kind of turning into,

1:20

I love posting hotel rooms. I think I'm turning into

1:22

a bit of a wanker, but I can't help it. I fucking live

1:24

out of those things. I have to be honest. I

1:26

enjoy seeing other people's hotel

1:28

rooms. I get a kick out of it as well. A room

1:30

tour is my favourite thing. I think we're showing our

1:32

age. But I do, I don't, it's so funny

1:34

because, because I, I was thinking

1:36

about tagging them in the breakfast. I did in the end. But

1:39

I was like, they're not, they're not going to appreciate

1:41

it because my breakfast is ugly.

1:44

I like an ugly breakfast. I like two

1:48

eggs, rock hard. I have to be very clear

1:50

with staff. I'm like, like tennis balls

1:52

because they're like hard. And usually they kind of

1:54

give this grimace of disgust. Rock

1:57

hard, like bounce off the ground, abandoned.

2:00

eggs, like abandon them in the pot. Don't even, don't

2:02

even think about them. Don't set a clock, don't set an alarm. Kind

2:04

of like an egg you'd make for a salad. Exactly.

2:07

And usually they can't get their head around it and a lot

2:09

of the time it'll come out soft anyway because it

2:11

kind of goes against the chef's DNA.

2:14

Yeah, it's

2:14

like asking for like a well done

2:17

steak. Exactly. Too much. Anyway,

2:20

lunch this morning, rock hard.

2:23

I could hardly cut them. I have to say, which is unusual

2:25

for you because you're not always late but you were five minutes late

2:27

and you were literally across the road. I know. Well, do you know

2:29

why it was five minutes late? Because you had a bath. Who has a bath

2:32

in the morning? Because you, because Vogue

2:34

rang me at nine

2:36

minutes past 10 from her home. So

2:38

I was like, she's not going to be in here. I told

2:40

you I was on the road. I brought you in at half 10.

2:43

Where are you? I was on the road with my driver.

2:46

It

2:46

sounds like my personal driver. It was a man

2:48

from Uber. So obviously

2:50

I didn't meant to say a word because I

2:53

don't want to get any less stars

2:54

and he just decided to take me on a

2:56

little tour of London. It's great. I was really

2:58

happy about it. Still didn't say a word. Still

3:00

didn't say a word because her writing's not great. What

3:03

is it now? Two, 2.5?

3:04

It's 4.8 or

3:07

something like that. But I am, no, no,

3:09

maybe it's 4.6. I am, but I'm a five

3:11

star. I'm sorry, but I'm a five. But

3:13

now I learned, Imo showed me into this thing

3:16

where you figure out how many reviews you've

3:18

been left. So Spenny might have a higher rating than me,

3:20

but he's been left like way less

3:22

reviews than me. Yeah. You

3:24

know? I heard you were like minus three or something. I heard it was

3:26

a revamp. It's not great. Maybe it's because I

3:28

have a drink in the car. Like I had my coffee in the car.

3:31

They don't like that. I don't know what it is

3:33

because I like it makes no

3:35

sense that I'd have a higher rating than you. Yet I do.

3:37

It's significantly higher.

3:38

I might pull back on the tipping and

3:41

the talking for a couple of weeks. It's the talking.

3:43

It's not so much the talk. Well, I couldn't talk today and

3:45

I had to go all the way around London because I didn't say

3:47

anything trying to be polite. I told you about my

3:50

passport being left. I've talked about the American embassy.

3:52

Oh, I know. I know. So I can't

3:54

keep my passport on me. I just cannot keep

3:56

it on me. I lose it all the time. I

3:59

pack it somewhere. and then send

4:01

everyone into chaos because it's gone missing. I

4:04

just thought of an idea for you. What? Get

4:06

an air tag for us. Put your air tag in the passport.

4:09

That's such a good idea. Garell does it. He's

4:11

chipped his. That's really clever.

4:14

But when you speak about a passport, like I've got the fear

4:16

now. I'm like, where's my passport? Like I'm starting to think about

4:18

where is it? I guarantee yours is in like a glass

4:20

jar in the house. Probably in like a travel case

4:23

in the safe somewhere. Nothing has ever lasted. So

4:25

anyway, last my passport in Australia, well

4:27

thought I had and then obviously there was all this panic.

4:29

I had to go. I contacted the Australian embassy in Ireland

4:32

and blah, blah, blah. And I was filling out forms. I was

4:33

due to go in and see them. Found it then in a pocket. Everyone's like,

4:35

fuck sake, Joanne. I was like, I'm sorry. So because I had

4:38

to go home. Yeah. So

4:40

I get the visa. I get the password. I

4:43

arrive home from Australia, go to the American

4:45

embassy the next day, thrilled at myself.

4:51

I

4:54

get out of the Uber and I'm walking around trying to

4:57

figure out which queue I

4:59

have to join hoping it's the one with no queue, but that's

5:01

for Americans. I had to join

5:03

the 60 foot long queue anyway. So I'm walking

5:05

around, looking around, trying to figure out where I'm

5:07

going. Next thing, the Uber comes

5:09

up flying back up the road. He's like, Joanne,

5:11

Joanne. I was like, what? He goes, your password's

5:14

in the back seat. I

5:16

was like, Oh my God, again?

5:19

Like again, it's been 48 hours.

5:21

You need an air tag. I

5:23

need an air tag. Imagine

5:25

doing all that queuing and then getting into your

5:27

meeting about your visa and you've no password.

5:30

I'm kind of surprised you haven't sorted all that stuff out

5:32

yet.

5:32

Like I gave spending an air tag and I was like,

5:34

this is great. Like put this in your luggage. And he lost

5:36

his luggage on the way home from New York. And he was like, well, why do

5:38

I care? I know it's in the airport. And I was like, yeah, but

5:40

now you know it's in Heathrow. It's not in America anymore.

5:42

And he's like, that's a load of shit. And I'm like, okay, fine. I'm

5:45

not giving you the air tag. Why would he? Hold on.

5:47

I don't. He basically doesn't appreciate the fact that I was able

5:49

to tell him that his bag had landed in Heathrow. It's

5:52

not in New York anymore. You'll

5:53

get your bag today. And he's like, I don't give

5:55

a shit. Like it doesn't matter where it is. I'll get it.

5:58

And I was like, yeah, but you mightn't have got it. It might've gone to. I don't

6:00

know where he gets that confidence from because loads

6:02

of people don't get their luggage back. I've seen

6:04

them. I wonder where does that luggage go?

6:07

I think it's taken, what I've always just

6:10

found so strange about airports is

6:12

the security around every

6:14

other part of an airport is so high. Do

6:17

you know in some airports, the bad carousel

6:19

is in arrivals. So like people

6:21

are standing there. Just could take any bag. Just couldn't

6:23

take anything. They go down and stand. But it's

6:25

like when

6:26

you have to take off your jewelry and stuff when you're

6:28

going through security

6:30

and it's like anyone, like then you're waiting and your

6:32

bag is like, all your stuff has gone through and it's like, oh,

6:34

anyone could just take that. Well, we

6:36

talk about our weeks. Sure,

6:38

why not? I'll go first. Go

6:40

on then. I turned 40. I

6:43

loved your post about turning 40, can I just say?

6:45

Thank you very much. I'm feeling very positive

6:48

about it. I always thought turning 40 would be

6:50

a very kind of, I don't know why.

6:53

I think because I think people make you feel like that.

6:55

They do and society fetishizes

6:57

the youth.

6:58

Yeah. It does and the old,

7:01

like back in the olden days, Forgy

7:03

was 80, do you know what I mean? Like our parents

7:05

and our grandparents at Forgy, they looked like they were

7:08

in their late 80s. Have

7:10

you seen, yeah, have you seen Blind Date when they're like 2,200? Look

7:13

on, Steve. It's mad. Do

7:15

you know what I mean? Now obviously we have access

7:17

to all sorts of- Skin care.

7:19

Tweakments and treatments and everything. But also I think

7:21

it's like an attitude. There's no such thing as middle age

7:24

anymore. No. It's not what it was.

7:26

But when I was growing up, Forgy just seemed like it was ancient.

7:28

And because I always felt quite childish,

7:33

you know, I was, I am a bit childish, that

7:36

I, 40 seemed like such

7:38

a huge milestone. I was like, what? Am I just

7:40

going to suddenly start wearing floor length maxi dresses?

7:42

Like what happens? No, no, excuse me? Excuse

7:45

me? What's wrong with- Do you have nothing

7:47

to worry about? You're ready for it. What the hell

7:49

is wrong with a floor length maxi dress? You are ready

7:51

for 40, Beau. You've been ready for 40

7:53

since you were 22 years

7:54

of age. But

7:57

Dan, I was coming into it and I kind

7:59

of thought, I always thought

8:02

that I would be nervous about it or feel

8:04

badly about it, but I'm telling you now and this

8:06

is no bullshit I feel like I'm stepping

8:08

into this whole new like chapter

8:11

I really I I'm feeling really positive

8:13

about it and that's not me going. I feel really

8:15

positive about I genuinely There's

8:18

like there's a this wave of calm came

8:20

over me without any medication taken. It was

8:22

just like oh wow I'm

8:24

a full-grown

8:25

adult now. I'm an adult. I couldn't

8:27

make all my own decisions now I don't have

8:29

to wait for anyone to approve anything for me.

8:31

It's all up to me now. I love

8:33

it Yeah, I feel like you get that with 40 I feel

8:35

like when you turn 30 and you realize like

8:38

everyone's kind of sets themselves a milestone for 30

8:40

like I want to be Married. Yeah, I have kids when I'm 30

8:42

only hit that milestone and

8:43

you're neither of them You're just kind of like oh my

8:45

god. I've totally fucked up But by the time you're 40 you're like you

8:47

know what I'm happy with my position I'm totally

8:50

what I want and I don't it's like I am

8:52

unmarried and Child free

8:54

and I'm like totally cool with that No,

8:56

of course, obviously I'll have a janitor plan and want to get pregnant again,

8:59

but for the moment happy you're happy

9:01

You're happy. I text Amber by the way happy better I'm

9:03

her text me

9:04

sorry because your birthday post and I said love

9:06

you best looking 40 year old I've ever

9:08

seen Amber wrote back what

9:10

the fuck folk Because

9:12

didn't she just turn it I said you're not 40 she

9:15

goes here. You're gonna delete the comment on May 31st She's

9:20

out she looks great. She looks great

9:22

for 40 as well This is what we're

9:24

not we're not we're no longer saying she looks great

9:26

for 40 we're saying she looks great Yeah, that's

9:28

what we're saying. She looks great. What

9:30

a he doesn't look great for 37. Let me She

9:34

looks like she has three kids And

9:37

we were in the airport I flew home to be in Dublin for

9:39

the for the birthday because we were in the play team that I before

9:42

doing Yes, and um,

9:44

we were in the airport. There was a bit of a delay and

9:46

Alan was with me so we went to the lounge and

9:49

Alan's legend for free because he is proud of

9:52

Peter snob air club member I

9:54

like you've ever saved one single air mile in your life.

9:56

That's I can't figure

9:59

out the system. No I don't get it either. So,

10:01

your

10:02

mom said to me, look, look, it's 50 quid

10:05

in, but do you want to pay, do you want to pay? And Alan

10:07

was like, you don't want to pay that to you. And I said,

10:09

of course I'm going to pay it. I said, it's my birthday. And

10:11

your mom goes, 25? And I went, oh

10:13

my God, no, I'm 40. And he's like, no,

10:15

I'll do you for 25 points. He's

10:18

like, I'll let you in for 25. How

10:20

nice is that? I know. Because

10:22

I was like, point out a badge

10:23

and everything. You shouldn't let even for free though, come on. I'd

10:26

badge a 40 badge. I really lean into it. You

10:28

have to. It's not over yet. No,

10:30

it is not. I have to plan your party over here. This whole year,

10:33

I'm going to be just leaning into this whole

10:35

thing. We just don't want to trip. Let's go on a trip.

10:37

I love that. Like somewhere nice though.

10:39

I don't want to go to Berlin. I don't want to go rave.

10:41

I want to go somewhere nice. I want to

10:43

go somewhere nice. We're huge in Berlin. You've

10:45

just fucked the tour. No, Berlin scares

10:48

me. I'm sorry to Berlin. Sorry, Berlin. I've just

10:50

really ruined myself and I've gone to you. I

10:52

know exactly what you mean. What you're saying is

10:54

you want to go somewhere peaceful and retreaty.

10:56

Yeah, well, not retreaty. I just want to go and

10:58

lie by a pool, like maybe Greece.

11:01

Yeah, Santorini. Santorini.

11:03

Yeah, no, I'm definitely going to do

11:06

something not big,

11:09

but you have to have a London birthday. I

11:13

usually avoid birthdays, but not this one. No, we

11:15

have to have a London birthday. We have to have a birthday going away

11:17

where we invite a few people and maybe

11:19

another going away birthday at some other time.

11:21

Do you know what it is? And

11:23

I hope I don't become too serene or

11:26

I'll lose my job, but I

11:29

was thinking about it. I actually got kind of emotional on the day

11:32

because Alan gave me, it was the first card I had and it was

11:34

like 40 and you're kind of like, oh shit, this

11:36

is really happening. And then I started

11:38

crying and he's like, okay. And I was like, that's not sadness.

11:41

It's pride. I was like,

11:43

I feel like I finally proven myself to

11:45

myself. Whereas in my thirties,

11:47

I was trying to prove myself to like

11:50

fucking men usually or some shit. Whereas

11:53

now I'm like, Buddhist. I

11:56

hope Amber feels like that when she's already started

11:58

drinking champagne. your birthday. 100%!

12:01

Well as you do on your birthday day so you went to the airport

12:03

we went here. Flew home with Erlingus because

12:06

obviously my passport's in the American Embassy and Erlingus

12:08

are the only airlines that let you fly home on

12:10

a wink and a nod. Yeah yeah

12:12

yeah. They're like sure go on hop on there

12:14

are you Irish go on. Skip

12:17

on it. We would like to say that's not actually true you

12:19

have to have a driver's license.

12:22

Joanne just go on. I don't swear to Erlingus

12:24

I'm coming to New York yeah go on Joanne go on

12:26

Joanne it's your side. Hop

12:28

on there. Up the front of the cockpit

12:30

let the old days. They're like you

12:33

want to have a steer for the birthday. I was like

12:35

whoo those were the good old days.

12:37

I know. Showing brought up. I remember

12:40

watching when I was in my air crash investigation

12:42

phase

12:43

a fly crashed because

12:46

one of the pilots let a child into the cockpit

12:49

and thought that the thing was on autopilot

12:51

and let the child like whoo

12:54

like your dad would with the car. Took

12:56

the wheels whatever you call them what do they call the wings.

12:58

The controllers the controllers. Yeah the controllers.

13:01

And she fucking flew the thing into her

13:03

plane. I should have laughed. It's long and it's

13:06

long ago now though you can kind

13:07

of have. I had to stop watching things like

13:09

that. I was watching the one about Malaysian Airways and stuff and

13:12

it just it really started to freak me out like there's

13:14

so. You're onto it. Who? The pilot.

13:17

Oh well some people think that the pilot did it but

13:19

other people think that someone

13:21

shot the plane down because don't forget there was a plane shot down

13:23

recently over Ukraine. They found

13:26

a stimulator. No

13:28

a simulator machine. What

13:31

kind of stimulator? Speaking

13:34

of stimulators I need to talk to you about that Kegel chair. You know

13:36

they have one in Ireland now. The Evoker Clinic have one in Macleod.

13:38

Do the Evoker Clinic have like Evoker

13:40

food as well? No it's just in Evoker

13:43

but they are near the Evoker restaurant but they don't

13:45

sell. You can't like sit in a chair

13:47

and have a sandwich. Oh my god everyone's been out. Okay anyone

13:50

in Ireland that's where the chair is. I get so

13:52

many messages about the chair for Ireland. Yeah I'm saying

13:54

Evoker Clinic have one in Macleod. Amazing. I couldn't

13:56

believe that we didn't have one before though because it like

13:58

genuinely if you're.

13:59

is having a baby and you're thinking about

14:02

getting her something for a baby shower,

14:05

like a little time on that

14:07

chair. It was the best thing

14:09

that I've ever done. I need to go back on. I need

14:11

to get back on the chair. I'm going

14:12

to Boston tomorrow.

14:17

How many suitcases?

14:20

One. One suitcase. So I'm not bringing a coat

14:22

because I'm just not carrying a coat around so

14:24

I don't know where there is in Boston. I think

14:26

you're going to need a coat of Boston. It takes

14:28

up half the case. Yeah, but you wear it on the

14:30

plane. I got you packing bags as well. Did

14:33

you? Thank you. I'm going to teach you how to

14:35

pack. But anyway,

14:37

so flew home with Erlangus and I

14:41

winked at it all, I hopped on, and they

14:44

threw me a little party on the plane. I

14:46

thought, well, you usually throw yourself a party, so I

14:48

know. It was nice to somebody else. I know. I couldn't

14:50

believe it. Did they just give you a

14:53

little drink? Yeah. No one's giving

14:55

me a tea.

14:55

We're so different.

14:58

They gave me a hard choke. Yeah. Yeah,

15:00

no, he gave me two bottles of wassacko, a chicken sandwich,

15:02

and a bag of potatoes. So

15:05

you bought yourself the gins.

15:06

No, no. No,

15:09

no. Then your woman came down with a trolley

15:11

and she looked at my trade because

15:13

I assume you're okay. And I said, well,

15:15

you'll assume it correctly. I was like, I love two

15:17

gin tonics and a

15:20

Sauvignon. Ellen was driving us home from the airport,

15:22

so he was just sitting there. Sorry.

15:25

That was all for you. I was

15:27

like, oh, hey, hey, coming home, coming home for the birthday.

15:29

Yeah. And then you went

15:31

to your mum's house? Went to my mum's, where

15:33

she had a party with my brother

15:36

and sister-in-law and his two kids. And

15:39

she's so funny. She says, you had this inflatable flamingo.

15:42

I saw the flamingo. I don't know it's me who likes the

15:44

flamingo. She didn't know. She was like, I said,

15:46

what's with the flamingo? I love a feel

15:48

for her. I go, do you have some joke, joke,

15:51

on the podcast? I said, that's Vogue.

15:54

Can you not tell us apart? It's

15:57

getting more and more difficult. I know we

15:59

sound the same. but you're my mother. You're

16:02

probably telling people I married an aristocrat. You obviously

16:04

don't have a clue what's going on in my life. And

16:07

then she had a whole meat platter. Oh. I

16:11

don't, she's like, you love parmaham. I was like,

16:13

I don't love parmaham. And I was giving

16:15

out about it somewhere. I was like, why is she, she

16:17

basically put a

16:18

spread on of everything I don't eat with a pink

16:20

flamingo that was Vogue's joke. I came

16:22

into the kitchen. She just had this plate out with this

16:24

huge pile of parmaham. And I was like, I'm

16:26

sorry, are we just, are we building around pizzas from

16:29

scratch? I remember you saying

16:31

that was good. But I like all those things,

16:33

which she obviously doesn't know I've given up the pig.

16:34

She doesn't know you've given up the pig. I actually

16:37

gave up parmaham. I used to always get a parmaham pizza and

16:39

I gave it up. Cause someone one day mentioned to me, they were

16:41

like, that reminds me of what I

16:43

think human would

16:44

taste like. As

16:46

soon as our friend Andrea said

16:48

it. And I was like, and since that day, it was honestly,

16:51

it was probably about seven years ago now. I cannot

16:54

eat parmaham. It tastes like a human.

16:56

I would say humans are more, I would say meatier,

16:59

but I think parmaham is just the way it's cut, I would

17:01

say. I think we're kind of pig-ish. I think we'd

17:03

be pig-ish.

17:03

I remember I thought one

17:06

of my like moments was,

17:09

I thought tuna was the size of the can.

17:11

I thought they were just tiny fish. Like I thought

17:13

that was just it, that they just took a fish, mashed

17:15

it up and put it in a tin. But

17:17

I didn't realize tunas were these huge shark

17:20

like sized fish. And very

17:23

expensive. I love a

17:24

bit of tuna. That's the only fish I think that travels

17:26

well in a tin. Bit of tuna.

17:29

Who else travels in a tin? Sardines

17:32

travel in tins? I don't eat Sardines. No, I don't

17:34

eat Sardines. No, I didn't eat one of them since the 70s. No, they

17:36

haven't. Did you see, speaking

17:40

of royalty and span, did you

17:42

see the carnation? Well,

17:44

I, obviously,

17:46

do you know it's, so, sorry. No.

17:51

You know, I

17:53

really, like, I really wanted

17:55

to get into it and people were having street parties and stuff like

17:57

that, but we had had our play team that I've formed.

17:59

I was kind of tired. I did catch parts

18:01

of it, but like what I found with

18:03

it like Charles was just kind of like walking

18:05

down the aisle But like he didn't really have any kind

18:07

of face on him He just was like dead pan

18:10

and just looking at people with his crown was it because

18:12

the crown could fall

18:13

off and if the crown Falls off. That's a pretty bad thing. I

18:15

did think he looked I was cuz I woke up the day

18:17

of the coronation I was in yours. Yeah morning

18:20

of the carnation So it was on in the background obviously cuz Vogue

18:22

is royal adjacent and but I was like

18:24

I've already nearly lost my passport a couple Of times I

18:26

don't know fucking what to the coronation. I literally break into

18:28

the house and take it off me It's

18:31

like as an Irish person don't even fucking

18:34

point that tally in my direction or I

18:36

will dissolve A

18:39

bed you I'm was up at half-seven ready for the church

18:41

service In

18:43

the crown yeah my

18:45

own little paper. Yeah, she had one of those flags

18:48

go on Charlie

18:50

and But it

18:52

was funny that I actually I was kind of disappointed that

18:54

I wasn't invited Especially when I saw print areas was invited

18:57

I know and like they obviously have more respect for you

18:59

now than they

18:59

do for him Well, obviously not which

19:01

is kind of rude. I heard he was sitting pretty

19:04

far down the back there I mean you will

19:06

be if you've just you will live with your entire

19:08

family. They're not gonna be like hey Hey, I

19:11

know I can't imagine

19:13

that That any of us finally want to talk

19:15

to them because you know when you find out someone's been

19:17

bitching about you're like well I'm not telling them anything again

19:19

I know but it wasn't even like bitching is bitching

19:22

is done behind closed doors. There's an as you could to

19:24

us Yeah, do you know I mean there's a I even

19:26

doing it to your do the public writing

19:28

a book It's so it's so full

19:30

on about your entire family You know what I read

19:33

about it which so, you know that

19:35

fella oh my scoby

19:37

He's mad. Oh, so he's this he's this

19:39

royal author and it Joe correct

19:41

me if I'm wrong Does he basically get fed information

19:43

from Harry and Megan and then puts it out?

19:46

Yeah, so that's that's pretty much what happens And

19:49

then like Megan said he

19:51

said Megan said the Kate was late because

19:53

her kids were late and it's like You're not

19:55

even there and you're feeding information stop feeding information

19:58

Did you see that?

19:59

By the way, Pornhub

20:02

has been coming back up on my search bar. I

20:05

haven't been that much into it. But there was actually

20:07

a lookalike, so they

20:09

made a new porn film. Would it lookalike Charles

20:11

in it? No. That's

20:13

when you know you're having your moment. He should be delighted. He

20:18

should be absolutely

20:19

thrilled. Yeah. The

20:21

royal penis is clean. Do you remember that?

20:23

I'm coming to America. Do you remember that film? You've

20:26

never seen a film? That was a great movie. It's so

20:28

cool. It's so good. It's

20:30

Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy and what's his name? He's

20:33

an African prince and he's

20:36

in this royal bath and this woman just reemerges

20:38

from the water and he's like, the royal penis is clean.

20:42

But did you

20:43

see when Charles

20:45

was in the car and giving out about

20:47

the traffic and they got a lip reader to

20:49

see? Oh, I know. They had lip readers on all of them.

20:52

What? Like, you can't be, do you? He wasn't

20:54

giving out about the traffic. There was no traffic because

20:57

all the roads were closed for him. But he was saying

20:59

that, why are our family always late? I'm

21:01

kind of loving for that because everyone's family is always

21:03

late. Someone's always an eight person. That's so

21:06

funny. I did think about the traffic. I was like, I just can't

21:08

imagine Charles sitting there behind a Ford Focus

21:10

trying to get to his own event. How bad can

21:12

the traffic

21:13

be? I'd love to have a little go in that thing.

21:16

That little, what's it called? That

21:18

horse and cart. If

21:20

you play your royalist cards right, you

21:24

won't be allowed on an Erlingus film. I hate

21:28

to tell you, babe, Erlingus are now owned by BA. Excuse

21:32

me? That's so confusing. I

21:34

never bring it up. I love Erlingus.

21:36

Did you see Katy Perry at it?

21:39

I didn't. I heard she looked confused.

21:41

It was bad. Poor Katy Perry was just searching

21:43

and searching and searching for her seat. I

21:45

couldn't find it. So what's

21:46

the, like, just because cameras were on her

21:49

and they picked up that she couldn't find her seat. So

21:52

what you're trying to, an embarrassing moment you're

21:54

trying to do privately, like, things,

21:56

you know, things are about that are really embarrassing. You're like,

21:58

oh. And then I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh. Everyone's watching

22:00

it. How did they not have someone escorting her

22:02

to her seat? Well, because think of all the amazing

22:04

people that were there, like all the heads of state

22:07

and everything. They were like, Katy Perry

22:09

wasn't the most important

22:10

person there, well, she kind of was. No, was

22:12

she doing a bit of thing? And was she doing a bit of thing? There

22:14

was a concert. Now I miss the concerts. I

22:16

was in bed. It was such a great movie,

22:19

actually. Are we gone for the coronation?

22:21

Or is she gone? Are we nipping

22:23

through? Or are we on to the next thing? The

22:26

coronation has been and gone. And

22:28

Joanne loved it. Couldn't break her away

22:30

from the TV. The Cori Nash, is that what they're

22:32

calling us? The Cori

22:33

Nash, yeah. Cori Warren, you're

22:35

like, but... I did wonder about that whole lip reading thing,

22:37

though. Like, is that legal? Well,

22:40

yeah. Maybe that's why all the footballers all

22:42

talk like this. They cover their mouth on the field. We

22:44

were going to have to start doing that. The amount of shit we talk. We

22:46

should start doing that on the tour as well. And the paps are constantly

22:49

around you, like...

22:51

Fruit flies. What

22:53

else did I do this week? I took the kids

22:55

to a museum yesterday. I was trying to be

22:58

all, like, cultural.

23:00

Yeah. And there was a museum in the Sachi Gallery

23:02

and it was all about street art and stuff like that. And I thought,

23:04

this is great. They're going to love this. Well, Theodore,

23:06

you have never heard a kid winch so

23:09

much. This is four floors of winching. And

23:11

I was like, I am getting through the four

23:14

floors if it kills me. And then I was like,

23:15

T, which one's your favourite in this room? Nothing!

23:18

And he just shouts that out in front of everyone. I'm like,

23:20

can you just please not do that?

23:22

Even adults are like that in museums. I

23:24

love a museum. I love that it's so nice and quiet.

23:27

But I was looking at people looking at the paintings, thinking

23:29

they're looking at it for a long time. What are they seeing that I'm not

23:31

seeing? I think they're probably trying to see something.

23:34

Like one of those Mirage things. You remember those? And they

23:36

start moving if you look at them the right way. I think there's

23:38

a bit of pressure to take it in. Like, I don't

23:41

think you can nip through

23:42

on a... Like, you can't just kind of slide through a museum.

23:45

I think. I don't know.

23:53

Welcome to my therapist's goes to me. Sorry,

23:56

welcome. Welcome

23:58

back. I

24:05

interviewed, so I always kind of thought that

24:07

I would maybe have a future as a

24:10

chat show host. Yeah.

24:12

Now the only reason I thought that was because people ask you, what

24:15

do you work towards? What's the girl? And I didn't

24:17

have one. So I just kind of started saying chat shows

24:19

because that's what people say. Well, Christiana did it. Why could

24:22

she not do it?

24:22

Did she? Yeah, she had a chat show for a while. I mean,

24:24

it got cancelled after one season, but like she had a chat show.

24:27

Yeah. I mean, I mind would definitely get cancelled

24:29

after one season. If it even makes it to that. But yeah, so it's

24:31

a chat show. I think I'm interested in people. I'd

24:33

be a good chat show host. Anyway, Annie Mac. Oh yeah.

24:36

DJ.

24:36

I was going to say Irish DJ, but

24:38

that isn't that's she's just like an international

24:41

DJ from Ireland. Yeah. Has

24:43

written a book, second book called The Mess Were In

24:45

and she had sent it to me and I really enjoyed it. So and I was

24:47

telling her I really

24:48

enjoyed it. I'm going to start with that. You gifted it

24:50

to me. It's really good. I did. I

24:53

gifted it to you. And I said, she has a podcast and she was like, look, why

24:55

would you interview me on my podcast

24:57

about my book? Because she just interviews other people. Yeah. And

25:00

I was like, oh my God, I'd love that. I'd be absolutely honored. That's

25:02

kind of cool. I'm like, is like, Annie Mac is cool. She's

25:04

cool. She's cool. Yeah. Anyway,

25:07

I was like, this is something I'd really enjoy doing. Oh

25:09

my God. It was like my brain

25:12

just shut down.

25:16

I felt so bad. Joanne came home.

25:18

He thought it's the face she made. She was so bad. She

25:20

was so shocked. It couldn't have been that bad. It was

25:22

that bad. It couldn't have been. It was that bad.

25:25

At one stage, she was like, oh my God. At one stage, she's

25:27

so like, she was like, you're doing a really good job.

25:30

Oh no. It was basically like, so

25:32

you wrote a book. Did you

25:35

like writing a book? Did

25:37

you think you'll write another book?

25:40

What's it like writing a book? What's

25:42

your favorite thing about it? What

25:43

was your least favorite thing about writing a book? It

25:45

was like interviewing a child who's written. Yeah.

25:49

I just had no, I don't know what it was because I was

25:51

listening to what she was saying. And because I've no

25:53

experience of interviewing anyone, because me and

25:55

Vogue just scream

25:56

at each other for an hour every week. It's

26:00

about who talks louder. So

26:03

it's not like, and it's,

26:07

my real was, everything she

26:09

says, you can't go, me too, same.

26:11

You can't do that Joanna, because it's about her.

26:14

So you can't be like, oh yeah. It does have to be about

26:16

them. You can't be like, oh my God, that happened to me. That's so

26:18

weird. Yeah, you can't. So I

26:20

have to let her talk and then you're kind of, lettering

26:23

her talk and you're like, don't just be thinking about the

26:25

next question. Just be present in the

26:27

moment. But then, so when she finished talking,

26:30

I was too present. I was just too fucking

26:32

present. Did you not have like questions

26:34

written there? I did, I was like, hold on, sorry Annie. Hold

26:37

on a second. No. What

26:40

was the word count? Okay, hold on a second.

26:42

There's nothing worse, this is obviously

26:44

not about Annie, but like I interviewed people a

26:46

bit. And when someone's like super

26:48

boring, like back in the day when I would have been

26:51

doing this interesting thing. So

26:53

it would be super boring. I'd find myself

26:56

and I'd start thinking about my shopping or something and I'd be

26:58

like, oh God,

26:58

oh God. I know, I do that, like back

27:00

in the room, back in the room. Stop at it. Sausages,

27:04

black pudding, I'm gonna get a few eggs. The

27:07

kids are wanting an omelette now on Friday. But I told

27:10

you that's what happens with Spenny. And sometimes

27:12

like I'll ask him a question about something. I can't,

27:15

like I'm like, I asked him a question that I want to

27:17

know the answer to, but then he starts answering it and it's really boring.

27:19

And I find myself, I just walk off. I

27:21

just leave the room and he's like, he comes to me and he's like,

27:23

that's so rude. I'm like,

27:27

I don't even know I do it because I'm like, sorry,

27:30

I actually just naturally got bored and left.

27:32

Yeah, I mean, what can you do when your

27:35

instincts scream? Leave, you just

27:37

gotta leave. But that's why being in a room

27:39

with Spencer

27:39

and Vogue, it's like, it's

27:41

actually hard on your neck muscles because

27:45

Spencer will start telling me something and he's up

27:47

here because he's not being into personal space.

27:49

No, not at all, he has a space in space. And he's telling me

27:51

something and he's trying to tell me a story or whatever.

27:54

And I can think Vogue will just interrupt in the middle of

27:56

it like that. Are you staying for dinner? Do you

27:58

have any thoughts about the pot?

27:59

And so they're both talking to me now. And obviously

28:02

my allegiance is to Vogue. So I

28:04

have to, my head has to turn to her, but

28:06

then I'm kind of trying to still engage him. It's

28:08

a lot. So

28:11

there's another thing that he does that he will tell you the same thing

28:13

four different ways in a row, all in one

28:15

go. So he'll

28:16

start, I'm like, oh well, we can't,

28:18

well we go here and he's like, well we can't go there because

28:20

of this. And you know it's because of this that we can't go

28:22

there. And this is, and I'm like, I heard you the first

28:24

time. And then he'll start telling me something and I might be

28:26

like stirring my tea or something. And he's like, are

28:28

you listening? And I'm like, no, I close my ears.

28:30

I'm not listening. Like, of course I'm listening.

28:32

You have to like focus on it. It's

28:35

too intense. He is quite full on. Just

28:37

let me do my bits and then I'll listen. But

28:40

he

28:40

is full on. But also when I was, I

28:44

can't even say interviewing Annie Mack. I don't know what

28:46

I would call it. I think that's gonna sound amazing.

28:49

I'm gonna listen to it. Sitting with her. I

28:51

don't know

28:54

if it's sitting with Annie Mack. Just enjoy

28:56

being in her company. And

28:59

be like, so what is a book? Like

29:01

really ask me the most basic questions.

29:04

I like the picture on the front. Also

29:09

then second guessing everything I said because she

29:12

had this like huge shift in career in

29:15

her forties. Basically she left Radio

29:17

One. And I had this big

29:19

show and kind of pivoted into

29:22

being an author now, which is I just think very

29:24

inspiring. Just

29:27

a shame. Stop saying she's inspiring,

29:29

Joanne stop it. If you say it

29:32

again, they're gonna kick you out. Stop

29:34

it. She's so bad. Because she's

29:36

so cool. She's so cool.

29:37

If she wasn't as cool as she was, it would have been okay.

29:40

I know. You could see her kind of going, what

29:42

have I done here? I should have just

29:44

got an AI to interview me. That would have been

29:46

more of a personality. But then

29:49

anything, I was like, I just think

29:50

it's amazing that you can, I

29:53

think it's so cool to

29:55

change career. Cause I

29:58

kind of did it as well. I

30:00

had less to lose because I, you

30:02

know, she was moving from a very

30:04

successful career. I was just moving

30:06

from a job really. But I

30:09

was like, I just think it's so important for people

30:11

to change it up whenever they can. You know, if

30:14

you could be a nurse one day and why not

30:16

like, you know, retrain yourself

30:18

into being a gymnast or whatever. And

30:20

then I'm like,

30:21

but obviously only, I understand

30:24

I'm privileged. Like then all this fucking privileged

30:26

shit starts coming into your head because you can imagine people going,

30:29

Oh, you think I'm a, I'm a nurse. You think I don't have bills

30:31

to pay. I'm going to be a fucking gymnast.

30:33

I'm like, I'm so sorry. I'm

30:36

going to go work in a food bank for a week. I

30:38

just took second guess yourself

30:41

all the time. Joanne,

30:42

everyone has the same 24 hours.

30:50

Just kicking homeless people as you leave. Look

30:53

at you, you lazy bastard. I

30:56

think you'll be fine. It is a shame

30:58

that she is who she is. Like, you know, it was

31:00

more than me. It would have been okay. You

31:02

know, do you know what it's not because she's not

31:05

like, she's not, she doesn't, she's

31:07

not trying to be an intimidating person. I don't find her

31:10

like that. She's very affable, really

31:12

like really sad, really cool, really nice,

31:14

really easy to chat to. But I just

31:17

am not used to interviewing people.

31:19

And it is actually a skill that

31:21

I

31:22

maybe assumed would be easier to

31:24

just bang it out than it was. Like you'd have to

31:26

really learn how to do it. I

31:29

find it's just like my level of nosiness really

31:31

helps me for that. So like when I

31:33

did all my documentaries and stuff, like I just want to know, like

31:36

I want to know things about people I have no idea about.

31:38

Like I'd like to know about like

31:40

Jo's

31:40

mom and stuff like that. Like why do I care about that? But

31:42

I do. You know, I've met her. Yeah.

31:46

Jo's mom and dad came to one of the shows in Yova. Yeah.

31:49

Oh, in Yova. And they're very

31:51

cool. Are they? Yeah. I'm quite

31:53

shocked. Seriously, what happened to Jo? Yeah. Ah.

31:57

I was like, oh, you don't say. Yeah, you don't like off your parents.

31:59

I was like, I'd go drink them at you guys. For

32:03

sure. That one, has he come to one of our shows then? Do we

32:05

have anything in Yovah now that you really turned your nose

32:07

up with Joanne? We've gone for that. Well, Yovah

32:09

was where they didn't even put me on the wall and they post my

32:11

post. I had signed a poster. Joanne,

32:14

you're not us biggest post-monpact take us down.

32:17

I'm absolutely not. And nor will I ever be.

32:19

And that's fine.

32:20

A couple of people sent me

32:22

this review from Amazon

32:26

and

32:33

I ended up falling into a

32:35

review hole, which if you have any time

32:37

in your hands, I would suggest go and have a bath and

32:39

start looking at the funniest reviews ever left. It's

32:42

a fantastic haul to go down. It really is.

32:44

It's one of the best hauls. So this

32:46

is what is

32:47

for sale on Amazon. Mini babies, 200

32:49

pieces. They are one inch

32:52

mini plastic babies. They

32:54

could be put into an ice cube. Like there's

32:56

a party favors. They're described as a word

32:58

mini babies or a decoration. So

33:00

here's the review. Five stars. I

33:03

bought these so I could hide them everywhere for my

33:05

fiance to find. At first he thought it

33:07

was a charming new bit of mine. He thought I

33:09

had only one or two of these plastic tiny

33:11

babies. He thought wrong. Hearing

33:13

his deep exhausted sigh followed by, oh

33:16

my God, because he has found baby

33:18

number 175.

33:23

Has brought me more joy than

33:25

I could ever describe. Is

33:28

that a paper bit? The fear in his eyes

33:30

when

33:30

he opens anything because

33:32

he is expecting a small plastic baby

33:36

has produced more serotonin than you can

33:38

imagine. He

33:40

is a broken man.

33:43

I have destroyed his hope of living

33:45

a life free of tiny plastic babies. We

33:50

will be finding these for the next 70 years. I

33:52

will purchase these again. I

33:56

love her. She's absolutely.

34:00

want in a relationship. Fear.

34:03

Fear of finding, finding shit

34:05

that someone else has planted there. I just

34:08

think it's just a bit winding people up all

34:10

the time. It is. It's so funny. It's

34:12

like the joke that won't end. Sometimes jokes,

34:15

they're funny at the start and then they stop being funny.

34:17

But if you just keep going, they get

34:19

funny again. It's like there's a comedian.

34:22

I can't remember his name. There

34:24

was this comedian. He had this bit where he would come

34:27

out on stage, say nothing and just throw

34:29

a pen up and try and catch it on his ear. So

34:32

at the start, people were like, and

34:34

then it went on and on. Everyone was like, it

34:36

was just, we're really quiet. Like it's

34:38

a risky move. And then someone

34:40

was at the show, they were telling me and then he just goes

34:42

on so long that eventually people are like, come

34:45

on, come on. And they get really into it. And

34:47

then at the end, he gets it. And they're giving it standing

34:49

ovations and everything. Yeah. Really funny.

34:52

Anyway, I love a cheap

34:52

joke. Buy those babies. But someone told

34:55

me it was again really funny. Oh

34:57

my God, Shelley. I'd actually buy

34:59

them when I'm scared when my kids would choke on them. That's

35:02

hilarious. When my kids are older,

35:04

I shall be also purchasing. Mini

35:06

babies, 200 pieces.

35:09

Tiny baby babies. Hershey

35:12

people found this review helpful. So

35:14

funny. I'd

35:15

love that for my birthday. Okay, I cancelled the

35:17

ring. We're like, yeah. Okay, granddad. I'd

35:20

actually seen another

35:22

thing that was this woman and she'd gone climbing up

35:24

a mountain and there was pictures

35:27

of her like falling down the mountain.

35:29

And she'd left the review and she's like,

35:31

these leggings are amazing. I didn't want to

35:34

climb up the mountain and I began falling down backwards

35:36

and they never ripped. I will definitely buy

35:38

them again. She's just like, skidding

35:40

down a hill. Look at this restaurant

35:42

review, Four Stars. Nice restaurant,

35:45

very attentive staff, only to doctor the star

35:47

as there was a man murdered beside me towards

35:49

the end of my meal. What?

35:52

There was another one. You know those things that like you

35:54

put your iPad or your Kindle in and it like protects

35:57

them from water. You always see tourists going around.

35:59

Yeah.

35:59

So this guy left a review. Got

36:02

this for the mother-in-law for bath time. Hoping

36:04

it'd be crap. Her Kindle would slip out

36:06

an electrocuter.

36:07

So far, this bloody thing

36:09

is staying in one piece. Great

36:11

for waterproof kindling crap for merger. Do

36:16

you want to hear a couple of

36:17

reviews about us? No.

36:20

You have to. I don't want to. Come

36:22

on. A review from the Irish Times. Oh.

36:25

I'm surely not the first person to wonder what

36:27

the neighboring royals, now inching ever

36:29

closer to the throne, are thinking when

36:32

Vogue Williams takes the airwaves with her bestie,

36:34

Joanne McNally, to talk about

36:37

bestiality or vaginal

36:39

tightness or just curse up a blue

36:41

streak. You'd worry that given the English

36:43

muckity's feelings about one's need for discretion,

36:46

all this loose upper-lipness could

36:48

have Tower of London consequences. Is

36:51

he saying our lips

36:51

are loose? That's what I heard there. He

36:54

just put in key, he just put in vaginal tightening

36:56

and loose lips in the one. Stephanie,

36:59

who wrote that? I'm not

37:01

going to be lip shamed by some lad in the Irish Times.

37:04

You don't know how loose they

37:05

are. I'm doing my best out here. This

37:08

is obviously a Denny Mailer. It's from a time when I

37:10

was in Paris. Jesus. I wonder how many

37:12

Cadbury cream eggs she could get in her mouth at once.

37:14

That thing is huge. It's like a

37:17

chasm. There's

37:19

no way

37:20

she was born a girl. Surely.

37:22

What? What?

37:25

What?

37:28

What? Otto's

37:33

mouth is absolutely huge. The theatre is starting to grow

37:35

into his, I think. But I just... You mean it's

37:37

growing into him or he's growing into it?

37:40

He's growing into it. His face is getting

37:42

bigger, so it's holding the mouth. That's what I looked

37:44

like when I was younger, just like one of those little zippy

37:46

things.

37:47

What's that man? Zippy. Zippy

37:49

or Pac-Man? Otto.

37:52

Joanne, I'm sent a story and I'm assuming you were sent

37:55

to 10,000 Times as well. Oh yeah. I'm

37:58

going to Pani for every time I was...

37:59

is tied in the story about that woman

38:02

surviving in the bush on mine, I wouldn't

38:04

have to step foot into this podcast studio ever

38:07

again. I'd be hanging out with Richard Branson

38:09

on his What's His Island Vanilla part

38:11

or whatever it's called. Necker. Necker.

38:14

Yeah. I'd be over there. Do you know the phrase? It's like

38:16

the joke. You're like, ha ha, first couple of times.

38:19

And then it's kind of like, all right, girls, come on,

38:21

Nick. I must have got it a hundred

38:23

times, honestly. I don't

38:24

know. It was, yeah,

38:27

it was like being attacked. I was accosted

38:29

by that story for like 48 hours. And

38:32

also, it's not even. So I

38:34

read it. I was like,

38:36

who is this girl? Add her to the WhatsApp. She

38:39

doesn't drink. What happened was she was lost in the bush

38:42

and she'd have bottle of wine

38:42

for her mother and she sipped

38:45

on it for 48 hours to hydrate herself.

38:47

A fucking bottle of wine. I'd have that gone by 9 a.m. She

38:50

sipped on it. I thought that would make you dehydrated,

38:52

more dehydrated. Yeah, that's a very

38:54

valid point. So how she went and she

38:57

also had car snacks, by the way, I would just like

38:59

to say, right? She's lost

39:01

for a week. One bottle of wine over three days. Yeah.

39:04

One bottle of wine over three days. Yeah,

39:06

sure. That woman's not a legend. She's

39:10

approved. So

39:14

Ireland is out of the Urvishon already. I'm

39:17

horrified. Wild youth. Great

39:19

song. Great song. Lovey Lads. Amazing

39:21

performance. But I

39:23

did see

39:26

like a couple of people before

39:28

and after. Oh yeah, come on. I have to say

39:30

like Croatia, what they did was

39:32

wild. Like it was, Svenny was watching it and I was

39:34

like, Svenny, have you never seen the Urvishon before? And he was like, I

39:37

don't understand. Basically, Croatia

39:39

had like the most insane military

39:42

kind of drag shows. Svenny

39:45

was like, he just couldn't understand it. I

39:47

was like, what do you think the Urvishon is? It's meant

39:49

to be things

39:50

like that. Like it's meant to be kind of wild and

39:52

out there. It's not just like, I

39:55

miss the glory days. Well,

39:59

Ireland.

39:59

all the time. We used to be really

40:02

good at the Eurovision. We were really good because

40:04

we did kind of traditional Irish

40:06

style songs and then

40:08

we stopped winning because we started

40:10

doing like pop songs and

40:12

then there was this conspiracy going around

40:14

saying that Ireland was intentionally putting in shit

40:16

songs because they couldn't afford to host it anymore.

40:18

Which is like Ireland's biggest conspiracy

40:21

theory. It's basically our 9-11 or Wuhan.

40:23

That's how basic conspiracy theory is in Ireland

40:25

because it goes around everyone's evidence. I believe

40:27

it's true. They're like they're doing this on purpose. The

40:30

government are sabotaging us because they don't want to pay

40:32

to have a put on again. They were 100% sabotaging

40:35

us. Yeah, no, I agree. I agree. How'd

40:37

you Edward didn't bring it home though? Come on, they're perfect

40:39

for the Eurovision. Do you

40:41

remember that one? I am the voice of the wind and

40:43

the ball.

40:44

Niamh Cavanagh. She was great. No, that was Niamh

40:46

Quinn. A Niamh Cavanagh one at one year

40:48

as well. And what's her name? Dana. Dana,

40:51

Dana, one at yes. She was the OG. God,

40:53

we used to be so... Rock and roll kids. I

40:55

don't remember them. We were the

40:57

rock and roll kids. Rock and

40:59

roll is all we did. Did they make that song up? Yeah.

41:02

It's great. It's a... I thought that was someone

41:04

like Elton John or something. No, it's a... They rock

41:07

and roll kid lads. Wow, they were

41:09

good. Anyway, I ran Garaod. I hate you though.

41:11

Come on. I don't want to

41:13

go and see them in concerts. Bangor Cheryl Cole off

41:15

that note.

41:18

We got a five, five, five. I rang

41:20

Garaod accidentally during the

41:22

Eurovision because I didn't know it was on. And

41:25

Garaod's like, I can't believe you're ringing me. The Eurovision's on. I was

41:27

like, you're not even that gay. Like, why do you care?

41:30

He's pretty gay. Garaod. He's not that

41:32

gay. He is. He's definitely Eurovision

41:34

gay. Did you think? Oh yeah. He'll

41:36

be delighted to hear that name. He'll be absolutely

41:39

thrilled. Best Eurovision song ever was

41:41

Euphoria.

41:41

Hands down. Euphoria.

41:44

Oh no.

41:46

Who did that? Who was that? Who won that?

41:49

Dunno. How do you remember all this?

41:51

That was a great tune. Great tune. Laureen

41:53

from what country? Did it say Arden Lill

41:55

points? They're

41:58

doing it in sections now.

41:59

It's like it's not just one competition. They're

42:02

really dragging it out. They're dragging it out. Can you imagine

42:04

that it used to be on, I think it was, where was it on? I don't

42:06

remember in Ireland. Can you imagine having that

42:08

many people performing in one venue? Like you've

42:10

been in venues, you know what they're like. Can

42:12

you imagine everyone crammed into a dressing room? They didn't take

42:14

the space. I'd say

42:16

the rider was shit. Yeah, I wouldn't

42:19

say you get much on the, I'm sure they have to fly themselves

42:21

over. Do you think? Make

42:23

your own way. Oh, of course. Pay for your

42:25

own hotel. Of course. I actually didn't really watch

42:27

it. I was in London last night, but by chance I actually didn't know

42:29

it was on either. And then Croatia came on

42:31

and I obviously then couldn't turn the tally off because

42:34

it was so wild. I'm looking for something,

42:36

I'm looking for kind of a new sense of purpose and I

42:38

think it could be the Eurovision. You think can

42:40

I join you? I've always wanted to be a pop star. Yeah, I

42:42

just think I could get into it. I think it's either

42:45

that or Ayahuasca. So I'm thinking I might

42:47

just commit to the Eurovision. You are going to be doing Ayahuasca

42:49

though. A hundred. A hundred

42:51

percent. Hook me up with the shaman. I woke up like,

42:54

give me a week to recover from my weekend and I'm

42:56

going to be str- I'm going to be trying to find a local shaman.

43:00

I want to start with the microdosing. Yeah,

43:02

licking little magic frogs. Microdosing.

43:05

I'm worried that I'll become too spiritual though.

43:08

I don't think that we need- that's not a real concern

43:10

for me. Okay. Okay, I think you're going to be okay.

43:13

I'm like, how do I write a stand-up shelf? I'm just serene.

43:16

You know, it does concern me. What

43:18

if I epiphanize

43:18

too much? No, you'll

43:20

blow your life up for a stand-up. That's really

43:23

sweet, thank you. You're very welcome. It's

43:25

very reassuring. I find that very reassuring. Yeah,

43:28

you'll do a great job of blowing your life up. Thank

43:30

you. I found something- two things out this week. Well,

43:32

one thing I found out. There's a new dating

43:35

trend called zambied. Have

43:37

you ever heard of it? No. So I actually

43:39

figured out that I wasn't ghosted, I was zambied. So

43:42

basically, zambied is if you

43:44

get ghosted, but then they bring you back from the dead.

43:47

Oh nice, you get resuscitated. You get resuscitated

43:50

only to get ghosted. Yeah. So

43:52

I got fucking double ghosted on zambied. Just

43:54

hit by who? In a previous life,

43:56

before I met my current husband, I was-

43:59

Zombie'd but the most the worst part

44:02

about it is so you get ghosted they bring you back

44:04

from the dead But you know I didn't even hold

44:06

out

44:06

like half an hour before responding

44:08

to that text to the zombie detectors like

44:10

hey Hey, oh, where have you been you're

44:13

like I'm already in the garden, buddy And

44:16

then why don't you come over here like open the door? I've

44:20

been waiting in your lobby for

44:22

a year. Ah, yeah, I've

44:24

been zombie'd loads I

44:26

think that's

44:26

nearly worse, and I actually didn't realize I'd been

44:28

zombie'd until I read about zombie'd I've

44:31

I had a guy Who I fancied

44:33

for years and then he'd broken up with his

44:35

girlfriend and we got together and then within 48 hours

44:38

He got in back with her. Oh No,

44:40

so it was like he'd broken up with

44:42

her to test the waters He tested

44:45

memes

44:45

like the waters are not great And

44:51

hostile There's

44:53

nothing sexual about these waters. I'm

44:56

never going into those waters again get me

44:58

my dinghy I'm

45:01

gonna roll myself safety

45:04

Don't point your waters at me

45:06

again John I Remember

45:09

it was so embarrassing because one of the girls had to ring

45:11

me and I was still like flying high I'm the fact that

45:13

I've been with them, and she was like I do you

45:15

know the way she's like hey Have

45:18

you heard from?

45:19

Blah blah blah and I was like well no, but like

45:22

obviously you know it's only Wednesday,

45:24

so you know and she's like

45:26

oh He's

45:29

back with your one, and I was like yo, I'm sure

45:31

it didn't last John

45:32

sure didn't I didn't actually in fairness good Good,

45:34

we have nothing to us Thank

45:36

you. I'm glad you're so supportive of my marriage Waiting

45:40

for the next sash, but waiting for the next

45:43

sash

45:43

I

45:48

Am packed and ready to go Where

45:51

to Dubai yeah, doob's what

45:53

you do by don't don't even do be Dubies

45:57

and well yeah, I'm packed and ready to go to Boston

46:00

ticket to I can't believe

46:02

we're going to be doing something

46:04

to what's happening

46:07

like various where we

46:09

staying all I know is I'm packing and getting

46:11

a blow-dry before the show that's all that's all I need to

46:13

know they're my basics

46:14

also

46:17

Newcastle I know that you really just like Joanne

46:20

but I'm also going so we

46:22

have a we've a few tickets that for it the second

46:24

night of Newcastle so do you

46:27

come it's very hard to not to say Newcastle

46:29

that you're the accent you've got to look

46:31

at every that it's not always a terrible it's not like

46:33

when someone does an Irish accent and it makes money for

46:35

me I think no it is not that sounds like a new

46:37

castle Newcastle

46:40

you guys are instead of but no I've gone well that's

46:42

racist okay

46:47

thank you for listening we will see you next week see

46:49

you next week