0:03

You know what I always wanted my whole life. I always

0:06

wanted my voice to sound like yours. I realized

0:08

that when you were talking. I was like, I was just like, I've just loved

0:10

your We always call it a dirty laugh, which is so

0:12

awful of the English and sexist. My

0:14

mother she was like, you have to appear dis actress

0:17

laugh. She was like, she's the dirtiest laugh I've ever heard,

0:19

and she introduced me to your laugh.

0:22

It is a dirty laugh. My dad and

0:24

my mother both had dirty laughs, so I've

0:26

got the genetic coding for filthy

0:28

laugh rauble dirty. Yeah,

0:33

Hello, I'm Mini driver. I've

0:35

always loved Proust's questionnaire. It

0:38

was originally in nineteenth century

0:40

parlor game where players would ask

0:42

each other thirty five questions aimed at

0:45

revealing the other player's true nature.

0:47

In asking different people the same set of questions,

0:50

you can make observations about which

0:52

truths appear to be universal. And it made

0:54

me wonder, what if these questions

0:57

were just the jumping off point, what greater

0:59

depths would be revealed if I asked

1:01

these questions as conversation starters.

1:04

So I adapted Pru's questionnaire and

1:06

I wrote my own. Seven questions that I personally

1:08

think are pertinent to a person's story. They

1:10

are when and where were you happiest?

1:13

What is the quality you like least about yourself?

1:16

What relationship, real or fictionalized,

1:18

defines love for you? What question

1:20

would you most like answered? What

1:22

person, place, or experience has shaped

1:25

you the most? What would be your last meal?

1:27

And can you tell me something in your life

1:29

that's grown out of a personal disaster? And

1:33

I've gathered a group of really

1:35

remarkable people, ones that I

1:37

am honored and humbled to have had the

1:39

chance to engage with. You may not hear

1:41

their answers to all seven of these

1:44

questions. We've whittled it down to

1:46

which questions felt closest to their

1:48

experience, or the most surprising,

1:50

or created the most fertile

1:53

ground to connect. My

1:55

guest today is the actor, activist and podcaster

1:58

Jimi La Jamil. Jamila

2:00

started out presenting on UK television and radio

2:03

and then found her way onto the brilliant and extremely

2:05

successful comedy The Good Place. During

2:08

the pandemic, she began a podcast called

2:10

Iwey with Jamila Jamil, which is

2:12

a conversational female focused podcast

2:14

exploring body positivity racial inclusivity,

2:17

and much more. The thing I love

2:19

best about Jamila is that she is

2:21

a voice. While most celebrities

2:24

have a certain curated presentation of

2:26

opinions in these times of rampant

2:28

cancelation, Jamila stands by

2:30

her voice, her advocacy of women

2:32

and the need for changing the way women are

2:34

passed by society. She is

2:37

unaffectedly, raw, funny, and

2:39

herself a rare force of

2:41

nature in

2:46

your life? Can you tell me where and when you

2:48

are happiest?

2:49

Oh? Okay, where and when

2:51

was I happiest? It was

2:54

I think Thanksgiving and a

2:56

friend photographed this moment,

2:59

and now I've got it for I could send it to

3:01

you. But I was cuddling on

3:03

the sofa with my boyfriend

3:06

of nine years and our

3:09

two dogs, and everything

3:12

was the most peaceful it's ever been in my life.

3:14

I am the most grown up I have ever been, thank God,

3:16

considering I am significantly older, and

3:19

I had no worries

3:21

or problems in that moment. I was just

3:23

surrounded by everything I love. Everything was soft

3:26

and loving and wonderful, and I'm

3:28

so glad that that moment is captured. And

3:31

I'm laughing hysterically in the photo and

3:33

I can see that it's genuine

3:36

happiness. There's so many smiles I've done for

3:38

photographs on red carpets

3:40

or at work or even at other people's

3:42

parties, and I can see in my eyes that I'm

3:44

faking it. And I would say,

3:46

the happiest moment in my life has just happened,

3:48

and hopefully it will lead to many more.

3:51

Oh, do you think there's like a pack

3:53

mentality in that that snuffle

3:56

of dogs you?

3:58

Yeah, in a scrum. I think it's tribal.

4:01

Yeah, that feeling of like being in

4:03

something and that nothing could harm

4:05

you, nothing could penetrate that, And it's

4:08

I find you can only be purely present with

4:10

dogs as well. Yeah, lovers and it's a different

4:13

story, but dogs they

4:16

require complete presence.

4:17

It just like my happiness equates,

4:19

I think genuinely to my sort of dopamine and

4:22

my quarter sole levels, you know, quarter cell being the

4:24

kind of stress hormone like dogs,

4:27

cuddles, affection, laughter, These

4:29

things lower my quarter sole levels and they

4:31

increase my dopamine levels. And

4:33

that I've started to look at myself as a

4:35

sort of neurochemical computer and

4:37

now focus only in every area

4:40

of life of is it going to bring me cortisol?

4:42

Or is it going to bring me dopamine? Because

4:45

that's how I decide. That's how I make.

4:47

Almost every decision now is not based

4:49

on how impressive it's going to make me, or

4:51

how thin I'm going to become, or

4:54

all the different stupid fucking metrics

4:56

that we have. I'm deciding everything

4:58

based on the neural chemicals it's going to release

5:01

in my brain, because they're in lies happiness.

5:03

I absolutely love that

5:05

the chemical decisions. Is

5:08

this going to bring me cortisol? Is this going to really dopemine?

5:10

So I just had all my blood work done the other day

5:12

because things have felt kind of out of balance,

5:15

and it turns out that I am completely and

5:17

utterly negative DHA,

5:20

which you might know, I don't know, balances

5:22

your adrenal system. So basically all

5:25

I am doing is pumping cortisol

5:28

around my body. But my understanding is if you don't

5:30

have any DHA, which I

5:32

think balances and calms, that you're only

5:34

going to be in fight or flight panic mode, which

5:36

is essentially, when something tricky happens,

5:39

I pull in every other tricky, awful thing

5:41

and it turns into a kind of panic sandwich,

5:44

and it was really interesting to go,

5:46

Look, that might be part of my mental

5:49

makeup, but there is also a full blown

5:51

chemical reason behind that.

5:54

And I love the notion

5:56

of like encouraging. Is this going to

5:58

make me feel good or is this going to make me feel stressed?

6:01

Yeah. I had a blood test result come back

6:03

yesterday that showed that I still have low DHA,

6:06

but I didn't know what it was, and I thought to

6:08

myself, God, I'm not even aware

6:11

of when my adrenals are activated because

6:13

I've been activated since I was born. Probably

6:16

you know, I've been so stressed for so long that I

6:18

don't really remember what peace feels like.

6:20

So now when I get kind of snapshots

6:22

of it like I did.

6:23

Well, you've got a literal picture of that now.

6:25

Yeah, I'm getting it framed so we can remind

6:28

me to always seek out that

6:30

moment.

6:31

H I think it's a brilliant thing, just generally,

6:33

to be able to identify what increases

6:36

a dopamine response and what increases

6:38

stress. It's not always possible to cut out the

6:40

stuff that is stressful, but I

6:43

do think you can focus on the stuff that is good

6:45

and heads towards that consciously or

6:47

like on your weekend when you're not in an office.

6:49

Well, you know, I've been having like a sort of existential

6:52

not breakdown, but break through, I would say

6:54

in the last year, we spoke about it on the phone,

6:56

you and I, where I was telling you that I've like suddenly had

6:59

this huge like what the fuck am I doing?

7:01

Why am I living somewhere so expensive?

7:04

Why am I working too

7:06

hard and spending less time with my dogs

7:08

and my boyfriend and my friends. That moment

7:10

epitomized like me feeling like,

7:13

Oh, I've fucking smashed it in life,

7:15

more than any award I've ever won, more

7:17

than any accolade I've ever had, more than any

7:20

set I've ever been on. That moment was

7:22

just my like this is my academy

7:24

award, Like this is what I've been striving

7:26

towards, and now I'm like furiously

7:29

chasing that feeling where I'm

7:31

so lucky to do the job that I do. But

7:33

the amount that people work and feel encouraged

7:35

to work, and the way that we have bastardized the idea

7:38

of discipline, but only discipline towards

7:40

one thing, and not discipline towards happiness

7:42

and mental health and physical health. I

7:45

think it's just fucked. And so I've

7:48

decided to take that into my own hands and now

7:50

seek pleasure not as an indulgence

7:52

but as a necessity.

7:54

Hmm oh, I like that. I'm going to needle

7:56

point that on a pillow.

7:57

Well, especially as women, we're taught that everything

8:00

is like, you're lucky. If you enjoy

8:02

it, you're lucky. If you have a good time, you're lucky. If you

8:04

come during sex, it's like, oh, what

8:06

a king, what a god? I got

8:09

to also have an orgasm, Like, it's amazing.

8:11

The way that it has been like somehow

8:14

rebranded as an indulgence,

8:16

as an extra, as an if you're lucky,

8:19

that's ridiculous. We're sort of shamed

8:21

out of the pursuit of any kind of pleasure. And

8:23

so that's why I've decided to

8:26

completely shift my adventure.

8:41

What relationship, real or fictionalized,

8:43

defines love for you?

8:45

Oh God, what a great question as a pathetic

8:47

answer to say, my dog, isn't it?

8:50

No, it's not pathetic. It

8:52

is not. Your answers are not pathetic.

8:54

They are your answers. And this is

8:56

a judgment free zone.

8:58

Because the reason I say this is because

9:00

my firstborn dog,

9:03

Baryld and I have a spiritual

9:05

connection. I don't care

9:07

what anyone says. We have known each other in other

9:10

lives. He just gets me. I

9:12

get him. We have these long staring

9:14

sessions between the two of us, and dogs don't really

9:17

like to make eye contact with people, but he just wants

9:19

to stare in my eyes. And I believe,

9:21

which shows that I'm clearly still crazy

9:24

that we are telepathically communicating,

9:26

like I really and this is the sort of thing

9:28

that will be like clipped and then

9:31

that'll be a headline as if I'm completely serious.

9:33

Obviously, my boyfriend that is a

9:35

meaningful and extraordinary love.

9:37

But this dog and human relationship

9:40

is just completely ridiculous. I

9:42

can't explain it. I think it's the fact that something

9:44

can be a different species to me and I don't

9:47

get anything back from him. Right

9:49

He shits and I pick it up, and all the

9:51

laborer is coming from my end.

9:53

You know.

9:53

We talk about their unconditional love for us,

9:56

and I'm like, Okay, well, I'm the

9:58

one putting in all of the work here and doing

10:00

all of the feeding and paying the rent and doing

10:02

everything. But oh God,

10:04

the way that I could love something that is

10:06

a different species for me has

10:08

really shocked me because I was not an animal person

10:11

until I had him. Oh, writ at all,

10:13

not at all, not interested,

10:15

didn't give a shit.

10:16

So it was just him, just him

10:18

specifically, and how did you find him?

10:21

He was gifted to me during the pandemic

10:23

by someone who knew of this doggie who needed

10:25

a home, and so he was given to

10:28

me.

10:28

But why do they think of you the legendary

10:31

animal dislike her?

10:33

I wasn't an animal dislike her. I was just

10:35

indifferent. But I think that I so

10:37

many questions because I'd had a nervous breakdown.

10:39

All right, Minnie, I had.

10:41

A nice break and they

10:43

wanted to make you feel w They were like a dog.

10:45

Let's see if this will help, Jamina,

10:47

Let's see.

10:48

And also to be like perfectly candid.

10:51

My boyfriend also was thinking that maybe we should

10:53

have children together, which I don't know why you would

10:55

ever think that after spending time with me, but

10:58

he did. And I was very against the idea of

11:00

having children, and I think he wanted

11:02

to see if it would

11:04

bring out something maternal in me, so

11:07

I think that was also part of the agenda.

11:09

But then having a dog was so hard that

11:12

he didn't want children anymore after

11:14

having a dog.

11:15

Oh my god. So it

11:18

actually worked out for everybody.

11:20

I win everything. I am God's favorite. It

11:22

all worked out in my favorite, and I got this extraordinary

11:24

puppy that I completely fell in love with.

11:26

So it was a puppy when you got it. That's why it was

11:28

so hard, because it is a bit like having a newborn.

11:31

Yeah, it really is. But my relationship

11:33

with my dog is the most unexpected, strange

11:36

and brilliant love. And

11:38

I really struggle with being perceived. I

11:41

don't like to be perceived, which is so ridiculous

11:43

because I've put myself in an industry where I'm constantly

11:45

subjected to perception and it is my

11:47

fault. Just to be clear, I have subjected myself

11:50

to constant scrutiny and perception, and yet

11:52

I hate it, and I don't want to be looked

11:54

at and I don't want to be observed.

11:57

And what I feel about the dog is that he's

11:59

just never they're judging, because he's not. He doesn't

12:01

care what I look like. He doesn't know what I'm supposed

12:04

to look like. I'm not supposed to look like. He doesn't care and I

12:06

think, or if I'm clumsy, or if

12:08

I'm tired and boring, there's still

12:10

a feeling in any romantic relationship or

12:12

friendship of expectation that

12:14

I don't feel with the dog. And it doesn't mean that I don't

12:17

show up for him, but it just means

12:19

that the markers are very different. You know, I still have to be

12:21

some sort of sexy and some sort of attractive

12:23

in front of my partner. I don't have to do that

12:25

in front of a dog.

12:26

Listen, you don't have to convince me that

12:29

it is one of the greatest loves of

12:31

all with the dog.

12:32

Yeah, it could never be a fictional one, because I don't feel

12:34

like I've yet found a fictional representation

12:36

of what I consider to be a love that I relate to

12:38

HM. You know, like my idea of

12:40

love is so the opposite of what Hollywood's sold

12:43

to us as romance and

12:45

love, you know, and I think it really fucked

12:47

us up and gave us really unhealthy ideals.

12:49

And you know, I thought I wasn't in

12:52

love with my boyfriend because I had no adrenaline,

12:54

you know, I had no fight or flight, I had no

12:57

panic. My appetite was fine, I was sleeping

12:59

well. And then I heard this Nat King Cole song

13:01

that I then played to him because he felt the same way. We

13:03

just kept on being like, are we just friends who are shagging?

13:06

We couldn't understand what this bond was

13:08

or why we didn't want to leave each other side, but we also

13:10

didn't feel ostensibly quote unquote

13:13

in love with each other. And then

13:15

I played in this song by Nat King Cole called This

13:17

Can't Be Love, in which he sings about

13:20

this exact phenomena of like, well,

13:22

this can't be love because I feel too well, I'm

13:24

eating I'm sleeping great. I mean, I clearly

13:27

like you. I love to be where you are, but like, I'm

13:29

not in love with you because it's ridiculous. I don't

13:31

feel panicked all the time. And that

13:33

song was whistleblowing that we are

13:35

being fed romantic bullshit and

13:38

that actually real love. And I'm more

13:40

in love with James now than I was

13:42

nine years ago. And I would have missed

13:44

out on that fucking relationship because I was

13:46

trained to think that the person who gives me

13:48

anxiety.

13:49

It's the one who you actually love.

13:51

That my body is telling me to fucking run

13:53

away from I'm going, oh wow,

13:55

this is the one.

13:58

Ah, this is it?

13:59

Yeah, this is it A ruined me.

14:01

Yeah, this is exactly what I meant.

14:03

Yeah.

14:03

So I don't believe on the bad boy. I

14:06

believe in the nice person and I want to

14:08

be with someone who makes me feel calm.

14:10

I couldn't agree with you more. I have found

14:12

exactly the same person in that dynamic

14:14

cotonit and it was a little bit later, but it's

14:16

fucking boring to watch.

14:17

So that's why no one would ever want to watch this love

14:20

story about me and James who just had a really lovely,

14:22

safe time forever.

14:24

Yeah, I want to ask you really quickly, just going

14:26

back to your dog? Oh yeah, not that I don't love James,

14:29

but I want to get back to your dog. Have you ever thought of getting

14:31

those communication paths where you know, they hit

14:33

a thing like mum walk now,

14:36

bitch.

14:37

No, only because I

14:39

worry it would break this idea I have

14:41

that he loves me too, because what if he's just

14:44

like cunt cunt, cunt cunt, you

14:47

look ugly today? And then I realized he

14:49

is judging me.

14:50

Don't you understand? You create the communication

14:53

had yourself, and it just says bliss

14:55

love.

14:56

Now that's too much. No, that's too

14:58

that's too control. No,

15:00

I can't monitor what he's saying. I would love

15:02

to. I always think it would be really funny. Also,

15:05

my dog wouldn't learn. I was told by a trainer

15:07

that he has a low desire to please, and I was like,

15:09

that's my baby. He got that from me.

15:11

By the way, I have a similar dog. He's

15:13

an absolute ass. I love him pieces

15:16

he actually has very few dog

15:18

like qualities. Yeah, I can't wait to meet that.

15:21

And my other dog is amazing as well. But I'm just saying

15:23

I've known baroled for much longer.

15:25

Barreled barrel like Harold.

15:27

But I have a friend who's English

15:29

and so posh that she thought what I wanted

15:31

to call him Barry because that's my favorite name. She

15:33

was like, oh Barry is that short for barreled?

15:36

Well it is. Now what

15:43

question would you most like? Answered? Oh?

15:46

Fuck me?

15:49

Does anyone enjoy reverse

15:52

cowgirl?

15:59

You know what, I'm going to get a lot of very interesting

16:02

letters.

16:03

Now because I know the people I think who are receiving

16:05

it do, but I mean enjoy doing it?

16:08

Does anyone enjoy doing reverth cowgirl.

16:11

Maybe there are other questions

16:13

in life.

16:14

There are other questions. I mean, I'll take that

16:16

as a very practical one.

16:17

And I'm sure what kind of other questions have you had?

16:22

You know, what happens

16:24

when you die? Oh? Yeah,

16:26

are they aliens?

16:28

We can do this again? No, no, we can do this again.

16:30

I hadn't pre read any questions. I'm sorry,

16:32

no, no, no, no.

16:33

Do you mean you don't understand? That is a

16:35

great, great answer. And the

16:37

silence afterwards is only because

16:40

I've basically been bludgeoned with the

16:43

regular answers. And that really

16:45

is a very good question. And I look forward

16:47

to people saying yes, I enjoy

16:49

it. But then why we need a

16:51

why? I don't want to know.

16:52

Just yes or no.

16:53

Maybe because they have a really nice

16:56

bottom and they love it being

16:58

looked at.

16:59

Okay,

17:02

well that's not me, you know.

17:04

And I also really hate exercise. I

17:07

hate bouncing up and down. I hate moving.

17:10

And then also like the looking back are

17:12

you supposed to do it as

17:15

well?

17:15

It sort of hurts you, particularly after

17:17

the age of fifty, like looking back over your shoulders

17:19

like ow and bouncing this

17:21

is a chiropractic nightmare. What

17:28

is the quality you like least about yourself.

17:31

Oh, the quality I like least about

17:33

myself. I'm quite rude and

17:36

I'm working on it. Okay, I

17:38

don't mean to hurt people's

17:40

feelings, but I'm incredibly candid

17:44

and I see in negatives.

17:47

So when I listen to something,

17:50

when I look at something, when I hear something,

17:53

I can only first identify

17:55

what's wrong. So

17:57

I have such a critical

18:00

brain, but not really in a judgmental

18:02

way, justin that's all I can

18:04

see. I noticed these problems and they need to be addressed,

18:07

and then I can relax and enjoy the rest of the art.

18:10

And my boyfriend has been teaching me

18:12

about the shit sandwich, whereas I

18:14

was doing shit on toast, which

18:16

is where you say something not nice

18:18

first and then you say you at

18:20

the end cushing it with something lovely.

18:23

So I've learned to override my instinct

18:26

and say something, find something nice to

18:28

say first, and then deliver my

18:30

critique. But I really need to work on my

18:32

delivery.

18:33

But here's the thing. I think that's really interesting

18:35

that you know really clearly

18:38

that there is this thing that you want to work on. I think

18:40

it's good that you know that I do exactly the same

18:42

thing I've had to teach myself. You know, it's funny with

18:44

directors when you're really in it and you've done

18:47

what you considered to be a good or an interesting

18:49

or at least a good place to start take and

18:51

they come in and they go, that was

18:53

perfect. That was perfect.

18:57

Now you need to do this and this.

19:00

My brain has been miswired

19:02

because being told something is perfect,

19:04

but then being told that we have to carry on and

19:06

do it is so not helpful.

19:09

It's so much better. For example, if a director comes

19:11

in and goes, I really loved the

19:14

way you made me listen to this section

19:16

of that speech. I'd really love

19:19

to feel the same way at the end of

19:21

that the end of the scene, Like that is

19:23

so helpful and so brilliant because

19:25

it's not unclear. Yeah, I like

19:27

that. Your boyfriend has said

19:30

very clearly, you need to work

19:32

on your shit sandwhich not your shit on toast.

19:35

Yeah it's a vile analogy, but also

19:37

really.

19:38

It is graphic, but it has really

19:40

really helped me. And everyone said, I've come

19:42

a really long way in the last few years.

19:44

Everyone everyone says, I'm so

19:47

much better.

19:47

Yeah, I called an actor turned sort of pundit

19:50

of politician type figure. I said publicly

19:52

that he looked like a freshly wanked cock. Oh

19:56

my god, didn't I did think

19:59

I did personal attack. Now,

20:01

he is not a nice man. He says horrible, hateful

20:04

things, right, but

20:06

I just lowered myself to his level and

20:08

then some because I delivered what

20:10

was not It's not not funny.

20:12

It's not not funny, and it might also not

20:15

be not true. However,

20:18

that is subjective. Because the wanked

20:20

cock is in the eye of the beholder. It's

20:23

what I've learned. And

20:26

that's the clip from this podcast.

20:28

Well that's also now another thing to get

20:31

needle pointed on a pillow. Yeah, the wanked

20:33

cock is in the eye of the beholder.

20:36

But either way, why say it like

20:38

that? It didn't do me any favors

20:40

in the long run.

20:41

By the way, here's me now immediately giving

20:44

you advice. I want to read that sentence

20:46

in a book. I don't want you to be attacked

20:48

for saying that, but me reading that

20:51

in a book makes me laugh so

20:53

uncontrollably. And you

20:55

have such a brilliant turn of phrase. I

20:57

do think that perhaps that is the distance

21:00

that you are going to require. Is that you can put all those

21:02

thoughts down, then an editor can go through and go,

21:04

well, I'm not tethering that to

21:07

an actual person, but that's brilliant observation

21:09

about a human.

21:10

Yeah, well, there you go. I think he was being

21:12

mean about fat people or something, and I wanted

21:14

to be like, who are you to criticize

21:16

the way that anyone looks? But then I'm still doing

21:18

it, I'm still participating. So

21:21

growing up a little bit late, but I was to be fair

21:24

crazy, So I think that that is a

21:26

slight get out of jail free cut as

21:28

not. But I really was crazy for a really

21:30

long time. And because I was famous,

21:32

nobody told me. And so

21:35

I was a little bit late to the development

21:37

game. And I'm getting there and I think

21:39

I'm making up good time. Well here we are, but

21:42

I'm trying to get to a

21:44

better place before I turn forty.

21:46

Great, you've got a year in

22:02

your life. What person, place,

22:04

or experience most altered your

22:06

life?

22:07

Oh, person, place,

22:11

or experience. I've

22:15

got two good ones. Am I only allowed to choose one?

22:17

Now you can tell us both and then we'll choose which one's

22:19

the first. Okay, there you go.

22:20

That feels good.

22:21

All right.

22:22

I was hit by car at seventeen, just before

22:24

I was seventeen, and I

22:26

broke my back and it completely

22:29

changed my life for the obvious

22:32

reasons because it interrupted my life, but

22:34

also it meant that I had

22:36

this sense of perspective for the

22:38

rest of my existence that has

22:41

been unshakable. That

22:43

I do not sweat the small stuff.

22:46

And there's a certain extent to which I allow myself

22:48

to be neurotic, but generally I

22:50

have a very strong and overwhelming

22:53

idea that essentially

22:55

everything's going to be okay. Like my metric is

22:57

that as long as I can peel my own, I've smashed

22:59

it. And so it's given me a very simple metric to

23:01

meet my whole life where I didn't need to impress

23:04

anyone particularly, I didn't need to do

23:06

anything extraordinary. I just wanted

23:08

to be able to pee on my own. And

23:11

it has led to being in an

23:13

industry that can really devastate

23:15

people because of the expectation and

23:18

given me a fairly level

23:21

head. I was hit by one car into

23:23

another car. Wow, you know, it's just

23:25

like flipping around all over the road and Hamstead

23:27

like a pancake. And I survived,

23:30

which is a miracle, and it

23:32

just reframed the rest of my life.

23:34

It made me very unafraid of failure, and

23:37

it made me feel very

23:39

obsessive about making them most of everything.

23:41

And so that doesn't make me a great adventurer.

23:44

You know, I haven't climbed mountains, et

23:46

cetera. Obviously, my attitude to reverse cowgirl

23:49

sort of sets us up for not a very

23:51

literally adventurous mentality.

23:53

But I want to just fucking soak up

23:56

people and life and food and

23:58

experiences. I think

24:00

that I owe that to that very early cluster

24:02

fuck that really it really went

24:05

down like a fucking barrel

24:07

of shit. But that was fine. I would not

24:09

be the woman I am today if

24:11

it were not for that time. It was also an extraordinary

24:14

year and I was so happy because I was

24:16

on morphine, which is heroin

24:18

really, and I was watching television

24:21

all day and it was the golden years of

24:23

film and TV, and I

24:26

was eating ice cream all day, because

24:28

when you're completely fucked, everyone

24:30

just brings you comfort food. So it

24:32

was thrilling. When people go like, oh, I'm

24:35

so sorry, I'm always like it was the greatest year

24:37

of my life. So that is

24:39

my main defining.

24:40

One okay,

24:45

So what would be your last meal?

24:47

My last meal would be chops

24:52

and chips.

24:54

What kind of chops?

24:54

Poor called lamb lamb chops, lammers,

24:58

lammers, chops and chips, but

25:00

with.

25:01

Light mint sauce and ketch

25:03

up with the chips.

25:04

No, I hate ketch up. Hate ketchup.

25:06

I despise it, despise a condiment

25:08

that isn't other than mustard. Mustard

25:11

has managed to seep through. But I

25:13

don't like anything that's a big sauce, So

25:15

chops and chips. Is there a place

25:17

that you have this or is this something you make? Because

25:19

I don't think I've ever seen lamb

25:22

chops. I guess I have seen lamb chops on the menu

25:24

where you could order a side of fries. No, I horrify

25:27

every restaurant that has them with my

25:29

order. I guess it's like a Greek restaurant who

25:31

has chips available for the Neanderthal

25:34

English people who come in and don't want

25:36

their delicious lemon potatoes. But I

25:38

am said Neanderthal, and

25:41

so like, I just fucking love chips. I

25:43

need to eat them with everything.

25:44

I love chips too.

25:45

I have chips with every meal that I can.

25:47

They are a key part of my diet

25:49

because when I had anorexia, I

25:51

never ate chips, and

25:54

so now I am determined to make

25:56

up for some lost time within you know,

25:59

reason, so that I can make

26:01

sure I give myself those things that I had

26:04

demonized. But as a child, my

26:06

grandparents used to take me because I grew up in

26:08

Spain, and so we used to go

26:11

up into the mountains and there

26:13

would be a special restaurant

26:15

that had chops and chips, lamb chops and chips,

26:17

And there's just something

26:20

about that combination that reminds me

26:22

of a really happy, simple time

26:24

in my life. It's a simple meal and it's

26:26

just delicious and salty. So

26:29

that's my favorite. That's my favorite

26:31

thing.

26:32

Yeah, why don't even eat me? And that sounds good

26:34

to me.

26:34

It's fucking wonderful. I know I should

26:36

be a vegetarian or a vegan.

26:38

You should not should No, no, no no. I won't

26:40

have.

26:40

People say I'm a bad feminist because I.

26:42

Know we're not here to like you literally

26:45

just said this thing that not only delights

26:47

you in terms of the food, but the memory

26:49

of it with your grandparents and the mountains in Spain,

26:52

This beautiful image.

26:53

And it wasn't even them they were horrible

26:55

people.

26:56

It was just they

26:58

were You know, what I'm learning about

27:01

you is that you, more than maybe

27:03

anyone I've ever met, you can create

27:06

the most beautiful image, and then

27:08

it's almost that you can't help but dows

27:11

it with the most awful bias.

27:15

You have to talk to James.

27:16

You're so incredibly articulate,

27:19

and you create these images that are so beautiful,

27:22

but then it's almost like you can't just allow it to

27:24

be. You have to dowse it with something

27:26

painful.

27:27

It's with the truth. It was just a happy

27:29

time in my life, right, It was a happy

27:32

time in my life. I loved living in Spain.

27:34

It was a simple existence. It

27:36

was sunshine and sandy beaches,

27:39

and I didn't know anything about politics

27:41

or you know, sexual violence,

27:43

or I had no self consciousness. I thought

27:45

having a big belly was the most extraordinary

27:48

thing on earth, Like I would push it out

27:50

as much as possible. Like it was just such

27:53

a pure time. And that taste

27:56

immediately takes me back to

27:58

that pure mindset of I

28:01

have no problems, and life is beach.

28:03

It's pristian, it's lovely.

28:05

Yeah, life is Beach.

28:06

Life is chop.

28:07

Yeah, Life is Beach and Chops and Chips.

28:11

Mini Questions is hosted and written

28:13

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28:16

produced by Me and Aaron Kaufman,

28:18

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