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Not With a Wave but a Whimper

Not With a Wave but a Whimper

Released Saturday, 12th November 2022
 1 person rated this episode
Not With a Wave but a Whimper

Not With a Wave but a Whimper

Not With a Wave but a Whimper

Not With a Wave but a Whimper

Saturday, 12th November 2022
 1 person rated this episode
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

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0:01

Language supposedly has

0:03

all these rules. Most of us

0:05

never have to think about those rules. the

0:07

hidden hand of language guides nearly every

0:09

interaction we have with other people determining

0:12

whether we connect, entertain, confuse,

0:14

insult, or dazzle the people we communicate

0:17

with. In radio lingo,

0:19

the new podcast from Duolingo and Crooked

0:22

Media, we explore how language shapes

0:24

our world and how our world shapes

0:26

language. I'm Amadell Yuk.

0:29

I'm an audio journalist in James Beard award

0:31

winning writer. I am an awv language

0:33

and it's complexed and its simplicity, the

0:36

way we can use it to create both distance and

0:38

understanding. I'm going to

0:40

be your guide. Join us as we

0:42

take you on quick stick journey. From

0:45

crooked media and dual lingo, this

0:47

is radio lingo, starting November

0:49

fifteenth on your favorite podcast apps.

1:04

Welcome to love

1:06

it or leaving live or else

1:08

coming at you. From the other

1:10

side of a red wave so small,

1:12

I could have served it. The

1:16

person who could not stand up on

1:18

a surfboard on

1:19

land.

1:22

Calvunga. We're all surfing

1:24

the red wave. Holy shit. Listen.

1:28

A couple of you, I'm gonna assign a duty.

1:31

Here's your duty. Keep an eye on that John Ralston

1:33

Twitter thread. Alright? Well, I wanna know the

1:35

exact moment. If it happens and bite was

1:37

comes out Saturday. I

1:39

wanna know if our Catherine Cortez Masto

1:42

pulls ahead of that fucking Schmuck. Alright?

1:44

I'm sick of waiting. I'm watching that fucking

1:46

New York times that every day, find

1:49

those votes goes to Harry Reid.

1:55

We

1:55

had so many conversations leading up to tonight's

1:57

show about

1:58

what we would do to buck everybody

1:59

up. What

2:03

are we

2:03

how are we gonna how

2:06

are we gonna in the face of a brutal

2:09

defeat? remind everyone

2:11

that this is a long and hard fight over

2:13

many years. Win or lose, we

2:15

were gonna have to stay in it to fight for

2:17

democracy, that even if we lost

2:19

the house by dozens and dozens of seats,

2:21

and even if every one of our favorite senate

2:23

candidates was defeated by Schmucks and quacks,

2:25

the fight would continue. The work

2:28

would go on. Don't

2:29

need any of it.

2:30

And

2:35

the thing about it

2:37

is we can't really pat ourselves on the back

2:40

too much. Because I think

2:42

deep down, we know whatever the analysis

2:44

and we'll get into the details and I'm sure

2:46

John will walk me through cross

2:49

tabs or whatever he does on his iPad.

2:52

Take me to the wilderness and I'll

2:56

try as hard as I can to get back to the

2:58

city as quickly as I can. And

3:00

it is exciting, it is inspiring that

3:03

in the places where abortion and democracy

3:05

was really at stake, a bunch of

3:07

people came together and either split their ticket

3:10

or came out to vote against these radical

3:12

Republicans, that Republicans being against basic

3:14

human rights Republicans coming out against the

3:16

basic tenets of art was enough

3:19

to bring together a bipartisan majority

3:21

of people to turn off independents, some

3:24

Republicans, and all the Democrats we needed.

3:26

And think that is a sign of hope

3:28

that this machine, though it is sparking,

3:31

that it is throwing off a

3:33

bunch of nuts and bolts, we probably

3:35

wished we're still somewhere inside the apparatus.

3:38

This car still drives, not as well

3:40

as we'd like, not as fast as we wanted

3:42

to go, but she moves. We've

3:46

got a great show for you tonight. Crooked's own, Anne

3:48

Helen Peterson, is here to give some work advice.

3:50

So everyone here, if you have a professional

3:52

quandary, Start thinking of how to

3:54

anonymize the villains in your office now.

3:58

Abid elementary's Lisa and Walter

3:59

is here to prove that she

4:02

has been in every thing. Paul Sheer

4:04

and Amy Nicholson are gonna play a little game

4:06

to test your classic movie knowledge, and Matt

4:08

Rogers is back with

4:09

a full orchestra. to talk about tar.

4:14

We had actually had a whole thing like how do

4:16

we walk through all the mid term news that says really

4:19

bad and we're like, alright, here's what we do. We

4:21

get Matt Rogers out here. He'll be really

4:23

funny, then I'll deliver the medicine. But

4:25

we're just gonna do it anyway. So it's just gonna be all

4:27

good stuff. Plus, hot

4:29

takes because for once politics hasn't put

4:31

us in the mood to rant. But

4:33

first, let's

4:34

get into it. What

4:36

a week?

4:40

Well, well, well, Looks

4:44

like the long hyped red wave never

4:46

materialized on election night, I've seen

4:48

bigger red waves come out of Don Junior

4:50

Snort Nustral.

4:51

If

4:54

you ask me Republicans to meet a lot of women feel

4:56

terror when a red wave doesn't show up, about

4:58

time they got a taste of their own fucking medicine.

5:03

With a lot of

5:05

races still too early to call, the two parties remained

5:07

locked in a surprisingly close battle for control

5:09

of both the House and the Senate, one of the

5:11

biggest democratic victories of Tuesday nightly

5:13

tenant governor John Federman,

5:16

who

5:17

looks like what happens when a drunk pen

5:19

student screams Philadelphia while

5:21

kicking a jeannie's ass. One

5:24

has senate raise in Pennsylvania defeating Trump

5:26

endorsed quack doctor Oz and

5:28

flipping the seat It seems the small

5:30

minded voters of Pennsylvania just weren't ready

5:32

to accept a gifting New Jersey millionaire

5:35

no matter how many dogs he murdered.

5:41

Democrats charged Shapiro also prevailed in the

5:43

Pennsylvania governor's race against Trump endorsed

5:45

Republican and Confederate cos

5:47

player Doug Nastiano, the Jews

5:49

needed a win this week. Pennsylvania, not only

5:51

have you elected a great governor. You've

5:53

done a mitzvah. Everybody

5:57

take us mitzvah, motties

5:59

of everybody. Meanwhile,

6:02

in Georgia senator Rafael warnock in human

6:04

abortion fund Hershel Walker, we'll

6:08

we'll head to a December runoff as neither

6:10

a fifty percent of the vote even as warnock

6:12

led. Alright. So all these Republican

6:14

big shots came through the state and

6:16

convinced all their Republicans who are gonna

6:18

vote for Kemp and show up for the congressional

6:20

votes to hold their nose and vote for

6:22

Hershel Walker to participate in this

6:24

fucking farce. Now, they have

6:26

to do it all over again. and tell them

6:28

to get in their cars and drive across

6:30

town to their polling places for

6:32

the sole purpose of casting

6:34

a vote for this obviously unfit,

6:37

unqualified guy. And it could

6:39

work. It absolutely, of course, could work,

6:41

but think about how much more fun we get

6:43

to have. While they're desperately trying

6:45

to drag this guy across the finish line,

6:47

we just get to convince people to vote

6:49

for a righteous and maleflous pastor

6:51

who everyone fucking loves.

6:56

There's this sort of conversation going on

6:58

now among Republicans, and they use this

7:00

term candidate quality. They

7:02

call it candidate quality, like it's a

7:04

Subaru that rattles on the highway.

7:06

You know, like it's a build issue,

7:08

like a a small problem they can solve

7:10

when these people are insurrection and

7:12

full fucking queuing on psychos,

7:15

this is not a rattle on the highway.

7:17

These people are pinto's. if

7:19

you bump the fender, the door is no

7:21

longer open and the engine catches fire.

7:23

It's not don't call that candidate

7:25

quality. You have a

7:27

candidate quality problem. Yeah.

7:29

You have a base problem. The

7:31

problem isn't that a bunch of fucking

7:33

assholes are running for Congress, The problem

7:35

is Republican voters look

7:38

down the list of people you offer and

7:40

choose the biggest human fucking

7:42

piece of shit possible. And

7:45

everyone's like, oh, man, Trump really

7:47

fucked us by endorsing all of these terrible

7:49

Republicans as if he wet door to

7:51

door and threatened the voters. No.

7:53

He said, I really like this person. He's

7:55

as big an asshole as I am. They're like, we're

7:57

in.

7:59

You mad at Trump. You mad

8:02

at your voters. Everyone's

8:04

acting like things are happening to the Republican

8:06

Party. No. No. No. The Republican Party

8:09

is happening to us.

8:10

YOU

8:12

CAN ACTUALLY SEE FOX'S COVERAGE DIVOLVE OVER

8:15

THE NIGHT AFTER STARTING OUT SO

8:17

VERY HOPEFUL. Reporter:

8:17

WASHINGTON AND MANY OF THE STATES

8:20

ACROSS THE COUNTRY ARE GOING TO HAVE A LOT changes when

8:22

they wake up tomorrow or by the end of the week when we have

8:24

final results?

8:25

Mhmm.

8:26

Look. They

8:29

have spent weeks building

8:31

up the expectation that this

8:33

was gonna be not just a red wave, but

8:35

a red tsunami. And so when all

8:37

your coverage is predicated on maintaining the

8:40

illusion of total victory. It can be

8:42

hard to keep that illusion going as

8:44

the night continues, but they

8:46

did try. What do you

8:47

think this election then? Well,

8:49

all I have are anecdotes and

8:51

they're positive anecdotes.

8:56

That's

8:56

the kind of thing you tell your friend

8:58

the morning after they get black out at their

9:00

thirtieth birthday. interpret

9:05

election results. Overall, from

9:07

Mastriano to Oz to Michigan

9:09

gubernatorial candidate Tudor, Dixon, a gratifying

9:11

number of Trump endorsed candidates

9:13

absolutely ate shit

9:15

on Tuesday.

9:18

But according to doctor Oz, that's

9:20

apparently really good for your gut biome.

9:22

So maybe they'll

9:24

recover. When

9:26

asked on Wednesday how he felt about Republican

9:28

chances of taking the senate, senate minority leader

9:30

Mitch McConnell replied, I don't

9:32

deal in feelings. Sadly

9:36

for Elaine Chao McConnell got this line from

9:38

his wedding bounce.

9:39

There

9:42

were a

9:43

few unfortunate exceptions, of course,

9:45

among them Peter Till's word donkey j d

9:47

vans defeated congressman Tim Ryan, by a

9:49

wider margin than predicted. Vance, of course,

9:52

was criticized for saying that Trump could be

9:54

America's Hitler before completely reversing

9:56

himself and seeking Trump's endorsement.

9:58

As the saying goes, if you can't beat

9:59

his comp join his comp.

10:02

What are you

10:05

doing exactly? I

10:07

don't care when you are.

10:08

And one of the more shocking turns of the

10:10

midterms New York congressman Sean Patrick

10:12

Maloney, the Chair of the Democratic Congressional

10:14

Campaign Committee was unseated by

10:16

his opponent marking the first time a campaign

10:18

chair from either party has failed to be

10:20

reelected in forty two

10:22

years. I guess now

10:23

he'll be home baloney. Alts.

10:29

More like Sean Patrick baloney.

10:32

I put that

10:32

in so many slacks and it didn't make it into any of the

10:35

scripts. Nothing. Sean Patrick

10:37

Bellone sitting right there.

10:41

Sean Patrick Bologna lost after deciding

10:43

to run. And

10:46

what he thought would be a friendlier

10:48

district following New York's redistricting process hear

10:50

that decision for his Mondir Jones to run a New York

10:52

City district where he lost his primary.

10:54

To put this in New York terms, Maloney is the guy

10:56

who shows in front of you in line at Russ and Daughters,

10:58

gets the last bomb cut and then somehow

11:00

fumbles into the Hudson River. Almost

11:03

immediately after Maloney conceded, Jones tweeted

11:05

a single word yikes. That

11:10

scramble to find districts wouldn't have happened if

11:12

several conservative judges appointed by Andrew

11:14

Cuomo hadn't thrown out a much more Democrat

11:16

friendly map and taking redistricting power away

11:18

from the legislator altogether, you can

11:20

take the status out of the Cuomo, but you

11:22

can't take the Cuomo out of the status

11:24

Cuomo. Fuck.

11:28

Thank you. Thank you.

11:31

Tuesday was a huge night for abortion rights

11:33

with voters holding abortion protections and

11:35

rejecting new restrictions in

11:37

all five states where they were

11:39

on the ballot, including in deep

11:41

red Kentucky as one Fox news comment or

11:43

put it, Republicans underperformed because

11:45

Democrats win independence in a

11:47

non presidential year. Just no polls saw

11:49

that comment, and it was because these women just

11:51

went crazy. You

11:54

know women? Women

11:58

be shopping for their for

11:59

their human rights. Just to

12:03

be clear, so when women go crazy,

12:05

they entrain basic freedoms into

12:07

state constitutions. When men go

12:09

crazy, they have to grease the street lamps

12:11

in Philadelphia.

12:17

Four to five states that voted on this voted to

12:19

remove language and loopholes in their constitutions

12:21

that allowed forced labor as a

12:23

punishment with Louisiana being the

12:25

one holdout. Turns out

12:26

you can't have six hundred parades a

12:28

day without at least some forced

12:30

labor. According to the

12:32

Louisiana government, your freedom is

12:34

not, cajun accent, gay or own tea, I

12:36

couldn't do it. I couldn't commit. Malcolm,

12:38

I'm sorry. I want it to. I just I'm gonna try

12:40

again. I'll try. Get your own tea. I can't do

12:42

it. Doesn't doesn't feel right.

12:44

Doesn't feel right. Meanwhile,

12:47

in a news nation interview that aired Tuesday

12:49

evening, Donald Trump was asked about the power

12:51

of his endorsement for Republicans, and he

12:53

said this, Well, I think if they

12:55

win, I should get all the credit. And

12:57

if they lose, I should not be blamed at

12:59

all. Okay. Yes.

13:07

That is how every one of us

13:09

should live this way. That is how we go through

13:11

every day. Come

13:13

on. This straight

13:15

phase two camera. If I win, I

13:17

did it. If I lose, you did it. Fucking

13:21

love it. That's cool. We're

13:23

gonna use a little more heads I win tails

13:25

you lose on our side. privately

13:27

Trump

13:27

was reportedly furious about the

13:29

GOP's flop in the midterms and blame

13:31

Melania for advising him to endorse doctor

13:33

Oz. When reached for comment, Melania

13:35

clarified actually just said I thought he should see a

13:37

doctor. As

13:41

Arizona's vote continue to be counted, gubernatorial

13:43

would be Cary Lake publicly accused

13:45

Rhonda a scientist of benefiting from a conspiracy

13:47

to slow roll her victory along with

13:49

that of Senate hopeful Blake Masters in an

13:51

attempt to discourage supporters of this

13:53

election's mega flops. And

13:54

so they slow roll the results.

13:57

You know, Rhonda Santos goes out, gives his

13:59

big speech, and then they wanna make it look

14:01

like the Trump Republicans don't have

14:03

a chance

14:04

Yes. Yes. Tear each other

14:06

apart. Savage each other like

14:08

so many spray tan crabs

14:10

fighting in a Mickelindel brand, my

14:12

barrel. Everybody

14:15

should figure out how to look as good as Carrie Lake does

14:17

in every goddamn shot. She

14:19

never misses. I don't know how she

14:21

does it. She

14:21

like the way they used to shoot Barbara Walters just

14:24

like mystical, almost like an

14:26

angel through, like, three inches of gauze.

14:28

I wanna be shot that way.

14:30

And another thrilling moment, Donald Trump

14:32

threatened his perspective Republican challenger,

14:34

Rhonda Sanchez, saying to reporters, if he

14:36

did run, I will tell you things about him

14:38

that won't be very flattering I know

14:40

more about him than anybody other

14:42

than perhaps his wife who was

14:44

really running his campaign. I

14:47

know

14:47

more about him. that I

14:48

know about myself, Trump said, before

14:51

searing wistfully into the distance. Trump

14:55

went further today, taking aim a

14:57

conservative outlets blaming him for the mid term disappointment

14:59

and focusing the full force of his

15:01

all you can eat word salad bar

15:03

on DeSantis. Trump put

15:05

out an absolutely magnificent

15:08

statement on what you call true social

15:10

that is so dramatic and

15:12

bitchy. It has real housewife energy. It

15:14

has gay energy. And here to read

15:16

an abridged version. It's

15:19

Matt Rogers. Hi,

15:19

Matt.

15:21

Here

15:21

to be gang. Let's hear it. Great.

15:24

Let's hear what Trump had to say.

15:26

now that midterms are over

15:29

and a success. News

15:33

Corp, which is Fox. The

15:35

Wall

15:35

Street Journal and

15:37

the no longer great New York

15:39

Post. Bring back call

15:41

We don't know what that is. Is

15:45

all in for governor, Rhonda,

15:48

thank harmonious. an

15:51

average Republican all caps

15:54

governor with great public

15:56

relations

15:57

who didn't have to close-up his state

16:00

but

16:00

did

16:01

unlike other Republican governors

16:04

and who has the advantage of

16:06

Sunshine

16:10

Where People

16:15

from badly run states up north

16:17

would go no matter who the governor

16:19

was just like I did.

16:24

Ron came to me in desperate

16:26

shape in twenty seventeen. He

16:29

was politically dead. Losing

16:32

in a landslide to a very

16:34

good agriculture commissioner Adam

16:37

Putnam, Who was loaded

16:39

up with cash and great poll

16:41

numbers? Rod had

16:43

low approval, bad polls,

16:45

and no money. But he

16:48

said that if I would

16:50

endorse him, he

16:51

could win.

16:53

I didn't know Adam. So I said, let's give it

16:55

a shot, Ron.

16:59

It was as though to use

17:01

a bad term. A

17:02

nuclear weapon went off. Years

17:06

later, they were

17:07

the exact words that Adam

17:09

Putnam used in describing Ron's

17:12

endorsement He said,

17:13

I went from having

17:14

it made with no

17:17

competition to immediately getting absolutely

17:19

clobbered after your endorsement.

17:21

And now,

17:24

Ron DeSink demonious is playing

17:26

games. The

17:31

fake news asks him if he's

17:33

gonna run, if president Trump runs, and

17:35

he says he says, I'm only

17:37

focused on the governor's race.

17:39

I'm not looking into the future.

17:43

Wow. In terms of

17:45

loyalty and class, It's

17:47

really not the right answer.

17:50

This is just

17:52

like in twenty fifteen

17:54

and twenty sixteen. a

17:56

media assault collusion.

18:01

When Fox News fought me to

18:03

the end until I won, and

18:06

then they couldn't have been nicer or more

18:09

supportive. The Wall Street

18:11

Journal loved low

18:13

energy Jeb Bush and

18:15

a succession of other people as they

18:17

rapidly disappeared from

18:19

site. finally falling in line

18:21

with me after I

18:23

easily knocked them out. One

18:26

by one. We're

18:28

in exactly the same position now. They

18:31

will keep coming after us.

18:34

Mega.

18:34

But

18:39

ultimately, we will win. Put

18:41

America first and

18:43

make

18:44

America Great.

18:47

Again. Matt

18:52

Rogers, everybody. See you in a bit. See you in a bit. See you

18:54

in a bit. I'll be back. be back. He'll be

18:57

back.

18:59

We were talking

18:59

about that same. First of all,

19:02

amazing. I forget towards the end,

19:04

it really gets Ursula to Sea witch energy.

19:06

And you, like, basically, could

19:08

refer to, like, the other Republicans

19:10

as his poopies. What a

19:13

queen. In seeing this

19:15

start, we were talking about this

19:17

today in the crooked newslack. We

19:19

forgot that twenty sixteen It

19:21

was a little bit fun right up until it wasn't. And I'm not gonna

19:23

forget that it stops being fun.

19:26

But

19:26

come on. Meanwhile,

19:30

as Hurricane Nicole made landfall

19:32

in Florida this week, Trump reportedly decided to ride

19:34

it out at Mar a Lago despite a mandatory

19:37

evacuation order Set a national guard

19:39

representative half heartedly.

19:40

No, don't. Stop. It's dangerous.

19:44

Look, it's

19:46

fines that Trump

19:49

holding up a weather map with the word fine,

19:51

sharpied over far a lot. In

19:53

other news over

19:53

at what is left of Twitter, Elon Musk launched

19:56

Twitter Blue, and the platform immediately

19:58

became flooded with fake accounts in

20:00

personating public figures as

20:02

literally everyone told

20:04

him it would. This is like

20:06

that seed in Spartacus, but everyone hates

20:08

Spartacus and just stood up ironically. Norwegian

20:11

princess Martha Louise has surrendered her royal

20:13

duties to focus on her alternative medicine business

20:15

with her fiance a self

20:17

professed shaman, and the shaman's name is

20:20

says here. Oh, no. It's

20:21

doctor Oz. KFC's

20:25

German division has apologized for sending

20:27

an app alert that read. It's

20:30

Memorial Day for Crystal

20:32

Nacht. treat yourself with more

20:34

tender cheese on your crispy chicken

20:37

now at k f cheese.

20:40

They also apologized for the accompanying

20:43

depiction of colonel Sanders saying we

20:45

intended his new mustache to be a nod to

20:47

Charlie Chaplin.

20:49

The National Park Services urge

20:52

visitors to please stop licking the

20:54

sonoran desert toad, which secretes

20:56

a psychedelic toxin. This

20:58

news, however, is how I learned you

21:00

can do that, which makes

21:02

me think of the strides end effect. That's

21:04

when you're so fucked up on psychedelic

21:07

toad talks. in, you think you're Barbara Streisand.

21:09

I was in Costa

21:12

Rica once doing a

21:14

zip line, came across a group of

21:16

gays talking about the fact that a little toad had

21:18

jumped onto their balcony and one of them

21:20

touched it and all of a sudden got light

21:22

headed as if it was like

21:24

poppers. and we joked that he was gonna bring one

21:26

of those frogs home and have it in the drawer

21:28

next to his bed. And when someone asked what

21:30

that toad was there for, he'd say it's

21:32

for cleaning my VCR. Canadian

21:38

prime minister Justin Trudeau will make

21:40

history by becoming first world leader to appear

21:42

on RuPaul's Drag Race. Trudeau said

21:45

to reporters, I'm sorry there's been a

21:47

misunderstanding. I was trying to do

21:49

race drag. What?

21:53

A US Air Force pilot

21:55

flew a penis shaped flight path with

21:57

the business end of the deck pointed directly at a

21:59

Russian

21:59

base and what the air force insisted was a

22:02

total accident. Harder to explain

22:04

was why the flight path spelled

22:06

gargle them under the balls.

22:09

And finally, in

22:11

Florida, twenty five

22:12

year old Maxwell Frost won a houseie

22:15

to become the

22:15

first Gen Z member of Congress.

22:18

Don't

22:20

worry, Max. You're gonna fit right in.

22:22

You and Diane finds I can bond about

22:24

how neither one of you remembers nine

22:27

eleven. When we

22:30

come back, a requiem

22:32

for Twitter's main character. And

22:37

we're

22:39

back.

22:41

Well,

22:41

Elon Musk might be playing forty chess with

22:44

his takeover of Twitter, but as anyone who plays

22:46

chess will tell you, that's too many

22:48

dimensions. Earlier

22:50

today, Elon Musk called the townhome

22:52

meeting for Twitter's employees, all of which was

22:54

basically live tweeted by his disgruntled staff,

22:56

informing them that bankruptcy is not out

22:58

of the question for the platform. Of course,

23:00

This was after Twitter's chief information security

23:03

officer, chief privacy offer, and chief

23:05

compliance officer, all resigned Wednesday night.

23:07

You can't blame them as much new rollout of

23:09

Twitter Blue has indicated the platform with

23:11

fake accounts pretending to be actual

23:13

notable figures all in an effort to make a few

23:15

bucks as Musk acts more erratic With the

23:17

platform's financial and security features, the

23:19

FTC even issued a warning Thursday that

23:21

they are tracking recent developments at

23:23

Twitter with deep concern. And as we are writing this intro,

23:25

the two top executives at Twitter, the

23:27

company's head of trust and safety and the head of

23:29

sales also resigned. In

23:31

the words of his startup, brethren, it seems Elon may have moved

23:33

fast and broke Twitter.

23:35

There's no telling how long the platform

23:37

will stay afloat. or how long any of us will cling

23:39

to the slur covered debridges before

23:42

begrudgingly swimming over to Mastodon, whatever that

23:44

is. Personally, I refuse to

23:46

be rescued. But

23:48

but since Twitter may be in its final days, we

23:50

wanted to take a moment to honor the

23:52

heroes, the fallen soldiers. Please remove your

23:54

hat and place your retweeting hand on your

23:56

heart as we remember the main

23:58

characters of Twitter.

24:03

Cinnamon

24:06

Toast shrimp guy. March twenty twenty one.

24:09

His account of finding shrimp tails in a

24:11

box of cinnamon toast crunch captivated

24:13

the nation. How

24:15

did the shrimp tails get in there? To

24:17

what lengths would he go to find out? Was

24:19

the whole thing a desperate roost for

24:21

attention? He was the husband of Topanga

24:23

from world. And for a few

24:25

fever days, he was Twitter's cinnamon shrimp

24:27

king. But his time on the throne was

24:29

cut short when several former girlfriends and

24:31

colleagues came forward to accuse him of abusive

24:33

behavior. and he abruptly stopped tweeting, never to go viral

24:36

again. You either die a shrimp guy

24:38

or live long enough to become a

24:40

bad boyfriend. when

24:42

we come back. A trip to the

24:45

movies.

24:50

And we're back. I know

24:53

we've been talking about the

24:55

midterms a lot, but I just wanted to reiterate how

24:58

incredibly thankful and proud of everyone listening to

25:00

this podcast. and everyone who listened to all of the

25:02

crooked shows and everybody who signed up at Vote

25:04

Save America, you did an incredible job

25:06

volunteering phone banking, getting out the vote

25:08

in this midterms, giving a fuck

25:10

does work, We really did make a

25:12

difference in a bunch of swing districts, and we

25:14

have a bunch more work to do as we head to twenty twenty four.

25:16

But thank you to everybody listening.

25:18

who did something, who donated, who volunteered, who showed

25:20

up, who voted, who got their friends and family to

25:22

vote because we all went into this thing, not

25:24

knowing what was gonna happen, all afraid

25:26

of how bad it could be, but because people showed up and did

25:28

the right thing, we did so much better than

25:30

anybody predicted. And that is in large part of the thing

25:32

to everybody who participated in Vote

25:35

Save America and getting the opportunity to

25:37

be part of Vote Save America is the proudest and

25:39

most exciting part of being part of Crooked

25:41

Media. So thank you to everybody who

25:43

signed up You

25:45

made a huge difference. We get emails

25:47

all the time from campaigns, and

25:49

they tell us that the people who signed up through

25:51

Vote Save America, the people who show because they came

25:53

through crooked pods and signed up to volunteer are

25:56

the best volunteers they have. They don't

25:58

just show up. They show up. They do shift

25:59

after shift. they make a huge difference. We've heard it

26:02

from Ben Wickler in Wisconsin. We heard it

26:04

from campaigns in California. We hear it from

26:06

all across the country. So thank you. And

26:09

because

26:10

of all of that hard work, even

26:12

as we

26:13

look towards a runoff in Georgia, where we're gonna

26:15

have to keep fucking hustling, This weekend's

26:17

for us. Alright? And we're gonna enjoy other pursuits

26:19

and here to take us out to the

26:21

movies. It's the host

26:22

of the unschooled podcast Paul

26:24

Sheer and Amy Nicholson.

26:26

Hey, everybody.

26:27

Amy, hi. How are you?

26:29

I was hoping to see you. Great to see you.

26:31

Hey, Amy. I gotta tell you John,

26:33

you made me upset even mentioning

26:35

twenty twenty 4II

26:37

just wanna enjoy this week for -- Yeah. -- a

26:39

couple of months. You're absolutely right. Yeah. You're

26:42

absolutely right. said we got a lot to do, and I was

26:44

like, oh, yeah. We do. We do. But you know

26:46

what? The rest of twenty twenty two, that's our

26:48

fucking time. I love it. Alright. The rest of twenty twenty two

26:50

is for chilling out an in fight That's all we need to

26:52

do. Give me a Christmas tree

26:54

already. Get some lights up. Let's just go.

26:56

Let's just move quickly through

26:58

the next Absolutely.

26:59

Yeah. Hi, Amy. Hello. How

27:01

are you doing? So I just wanna

27:03

note that all of these questions well,

27:06

you'll understand. Would you we to this place for

27:08

magic? This

27:09

is the

27:10

most phantom of the opera

27:13

looking podcast I've ever seen

27:15

in my life. So yes. I I do wanna talk about this

27:17

Nicole Ki

27:17

Bin thing. Does she know

27:19

that it's become memeable? Like

27:21

And then if your AMC

27:24

how do you approach Nicole Kidman? Do you go, like,

27:26

Nicole, we got

27:27

this. Like because Nicole Kidman, to

27:29

me seems like someone who has never gone to

27:31

a movie that's not a premier.

27:33

and they don't mean that in a derogatory way. It just

27:35

feels like she's not like, oh,

27:38

Clifford's a big red dog. I'll go see it. Fuck it.

27:40

Like she doesn't seem like I'm just gonna go

27:42

into this AMC. Yeah. A part of me does

27:44

on some level believe she is

27:46

the character she played in the others?

27:48

Yeah. And that she is some

27:50

kind of I don't wanna spoil

27:52

the others. two thousand and three's the

27:54

others. But but

27:56

that she is sort of

27:58

trapped, you know, in a certain time

27:59

and space. See,

28:00

I don't believe that. I believe Nicole Kidman

28:02

is really that picture have you seen that picture

28:04

from her the day she got divorced from Tom

28:07

Cruise? Where she's in a tank top

28:09

and she's screaming and her eyes are open and she's wearing, like,

28:11

mismatched outfits. Oh. She kinda looks

28:13

like she's in Daytona Beach. Okay. Wow.

28:14

Yeah. I love it. Like, that's the

28:16

Nicole Kidman who gets drunk and goes and sees

28:19

Clifford.

28:19

in the afternoon. But you see, I haven't seen that Nicole Kidman

28:21

for such a long time. I feel like she's

28:23

much more -- Very controlled. -- controlled

28:26

Kidman. I don't know. I mean, I want look,

28:28

my Best New York

28:28

City moment was I

28:30

lived on fiftieth and eighth, and

28:32

I was racing home one day

28:35

And

28:35

every now and then people will stop you from walking on the street for

28:37

whatever reason. And I just, like, kind

28:39

of busted through this crowd and I was really

28:42

walking. And I

28:43

hit a limousine whose doors open

28:45

and the cold came and popped out at the same time.

28:47

And we almost collided. And

28:50

as out of my way. And I

28:52

was like, oh, I'm a New Yorker. This is

28:54

amazing. This is a great moment to not

28:56

even care, but I was like, Nicole Given

28:58

Go. Go. Fifteen and

29:01

eight, hon. Kind of a kind of a dead

29:03

ton. Hey, health kitchen. Come on. It

29:05

was fun. I had an l shaped

29:07

apartment. It was by the ace see.

29:09

It was perfect. It was

29:11

great. I didn't have money. That was a great spot. That

29:13

was a great spot. A thousand dollars a month. That

29:15

was perfect. would

29:15

you describe that indescribable feeling we get

29:18

when the lights dim?

29:22

Indigestion? Okay. It's

29:24

nerve wracking. It's nerve wracking. I mean, as

29:26

a critic, like, I feel, like, very seriously,

29:28

when the light's dim, I'm always supposed

29:30

to kinda hit, like, a reset button in the back

29:32

of my neck say, like, be open minded. Like,

29:34

you're supposed to erase everything. And then

29:36

be like, maybe Adam Sandler made a lovely

29:38

movie. And then sometimes he does.

29:40

Awesome. is underrated and Huey

29:43

Halloween two. Not one. I

29:45

mean Huey Halloween also. I I

29:47

I'm so glad you raised this because it's been on my

29:50

mind. since you've raised it, which

29:52

is punch drug love was

29:54

so good and he's so good in

29:56

it. And I don't like, I'm always

29:58

surprised when somebody has

29:59

that kind of talent in them, but they're

30:02

like, nope, I wanna go to Hawaii

30:04

with Rob Schneider. I love

30:06

it because he's like, you

30:08

know I can get an Oscar nomination, but I

30:10

also can

30:10

do this other shit over here. Like, no

30:12

one can do that. Like, I feel like

30:14

he's he's got this amazing ability

30:16

to kind of do both.

30:18

Like, uncut gems is great. I think Hussle,

30:20

again, underrated. It's very good. It's

30:22

like a rocky story. But then I like

30:24

that he's just like and then I'm gonna do a

30:27

fart joke. for like a whole ninety minutes. Yeah.

30:29

That's right. That is cool.

30:31

I agree. I I will

30:33

say one other thing too, like, when you

30:35

said the LightStim, I was thinking that when I

30:37

saw Rec Room for Dream, another movie I don't

30:39

wanna spoil for you. they

30:43

played the second reel of that movie

30:46

twice in my screening. And

30:48

for thirty minutes, it's like, wow, what

30:51

choice. Just show

30:53

it to you again. I was like, this

30:55

is Aranovsky at his best.

30:58

letting me see it one more

31:00

time. It's so upsetting. It's

31:02

so disturbing. And I was willing to

31:04

go with it until someone came in and said

31:06

there's been a mistake. And Rosemont,

31:09

that'll happen to a movie with subtitles where they won't

31:11

have the subtitles. And you're thinking, I guess, I'm not it's

31:13

supposed to be about the vibes. Yeah. Right.

31:15

I'm in. I'm ready to go.

31:17

When I was a kid, my mom and I were going to

31:19

see I believe Toy Story, but we

31:21

accidentally went into the theater showing heat.

31:24

And

31:24

we watched,

31:28

like, five minutes of heat thinking it was, like,

31:30

a really long trailer. Like,

31:33

you thought at any minute Robert Deneer would

31:35

turn into a toy cowboy? Honestly,

31:36

that's a really like, I don't we should

31:38

have left sooner. like, I guess, this

31:40

oh, we're in the wrong theater. This is going wrong.

31:43

It was a problem. It seemed like we just were like,

31:45

I don't know. Maybe maybe it's

31:47

gonna become Yeah. Maybe it's like a reverse, you know, like

31:49

at Roger Rabbit, it starts with a cartoon.

31:51

Maybe maybe Toy Story starts with a

31:53

fucking bank robbery. When

31:55

I when I first of that

31:57

to LA, there was this cheap

31:59

ass hotel that I would stay in. I was

32:01

watching a DVD of the Man train

32:03

candidate, not the old one, but the new one

32:05

with Denzel. And and the TV

32:07

just had never been, like, color corrected at

32:09

all. So you could barely see it. It was

32:11

so dark that I was, like, me

32:13

and my girlfriend were watching. I

32:15

was, like, That's cool. Yeah. This is it.

32:17

Like, this is it. It's really moody and then

32:19

we realized, oh, no. The TV was just on,

32:21

like, zero contrast. I

32:24

actually have a discussion today about how Carrie Lake reminds

32:26

us a little bit of the Merrill Street character from

32:29

that movie. And all I retain from that

32:31

film, which I have seen one time in

32:33

the theater, is a very specific moment is when Meryl Streep

32:35

is describing the case she would make for her

32:37

son and she describes his heroism

32:39

in battle and it ends with her saying in the

32:41

desert, in the dark and she goes

32:43

like this with her fist and it is seared

32:45

on my fucking brain. Do you

32:47

remember that in the desert, in the dark? It's so

32:49

cool. Merrell so cool. So cool. Here's

32:51

a question. One time, my friend Spencer

32:53

and I, we got Chipotle burritos and we snuck

32:55

them in our pockets into a movie that we

32:57

thought was gonna be empty, but it was really

32:59

quite full. and we were

33:01

sitting towards the end and it was there was

33:03

a couple empty seats and it was the two of us and there

33:05

was, like, two people next to us and we whipped

33:07

out our super stinky

33:09

fucking Chipotle logs.

33:11

And Spencer was next to me and then that a

33:13

stranger was next to them Stranger,

33:15

Tap Spencer, and Ted, would you guys mind sliding

33:17

over because those things are really strong?

33:19

And Spencer said, now

33:22

we're good. How much

33:25

gel should we have gotten using?

33:27

A lot. A lot. We're really

33:29

villains. Yeah. Because I this is my issue

33:31

with airports too. don't bring that shit on

33:33

the plane. Like, don't like people getting

33:36

burgers and burritos. It's like, I get

33:38

it. The plane's not serving you food, but that

33:40

shit is we're in a small keep I I try respect

33:42

myself. I'm just eating trail mix, tweezers,

33:44

keep it simple. Hard disagree. Bring

33:46

whatever you want. I

33:50

ate a full sushi meal during house

33:52

bunny. Nice. Bringing

33:54

sushi into a movie theater, Nulu and

33:56

Glendale sushi. It was

33:58

like mall sushi going

33:59

to see how it's by the way. Were

34:02

you

34:02

using a fork or chopsticks?

34:04

Probably a little bit both. I probably was

34:06

using my hands too at certain points and make sure I get all that

34:08

good stuff up. when

34:09

I lived at eleven and forty third, I

34:11

would Great area. Great

34:14

area. I would wear cargo shorts, and then I

34:16

go to the movies a time square and I would put

34:18

a big mac in the left side and the fries on

34:20

the right side. When

34:22

I was living my best life

34:25

power, paralegaling by day -- Oh.

34:27

-- breaking the rules at the AMC

34:29

by night. Living my best life.

34:31

Alright. So good. So good.

34:33

Six times. Look. We've

34:35

all been been busy in

34:37

the world

34:38

of politics. But fortunately for

34:40

us, Paul and Amy have been keeping an eye.

34:42

on the AFI one hundred. It's a great position. I

34:44

like it. Thank you. And it's time

34:46

for a game we're calling dazzling images

34:48

on a huge silver screen. Still

34:52

from the Nicole. Still from the Nicole Kidman. That's accurate. It's in

34:54

there. People don't I didn't remember that

34:56

that sentence is in there because

34:59

We're still so stuck on heartbreak feeling good in a place

35:01

like this. I'm just looking at her. I'm

35:03

like, I'm living a whole

35:05

other thing just I'm

35:06

connected. I have

35:07

the t shirt that says heartbreak looks good in a place like this.

35:08

I know. It's awesome. And I feel nervous when I'm wearing it

35:10

too

35:10

in AMC, like, it's like wearing the shirt to

35:13

the concert. should she be watching days of thunder when she's saying

35:16

heart rate looks good in a place like

35:18

this? Wait. Is that what's on the screen? I it

35:21

should be. It should be days of thunder. We're far and away.

35:23

Far and away. Here's how it

35:26

works. We're gonna read you three log

35:28

lines for a movie on the AFI

35:30

one hundred the updated version

35:32

where they took out birth of a nation because come

35:34

on. The updated list twelve

35:36

years ago, there's one person of

35:38

color as a director and zero

35:40

female directors. and they've just not gotten around to updating that top one

35:42

hundred list of for twelve

35:44

years. Twelve years while Nothing

35:46

goods come out in the last twelve years.

35:49

Fargo got kicked off from

35:51

that last slip. Fargo fell off the bottom?

35:53

Yeah. Fall off the bottom and her

35:55

still on there. Come on. Ben Huron. Get it off of

35:57

there. I know. Come on. When I was a

35:59

kid, we watched Ben Huron

36:02

Laser Desk. I don't like

36:04

this player. I love it.

36:06

Flip it. Alright. Here we go.

36:08

The only way to watch

36:10

movies stop.

36:13

Here's how

36:14

that works. Alright. We're gonna

36:16

read three long lines, one of which is the correct

36:18

one, two of which Amy and Paul have

36:20

made up. Alright? Your job will be to

36:22

pick out the real log line. Or if you

36:25

select one from our guests, they get a

36:27

point. Okay. You can't have seen the full

36:29

AFI one hundred like a freak. You know,

36:31

he wants somebody who's not like not I'm a movie expert. I got this.

36:33

Be somebody who's like, I think

36:35

I know movies.

36:37

Yeah. somebody who

36:39

likes a Huey Halloween like me. And, you know,

36:41

and

36:41

maybe you're more hubby than you

36:43

are on Ketchum. I love

36:45

movies. I've seen all the Marvel movies. That's the

36:48

way. Yeah. Exactly.

36:50

I've seen the MCU with Ben app

36:52

reflect being daredevil and the new guy being daredevil. I got it all.

36:55

Old school, new school. That's my Sean

36:57

Connery. That's my Roger. more.

37:00

I love classic movies like The Mask, Ace

37:03

Ventura. I like Reeboots like

37:05

Son of The Mask. Alright.

37:09

Let's bring the lights up. And Kendra's

37:11

out there. Raise your hand if you'd like to play

37:13

the game. What's the last

37:14

movie you saw? The last

37:16

movie I saw? Yeah.

37:18

I watched Greece

37:20

two this

37:21

morning. Perfect. You

37:23

know, it doesn't get talked enough enough,

37:25

about enough, but I actually think like,

37:27

drinking in the morning and watching a movie in

37:29

the morning, give us a

37:32

question. Like, watching a movie in the

37:34

what in the morning. But with

37:36

breakfast.

37:36

Do you work

37:38

a graveyard shift in the morning is your night?

37:40

I had some work

37:41

to finish up, so I

37:43

just put on a movie before my PTO

37:45

started today. And Greece two

37:47

is my favorite movie.

37:49

Okay. Okay. Probably

37:52

relevant information. You're as a med head. Adrian's a med star of grease tube. don't

37:54

worry about it. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. And what

37:56

is your name? Alison.

37:57

Alison, hi.

37:59

hi So rude. started

38:01

attacking you before I got your name. I like to get the name before I begin the attack.

38:03

Alright. So, Alison, is time

38:05

for you to choose which long

38:07

line you believe is

38:10

correct. For the nineteen sixty seven's

38:12

in the heat of the night from

38:14

director, it says here

38:16

Norman Jewishin Here are your three options.

38:18

Oh, it's his name

38:20

as as a true person's name. A

38:22

true famous

38:24

direct It's not like that's not an

38:26

anti Semitic name. It's his real name. Oh, the

38:28

audience, like, oh, don't we don't like that. We

38:30

don't like they're on a hair sugar tonight.

38:34

They're on a hair sugar tonight. Alright. Here we go. a,

38:36

a black detective is mistakenly accused

38:38

of murder in a racist Mississippi town.

38:41

After being cleared, the town's police chief asked him to solve

38:44

that very murder. Mhmm. When an

38:45

innocent man, Sydney Poirier, is found

38:48

holding the murder weapon to a

38:50

violent crime It's up to a

38:52

racist cop with a loyalty to the law to

38:54

help clear his name in the

38:56

southern who'd done it.

38:58

And see, On the

38:58

hottest day of summer in the nineteen sixties Memphis, Sydney

39:00

Portier inadvertently starts a twenty four hour riot when

39:02

he attempts to sit at the counter of a

39:05

segregated ice cream parlor. In

39:07

the heat of the night. In the heat of the night. In the

39:09

heat of Madison. It's it's no grease too, but people

39:11

like it. Yeah.

39:14

b. b.

39:16

It's

39:16

a good answer. I like that. It's

39:18

incorrect. It's incorrect. That

39:20

yep. That's that was my nice. Paul

39:22

gets a point. There we go. Yes.

39:26

Thank you. More

39:28

people like Reese do. Anyone else like Reese

39:30

do. Bye bye. The correct

39:32

was the one about being

39:34

clear and then asked solve the

39:37

very murder of which he was accused. Next up,

39:39

its nineteen fifties

39:42

Sunset Boulevard from director

39:44

Darlie Wilder. Hi. What's your name? Ian.

39:46

You look like Kyle McLaughlin from this

39:48

angle. May just be the way the light is sitting, and I

39:50

look like this is exciting. You look like someone who say

39:52

they haven't seen sunset Boulevard, but actually has. We

39:55

were supposed to see it, but

39:57

we couldn't make it happen. So

39:59

I haven't seen it. You couldn't make it happen. It's been

40:01

out since literally the

40:04

fifties. Sorry. I couldn't

40:06

can't pull it off. Can't get it done. Which

40:08

one now? and

40:10

nineteen fifty three. What

40:12

what was the last movie that you saw?

40:14

No judgment. She made

40:15

me watch clueless. a couple

40:17

of nights. Great. Great. I I will tell you

40:20

something. I don't like she made me watch. I

40:22

don't like how it felt. I didn't like it the

40:24

way

40:26

it sounded. Did you like it? Who is Emma, by the way? I mean,

40:28

Jane Austin is classic. Trust me. I heard all

40:30

about that. I joined

40:32

past the mic. Past the mic.

40:34

Hi. What's the name? I'm Veronica. I'm sorry. What

40:36

is it? Veronica. Veronica. Hi. Let's

40:39

talk to you. Have

40:41

you seen Sunset Boulevard? I

40:44

can't remember. I don't think I have, but I know it's about.

40:46

So I think this

40:47

is cheating. Okay. Back to Ian. Back

40:49

to Ian. Back to Ian. Ian,

40:52

when someone you love is excited to share

40:54

with you something they

40:56

love, I would say, don't say

40:58

they made you watch that. But

41:00

you're right. But to be

41:02

an in defender, did you like it?

41:04

And if you didn't like it, you could be honest too. It

41:06

was a good time. Okay. It was

41:08

fine. He's lying. He didn't lie. He ate it. Oh,

41:10

wow. Wow. Okay. Alrighty.

41:12

He's on. Alrighty. And, well, I don't know

41:14

if you're not gonna like clueless you have a taste

41:16

issue, so maybe sunset Boulevardism for

41:18

you either because it

41:20

rules. Here are your three

41:22

options a. An aging starlet on her deathbed is visited by all

41:24

the roles she played as she learned how each

41:26

performance change her from

41:28

a person a person to

41:30

a star. Oh. William Gish suspected her fortunes

41:32

would change when she and her sister

41:34

Darthy left Broadway for Los Angeles

41:37

in nineteen fifteen. but she could

41:39

never have imagined they both land parts in

41:42

DW Griffith's intolerance, the

41:44

most ambitious, silent spectacular

41:46

ever made. made in nineteen fifty this Oscar winner is Hollywood's

41:48

first major try at telling

41:50

its own biography

41:52

through film. to see,

41:54

after

41:54

witnessing a monkey funeral, a

41:56

screenwriter develops a relationship with a silent film

41:58

star who's determined to have a second

42:00

act at

42:02

any cost. Ian,

42:02

what do you think? B is incredibly thorough. B is detailed.

42:04

But I'm gonna go with a because

42:07

I know Patty LePoon

42:10

played the main character on

42:12

Broadway. Oh. And she's got big aging starlet

42:15

energy. Wow. Wow.

42:20

Kendra is from the guy who's right

42:22

clueless. Ian. I love

42:24

Ian. We Ian, we

42:26

love you. in, you are wrong. You're

42:28

wrong. What is this so many

42:30

love? Everyone's

42:32

furious. The correct

42:34

answer was c. It actually does

42:36

begin with a monkey funeral. Who's

42:38

was it? Mine. Paul wins. Paul

42:41

gets a second point. Ian, thank you for

42:43

playing. What I like about Ian is you didn't hide away from

42:45

any of your thoughts. No. And

42:47

we should embrace that too. Like,

42:49

if they weren't awful

42:51

thoughts, but they were honest. And I do think that there is

42:54

something about Look, famously, Ian wears his heart

42:56

on his sleeve. Alright.

42:58

Next up, We have

43:00

nineteen thirty eights bringing up

43:02

baby. Hi. What's your name?

43:04

Hi.

43:04

I'm Erica. Erica, how

43:05

are you? I'm well. How are you? And you're promising us you

43:07

haven't seen bringing up baby. I haven't, but I have

43:10

seen a

43:10

lot of drag race references about it.

43:13

So Okay. Well, I

43:14

let's see what that does for you. That's okay. I

43:16

think by the way, you are

43:18

thinking about whatever happened to baby Jane.

43:20

Yes, I am. Oh my

43:22

god.

43:29

Alright. Here we

43:32

go. Hey, a hapless.

43:34

A hapless family intelligence. is

43:37

pursued by a daphyris and together they attempt to break her pet leopard

43:39

out of a zoo with hilarious

43:41

results. Cary Grant just lost his job and

43:43

his wife Catherine Hepburn

43:46

is the one who took it. Now the roles

43:48

are reversed as he has to become the woman of

43:50

the house. Clark Gable is a playboy

43:52

archaeologist

43:52

who has ventured to Persia on

43:56

a quest to find the Garden of

43:58

Eden, but he instead refunds a freshly hatched brontosaurus. Baby. And

44:00

a local girl played by Claude at

44:02

Colbert, who will do anything to convince him

44:04

to keep

44:06

her villages secret. Wow. Mhmm. Right, Erica.

44:07

What do you think? Oh, boy. Think about Drag

44:09

Race. I think about Drag Race. Then put

44:12

it out of

44:14

your mind. because they can't help you. They don't talk about this

44:16

one. Okay. I'm just gonna

44:18

go with b

44:18

and I have no idea why, but

44:22

Oh, no. Someone's whispering. It's a. Is a? Is

44:24

that b?

44:24

Is that b? Is that b? No.

44:27

No. No. No. No. It's

44:29

a no. It was Who's was b?

44:32

Mine. Jeez. Bam. Bam.

44:34

Right. Wow, Amy. What's happening? I

44:36

was really hoping people would get confused with the nineteen eighties movie baby

44:38

that does have a babyresource. Oh,

44:41

baby. Oh, wow.

44:42

Yeah. I was

44:44

You gotta bring up baby Some dumbbell. Well, baby boom is the

44:46

dankies. Yeah. Next up, we're gonna

44:48

go to nineteen forty two's Yankee

44:52

Doodle dandy. from director Michael Curtis. Hi. What's your

44:54

name? Alex.

44:54

Alex. Are you ready to

44:57

figure out what Yankee

44:57

Doodle Dandy from nineteen forty two is

44:59

all about? We'll

45:02

see. Okay. Alright. a a saga

45:04

of friendship in betrayal at a pivotal point

45:06

in American history, Paul Revere, played

45:09

by Paul Muney, and Benedict Arnold by Jimmy

45:12

Cagnon are fighting side by side in the

45:14

continental army when an accidental slight

45:16

from George Washington, Spencer Tracy, who would

45:18

go on receive a best supporting

45:20

actor nomination sets the

45:22

childhood chums on opposing paths.

45:23

Okay. B. The

45:25

biopic of that famous man we

45:27

all know, composer, playwright actor, dancer,

45:29

and singer, George m Cohen.

45:32

See,

45:32

the great Jimmy CAGNY plays a mobster

45:34

who sings

45:34

and dances his way through Prohibition in

45:38

this failed musical

45:39

comedy. What do you say? So you really

45:42

wanted me to not

45:42

know the answer, and it's good because I don't.

45:46

I'm just gonna go with my gut and say c makes me the

45:50

happiest. It is not c. It is

45:52

actually a

45:54

biography of George m

45:56

Cohen. But it it would be

45:58

better if it were a musical comedy starring

46:01

Jimmy CAGNY, whose was Bam. Wow.

46:04

Let's do one more and

46:06

just I'm gonna try to cheat and help

46:08

you know which one Amy's is, I guess.

46:12

Alright. It's nineteen seventy one's the

46:14

last picture show from director

46:16

Peter Bogdanovic. Peter Bogdanovic

46:18

who also played Jennifer

46:20

Melphy's therapist On the

46:22

Sopranos. Did anyone's TV go out at

46:24

the end of that? I was watching it and

46:26

I was Hi.

46:29

What's your name? I'm Audrey. Audrey?

46:31

Yes. Have you seen this movie?

46:33

No. Good. Great. Here

46:35

we go. Cool. when a rural Texas cow learns its

46:37

sole movie theater will be bulldozed for a gas station,

46:40

the theater's young projectionist

46:42

Ron Howard rallies his

46:44

friends to save the cinema triggering a showdown

46:46

between the older generation and the rising hippie

46:48

movement. An aging director

46:50

from the silent era tries to make a transition into

46:52

talkies with two young actors, civil

46:54

shepherd and Jeff Bridges, but realizes the

46:56

best things are left unsaid.

46:59

In

46:59

nineteen fifty one, teens struggle

47:01

to come of age in a harrowingly bleak

47:03

North Texas town in this movie, which makes

47:05

straight people's attempt to lose their

47:07

virginity, seem like Texas chainsaw, massacre level

47:10

bad.

47:10

Oh, no. Audrey,

47:12

what do you think? Movie theater, bulldozed,

47:16

silent movie or Texas chainsaw, virginity.

47:18

I'm gonna

47:21

go with a,

47:23

hey the bulldozing 10I

47:25

actually just

47:26

buy a body language. First of all, you're wrong. Okay.

47:28

That's fine. And was the virginity

47:32

one? It was about the teens coming of age in a bleak North Texas

47:34

town. Andy And he got a

47:36

boy. Andy got a boy. We got it. Oh,

47:38

thank god. oh god

47:40

That is our game. Thanks everybody for Thank you for Thank

47:42

you to Paul and Amy for being What a pleasure.

47:44

Go right back for Halloween. Everybody. Go

47:47

check out unschooled a fantastic pod. Going through classic

47:49

movies, you'll love it so much. It's a great podcast

47:51

to listen as you watch those old movies. So thank you

47:53

both for being

47:56

here. Let us return again to those

47:58

of

47:58

us that have gone before like the Beto

47:59

Sex

48:01

Tweed Lady. November

48:04

twenty eighteen, she was a poet

48:07

of horniness, a bard of cringe.

48:09

To most of us, Beto O'Rourke

48:11

was a promising Texas a Democrat

48:13

with a strange fondness for standing on tables. But to one

48:15

beautiful twisted mind, he was,

48:17

and I, quote, who

48:20

is all sweet and nerdy, but holds

48:22

you down and makes you come until

48:25

your calves cramp. It

48:28

takes a powerful tweet to ruin the word calves

48:32

forever. None of us has calves

48:34

anymore. We have bottom

48:36

like bluffs. And we'll

48:38

never be able to look Beto

48:40

in the eyes again. But that's the

48:42

kind of main character Beto's sex treat

48:45

lady was. a brave annihilator of language,

48:47

of discourse, and of our minds. We

48:49

salute her until our wrist

48:52

cramp. We

48:54

come back. and Helen

48:56

Peterson is

48:56

here to give

48:58

you the work advice you you desperately

49:00

need.

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And we're back.

52:26

And while all

52:27

this madness happens in the world around

52:28

us, we still have to get up every day

52:32

and make our little bowl of slop, put on our pants one trembling

52:34

leg at a time and clock in. Here to talk

52:36

to us about working to live and living to work is

52:38

the host of crooked's own

52:40

work appropriate. And

52:41

Helen Peter said,

52:44

hi

52:45

welcome. Good to see you. Thanks for being here. Thanks

52:47

for being here. Crooked

52:49

Media. We've gone hybrid. Roughly three days

52:51

and two days off. Yeah. Okay. You quote that?

52:53

Well,

52:53

I hear that some people in the office wanna be

52:56

there a little bit more. Hell

52:57

yeah. I

52:58

hear

52:59

that it's some of the guys that wanna

53:01

be in the maybe the founders who wanna be

53:03

in the office a little bit more.

53:05

cut this. Let's keep moving. I

53:09

get it. If my best friends were in the office

53:12

and my dog was in the office

53:13

too, that'd be cool. this segment

53:15

is over. So we've

53:18

kind of moved past the startup eras.

53:20

We are a family. things

53:23

like a toxic idea -- not family. Yeah.

53:25

Yeah. Families are talking. Yeah.

53:27

Yeah. It's a toxic family. Like, because,

53:29

like, Elizabeth Holmes

53:32

is your family. You know what I mean? What do you think is the right analogy?

53:34

Do you like team? I

53:36

mean,

53:36

team is

53:37

so like corporate speak. Right?

53:40

Right. I I think just because I came up through a weird

53:42

realm of academia. We're no one would

53:44

ever

53:44

say we're on the same team. I would be like,

53:46

we're fighting each other

53:47

to the desk. That's more academia.

53:50

co players. I don't know. Like, there's no good metaphor. There's

53:52

no good

53:52

what what do you

53:53

think? What's the metaphor that you would like

53:55

to use? Campus.

53:56

you know, we're all going to we're a

53:58

camp. I like campers. What about

53:59

when you were in, like, the White House? I felt

54:01

I was part of a great team and I was

54:04

desperately trying to stay included

54:06

in. Yeah. You know, hanging on, like, high

54:08

school all the time. High school. Well, I

54:10

think sometimes, I think a lot of offices

54:12

have high school vibes, which can be kind of

54:14

toxic. Right. Yes. One hundred You

54:16

hear about that a lot? It depends on the

54:18

industry. Industries where

54:18

you have older people don't feel

54:21

as high school necessarily, heard advertising agencies

54:23

described as pretty high school to me a lot, the

54:25

banking industry just generally.

54:26

Sometimes law firms like junior

54:28

associates, that sort of thing. Freddie,

54:30

I think more

54:32

than high school. I have a question. Yeah. Meetings where everybody's in a room

54:34

together, I think, are an ideal. Right? They just it's

54:37

the How many people? Talking about a meeting where people can

54:39

really talk and have a conversation. Let's

54:41

say, to eight people. Yeah. I find that six to eight people all

54:43

in a room together works. Yeah. Six

54:46

to eight people all on Zoom

54:48

doesn't work as well,

54:50

but work. Right? It's a good small room for being together as

54:52

best as you can get. It's missing some things, but you

54:54

can get have a conversation. Yeah. But

54:56

we still

54:58

totally landed on how to have a conversation when

55:00

it's five in the room and three on

55:02

the Zoom or five on the Zoom

55:04

and three in a room. It

55:06

ends up being wherever the majority is, that's the meeting, and

55:08

the other people are watching that meeting.

55:10

Especially if you have

55:11

the technology

55:14

where the people who are not in the room are like that big

55:16

in the background. Right? They're just

55:18

like overloading over the

55:20

entire conversation.

55:23

and you just it's very awkward, I think. And

55:25

this is why lots of companies are trying

55:27

to figure out this, like,

55:29

technology that may people look the same size. Right? Like, if you

55:31

were in the office. And also,

55:34

most companies don't have the the

55:36

sound stuff down quite right

55:39

So

55:39

Yes. Go stand next to the speaker. Yeah. They've just stand

55:41

next to the speaker or everyone's just in

55:43

their individual offices, zooming.

55:46

Yeah. Right? That's rough too. That's

55:48

rough too. In

55:49

the film demolition guy is in a in

55:51

a city they call San Angeles

55:53

for no reason. because

55:56

everyone knows that if we have a bad enough earthquake, it becomes a

55:58

sanctuary, doesn't make

55:59

any sense. They solve this by having

56:02

everyone in a commerce room, but every person's on

56:04

a little

56:06

screen. that rotates and faces people. Okay. Do you think we should

56:08

try that? It's

56:09

forward thinking. Right? And since they also are

56:11

not a lot of curse. If you curse, you get a citation, but

56:13

you can use your wiper butt. I

56:16

well, what

56:16

do you think? What's the perfect scenario

56:18

for you? Like, holograms like that? I like

56:21

I don't hate it. me and the metaverse.

56:23

That that's online.

56:24

I don't think so. I'd like to stay

56:26

out of Mark's metaverse for as long as

56:28

possible. Anne Helen Peterson is

56:30

graciously agreed. This is somebody who

56:34

has people from all over the world desperately seeking your counsel at all hours.

56:36

Your inbox is filled with questions that you

56:38

are unable to get to -- Yeah. -- twenty

56:40

four hours a day. We do have a lot of

56:44

The point is you here tonight have an

56:46

incredible opportunity which is to ask

56:48

and your questions how to

56:50

survive at work how to bring your true

56:52

self to work, how to get the most

56:54

out of work. Yeah. We

56:55

call it workplace quandary. That's the

56:56

word place. Quandries. Let's bring the lights

56:59

up. I believe Kendra is back out

57:01

there. Do we have a question? Oh, okay. Let's go to what's

57:03

your name? Boot. No.

57:04

No. Just

57:09

Fucking unbelievable. I don't know. This is

57:12

unbelievable. Say any

57:16

name in

57:18

the world. Sir, I It's

57:20

really nice to listen. Hi.

57:22

What's your name? John. John.

57:25

John Jesus Christ. you

57:27

could have picked any name in the world,

57:30

and you looked at me and send my

57:32

name to me. What's

57:34

your question, John? Helen

57:36

Peterson. Hi. So I've worked

57:38

at many tech startups. Wow.

57:42

Amazing. And I know. I

57:44

know. And they all suffer

57:46

from petty tyrant syndrome.

57:48

Uh-huh. As a

57:49

rank and file worker at a

57:51

tech startup, Is there anything can do other than quit?

57:53

The correct answer

57:54

specifically for this audience is that

57:56

you unionize. I think that's hard.

57:58

I think that tech used

57:59

to it. I think that they are

58:01

like, we're nimble. We're lean. We're

58:03

trying to, like, make decisions fast.

58:05

We don't have any time for things

58:07

like workers' rights.

58:08

or an HR department. Right?

58:10

But I've dropped to the Union hint

58:12

numerous times and I don't get any

58:14

traction from my colleagues.

58:15

Yeah. It's hard. Like, how do you

58:17

build solidarity amongst people who also kind of wanna be

58:19

the tyrant themselves. Yeah. Like, you can find the right

58:22

environment to try to move forward with that, and sometimes

58:24

that it's more likely to happen in

58:26

larger companies. But other than

58:28

quitting, I mean, sometimes I think this

58:30

is the thing about someone with high demand

58:32

skills, which a lot of people who work

58:34

in tech startups have those

58:36

skills. They can say, this is

58:38

too toxic. Yeah.

58:38

I'm not gonna put up with this shit,

58:41

and I'm gonna

58:42

leave. and

58:43

not many people

58:45

have that power in our

58:47

work environment. I bet it's really frustrating though

58:49

to have to over and over again and be like, oh,

58:51

look at this company. making the exact same decisions that lead

58:53

people to burn out and -- Yeah. -- leave the

58:56

company over and over and over again.

58:58

So I I mean, I guess you

59:00

could think start your own

59:02

company that doesn't do

59:04

that? That's

59:04

a solution. Okay. Or start your own company

59:06

where you rule with an iron fist.

59:10

also a solution. My very last

59:12

thing is that I have a better job now,

59:14

so I don't Amazing. Does this is no longer

59:16

a problem. Thanks,

59:18

John. Let's have another

59:20

question. I'll get one up

59:22

here. Hi. What's your name? My name is

59:24

Byron. Hi, Byron. What is

59:27

your question? My question is is I recently got

59:29

a promotion and yes.

59:31

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank

59:33

you. I am the youngest in my company

59:35

by quite a bit. Everyone that

59:38

works sort of underneath me

59:40

is quite a bit older and they

59:42

don't see me as a boss related to them yet.

59:44

How can I get them to notice me like

59:46

that. I mean, like, dorkier

59:47

clothes. It's actually

59:50

interested because I can see looking at you

59:52

that you present a white man. I

59:55

do. Yes. And usually those people

59:57

get a lot more authority even when

59:59

they're younger than

59:59

other people who

1:00:02

have to address a certain way or speak a certain

1:00:04

way or present themselves in a certain way

1:00:06

to have that vested authority? Can

1:00:08

I ask Like, is it just

1:00:10

your age do you think? Or do you think that they're

1:00:11

like I did start a bit lower and I did

1:00:14

get a promotion to go

1:00:16

above them. Yeah. Recently. So

1:00:18

it's kind of like I was at their same

1:00:20

level now a bit higher and they don't realize that yet and it's kinda odd at

1:00:22

times because they still treat me like

1:00:26

Yeah.

1:00:26

Yeah. I have a pitch. Yeah. Yeah. Tell

1:00:28

me. Here's what you do. Yep. Alright. You find

1:00:30

the oldest, widest, ballast,

1:00:34

most emotionally unavailable man

1:00:36

-- k. -- that you can and you beat the

1:00:38

ever loving

1:00:39

shit up. k?

1:00:41

My other advice

1:00:43

would other on

1:00:46

top

1:00:46

of that. I mean, I think that

1:00:48

there's a way that you can

1:00:51

start to position yourself as somewhat

1:00:52

more of authority that isn't

1:00:54

just like power move, like, sending kind

1:00:56

of passive aggressive emails or the sorts of

1:00:58

things that managers often do to kind of

1:01:00

leverage their power, assigning and

1:01:03

praising work. Right? Like, one of the

1:01:05

ways that I know someone has more authority than

1:01:07

me is when they tell me very specifically all the

1:01:08

ways that I've done a good job. First

1:01:11

of

1:01:11

all, it feels good because they're telling you that you're doing good job. But then it

1:01:13

also is showing like I am one of the people

1:01:15

who can tell you that you're doing

1:01:17

a good job. So

1:01:19

I would try approach at least at first with

1:01:22

this idea of like, how do I make

1:01:24

them feel really good?

1:01:26

And also, leverage that

1:01:27

understanding as well. So your carrot and stick approach is what I'm kind of gathering.

1:01:29

You know? Thanks,

1:01:34

Brian. Hi. What's

1:01:35

your name? Kristen. Kristen, what's your

1:01:37

question? I was, I

1:01:38

think, successful at the beginning of working in

1:01:40

my company by being really useful to

1:01:44

a lot people. Like, we have poorly scoped roles. We're growing quickly.

1:01:46

So when there's stuff to do, I was like, oh, I'll do that.

1:01:48

Or we have more managers than people who

1:01:50

do things. I was like, me. I

1:01:52

can help. I am now in

1:01:54

a role where I manage people

1:01:56

and it's less about doing things and sort

1:01:58

of enabling other people to do stuff. But

1:01:59

whenever there's floating around work. It's

1:02:02

like, oh, she'll do that. And I would like to

1:02:04

transition away from being the, like, oh, she'll do

1:02:06

that person. And I'm curious about your

1:02:08

advice is. I will also say for the people listening home that you are a

1:02:10

woman and that this is

1:02:12

oftentimes the thing that happens

1:02:12

to women in the workplace. Right? Is

1:02:15

that

1:02:15

they start doing these

1:02:17

sort of assistive jobs. Right? That they're

1:02:20

like, I don't know how to download a

1:02:22

PDF. I don't know how

1:02:23

to download PowerPoint as

1:02:25

a PDF. I don't know how to send an attachment. These are

1:02:27

all real things that people have told me about

1:02:29

some difficulties that they've had in their offices. Yours

1:02:31

might be slightly different, but you you

1:02:34

have skills And also,

1:02:36

women are often conditioned to be

1:02:38

helpers in whatever capacity, so it

1:02:40

feels natural, and then it keeps

1:02:42

going. Like, but I've grown beyond

1:02:44

that role. and

1:02:44

this is no longer my job. So how do you say that in

1:02:46

a way that is not that

1:02:48

is now passive

1:02:49

aggressive or makes

1:02:52

people

1:02:52

feel like you are

1:02:54

being a bitch. This is

1:02:56

hard. And I think that one way

1:02:58

is like you to other people, that is

1:03:01

their job now if they actually have that

1:03:03

job, or you have to point to the fact

1:03:05

you're like, I'm sorry, I I'm really

1:03:07

focused on doing this work

1:03:09

right now. Again, doing it with kindness in

1:03:11

terms of like saying, this is no longer in my

1:03:13

job description, and I have to set this

1:03:16

boundary in order to not be person

1:03:18

for the rest of my career at this

1:03:20

workplace. Because otherwise, you are gonna be the

1:03:22

person teaching people to

1:03:24

download as a PDF, save as a PDF

1:03:26

for the rest of

1:03:27

your career. So you have

1:03:28

to stop it now before

1:03:30

it becomes like your identity at that

1:03:32

workplace. It's hard.

1:03:33

Thank

1:03:34

you. Alright, Kendra.

1:03:36

Should we just go to that voice mail? Beep. Yeah. And, hi,

1:03:39

this is a voice mail. So my boss

1:03:41

is this, like, funny Jewish.

1:03:44

Alright. gay, geriatric

1:03:47

millennial. And I'm I'm

1:03:49

this, like, funny bi Jewish,

1:03:51

like, young shiny object. So

1:03:53

I've got a big range. I've got more energy. So my

1:03:56

guys my question is, like, how do you kind of gently

1:03:58

suggest to a superior that there's only room for

1:03:59

one of you and it should

1:04:02

be me? First

1:04:04

of all, III

1:04:04

prefer the word elder millennial

1:04:07

to geriatric millennial just generally.

1:04:09

I

1:04:09

agree with that. That's

1:04:11

smart. Yeah.

1:04:11

What what is your advice for this one? My

1:04:14

advice

1:04:14

would be for someone

1:04:16

to show a little fucking gratitude.

1:04:21

once in a while. And to say

1:04:24

that some of us elder

1:04:26

millennials, we have a lot left to

1:04:28

give. Alright? And it's not

1:04:30

yet time. to push us out on the ice flow. It took

1:04:32

you a while to get there

1:04:34

though. I had to think of a

1:04:36

reason. The other option he

1:04:38

was gonna ask is, what do I

1:04:40

do if my boss thinks Elon Musk is a

1:04:42

genius? Alright.

1:04:46

Alright. everybody. But what would you if your boss saying, you know asking.

1:04:48

The segment is over. Thank you, Anno

1:04:50

and Peterson. Everybody check out

1:04:52

work appropriate. It's awesome. Subscribe

1:04:55

right now. You'll love it. When we come

1:04:58

back, Lisa and Walter's

1:05:00

here. Ever

1:05:04

back, You

1:05:06

know

1:05:07

her, you love her. You've seen her

1:05:09

most recently in the hit Abbott Elementary. Please log

1:05:11

in to the stage Lisa

1:05:13

and Walter.

1:05:16

Hi. Hi.

1:05:21

Welcome. Welcome.

1:05:22

Thank you. What

1:05:24

now? What is happening here? We throw

1:05:26

the cards. We throw the cards. So I

1:05:28

we feel like your character from Abbot elementary would

1:05:30

be a big veteran, Galli degree. Oh,

1:05:32

god. Huge Federman. Huge Federman.

1:05:36

Freak. to

1:05:37

my other name for Federman. I think Melissa Shimente would

1:05:39

be big in the Federman. Not just because

1:05:41

he dresses like you just don't

1:05:43

give a shit, although that's

1:05:46

that's that's a a big selling point for

1:05:48

me personally as well. But I just

1:05:49

think because he speaks to truth, he

1:05:51

speaks what he's thinking, It seems like

1:05:53

a good dude. Like, he's just got his kids all dressed like him. He's a

1:05:55

little lurch. Right?

1:05:56

Yeah. I

1:05:58

had to

1:05:59

stop myself. because when he

1:06:02

won, right

1:06:02

after I stopped, like,

1:06:05

having an orgasm. Right? It

1:06:08

was a long

1:06:10

one. Nice. right after I finished, well, I went right to

1:06:12

Twitter, you know, as you do. And I

1:06:14

was like,

1:06:14

congrats, you giant goon.

1:06:17

I'm like, that's not I

1:06:19

can't call him that. He's a senator now. I

1:06:21

can't call him that. Can't wait to see him

1:06:23

in a suit? I don't feel

1:06:25

like that's gonna happen. Look,

1:06:27

If fucking Jim Jordan can go

1:06:29

his entire congressional career without

1:06:32

putting a jacket on, I I don't know who he

1:06:34

thinks he's kidding. I one

1:06:36

time started a thing on Twitter. I

1:06:38

wish it was real, but it wasn't. It was a

1:06:40

made up charity called jackets

1:06:42

for gym. And I had

1:06:44

people actually trying to donate

1:06:46

money to him. They were like, where do we send

1:06:48

the check? And then people were getting

1:06:50

mad, like,

1:06:52

I think

1:06:52

there's better uses for our money. I'm like, yeah.

1:06:56

You're stupid. What are you stupid?

1:06:58

So I said so

1:07:00

teachers really love

1:07:02

the way Abbott Elementary portrays the

1:07:04

obstacles. Teachers face -- Yeah. -- because

1:07:06

you had Title One Schools. What have you heard? He just tells

1:07:08

a little bit about what you've heard from teachers

1:07:10

we've heard wonderful things from teachers. In fact, I've said often,

1:07:12

you know, when people compliment us

1:07:14

online that it's really the only

1:07:18

critique that matters to not just to me, but to

1:07:20

Quinta and the cast of the show

1:07:22

is when

1:07:23

people tell

1:07:26

us we watch with our family. I went I took my side note.

1:07:28

I took my family to Disney

1:07:30

because one of the things that they give you

1:07:32

when you work on a Disney show

1:07:35

Usually, they're just like, you don't really get a lot

1:07:37

of money, but you work for Disney.

1:07:40

Like,

1:07:40

that makes up for it. But in this way,

1:07:42

it really does. they let you one

1:07:44

time a year take ten people to Disneyland. And

1:07:46

because one

1:07:47

of my I have identical twins born on

1:07:49

the same day as the twins in the parent trap.

1:07:51

Did you guys know this? is absolutely true,

1:07:53

identical boys. And one of them has a girlfriend

1:07:55

that's like a Disney adult. You

1:07:57

know these people.

1:07:59

So we we love her. She's a sweet

1:08:02

girl, but now she has

1:08:03

turned my son into a

1:08:05

Disney

1:08:05

adult. And So

1:08:08

their birthday, October eleventh, for those of you

1:08:10

who are big parent draft fans. So

1:08:13

we took

1:08:14

them all with all their friends, ten people

1:08:16

to Disneyland. And they had

1:08:18

to make lightsabers, which is two

1:08:20

hundred and

1:08:21

fifty dollars a pop if you

1:08:23

don't know this. money Disney adult. But

1:08:25

the fun thing was is everywhere

1:08:27

I

1:08:27

went, people heard

1:08:29

me talk, they

1:08:31

recognized me. and I had multiple generations say, oh

1:08:34

my god, we watch with the kids or we

1:08:35

watch with the grandparents or all of

1:08:37

us watch together. So that's

1:08:39

super super awesome. the

1:08:42

teachers tell us you portray us

1:08:44

like we're real people and you

1:08:46

dress like

1:08:47

we dress. You're not on a TV

1:08:49

show, look like TV show people. you

1:08:51

know, there's not a designer label in any of our freaking

1:08:53

clothes. We get stuff from Target,

1:08:55

Zara, h and m.

1:08:58

We dress like you

1:08:59

know, Ross, dress for less, a lot of my stuff. I

1:09:01

have like

1:09:01

six pairs of pants that I interchange.

1:09:03

I wear one

1:09:04

pair of Doc Martens for

1:09:06

the entire season. We are trying

1:09:09

to reflect teachers like they are when they're

1:09:11

dealing with their lives and the stuff that

1:09:13

they go through at school. But none

1:09:15

of it is preachy. and

1:09:18

I think that's why they enjoy it because I wouldn't wanna

1:09:21

be a part of a show that was

1:09:23

like,

1:09:23

and here's the message. I am

1:09:25

I'm much prefer

1:09:26

being in something that's funny And

1:09:28

at

1:09:28

the end of

1:09:29

it, you go, oh, there was a message. Oh, that was good. Yeah. That is the best bet.

1:09:31

That's great. That's a good point, Tim. Yeah. Alright.

1:09:33

Now while preparing for

1:09:36

your appearance, we

1:09:37

were a gog at

1:09:39

your IMDP pitch. Okay? Love that

1:09:41

word. Which inspired this game, a game

1:09:44

we're calling,

1:09:44

the game were calling Was

1:09:46

I in this? Here's how it works. The audience wants to tell us, was

1:09:49

Lisa and Walter

1:09:52

in this? Where are my big

1:09:54

Lisa and Walter heads at? Raise your hand if you wanna play and our producer Kendra back out

1:09:56

in the crowd, very audience heavy game

1:09:58

tonight. A mistake we won't

1:09:59

make again. Alright.

1:10:03

And we're gonna ask you

1:10:05

questions go back and forth.

1:10:07

Let's find somebody. What's your name?

1:10:09

I'm Erica. Hi, Lisa. Hi, Erica.

1:10:11

You're so fine. I was upset.

1:10:13

Thank you. Oh, thank you. Alright.

1:10:15

Here we go. In two thousand one,

1:10:17

celebrity chef,

1:10:17

Emeril Legasse, was set to star on

1:10:20

his own Schiller sitcom.

1:10:22

Unfortunately, the show premiere two weeks after nine eleven was

1:10:28

Was this incredible actress sitting beside me

1:10:30

in this show, Erica? I feel like

1:10:34

if you actually was

1:10:35

she was. Chris, Absolutely

1:10:36

true. Alright. Lisa, you're up. Fun

1:10:38

fact. Emeril Legasse ate four plates

1:10:41

of my Big Ziti

1:10:43

and sausage and meatballs. Cool.

1:10:47

Shit, mom. I could throw down.

1:10:49

I put my foot in

1:10:51

it. This phenomenal

1:10:52

performer, that's

1:10:54

me. voice the Courtney Cox character on

1:10:56

the animated TV adaptation of Ace

1:10:58

Ventura pet detective, which was one

1:11:00

of the three television ad rotations

1:11:03

along with the mask animated series and

1:11:05

dumb and dumber. Was I in

1:11:07

this? I'm gonna say yes

1:11:09

again. No. Somebody

1:11:11

stops her. Right. Alright. You wanna do the

1:11:13

next cops. Yeah. You wanna do the next I'll do this one. Okay. Nineteen ninety eight's the

1:11:15

parent trap directed by Nancy

1:11:18

Myers,

1:11:19

two identical twins are separated

1:11:21

birth only to be reunited at summer camp. Did I play

1:11:23

Jesse the salt of the Earth, Nancy, who is skeptical

1:11:26

of this week? have

1:11:29

Switch

1:11:30

places in order to get their parents back together. You did. You're goddamn right

1:11:36

I did. In the two thousand and four

1:11:38

rom com shall we dance, Richard Gear plays a board estate lawyer who signs up for dance lessons from the charming pony

1:11:41

not played by

1:11:44

Jennifer Lopez. leading his wife's Susan Sarandon

1:11:46

to believe he's having an affair was Lisa in this? No. You

1:11:49

bet she

1:11:51

was. I played a

1:11:51

dance student named Bobby, and I

1:11:54

finished the movie doing the

1:11:56

Waltz, the quick

1:11:59

step with

1:11:59

Richard Gear. and the cha cha

1:12:01

with Stanley 2T. The cha cha is cool. I

1:12:03

highly recommend the movie. People say

1:12:06

that doing a cha cha with

1:12:08

Stanley she does

1:12:10

often result in an unintended

1:12:12

pregnancy. That's true. Just don't

1:12:15

back up into him. In

1:12:17

two thousand three, Bruce Almighty,

1:12:19

did I play another Debbie?

1:12:19

No. Yes. Yes. I'm Jennifer

1:12:22

Anderson's sister Debbie. In

1:12:26

the Netflix series Globe, does Lisa play yet

1:12:28

another Debbie? Yeah. No. She

1:12:31

plays Loreen. She plays Loreen in

1:12:33

an episode titled Debbie does something.

1:12:35

But that's kind of a trick question because I'm Debbie's mom. I'm

1:12:37

the star Debbie. Did you see

1:12:39

Glow? Did you guys see

1:12:42

Glow? Betty Gilpin, I'm her mom.

1:12:44

Did I appear in the film more

1:12:46

of the worlds? And did my character survive? Did you appear in the film? Yes.

1:12:48

Correct. Did

1:12:50

not grow up. did arrive.

1:12:53

I really wanted to confirm today whether or not your character survived.

1:12:55

So I did find your scenes in

1:12:59

the film. And Man,

1:13:00

Tom cruise just fucking leaves you behind. He leaves me. Only

1:13:02

just, like and, like, you're you're, like, oh my god, we

1:13:04

found each other. It's so good

1:13:06

to see you thirty seconds later.

1:13:09

alien on the hill, gone. Yeah. But wait a minute. Wait a minute. Here's a fair point. Did you see the

1:13:11

movie word of the world? Okay. So

1:13:14

I'm there with at my

1:13:18

actual daughter in real life because Stephen

1:13:20

Spielberg and Tom loved that I had four

1:13:22

kids. I live in a shoe. I have

1:13:24

eight million children. So we're all talking

1:13:26

about our kids. My vagina is a clown car. These are the jokes. So

1:13:29

I went to, you

1:13:31

know, leave because I did

1:13:33

a first scene where I'm a bar

1:13:35

tender that Tom Cruise sleeps with, that's why he's late getting to his kids

1:13:37

at the very beginning of the movie. And then

1:13:39

they looked at dailies, and they figured out

1:13:42

that Tom Cruise looked like a total horror

1:13:44

bag and not a

1:13:46

good dad

1:13:46

at all. Is that what your called And scene gone. And you

1:13:48

wanna hear something even better shit?

1:13:51

Who's an actor in here? better

1:13:53

said who's an actor in here Nobody.

1:13:55

Good. Good. Nobody. Only I have an

1:13:57

early call time. Okay. So I played

1:13:59

a

1:13:59

bartender and it was all slutty.

1:14:02

It was really very hot. And

1:14:04

tonkers like, was kissing on my neck

1:14:06

and get through the whole scene. And I'm like, there's no way I'm bartender in this scene. So

1:14:08

when they gave me

1:14:11

a choice of jewelry, when

1:14:13

I was getting in wardrobe, there was like a name

1:14:15

necklace, which I'm in Jersey. I'm like, this bitch has a name

1:14:15

necklace. I

1:14:19

know that. said I'm like, I'm Cheryl now. And

1:14:21

he goes, he sees me in

1:14:23

the bartender scene, and he's like, so

1:14:25

Cheryl, listen. Come over here. And I'm

1:14:28

like, yeah. now I got

1:14:30

a name, fucker. because I'm still bartender. That's cool. In the credits. It's

1:14:32

bartender. Bartenders. So I

1:14:35

the funny is I said,

1:14:37

wait, the scene must have been in the beginning of the movie. So I look for a bar in the first five minutes of the movie, and it makes sense.

1:14:39

That's where should be. That's

1:14:42

where I find it. keep

1:14:45

going. You keep going. You keep going. Then all of

1:14:47

a sudden, it's like, Cheryl, there you are. You haven't

1:14:49

been there before. And I said that to them. I

1:14:51

said nobody knows who the hell I am or why

1:14:53

he knows me. But it actually feels like a

1:14:56

kind of tibbed in world. You're like, oh,

1:14:58

this is just Cheryl, I guess. We're Exactly.

1:15:01

And by the way, you know, Spielberg's

1:15:03

on this a time or two. Yeah. But he knows what he's doing. We're not gonna say, hey, look, is

1:15:05

his favorite movie? And in fact, listen to this.

1:15:08

Remember when video cameras

1:15:10

used to be like this big, and

1:15:12

you could no. because you're all thirty. Alright. Listen.

1:15:14

I remember. There used to be you didn't shoot on your phone. There were cameras

1:15:18

that you have to tote around. and my daughter, whose father is I'm

1:15:20

catholic, my ex

1:15:21

husband's Jewish, lovely gentleman. My

1:15:24

older two kids are

1:15:25

are Jewish, and my daughter was

1:15:27

getting her bot mitts So when they told me

1:15:29

bring one of your kids, she was having her birthday, and her Bob Mitzpa in, like, two weeks.

1:15:31

So I'm, like, Delia, you're coming with me.

1:15:33

So she

1:15:35

was my kid, and in real

1:15:37

life and in the scene, and I'm like,

1:15:39

I'm gonna produce the shit out of her bot Mitzpa video. We're opening it

1:15:41

with Tom Cruise. So I

1:15:43

had a purse

1:15:46

So I pull

1:15:48

a purse of my video camera out

1:15:50

of my purse and

1:15:51

I'm like, okay, Tom, sing have

1:15:53

you

1:15:53

birds in my daughter. And they, like, tried to,

1:15:55

like, get the camera from me, but he already loved me from

1:15:57

when we were making out. So he so

1:15:59

he's, like, nobody touched Lisa, she could

1:16:01

do whatever she wants. That's her camera,

1:16:04

she will. So they have all these

1:16:06

people around Tom Cruise when he's gonna run to the boat, and they're all

1:16:09

stunt people

1:16:11

to protect Tom. Well, when he goes over

1:16:14

the side of the boat, we lose that whole phalanx of stuntpeople and now it's

1:16:16

just me and three thousand

1:16:18

extras running down a dock to

1:16:22

the end with a boat and Daniel Fransese,

1:16:24

the comic.

1:16:25

Do you know him? Big guy

1:16:27

from Mean Girls. He's got

1:16:29

a gun I'm like, you really have to stop me

1:16:31

because it's

1:16:31

my actual daughter. I'm getting through you. If you

1:16:33

don't really stop me, he gun butts me in

1:16:35

the hip. I had to bruise this big

1:16:37

for a month and a half and then my daughter who's

1:16:40

getting jostled by all these real people

1:16:42

has got a bloody nose. I don't

1:16:44

know this. I hear from a

1:16:46

boat in the middle of the Hudson

1:16:48

River Spielberg going, great take Lisa.

1:16:50

Perfect. And Janesh Kaminsky is the DP. He goes flag.

1:16:53

And

1:16:54

everybody goes, he's

1:16:56

Polish.

1:16:56

flag. So flag on the play.

1:16:58

Here goes the little girl. And I looked down, my daughter's got blood running down her face

1:17:01

like this. And

1:17:04

Spielberg goes, you can

1:17:06

die in this movie, but you can't see a little kid bleed. And I went, Spielberg knows this.

1:17:09

because he works

1:17:12

with kids. but down the side of

1:17:14

the boat comes like repelling Tom Cruise, down the side of the boat. He lands in

1:17:16

front of me, grabs the camera out of

1:17:18

my purse, and goes, this is for the

1:17:20

lawsuit.

1:17:20

and

1:17:22

starts filming her. We got a that incredible.

1:17:24

We incredible. We have to leave it. That's amazing.

1:17:27

That's it. We have no more stories.

1:17:29

That's it. Lisa Ann Walter, go

1:17:31

watch Avid Elementary. Thank you so much. That was so much fun.

1:17:33

We come back,

1:17:36

Matt Rogers. Don't

1:17:37

go anywhere. Love it or leave it and there's more on the way. Love it or

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1:19:55

it. Good news, podcast, man. You can get America's number one late night

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Show. We love The Late Show.

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Well, I'm both a

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great listen. Listen to the late show podcast with

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Steven Colbert seven days a week available

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wherever you get

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your podcast. Twitter might soon shuffle

1:20:36

off this mortal coil, finally

1:20:38

freeing us and me specifically, but

1:20:40

we will never forget you

1:20:43

coffee woman October this year of our Lord twenty twenty two, a

1:20:45

woman tweeted, my husband and I wake

1:20:47

up every morning and bring

1:20:50

our coffee out to our

1:20:52

garden and sit and talk for hours every morning.

1:20:54

It never gets old and we never run out of things to talk about. Love him

1:20:58

so much. and Twitter exploded like the time I dropped all my mentos

1:21:01

and my daily leader of diet coke.

1:21:03

It was a massacre. People

1:21:06

replied with rage, with accusations of classism, with screams

1:21:08

about their grass allergies and caffeine

1:21:10

sensitivities. And most of all, with

1:21:13

the fury that she not them had

1:21:15

the life they wanted. Coffee with

1:21:17

someone you like, how

1:21:20

dare you. See you

1:21:22

in hell, coffee lady. And by hell, we mean Twitter because you'll have to drag my phone out of my cold, uncavinated

1:21:24

hands. Before I get

1:21:27

off this Godforsaken platform, If

1:21:31

I was happy, I wouldn't be here and I'm here because I'm

1:21:33

not happy. One lesson from the coffee

1:21:35

lady, it is this. There is

1:21:37

no sin in the content

1:21:40

game worse. than being content.

1:21:42

That concludes our Twitter main character in memoriam. Amen.

1:21:46

Alright.

1:21:48

And now here to discuss the two biggest issues

1:21:50

affecting the queer community this week, the midterms and the Kate Blanchett cinematic

1:21:53

masterpiece star. It's

1:21:56

Matt Rogers. Hi,

1:21:57

Matt. John. Alright. Thank you for being here. Oh, thank you for

1:21:59

having me. Good

1:22:02

to have you, buddy.

1:22:04

everybody Here's

1:22:05

how big dink dink dink dink. Here here's how

1:22:07

works. we we started fighting? What

1:22:13

if we did? What if we did? Why

1:22:15

why ever be might be.

1:22:18

Here's how it works.

1:22:21

I'm gonna ask Matt questions about Tar a

1:22:23

film I have not seen. What? I'm sorry. How am I feeling twice? I saw it

1:22:25

one for me and one for

1:22:28

you. It's three hours.

1:22:30

Yeah. You clearly haven't seen TAR. Is it not three hours? It's three hours, but it's worth going

1:22:36

again. But I have to go once.

1:22:38

But if it starts at nine, it's it's over at twelve, honey. And then you think about it until

1:22:40

three PM the next

1:22:43

day, you don't sleep. Tara,

1:22:45

Lydia Tara lives rent free in your mind all night. You have to see Tara. I know I

1:22:47

have to see Tara. I'm gonna see Tara right

1:22:52

after this. Alright. First

1:22:52

question, the best scene of the movie is obviously

1:22:54

the one where Lydia confronts her daughter, Petruz

1:22:59

Bully in school. Could you please re help me reenact that

1:23:01

scene with me as the bully, but know that I haven't seen the film and only can bully

1:23:04

how I

1:23:06

was bullied? in SciOS at High School. Oh my god. I forgot that

1:23:08

you went to SciOS at High School. Gary, I'm I can

1:23:10

I search? I believe you a little? No.

1:23:13

You what you should do is you should just kinda

1:23:15

stay there. because here's what happens in the film starring Kate Blendshot as

1:23:17

Lydia Tarr. So basically, there's

1:23:19

a scene where Lydia Tarr

1:23:21

was played by Kate Bunchhot.

1:23:23

She finds out that

1:23:26

her daughter's being bullied at school. In fact, she's being kicked by the bully. So she says,

1:23:28

I'm gonna drop my girl off at

1:23:30

school tonight, and she's gonna say something to

1:23:35

the bully. So she drops the kid off she goes, where is the bully? So

1:23:37

the girl sends the bully over there. So

1:23:39

Kate Blanchett walks up and

1:23:41

in perfect German, which I

1:23:44

cannot do. the following

1:23:46

sort of happens. Hi, little girl. Yeah. You say just you just answered me with one word

1:23:48

because you're afraid of

1:23:50

me and I'm Kate Blanchett.

1:23:53

Hi, little girl. Hi. Yes. Hi. I hear that you're bullying my daughter. That's gonna stop. And

1:23:56

if it doesn't,

1:23:58

I'm gonna get you. And

1:24:02

if you think that I won't,

1:24:04

try.

1:24:05

Just try. Do one thing to

1:24:07

my daughter that I don't

1:24:09

like. I

1:24:09

will come get you. And guess what? If you tell anyone that

1:24:11

I said this to you, they will believe me and not you because

1:24:14

I'm an adult and you're a

1:24:16

child. Are

1:24:19

we clear? Yeah. We're clear. Correct.

1:24:21

So that's sort of

1:24:23

what, but imagine it

1:24:25

in German. And one

1:24:27

thing I forgot, One thing I

1:24:29

forgot. Kate

1:24:31

Blanchette says, I'm petra's father.

1:24:32

So

1:24:35

the way she introduced herself to the bully is I'm Petra's father and

1:24:37

I have a problem with you. So think

1:24:39

about that. You throw her

1:24:41

off her access in such

1:24:44

a way. She's like, wait,

1:24:46

the petra's father, and then she's so confused. She can barely catch up to the fact that she's being

1:24:51

physically threatened

1:24:53

by not just a woman, that's

1:24:55

fully grown, CapelandChat.

1:24:56

On

1:25:00

top, Hundred percent. Something no one on

1:25:02

this stage knows anything about. Let's just do to our

1:25:04

questions. What are We

1:25:07

won the midterms. Right? Alright.

1:25:10

That's the answer. We won. Alright. What are the similarities between Lydia Tarr's approach to her conducting the mauler

1:25:12

cycle

1:25:12

and your approach to putting together

1:25:15

have you heard of Christmas? Oh,

1:25:19

thank you for plugging in my special. Have you heard of Christmas? Watch

1:25:21

streams on Showtime, Friday, December second.

1:25:24

Showtime. So

1:25:27

Lydia Tarr is for everyone that doesn't

1:25:29

know played by Kate Blanchett. And she's what we call a

1:25:32

Maestro. She is

1:25:35

a musical genius. She is an Egot

1:25:37

winner. She is basically known as pretty much the closest thing

1:25:40

to moats

1:25:43

art that's been since most art. So

1:25:45

that's sort of her reality.

1:25:47

I am a comedian who

1:25:49

decided they wanted to release

1:25:52

a pop music Christmas album. And the way I

1:25:54

sort of

1:25:54

learned to sing was by just making fun of other

1:25:57

singers. So I

1:25:59

would just Scribe myself

1:26:02

as not a Maestro or a genius, but I would describe myself as available on Showtime December

1:26:08

second. Do you

1:26:10

think that first chair should always have dibs at the solo? Does holding auditions ruffle too many feathers?

1:26:13

I love drama.

1:26:16

I fucking am

1:26:18

a messy little bitch. And

1:26:20

I say hold auditions. First

1:26:23

chair, if they can really

1:26:25

bring it, like or in the

1:26:27

chair. Great. Like, bring your talent to

1:26:29

the ball. I feel like people

1:26:31

should always be ready

1:26:33

to audition. If you're afraid to audition, it means

1:26:35

you're hiding something. Mhmm. So first chairs, I think,

1:26:37

should have to throw their self in the ring.

1:26:40

And is there some kind of process for getting

1:26:42

on less culture easters. Next question. What is a missed opportunity? Wait. Can I tell

1:26:44

you something? We're actually I would actually love

1:26:46

for when Bowen is in person here and I

1:26:51

for you to come on law school degrees. I believe when I say it. For you to

1:26:53

air this out in front of everyone, I'm

1:26:55

not really linear to

1:26:57

our behavior. I It's very it's actually

1:27:00

giving top. You just tried

1:27:02

to podcast taught me on

1:27:04

stage. And guess what? I'm I'm

1:27:06

a power bottom. So I actually love it. And my response, this

1:27:09

and I'll just okay.

1:27:11

Power this Gentlemen

1:27:14

is very excited. Too excited. I want you to know. Two things. One, I could cut this and then no one believe

1:27:17

you that

1:27:20

this happened. And two Are

1:27:22

you trying to Lydia Tarr? You're trying to Lydia Tarr? it's not working because I'd like to be I know.

1:27:29

Was it for the listening audience? I was home I just gave a

1:27:31

knowing glance to the audience here at Dynasty type writer. Was it a missed

1:27:33

opportunity not to call the area where

1:27:35

the orchestra plays the

1:27:39

tar pits. I don't like

1:27:41

that pun. I don't like

1:27:43

that joke. I I think

1:27:45

first of all, if you

1:27:47

see Lydia you know that it's not

1:27:49

it's not no laughing matter. Okay? This film deals with adult

1:27:51

subject matter. It deals

1:27:54

with themes of abuse it's Yeah.

1:27:57

I used to make a joke about it.

1:27:59

It's just so bottom. And what is the accent doing over

1:28:00

the

1:28:02

a exactly? So basically

1:28:03

Okay. I don't exactly

1:28:05

know what it's doing. I guess

1:28:08

it's opening up

1:28:10

the a. But the thing is like, well, you're not saying Lydia

1:28:12

Tarrr. Right. Or Tarrr. Look, can

1:28:14

I tell you something about

1:28:17

the film? Please. It's heavily implied that

1:28:20

she's made up her name because she's so

1:28:22

this is a spoiler. Who here is Seentar?

1:28:26

This sucks. This

1:28:28

supposed to be a smart audience that's

1:28:30

plugged in. You haven't seen Tar

1:28:32

Not but once. You're all

1:28:34

living in LA, the city where Tarr is playing. Go see Tarr now.

1:28:41

Basically, it's revealed at the end that she's constructed

1:28:43

this identity to seem more serious, and we find out her

1:28:46

real name is Linda.

1:28:48

And

1:28:49

so, basically, it's thought that maybe who

1:28:51

is an anagram for art.

1:28:55

god. It's but the

1:28:58

movie is not like lame like

1:29:01

that. The character

1:29:04

is lame. shut up. Hey,

1:29:06

each and every one of you. Shut up. Hey, just shut the fuck up. And I'll tell

1:29:08

you one other thing. You should believe

1:29:10

more people here haven't seen Tarte. It's crazy.

1:29:14

As someone who hasn't seen Tara, I share your disappointment. I

1:29:16

can't believe you haven't seen it.

1:29:18

So I will tell you something. I

1:29:20

did make a plan with a friend to

1:29:23

literally see it on Tuesday. It's one of those

1:29:25

classic perfect flakes where both of

1:29:27

us just pretended we didn't

1:29:29

make like never texted. No one

1:29:31

canceled. No one canceled. Did it just didn't exist? Oh, no. We just Tuesday

1:29:33

night, we just lived our life. Can I ask you

1:29:35

a question? Can can I ask you

1:29:37

a question? Did it exist on

1:29:40

a Google calendar No. If it's on a calendar,

1:29:42

it's real. And you have to follow-up. I would agree. We and I should have added

1:29:44

it. The point is whether

1:29:46

or not you see tar that's

1:29:49

a personal decision. But most importantly, everyone should see, have

1:29:51

you heard of Christmas screaming December second on? ask all

1:29:53

the questions because I don't want

1:29:55

any questions passed. I

1:29:58

wanna talk more about Thor. Matt rogers comedy com to see if he's bringing a show

1:29:59

I'm going

1:30:04

on Thor. that's going on tour.

1:30:06

So I'm going on tour. I'll be in here in the city of Los Angeles on December

1:30:08

sixteenth and seventieth

1:30:11

the Fonda theater. So

1:30:13

you should all come. And if you're

1:30:16

in Atlanta listening on the podcast, please buy tickets. We're doing

1:30:18

badly in that city. Thank you, Matt. When we come

1:30:20

back, A

1:30:22

quick round of hot takes. Can I ask one question? Hey,

1:30:25

guys. So how excited should we feel?

1:30:27

That's the majority of the big

1:30:29

lie magic candidates endorsed by Trump

1:30:31

lost their elections Can I get

1:30:33

an a

1:30:34

man from audience? Pretty goddamn excited, Matt.

1:30:36

Thank you

1:30:37

for your question. Yo.

1:30:39

You see it once? You're

1:30:41

telling me we couldn't fit that into

1:30:43

the episode. You're crazy. No. He shows

1:30:45

up so late to the tapereds of

1:30:47

his own shows. every single time

1:30:49

I come and do this show. Every time I come and do this show,

1:30:51

he's just coming in

1:30:55

five minutes before. And then

1:30:57

we're gonna take pictures. Crooked coffee is all about making your life a

1:30:59

little less chaotic. So we just launched three limiting

1:31:02

machines or drink some coffee and get you

1:31:04

here holiday

1:31:07

boxes to make give giving easy. Each box

1:31:09

is filled with full size bags of

1:31:11

delicious medium in

1:31:14

circular coffee. plus a fun activity that isn't scrolling through Twitter.

1:31:16

Plus this holiday season, every order from Kirkland

1:31:18

Coffee supports Vote Save America's every last

1:31:20

vote fund, picked from three different boxes for three

1:31:23

types of people. extremely. You think you could do hot so you think you're famous

1:31:25

enough to book hot ones, honestly. Here's what

1:31:27

happened. I was going up,

1:31:29

but they went up much faster. Yeah. Right. And all of a sudden,

1:31:31

it was, like, they were booking podcast people, then all

1:31:33

of a sudden, it was, like, is that Zac alphanakos?

1:31:36

Yeah. No. You know what I mean? But

1:31:38

it's, like, fully viola dave. Yes. It's, like,

1:31:40

oh, forget it. Yeah. It's like, III

1:31:42

had a chance and all of a sudden was like, what is this bookings like you wait? Our bottom podcasters

1:31:46

not getting booked on Not happening. Not happening. Craft lovers box

1:31:49

with a learn to crochet kit inside of

1:31:51

the home baker box that

1:31:53

has

1:31:54

an apple cider donut kit. crooked dot com slash coffee.

1:31:56

Now it's time for hotcakes or they're gonna kick us

1:31:58

out of the theater. We have to do it. We

1:31:59

do one hot take

1:32:01

each. Oh my god. Everybody get

1:32:03

out here. Yes. Sorry. for

1:32:05

behind us. Please welcome back to the stage. Lisa and Walter, Paul Sheer, Amy Nicholson

1:32:07

and Matt Rogers. Now for

1:32:10

a segment, we caught

1:32:12

it. we

1:32:14

really flew through my sights. We're so

1:32:16

over. We each have thirty seconds

1:32:18

to defend and never before seen shit

1:32:20

opinion. As if we were deeply held conviction,

1:32:22

we each get one skip. But if skip. You

1:32:25

probably live with eternal regret. With what

1:32:27

you'll be forced to defend. Let's see the hotcakes.

1:32:28

the the heartache

1:32:30

I'm so upset. talk We talk I'm not really upset.

1:32:32

I I have a great time. I can think of

1:32:34

at least three takeaways from Elon's leadership style

1:32:36

of Twitter that I'd like

1:32:39

to implement at Crooked. Are you fucking

1:32:41

skipped? Give me another one. I can't defend that. Not possible.

1:32:43

Congress is getting a little too

1:32:46

gay for me. I don't want a bunch of Himba's love. He

1:32:48

has to do this. I'm gonna do

1:32:51

this one. Look, Congress is getting

1:32:53

a little too gay

1:32:55

for me. And Honestly, like, it

1:32:57

is hard enough to get a bunch of Democrats to do anything without dealing with intricate

1:33:00

tension and drama.

1:33:03

Matt and I, did

1:33:05

a seven minute segment in which we fought six

1:33:07

times. That's true. About six different

1:33:08

things. We could not agree

1:33:10

even on the nature of the

1:33:14

segment itself. Nancy Pelosi has

1:33:16

a hard enough job without

1:33:18

wrangling a homosexual. Yes. Thank

1:33:21

you. Great job.

1:33:21

Thank you. Let's see what's next. Alright, guys. That's a great one. Alright, great. Can I just say it

1:33:23

and go into it? Here's the deal

1:33:25

people. Gwen Paltrow and Katie

1:33:28

Perry really have

1:33:31

their finger on the pulse of the needs of every

1:33:33

day Angelinos. And I thank

1:33:36

them for using

1:33:38

their influence to advocate for every man,

1:33:40

Rick Russo. Here's the deal.

1:33:42

Rick is a good guy.

1:33:44

No. Rick is a good

1:33:47

guy because he, we all

1:33:47

love the grove. Right? The

1:33:49

grove is pretty

1:33:51

cool. Not hard there

1:33:54

twice. All I'm saying is picture

1:33:56

the fountains with the signature

1:33:58

music. We put that wherever

1:33:59

a homeless pamphlet

1:33:59

is. We replace

1:34:02

homeless people with fountains. And

1:34:05

how do we pay for the fountains?

1:34:07

We make the homeless people work for free. And here's the thing. Katie and

1:34:09

I and Gwyneth agree. Almost

1:34:11

people are scary. I

1:34:14

don't want my house to be broken

1:34:16

into. And this guy knows

1:34:18

he'll shoot them on-site. Oh

1:34:21

my god. nice. Way to go. That

1:34:23

was very dependent. Alright. Next up. Way to go, Paul. Amy, you're up. The

1:34:26

professional

1:34:26

amy europe film

1:34:27

critic is a

1:34:30

good argument against liberal arts degrees because,

1:34:32

honestly, if there's anything that I've really

1:34:34

learned from Twitter and I cannot wait

1:34:36

to learn more under Elon Musk's tenure,

1:34:38

is that everybody has a great opinion. And honestly,

1:34:40

I believe that everybody on Twitter is

1:34:42

like an actual scholar with a liberal

1:34:45

arts degree. They're very educated in the history

1:34:47

of cinema. So when people send me death not liking whoobie Halloween,

1:34:49

that was you. It was

1:34:52

pretty

1:34:52

good.

1:34:54

I respect that. You know? And I feel like you're showing me every day how

1:34:57

worthless my education is. And it really

1:34:59

it helps me

1:35:01

get centered and helps we have humility because if we know

1:35:03

anything about critics in every movie ever,

1:35:05

critics are snobby, they hate food, they

1:35:08

hate cinema, they're mean

1:35:10

and ratatouille, Critics are

1:35:11

awful, and thank you. Thank

1:35:13

you for putting me on my voice. All

1:35:15

done. Thank you, Amy. Beautifully

1:35:17

defended. Let's see what's next. I thought Michael and Ashley

1:35:19

Darby last

1:35:20

a lifetime. Matt take it away. I'm

1:35:22

curious to just see what the next one

1:35:25

is. So Let's see what's next. thought I would you

1:35:27

thought the gay guy would take the Oh. That's

1:35:30

here. Jenna's gonna prove

1:35:32

Lulich is getting too much white load

1:35:34

of screen time in the prosthetic penis

1:35:37

isn't getting nearly enough. I genuinely do feel that Jennifer

1:35:39

Coolidge is a little over excited about

1:35:41

her praise for

1:35:43

season one and almost feels like

1:35:45

she's pushing a little bit hard in the first episode of White Lotus Season two, which I'm calling

1:35:48

Italian hose. I

1:35:51

think the best part of white little season two is the Italian hose,

1:35:54

and I wanna see more of them. I do think

1:35:56

at the end of episode two, it got

1:35:58

a little interesting with Jennifer Coolidge because she

1:36:00

found out the husband is sort

1:36:02

of trifling. So now I'm excited. But I feel like with Jennifer Coolidge, I wanna see more of the Lair. She's a really talented

1:36:04

actress. I don't need to see the

1:36:06

big set piece comedically. I wanna see the

1:36:10

interior. I wanna explore Tanya McQuad.

1:36:12

So that's how I feel. Alright. Alright.

1:36:14

Thank you. Matt found the truth in

1:36:17

it. Oh, I've been the penis.

1:36:19

and and more penis. Alright. Let's

1:36:21

see. But real penis. Yeah.

1:36:23

For sure. Jesus,

1:36:26

Christ, The only thing easier than being a mother is being a teacher.

1:36:29

Do you wanna do that one or a different one?

1:36:31

Let's just see what the next

1:36:34

one is. Y'all

1:36:35

gotta get over the

1:36:37

parent trap. Lisa, I'd

1:36:40

take it away.

1:36:42

Hey. Listen,

1:36:42

y'all really gotta get over the parent trap. I

1:36:44

mean, first of all, when is it

1:36:47

ever? I know that we have

1:36:49

an entire generation of young people that didn't

1:36:51

feel like their own family loved them. And parents were

1:36:53

all fighting each other. You had a

1:36:55

dream that maybe if

1:36:57

you just finagled and lied enough, you

1:36:59

get them to stop by and get back together. There are some queer

1:37:01

kids out there that really needed

1:37:03

to have somebody like Jesse so that they

1:37:05

could feel accepted and loved. Do you guys

1:37:08

get to still watch

1:37:10

the movie. But everybody else who dreams that you are gonna one day get

1:37:12

a guy who

1:37:15

owns a vineyard looks like

1:37:18

Dennis Quade nineteen ninety six. Not Dennis Quade now. You're

1:37:20

gonna get I

1:37:22

love them, but whoa.

1:37:25

If all of you who are dreaming that that's gonna be your life and that you're gonna grow

1:37:28

up

1:37:28

and you're

1:37:31

gonna find your twin and

1:37:33

you're gonna have a magical life.

1:37:35

Just look

1:37:36

at what Lindsay Loanne had to go through.

1:37:38

You don't want, look, she's doing good now.

1:37:42

but there's a lot of drama, a lot of sadness,

1:37:44

a lot of tragedy around the

1:37:46

parent trap you guys move on.

1:37:48

Just move on. Wow.

1:37:50

a fitting note. But if you were a queer kid and

1:37:52

you grew up loving it, you still get to

1:37:54

love it. Oh, yeah. And that's how it takes.

1:37:56

When we come back, we'll end on a high note.

1:37:58

And we're back.

1:38:00

Now

1:38:01

it's time for

1:38:03

this week's high

1:38:05

notes. Hey,

1:38:06

love. This is Jen from Baltimore, Maryland. And

1:38:08

my final note is that I'm a volunteer

1:38:10

phone bank leader for the Pennsylvania Democrats.

1:38:12

And our volunteer is made over one point

1:38:15

five million calls in the last four days

1:38:17

of the campaign. I'm incredibly proud of the

1:38:19

work we did to get them across,

1:38:21

like governor, U. S. Senate and all

1:38:23

the other statewide and local races. Also, one

1:38:26

of our volunteers thanks me for using Inclusive

1:38:28

Language to talk about

1:38:30

how abortion is an issue that pregnant people should be able to decide for themselves. And I felt about

1:38:33

that. We

1:38:36

are the party of kindness

1:38:38

and inclusivity and I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about the next few years. Love

1:38:41

the show. Thanks

1:38:44

for everything. Hi,

1:38:45

love it. This is Emily from Chicago. My high note is that I

1:38:47

have had

1:38:47

an extra six days in county with my dog of seven years after

1:38:49

I found out she has little tumor

1:38:51

on her heart. We've

1:38:54

been able to do one special thing every day, and I'm

1:38:56

so

1:38:56

grateful to save her all this

1:38:58

extra time with her. A good reminder

1:39:00

to share your time spent with the people and

1:39:02

pets in your life. So now I'm off to listen to your podcast and take

1:39:04

her on a long WA. Okay? Thanks

1:39:06

for

1:39:07

all you do. Bye. Hi, Lovett. This

1:39:09

is Missy from Omaha, Nebraska, and

1:39:11

my

1:39:11

high note, this week, it

1:39:13

did occur on election night last night, but despite some wins and losses here in Omaha, it wasn't

1:39:16

related to

1:39:18

the results

1:39:20

themselves. My ten

1:39:21

year old daughter and I have been volunteering with some of her

1:39:23

friends and their parents for women who run, which

1:39:26

is an organization based focused

1:39:29

on getting more women elected in Nebraska. We've been going every

1:39:31

Wednesday for the last couple of months leading up to the

1:39:33

election, and our kids have

1:39:34

been putting together with bags, you

1:39:39

know, stamping postcards, even doing some phone banking

1:39:41

and canvassing in the last few weeks.

1:39:43

So we got invited to

1:39:45

the big Democratic watch party downtown and

1:39:47

women who run had a VIP room that

1:39:49

was decorated with posters that all of our

1:39:52

kids had made for

1:39:54

each candidate. They got these special VIP

1:39:56

badges and they were walking around like they

1:39:58

own the place. It was just so

1:39:59

awesome to see their excitement

1:40:01

to meet the candidates

1:40:03

and just have

1:40:04

all this confidence as they were talking

1:40:06

to all of these adults. I've been dragging my daughter with me for years to

1:40:08

different events --

1:40:11

political events and canvassing. a

1:40:13

woman who run made it fun and cool to be an activist, and I'm so grateful

1:40:15

for that. So while we didn't win all of the

1:40:18

races I'd hoped for, I've

1:40:21

seen the future in these girls,

1:40:23

and I know it's bright. Thanks for all you do. Hello.

1:40:24

My name is

1:40:26

Betsy. My high notes are

1:40:30

First, finishing chemo for stage free

1:40:32

cancer and hopefully being cancer free

1:40:34

forever. My next high note is being

1:40:36

an election worker on Tuesday and having

1:40:39

none other than our favorite podcaster John Lovett coming

1:40:41

to our bestseller

1:40:42

to vote. And my last high

1:40:43

note is returning back to seeing

1:40:45

Lovett or Leave it live. Thank you so much, John, for

1:40:47

making that happen. And now I have something to

1:40:50

look forward to again on Thursday night after

1:40:53

some really shitty and

1:40:54

dark time. Thanks to everybody

1:40:56

who sent in a high note tonight. If you wanna leave us

1:40:58

a message about something that gave you hope call us at

1:41:00

3235382377

1:41:03

That is our show. Thank you so much, and Lisa and Walter Paul Shear, Matt Rogers, Amy

1:41:05

Nagelson, and and

1:41:08

Helen Peterson.

1:41:09

There are twenty four

1:41:11

days until the Georgia run up. Fuck. Have a great weekend.

1:41:18

Love it

1:41:20

or leave

1:41:22

it

1:41:23

as a crooked

1:41:26

media production. It is written and produced by me. John Lee

1:41:28

Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Brian

1:41:30

Semmel is our producer, and Malcolm Whitfield is

1:41:32

our associate producer. Howley Keefer is

1:41:34

our head writer, Sarah Lasros, John

1:41:37

on Kaufman, Polyvignon and Peter Miller are the writers. Bill Lance is our editor and

1:41:39

Kyle Seguin and Steven Cologne are our audio engineers. Our theme

1:41:41

song is written and performed by

1:41:44

Sure Sure. Thanks

1:41:46

to our designers, Jesse McLean and Caroline Haywood, for creating

1:41:48

and running all of our visuals, which you can't

1:41:50

see because this is a podcast, and

1:41:53

to our digital producers, Normalconian, Zuri Urban, and

1:41:55

Milo Kim, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGrouot filming and editing video each week

1:41:57

so you can. You can find those glorious

1:41:59

videos at youtube dot

1:42:01

com slash c slash

1:42:04

crooked media.

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