0:01

Hey there , curious minds and self improvement

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dabblers . Welcome to me , myself

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and my best self . The podcast where we

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casually navigate the maze of personal

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growth without the hype . No

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promises of overnight transformations

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or grand life revelations here , just

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real talk , relatable stories and a

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few laughs as we figure out this whole

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becoming our best selves thing . I'm

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Claire Bennett , your guide through the maze of

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life's quirks and challenges . Let's

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wonder through it together . No pressure

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, no perfection , just a touch of curiosity

0:32

. So welcome

0:35

back . Episode two is here and

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I've decided to embrace my nerdiness

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this week by diving into some psychology

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theories of well-being . Don't

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worry , I'll keep it light but informative

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. So in the vast world

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of well-being , two main theories

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take the spotlight hedonic

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and eudaimonic . It's

0:56

like a dance between chasing pleasure

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hedonic and searching for meaning

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eudaimonic . Let's

1:03

talk about them in a way that won't put you to sleep

1:05

, I promise . So

1:07

hedonic well-being is

1:09

known as the pursuit of happiness

1:11

, chasing those moments that bring instant

1:14

joy and gratification . On

1:16

the flip side , eudaimonic well-being

1:19

is about finding fulfillment through deeper

1:21

connections to values and virtues

1:23

. Okay , so let's

1:25

start with eudaimonic well-being . Achieving

1:28

eudaimonia , or human flourishing

1:31

, involves living and virtuous and

1:35

meaningful life . It was first suggested by the philosopher

1:38

Aristotle . This

1:40

theory is one that is not as well understood

1:43

, but I like to look at this

1:45

one as your guiding principles to life

1:47

. It's a long-term strategy

1:49

and you're not necessarily going to see

1:51

instant results , but over time

1:53

it will definitely reap the benefits . Pursuing

1:57

eudaimonic well-being involves living a

1:59

life that is virtuous , meaning morally

2:02

good , and involve characteristics such

2:04

as courage , wisdom , justice , temperance

2:07

and compassion . Now

2:09

, virtuous , obviously

2:12

there's different characteristics depending

2:14

on different religions

2:16

, different cultures , but this

2:19

one is about understanding your own virtues

2:22

and living by them . It also

2:24

involves getting to know yourself , so

2:26

your strengths , your weaknesses , your values

2:28

, your passions , and this

2:30

self-reflection needs to be a journey

2:33

of continuous learning . So

2:35

, like anything , we change

2:37

with time , we change with experience , we

2:39

change with context . So it's about really

2:42

getting to know who you are in

2:44

every situation , the good and the bad

2:48

Goal , time again , not

2:51

just any goals , though . These are the big

2:53

, meaningful ones that make your heart

2:55

do a happy dance , and it's

2:57

about identifying them , committing to

2:59

them and chasing them like you're trying to pursue

3:01

your favourite snack

3:03

. You also need to

3:05

invest in positive connections and relationships

3:08

, like you're building a dream

3:10

team for life's world ride . These

3:12

are the relationships that are built on trust , honesty

3:15

, mutual commitment . But

3:18

also there's actually been some

3:20

more research

3:23

out lately about relationships

3:26

and how you can beat loneliness

3:28

, and one of those things is

3:30

that it's not just about having

3:32

social interactions but it's about having

3:34

those positive

3:38

social interactions and

3:40

an ongoing basis

3:43

and on a daily basis . Also

3:47

, live mindfully , regularly checking

3:50

to your actions , your motivations

3:53

and reactions . It's

3:55

like having a built-in compass that keeps

3:57

you heading in the right direction . So

4:00

I'm noticing when you react

4:03

to certain things . For

4:05

me I did

4:07

this at the beginning of the year I used to hate

4:10

it when you're

4:12

driving along and you pull over to let

4:14

someone pass and they don't say thank

4:16

you . It used to drive me insane

4:19

and then I realized

4:21

actually this is my

4:23

problem , not necessarily theirs

4:25

, but it's

4:27

made driving a little bit better for me because

4:29

I'm not angry

4:32

every time someone doesn't say thank you and I do

4:34

a nice thing Also

4:37

. Reason . The

4:39

next one is reason and critical thinking

4:41

are your sidekick . So make choices

4:44

that make sense and align

4:46

with your values and your long-term

4:48

goals . One

4:51

of my favorites never stop the curiosity

4:53

train . So

4:56

keep learning , keep reflecting

4:58

and I'm locking deeper insights into

5:00

yourself and the

5:03

world and embrace

5:05

challenges . Yes , bring them on . View

5:07

those hurdles as opportunities to flex

5:10

your super well-being muscles . Overcoming

5:12

difficulties is like discovering your own

5:14

superpowers , and

5:16

it builds resilience . Without challenges

5:19

, we don't become resilient . So

5:23

that's eutomonic well-being

5:25

. So now

5:27

let's move on to hedonic well-being . Now

5:30

, this is often seen as the fun one , the

5:32

one that most of us seek

5:34

. Living hedonically involves

5:36

seeking pleasure , maximizing positive experiences

5:39

and avoiding pain . Now

5:43

, a hedonic well-being does get

5:45

a bad rap and is the pursuit

5:47

that can lead to too much of a good thing

5:50

. You also have the concept of the

5:52

hedonic treadmill . This

5:54

is when , in general , people

5:56

have a baseline of happiness and

5:59

that they return to this baseline

6:01

no matter what happens in their life . So

6:03

, for example , you buy a new car , you

6:05

eat a delicious meal or you get

6:07

that promotion , or even you win the lottery

6:10

. The novelty soon wears off and

6:12

people return to that typical

6:14

level of happiness , and this has been

6:16

shown time and time again . So

6:19

if we

6:21

all have a typical level of happiness or well-being

6:24

, then what is the point of pursuing something

6:26

when we are likely to fall back to our

6:28

norm ? But there is some good news . According

6:30

to research , 40% of our happiness

6:33

is within our control . Now

6:35

, that 40%

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differs in terms of what

6:40

you look at , but it's around 40%

6:42

. 50% is to

6:44

do with your basically

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your genetics , and

6:49

10% of it is about your context

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, so where you were born , where

6:54

you live , who your

6:56

parents are . But

6:58

40% is still a big number

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to be able to have within your control

7:02

. And if we just

7:05

let a hadonic life , although

7:07

it could be fun , it does

7:09

have its pitfalls . So constant pursuit

7:11

of pleasure without balance can

7:13

result in burnout or lead

7:16

to addictive behaviors , whether substance

7:18

related or otherwise , and

7:20

this impacts both physical and mental

7:22

health . It

7:24

may foster fleeting relationships

7:27

. So focusing on immediate enjoyment

7:29

rather those deeper connections . So , as said before

7:31

, the research does show that it's

7:34

not just about having lots of

7:36

social interactions , it's about having

7:38

those interactions that

7:40

are meaningful . Overspending

7:43

on immediate gratifications may

7:45

have long-term financial repercussions and

7:48

could cause stress . Hey look , we've

7:50

all done it gone out , bought that dress

7:52

, need the shoes , need the handbag . But

7:54

that gratification only lasts

7:56

for so long . Hadonic

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pleasures may offer temporary satisfaction

8:01

but often lack deeper fulfillment and

8:03

purpose , and this could result

8:05

in mood fluctuations based on external

8:07

factors . On

8:11

the flip side , living a wholly

8:14

eudaimonic life while fulfilling

8:16

comes with its own set of challenges

8:18

, so it might lead to

8:20

rigidity . Staying true to

8:22

your values and chasing long-term goals

8:24

might make you a bit too structured . Occasional

8:28

FOMO . Making choices for

8:30

the greater good can leave you yearning for immediate

8:32

joy and that feeling of missing

8:34

out , and it can also put

8:37

a restraining on relationships . So it's all about

8:39

finding that balance to

8:41

personal aspirations and growth

8:44

and being the friend and partner or family

8:46

member and you want

8:48

, all you're meant to be . So

8:52

, when

8:54

you look at this , there's eutomonic and hedonic

8:57

and there's good and bad on both

8:59

. So what's the magic formula

9:02

? Well , it is

9:04

all about balance and

9:06

here are some suggestions . So identify

9:10

those pleasurable activities , reflect

9:13

on what brings you joy and

9:15

make time for those activities . So

9:18

always that delay

9:20

in gratification is not always a good

9:22

thing . You need to be able to just go and

9:24

have some fun , let your hair down and

9:27

prioritize

9:29

self-care . So take care of

9:31

your physical and mental wellbeing

9:34

and see

9:36

that as a positive

9:38

activity . So find something you

9:40

love to do that

9:43

helps your physical or your mental wellbeing

9:46

. Build

9:48

positive relationships , cultivate meaningful

9:50

connections with others , indulge

9:54

in enjoyable experiences . Let

9:58

yourself enjoy them . So

10:00

be mindful , practice

10:02

being fully engaged and enjoy

10:04

the activities . So if you're gonna

10:07

have that lovely three-course

10:09

meal , then enjoy every single bite

10:11

and let yourself enjoy

10:13

it without feeling guilty the day after

10:16

because your goal is to

10:18

lose weight

10:20

or this and the other . Enjoy it guilt-free

10:23

. Balance hedonism

10:26

with responsibility . So balance

10:28

the two . Enjoy in the moment

10:31

, but keep long-term goals in mind . So

10:34

, for example , if you're gonna go

10:36

have

10:39

a day off from chasing

10:42

your goals or have two days off , have

10:44

a week off , but come back

10:46

to it as regenerated

10:48

and feeling like you can then carry

10:50

on . Cultivate positive

10:52

emotions . Focus on gratitude , joy

10:55

and contempt . Gratitude

10:58

is one that gets lots

11:00

of good rap . Think about

11:02

what you're thankful for every day

11:04

. Avoid excessive

11:07

behavior . So moderation

11:09

is a key to a healthy lifestyle

11:11

. Incorporate

11:13

playfulness . Remember when

11:15

you're a kid . You just use to giggle at the funniest

11:18

things . If you go back , think what

11:20

you used to enjoy as a kid and

11:23

maybe start to add those things

11:25

into your life . Dance around the kitchen to

11:27

your favorite music or infuse

11:30

some playfulness into your daily life and

11:33

celebrate achievements . Acknowledge

11:35

and celebrate your successes . So

11:37

, as you're going through these

11:39

like I think I mentioned this

11:41

last week but as you're setting goals and going

11:43

through them , celebrate

11:46

the small wins . It's not all

11:48

about that big destination and

11:52

people , especially

11:54

now . At the moment , everyone keeps talking

11:57

about having a more balanced life

11:59

. They

12:02

want to feel more balanced

12:05

in their home and their work and all

12:07

of this . And I really think they're

12:09

referring a balance between this hedonic

12:12

and new demonic , rather than

12:14

a balance between life and work and

12:16

family and all

12:19

of those other things money . I

12:21

actually think that hedonic and

12:23

new demonic when you kind of get that

12:25

balance right , then

12:29

you are living , then

12:31

sorry , you're having a balance

12:33

of both pursuits of well-being that can result

12:35

in a life well-lived

12:38

. I'm not sure a

12:40

50-50 balance of

12:42

hedonic and new demonic is probably

12:44

right for me . Maybe in my 20s

12:47

a 50-50 split might have been

12:49

about right and maybe it was more hedonic

12:51

than new demonic . But for me now

12:54

I think an 80s 20 split

12:57

new demonic being the 80 is

12:59

a really good balance for me . And

13:02

people think , oh , 80-20

13:04

, but that's in a week

13:06

that's kind of a

13:09

whole day to be hedonic and

13:11

the rest new demonic . But it's

13:14

about , I think , mixing

13:16

it up . So having that dessert

13:18

with that dinner , having

13:22

that hour

13:24

to myself for self-care every

13:26

day , so

13:29

yeah , I think it's about that , I think this

13:31

when people talk about balanced life , it's

13:33

about getting this balance right , and

13:35

it's going to be a

13:37

different balance for everyone at

13:40

different times of your life . Like

13:44

I'll be honest , this weekend I probably enjoyed

13:46

a more hedonic experience . I

13:49

went away for the weekend to Brighton . For

13:51

those of you that don't know Brighton , it's a great

13:53

place to have a good time . To put

13:55

it in context , it is a firm favourite

13:57

with Henan Stagtoos . Although there weren't

14:00

too many there in November . I

14:02

probably no , not probably

14:04

I definitely ate and drank too

14:06

much , danced till my

14:08

feet hurt and definitely

14:11

slept to too little , but it

14:14

still had elements of eudaimonic wellbeing

14:16

. Well , I'm going to try and

14:18

infuse them . But I travelled

14:21

with two of my best friends . We've been friends

14:23

for over 30 years and spending

14:25

time with them is always meaningful . I was

14:28

also mindful and present . I enjoyed

14:30

every moment , and

14:32

I think that I enjoyed it more because I don't

14:34

get to do it every weekend , so I savoured

14:36

the experience . Definitely , in

14:38

my 20s , when I was out four

14:41

days out of seven , I

14:43

probably didn't enjoy it

14:45

as much as having that one

14:47

weekend every few months to go away , and

14:50

I'm so grateful for the weekend experience

14:52

, despite

14:55

the slight hangover . But

14:59

great weekend , and

15:01

now it's probably back to taking

15:04

care of my body , because it definitely takes

15:06

me longer to get over them . But

15:08

on that note , my fellow wanderers , it

15:11

brings us to the end of episode two . We've

15:14

demystified the dance between hedonic

15:16

and eudaimonic wellbeing , discovering the joys

15:18

and pitfalls of each . Whether

15:20

you're grooving to the thrill of pleasure

15:23

or walks into the depth of meaning , the magic

15:25

lies in finding your

15:27

balance . So

15:30

here's the golden ticket Identify

15:32

what brings you joy , prioritise

15:34

self-care , build positive connections

15:37

and embrace the joyful moments

15:39

. Blend hedonism with responsibility

15:42

, infuse playfulness and

15:44

celebrate your victories , big or small

15:46

. Life is a dance and your

15:48

rhythm is uniquely yours . Now

15:51

I'd love to hear from you what topics do you

15:53

want us to explore in the future episodes

15:55

? Do you have any personal stories

15:57

or experiences you'd like to share on the

15:59

podcast ? Whether it's a success

16:02

story , a learning moment or just a

16:04

funny anecdote , I'm all ears

16:06

. You can connect with me on Instagram

16:08

and Facebook at ClaireFallLiving

16:11

, or send me an email at hello

16:14

at ClaireBennettcom . Don't

16:16

be shy . Let's make this a two-way conversation

16:19

. After all , we're on this journey of self-discovery

16:22

together . As

16:24

we wrap up , remember it's not about

16:26

perfection , it's about the journey . Keep

16:29

wandering , stay curious

16:31

and until next time , this is Claire

16:34

Bennett singing off , signing

16:36

off from me myself and my best self

16:38

. Happy exploring .