0:03

Welcome to the Masterstroke podcast

0:05

with Monica Enid and Sejal Pietrzak

0:08

. Excuse me , hi

0:10

, I'm Reina Pietrzak . I'm Sejal Pietrzak's

0:12

daughter .

0:13

Hi , and I'm Marisa Natarajan the daughter of

0:15

host Monica Enid , and the daughters

0:17

are taking over the mic for this special

0:19

Masterstroke . Mother's Day Get to Know Our Moms episode

0:22

.

0:25

Masterstroke Mother's Day , get to Know Our Moms episode

0:28

. So

0:32

I wanted to start off with thinking about parallels . I know our moms are always looking at parallels

0:34

and , marissa , I realized you're the youngest in your family , like your mom

0:36

wasn't hers , and I'm the oldest in mine , like my mom

0:38

is .

0:39

I know , and we both have a brother , mine's

0:41

older and Reina , you have a little brother . How

0:44

is that ?

0:45

I absolutely love him . He's my best friend . It's

0:47

so funny . Everyone is always so surprised

0:50

and almost weirded out that he and I have never fought

0:52

. But I think it's . My mom has always really

0:54

talked about making sure we communicate

0:57

through all of our issues so we're never actually just yelling

0:59

at each other .

1:01

That is so funny . I feel like the

1:03

day has not gone by if my brother and I have

1:05

not fought , but always in a fun

1:07

way , always in a fun way . And then , Reina

1:10

, I heard you just finished your freshman year at Penn

1:12

. I know when my mom moved me

1:15

into college I saw her like for the

1:17

first time as a person and not just my mom

1:19

. How was that for you ?

1:20

I feel the exact same way . I feel like being away

1:22

from home . I've made even more

1:25

of an effort to talk with her and ask for her

1:27

advice and just spend as much

1:29

quality time as I can with her . It's

1:31

just really been a great experience

1:33

to get even closer to her . I'll give a little funny story

1:36

about my mom . When she

1:38

moved me into college , there was this one

1:40

dinner that we went to when we came to Penn

1:42

and we still had another day and

1:44

a half together and she just started bawling

1:47

her eyes out at dinner and I was so concerned that something

1:49

bad had happened , or maybe she really hated

1:51

the food or something . But in

1:53

reality she just had realized

1:55

that her oldest kid was

1:58

finally going off to college and that she wasn't

2:00

going to get to see me all the time . My mom might

2:02

be such a business badass , but in reality

2:04

she is like the softest , most

2:06

tenderhearted person I've ever met , in

2:09

the best way . That's so sweet

2:11

, and I know that you just

2:14

got moved into a new apartment and you just graduated

2:16

from Dartmouth .

2:19

Tell me a little bit about that . Yeah

2:25

, definitely . I graduated last June and now I've entered the real world and started

2:27

being an adult , which is crazy and very scary . But I've definitely had my mom supporting

2:29

me throughout the way . When I was

2:31

at home I asked her to drive me two

2:33

hours to Ikea to pick out furniture

2:35

for my apartment and actually she

2:37

said she would drive me but only if I

2:39

listened to every episode of the Masterstroke

2:42

podcast before it came out . So

2:44

we , like binge , listened to it for two

2:46

hours on the way to Ikea and two hours

2:48

on the way back , and it was just crazy

2:50

to hear all of my mom's like advice

2:53

that I've heard throughout all my life condensed

2:55

into , you know , a couple hours

2:58

. As I'm like moving my first

3:00

big girl apartment , it was surreal

3:02

.

3:03

I absolutely love that because I know my mom

3:05

would have had me do the exact

3:07

same thing I've been so excitedly

3:09

like looking out for them to be dropped

3:12

each week , and I have enjoyed

3:14

hearing it too , because I feel like our

3:16

moms are treating everybody who listened to

3:18

the podcast like their own kids , who are

3:20

growing up , going out into the workforce , going into

3:22

school , looking for jobs , finding

3:24

mentors . There's just so many different things

3:27

that a lot of people's parents can't

3:29

fully explain the gravity

3:31

of or the best way to do it . So I'm

3:33

really thankful that our moms are able to do that for

3:35

us and for everybody .

3:36

So true , I feel like when

3:39

I listen to the podcast , I'm hearing everything my

3:41

mom told me throughout my life , and then I'm also

3:43

probably hearing everything your mom told you

3:45

throughout your life , so I get

3:47

to hear all that advice as well , which

3:49

is super fun .

3:50

Absolutely , and it's funny like it shows

3:53

how much my mom has already been impacting

3:56

other people . My roommate and I know my

3:58

mom talks about this in one of the earlier episodes

4:00

. My roommate literally asked my mom

4:02

for resume help and how she

4:04

could best communicate with people about

4:07

the things that she's done , and I

4:09

think Sophia , my roommate , got the idea

4:11

from the podcast . Initially

4:13

she wanted to hear my

4:16

mom's opinion and was reaching out and treating

4:18

my mom like a mentor , which I thought was really cool . Was

4:21

your mom ever helping any of your friends as

4:23

well ?

4:24

All the time my mom in

4:26

my high school my mom was like the queen

4:29

of startups . So everyone who wanted to

4:31

work in startups which there's a lot

4:33

in Portland all like called my mom

4:35

regularly . She was definitely a mentor

4:37

to a lot of young people and

4:40

then has been continuing to help my friends

4:42

all throughout college , which has been super great

4:44

, especially since she knows all

4:46

the characters . I call her every day to tell her about

4:49

what friends said this and who's

4:51

going to this party and everything like

4:53

that , so she knows everything .

4:56

Absolutely , I'd say . My mom knows has

4:58

known progressively more and more about

5:00

my life as college has gone on and

5:03

it's been really cool to be able to connect

5:05

with her . When

5:07

I think back to you saying

5:10

that you're finally seeing her

5:12

as like a real person , can you go into that a little bit

5:14

more ?

5:15

Yeah , definitely . I think it's like

5:17

you in

5:19

high school you're so focused on yourself and then

5:21

you know your mom is just there to help you . But I think

5:23

when you start to kind of do things on

5:25

your own , you can see how how

5:27

your mom also like went through that path

5:30

. And , especially as I'm starting

5:32

my job , I think I'm learning

5:34

so much more about my mom through working

5:36

and through , you know , telling

5:39

her about how things are going at my work , asking

5:41

her about how she would handle certain situations

5:43

, asking her about , you know , things that

5:45

my managers do and would she

5:47

do the same thing ? So I'm definitely learning a

5:50

lot about her management style as well . You

5:52

know , outside the home .

5:53

Oh , that's wonderful . I'm really excited for that

5:56

aspect . But I do know that

5:58

I'm going to have like my first internship

6:00

this summer and I know she's going to be really helping me internship

6:03

this summer , and I know she's going to

6:05

be really helping me

6:08

. Hey , I think the moms are at the door . Should we let ?

6:10

them in . Let's do it , hi girls

6:12

, hello girls .

6:20

How are you ? I'm doing great , hi moms , happy to be here , all right , well

6:23

, so do you guys have some questions ?

6:24

for us . Is that how that's going to work ? Yeah , so I graduated

6:26

last year and something I've been

6:28

thinking about a lot is that in high

6:30

school and in college , the path

6:33

that you're supposed to follow is very clear and

6:35

there's somebody telling you what to do . Or you

6:38

like science , so take a science class . So

6:40

the path is very mapped out for you and

6:42

I think that once you graduate , you

6:45

are suddenly realize that you are the

6:47

person who's in charge of mapping out the path

6:49

. Um , so I was wondering

6:51

question for the moms like when you first

6:53

graduated , how did you go about

6:56

like finding your career

6:58

path and finding purpose in your career

7:00

, and how did you know that ? How'd you know

7:02

when you were on the right track ?

7:04

That's a really good question

7:06

. I think for me in

7:09

the early days I kind of did

7:12

, like you said um , what I thought

7:14

people thought I should do . To

7:16

be honest , that people thought Intel

7:19

at the time in the early 90s , for an engineer

7:21

, intel was a great company building new

7:24

and exciting technology , and

7:26

so when I got a job offer , everybody said

7:28

that's a great company to go to . So I did , I

7:30

didn't think much about it and , honestly

7:32

, in the first few years of my career

7:35

, the first seven years of my career , the first seven years of my career , I

7:37

pretty much just thought about the

7:39

next promotion and didn't really

7:41

think about how I

7:43

didn't . You know ? I think you've said things

7:45

like how did I find purpose ? I don't think I found

7:48

any purpose . I think I just felt

7:50

like I needed to keep performing

7:52

well and moving up the corporate ladder

7:54

, so to speak . It wasn't

7:56

, honestly , until I had children

7:59

and realized I wasn't going to just

8:01

keep continuing with climbing the corporate ladder

8:03

that I had to think hard about

8:05

for the first time , about what

8:07

I was going to do and what

8:09

was going to work in my life , and so

8:11

that kind

8:14

of forced me to think about it , and it forced

8:16

me to think about what I liked and what I didn't like

8:18

and how I was going to build the

8:20

rest of my life . And it wasn't until much

8:22

later in life that I felt like I had purpose

8:24

in my career

8:27

and that I really thought hard about

8:29

having my own personal

8:31

North Star and my personal

8:33

purpose and meaning

8:36

to my career .

8:37

To piggyback off that . I was

8:39

going to ask if being a mom really

8:41

shaped your career or how did it . How did it change

8:43

it significantly ?

8:45

Well , for me it really did significantly change

8:47

it , because being a mom and staying

8:49

in my , in my , the job that I had

8:51

became really hard . I had to

8:53

. The

8:57

job that I had became really hard . I had to and I wanted to . But I also had to make

9:00

a different path . I stayed at home for a few years when Marissa

9:02

was born she's my second child and

9:04

I stayed at home for four years

9:06

and actually went to school

9:08

at night . But when

9:11

I realized I wanted to go back to

9:13

work , I really had to think hard and

9:15

be very intentional about what did I want

9:17

for my career , and I

9:19

also feel like it also

9:22

made me be really efficient , which was

9:24

a good learning , because I couldn't . You

9:26

know , I think when you're , when you have a lot of time

9:28

, you can kind of spend

9:30

a lot of time . We have an episode where

9:33

we talk about , you know , the task grows to

9:35

the time allotted and I

9:37

think I learned a lot about being

9:39

very efficient and getting stuff done after

9:42

being a parent .

9:43

That's great to know , Because I always I think about that really

9:45

often because I have a plan to have a family

9:47

pretty far down the line . But I

9:50

really do always wonder how that will affect

9:52

my professional career

9:54

, because a lot of people say that you can't have a professional

9:57

career and have a successful family

9:59

.

9:59

But clearly you guys have done otherwise

10:01

yeah , it's not easy and there are definitely

10:04

sacrifices that you make on both sides . But

10:06

I think , uh , you know , for both , all parents

10:08

, all parents , I think

10:10

, have to make some sacrifices on both sides

10:12

. You have to kind of give up on the idea of

10:14

it being perfect . But I think , uh

10:17

, even if you try to be perfect , you're not going

10:19

to be perfect anyway .

10:21

Yeah , I would agree with that , monica . You

10:23

know , you've , you've got to make sure you're

10:25

not just trying to be perfect all the time . Um

10:27

, marissa's original question . So let me

10:29

, let me go back to that . Um

10:35

, you know , you know you asked a question , marisa around . You know , when do you

10:38

find passion and I think , or when do you find , you know

10:40

that you're doing something that really

10:42

you're passionate about or

10:44

that gives you purpose ? And

10:47

I think

10:49

that when I first graduated

10:51

from college , I didn't have a job

10:53

after I graduated . I

10:56

had a couple of opportunities that

10:58

I reached out to and was

11:00

able to get when I had done an internship

11:02

earlier and was able to get a

11:04

job from following up

11:06

on that internship . But what I ended up doing

11:09

was finding a role

11:11

at the US Chamber of Commerce in

11:14

the international division , and I had

11:16

studied international relations undergrad

11:18

and , even though I gave

11:20

up on doing

11:22

the corporate jobs at

11:24

big companies , this was

11:27

something that paid half the amount

11:29

, but I was passionate about

11:31

it . I felt excited about

11:33

working in the international

11:35

division and particularly with South Asia

11:38

, with companies that were

11:40

investing in South Asia , which is

11:42

what I was doing at the US Chamber of Commerce . For

11:44

some reason I felt that this

11:47

was the right thing and that I could give

11:49

back , and I

11:51

didn't . One thing I would say

11:53

and you know it was tough

11:55

, but you know I

11:57

did it which is , you know

11:59

, I didn't look at the job that gave me the

12:02

most money and I didn't come from

12:04

a family where we had lots of money . I wasn't

12:06

being supported by my parents

12:08

in terms of financially . I graduated

12:10

from college . I was on my own

12:13

, but I did the job that I

12:15

wanted to do , that I felt I could

12:17

make the most impact . It was

12:19

a small group within a larger organization

12:22

and it was something that I really cared

12:24

about and was interested in . And

12:26

I've always given

12:29

advice to people around don't

12:31

take the job that currently

12:34

gives you the most money . That's not necessarily

12:37

the right one . Get , take

12:39

the job that you feel you're going to learn

12:41

the most , that you feel you can

12:43

make tangible

12:46

value , um and impact

12:48

, and that you're going to you're

12:51

going to enjoy . And . And so

12:53

I never I never really

12:55

looked at what is the salary and

12:57

compared those at any stage in my

12:59

career . I think that was the

13:01

right decision for me anyway , because

13:04

eventually , if you love the job

13:06

you're doing and you don't think of it as a

13:08

job and you enjoy it as just

13:11

every day , then you end up doing a really

13:13

great job and you continue to get promoted as just

13:15

every day .

13:15

Then you end up doing a really great job and you continue to

13:17

get promoted . That's

13:19

something I agree with Sejal . This is Monica , and I learned that too . It's the experience and the

13:21

learning . It's not something anybody can ever take away from

13:24

you . But jobs come and go , salaries

13:26

come and go , titles come and go

13:28

None of that stuff

13:30

is lasting and it's not yours . It's

13:33

given to you and it can be taken from you . But

13:35

you , what you learn in your experience

13:38

, that's yours forever and

13:40

no one can take it away from you .

13:42

Absolutely 100% agree .

14:01

Speaking of experiences , what is one thing that you regret not doing , or learning ? I feel like I'm always

14:03

doing my best to continue learning and putting myself out there , but sometimes

14:05

I feel like there's definitely missed opportunities

14:07

. So I'm really curious to see , as

14:09

you've gone so far in your careers , if there's

14:11

anything that you regret .

14:13

I don't believe in regrets . Uh , essentially

14:16

, I I look and say everything's

14:18

a lesson learned . Um , you

14:20

know , if , if there's something you , you have to choose a path

14:22

one way or another . Um

14:24

, but is there something that I

14:27

love learning about

14:29

, and it is about

14:31

medicine and about health

14:33

and about the human

14:35

body and how we react

14:38

to aging

14:40

, how we react to when we're sick

14:42

, what medicines help us . I mean

14:44

, you know , you can't be everything

14:47

, and I knew from a young age

14:49

that I was hoping to get

14:51

into , you know , wanted to be in business and didn't

14:54

necessarily want to be a doctor . I

14:56

I look at it now and say , Hmm , I

14:59

would love to learn about medicine

15:01

. You know , if I could have a second career

15:03

, um , it would be to learn

15:06

about medicine . What about

15:08

you , Monica ?

15:09

Well , I , just in the last

15:11

year , have started taking my very first piano

15:13

lessons . Um , just

15:17

in the last year have started taking my very first piano lessons . In my whole

15:19

life I've always wanted to learn music and you know , I think if I were

15:21

to go back and say like one

15:23

thing , I would do differently . I don't believe in regret . I agree

15:26

with Sejal . You can't really believe in regret because

15:28

if you do regret something and you change

15:30

it , you don't know what else would change in your

15:32

life . And so you know your journey

15:34

was your journey and I can't

15:37

say I'm unhappy with any of it . But

15:39

if I could go back

15:41

, I probably would have like

15:43

learned something in the arts for

15:46

me music , because

15:48

I was really focused on career and

15:50

being an engineer and and

15:52

just focused on what I

15:54

needed to do to make that happen . But

15:57

I think there's a lot of joy to

16:01

exploring artistic and creative

16:03

endeavors . So I'm excited to be learning

16:05

piano now .

16:07

That's so cool , monica . How

16:10

do you find it after just a year of lessons and playing Hard ? It's

16:12

hard , and I'm after just a year of lessons and playing .

16:15

Hard . It's hard and I'm still

16:17

just a beginner and I do think I

16:19

would have learned faster if I obviously

16:21

learned younger . But because I watched

16:23

Marissa and Neil , my son

16:25

, learn music and saw

16:28

that they learned it much faster . But

16:31

I'm really having fun with it . It's a blast

16:34

.

16:34

That's so cool . What about you , uh

16:43

, marissa , is there something that you want to learn how to do now ? I mean , there's so much

16:45

ahead of you that you're going to be learning , but is there anything , um , that you're like ? You know

16:47

what I want to do this ?

16:48

Yeah , I think I want to learn everything right

16:51

now . I like even

16:53

I mean even choosing jobs . Choosing jobs

16:55

, it was like , oh , I could do this , I could do

16:57

this . It's like I just feel like I'm

16:59

I've always felt like I'm the kind of

17:01

person I can get excited about anything

17:04

. So I really I want to learn anything

17:06

, but I think , in terms of like , maybe

17:08

outside my career , I

17:10

also would like to become

17:12

, I think think more artistic

17:15

and I think I'd like I think it's as

17:17

I'm like working this job and kind

17:19

of getting used to my lifestyle . I think

17:22

it's important to feel like you're

17:24

creating something or

17:26

doing something important outside of the

17:28

job as well , which

17:30

is like something I felt like I had

17:33

all throughout school , because I sing

17:35

a lot , I do a lot of like theater , and

17:43

so I always felt like , when you know , my identity wasn't just school and I had like other

17:45

things that I was passionate about , and I

17:47

think it's harder to do as an adult

17:49

, you know , to like find to be

17:51

passionate about your hobbies . It's not as facilitated

17:54

for you . So I think that's something I've

17:56

been I've been thinking about is like , how can I

17:58

do the things I'm passionate about that are

18:00

not career related and how can I like build

18:02

my life outside of work , beyond

18:04

, just like , you know , social life and

18:06

things like that , but like really you

18:08

know , create like new complexities

18:11

to my identity ? So

18:13

that's also a question I would , I would ask you

18:15

guys is , like , how do you like

18:18

feel like you have , you

18:20

know , hobbies , and how do you kind

18:22

of you know , when you have those

18:24

like outside interests I mean , I know

18:26

my mom just started taking piano lessons , you

18:28

know , after she sold her company so like

18:30

while while you were working

18:33

, like how did you make sure that you were , I

18:35

don't know , fulfilling yourself creatively

18:38

as well ?

18:39

You know , I don't , at least for me . This is Sejal

18:41

. I don't know that I did as much

18:43

of that , and

18:45

it's hard to

18:48

find the time because you prioritize

18:50

your time . If I had a moment free

18:52

, I wanted to be spending it with my family . What

18:55

you're doing , marisa , is a great thing

18:57

to be able to think about being creative

18:59

while you have your job , because

19:02

we're finding some outlets and

19:04

finding different hobbies , because

19:07

it is actually great

19:09

to do . Otherwise , you can end up working

19:11

and working and working , um

19:13

, and it's good to find a little bit

19:15

of that downtime , uh

19:18

, to be able to , you know , get

19:21

some perspective . I know that

19:23

, um , raina loves to paint and

19:25

draw and she's an incredibly talented

19:27

artist . I hope that , no matter what

19:29

you end up doing in your career , raina assuming

19:32

it's not related to art I don't know if it will be

19:34

but that you continue to do that

19:36

, because having that outlet

19:39

, I think , is a great stress reliever . It's also

19:42

something that gives you a

19:44

little bit more perspective in everything

19:46

you do .

19:47

I absolutely agree with that and I've been trying

19:49

to do a better job of that recently , especially

19:52

because I have Sundays off from track . I obviously

19:54

don't have classes on Sundays . I've been trying

19:56

to do my best to put an hour

19:58

aside of my time just to paint

20:01

, write or draw , just to de-stress

20:03

and really make sure I'm keeping the creative

20:06

side of my brain going , Because it's such

20:08

a nice way to escape and to know sure I'm keeping the creative side of my brain going because it's such

20:10

a nice way to escape and to know that I can create

20:12

something . And I honestly would

20:14

love if my career

20:16

had something to do with art as well , but obviously

20:19

I am still very unsure where it

20:21

will end up going .

20:22

I think that's great , Raina . I mean

20:24

especially you juggling both your athletic

20:27

demands and your academic demands to

20:30

find time and carve it out . It's

20:32

, I mean , it's the richness of life

20:34

, and I think that those habits

20:37

that you build now are habits that

20:39

you'll have for your whole life . So I have a question

20:41

for you , Raina what is the

20:43

biggest lesson you feel like you've learned from

20:45

your mom ?

20:46

So I was actually about to say

20:48

something about this earlier , but for me

20:50

, I think the biggest lesson I've learned from my mom is

20:52

prioritization . I

20:54

saw how much she worked when

20:56

I was younger , but I always felt like

20:58

she was there whenever she

21:00

was so present . Whenever she was

21:02

at home , she would either make

21:04

us breakfast or we'd spend time with her after

21:06

dinner , and I really always took

21:09

so much away from that and knew that if

21:11

you prioritize your time right , you can do anything . A

21:13

little story that I learned about my mom recently

21:15

. I know she's mentioned that she's worked internationally

21:18

and sometimes she would go

21:20

on trips for two weeks at a time and

21:22

that would definitely be difficult , but

21:25

I found out that when she was on

21:27

those trips she was working until one

21:29

, two , three in the morning just trying

21:31

to get all the work out of the way . So as soon as she could

21:33

get home she would be spending

21:35

so much good quality time with us and

21:37

I value that and it shows the

21:39

power of prioritization and the

21:41

ability that my mom has , like the

21:44

things that my mom has done in order to make

21:46

sure she has a strong family and a great career

21:48

. So I would say that's probably

21:51

my main lesson that I learned from her . So

21:53

thanks , mom .

21:55

Absolutely yeah . And you know , I think

21:57

you find it's

21:59

it's about time

22:01

boxing . You know , finding every moment

22:03

you can to say , okay , if my priority

22:06

is um which it was , you

22:08

know , and still is to be with my family

22:11

, um , you know , after

22:13

a trip or after um a

22:15

full day of work or whatever it's

22:17

, it's about finding as much time

22:19

while you're away to be

22:21

able to get the work done . And we have an episode

22:24

on um time boxing that talks

22:26

a lot about that , and I think it's

22:28

a valuable thing to think about

22:31

. What would you say is the biggest lesson

22:33

you've learned from your mom ?

22:34

That's such a hard question because I feel like

22:36

I learned everything from my mom , but

22:38

I would say , in terms of , I

22:41

think what's helped me become

22:43

the person I am , I think my mom

22:45

is a doer . She

22:48

doesn't talk about the things that she wants to

22:50

do , she just does them , and like she doesn't

22:52

wait for someone to tell her that she can do it

22:54

, and so I think that that's

22:56

kind of the number one thing I've

22:58

taken from my mom is like she has

23:00

a lot of vision and

23:02

she's really , really skilled

23:05

at like executing and even like like

23:07

, even when it's not necessarily obviously

23:09

like I don't totally know how

23:12

she , you know , worked in her

23:14

career because I'm not there every day , but like

23:16

seeing her , you know , work with my family

23:18

, it's like , oh , our 30

23:20

person extended family is talking about

23:23

where to go for Christmas and my mom just

23:25

like finds the , the place we're gonna stay

23:27

, and looks at everyone's flights and and

23:29

she's just , she like knows

23:32

how to get things done , and I think that that's

23:34

like I mean , that's not like that's what keeps

23:36

the world turning right . We can all talk about

23:38

what we want to do as much as we want

23:40

, but until we can actually do it . It's like

23:42

nothing happens . So I think that that's kind of the

23:44

number one lesson I've taken from my

23:46

mom and like skill that I feel

23:49

proud of . That I think not

23:52

. Not everyone learns how to do

23:54

very quickly . Now

24:07

I have a quick question for the moms that also might

24:09

be applicable to Raina . I think , like

24:11

, especially when you're in college , there's so many things

24:14

to worry about . You know , like your grades

24:16

, what you're going to do after , what

24:18

you're going to do this summer , what you're going to

24:20

do tonight . You know like , um

24:22

, so is there something , some things in college

24:24

or when you were young that you worried a lot about

24:27

? That ? You you wish you hadn't spent

24:29

so much time worrying about .

24:30

As I look back , I

24:33

, I , I had this dream

24:35

, you know , as I said when I was 15 years old

24:37

that I want to be a CEO , and I , I had

24:39

this mentality and thought that

24:41

it's all linear , meaning you

24:43

have to take the first step and

24:46

then you immediately have to go to the next step

24:48

, then the next step , the next step . Not that I knew

24:50

what all the steps were exactly

24:52

, but I never

24:54

really allowed myself to veer

24:57

a ton off path and

25:00

I never took a break . I

25:02

literally went from one job to the next

25:05

, with maybe a weekend

25:07

day off , and that's about it . Um

25:09

, and , and I think as

25:12

I look back on

25:14

um life and career

25:16

, I think it's okay

25:18

to take a sidestep

25:20

or try something different , or

25:23

take a break in between

25:25

, um , two jobs

25:27

to be able to get perspective and think

25:30

about what you want most next

25:32

and actually

25:34

learn a little bit more about yourself

25:37

and not have to be so directly

25:40

. You know , I

25:43

think linear is the best

25:45

way that I can think of how to

25:47

describe it , and

25:49

that's something that I think I didn't necessarily

25:51

worry about it , but I always thought

25:53

that you have to be doing something

25:55

. You

25:58

know , I've always told Raina that if someday after college

26:00

she wants to be a

26:02

professional track athlete and aim

26:05

for the Olympics , go try

26:07

it , go do it . You

26:09

know , um . Now we're lucky

26:11

that you know I can support

26:14

her in that endeavor If , if so

26:16

, she desired to do that , um

26:19

. But who knows where life

26:21

will take you , and it doesn't have to

26:23

be that you have to graduate from college and

26:25

immediately get that job and then move to

26:27

the next job . Um could

26:29

take a different path , and I think that

26:31

you can eventually get there . It doesn't have to be

26:33

so direct and linear . What would

26:35

you say , monica ?

26:37

Oh , I completely agree . I

26:40

think I wish I hadn't worried so

26:42

much about the

26:44

expectations of other people and

26:46

what people thought . And that's

26:48

an easier thing . That's said and done . But I

26:51

think if you can find your own internal

26:53

compass , like your own internal North

26:56

Star and and guiding

26:59

values , then you can do

27:01

a little bit of that wandering and you can kind

27:03

of explore without worrying that

27:05

maybe you're not doing what people think you should be doing , or that what

27:07

people think is should be doing , or that what people

27:09

think is good to do , and getting

27:11

comfortable in my own skin . You know , I read a recent

27:14

article in the wall street journal , um

27:16

, and it said something about , you

27:18

know , meet the young professionals

27:21

that are not retired but they just

27:23

don't care about , they don't have anything

27:25

to prove . And yeah

27:28

, it's easy to sit here now and say that

27:30

, but

27:32

I wish I could have had just

27:34

a little bit of that more . You

27:37

know , not feeling that the pressure

27:39

to kind of prove something to someone else

27:41

and really just focus . And

27:44

, to be honest , I've learned a lot

27:46

of that from Marissa . Marissa , I

27:48

think you're very good at better than I

27:50

was at at knowing

27:52

that you have your own journey and your own path

27:54

and I don't know how you did it , but

27:56

you certainly seem to to

28:00

realize that there are multiple good

28:02

paths and lots of people

28:04

are happy in different ways , and that the key is

28:06

to find your own happiness . Lots of people are happy in different ways and

28:08

that the key is to find your own happiness , not what you know , not what other people

28:10

feel made

28:12

them happy , but what you feel

28:14

make you , makes you happy At some point

28:17

in time .

28:17

Isn't it amazing that we end up

28:19

learning from our

28:22

children and you

28:24

know , there's so many things , yeah , there's

28:26

so many things that I learned from Raina . And you know there's so many

28:28

things , yeah , there's so many things that I learned from Raina

28:31

. She's an

28:33

incredibly optimistic person and

28:36

always looks at the positives . It's

28:38

the best day ever , or

28:43

it was , you know even if things may not be great , like if you're injured , which she is right now for her ankle but she always looks

28:45

at the positive and I love that . Always

28:51

looks at the positive and I love that , and

28:54

you wonder .

28:54

Okay , you know , you can really learn from even our children . I think that

28:56

, yeah , I mean , I'm glad that we've taught you something

28:58

, but I really think that

29:01

, like everything , like like

29:03

you were saying , like being able to feel

29:05

comfortable in your own path and feel

29:08

confident that you know your

29:10

happiness is not someone else's happiness

29:12

and you know everyone is is

29:14

on their own journey I think that comes

29:16

from you know , your parents making the space

29:18

for you to feel that way , Right

29:21

, like you never told me I had to , like

29:23

be a computer scientist to be happy

29:25

. So then that lets me , you

29:27

know , explore other things that I might want to

29:29

do , and I think that really

29:32

, what that comes from is your parents telling

29:35

you that you can do anything you want , and then

29:37

suddenly you can do anything you want

29:39

, right . So I

29:41

think that that's , that's only something I

29:43

feel like I was raised with , and

29:46

it sounds like Raina was too . So that's that's

29:48

great .

29:48

I absolutely was , and I could not be more

29:50

grateful for it . So

29:53

, moms , you both have talked about

29:55

how you guys have learned stuff from us , which

29:57

I'm really thankful that I was able to teach you

29:59

something among all of the lessons that

30:01

you've taught me . But , mom , what is

30:03

the most important lesson that you think

30:05

that you've learned from Mimi , who is my grandmother

30:08

on my mom's side ?

30:10

It's a little bit

30:12

of a story , but you know

30:14

, I think ever since I was little , my

30:17

mom , who

30:19

was a stay at home mom , used

30:22

to tell me that

30:24

and this is the way she said

30:26

it but she would say , make sure

30:28

you're independent , make sure you have your own

30:30

money , make sure you go far in your

30:33

career . And she

30:35

never said what it had to be , what career

30:37

had to be . But I

30:40

find it really interesting because

30:42

she was incredibly

30:45

bright , even assertive

30:47

and aggressive , and so I , I , I

30:49

think I I internalized

30:51

the way she talked about being

30:55

independent , as an independent person

30:57

, and then , on the other

30:59

side , I also as

31:01

well , I also learned from her about

31:04

she was very assertive and

31:06

she always asked for what she wanted . You

31:09

know , if you went to a restaurant , she never

31:12

, you know , she didn't want food

31:14

a certain way , like she would suggest

31:16

to the chef . You

31:18

know , can you do it this way ? Or if she

31:20

went into , she was a great

31:22

negotiator too , and so I think

31:25

the things that there

31:27

are pieces of her

31:29

personality that I think

31:31

I got um and I

31:33

learned from her um about

31:36

not being shy , about , you know , being

31:38

assertive and things like that , and then

31:40

and then also , she used to always talk

31:42

about being independent and and then

31:44

having , you know , a career

31:46

that's your own , no matter what . What

31:49

about you , Monica ? What did you learn from your mom

31:51

?

31:51

Oh , my mom . I learned

31:53

a lot from my mom . I think , raina

31:56

, it's a good question . My

31:58

mom kind of is . I think if

32:00

you heard her speak you would think

32:02

she was traditional , believes

32:05

in gender roles , you know , said

32:07

a lot of things like girls do this , boys

32:09

do that Still to this day

32:11

, says those kinds of things . But when

32:13

you watch her actions it's

32:16

clear that she didn't always believe that

32:18

she was the one who started

32:20

her own business . Actually

32:23

, without my dad's support or consent

32:25

, she kind of blazed the trail

32:27

, learned from her friends who were running

32:29

a business , went and started

32:32

a business and made

32:34

it happen and kind of led the way and

32:37

told my dad how

32:39

she wanted to do it and what

32:41

she was going to do , and made it very successful and

32:43

he ended up being able to quit his job and

32:46

work with her in the business , which gave them a lot

32:48

of freedom and joy from

32:50

having their business . So I learned a lot

32:53

about , you know , going and blazing

32:55

a trail and not being scared . Even

32:57

though I think she wouldn't say those things . I

33:00

think that's what she did with her actions . What she did with her actions

33:02

.

33:08

Well , marissa , I have

33:10

a couple of rapid

33:12

fire questions to ask you , and

33:21

so , as I ask , just answer the first thing that comes to your mind and if you really want to like

33:23

elaborate on it , feel free . Would she , would Monica , would

33:25

your mom rather okay

33:28

? And so , for the first one , would your

33:30

mom rather skydive

33:33

or relax on a lazy river ?

33:35

Skydive .

33:37

Okay , would your mom rather would

33:41

your mom rather drink

33:43

coffee and tea or tequila

33:46

?

33:46

Tea . We're big tea people

33:49

.

33:50

Would your mom rather

33:52

go to a Taylor Swift concert or

33:54

an 80s rap concert ? 80s

33:58

rap concert Would

34:01

your ?

34:02

mom when she's mad . I can actually say all the words to Busta Muv right

34:04

now if you want to meet them

34:06

.

34:09

Yeah , so true , how much time do we

34:11

have on this podcast ?

34:12

All right . When Monica's mad , does she

34:14

yell or is she deadly silent ?

34:18

Oh , a little bit of both

34:20

, I think . All

34:26

right , I'm

34:28

not worried about when my mom's yelling .

34:29

I think I'm worried when she's silent . That's good , all right

34:31

. Would your mom rather

34:34

have lunch with Oprah or Dolly

34:36

Parton ?

34:38

Oh , that's hard , I

34:40

think . Maybe I

34:43

think Oprah , I

34:47

don't know that's a tricky one , but she loves

34:49

Dolly Parton she loves

34:51

Dolly Parton .

34:52

All right , Monica , tell us , why do you love

34:54

Dolly Parton ?

34:55

I love Dolly Parton . She's been for

34:57

decades an amazing artist . She's

35:03

written thousands of songs for other people and she's a very philanthropic person

35:05

. And she's a very philanthropic person and she's a quiet , philanthropic person

35:07

. She's done a lot

35:09

. She's put a lot of money into programs

35:12

giving books to children and

35:15

housing for underrepresented

35:17

and underprivileged communities

35:19

. She gave a million dollars

35:21

to the COVID vaccine development and

35:24

she is funny and stylish

35:26

and got her own style and I think

35:28

she's amazing .

35:30

Okay so I was wrong .

35:35

Awesome . I do love Dolly Parton .

35:37

All right , raina , your turn . I want to

35:39

hear and learn some more about Sejal from

35:41

your perspective . Tell me

35:43

, would she Sejal rather watch

35:46

a movie that was sci-fi or action

35:48

adventure ?

35:49

I think she would rather watch something that's action , adventure

35:52

, but nothing too violent or gory . She's definitely

35:54

much more of a comedy or rom-com kind of person

35:56

.

35:57

A rom-com kind of person . Okay , I would not

35:59

have guessed that . All

36:01

right , is she competitive or does

36:03

she let you win ?

36:04

Oh , she's so competitive . She literally played

36:06

every single sport that you could think of in high school

36:09

and every single time we play a family game

36:11

, she's always dying to win that

36:14

does sound like her .

36:15

For me the perspective , and

36:17

so all right . And when

36:19

she's at your track meets . We've heard a lot

36:21

. I know that many of her favorite memories

36:23

are being with you and watching

36:26

you run . Does she cheer for you in the

36:28

stands ? Is she loud and boisterous , or is she

36:30

quiet and intense ?

36:32

She's extremely loud . She's always been the

36:34

biggest proponent of me just having fun . So

36:36

she's screaming at me . Sometimes they're my

36:38

splits , sometimes it's just words of

36:40

encouragement that are funny , and

36:44

sometimes it's just telling me go , go . It's awesome . I always appreciate it because

36:47

she's the only voice that I hear when I'm running oh

36:49

, that's cool .

36:50

So all right , would she rather travel to space

36:53

or the bottom of the ocean ? That's a great

36:55

question .

36:56

I feel like she definitely would not really want

36:58

to do either . I think she's much more of a she wants to stay

37:00

on the ground kind of person . But I

37:02

think I'm gonna guess

37:04

outer space , because you could see

37:06

a lot of really cool things .

37:08

Yeah , I would agree with that . Bottom of the ocean

37:10

, not interested Space . I

37:12

like flying , so that would be good .

37:14

I'm sure you'll get the opportunity , sage all in your lifetime

37:16

, to go to space . I think that's my

37:18

prediction . What about ? Okay , raina

37:20

, one more . What about binge watching Netflix

37:22

or reading a good book ? What would she rather ?

37:25

I think she loves doing both , but

37:27

every time my grandmother comes into town

37:29

, my dad's mom

37:31

and my mom always find

37:34

some time to watch some

37:36

sort of Netflix series . I'm going to go with Netflix

37:39

.

37:39

That's absolutely right . All right

37:41

, that's very cool . So , marissa

37:43

, in the last few minutes

37:45

we have what's your favorite memory

37:48

with your mom .

37:50

My favorite memory with my mom is

37:53

, I would say

37:55

definitely when

37:57

we just like lay in

37:59

bed all day and we watch TV

38:02

and my dad brings us food

38:04

and we , like

38:06

we love to have a lazy day together

38:08

. So I think those are my favorite

38:10

days , where we just chat and

38:13

, you know , eat a lot of sweets

38:15

and , you know , stay in

38:17

our pajamas all day .

38:19

That sounds like an amazing memory

38:21

.

38:21

Once in a while , I believe .

38:23

That's fantastic .

38:25

Raina , how about you ? What are your favorite memories

38:27

with your mom ?

38:28

I think one of the memories that just

38:30

comes to mind immediately before

38:32

my mom would go on her long business trips

38:34

, which she would have to pack all

38:36

of her stuff into just a carry-on and

38:39

one of my favorite things I think I was eight

38:41

or nine years old I would help my mom pack and

38:43

we would debrief what was about to happen

38:45

on the trip and we would just catch up and

38:47

it was just a fun , really sweet

38:49

, innocent moment . I absolutely loved

38:52

it .

38:52

And you know , raina , this is something you learned from

38:55

your kids . Raina taught me . I

38:57

don't know where she learned it , but she said mom , you can fit

38:59

so much more if you roll your

39:01

clothes . Raina was great , even at eight

39:03

and nine years old , sitting in the closet

39:06

and rolling the clothes and putting them

39:08

into the suitcase .

39:09

Well , it has been so fun

39:11

sharing this time with you , Reina

39:13

and Marissa .

39:15

Thanks so much for listening . Please subscribe and

39:17

share . Thank you to our moms for moving over

39:19

and letting us take the mic , and thank you always

39:21

for supporting us through everything .

39:23

Yes , thank you so much and happy Mother's

39:25

Day month year to all the women

39:27

, grandmothers , aunties , coaches , teachers

39:29

, mentors and anyone who may have

39:31

helped raise kids . They may not always

39:33

show it , but believe me , they love you more than

39:35

they could ever explain . And , mom and

39:38

Bobja , I love you guys so much for raising

39:40

me into the person that I am .

39:42

And mom and Nani . Thank you so much for

39:45

shaping me into the woman I am today . Thank

39:47

you .

39:47

And Mrs Moreland , we want to say thank you so

39:49

much for being an amazing executive producer and

39:52

letting us take over the mic .