0:00

The McElroy brothers are not experts

0:03

and their advice should never be followed. Travis

0:06

insists he's a sexpert, but

0:08

if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

0:11

Also, this show isn't for kids, which

0:14

I mentioned only so the babies out there will

0:16

know how cool they are for listening. What's

0:19

up you cool baby? Hello

1:10

everybody, welcome to my brother, my

1:13

brother, me and advice show for

1:15

the modern era. I'm your oldest

1:17

brother Justin McElroy. What up Trav

1:19

Nation? It's me, your middle-est brother

1:21

Travis McElroy. Whatever Trav Nation, it's

1:24

Griffin, you know. Guys, guys, Monday,

1:27

Monday, the eclipse, the

1:29

previous Monday a week ago

1:31

was the eclipse. I watched

1:33

it with my children, I stared

1:35

at it the whole time, start

1:37

to finish the moment I started to know and

1:40

I am so excited to say,

1:42

guys, my powers have come in.

1:45

I'm so proud of you. Since the eclipse,

1:47

I have gotten

1:52

1 to 4 percent stronger, 1 to

1:54

4 percent faster, 1 to 4 percent more

1:58

invincible. I think he's a

2:00

little bit larger and creaky. I think that he's a little

2:03

bit creaky. When he says powers, I think

2:05

he maybe is talking about his pubes. And

2:07

it's just, it's made me... He's that from just

2:10

better hydration. I think I'm

2:12

ready to start fighting crime, saving

2:14

people. Like normally, like,

2:17

say I'm like doing bicep curls, right? And I'm

2:19

doing like a 25 pounder. Now

2:22

I'm able to do like 26 or 27. That's

2:26

wild. That's wild. Are you

2:28

just taping a one pound weight 25

2:30

pounder? I would say it's a lot

2:32

of washers and safety pins that I

2:34

find. Some bolts. And

2:37

normally I could walk a mile

2:40

comfortably in like 17, 18 minutes.

2:43

I could probably do it in like 16, 45, 17, 15,

2:46

somewhere in there. They're

2:50

spending a lot faster. Like if I got

2:52

shot by a bullet, I think it would

2:54

take a little longer to move my skin.

2:57

Hey, Trev, were you in

2:59

the path of the totality in

3:01

your home? I, Justin, thank you

3:04

for asking. I follow the path

3:06

of totality. That's where I'm at now. That's

3:08

my mindset. He's walking the path of totality.

3:12

But yeah, I was not in the path of

3:14

totality in my own home, but in my in-laws'

3:17

home, yes, I was. We drove up. Damn,

3:20

your in-laws must be strong as fuck,

3:23

dude. Yeah. Yeah. But

3:26

I'm hoping that over time, my

3:28

powers do continue to develop, and I get maybe

3:30

10% stronger over time. Okay.

3:34

So maybe the totality

3:36

path went through seven

3:39

cities named Nineveh because

3:41

God wanted to make his soldiers stronger.

3:43

Everyone heard about this. Yeah. I'm

3:46

sorry, what? There's the last eclipse.

3:50

Oh, it's always so sad, doesn't it, Griff?

3:52

The totality went through seven cities called Salem.

3:55

As long as you're closing around, you just got the one pistol. You

3:57

got one shot. In time, baby. We're

3:59

going through. Nineveh, another Bible City

4:01

name so you know what that means.

4:04

The big one. Oh, okay. The big

4:06

one's coming with all the horses and whatnot.

4:09

Well, I'll be able to fight

4:11

the horsemen now as long as they are

4:13

just a little bit stronger than I used

4:15

to be but not stronger than I am

4:17

now. I've always said that about Travis. He's

4:20

almost as strong as a horse on

4:22

a good day and bad horse. No, I

4:24

did say horsemen. No, I don't think the

4:26

pale horse shows up just like, what up?

4:28

It's actually me. No horse of death. You

4:31

think you 360 no scope pestilence off

4:33

of his horse and the horse also

4:35

isn't still going to be a problem?

4:37

The celestial sort of like skella horse

4:39

isn't going to try and cause a

4:41

little bit of mayhem? I think that

4:44

you would get a moment of confusion

4:46

from the horse without your opening. I

4:49

would actually take out the horse first because

4:51

I'm saying I would have an easier time

4:53

fighting pestilence on the ground. We

4:56

could have made such a better left behind. It's not

4:58

even fucking funny how much better of a left behind.

5:00

What's up Travis? Did you look? You

5:03

could tell me. Did you look? I

5:06

had glasses. I looked

5:09

at it for like, I stepped outside. I stepped outside and

5:11

I was like, where is it even? And

5:15

then I looked right at it

5:17

without the special stuff on me, which

5:20

I did eventually then put on but it doesn't feel

5:22

good to do that. What's it like to have a

5:24

second blind spot, Griffin? It

5:26

actually perfectly hit the first door. You

5:30

always kind of have a little bit of

5:32

an eclipse going on. Yeah, I'm always not

5:35

quite totality, but it's a. Charlie

5:38

came up to me and said, guess what, daddy, at the

5:40

next eclipse, I'll be 30. And I said, fuck.

5:48

That can't be right. The

5:51

next eclipse, someone, they're always happening

5:53

somewhere. Wait what? That's

5:57

not right either. I mean

5:59

from someone's. Perspective in space the moon is in

6:01

front of the Sun all the time if you think about

6:03

it that way whoa sad whoa I

6:05

mean, it's that's life man That's beautiful,

6:08

but we're aren't we lucky to be

6:10

here on this podcast and on this

6:12

planet here together Fuck you

6:14

talk about the the world the

6:18

The visited my show and we

6:20

have do you guys I started thinking about

6:22

it during the eclipse do you guys remember? I guess

6:25

it was like eight or nine years ago

6:27

now probably not then during the no You'll

6:29

remember during the last eclipse We

6:32

like fucked up the audio

6:34

really bad and talked like we

6:36

were from a parallel dimension that we changed the

6:38

album art So it was like negative. There's

6:40

no way we did all that work. I think I was

6:43

a dream I think I mean, okay

6:45

guys head on out to the bone yard. I

6:47

see both of you all Furiously

6:49

googling. I'm trying to figure it out Rachel

6:51

if you could play a clip of that

6:54

audio right here So

6:56

it says my brothers can hear that would be

6:58

great The

7:04

McElroy brothers are not experts and

7:06

their advice should never be followed frankly,

7:09

it's weird seeing anybody use twagger for

7:13

Anything other than just like complementing each other and

7:15

being like really really nice to each other which

7:17

is which is of course In

7:19

in this world and I don't know why I said

7:21

in this world But in this world just sort of

7:23

the way that everyone Uses

7:25

twagger. How did you guys to

7:28

be fair though? President

7:30

O'Connell has never been a traditional I

7:32

mean after he broke the country up

7:35

into eight different countries Yeah At

7:37

that point using twagger to make announcements isn't

7:39

really that big a deal if you think

7:42

about it So boys the question on everybody's

7:44

mind is how did you

7:46

spend the Sun period? Locked in

7:48

a closet by bully children. I

7:50

literally just said I know okay

7:53

Obviously Dane is uncle Dane is

7:55

on one of his cantankerous rants

7:58

Danes drops That

8:00

he does his veins veins

8:02

listen. I'll be done I'll

8:05

be the first one to go against the grain here Against

8:08

sort of the cult Against the against one that this

8:10

is one of Danes grains where I'm going against it

8:12

and sort of rubbing up against Sort

8:14

of because I know everybody's always saying how great Millennials are

8:16

are I'll be the first one to say that I think

8:18

there's some issues Here I'll be and I'll be the first

8:21

one to highlight those whoa Yeah,

8:23

I'm downtown Dane. That's so like

8:25

I I can't even get

8:27

on board with you Dane cuz like think

8:29

about all the things that Millennials have saved.

8:31

They've saved the napkin industry. Yeah, yeah, yeah

8:34

Housing industry. They've saved the magazine industry. They've

8:36

saved everything This is this might

8:38

be a weird thing to say because we're literally just

8:40

like saying things that happened today on this like You

8:43

know a very special day where

8:45

the Sun came out But I and and

8:47

we're just saying the truth right but I

8:49

for some reason I feel this thing in

8:51

my gut We're like this bit isn't working

8:55

I Did

8:57

we keep it up for the whole episode memory

9:00

serves everyone hated it Well

9:05

may have been for the whole episode are you guys

9:08

still not finding any evidence of this no man

9:10

I think you I think you're being I

9:14

think I think you're being Mandela pretty

9:16

hard. You're Mandela and yourself a self

9:18

Mandela The Sun shines on

9:20

our dark planet. Yeah. No, okay. That was a long time

9:22

ago The

9:25

Sun shines on our dark planet. Yes, that

9:27

was the that was the episode Dan

9:31

Justin Travis and Dane are back to

9:33

talk about the few blissful moments of

9:35

Sun our world received on this blessed

9:37

rotation Oh, yeah, man.

9:39

This is from an alternate universe.

9:41

It was just Travis

9:44

is the youngest brother and We

9:50

used to be way funnier than we are now Uncle

9:54

Dane cool, man Instead

10:01

of the eclipse that- this is on our Wikipedia

10:03

page, so thank you to whoever writes this. Instead

10:06

of the eclipse that occurred on this date in

10:08

the real world, in this AU, the sun shone

10:10

on this earth for one day out of every 100

10:12

years. Uncle

10:15

Dane was locked in the closet all day by- Oh,

10:19

children! Yeah, yeah, man. You

10:21

got Brad buried real hard. Seven

10:24

years is the statute of limitations where you can

10:26

laugh at your own jokes as if they're fresh

10:28

and new. Yeah, we're all new skin cells

10:30

at this point. I have no

10:32

fucking idea- yeah, there is not

10:34

one iota of this group that

10:36

was that group. Everyone has translucent

10:38

skin, tentacles, and 18-inch eyes. There

10:41

is no light, and therefore no

10:43

agriculture. Everyone eats rocks. The prince

10:45

is the United States. The United

10:47

States is sliders actor Jerry O'Connell,

10:49

and the United States is split

10:51

into eight separate countries. The device

10:53

most analogous to a

10:55

computer is called a combox, and it's

10:57

up to a monitor analog called a

10:59

Vision Cube or Psych Cube,

11:02

which becomes painfully hot. The

11:05

national smartest competitive Yu-Gi-Oh!

11:08

This is unhinged. I can't believe all of

11:10

those things happened in one episode. I had

11:12

to read all that because you guys had

11:14

no memory of it. I know, I know.

11:17

It's completely new to you. Yeah,

11:19

cool. Oh, man. I mean,

11:21

we make a lot of shit, Juice. A lot of shit. Did

11:25

you find the cover yet? The cover is

11:27

terrible. No. Everyone

11:30

hated the cover. That's the one thing I

11:32

do remember, is that the cover was broadly

11:34

despised. Yeah, actually, when I googled

11:36

this, the top result is a Reddit post from

11:38

three days ago saying, why didn't they do that

11:41

again? The answer is because we forgot completely in

11:43

the comments. That would have been a hell of

11:45

a thing to return to, but since none of

11:47

us remembered it, probably none of you remembered

11:49

it either. It would have been quite a thing. So,

11:52

my advice, don't dwell on the past. Don't

11:54

dwell on the past. And

11:57

I got more advice, too. Well, but

11:59

first, I have... I have my god,

12:01

um, it feels good to

12:04

see the world gay and

12:06

mr. World wide in the

12:08

book in

12:11

mr. World get the world gets

12:13

in the world does this thing

12:15

driven where when he is singing

12:18

he somehow also interrupts himself to

12:20

announce his title cool either mr.

12:22

305 mr. World wide with a

12:25

reel to reel you gotta

12:27

have two reels go on and you record one

12:29

reel then you get back yeah

12:31

we're here so we're not talking about that we're

12:33

talking about the whole pit we're in the below

12:36

a pit now you guys have both numerous

12:38

times you know I told me that you

12:40

consider yourself to both be experts in the

12:42

lyrics of pitbull correct fucking anything about right

12:44

now I've heard you driven you sometimes go

12:47

on and on about how you know every

12:49

people here come to talk I don't know

12:51

this fuck I don't know this fucking guy

12:53

we are here to test it here's

12:55

what's gonna happen I'm gonna put a minute on the clock

12:58

you're each gonna get a turn and

13:00

you're gonna have to fill in the blank of these

13:02

lyrics and here's the rule you can't pass you

13:05

cannot pass why you have to

13:07

guess why can't I pass why

13:10

can't I pass because I think

13:12

you legally can't because I only hope five

13:14

for each of you and if you pass

13:16

will be done before the 60 seconds is

13:18

up if I'm just saying you can't come

13:20

to my house and make me make jokes

13:23

like I can pass on anything in this

13:25

show ever whenever I want to I guys

13:27

say do anything about it one thing first

13:29

is that if I got paid attention to

13:31

Travis the V can't plunge that deep my

13:33

man oh I gotta get one up I

13:36

get it I got a cover of the field seeing

13:38

too much your chest power oh man all right

13:41

I don't the buttons not even broke it in

13:44

the buttonhole still tight as new oh what tight

13:46

is tight as new man I gotta

13:49

get there we go horrible

13:52

tight is new okay who wants to

13:54

go first flip a coin Griffin does

13:56

yeah man okay I am

13:59

dying for me Griffin one together.

14:01

Yeah. Now Griffin, your final start

14:03

when I finish the first

14:05

lyric. Okay, you ready? Time. Yeah, you have to

14:07

make the jokes. So I have to make the

14:09

jokes extra fast. 60 seconds on the clock.

14:11

You're ready. Yeah. Okay, here we go.

14:14

What I'm involved with is deeper than the blank. Money.

14:17

Masons. The bigger they are, the

14:19

harder they fall. This biggity boy is a... Basketball.

14:26

Diggity dog. Ask for money and get

14:28

advice. Huh? Ask for advice. Get... Laid.

14:34

Money twice. Just as

14:36

you ate me, don't hate me. As a

14:38

matter of fact, you should thank me. Even

14:40

if you don't, you're welcome, blank. Um,

14:45

you're welcome, little baby. Yankees. I

14:48

told her, want to ride out, and she

14:50

said yes. We didn't go to blank, but

14:52

I got blank. We

14:54

didn't go to bed. We didn't go

14:57

to... We didn't go to Hawaii, but

15:01

I got laid. Didn't go to church, but

15:03

I got blessed. So that was zero for

15:05

five from Griffin. Really good, Griffin. What did

15:07

you fucking ex... What did you fucking expect, man? I

15:10

thought you might get one. Really

15:12

good, Griffin. Really good try. Thank you. Okay, Justin,

15:14

you're up. Are you ready? Justin, you feel warmed

15:16

up? You feel ready to go? Yeah, I feel

15:18

like I know all these. Okay. Now,

15:20

give me that sweet, that nasty,

15:22

that blank. That candy

15:25

bag. Gucci stuff. Not

15:27

a goon or a god, I'm a blank.

15:31

True, blaster. Monster. Mommy

15:34

got an ass like a donkey with

15:37

a monkey look like blank. Charles.

15:43

King Kong. I'm gonna

15:45

make sure that your peach feels blank. Fuzzy

15:48

and warm. Peachy. Your man just

15:50

laughed, I'm the plumber tonight. I'll

15:52

check your pipes. Oh, use a

15:55

blank. Pins

15:57

is peach. Healthy type. Oh

16:00

god, Pit Bull! So just but also

16:03

0 for 5. Pit

16:05

Bull! I feel like I would get the next

16:07

5 right though. Now that you're in the flow

16:09

state. Now that we know the pattern, yeah for

16:11

sure. Now that you're in the flow state. Yeah,

16:13

exactly. There's a playfulness to Pit that I didn't

16:16

appreciate. An abstract nature that I celebrate. Make

16:18

your peach feel peachy is pretty

16:21

fucking good stuff actually, Mr.

16:23

Bull. Uh, not a goon or a

16:25

god, I'm a monster. Is... I want

16:27

that on my tombstone. Not a goon. Not a god.

16:31

There's something about the lyrics that I've been

16:33

trying to decipher. Mommy got

16:35

an ass like a donkey with a monkey.

16:38

Look like King Kong. No, Travis,

16:41

we granted you this one game to talk about

16:43

Pit Bull. We can't explore the

16:45

game. It can't be a launching pad to

16:47

you pontificating about Pit Bull. I'm sorry. This

16:49

is, we told you, you need to

16:51

contain that energy. And it seems like this is a

16:54

good container for it. No, I will. I just wanted

16:56

to do one last thing here on the bullshit. Ask

16:59

for money and get advice. Ask for

17:01

advice, get money twice. It sounds

17:03

like it's straight out of Poor Richard's Home

17:05

and Accrediting. It makes me really happy. There's

17:08

a sage in it. I would take a second Poor

17:10

Richard's Home and Accrediting by Pit Bull. Yes.

17:14

Poor Pitchers. With Forward by

17:16

Khaled. That would be the dream.

17:19

We the best book. Um... I'm

17:25

going to a convention suit

17:27

for work in Columbus. And

17:29

the hotel my company is putting me up in has a

17:32

pool. Is it weird to

17:34

hit up the hot tub after a long day

17:36

on the trade show floor? What do I do

17:38

to run other convention goers or worse co-workers who

17:40

are staying in the same hotel? I

17:42

want to take advantage of the free amenities, but I don't know

17:45

what to do if hot tubbing turns into a networking session. That's

17:48

from corporate cutie

17:50

in a two-piece suit. You're talking

17:53

to three eighties. Three eighties

17:55

dude. Three eighties boys. You're talking to three eighties

17:57

boys. We came up in the eighties.

18:00

We're gonna I don't see what that has anything to

18:02

do with it. Oh, did you don't Griffin? You

18:04

don't see what 80s business culture might have

18:07

to do with hot. Okay. Okay. Okay We

18:10

were not boss babies. We were not involved.

18:12

We weren't you weren't you weren't you maybe

18:14

you were out here Justin asking for money

18:16

and getting advice. I was out here asking

18:19

for advice again money twice. Yeah So

18:21

these babies would have been the ones who

18:23

would have been in the work culture I

18:25

feel like during the 80s traffic, right? So

18:27

this is a flawed flawed concept. I was

18:29

networking at seven I don't know what you're

18:31

tired. That's how I got where I am

18:34

today. That's true. Always on a crime This

18:37

is such a great question

18:39

because we go to a

18:41

lot of hotels when we

18:43

don't want to brag tour We

18:45

go to we say how you think we're not

18:47

at home I don't want to brag but we

18:49

don't have homes in any city in every city

18:51

in the country and Vancouver And

18:55

So a lot of the time I'll

18:57

go especially if I'm like on tour

18:59

flying solo and I'll see a hot

19:02

tub or a pool But mostly a

19:04

hot tub and think like oh, I

19:06

never bring trunks like never bring trunks.

19:08

You never ever bring trunk What oh,

19:11

you don't bring trunks? Okay, I thought

19:13

you meant you don't bring trunks for the hot

19:15

tub You meant you don't drink the hot trunks

19:17

on the trip. Those don't drink hunks on the

19:19

trip I'm gonna have a

19:21

hot tub. You don't drink hunks in

19:23

the hot tub. That's rule number one

19:26

unless you've been extremely well compensated. I

19:29

feel Like I

19:31

want to that life, but I

19:34

also feel that I can't I'm not

19:36

there for the right reasons I'm here for

19:38

business I'm putting on a kick-ass show tonight

19:40

at the theater and then I to come

19:42

back and get in the hot tub makes

19:45

me feel like I am Trying

19:48

to pretend to be like I'm

19:50

in white snake or something and you are

19:52

not and Griffin is not this is not

19:54

an imagined Scenario because we try to get

19:56

hotels near the place where

19:58

we're doing the show so ostensibly there

20:00

will be other people in the hotel who

20:03

also have just participated in the

20:05

show. But maybe in a different

20:08

way than Griffin has. But they will

20:10

come in to see Griffin with his

20:13

hair hanging down in front of his

20:15

eyes. Just trying to sweat the show

20:17

out of his body. Just a towel

20:20

around my neck always. Yeah. Just

20:22

huffing in eucalyptus or whatever he needs

20:24

to get his instrument right. The

20:29

geometry that

20:31

English put on the power dynamics

20:34

ball by then a

20:36

hot tub is unthinkable. It's

20:38

un-navigable. You? Okay. Boys, I

20:40

hope you had a great

20:42

time. No fucking way, dude.

20:45

Boys, I love you very much. But once again,

20:47

I'm going to say maybe you guys are coming

20:49

at this from maybe a

20:52

more socially anxious direction. Absolutely.

20:55

Travis, I know no other

20:57

direction. Yes. Griffin is one direction if

20:59

one direction the band was incredibly socially

21:01

anxious. And that was kind of the

21:03

hook of their music because here's the

21:05

thing, boys, there's two different kinds of

21:07

networking if you suppose. Okay, okay. Yes.

21:10

There is a networking that happens when you're

21:12

at the event, right? The business networking. But

21:16

then you have the, I play golf with them

21:18

networking. Okay. You have the

21:20

like, let's get a big steak dinner network.

21:24

That kind of networking that's like, not only

21:26

is this person fun in

21:28

the board room, but maybe, I don't know, board game room. I

21:31

wanted to make a plan, but you get what I mean. They

21:34

want to hang out with you outside of that. You're

21:37

making the connections, man. Yeah. It's

21:40

a good time to get, if you're

21:43

with other peers, a hot

21:45

tub is a very vulnerable place to make a human connection.

21:47

You know what I mean? This

21:50

is the time on Survivor when you're all

21:52

enjoying a meal together. You don't have to

21:54

play the game. You can form

21:56

a real human bond. And that's why you

21:58

come in playing the game with all these

22:00

other children. Chuckleheads aren't playing the game, and

22:02

now you've got, you know how you win

22:04

at Monopoly? You're the only one playing. That's

22:06

right, solo Monopoly, while everyone watches you play

22:08

Monopoly. It's the coolest thing you can do.

22:11

It's when you're in the hot tub

22:13

with the CEO of LinkedIn, you. It's

22:16

just you and the CEO of LinkedIn,

22:18

and no tricks. Very good

22:20

try, I was like you. There's no tricks, there's

22:22

no weapons. It's just a two. Band

22:25

of man, band of man, all that. You're still alone,

22:27

you know? It's just the two of you, there's no

22:30

power dynamics. Either one of you can choke the other

22:32

one just as easily, so let's talk. Can we just

22:34

talk? You're not the boss, I'm not the

22:36

boss. That's what you say to you as you slide into

22:38

the hot tub. You say let's acknowledge that either one of

22:40

us can choke each other out just as easily, so let's

22:42

just talk. I think there

22:44

should be a sign up at every hotel hot tub.

22:46

That says the hours of like maybe

22:49

just 10 to 11 p.m. is

22:51

quiet, like no talking. No talking

22:53

in this hot tub. It's just

22:55

a place for tired people with sore

22:57

bones, tired from a day of, tired

23:00

from an hour of kick-ass alt-cobody.

23:02

You need to just soak their bones,

23:05

but not have any kind of, not

23:07

having time. You can't talk, I think

23:09

it's illegal if the person is contained

23:12

in some sort of vat with you.

23:14

If you are part of a meal,

23:17

a soup that's being prepared, can't

23:19

talk because I can't get out of

23:21

it. I'm a priest. There

23:24

is no way to easily remove yourself

23:26

from a hot tub that isn't very

23:28

clearly like, well, this person started talking,

23:31

so I left. Imagine if the person

23:33

across from you is like, well,

23:35

so tell me partner, how do you earn

23:37

your money? And I'm like, ugh! And

23:41

his lymph just fills out of the hot tub. Or

23:43

where he stands, it's one of those big ones where

23:46

there's only stairs on one side, and you start talking,

23:48

and they're just like trudging through the hot tub slump

23:50

to walk up the stairs. And it's definitely gonna be

23:52

like a half flop. And

23:54

a roll out. Yeah, because I tried

23:56

to get some of the water off because I forgot my towel,

23:58

so just roll out. on

24:00

the ground to try to get the

24:03

moisture off like so uh marketing? The

24:07

ideal for me is doing

24:09

this in a Japanese style because

24:11

in Japan I did do a couple

24:14

hot springs there's a trade-off there in

24:16

that it is usually completely quiet

24:19

especially if there is a sort

24:21

of language barrier situation is extremely

24:23

quiet but also your wiener

24:26

is out extremely quiet extremely

24:29

nude extremely quiet extremely nude

24:32

but extremely quiet which would be a

24:34

weird way to advertise like a

24:36

dance club like an exotic dance

24:38

place we're like yeah their nude

24:40

is hell and completely silent in

24:42

here there's no music no coughing

24:44

nothing totally chill totally nude dude

24:46

sneezed in here last week and

24:48

it wrecked the whole vibe of

24:50

this nude erotic establishment here's okay

24:52

question ask her here's a little

24:54

tip you can you

24:57

can look really good in this scenario you

25:00

need a third party there to be

25:02

overly chavvie overly talkative trying

25:05

too hard and then you

25:07

make some kind of like eye contact

25:09

with the boss of linkedin and you

25:11

do like a oh this guy kind

25:14

of look at him that's all you

25:16

got to do and now the ceo

25:18

of linkedin is like right yeah working

25:21

too hard over here in in

25:23

the in the hopes of making this more

25:26

universal i should also mention that we are

25:28

of course answering this

25:30

question from this perspective of three

25:32

white cisgender men good boy yeah

25:35

and i would say that

25:37

i never get into a hot

25:40

tub if someone's already

25:42

in it yeah because they're

25:44

gonna see me a dude and

25:46

they're gonna think uh oh yeah fucking god

25:48

it's not gonna have anything yeah yeah for

25:51

sure especially if they're if there are people

25:53

in the hot tub who are clearly in

25:55

there they know each other already and they're

25:57

the only ones in the hot tub The

26:00

idea of me being like, and now

26:02

here's that third heat. Do you guys

26:04

like to play? You

26:09

guys checked out that 1.6 update or what? Where

26:12

are you going? Come back.

26:14

Let's talk about crypto. You

26:18

talk about you talk about it. I hate

26:20

to button, but I,

26:22

my blockchain brethren, rather

26:26

in exciting. Dook it up. No,

26:28

you're fine. You're fine. Dook it out. Can

26:33

I, can I

26:35

ask you guys a question? When

26:38

you picture the CEO of

26:41

LinkedIn in your head, does

26:43

he have like cables

26:46

for hair and like cyberpunk, like

26:48

sunglass implants on his eyes that

26:50

slide in and like

26:52

a duster, like

26:55

a sawed off shotgun and his

26:57

like deck, like like that's what

26:59

I envision. Okay. Like you have

27:01

like a cyberpunk post-apocalyptic. A real

27:03

street samurai. When I mentioned that

27:05

he's the CEO of

27:07

LinkedIn. He's the nexus through which all

27:10

that shit. Way because

27:12

I did say Abraham LinkedIn to myself. So

27:15

then I did big Abraham Lincoln, but I

27:18

picture it in like one of the pre-cog vats

27:20

from minority reports. I was about to say that's

27:22

the other option. He's floating in goo and LinkedIn

27:25

LinkedIn to everything. Yeah. Like just cables

27:27

running off in the goo. The goo

27:29

is translating stock. So that way at

27:31

any given time, you could be like

27:33

Abraham Abraham. I mean somebody to

27:36

fill in for, and he's

27:39

like, God Perkins, the resume.

27:41

Get him. How about

27:43

I just had a good idea. What

27:46

if the next wave of

27:48

like CEO

27:50

peacocking is

27:52

granting yourself like superhuman abilities,

27:55

but you can only do

27:57

biohacking, but you can only. do

28:00

it with those resources within

28:02

your company. Oh, your specific

28:04

super. That is so fucking

28:06

cool. Our your super abilities

28:08

are linked to whatever. So

28:10

the CEO of LinkedIn has

28:13

access to like he knows your entire

28:15

history. He can tell like everybody, anybody

28:17

he sees, he can tell who

28:19

they work for. You know what I mean?

28:21

Yeah, it's just a hug. So they have

28:23

it. It's like, oh, juggling, huh? Right. Like

28:25

that would be incredible. But no, I think

28:28

Justin suggesting your cyber persona is

28:31

aesthetically at the very least influenced

28:33

by the business that you conduct.

28:35

For example, Aesthetically and the powers

28:37

of Yes, the CEO

28:39

of some pharmaceutical company would be like

28:42

a David Hyde Pierce in the osmosis

28:44

Jones. Yes, emitting different medicines from their

28:46

It's a big pill of armored skin

28:49

shoots. And the CEO of Ford can

28:51

transform into a truck if he needs

28:53

to. That's really cool. I love that.

28:56

That doesn't make that. Okay, Trev. No,

28:58

it doesn't make sense. I'm opening notes.

29:00

Yeah, go on. It has to be a height. He

29:03

could just make cars extremely well out

29:05

of anything. You know what I mean?

29:07

Like for fun limitation that you've just suddenly put

29:09

on this wonderful world. You're hard. What that's how

29:11

to turn people into cars. So he would just

29:14

do do what he can turn into. Maybe it

29:16

was a truck first. He turned into a man.

29:19

Yeah, you're not. That's who I would want

29:21

to lead my car business. It's like somebody

29:23

who used to be a truck. Knows what

29:25

cars want. The abilities have

29:27

to be mundane. So the CEO of Ford

29:29

is just he becomes the best

29:31

at making cars out of anything. Like

29:33

he's getting cars out of whatever. Now

29:35

Justin, let me throw this out as

29:37

an idea. Individual hot

29:39

tubs. Single person

29:42

hot tubs. It's like a two foot

29:44

circle and it's four feet deep. I'm

29:47

getting rich this week. I know, right? He

29:49

Just stand in it. Right, you guys. There's

29:51

enough room to sit and maybe you can

29:54

put them in a beehive kind of thing.

29:56

Or Maybe they're just spread out around the

29:58

pool with enough room in between. The know

30:00

a good talk to each other. There's.

30:03

I'm can't stop thinking about the

30:05

animate of distance. Super easy as

30:07

I can hang about. I can't

30:09

stop thinking about it. I. Can't

30:12

stop thinking about Ai! We love your field

30:14

of I do love that you walk onto

30:16

the first floor and you look by the

30:18

pool of the hotel and you just see

30:20

a row of heads on the around as

30:23

people have submerged into their own private hot

30:25

tub like Popsicle Mall. Guess. It's

30:27

all grace stuff so great that they can be

30:29

in the same where we don't have the. Limit

30:32

ourselves. we get my dad receive

30:34

as an individual hotez another recharge

30:36

in their individual hot as arrogant

30:38

man senses. Yes thing yet. Network:

30:40

These people can network thirty powerful

30:42

their Konecny Avenue A network right

30:44

way network is accessible. Network yeah,

30:46

state. Listen, I think that was

30:48

maybe the least helpful and we

30:50

certainly standards every so often of

30:53

least how boy answer we've ever

30:55

given some one just draw a

30:57

nice bath. I've done that before.

30:59

Go to a hotel. The hot

31:01

tub. Think about those power dynamics though.

31:03

And and to draw a nice hot bath?

31:05

Yeah, flip on into that. In said, it's

31:08

for you. It's nude and quiet. what

31:10

more could you ask for? Plus you can

31:12

watch cool videos on your I phone

31:14

while you do it. No problem, no problem

31:16

as you have a. A need

31:18

a physical mean just in time. Imagine

31:21

you're right, they no problem. No.

31:23

Problem. You. Can sit in a

31:25

hot tub man since it is odd

31:27

jobs but I eat other side of

31:29

the hot tub like a sense of

31:31

your refined he will be that's why

31:34

I yourself up to the side. that's

31:36

why the baggies are there folks a

31:38

nice and let's take a break and

31:40

go. The mine was over. I.

31:53

Only have bombed a some of it and I don't

31:56

like to bat an eye to eye to preserve our

31:58

technology right? And. So

32:00

all my other clothes I sort of stitch

32:02

together out of bombers Sox linked saddam my

32:05

it's. Yeah, it's It's nice.

32:07

It's great. It feels good and

32:09

I haven't known this. The touch

32:11

of moisture in. So

32:13

long as it just gets with the

32:16

way. Like. Most years afraid of

32:18

me like that undermine the i take a

32:20

drink. your clothes are pulling the boisterous away

32:22

from your mouth. Is now like

32:24

my mouse still has plenty wow that the

32:26

rest of me but but the bomba zoc

32:29

sort of wink wink away on a i'll

32:31

tell you the of really delightful day for

32:33

me was when I get rid of all

32:35

of my old kind of fucked up sox

32:38

to make room for these beautiful mambas. Yes

32:40

I read. It is a really

32:42

nice day and it's you know spring

32:44

cleaning time make that difference in your

32:46

life with these comfortable last og that's

32:49

are. They. Have The! It's not just

32:51

that they are that they get the moisture

32:53

away. What are they have? They have arch

32:55

support one the salt. They have honeycomb arch

32:57

support. Whoa! Ah They have anti blister tabs

32:59

and christened flip beds that feel like little

33:01

pills. I'm not a okay as so that

33:04

he said that my the parents are for

33:06

wearing have Pro Blizzard tabs. Out

33:08

crowds and I guy so it's I knew

33:10

that when I bought I would say or

33:12

am I don't know why I finish got

33:14

a good as off your feet. They also

33:16

have the one purchased one donated mission where

33:19

every time you buy sox are they also

33:21

teas are underwear which honestly as are probably

33:23

just go for those instead of cutting approximate.

33:26

T shirts and underwear but whenever you buy

33:28

one you'd also donate us into close to

33:30

someone facing homelessness they have while earning earning

33:32

of romsey hundred million clothing as army how

33:34

that the the lot of comments from bombers

33:36

over the years at all really other Molson

33:38

ah yeah it's a genuinely is great I

33:41

i I love my my bumper soccer's one

33:43

those things were like once I'd figured it

33:45

out like this is oh these are my

33:47

socks now and then That part of my

33:49

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33:51

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36:15

Webby season. Hi, I'm Sequoia Holmes,

36:17

host of the Black People Love

36:19

Paramore podcast, and we are

36:21

nominated for a Webby for the episode

36:23

where I interviewed Haley Williams. In

36:25

case you're unfamiliar, Black People Love Paramore

36:28

is a podcast delving into the common

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and uncommon interests of Black people in

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36:37

this Webby. Please take a second and go

36:39

over to the Black People Love Paramore podcast

36:41

social media accounts and you can find

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them at BPLBpod across all social media

36:45

platforms. Hit the link in bio and

36:48

vote for Black People Love Paramore. Hi,

36:56

I'm Travis McElroy and I'm Teresa McElroy

36:58

and we're the host of Shmanners. We

37:01

don't believe that etiquette should be used to

37:03

judge other people. No, on

37:05

Shmanners, we see etiquette as a

37:07

way to navigate social situations with

37:09

confidence. So if that sounds like

37:11

something you're into, join us every Friday

37:13

on Maximum Fun or wherever you get

37:16

your podcast. I

37:22

want a Munch Squad! I

37:33

want a Munch Squad! You

37:37

look really worried, Justin. Welcome

37:41

to Munch Squad. The podcast is in a podcast.

37:43

Profiling the latest, the greatest in brand eating. I

37:45

felt like I was rushing your guys' tempo. Oh,

37:48

see, I thought that we were behind. I thought

37:50

we were dragging. Yeah. Okay,

37:52

maybe it's a lag. Do we want to practice it?

37:55

Okay. Dun, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na,

37:57

na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na,

37:59

na, na, na, na, Yeah Yeah,

38:02

no, it's the lag. Yeah, maybe we should

38:04

keep we should go out a couple more

38:06

times We should do a remake

38:08

of whiplash over discord. Yeah, that

38:10

wasn't my my start. No you go hurry. You

38:13

know, I wasn't my Slap

38:18

yourself I Think

38:23

a zimmer like that Slap

38:25

yourself. Was that jk Simmons

38:28

in the room? Yeah, please please. Thank

38:31

you Go right ahead. That's

38:33

me. Jk Simba. Yeah, see now go

38:35

right ahead with your munch squad. Okay,

38:37

okay Okay,

38:41

okay Arby's is

38:43

turning skeptics into fans with

38:45

free sandwich month this April,

38:47

huh? This

38:51

story was released on April 2nd because Arby's

38:55

wants, you know, they're not fucking no. No, this

38:57

story is gonna sound like it I

38:59

also think it's wild to have a

39:02

thing that's happening in April and

39:04

not announce it till we're in

39:07

April it's important trap because

39:09

this is a this is a big program.

39:11

No, this is what I think why not

39:14

announce it then in March I Guess

39:17

yeah, but then they would have thought that if it

39:19

started on April 1st that it might be a joke

39:22

This April Arby's has an offer too

39:25

good to resist for both die-hard fans

39:27

and skeptics and everyone in between Are

39:30

there a lot of Arby's? I

39:33

don't believe Arby's Griffin

39:35

can I may I please yeah Whether

39:38

guests are longtime supporters or roast

39:40

beef doubters Arby's is aiming

39:42

to end the huh? Who

39:44

actually eats at Arby's debate

39:47

with a new month long

39:49

offer free sandwich month? Why

39:52

Arby's wrote in a fucking

39:54

press release? Arby's is

39:56

aiming to end the who actually

39:58

eats at Arby's Yeah, you

40:01

don't see a lot of press releases

40:03

now do a lot of people think

40:05

our shit tastes like dirty dog shit

40:07

Yes, yeah, but it

40:09

doesn't it doesn't though And

40:12

I know that we seem like we're

40:14

going bankrupt and like no one even

40:16

eats here, but guys some people do

40:20

they it's We

40:23

have the mean way we promise we really

40:25

have the meat so much they're giving the

40:28

meats away Too many me please take them

40:30

please believe us. It's good be please we

40:32

have a lot of them in there good

40:34

meats We tried our best you guys like

40:37

me We make the sandwiches

40:39

as big as your frail human arms can

40:41

hold if we made them any bigger if

40:43

you guys were fucking Stronger we could give

40:45

you even more meat I would

40:47

say that more than any fast food

40:49

company I could think of our bees

40:52

has tried the hardest to be like

40:54

is this what you want We're

40:56

trying we nobody else is

40:58

doing or a few sandwiches. We don't

41:00

have any competition left Is

41:02

this what you want with four

41:05

free online sandwich? Redemptions throughout April

41:07

free sandwich month gives our bees

41:09

lovers the perfect chance to enjoy

41:11

their go-to order or Further

41:13

explore the menu while also providing

41:16

our bee skeptics with an opportunity

41:18

to put their our bees beef

41:21

To write it once and for all So

41:24

throughout April you're gonna get four coupons now

41:28

And then you get a free sandwich

41:30

deal loaded into your Arby's rewards account

41:32

So this is this is for our

41:34

bees skeptics who are also like yeah,

41:36

I'll sign up for your rewards program

41:40

I think your sandwiches are fucking

41:42

disgusting, but I would love your

41:44

newsletter I am trying to

41:46

earn enough points for that free koozie. Yeah

41:48

with this deal Arby's is doubling

41:50

down on its sandwiches Yeah,

41:53

I think fans. Yeah, it's either that

41:55

or the Jamoka What

41:58

are you? The

42:00

chickens are the best. Horsey

42:02

sauce with this deal, Arby's is

42:04

doubling down sandwiches. And what better

42:06

time for Arby's skeptics to give

42:08

the brand another shot than

42:11

when they could try it for free

42:13

not once but four times. So okay,

42:16

that's a lot of free Arby's. Arby's,

42:18

I understand that promising

42:20

more sandwiches is more

42:23

enticing. Yeah, but saying we're

42:25

going to change your mind and

42:27

maybe the first sandwich won't do it and

42:30

maybe the second sandwich won't do it and

42:32

maybe the third one and you won't like

42:35

that one either. But give it a fourth

42:37

chance and maybe by the fourth sandwich, I

42:40

don't know you'll acclimate to it. The

42:42

number of

42:44

fundamental structural changes

42:47

to the whole Arby's model

42:50

system, everything that would need

42:52

to change in order for

42:54

me to become a returning

42:58

customer of that business. It's

43:01

so vast. The thing would be

43:03

unrecognizable by the time I was

43:05

done with it. The

43:08

curly fries can stay those

43:10

fuck, absolutely. I

43:12

need the sandwiches smaller and

43:14

more interesting. Can I tell

43:16

you, Griffin, you both of

43:18

you, but more you, are so

43:21

high up on your fucking throat

43:23

over there. No. Over

43:25

in Biden's backyard where all

43:28

the cuisine of the world gathers

43:30

at your feet and gives their

43:32

greatest to you. Arby's is mid

43:34

here. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Arby's

43:37

is mid. By the way,

43:39

this week, Charlie told me that she wanted me

43:41

to buy cans. Water. Liquid

43:44

depth. I said why, honey? She said tap

43:46

water is mid. Man,

43:54

the next – Jen Alpha can

43:56

do no wrong, man. And

43:58

I – Tap water is mid.

44:00

It's mid, I mean I can't. Yeah

44:02

man, it's freezing. Hey, it's the most,

44:04

yeah, dog water baby, it's dog water.

44:06

It ain't poison and it ain't Baja

44:08

Blast, it's mid. It is man. And

44:11

where you are in the country, it

44:13

can also be toxic. Lower than

44:15

mid. Low to

44:17

mid at best, yeah. And I- Low

44:20

to mid at best. What I never expected, when I woke up this

44:22

morning, what I did not

44:24

expect is by, in some point in the day,

44:26

to feel four RBS. Yeah.

44:30

The notion that I would label sympathy.

44:32

Yeah. And here is why. We've

44:35

been privy to a lot of

44:37

press releases on Month Squad, a podcast within

44:39

a podcast, that are usually like, check us

44:41

the fuck out. Our food

44:43

artistry has unveiled a

44:45

new level of fry technology. The boys

44:48

in the lab are at it again.

44:50

Yeah. Meanwhile, Arby's is

44:52

over here going, please,

44:54

please just come in. Just

44:56

come in. Just give us a shot. Just

44:59

try, if you would just, we're giving you

45:01

the sandwich. For you to do.

45:04

Oh, you have to do, you eat them, please. This

45:09

isn't like a free sample at Sam's

45:11

Club, right? Because what this business trucks

45:13

in is sandwiches. This would be as

45:15

though you went to Sam's Club and

45:17

they were like, if

45:19

you will let us give you four microwaves. Yeah.

45:22

And then at the end of that, you decide how you feel

45:24

about Arby. Yeah. Then we can reveal. Please.

45:28

That's the tragic thing for Arby's here. There's going to be

45:30

a lot of people who eat four free Arby's sandwiches. And

45:32

at the end of that are like, yeah,

45:34

I don't like how they make me feel. I

45:36

don't like how I feel after. I

45:39

wanna give, this is a quote that

45:41

I wanna give it due respect. It's

45:43

from Ellen Rose, who's Arby's chief marketing

45:45

officer. Now, what I like

45:47

about Ellen Rose that I can say

45:49

pretty certainly, I don't know Ellen personally,

45:52

is that Ellen, I'm

45:55

guessing at some point had to stand up in

45:57

the meeting and say, all right, y'all listen.

46:01

I think it's time. We've

46:03

been putting it off for a bit. I

46:05

think it's time for us to publicly admit

46:07

that not a lot of people like our

46:09

sandwiches. In fact, there's some people that actively

46:11

dislike them who haven't even tried them, and

46:14

it's time to address it. In

46:16

fact, I would go so far as

46:18

to say there are people who believe

46:20

no one actively eats here. Yeah. So

46:23

we're going to try to disprove that. During free

46:25

sandwich month, we're putting our money where

46:27

our mouth is with our biggest rewards promotion

46:29

to date. Actually, you're putting

46:31

no money where the beef is. That's what you're

46:33

doing. We're actually putting

46:35

money – we're taking money

46:38

from where your mouth is. You're

46:40

putting beef in the mouth and nothing's coming

46:42

out. This executive should

46:44

have to go cow to

46:48

cow and tell them, hey,

46:50

so you're not going to

46:52

like this next part, but also

46:55

we're going to just give this stuff away, and people are going

46:57

to talk about how yucky it is. Anyway,

47:00

head on in there. Arby sandwiches

47:02

are so delicious, which you think

47:04

every cow thinks, I hope I'm not an Arby one.

47:08

We would just like – free sandwich month

47:10

is the perfect opportunity for any skeptics out

47:12

there to try the sandwiches they've been eyeing.

47:15

We're so confident that our sandwiches

47:17

will turn even the biggest Arby's disbeliever

47:20

into a fan that we're willing to

47:22

give them four free trials throughout

47:25

the month of April. Guys,

47:27

it gets worse. To prove that

47:30

free sandwich month is changing minds,

47:32

Arby's is also putting four skeptics

47:34

to the test with the Arby's

47:36

Tri-Detector, where each participant will be

47:39

strapped into biometric scales as they

47:41

try free Arby's sandwiches to see

47:43

how they truly – Now we're

47:45

keep fucking talking. Arby's social accounts

47:48

to watch this experiment unfold. Yes,

47:51

absolutely. Peel

47:54

back my liberty, mama,

47:56

and see me, Arby. I

47:59

will hide – I have no seekers from you mama

48:01

when you put me in this tridetector.

48:03

What? What?

48:05

What biometric is there in my body that tracks

48:08

how much I like Arby? Travis,

48:10

it's called what is... I

48:12

want it surgically removed! That

48:14

metric... My head system disconnected! That

48:17

metric Travis is called your blood

48:19

pressure. That's what it's called. I

48:22

can look at that and be like, Yum factor is spiking. We

48:27

need to put him on special medicine. Arby's

48:29

Yum factor is through the roof.

48:31

It's too delicious. So

48:33

that's what Arby's is doing. They're giving... They're

48:38

giving people for free Arby's just to

48:40

try to make them say, you know

48:42

what it is? I want to put

48:44

forth this. It's

48:47

not that you're an Arby's skeptic. It's

48:49

that you currently have a highfalutin opinion of

48:52

yourself as a human being and you don't

48:54

see yourself as a person who goes to

48:56

Arby's. Arby's is not

48:58

changing your opinion of them. Arby's is changing

49:00

your opinion of yourself. You eat four Arby's

49:02

sandwiches in a month. You get to the

49:04

end of that month and you're like, well

49:07

fuck, I guess I'm the kind of person

49:09

that eats an Arby's. Yeah, it's been institutionalized

49:11

at that point. I think it's been internalized.

49:13

So when I picture myself, I now picture

49:15

myself inside an Arby's. Do you

49:17

think that Arby's executives somewhere in the world just stopped

49:19

the tape and they're like, they got it? I

49:23

want Arby's to know it's not the

49:25

quality of the food. Like when I

49:28

get, I've gotten Arby's maybe a couple times

49:30

in the last few years on a road

49:32

trip usually. And

49:34

it's not the flavor of the food. Again,

49:36

your curly fries- To the Bible Belt or

49:38

Middle America away from your coastal palace. Yes,

49:41

exactly. The curly fries fuck. It's called White

49:43

Castle, Justin. It's called Coastal Palace. The

49:47

beef tastes like pretty good and you guys

49:49

do a pretty good job with it. You have the beef. After

49:52

I eat it, I feel so bad. I

49:56

have a friend that I know is going to sound like one of those things where

49:58

I talk about it was a friend, but it was really good. really meet

50:00

it but it was really a friend. One time

50:02

got an Arby's meal that came with two roast

50:04

beef sandwiches and he ate them and then he

50:06

had to go to the hospital. It's not that

50:08

you guys make food that tastes bad or isn't

50:10

appealing to me. I love it to eat a

50:12

lot of beef. It's the problem is

50:15

that then I'm worried I might have to

50:17

go to the hospital afterwards because of it. Then

50:19

Arby's if you're listening. It's

50:21

not just you. I'm 40 years

50:23

old now. There's a lot of it.

50:25

I'm 40 years old now. The idea

50:27

of putting fast food into my human

50:30

body is the equivalent of when I

50:32

was in my early 20s and had

50:34

a wild night out with friends. Where

50:36

it's like, fuck tomorrow. That's how it

50:38

is when it's like fast food for

50:40

dinner. Fuck tomorrow, YOLO. I'm eating this

50:42

tonight. It's hard sometimes when we're getting

50:45

happy meals for the guys. For

50:47

the boys. I'm going to get that and I'm

50:49

like, hey, as long as we're getting some

50:52

Mickey D's, let me hit that

50:54

up too. The clown has nothing

50:56

for me that will... The Grimace Shake

50:58

was a documentary fake adult offer. Exactly. You

51:01

have things like, oh, for me, just the

51:03

salad. Just the wrap, please. Give

51:06

me the Shake Up Salad or whatever it was

51:08

called. This is salad in a cup, please, Ronald.

51:10

Thank you. They have nothing for me. That's not...

51:12

I have shit to do tomorrow. I absolutely can't

51:15

be... Including shit. I can't be

51:17

damned up like that by

51:20

any of you guys. I want to make sure that

51:22

we get credit for something. Okay.

51:25

Barbies is one of the few

51:27

companies that we have in our

51:29

careers actually had

51:31

meetings with brand deal meetings in terms

51:33

of lucrative sponsorship offers. That is true.

51:36

Another thing that happened so long ago,

51:38

I forgot about it. One of the

51:40

very few companies that has ever expressed

51:42

such an interest. We are

51:44

the kind of podcast

51:47

that has the gall, has

51:49

the courage to save

51:51

their foods maybe poisonous here in our

51:53

camp show. Not poisonous, detrimental. I want

51:56

to make sure mental health. I just

51:58

want to get... I want to

52:00

get credit for how punk rock we are

52:02

that we are willing to take this potential

52:05

lucrative opportunity that we have many years

52:07

ago and just tear it

52:09

all down. If you are still interested

52:12

in working with us after this though,

52:14

we are still open to it. Hey,

52:16

I can find three no more skeptical

52:18

gentlemen than us three skeptics. Don't walk,

52:21

yeah. Hook me up to the Liberty

52:23

Peeler. And big beefer. Beef

52:25

me up to your machine and beef me down to

52:28

Beevie Town. Put

52:33

a cage on my head in the Ministry

52:36

of Truth and beef me hard. We've

52:38

always been at war with Wendy. Yeah. We

52:42

fucking hate Wendy. Like, you know that

52:44

about us. That's not true actually. No,

52:46

that's not true. I mean, the Junior Bacon Cheeseburger is

52:48

the best. It's the best out there. It's

52:52

the one thing I can eat at a fascinating

52:54

restaurant because it has lettuce and tomato right on

52:56

there and it's crazy. And I'm like, this feels

52:58

good. The size sandwich, the amount

53:00

of fake veggies on there, feel good. The

53:03

Junior for me please. Yes, please. Hey, let's

53:05

wrap it up. Let's

53:07

wrap it up. These sandwiches, wrap them up.

53:10

Hey, we got some new tour dates coming up. First

53:12

of all, we got our Chicago dates at the

53:14

end of this month. We're going to be in

53:16

Chicago doing Mabam and Taz. Taz is going to

53:18

be Taz versus Moby Jig. Shite Town. That's

53:22

happening just before C2E2 up there at the end of the month.

53:24

Windy City. There

53:26

are still some tickets available for the Taz show, but

53:29

not Mabam. The mall, Apple. I don't

53:31

think we call it that here

53:33

in Chicago. No? In

53:36

May, we're coming to Vancouver. Dave

53:38

Matthews bathroom. What? Dave

53:41

Matthews bathroom. They

53:43

don't call Chicago Dave Matthews bathroom. Yeah, it's where

53:45

they dump. Where they dump. First of

53:47

all, Dave Matthews wasn't the only – this is

53:49

what Mabam did. This is what pisses me off.

53:51

Okay. Just because he had pins on the fucking

53:53

bus doesn't mean that he made all the poop

53:56

that got dumped on that boat and

53:58

that he pulled the trigger. I

54:01

imagine Dave Matthews has the kind of diet where

54:03

he makes three square pellets a day. Exactly.

54:06

That day, I think he

54:09

eats enough. Yeah. Just

54:11

to say he eats only

54:13

what he needs and leaves only footprints.

54:15

You know what I mean? He shants

54:17

completely... He has a dookie from his

54:19

butt. He shants 100%...

54:23

Smooth. ...biodegradable diesel fuel

54:25

that the bus runs on. So

54:28

you guys should be embarrassed. Have

54:31

you had Dreaming Free Wine? Spoilers! Spoilers.

54:34

Another sponsor.

54:36

Vancouver to come, we're coming to you in

54:38

May. Kansas City, St. Louis,

54:40

Tysons, Virginia. We're coming to you in June. It's

54:43

still going to be a hell of a time. Go

54:45

to bit.ly slash Macroy Tours for tickets and more

54:47

information. Tickets are on sale right

54:49

now. So let it rip. If

54:51

you haven't checked it out yet, make sure to go to macroymurch.com.

54:53

Check out all the merch we got there. We got a Taz

54:55

versus Dracula poster by Zach Sterling. We've

54:58

got a Rest in Peace, Miggie the Mackerel sticker. There

55:00

is a Garol of Bina Corn

55:02

and Tyler Thrasher stuffy bundle you'll

55:04

find over there. That has

55:07

a stuffed Garol as well as Tyler Schrodinger's

55:09

Cat blind box. And

55:11

10% of all proceeds this month go

55:13

to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund. Thank

55:16

you to Montaigne for the Use of Our Theme song, My Life

55:18

is Better With You. Great track. Great

55:21

track. You can put on at the gym when

55:23

you're cranking iron. It

55:26

makes you stronger to hear it. That's true. One

55:29

to five percent. Exactly.

55:32

This is a wild wish, man. Are

55:36

you going to do it? I'll do it. Go,

55:38

go, go, go, go. I

55:42

wish my bird would stop biting

55:44

my nipples. My

55:46

name is Justin. I have an acrobat. I'm Griffin

55:48

Ackelreit. This has been My Brother, My Brother, and may it

55:50

kiss you, Dad. We're out of the whip. It's

56:03

time for you to

56:05

do something. It's

56:08

time for you to do something.

56:13

It's time for you to do something.

56:19

It's time for

56:22

you to

56:25

do something. Maximum Fun A

56:27

work-around network of artist-owned shows supported

56:30

directly by you.