0:04

Welcome to the More Than Anxiety Podcast

0:06

. I'm Megan Devito and I help ambitious

0:08

women break out of the anxiety cycle

0:10

that keeps them frustrated and stuck . Get

0:12

ready for a lighthearted approach that will change

0:14

what you think , how you feel

0:16

and what you believe about yourself . This

0:19

podcast is full of simple steps , a

0:21

lot of truth , talk and inspiration

0:23

to take actio so you walk away feeling confident , calm

0:25

and

0:27

ready to live . Let's get to it . Hey

0:30

there , welcome to episode 89

0:32

of the More Than Anxiety podcast . My name's

0:34

Megan , I'm a life coach and I help ambitious women

0:37

stop overthinking , calm the anxiety

0:39

in their bodies so that they can start thinking

0:41

clearly , problem solving

0:44

and achieving their goals . I'm really glad

0:46

you're here this week . Whether you're listening

0:48

on YouTube or wherever you catch

0:50

your podcasts , it's great to

0:52

have you here . So let's go ahead and get started . This

0:54

week . I want to talk to you about trying

0:57

to go after your goals but really feeling anxious

0:59

and out of control , so that you start that process of overthinking

1:02

and then sabotaging yourself with those thoughts , so that you never quite

1:08

get what you actually came for . Even

1:10

when you have the best laid plans, and even when you

1:12

know exactly what you want , you just

1:14

can't get past it . This is really what

1:16

I do as a coach is help people find the thoughts

1:18

that are keeping them stuck and help them reframe

1:21

those thoughts by calming down their nervous

1:23

system . Because when you feel anxious , your

1:25

brain is not working properly

1:27

and we just need to break that habit

1:30

so that you can move forward . It sounds really

1:32

complicated . It's super simple . That doesn't

1:34

necessarily mean easy , but I can walk you through

1:36

all of that when we work together . I will talk about that

1:38

more later . But let's talk about feeling

1:40

stuck and anxious . Let's say

1:42

that you want to grow and expand . Whether

1:50

you're thinking about starting a business , about asking for a promotion , or maybe just even in your

1:52

personal life and deciding , you know what I really want to start running , whatever

1:54

it is that comes up for you . When you

1:56

want to grow or expand , to

1:58

do these things , you start to notice

2:00

that it feels really

2:02

uncomfortable , because

2:05

anytime we change what we've always done

2:07

, your brain is going to see that as a threat

2:09

. It likes the stuff that it already

2:11

knows . Yes , even if you're stuck

2:14

, even if you want these bigger things . It's

2:16

gonna feel really weird inside of your body and

2:18

, depending what you think about

2:20

the way that your body feels , you can interpret

2:23

that as excited or anxious

2:25

, or apprehensive . All

2:27

kinds of different emotions come up . But

2:29

when you have that feeling and your brain starts

2:31

making it a problem or a negative thing

2:33

, you're going to start to overthink and

2:36

you'll start to see all of these roadblocks

2:38

that you're imagining, that may or may not

2:40

be there , and for sure there are going to be hard

2:42

things about expanding . If it was easy

2:45

, you would have already done it . It wouldn't be a problem

2:47

. You'd just hop , skip and jump over to the next thing

2:49

that you wanted to do and we wouldn't be talking

2:51

about this . You wouldn't be listening . But that's

2:53

not the case , because your nervous system

2:55

can fire up and make up a big story

2:57

about how what you want is

2:59

dangerous and it will start coming up with a

3:01

bunch of different problems to make you

3:03

just give up on purpose , even

3:06

when you don't want to . So

3:08

let's say you have these great ideas and

3:10

you want them , but they feel really

3:12

impossible because of where

3:14

you are now or what you've experienced

3:17

in the past . Honestly , your brain

3:19

only has the past to go on . So

3:21

it's going to look back to the past and what you've experienced

3:24

then as a reference point and when

3:26

it sees that , oh yeah , you've quit

3:28

a couple of other things or you

3:30

usually give up pretty easily . Or this

3:33

is a lot of math , are you sure you want to do math ? These

3:35

are all scenarios that I've had in my

3:37

past . I've done several different

3:39

multi-level marketing things that I just

3:42

kind of got out of really easily . It wasn't

3:44

my thing , so I just gave up . I

3:46

was actually decent at one of them . I've

3:48

also told myself oh , I could never do that . I'm really

3:51

bad at math which is funny because I've taught math

3:53

in high school before but I would say

3:55

I'm really bad at math . Just these really

3:57

crazy stories that your brain comes up with to make

3:59

you quit because it feels uncomfortable

4:01

to move forward . So you'll notice that

4:03

you feel anxious and when you think about

4:06

trying new things , things

4:08

like oh , I have this business and

4:10

I'm really going to do this , but

4:12

I don't know Like I

4:14

got all the certifications , I did everything

4:17

I needed , but I don't

4:19

know . Paying for that seems really expensive

4:21

. I guess I can't do it . Let's say that

4:23

you buy a bakery and you get in and

4:25

it's a bakery that someone else had owned previously

4:27

, and you get in there and the oven's broken

4:29

and you're like , dang , I just spent all this money on the bakery

4:32

and then the oven went out . I guess that's

4:34

it . I have to sell the building . People

4:36

do this kind of sabotage

4:38

or this kind of like hard stop because

4:40

it feels uncomfortable to spend the money

4:42

and to really go it

4:45

all in on yourself . That's really what spending

4:47

money is about , right . It's investing more energy

4:49

or more resources into something that you're really

4:51

excited about . So it tells you,

4:53

your brain tells you that's never going to work

4:55

out , it's not worth it . This was a giant

4:57

, this was a terrible mistake . You should just quit now

5:00

, and you might . If

5:02

you can't challenge those feelings of

5:04

having the broken oven and

5:06

feeling like you can't work through it . We

5:08

just have to get clear on what you're actually thinking

5:10

. It could also show up in a way

5:12

that like you want to asking for what you

5:14

want or asking for what you need

5:16

, because you get really nervous about what somebody

5:18

else will think . So again

5:20

back to the bakery example . You bought a bakery

5:22

, things are great , you have great ideas

5:25

but you might need

5:27

some help and you need to hire an

5:29

employee . But you hire this employee

5:31

to come in and work for you and whether they're going to clean

5:34

or they're going to take orders or

5:36

they're going to bake the cupcakes , whatever it is that you hire

5:38

them for , you feel really shy about

5:40

bossing them around , so

5:49

you don't really put those boundaries down and you certainly don't ask for help when you're overwhelmed

5:51

. So that doesn't really work out either and they eventually quit . These are all just really kind of silent

5:53

ways that you're giving up on what you want because you feel

5:55

uncomfortable about asking for help , or because you

5:57

feel uncomfortable having to

5:59

try big , new , scary things that you've

6:01

never done before . Again , this all comes from

6:04

the past , being a reference point . Your brain

6:06

doesn't know , so it says that's

6:08

new , freak out , because this is probably

6:10

going to kill you . And none of that is necessarily

6:12

true , right ? We know , we know it's not true

6:14

, because if it were , people would never

6:17

start new businesses , they would never go after

6:19

promotions , they would never do

6:21

the things they want to do because it would feel uncomfortable

6:23

. So let's just notice right now that

6:25

if that's what you're thinking , that doesn't have

6:27

to be true , because if it was , nobody

6:30

would ever do it . And when I talk about true , I'm

6:32

talking about all or nothing here . Usually

6:34

, I'm discouraging people from being an

6:36

all or nothing thinker , but today I just want you to pay

6:38

attention to that that . That's like sink

6:41

or swim , right , there's a lot of in between . You

6:45

could tread some water for a while . So I want to tell you

6:47

a story about someone that I was thinking

6:49

about recently , who she

6:52

had started a business , and I'm just going to use

6:54

the I'm going to continue with the cake story as

6:56

a frame of reference , because the

6:58

cake story , I think , is really exactly

7:01

where the inspiration for this episode

7:03

came from . So , with this bakery

7:05

, I want to give you this example of

7:07

. I want you to put yourself in this situation . Pretend

7:10

with me for a minute that you want to open a cake

7:12

shop . I'm not saying you actually want to open a cake

7:14

shop , right , you can apply this to your own

7:16

life . Maybe you want to

7:18

, I don't know . Maybe

7:20

you want to quit your business and work

7:23

at the zoo , or maybe you

7:25

just want to ask for a promotion that would give you

7:27

a new position at your job . Maybe

7:29

you want to start a home-based business . Whatever

7:32

it is that you want to do , let's just frame

7:34

it from the cake shop example . Make it

7:36

fit your own life . This is one of the benefits with coaching

7:38

is that when I ask you questions and when I

7:40

give you examples , you can take the information

7:42

I'm giving you and you can apply it to yourself

7:44

. But for this podcast episode's purposes

7:47

, I'm going to pretend like we're opening

7:49

a bake shop and so you

7:51

buy the building and everything's good

7:53

and you've made this

7:55

gorgeous cake Like . This thing

7:57

is beautiful . I don't know

8:00

if you guys have ever heard of Cake

8:02

Bake , but I'm from Indiana and there's

8:04

this amazing cake shop in

8:06

down in the Indianapolis and Carmel area

8:08

that is like to

8:10

die for . I mean , it's

8:13

like the stuff of your Disney,

8:16

Windsor Palace , Hollywood

8:18

kind of dreams , with fairy lights

8:21

and tulle

8:23

, and like amazing

8:25

cakes that are huge and covered in

8:27

like this gold glitter . It's like . I

8:29

can't even describe it . You should definitely Google

8:31

it because it's amazing . So you

8:33

have this big dream of having a cake

8:35

shop that's going to be like rivaling

8:38

Cake Bake . It's the best example

8:40

I can give you right now . The place is magnificent , okay

8:42

, but you make a cake and it's beautiful

8:45

and it's good , like it's a really

8:47

good cake . So you make this beautiful

8:49

window in front of your cake shop and

8:51

you set this cake . Let's pretend like it's refrigerated

8:54

or something I don't really know how you display cakes but

8:56

let's pretend . You set it out there for everybody to

8:58

see and then

9:00

you wait and it's like your

9:02

best kept secret , right , like that

9:04

cake, if y'all knew about that cake , you

9:07

would be here , but I'm definitely not

9:09

about ready to tell you that it's there . Okay

9:12

, maybe I'll post a picture on

9:14

Facebook or Instagram and some people will

9:16

see it and maybe somebody comes

9:18

in and buys the cake , which is amazing , like

9:20

you've had success , right . But you're really discouraged

9:23

because it's not what you imagined in your head . You

9:25

thought you were going to make this cake and it was just like God

9:28

was going to beam a light down on the cake and

9:30

be like check out our cake . But

9:32

that's not the way it worked . So you're discouraged

9:34

because I don't know . I mean , I made this beautiful

9:36

cake and I even told , I told my friends

9:39

and they liked my cakes . They said I

9:41

make great cakes . They tried one when I

9:43

had them over for dinner one night , or this

9:45

one person came and they said it was amazing . They even said

9:47

thank you or whatever

9:49

. The problem is , but

9:54

you're holding back and you're feeling really discouraged because you're not seeing the success

9:56

that you had imagined . Another thing that could happen would be

9:58

that you're really struggling with learning

10:01

how to ask for what you need . So

10:03

let's go back to the example of you hired an employee

10:05

, so I have these things

10:07

that I need to do to be able to get

10:10

to where I want to go , whether it is

10:12

I need to take

10:14

a course on business

10:17

, maybe , maybe you need to learn how to do business , maybe

10:19

you need to learn how to code

10:23

or something like that if you're going to ask for a promotion

10:25

. I've been working on this thing , but

10:27

I could really use a little bit of help in the background

10:29

. So I've been working really , really hard to

10:31

tell people . I've decided I have to get out

10:33

there and tell people about my cake shop , and

10:36

I'm working really hard to do that . But because

10:38

I'm out telling people about my cake shop , I

10:40

don't have time to get

10:43

all of the groceries into the

10:45

bakery . I need somebody to clean , I need

10:47

somebody to take care of the orders

10:50

and do all of this back-end stuff so I can

10:52

tell people about my cakes and bake the cakes . Somebody

10:54

else needs to do the other things . But I'm

10:57

afraid , if I ask them to

10:59

go to the grocery or

11:01

to clean the oven , that that they're

11:03

going to get really upset . Like what if they think

11:05

I hired them for a bake shop and then they're mad and they quit

11:07

? What if they tell other people I'm a terrible boss

11:09

? What if they tell people that I don't know what I'm doing

11:12

? All of these thoughts you have about asking

11:14

for help whether it's what somebody

11:16

will think of you for asking for help maybe

11:19

they'll say she asked for help

11:21

because she doesn't know what she's doing , or she

11:24

asked this question and it just

11:26

shows that her stuff isn't that great

11:28

. Or who does she think she is to

11:31

be asking for this promotion or to be having

11:33

this bake shop if she is

11:35

doing that ? So all of these thoughts you

11:38

have about asking for help or asking

11:40

for what you want , whether it's a promotion

11:42

, whether it's an opportunity to

11:44

take part in this big event

11:47

that you've always wanted to do , again , relate this

11:49

back to your own life . But for cake

11:51

shop purposes , for demonstration

11:53

or example purposes , let's just say you have an

11:55

employee that you're afraid to ask them

11:57

to do something because you don't want to upset them and

11:59

you don't want to have anyone upset

12:01

with you or hear bad things about you . So you

12:04

hold back . Another

12:09

way could be is if you find a bunch of other things to do that feel really super

12:11

productive instead of working on telling people about your cakes

12:14

and baking cakes . And I've been guilty

12:16

of this right, like before . I was a coach . I

12:18

had no experience in business whatsoever

12:21

. I was a teacher and basically people

12:23

hand you clients when you're teacher . You get like

12:25

27 of them at a time and they're like here

12:27

are your clients for the year . So building

12:30

a business was really hard for me , and I'm certainly not

12:32

a business coach , but I do know

12:34

what it's like to feel like you're being really productive

12:36

doing other things and this is a really

12:38

common experience for people who

12:41

are trying to do anything

12:43

that moves them forward . We find other

12:45

things that feel really really good

12:47

and safe to do . So back

12:50

to the bakery example , let's say that

12:52

you notice that the bakery hasn't

12:54

really been redecorated since like 1973

12:57

and it's so gross in there . You

12:59

know what this place needs . It needs better paint

13:01

. We need to rip this ugly wallpaper

13:03

off or maybe even find some really new beautiful

13:06

wallpaper . I should probably put new flooring

13:08

in here . That's definitely going to make people want to come buy my

13:10

cakes . But it's not , is

13:12

it ? Because when people are coming to buy your cakes , they

13:14

don't give a crap about your wallpaper . I mean for

13:16

sure you could make it beautiful . Again , back

13:18

to my cake bake example . That place is amazing

13:20

. It is like the most beautiful place you could ever

13:23

eat cake in your life . But they

13:26

can sell those cakes at

13:28

a pawn shop and still

13:30

make money . Yes , the experience is part

13:32

of it with a cake , but their cakes

13:35

are amazing . The same could be true

13:37

for you . Whether it's that you're trying to get the promotion

13:39

or anything else , your work is incredible

13:42

, and believing in your work feels scarier

13:44

than doing other little side projects

13:46

to make it better . Am I being

13:48

clear about that ? I hope so . So

13:51

another thing that could happen that you're doing

13:53

to try and make yourself grow and

13:55

to feel really good and to feel more

13:57

in control instead of feeling so anxious

13:59

when you're trying to expand yourself is

14:02

that you start checking out what other people do , and

14:04

we're all guilty of this , right . I wonder

14:07

what that life coach over there is doing . I wonder

14:09

what that bakery down the street is doing . Is

14:11

that a cheesecake cake that looks like a regular

14:14

cake ? How did they do that ? How did they make a blueberry

14:16

muffin into a cake ? Whatever it is that

14:18

you're thinking , or if you're

14:20

asking , you know , I don't know . You know , this

14:25

is what I could bring to this new level that I want to go to in my business

14:27

, but I mean this other person, they're more qualified than me

14:29

. You start comparing yourself to other people , and

14:32

when you do that , you start noticing all

14:34

the things that you think you don't have , instead

14:36

of paying attention to the things that you're really amazing

14:38

and good at , which is where

14:40

you need to keep your focus . You feel really

14:43

inadequate , and when you feel inadequate , it's

14:45

not inspiring , it's not making you take

14:47

action , it's making you pull back even further

14:49

and it just goes back to those thoughts that you

14:51

have about yourself , but also what you think

14:53

about somebody else and why you think they're

14:55

better than you . But none of that is actually

14:58

true . It's just what you're afraid of , and if

15:00

you knew that you felt anxious inside , you

15:02

could check your thoughts . And that's where I'm getting with

15:04

this . Another problem that you might notice

15:06

is that you really think

15:08

that the problem is what

15:11

you're afraid will or won't

15:13

happen . And let me explain this

15:15

a little bit . Let's say that we go back to the

15:17

boundaries example . You're afraid to set boundaries with your

15:19

employee , or maybe with your

15:21

time or how you run your business

15:23

, or saying no to people who are asking you

15:25

to help out , because what

15:28

if I make someone mad and they quit ? I talked about that a minute

15:30

ago . What if I don't work

15:32

all the time ? What if you have a time boundary

15:35

and your thought is , if I don't come in

15:37

at 5 am and leave at 10 pm , nothing

15:39

will get done ? One , because you're not asking for

15:41

help , but two , you're taking

15:43

all the responsibility on yourself and you're not

15:45

giving yourself space to get away

15:48

from your work . And what I know

15:50

to be true , and what you will learn to be true , is

15:52

that the more space that you can give yourself , the

15:54

more creative you can feel and the more

15:56

calm you have , and when you get away

15:59

for a little bit , your body calms down

16:01

. It might take a little bit but your body

16:03

will calm down and you'll have bigger ideas

16:05

and your confidence will start to grow . But when

16:07

you're in the middle of it and you feel like you have to do , do

16:09

, do all the time , that can be really stifling

16:12

. It can actually shut down your progress

16:14

, whether it's asking for a promotion

16:16

because you're all hyped up , trying to work

16:18

all the time , but you feel like you're never getting where you need

16:20

to be , or whether it's trying to grow a

16:22

business where you think , if I don't work

16:24

all the time , everything will fall apart . And neither

16:26

of those things is actually true . The

16:30

other thought could be that if

16:32

this new bakery comes in down the street

16:34

, they're going to steal all

16:36

of my ideas and I have to be very protective

16:39

and real , graspy and scarce

16:41

, like scarcity minded and

16:43

I will have to fight them off because I can

16:45

be the only baker and nobody's coming here and

16:48

I only have a few clients that are coming to buy

16:50

cakes and if they don't come back and buy

16:52

more cakes , I'm going to go out of business . Maybe

16:54

, but looking

16:57

at what they're doing and comparing yourself to the new

16:59

bakery isn't selling your cakes

17:01

and that comes from confidence and

17:03

a belief in what you're doing and really

17:05

having faith that you started this bakery

17:07

because you're going to be secure and

17:09

you deserve to do those things . But you're not going

17:11

to be able to get to the level you

17:13

want to go to when you feel so anxious

17:15

that your brain is all locked up in everything that

17:17

could go wrong and will go wrong , even

17:20

if none of it's true . So here's what

17:22

has to happen instead . First thing

17:24

we need to do is we need to understand that anxiety is a

17:26

totally normal response to any of these things

17:28

. It's new , it's unfamiliar

17:30

, it's putting you outside of your comfort zone

17:33

and your brain is going to tell you everything that could

17:35

possibly go wrong . It's like a really

17:37

overdramatic teenager

17:40

or toddler and it just throws

17:42

a fit and says you should not do any of this

17:44

because certain death . That's how

17:46

quickly your brain's going to spiral out of control . So

17:49

what we want to do is we just want to notice that , like , oh

17:51

, wait a second , I feel anxious because

17:53

I'm actually succeeding , because I actually

17:55

dared to say yes to something that I wanted to do

17:57

, instead of sitting back and staying uncomfortable

17:59

and just feeling bad about myself because I didn't do

18:01

what I wanted , because you had the option

18:04

. You could have said no to opening the bakery

18:06

. You could say I really

18:08

want the promotion but I'm never

18:12

gonna ask for it, but you didn't . You decided you wanted to do this

18:14

thing and you've actually taken steps to get there

18:17

, and that's a huge beginning and

18:19

you should congratulate yourself for that . That

18:21

is a really big deal . A lot of people don't get that far

18:23

, and when you can do that , you can just

18:26

notice that anxiety in this situation

18:28

is normal , and I'm going to teach

18:30

you how to use that feeling as a motivator

18:32

instead of using it as a roadblock

18:34

. Okay , we're going to learn to

18:36

use the feelings inside of your body

18:39

to check your thoughts , because

18:41

when you feel anxious , when

18:43

you notice that your heart is pounding or your stomach

18:45

is in knots or you feel like you

18:48

can't swallow or you've just got all of these like

18:50

bats in your chest , however

18:53

, you describe anxiety , and we'll get really clear

18:55

on that when we work together . However , that description

18:57

is for you . When you feel that way , you're

18:59

not allowed to believe the things that you think , because

19:01

those are fear-based thoughts , they're limiting

19:03

thoughts , they're thoughts that aren't going to help you move forward

19:06

, because the whole intention of those thoughts

19:08

is to explain why you feel so afraid

19:10

and to keep you from feeling that way

19:12

. So you're going to pull back , you're not

19:14

going to take the next step , you're not going to put down the

19:16

boundary , you're not going to ask for help . You're not even going to

19:18

ask for the raise or the promotion . You're

19:20

not going to go tell people about how amazing your

19:22

bakery is and how you would be more than happy

19:25

to do their wedding cake . You're just going

19:27

to shut up and hope that nobody finds out you're

19:29

a fraud or sees you fail

19:31

, or maybe even notice that you opened a bakery

19:33

at all , because , oh my God , what would they think ? Let's

19:36

get past those thoughts and it really goes back to

19:38

how you're feeling . This is the step that I

19:40

use with my clients . It is incredible

19:42

how quickly you catch onto yourself and

19:45

how quickly you can change your thoughts . And

19:47

this is really the power of coaching , because

19:49

when we can calm your body down , I'm

19:51

going to ask you well , tell me more about your story , like why

19:54

, why are you ? What's up with you ? Why won't you tell anybody about that

19:56

amazing cake ? And you can say well , I

19:58

mean , I made the cake , but

20:03

one time I took a cake to a family reunion and somebody told me it was the worst

20:05

cake they ever had . And I know that's not true and this cake looks really good . And I'm

20:07

going to say hold up , wait , what was that ? Somebody told

20:09

you what ? Tell

20:12

me that thought again . Do you believe that

20:14

thought ? What if that

20:16

wasn't true ? What if that was just that one person's

20:18

opinion ? And

20:23

we're going to start looking at all the things that just fly out of your mouth like the truth and really

20:25

sink back into them Like okay , so that thought

20:27

right there . How often do you think

20:29

about that thought ? How much control

20:31

does that thought have over you ? And it's

20:33

funny those thoughts feel very

20:36

real to us because we feel anxious or we feel

20:38

embarrassed or small or whatever

20:40

it is that the thought is , so we

20:42

believe it and we take it as truth

20:45

. But it's really just the thought that

20:47

somebody said once that hurt your feelings , that

20:49

your body just remembered . So we're going to notice

20:51

that when you think that thought , oh , I feel anxious

20:53

, but that doesn't mean it's a true thought . I'm

20:56

going to help you find the sticky thoughts

20:58

so that you can move past them and

21:00

really get into what you want to ask

21:02

for . What you want to ask for what you need and

21:04

move forward , even if you

21:06

still feel anxious , because feeling anxious

21:09

isn't a problem unless you

21:11

believe what you're thinking . It's okay to

21:13

feel anxious . Some people would call that feeling

21:15

excited . It's really just back

21:17

to what you're thinking about when you

21:19

feel it . So we're going to focus

21:21

on small steps , one step at a time

21:23

. Okay , you bought the bakery . What

21:26

do you want to do with it ? What's your dream

21:28

? Let's talk about one thing you could do . Who

21:30

could you tell today ? What's one thing

21:32

you can do today that would help you feel

21:35

more confident about the bakery ? You

21:37

tell me what you think . I'm not going to tell you

21:39

what to do because I know the inside

21:41

of you is the right plan . Otherwise

21:43

, you would never have had the idea . That's

21:46

kind of the thing about ideas and this divine

21:48

inspiration, right ? It's in you . You're

21:50

just afraid to admit it . I

21:55

say this with love , because I've done it myself multiple times and really you have to have somebody

21:57

help you work through this sometimes , because we

21:59

can be our own worst enemies or our own greatest

22:02

cheerleaders . I'm going to teach you how

22:04

to use that anxiety to your benefit so you can

22:06

be your cheerleader , so you can say I

22:08

feel that and that means go all in . That

22:10

means don't believe my thoughts . It means I'm getting really

22:13

close to what I want . And we start

22:15

this by really deciding what you want . We're going

22:17

to just talk about what's your goal . What

22:19

do you want to do ? Let's get super clear on what you want

22:21

and why you want it . That

22:23

way it's harder to quit , and I

22:26

know what I can say . Wait a second , remember why you wanted

22:28

this thing . Don't forget about that . That's really

22:30

important . We're

22:33

going to challenge your thoughts . We're going to recognize what you're thinking and we're

22:35

just going to confront it and say is that actually

22:37

true ? Is it true that you're a loser ? Is

22:40

it true that you're not as

22:42

good as your coworker ? Is it actually

22:44

true that your cakes suck ? We're going

22:46

to challenge that and we're going to say , no , that's not true

22:48

. We're going to find evidence for what is true so

22:50

that you can use that to your benefits

22:52

. And while you do this

22:54

, you're

22:57

going to notice that your confidence starts to grow naturally . You don't have to try to

22:59

build your confidence . You're going to do things while you feel kind

23:02

of nervous about them and then we're going to go back and

23:04

we're going to see what worked for you . We're

23:06

going to take time to say tell me what worked

23:08

from your step . What did you notice

23:11

? Okay , that's great , you need to celebrate

23:13

that stuff . And I'm going to say , okay

23:15

, what didn't work ? Like what do you ? What didn't work

23:17

? Why do you think it didn't work ? What

23:19

can we change a little bit next time ? Let's just do one

23:21

thing different . And when we change one

23:24

thing , let's do it again . Let's say , okay , how

23:26

did it go ? What did you think ? What

23:28

went well ? And we're going to start collecting

23:30

these little Easter eggs of amazing things

23:33

that are always working out for you so that you

23:35

start to feel motivated . And suddenly people

23:37

are knocking at your door and they're like , hey , I

23:40

thought of you with this promotion . I think you're doing amazing

23:42

things . Or I heard that you had a bakery

23:44

. I had no idea this was here . Whatever

23:47

it is , you're going to start noticing that people

23:50

are paying attention and that you're believing in

23:52

yourself . So you're not afraid to ask for what you want

23:54

. You're

24:00

not afraid to ask for what you want . You're not afraid to ask for help . You're not afraid to tell people that you make some amazing , freaking cakes and that you deserve

24:03

the promotion and that you're going to take some time off to explore this other hobby that you wanted

24:05

to do . Again , make this fit for your own life

24:07

, because the process is the same you have

24:09

to know what you want , you have to challenge what you're

24:11

thinking , you have to build your confidence and

24:13

you have to be willing to take action . This

24:16

is what I can help you with , and if you want to talk to me

24:18

about how we can work together , it's so

24:20

super simple . You can find me on

24:23

Instagram or on threads , or

24:25

on Facebook at @coachm egand evito

24:27

. All one word, no underscores , no hyphens

24:29

, no anything in between . My name

24:31

is Megan Devito . Put the coach in front of it and message

24:33

me , because my DMs are always open and I will

24:36

get back with you . You can also find me

24:38

on LinkedIn it's just under Megan DvVito , without

24:40

the coach , and you can message me there too . So

24:43

I would love to talk with you more about

24:45

how I can help you get what you want . It is

24:47

the most fun thing

24:49

, the biggest blessing , and I absolutely

24:51

believe that you are here for

24:54

the purpose of doing the things that you want

24:56

. I think everybody was put on this planet for a reason

24:58

and when we can knock out that anxious

25:00

thinking and the anxious feeling , everybody

25:03

benefits . So if I don't talk

25:05

to you before , I will

25:07

be back next week with another episode . Take

25:09

care . I hope you enjoyed this episode

25:11

of the More Than Anxiety podcast . Before you

25:13

go , be sure to subscribe and leave a review

25:16

so others can easily find this resource as

25:18

well . And , of course , if you're ready

25:20

to feel more relaxed , have

25:22

more energy , more confidence and

25:24

a lot more fun , you can go to the show notes , click

25:26

the link and talk to me about coaching . Talk

25:29

to you soon .