0:33

And just kind of rolling with the punches Before

0:35

we even came on, I

0:37

was dealing with electronic issues , because

0:39

this week my cat threw up into my

0:42

modem and fried it . [upbeat

0:49

electronic beat]

0:49

Song" Hi

0:53

everybody , welcome to the first episode of

0:55

Make your Business Work For you . If you do not know who

0:57

I am already which I'm assuming if you're listening to

0:59

this , at least at the time of

1:01

this podcast launching you probably know a bit about

1:03

me . My name is Brooke Monaghan . I am the host

1:05

and the creator of this podcast , and for

1:08

the past four years I have been a

1:10

business and leadership coach and

1:12

in that time I have witnessed

1:14

many of the issues that

1:17

small business owners , especially

1:19

lifestyle business owners , people who are

1:21

doing this work because they wanna have some flexibility

1:23

in their life do meaningful work and

1:25

just like support the lifestyle

1:28

that they want , but are not looking to create

1:30

some massive company . And

1:32

those four years of working with people in that position

1:34

have taught me so much about the

1:37

most common obstacles that people are

1:39

bumping up against , but also what

1:41

really needs to be better . And so

1:43

I have kind of pivoted

1:46

my work and I am working

1:48

on creating a new platform

1:50

called Fruition Growth Network , and I wanna tell you a little bit

1:52

about it only because I reference

1:54

it a few times in these first few episodes

1:56

and I want you to know what I'm talking

1:59

about . So Fruition Growth Network

2:01

is an online community

2:03

learning and networking

2:05

platform that I'm creating , but it's also a place where

2:08

I am connecting small business owners

2:10

with other small business owners who can support

2:12

them . So through the course of this podcast , you're

2:14

gonna hear me talking to different

2:17

small business owners who are experts in

2:19

certain areas or

2:22

certain industries , and they're gonna be coming

2:24

in and offering their guidance to

2:26

you in an accessible format

2:29

. We are also gonna have workshops and

2:31

all kinds of other helpful

2:34

resources available in the

2:36

Fruition Growth Network community , and

2:38

that is going to be opening

2:40

in October . So if you wanna

2:42

learn more about that , go to joinfruition . com

2:45

. And

2:47

this show is really a part of

2:49

this platform , and here's

2:51

why . One of the biggest

2:53

things that I see derail

2:57

small business owners is

2:59

that , because of this best

3:01

practice in content

3:03

creation or in being an online

3:06

service provider because one of the best practices

3:08

is to be hyper specific and

3:11

focused we

3:13

are losing a lot of

3:15

context and we are losing a lot

3:18

of nuance . The problem

3:20

is that there is a bunch of

3:22

shit that does not get talked about , and I

3:24

want my niche , if you will , to

3:26

be context and nuance , which

3:29

makes no sense and feels

3:31

so messy , and yet I am witnessing

3:33

the need for it day in and day out

3:35

, and so we're giving it a shot

3:37

. And here is why

3:40

. We need to talk about things

3:42

in a more human way and demystify

3:44

this concept of simple

3:46

, easy business that

3:49

would be true for you , too

3:51

, if only you could figure out how to do it right

3:53

, or if only you were disciplined enough or a good

3:55

enough student . Because

3:58

the reality is that there

4:00

is a lot more complexity going

4:02

on behind the scenes for

4:04

people . There is a lot more

4:07

mess , there are lots of competing

4:09

priorities for different people . Different

4:11

people come from different circumstances , different

4:13

people want different things , and the result of that

4:15

is that actually , despite the fact

4:17

that we are learning from an industry

4:19

that's telling us that running a business is

4:22

really simple if you just do

4:24

it right , I have yet to witness

4:26

that , in all of the people that I've worked with and also

4:28

in my own business . So I want us to

4:30

be able to see the truth , so

4:33

that we can first of all

4:35

, know that we're not alone and then also

4:38

kind of settle in

4:40

a little bit . Settle in a

4:42

little bit to the reality , so that we can stop

4:44

trying to chase that simple

4:47

, easy, the

4:49

money is just easily flowing because

4:51

you have finally done it right destination

4:55

. And I'm not saying that you can't allow things

4:57

to be simpler for yourself or easier for yourself

4:59

. I actually think that you can . But I

5:01

think that the way

5:03

of doing that is not what we have been

5:06

told . It is not to chase a

5:08

certain external strategy

5:10

and then discipline

5:13

yourself into doing it the right way in

5:15

hopes that things come together . So that's

5:17

gonna make more sense as we

5:20

go through these few episodes . But the point is

5:22

, if you're feeling like

5:24

everyone has it figured out except for you

5:26

, I promise you that you're not alone

5:28

, and my hope is that through

5:30

the conversations that we have in this show , you're

5:32

going to first of all see that and

5:35

also get some helpful

5:37

guidance that brings in some

5:39

more context , some more nuance and

5:42

brings a more human

5:44

approach , understanding that you

5:47

are not just your business . Now

5:49

, the other thing is that I

5:51

want to have a place where we can offer

5:53

guidance and support in a really

5:55

accessible format . Some of us can

5:58

afford to work with

6:01

a coach or work with somebody a

6:03

consultant or belong

6:05

to a mastermind

6:07

where we can go and get answers to our questions . Some

6:09

of us cannot do that . This is

6:11

a place where you can actually send us questions

6:14

, scenarios , dilemmas , and

6:17

I will pull from my network

6:19

of people and find people who are

6:22

best suited to give some guidance

6:24

on that and we will record an episode on

6:27

it . So take us up on that . Go

6:29

to joinfruition . com , click on ask

6:31

the pros , submit your questions . Now

6:33

, in these first three episodes of the show

6:36

, you're going to hear three very

6:38

different styles of episodes . That's intentional

6:40

, because there's going to be different styles of episodes

6:42

on this show . This first conversation

6:44

is a candid talk with my dear

6:46

friend , Audrey Holst . We had no

6:49

plan and , by the way , highly recommend you

6:51

take advantage and write in questions for Audrey

6:53

. Audrey works on recovering

6:55

from perfectionism and managing

6:57

stress . The other two

6:59

episodes that you're gonna hear one of them is

7:01

a Q and A style episode , so

7:03

you will -- That one's gonna be much

7:06

more straightforward . Questions are gonna come up

7:08

. We're gonna answer them . Those episodes

7:10

are going to focus on a particular topic

7:12

so you'll be able to see if it's something that's

7:14

gonna be helpful for you or not . We're also

7:16

gonna be working on getting the

7:19

Q and As all up on YouTube

7:21

in video format and we will also

7:23

be archiving all of them on the joinfruition . com

7:26

website so that you can go and search

7:28

questions by topic . We'll have much more

7:30

of a bank of those as time goes by

7:33

and get expert guidance

7:35

on different questions that people in the community have asked

7:37

. And if there isn't anything there , then

7:39

you can join the community and ask your question . And

7:41

people who are part of the community have

7:44

the benefit of being able to , first of all , get

7:46

a guaranteed response to your questions and

7:48

also see the full video

7:50

conversation when it is recorded

7:52

, rather than having to wait for it to come up on a future

7:54

podcast episode . The third episode

7:56

that dropped today and

7:59

, if you're listening to this later , I'm talking

8:01

about these first three because I'm dropping three episodes

8:03

for your binging pleasure today , but

8:06

there will be more coming weekly after this . The third

8:08

is a conversation with somebody who I have so

8:10

much respect for , Tanya Geisler , a person

8:12

whose teaching has honestly changed the way that

8:15

I approach my work . We're gonna be talking about imposter

8:17

complex and feeling

8:19

like everybody has it figured out except

8:21

for you , so I hope that you enjoy

8:23

. I can't wait to hear what you think . Please , please , leave

8:26

me a rating and a review on Apple podcasts

8:28

if you enjoy the show, it makes a huge difference

8:30

and head to joinfruition . com

8:33

, get on our email list , follow

8:36

us over on Instagram at joinfruition

8:38

so that you know when doors are opening . We

8:41

are going to be welcoming people in October and kicking

8:43

things off with some great events

8:45

, and I cannot wait to see you there . .

8:48

Yeah

8:54

, you've become one of my go-to . I'm

8:57

just gonna vox Audrey about this and see

8:59

what Audrey thinks .

9:01

[laughs] , which I love , and I'm like

9:03

I'm just gonna vox Brooke about this and

9:06

then it's gonna take some weird left turn and

9:08

it's gonna be super nourishing for everybody

9:10

involved .

9:20

I've been podcasting for a long time and I've always

9:22

been very frustrated by like the

9:24

kind of content that is like

9:27

we're gonna tell you exactly

9:29

how to do a thing and then act like it's easy

9:31

. Just gonna act

9:33

like it's real simple . All you have to do is this

9:35

and ignoring all of the other

9:38

things that are going on . For most people who run

9:40

businesses . Like I don't know , having lives not

9:43

fucking wanting to do the thing that you

9:45

just told them is easy to do , not

9:47

having the capacity to do the thing that you just

9:49

told them is easy to do , for

9:53

whatever reason , not having a business where that

9:55

actually works for them , whatever . And

9:58

what I started thinking about was

10:01

this new platform that I'm putting together

10:04

, how I could

10:06

create something that was a part of

10:08

that and that

10:11

went along with it , Because originally

10:13

I was just going to change the name of my old podcast

10:16

and just be like I'm just going to change the name and keep doing what

10:18

I'm doing . And then I was like , oh no , that's not actually what I

10:20

want to do , because what I actually want to do is I want people

10:22

who are part of that community space that I'm opening

10:24

to be able to ask questions

10:26

and then be like I don't know the answer to

10:28

that because , guess what , we don't all

10:30

know all of the answers , which is another thing that

10:32

I can't stand about

10:35

, like some of the podcasts

10:37

that I find myself listening

10:39

to and realize I was doing myself , where it's like you

10:41

put this pressure on yourself to think that you should know the answers to all the

10:43

questions and obviously you don't , but I know so many

10:45

people who know the answers . So why not ? People

10:47

are looking for podcasts to be on and ways

10:50

to get in front of new audiences . Why not

10:52

, like , bring people together , like

10:54

, this person has a question , this person has an answer

10:56

. You can ask it , then I'll put it on the podcast

10:58

. Everyone benefits , but it's also not just me talking

11:01

just for the sake of talking , and

11:04

that was kind of what sparked me

11:07

putting this together . And

11:10

, of course , the reason that you

11:12

were even though we did talk about

11:15

how you were a last minute substitution . I'm

11:17

not going to lie . I'm sorry , but

12:05

you were going to be for the first episode

12:07

because I wanted to talk to you about your stuff . I

12:09

wanted to talk to you about perfectionism . You're going to have to come back

12:11

for that part . [Audrey] I'll be back , yeah . [Brooke]

12:13

but one of the reasons I wanted to chat with you about it is because

12:16

this is the stuff that you and I are talking about all the

12:18

time . I feel like yeah , where

12:20

we're like , yeah

12:22

, like you're supposed to just X , Y and

12:24

Z , and also like what the fuck ?

12:27

Totally so . One of the things I'm curious about

12:29

like for drawing things out for anybody who's

12:31

listening right now , or like what are some of the themes that have

12:33

been popping up for you that you're excited

12:36

to talk to people about ?

12:37

Well , see , this is the thing . Good question

12:39

, because I think that what I'm realizing

12:42

is I'm at a phase now where

12:44

I can do things less because I'm excited

12:46

about them and more because I know

12:48

that they're genuinely helpful for people . Which

12:51

is like a new thing for me , because I started

12:53

my original podcast being like , oh , this is a thing that I want to create

12:56

and that I'm really excited about . I mean , I am really excited about this

12:58

, but also , like

13:00

I genuinely am curious about , like

13:02

what are the questions that you wish someone was

13:04

actually answering ? And

13:06

like I probably know someone who can

13:08

give you , who could have a more

13:11

nuanced conversation with

13:13

me about your specific

13:15

situation , or who could fill in some of

13:17

those details that you feel like you're not getting . And

13:20

so , I

13:23

mean , the theme of all of it is

13:25

this like we can consume , how- to content all we want , but

13:28

at the end of the day , you can't actually

13:31

just know all of the things to

13:33

do and then just run down the list and do them all .

13:35

Yeah , totally .

13:35

So , like , what do you do then , given

13:40

the complexity of like

13:42

real world situations where you have multiple

13:44

priorities ? Y ou

13:47

know . So anyways , I

13:49

mean , yeah , I guess that , going

13:52

into this , I'm like I'm excited to have my people

13:55

here who I know are really smart and

13:57

know some things like

13:59

answer the questions that people actually

14:01

want answers to and do a lot

14:04

less talking just for the sake of fucking creating content

14:06

.

14:06

Yeah , I feel like that is one of the that

14:10

is , I feel like that's a theme right

14:12

now in my own life and I think that's a theme

14:15

that's kind of coming up in conversation is

14:17

is a feeling of creating

14:20

content , because it's something you're supposed to do or something that

14:22

is now expected , or something

14:24

that feels like

14:27

a necessary part of

14:29

business , and the term creating

14:31

content it

14:33

means so . It's such a vague

14:35

overarching term

14:38

and I think , with all the conversations with AI

14:41

, right , like that's like a whole other

14:43

story . Like what are we actually like ? What is being

14:45

created ? What are we actually talking about ? Are we , are

14:47

we creating content ? I'm putting all these things in

14:49

quotes because , yeah , what is creating content

14:52

actually like ? Is it ? Is it

14:54

just stuff that you feel like you got to throw

14:56

out into the world because that's what we're supposed to be doing to keep

14:58

ourselves in front of people ? Are we creating

15:00

things because it actually is

15:02

like you're talking about answering

15:04

a question that somebody has and is

15:06

looking for an answer to something . Are

15:10

we creating because we are excited about something , just like

15:12

you were talking about previously ?

15:15

So , even when you said that back to me really

15:17

creating content I was like ugh

15:18

, because it's

15:21

become this concept that

15:23

it's so interesting , because it's

15:25

almost like one of those things where like , if you aim directly

15:28

at creating really great content , you're

15:30

not gonna . [Audrey] Yes . [Brooke] Like

15:33

if you're creating content for the

15:35

sake of creating content , you're actually not

15:37

focusing on the thing that you should be focusing on , which is

15:39

creating something

15:42

beautiful , useful

15:44

, helpful , whatever it is , whatever your reason

15:46

for creating is , and then putting that out there . That is

15:49

whatever it is that you're creating and sharing with people . That

15:51

is content . But we have forgotten about

15:53

that because we're so obsessed with doing it the right way

15:55

. And

15:58

the other thing in this is this feels

16:00

so relevant for conversations that you

16:02

and I have been having about your

16:04

work . Yeah , because

16:06

you just had this , like

16:09

I mean , I don't know if you want to talk about it here

16:11

, but like you just also had this kind

16:13

of like epiphany about writing your book in a totally

16:15

different way . Yes , I'm

16:17

like immediately sensing this , like

16:19

through line between what I'm talking about here

16:21

and and what's interesting too . And this is like so

16:24

, man I'm so excited now because

16:26

it's such a good indicator of

16:28

the fact that , like doing

16:31

this , doing what both of us are doing right now , could

16:33

lead you to two completely different

16:35

things . Like I'm choosing to

16:37

be , like I want to create a thing because

16:41

I like less , because I'm excited

16:43

to do it and more because I'm witnessing

16:46

people are looking for certain information

16:48

, and I know people who have it , and I could bring those people together

16:50

and we could demystify this whole idea

16:52

that there's , like this , one simple answer

16:55

that you're just missing or that everyone has it figured out except for

16:57

you . For

16:59

you , I think that you're also

17:01

completely flipping the idea of creating

17:03

content on its head , but it's taking

17:06

you to a much different place , which is , like

17:08

the point of

17:11

why I want to be talking about all of this .

17:14

Yeah , yeah , and always full disclosure

17:17

. This is my process . This does not have to be

17:19

your process , but if hearing about my process is

17:21

helpful , awesome . If you think it's stupid , that's cool

17:23

too . So I

17:25

have . I've been writing

17:27

a book for several years now . I

17:30

actually had a book completely written . It was in

17:32

the second round of edits and

17:35

the my rough draft

17:37

happened right before the pandemic . My

17:40

first round of edits

17:42

happened like right in the

17:44

midst of it and when and

17:46

I stepped away from it for a while because I

17:49

don't know , didn't seem like the most important

17:51

thing to be doing at that time . When I came

17:53

back to it and I was reading through

17:55

it , I'm like this is not interesting to me . This

17:57

is centering all the wrong stuff . It

17:59

was centering what

18:02

the things that I was , and

18:06

I think this happens a lot of times to . I know

18:08

that you've talked about this where we center the things we

18:10

don't want . I'm not centering

18:12

the oppression or I'm centering the white supremacy

18:14

or I'm centering right ? I'm centering the things that

18:16

I am anti , yeah , but

18:19

I'm actually not bringing to the forefront the

18:21

things that I want people to be highlighting , paying attention

18:23

to and spending more time with

18:25

Right . And if we're talking

18:27

about the nervous system which is a lot of the stuff that I talk about

18:29

and write about, is that's already become

18:32

a challenge . Is that a lot of the

18:34

folks I work with , a lot of the folks that a lot

18:36

of things I talk about , we start centering the stuff

18:38

we don't want . We put a lot of energy there

18:40

and we start orienting towards those things

18:42

. Okay , well , if you're orienting towards all the stuff you don't want

18:44

, how

18:47

are you going to get to the stuff you do want ? Right , it's like

18:49

what's your North Star ? If you're staring at

18:51

a black hole over here, I'm

18:54

like , gesturing at different sides of my body , you can't

18:56

see me . If I'm just , you know , if I'm like

18:58

staring down the black hole , how am I ever

19:00

going to get to the sun ? Like , I actually have to turn my head , look

19:02

at the sun and start orienting that direction .

19:04

I think that's what creativity is , by the way , I think like

19:07

, yeah , it's like no longer focusing on

19:09

all of

19:11

the things that are that you're

19:13

against or that are wrong

19:15

or that you want to fix , and

19:18

focusing on creating the thing

19:20

that you do . Which is super fucking risky . And scary .

19:30

Y eah . Totally . And so I started writing it again and

19:32

it again started centering

19:34

. I got through three quarters

19:36

of the book second time around and I was like and

19:39

at that point I had done

19:41

some like rearranging , I had trashed

19:43

a bunch of bunch of stuff I've kind of like trashed

19:46

and burned and then like rewritten , sort

19:48

of mashed back together this book in several

19:50

different ways . And again I was like

19:52

, why am I talking about this ? There's a lot

19:54

of talk about work , there's a lot of talk about business

19:56

and , to be honest , that's not the

19:58

thing , that's not the conversation I want to have

20:00

. Like these things are part of people's lives and

20:02

they're part of they're big parts of people's

20:05

lives , but that's , that's

20:07

not . Again , it's not what I want to center . I don't want to be centering

20:09

business or work . I don't think it's . The

20:12

important thing is to center . So

20:14

here we go , slash and burn . Here

20:16

it goes again and I just started

20:18

thinking about , like what is the

20:20

book that I want to make

20:23

? Like what's the experience I want to have making

20:25

this book ? And

20:28

I think that's because that's

20:30

a part of the process right is like being able

20:32

to enjoy the process , and there's plenty of people

20:34

who write books because they want to, you

20:36

know they have a particular objective

20:40

for it . Right , it's marketing or it's

20:42

whatever . But I don't . That's not my , that's not my objective

20:44

. Like originally it was kind of like that , but at this point I'm like

20:46

that's not really what I care about . And I actually

20:48

had a really interesting conversation

20:50

with a woman by the name of Elizabeth

20:53

Watkins Price and she is, she

20:55

just wrote a book and was telling

20:57

me about her process and she was getting super jazzed . It's

21:00

really fun to talk to like other writers

21:02

who get it like it's very , very exciting

21:04

. And she was talking about having done

21:06

something similar where she was like I wanted to talk about it , like I

21:08

wanted to write , I wanted to like become the person

21:11

to write the book that I wanted

21:13

to write and it

21:17

was like a lot of memoir . But like the memoir

21:19

was so vulnerable and

21:21

raw that it ended up being like wrapped

21:23

in a lot of my practices

21:26

, which actually felt like a really compassionate

21:28

thing to do , and like even me

21:30

talking about it right now and and like

21:32

she can talk about it obviously way more , way

21:34

better than I just did , but it like gave me chills . Like

21:36

that's the process . Yes , like you

21:39

go through the journey , like the writing

21:41

itself does something to you

21:43

and brings you to a place , and then you

21:45

figure out how to wrap that in something that

21:47

like does something for you

21:49

and then it does something for somebody else and

21:51

like that's the whole thing . It's like if

21:53

you're not creating for

21:55

yourself or for somebody else or

21:58

in relationship , it's just like what

22:00

are we doing ? Are we really just like throwing

22:02

stuff against a wall because we've been told

22:04

to throw something against the wall ? So

22:07

that's the very not linear process

22:09

. So that's where I am now , and I've got a . I've

22:12

got a bunch of sticky notes , I've got all

22:15

sorts of stuff

22:17

up and

22:19

one of the one of the parts of the book that one of the

22:21

sticky notes is actually about what we've been talking

22:24

to a little bit here is like concept

22:26

versus reality , like us relating

22:29

to a concept versus like

22:31

relating to what's here . Yeah

22:33

, there's something about relating to like what's here

22:35

versus just like this right , this concept of creating

22:37

content . When I say creating content , I have no

22:39

relationship to that term . [Brooke] The cat has joined

22:42

the conversation . I will . Yeah , when [Audrey]

22:44

Everybody go into YouTube and the cat

22:46

has has entered the chat .

22:47

Yeah, what's the . What's the cat's name ? I forget . I feel

22:49

terrible . What's the name ? [Audrey] Sweet Pea [Brooke]

22:52

Sweet Pea , of course , duh . I

22:54

just thought Sweet Pea was about to like turn

22:56

their little head and like talk into the

22:58

microphone , just like perfect .

23:00

It may happen .

23:03

Yeah , it's like this whole

23:05

like okay , well , if we're not doing something that like does something for

23:07

us or does something for other people , we're not creating a thing that's

23:10

like for you know , for

23:12

us , or in that process , then what

23:14

are we doing ? It's like what we're doing is

23:16

we're trying to figure out how

23:18

to do the thing that has been promised to

23:21

deliver all of the money . I

23:23

think is it's like there's

23:26

this promise that if you do all

23:28

of the stuff the right way and you just create

23:30

content in this way and whatever , then it's going

23:32

to work , and work usually

23:35

means make money . But what I see

23:37

is that like

23:40

people are aiming for

23:42

that when that's not actually the

23:44

reason why they're even here . Like

23:46

not to say that we don't want to

23:48

make money of course we do , but really

23:51

like you could just go and get a job if

23:54

that's what you wanted to do and sometimes

23:58

people decide to do that and that's great

24:00

and also

24:03

like , if that doesn't feel satisfying

24:06

to you , then the reason

24:08

that doesn't feel satisfying to you is because actually you're

24:10

here for a different reason and part of

24:12

what I'm , like you

24:14

know , constantly wrestling I feel like

24:16

constantly wrestling with . I

24:18

feel like is this

24:21

like making

24:23

, just making money is actually

24:25

not that hard of a problem to solve . I mean

24:27

, it is for

24:30

some people , of course , and in certain circumstances

24:32

, obviously , but what's

24:34

the hard part problem to solve is figuring

24:36

out how to do

24:39

what you actually want to do , create

24:42

the thing that you actually want to create , fit

24:44

that in with what you want your

24:47

life to look like and

24:49

figure out how to make it , make you

24:51

money , which is

24:53

a much different thing from just

24:55

going down the fucking checklist of all

24:57

the shit that you're supposed to do , and I feel

24:59

like no one's giving themselves enough credit for that .

25:02

Like , totally yeah . And so

25:04

, like the metaphor that just popped into my mind

25:06

, it's like if you were

25:08

to write a checklist

25:11

on how to grow a plant . Right

25:14

, it's like you get the dirt , you

25:16

plant the seeds , you water the seeds

25:18

, you you know

25:20

, you give it sunlight , whatever . But here's

25:22

the thing Weather happens

25:25

right . Weather is unpredictable

25:27

. You may get the right weather , you may get the wrong weather . You don't

25:29

really know . Are you growing it inside or you're growing it outside ? Like

25:32

, are there animals that may come and eat

25:34

those ? Right , there are . It's like there are so many

25:36

circumstances and

25:39

and factors that

25:41

play into a process that

25:43

, like none of these checklists , happen in a vacuum .

25:46

Right . Exactly , exactly . Business

25:49

doesn't happen in a vacuum . Business

25:52

happens because

25:54

people run businesses and

25:56

human beings turns out are kind

25:58

of fucking complex .

26:01

Living in a kind of complex world

26:04

and a little bit , just

26:06

a little bit .

26:06

So I'm just like endlessly fascinated

26:09

by and I mean , it makes sense , right , because

26:11

we're all drawn to this idea of things just being

26:14

simple . So , and

26:16

this is the other thing , too , that I always try to like remind

26:18

myself of is like , rather than just being

26:20

angry about the kinds of conversations

26:22

that are out there , the kinds of content that is out there

26:24

, the kinds of the ways that we're being told to approach

26:27

a certain thing , remembering that the reason that that exists

26:29

is because , on the other side

26:31

of things , we're all out here looking for the easy

26:33

answer . Like we're all out here looking for

26:35

the simple just give me the answer , just

26:37

get to the point , kind of thing , and so

26:40

that it , you know , it's a , it's a

26:42

tricky thing , yeah , but

26:44

I think that part of

26:46

what I'm

26:48

kind of craving , I guess

26:50

, is almost this , like this

26:54

exposing

26:58

like what is true

27:00

and real here , which is that there's

27:03

such an illusion of like there's people

27:06

who know how to do things and

27:09

who have everything figured out and

27:12

everything , and for those people , things

27:14

are just simple and easy and what

27:17

, and they know how to do the right things , and

27:20

you are somehow

27:22

broken , flawed , fucked up because

27:24

, despite the fact that you're consuming all of the stuff

27:26

that those people are putting out there

27:29

, it's not working for you

27:31

, but it's working for everybody else

27:33

. And I'm just like but

27:36

is it , or is it just like but

27:38

is it ?

27:40

That's the thing , right ? I think that , and I think the thing

27:42

is , like , what we need to say is some

27:44

people are making money , some people are

27:46

not making money . Some people are

27:48

putting up the front that they're making money , but

27:51

they're not making money . Some people have jobs

27:53

, some people don't have jobs , some people have

27:55

spouses or significant others , some

27:57

people have other sources of income . Right , like

27:59

there are so many things happening in

28:01

the background and it

28:04

is and nobody talks about those

28:06

things which is like both

28:08

fine , but then also very difficult for people

28:10

who are trying to understand . Like , because that's

28:12

one of the things we do as humans , right , as we look around

28:14

at each other and say , like am I where

28:16

I'm supposed to be ? Am I in the right group of

28:18

people ? Like , am I doing the right things

28:20

? Like , am I in the right stage ? Like

28:22

, what's going on ? And because there are a lot

28:24

of these conversations that are not happening , we don't know

28:27

.

28:27

Like we just don't know . Yeah , yeah , and

28:30

I was having a conversation with somebody this morning . I

28:36

asked this group , what's

28:39

something that you want to learn more about ? And

28:43

somebody said I just

28:45

want to know what to do . Yeah

28:47

, I'm like , oh my

28:49

gosh , first of all , me too . All

28:53

of us .

28:54

Same .

28:55

This is what we're all looking for , and

28:57

also , what that really is is a call

28:59

for self-trust , because the

29:01

idea that there is a

29:03

what to do is

29:06

the whole fucking thing . And

29:08

like what I and I feel like

29:10

people might be listening to this and be like

29:12

, okay , great , except , like you know

29:14

, just trusting myself isn't going to like get me out

29:16

of this situation . Well , actually I

29:21

think it would . I actually think that it would

29:23

, because , like the , it's

29:25

like when you are looking

29:27

for people to tell you how

29:30

to do the thing , all the time and when , and especially

29:32

when you're looking to this kind of content that we're

29:34

talking about . This whole conversation has ended up centering

29:36

around this sort of content but [Audrey] It's like how

29:39

to ? How to do content . [Brooke] That kind of yeah

29:41

which , by the way , the next episode of this

29:43

podcast is going to be very Q&A and you're

29:45

just getting answers . So I

29:47

mean , you know , but it's going to be to

29:49

like specific questions , and I hope that there's

29:51

some nuance in there that allows you to take what's helpful

29:53

and leave what isn't . but

29:58

it's like look

30:00

, constantly looking for

30:02

the give me

30:04

the answer . Constantly

30:06

looking for the right

30:09

person who's going to finally give you the

30:11

thing that's going to help you move the needle

30:13

. Constantly looking for the missing piece of information

30:15

is kind of just distracting

30:18

you from what

30:21

you are actually here to create , or

30:23

your own unique ideas or your own

30:25

perspective on a thing , or how you could do things differently

30:27

. And I think that we are also

30:29

in a kind of like it's

30:32

really frustrating where we're at right now because

30:34

it's yeah , I think I'm talking to I am talking to

30:36

a lot of people who are saying things that used to work

30:39

aren't working the way that they used to anymore . Yes , which

30:41

is really really frustrating . And also

30:44

that means you get to

30:46

do whatever the fuck you want , because

30:49

if the right way isn't working anyways , then

30:51

maybe change it up and start running a fucking experiment

30:54

and try something else . Because , like

30:56

, I mean , what do you have to lose

30:58

? Right , you know ? And

31:00

that's where the actual creativity comes in and

31:02

that's where you can actually like approach

31:05

things differently and that's where you actually have the space

31:07

to say , okay , this is what I want this to look

31:09

like , or this is what I want to create for other people , or the

31:11

change that I want to make , or the impact that I want to have , or

31:13

the thing that I want to set straight I'm

31:15

going to approach this from a

31:19

place of self trust and creativity

31:21

, that I can bring that to life , and also

31:23

approach the money making piece from a place of

31:25

creativity , rather than just

31:27

trying to follow the rules because

31:29

, I mean , I don't know . I

31:32

just I have learned this lesson over and

31:34

over again . Literally every single time that I ever

31:37

find something where I'm like , aha , this

31:39

is it , this is going to be the thing

31:41

that is finally going to change everything and

31:43

finally , like the money

31:46

is going to start flowing in and everything's going to be easy

31:48

, I'm like oh right , and yet again

31:50

, it's actually more complicated than

31:52

that . Great

31:57

. I actually have to be more creative than that . I actually

31:59

have to make it work for my unique circumstances

32:01

. I actually have to , like tap into

32:03

what I think , or put my own spin on the thing

32:05

, or take one part of it that works

32:07

and like to completely forget all the rest of it , because

32:10

the rest of it is distracting me like

32:12

, and I

32:14

just so badly

32:16

want to like stop

32:20

this pattern that I see so many people

32:22

get sucked into , where

32:24

you're just on the search for

32:26

that thing that's going to , like you know , finally

32:29

make it all make sense .

32:30

I've seen the other side , right

32:32

like I've worked with folks who have

32:34

really successful businesses

32:37

, like financially successful

32:39

, and like

32:41

they've hit , they've checked off all the

32:43

things right , and so they've checked all things

32:45

and I don't you know for , for disclosure , people don't know like

32:47

I don't , I'm not a business coach , right

32:49

like I do a lot of coaching around perfectionism

32:51

and stress and anxiety

32:53

and that [Brooke] turns out lots of us business owners

32:56

struggle with those things . [Audrey]

32:58

Turns out . You know that there's a lot of that

33:00

going on in this world .

33:01

Wait , entrepreneurs need your

33:03

help . I don't know why they would

33:05

ever need that .

33:08

So , like I've , I've seen , right , I

33:10

work with a lot of the people who are because , you

33:12

know , also spoiler alert people often

33:14

don't hire me until they've got

33:16

the funds to be like , okay , like

33:18

I actually feel like I can now hire the person that

33:21

can help me and that , like you know , stress

33:23

emotional sort of nervous system side

33:26

, which is totally fair . Right , you're trying to make wise investments

33:28

when you're getting things going . But

33:30

, yeah , I end up with the people who are

33:33

and I don't just work with entrepreneurs , like I'm also

33:35

working with people with with regular jobs but

33:37

a lot of the people who've checked all the checkboxes

33:40

right , they've got the stable income

33:42

, they've got the business that's working , they do

33:45

know what levers to pull and

33:47

they're not and guess what

33:49

like nothing magically happened . It's

33:52

not like all of those things happen and all of a sudden

33:54

they're like , yay , now I can kick

33:56

back and relax . No , because they have no idea

33:58

how to not do anything other than just

34:00

like sprint on the hamster wheel as

34:02

fast as possible .

34:03

Yep . And , by the way

34:05

, for everybody who's looking at those people

34:07

from the outside thinking , oh

34:09

my gosh , those people just have it all together

34:11

. They figured it out , they just have it on autopilot

34:14

. Everything's probably running like a well oiled machine

34:16

over there . All they have to do is just

34:18

wake up and just stroll into

34:21

their probably beautiful office and

34:23

, just you know , like breeze

34:25

through their day . I think that

34:27

both of us can confirm that

34:29

that is not what's

34:31

going on .

34:34

It's not what's going on . It's not what's going on , unless people have really done some

34:36

like deep inquiry and they're certain , and they've been

34:38

like confronting that concept

34:41

, like they're throughout the entire , the

34:43

entire build , and I think that that's the that's

34:48

kind of the rub is that there is not

34:50

a finish line . You're not going to get to a point

34:52

where , all of a sudden , you're like the

34:55

heavens open up and the angels come down

34:57

and all the money flows and you're like I'm

34:59

done now and I feel great

35:02

, like there's a lot more . There

35:05

just continues to be complexity and things

35:07

that happen and things that are interesting , and

35:09

I guess it , and if you're not , I guess

35:11

the question , I guess that what I want to say is if , like , if that's

35:13

the vision you have , then

35:17

the reality is going to be like a harsh slap

35:19

in the face .

35:20

Yeah , and I think that a lot of people

35:23

are continuing to be like

35:25

Wait , this is my reality , so that means there's something

35:27

wrong with me, Or this

35:29

is my reality , and so that means that I'm doing something

35:31

wrong , or this is my reality , and so

35:33

I must not be as capable

35:35

as I thought I was Right . Instead

35:38

of this

35:40

is your reality . These are the things that

35:42

you know that you want to be different . Is

35:45

it possible to like have

35:48

a little bit of acceptance of what reality

35:50

is right now ? Give yourself a little bit

35:52

of those things that you want to be different , actually

35:55

live your fucking life and like know

35:57

, that , whatever it is , like you're going to have

35:59

to keep showing up to this and it is going to be work

36:02

and it is going to be challenging . And so how can you like set it up in a way

36:04

where you can like at least show

36:06

up to it day in and day out , in a way

36:08

that doesn't feel like a total , just

36:12

like you're getting the shit beat out of you

36:14

every day ? And I think that , like we

36:17

have to , we have to recognize that

36:19

so much of the industry

36:21

that you know you're not a business

36:23

coach but , surprise

36:25

, you're on a business podcast , so

36:28

you're in the business

36:30

development industry with me right now . So

36:33

much of this industry thrives on the

36:36

blue sky promises

36:38

. It thrives on the

36:40

it runs because of the fact

36:43

that people are convinced that they're going

36:45

to hit some sort of finish line . Right , yep

36:47

, and it's re , it's reinforced

36:49

at the top of every sales page that you see . Yep

36:52

, like what if things get to be like this and you

36:54

finally

36:56

get to blah , blah , blah , blah . Right , and

36:58

I'll be honest with you , as I was thinking about

37:01

being even more explicit , about

37:03

breaking that down , I was thinking well , okay

37:05

then where does that leave people ? And am

37:07

I doing ? Am I being dumb

37:10

by being

37:12

like , actually , like

37:15

, that's not because where does that leave me

37:17

? Do I have something to

37:19

offer ? If I'm not hooking people

37:21

on some kind of blue sky , like promise

37:24

of , like everything gets to be different and ultimately

37:26

, it's like what I kind of come back

37:28

around to is , like I

37:31

know for a fact that

37:33

if I'm , if I'm witnessing

37:35

that and I can see it so clearly any

37:38

fear that I have the position that it would put

37:40

me in to no longer participate

37:42

in it , if

37:45

I can manage to set that aside and

37:47

just focus on creating something

37:49

better , I'm going to be fucking fine . I'm

37:52

gonna be fine , and the reason I know that I'm going to

37:54

be fine is because we so desperately

37:57

need something better . There's just no

37:59

way that , if

38:01

I really focus my energy

38:04

on creating something that

38:06

approaches things differently

38:08

and gives people a different way of looking at things

38:11

, I just can't , I'm not willing to

38:13

accept that that would somehow fuck

38:15

me over in any way , because I

38:17

look around and I see the people who need it and

38:20

I'm like I

38:23

mean , this is what this is like , what

38:25

this is my whole fucking job . My whole job

38:28

is to witness what people need and try to create a solution

38:30

for it . And so , anyways , all

38:32

of this to say it's like I think that this kind of brings us back

38:34

around to where we started this conversation

38:36

, which is like we have

38:39

all of these things that are pulling us back to like

38:41

, no , do do things this way , don't trust yourself

38:43

in your own creativity , don't have the real conversation

38:45

. Don't write something just to write

38:47

it . Don't write something just to

38:50

connect with people or offer a different perspective

38:52

. Write a thing because it's marketing . Do a

38:55

thing because it's in an industry where you

38:57

can make money . Do a thing because it's smart

38:59

and strategic and whatever for your business

39:01

and that , ultimately

39:04

, I think that we're just at this

39:06

point right now where look around

39:08

and look at all of the things that you're seeing

39:10

around you and ask yourself how helpful it feels like

39:12

it is to you and ask yourself if you want to be one of those

39:15

people or if you want to be the person who's daring

39:17

to do things a bit differently and creating

39:19

to actually create something better

39:22

and more beautiful and whatever . And

39:24

like I don't know where that leaves us

39:27

, like I don't know I can't make a guarantee

39:29

that that money is going to flow from that

39:31

because , to be honest , that's some straight

39:33

fucking bullshit too . That's like the

39:35

whole what like the prosperity

39:37

gospel of like fucking money

39:40

goes to people who are like doing

39:42

things the right way and our good people

39:44

and whatever .

39:45

If you really want to make a perfectionist totally

39:48

lose their mind , just go

39:50

down that rabbit hole .

39:51

Right . So we can't make those guarantees

39:54

, but what I can tell you is that I

39:58

don't know at least the thing that you said you

40:00

wanted to do when you decided to do the work that

40:02

you chose to do like , which I'm assuming

40:04

was do something meaningful and

40:07

something that matters to you and feel like you're having

40:09

an impact on people and actually enjoy your work

40:11

and have some sense of creative control

40:13

and freedom . You

40:16

could have that , and

40:18

I

40:20

mean , if the things that you're trying that are supposedly

40:22

going to make you money are not making you money anyway

40:24

, I don't know . Maybe we give

40:27

it a shot , like that's my whole

40:29

thing is . I'm like I'm not guaranteeing you that any of the stuff is

40:31

going to work , but I can tell you that if you're not willing to even

40:33

try it , you're going to have a damn hard time of

40:35

, like you know , getting where you want

40:37

to go .

40:39

Yeah , and I think it's the thing that keeps

40:41

coming up for me around . This conversation

40:43

is just just like getting

40:45

real with what your risk tolerance

40:47

is . Yes , because

40:50

I and I think that that's a real , that

40:53

is such a . That's

40:56

just like such a real conversation

40:59

right there . When I say risk tolerance

41:01

, that covers a lot of bases

41:04

Like what is your financial

41:06

risk tolerance right ? Because people

41:08

are going to have all sorts of different numbers . They're going

41:10

to have all sorts of different histories . Again , they're going

41:12

to have all sorts of different income streams , or

41:14

maybe they don't have all sorts of income streams . Maybe they have savings

41:17

, maybe they don't have savings , maybe they have , you

41:19

know , investors , maybe they don't . There's that's going

41:21

to look very different . What are people is like emotional

41:24

risk tolerances because , listen , this

41:26

is not this . This shit is not

41:28

easy , especially if you're in the public eye

41:30

. Depending also , depending on what

41:33

you're interested in creating , what you're interested in saying , how

41:35

um fired up , that's going

41:37

to get people right . That can create a

41:39

certain amount of , you know , social

41:42

risk perhaps for people . These

41:45

are all things that

41:48

are real right

41:50

. They're , all sorts of things that are real . You know , when there's that

41:52

kind of conversations around like taking

41:54

up space and being loud and all of that sort of stuff

41:57

, yes , and they , everything

41:59

still comes with a consequence , like I think that

42:01

that's the piece that I want to be really

42:03

explicit about , because there is a lot of blue

42:06

sky and there is a lot of , you

42:08

know , sort of positive psychology , but

42:10

I'm like , okay , and these again ,

42:13

are concepts and we also live

42:15

in like a reality and

42:18

there is like there

42:20

there are consequences to our actions . Right

42:22

, there are consequences to our actions , and

42:25

so not everybody is going to receive

42:27

us in a in a wonderful way and some

42:29

people receive us poorly , and that's

42:31

going to be like , what is people's tolerances

42:33

for that sort of thing ? Because I think that's like , I think

42:35

that's totally real , I think it's worth worth

42:38

thinking about that , and people's

42:40

willingness to be brave and try

42:42

stuff out and be experimental and like

42:44

stick their toes in the water and check things

42:46

out and see how it goes . Like that's

42:48

how change gets created too, where new ideas

42:50

come about . Like nothing

42:52

new ever got created , nothing , nothing ever got

42:54

shifted , because people were like

42:56

What's the way you're supposed to do this again ? Let

43:03

me follow the instructions . You know on that same point of risk tolerance , one of

43:05

the things that I think about all the time is like

43:08

am I willing to

43:10

? There are certain things that I have considered

43:12

doing or trying or have done

43:15

in the past because of the fact

43:17

that there's a promise attached to it

43:19

that , like this is what everyone

43:22

says you have to do, this is what everyone says works works , and so you know what

43:25

being being in business

43:27

means you have to make money . That's the definition of

43:29

being in business , so I'm willing to do it , and

43:32

what I started asking myself

43:35

more and more is like am I

43:37

willing to take the risk of that not working

43:39

because it's going to suck . And

43:44

sometimes the answer

43:46

is yes , I am , but

43:48

I think that we , like I think I've

43:50

had to get myself more

43:53

used to rather than going into , because

43:55

what I would do before is I would ask myself that question

43:57

if it was my idea . So

43:59

I want to try this . Well , am I really

44:01

willing to risk that potentially not working because it might not

44:03

work ? But then a

44:06

"tried quote , unquote best practice

44:08

you know would be presented

44:10

to me and I would never ask myself that question .

44:12

[Brooke] I would just think , okay , I have to do that because that's the thing that

44:14

works . [Audrey] Ohhh, interesting . [Brooke] And if it doesn't work , it just means that I'm not doing

44:17

it enough .

44:18

I'm not doing it . I'm not doing it right or whatever right

44:20

, but I never was

44:22

asking myself , and actually there's

44:24

a risk of that not working too , and am I willing

44:27

to try that if it potentially isn't going

44:29

to work ? I would only ask myself that with my ideas .

44:33

Am I willing to risk it ? Am I willing to put my right

44:35

?

44:39

Yeah , and so it's just interesting to now notice , like

44:42

, where I perceive

44:45

all of the risk is , and like

44:47

I perceive other people's ideas as a sure thing

44:49

. And I perceive my ideas as risky

44:50

. And

44:54

it's not true . How many times do I need to have that proven to

44:56

me ? How many

44:58

fucking times does it need to

45:00

become just so obvious

45:02

, through real , real world experience , that that

45:04

is not how the

45:07

world works , it is not how this

45:09

works . [Audrey] Yes . [Brooke] And

45:11

yet here I am convincing myself

45:13

that every idea that I have as a risk and every idea

45:15

that everybody else has is just a sure thing , that

45:17

if only I was just a good enough fucking student

45:19

that I could just do it right and just be disciplined

45:21

enough .

45:23

And that's the, that's the thing . I'm

45:25

with you in that camp , I'm totally with

45:27

you in that camp is that if I'm a

45:29

good enough student of whatever philosophy

45:32

or whatever practice , then

45:34

it's going to work . Right , because

45:36

obviously everybody else seems to

45:38

be doing it just fine . It seems

45:41

to be working for them . But like if I

45:43

come up with something then it's brand new

45:45

and it's never been tested and like it's risky and

45:47

all . Yeah , I mean that's again

45:49

. I think we're talking about that discernment . [Brooke] Yeah, right . [Audrey] Is

45:52

figuring out , is maybe putting

45:54

the question mark right above everything .

46:00

Yeah , on that note of the

46:02

you know everybody else's whatever

46:04

. I just thought it would be , you know , helpful

46:07

to throw out there in case anyone doesn't

46:09

know this . Most businesses lose

46:11

money . I don't know if anyone's aware of that

46:13

, you know , because I feel like we

46:15

have this right .

46:17

The destination business is making money , but businesses

46:20

lose a lot of it .

46:21

Yes , like if

46:23

you're not losing money

46:25

, if you are not pouring

46:28

money in and actually losing

46:30

money , you are actually performing

46:33

better than a

46:36

lot of very large businesses

46:38

out there . I like not sure if you're

46:40

aware , you know , and I don't think that we were

46:42

not , because we're not told that , like , the image

46:45

that we have is that , like , everyone has figured

46:47

out how to do it except for us , and it's just not

46:49

true . It's like I think it's

46:51

like I think

46:53

it's around 60%

46:55

of businesses are

46:57

not making money . I was listening to the

47:02

podcast what's

47:04

it called the Dropout , which was the podcast

47:07

about Elizabeth Holmes and Theranos

47:09

. Oh , yes , and then they

47:11

did a series while

47:14

she was on trial .

47:15

Yeah .

47:15

For people who are listening , who are not familiar

47:17

with the story , which you probably are familiar

47:19

with the story , Elizabeth Holmes was

47:22

a CEO

47:24

of a very large medical

47:27

technology company that

47:29

basically the entire thing was just smoke and mirrors and

47:31

she was just conning people into giving her huge amounts

47:33

of money for investments and couldn't do any of the things

47:35

that she said this business could do . And

47:38

I was listening to it and I was just thinking

47:40

about the hundreds of millions

47:43

of dollars that this woman got

47:45

these people to give her . This

47:48

company was operating for

47:50

a decade and

47:52

I'm listening to it and I'm like you know what's cool

47:55

? My business makes

47:57

more money than Theranos ever made . That's

48:01

cool . But this is the thing

48:03

that I don't think we realize , or

48:05

we don't . We think about people

48:07

. We put other people on this kind

48:09

of like . We think about their story is totally different , where

48:12

it's like these huge companies that are legit and whatever

48:14

, and we don't know how to do that and

48:16

actually like I

48:18

don't understand

48:20

that really the idea that everyone

48:23

has it figured out except for you is not only

48:25

bullshit , but like you

48:27

can be an operational business

48:29

that is a multi-million dollar

48:32

business and

48:34

actually be losing money

48:36

, and so where does that

48:38

leave us then ? Because , like

48:41

, if the goal is no

48:43

longer to have the six-figure

48:45

business , or have the seven-figure business or the whatever

48:48

, then what the fuck is the goal ? Okay , then

48:50

how about we come back ?

48:51

to that . Yeah , yeah , let's back it

48:53

up about 50 million steps .

48:55

It just blows my mind because I'm like , wow , we're so

48:57

confused .

48:59

Yeah , and why wouldn't we be Exactly

49:02

?

49:02

We're confused because of the kinds of conversations

49:05

that are being had in , you

49:07

know , and , unfortunately , in

49:09

the places where we're going to look for

49:11

help , where we're going to seek some sort

49:14

of help me

49:16

, help me see that I'm not as alone , give

49:18

me some kind of answer to move me forward

49:20

and I just feel like in a lot of those places where we're

49:22

looking for that , we're getting something that's actually sucking

49:25

us further into this spiral and

49:27

distracting us more from what we actually

49:29

want to create . And for most business owners

49:31

most business

49:33

owners want to

49:36

have a good fucking time . That's what I've realized

49:38

. Most business owners decided

49:41

to go into business for themselves because they wanted to have a flexible

49:43

fucking schedule . That's what

49:45

most people decided wanted when they decided

49:47

to go into business for themselves . They wanted , like , to

49:49

be able to choose when they work , to have some sort

49:51

of like creative control over their work , to

49:53

do something meaningful , maybe

49:56

express their creativity . And

49:58

I just am like , okay , let's come back

50:00

to that and the reality of that , because you

50:03

take a few steps in

50:05

to figure out how to make it happen . And the next thing , you

50:07

know , it's like so many of us have lost sight of all the

50:09

reasons why we even came here and

50:11

are now sucked into this machine of

50:13

like this

50:15

is how you do business . That recreates all the things

50:17

that we hated about our jobs .

50:20

Yeah , yeah , it just becomes more

50:22

business as usual , but with just a different face on it

50:24

.

50:26

I don't know . I hope that we can have different kinds of

50:28

conversations here , and probably we're gonna often

50:30

miss the mark . That's fine too . We're

50:32

gonna figure it out together , but at least

50:35

there will be some nuance and fucking context

50:37

.