Fame and Fortune on the Internets

The Circuit is MOJO HD’s very first online web show, joining roughly seventeen million other web shows that range from everything to tech shows, to cooking shows, to children shows, to full sitcoms, to full dramas, to bad shows, to shows about bad shows.

Aside from writing The Circuit, I — and by I, I mean Yuri Baranovsky, that writer dude — am also the co-creator and co-writer of another hit Internet show called, Break a Leg (www.breakaleg.tv — it’s funny, watch it, oh god yes, watch it!)

When we first made Break a Leg — roughly a year and a half ago — the hippest thing around was LonelyGirl and people were screaming that this was the future of media. This strange, interactive world, this independently-made, strangeness would replace shows like the West Wing and The Sopranos and would fill our entertainment world with, the analysts said, 3-5 minute episodes of people doing something stupid, funny, or a strange, surreal combination of both.

At the time, Break a Leg was one of the first longer-form, fully-written, Internet sitcoms — there’s still very few, but that arena has expanded (I heard Break a Leg is funny and well-crafted, by the way. You know how I know this? ‘Cause the Wall Street Journal said so! Oh, that’s right! Vanity, thy name is Me!)

Why am I telling you this? Because, after a year and a half (let’s call it two years, I’ve just recounted while writing this paragraph) of being in this business — and I use business loosely — I am here to lend advice to every new creator who has sat down with his friends and said — I’m going to become an Internet celebrity.

Here we go — Top Five Tips on Making An Internet Show a Hit.

1. Do something audacious. Eat a live rabbit. Catch a live rabbit. Do something to a live rabbit that people are horrified/amused/embarrassed by. Put it on YouTube and demand viewers to post rabbit-related video responses. Watch your niche, rabbit-loving audience expand into the mainstream.

2. Do something funny. Just remember, this is the Internet and the Internet audience is like the old Vietnam vet who has seen it all and really doesn’t care too much about anything. Plus, he’s anonymous and can throw racial epitaphs at you if he doesn’t like your video. One suggestion is to set someone on fire and then crack wise — this is internet video gold.

3. Do something short. See?

4. Do something adorable. Oh my god, is that a kitten falling asleep on top of a bear cub who is riding on a puppy that’s running through a field of daisies that are planted on a red balloon that’s being held by a tiny baby that is holding another, smaller kitten?! I love it — check this out family, friends, ex-lovers, ex-haters, ex-rabbits — it’s so cute.

5. Don’t listen to any tip but this one. Let’s be at least a little serious for a very quick moment. Take pride in your work. Be an artist. Create intelligent content. If it’s humor, use wit, use shock, use irony — sometimes use sex. Be funny. If it’s drama, be honest, strive for perfection, work hard — being on the Internet is not a free pass for poor quality. Get good actors. Get good writers. Get a good crew. Build your story, take yourself and your project seriously. If you have money, use it wisely, if you don’t, use everyone you’ve got to push the boundaries of what independent media is. Remember that this is art and always pushing forward, pushing on, getting better, growing, learning, pushing, fighting — this is the way to success. And, at the sake of being repetitive — the Internet is not a free pass for poor quality. Strive for perfection.

And if all that fails, put a kitten on a tiny bear cub that’s riding a puppy that’s running through a field of daisies that are planted on a red balloon that’d being held by a tiny baby that is holding another, smaller kitten and let fame finally flitter through your flowering finite alliterating life (it’s late and I ran out of F-words — but the effort was there.)

Hope you like this week’s episode!

-Yuri, who should probably not be writing at 2:26 AM as his blogs seem less like blogs and more like peyote-fueled adventures in language.