Episode Transcript
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0:01
Language supposedly has
0:03
all these rules. Most of us
0:05
never have to think about those rules. the
0:07
hidden hand of language guides nearly every
0:09
interaction we have with other people determining
0:12
whether we connect, entertain, confuse,
0:14
insult, or dazzle the people we communicate
0:17
with. In radio lingo,
0:19
the new podcast from Duolingo and Crooked
0:22
Media, we explore how language shapes
0:24
our world and how our world shapes
0:26
language. I'm Amadell Yuk.
0:29
I'm an audio journalist in James Beard award
0:31
winning writer. I am an awv language
0:33
and it's complexed and its simplicity, the
0:36
way we can use it to create both distance and
0:38
understanding. I'm going to
0:40
be your guide. Join us as we
0:42
take you on quick stick journey. From
0:45
crooked media and dual lingo, this
0:47
is radio lingo, starting November
0:49
fifteenth on your favorite podcast apps.
1:04
Welcome to love
1:06
it or leaving live or else
1:08
coming at you. From the other
1:10
side of a red wave so small,
1:12
I could have served it. The
1:16
person who could not stand up on
1:18
a surfboard on
1:19
land.
1:22
Calvunga. We're all surfing
1:24
the red wave. Holy shit. Listen.
1:28
A couple of you, I'm gonna assign a duty.
1:31
Here's your duty. Keep an eye on that John Ralston
1:33
Twitter thread. Alright? Well, I wanna know the
1:35
exact moment. If it happens and bite was
1:37
comes out Saturday. I
1:39
wanna know if our Catherine Cortez Masto
1:42
pulls ahead of that fucking Schmuck. Alright?
1:44
I'm sick of waiting. I'm watching that fucking
1:46
New York times that every day, find
1:49
those votes goes to Harry Reid.
1:55
We
1:55
had so many conversations leading up to tonight's
1:57
show about
1:58
what we would do to buck everybody
1:59
up. What
2:03
are we
2:03
how are we gonna how
2:06
are we gonna in the face of a brutal
2:09
defeat? remind everyone
2:11
that this is a long and hard fight over
2:13
many years. Win or lose, we
2:15
were gonna have to stay in it to fight for
2:17
democracy, that even if we lost
2:19
the house by dozens and dozens of seats,
2:21
and even if every one of our favorite senate
2:23
candidates was defeated by Schmucks and quacks,
2:25
the fight would continue. The work
2:28
would go on. Don't
2:29
need any of it.
2:30
And
2:35
the thing about it
2:37
is we can't really pat ourselves on the back
2:40
too much. Because I think
2:42
deep down, we know whatever the analysis
2:44
and we'll get into the details and I'm sure
2:46
John will walk me through cross
2:49
tabs or whatever he does on his iPad.
2:52
Take me to the wilderness and I'll
2:56
try as hard as I can to get back to the
2:58
city as quickly as I can. And
3:00
it is exciting, it is inspiring that
3:03
in the places where abortion and democracy
3:05
was really at stake, a bunch of
3:07
people came together and either split their ticket
3:10
or came out to vote against these radical
3:12
Republicans, that Republicans being against basic
3:14
human rights Republicans coming out against the
3:16
basic tenets of art was enough
3:19
to bring together a bipartisan majority
3:21
of people to turn off independents, some
3:24
Republicans, and all the Democrats we needed.
3:26
And think that is a sign of hope
3:28
that this machine, though it is sparking,
3:31
that it is throwing off a
3:33
bunch of nuts and bolts, we probably
3:35
wished we're still somewhere inside the apparatus.
3:38
This car still drives, not as well
3:40
as we'd like, not as fast as we wanted
3:42
to go, but she moves. We've
3:46
got a great show for you tonight. Crooked's own, Anne
3:48
Helen Peterson, is here to give some work advice.
3:50
So everyone here, if you have a professional
3:52
quandary, Start thinking of how to
3:54
anonymize the villains in your office now.
3:58
Abid elementary's Lisa and Walter
3:59
is here to prove that she
4:02
has been in every thing. Paul Sheer
4:04
and Amy Nicholson are gonna play a little game
4:06
to test your classic movie knowledge, and Matt
4:08
Rogers is back with
4:09
a full orchestra. to talk about tar.
4:14
We had actually had a whole thing like how do
4:16
we walk through all the mid term news that says really
4:19
bad and we're like, alright, here's what we do. We
4:21
get Matt Rogers out here. He'll be really
4:23
funny, then I'll deliver the medicine. But
4:25
we're just gonna do it anyway. So it's just gonna be all
4:27
good stuff. Plus, hot
4:29
takes because for once politics hasn't put
4:31
us in the mood to rant. But
4:33
first, let's
4:34
get into it. What
4:36
a week?
4:40
Well, well, well, Looks
4:44
like the long hyped red wave never
4:46
materialized on election night, I've seen
4:48
bigger red waves come out of Don Junior
4:50
Snort Nustral.
4:51
If
4:54
you ask me Republicans to meet a lot of women feel
4:56
terror when a red wave doesn't show up, about
4:58
time they got a taste of their own fucking medicine.
5:03
With a lot of
5:05
races still too early to call, the two parties remained
5:07
locked in a surprisingly close battle for control
5:09
of both the House and the Senate, one of the
5:11
biggest democratic victories of Tuesday nightly
5:13
tenant governor John Federman,
5:16
who
5:17
looks like what happens when a drunk pen
5:19
student screams Philadelphia while
5:21
kicking a jeannie's ass. One
5:24
has senate raise in Pennsylvania defeating Trump
5:26
endorsed quack doctor Oz and
5:28
flipping the seat It seems the small
5:30
minded voters of Pennsylvania just weren't ready
5:32
to accept a gifting New Jersey millionaire
5:35
no matter how many dogs he murdered.
5:41
Democrats charged Shapiro also prevailed in the
5:43
Pennsylvania governor's race against Trump endorsed
5:45
Republican and Confederate cos
5:47
player Doug Nastiano, the Jews
5:49
needed a win this week. Pennsylvania, not only
5:51
have you elected a great governor. You've
5:53
done a mitzvah. Everybody
5:57
take us mitzvah, motties
5:59
of everybody. Meanwhile,
6:02
in Georgia senator Rafael warnock in human
6:04
abortion fund Hershel Walker, we'll
6:08
we'll head to a December runoff as neither
6:10
a fifty percent of the vote even as warnock
6:12
led. Alright. So all these Republican
6:14
big shots came through the state and
6:16
convinced all their Republicans who are gonna
6:18
vote for Kemp and show up for the congressional
6:20
votes to hold their nose and vote for
6:22
Hershel Walker to participate in this
6:24
fucking farce. Now, they have
6:26
to do it all over again. and tell them
6:28
to get in their cars and drive across
6:30
town to their polling places for
6:32
the sole purpose of casting
6:34
a vote for this obviously unfit,
6:37
unqualified guy. And it could
6:39
work. It absolutely, of course, could work,
6:41
but think about how much more fun we get
6:43
to have. While they're desperately trying
6:45
to drag this guy across the finish line,
6:47
we just get to convince people to vote
6:49
for a righteous and maleflous pastor
6:51
who everyone fucking loves.
6:56
There's this sort of conversation going on
6:58
now among Republicans, and they use this
7:00
term candidate quality. They
7:02
call it candidate quality, like it's a
7:04
Subaru that rattles on the highway.
7:06
You know, like it's a build issue,
7:08
like a a small problem they can solve
7:10
when these people are insurrection and
7:12
full fucking queuing on psychos,
7:15
this is not a rattle on the highway.
7:17
These people are pinto's. if
7:19
you bump the fender, the door is no
7:21
longer open and the engine catches fire.
7:23
It's not don't call that candidate
7:25
quality. You have a
7:27
candidate quality problem. Yeah.
7:29
You have a base problem. The
7:31
problem isn't that a bunch of fucking
7:33
assholes are running for Congress, The problem
7:35
is Republican voters look
7:38
down the list of people you offer and
7:40
choose the biggest human fucking
7:42
piece of shit possible. And
7:45
everyone's like, oh, man, Trump really
7:47
fucked us by endorsing all of these terrible
7:49
Republicans as if he wet door to
7:51
door and threatened the voters. No.
7:53
He said, I really like this person. He's
7:55
as big an asshole as I am. They're like, we're
7:57
in.
7:59
You mad at Trump. You mad
8:02
at your voters. Everyone's
8:04
acting like things are happening to the Republican
8:06
Party. No. No. No. The Republican Party
8:09
is happening to us.
8:10
YOU
8:12
CAN ACTUALLY SEE FOX'S COVERAGE DIVOLVE OVER
8:15
THE NIGHT AFTER STARTING OUT SO
8:17
VERY HOPEFUL. Reporter:
8:17
WASHINGTON AND MANY OF THE STATES
8:20
ACROSS THE COUNTRY ARE GOING TO HAVE A LOT changes when
8:22
they wake up tomorrow or by the end of the week when we have
8:24
final results?
8:25
Mhmm.
8:26
Look. They
8:29
have spent weeks building
8:31
up the expectation that this
8:33
was gonna be not just a red wave, but
8:35
a red tsunami. And so when all
8:37
your coverage is predicated on maintaining the
8:40
illusion of total victory. It can be
8:42
hard to keep that illusion going as
8:44
the night continues, but they
8:46
did try. What do you
8:47
think this election then? Well,
8:49
all I have are anecdotes and
8:51
they're positive anecdotes.
8:56
That's
8:56
the kind of thing you tell your friend
8:58
the morning after they get black out at their
9:00
thirtieth birthday. interpret
9:05
election results. Overall, from
9:07
Mastriano to Oz to Michigan
9:09
gubernatorial candidate Tudor, Dixon, a gratifying
9:11
number of Trump endorsed candidates
9:13
absolutely ate shit
9:15
on Tuesday.
9:18
But according to doctor Oz, that's
9:20
apparently really good for your gut biome.
9:22
So maybe they'll
9:24
recover. When
9:26
asked on Wednesday how he felt about Republican
9:28
chances of taking the senate, senate minority leader
9:30
Mitch McConnell replied, I don't
9:32
deal in feelings. Sadly
9:36
for Elaine Chao McConnell got this line from
9:38
his wedding bounce.
9:39
There
9:42
were a
9:43
few unfortunate exceptions, of course,
9:45
among them Peter Till's word donkey j d
9:47
vans defeated congressman Tim Ryan, by a
9:49
wider margin than predicted. Vance, of course,
9:52
was criticized for saying that Trump could be
9:54
America's Hitler before completely reversing
9:56
himself and seeking Trump's endorsement.
9:58
As the saying goes, if you can't beat
9:59
his comp join his comp.
10:02
What are you
10:05
doing exactly? I
10:07
don't care when you are.
10:08
And one of the more shocking turns of the
10:10
midterms New York congressman Sean Patrick
10:12
Maloney, the Chair of the Democratic Congressional
10:14
Campaign Committee was unseated by
10:16
his opponent marking the first time a campaign
10:18
chair from either party has failed to be
10:20
reelected in forty two
10:22
years. I guess now
10:23
he'll be home baloney. Alts.
10:29
More like Sean Patrick baloney.
10:32
I put that
10:32
in so many slacks and it didn't make it into any of the
10:35
scripts. Nothing. Sean Patrick
10:37
Bellone sitting right there.
10:41
Sean Patrick Bologna lost after deciding
10:43
to run. And
10:46
what he thought would be a friendlier
10:48
district following New York's redistricting process hear
10:50
that decision for his Mondir Jones to run a New York
10:52
City district where he lost his primary.
10:54
To put this in New York terms, Maloney is the guy
10:56
who shows in front of you in line at Russ and Daughters,
10:58
gets the last bomb cut and then somehow
11:00
fumbles into the Hudson River. Almost
11:03
immediately after Maloney conceded, Jones tweeted
11:05
a single word yikes. That
11:10
scramble to find districts wouldn't have happened if
11:12
several conservative judges appointed by Andrew
11:14
Cuomo hadn't thrown out a much more Democrat
11:16
friendly map and taking redistricting power away
11:18
from the legislator altogether, you can
11:20
take the status out of the Cuomo, but you
11:22
can't take the Cuomo out of the status
11:24
Cuomo. Fuck.
11:28
Thank you. Thank you.
11:31
Tuesday was a huge night for abortion rights
11:33
with voters holding abortion protections and
11:35
rejecting new restrictions in
11:37
all five states where they were
11:39
on the ballot, including in deep
11:41
red Kentucky as one Fox news comment or
11:43
put it, Republicans underperformed because
11:45
Democrats win independence in a
11:47
non presidential year. Just no polls saw
11:49
that comment, and it was because these women just
11:51
went crazy. You
11:54
know women? Women
11:58
be shopping for their for
11:59
their human rights. Just to
12:03
be clear, so when women go crazy,
12:05
they entrain basic freedoms into
12:07
state constitutions. When men go
12:09
crazy, they have to grease the street lamps
12:11
in Philadelphia.
12:17
Four to five states that voted on this voted to
12:19
remove language and loopholes in their constitutions
12:21
that allowed forced labor as a
12:23
punishment with Louisiana being the
12:25
one holdout. Turns out
12:26
you can't have six hundred parades a
12:28
day without at least some forced
12:30
labor. According to the
12:32
Louisiana government, your freedom is
12:34
not, cajun accent, gay or own tea, I
12:36
couldn't do it. I couldn't commit. Malcolm,
12:38
I'm sorry. I want it to. I just I'm gonna try
12:40
again. I'll try. Get your own tea. I can't do
12:42
it. Doesn't doesn't feel right.
12:44
Doesn't feel right. Meanwhile,
12:47
in a news nation interview that aired Tuesday
12:49
evening, Donald Trump was asked about the power
12:51
of his endorsement for Republicans, and he
12:53
said this, Well, I think if they
12:55
win, I should get all the credit. And
12:57
if they lose, I should not be blamed at
12:59
all. Okay. Yes.
13:07
That is how every one of us
13:09
should live this way. That is how we go through
13:11
every day. Come
13:13
on. This straight
13:15
phase two camera. If I win, I
13:17
did it. If I lose, you did it. Fucking
13:21
love it. That's cool. We're
13:23
gonna use a little more heads I win tails
13:25
you lose on our side. privately
13:27
Trump
13:27
was reportedly furious about the
13:29
GOP's flop in the midterms and blame
13:31
Melania for advising him to endorse doctor
13:33
Oz. When reached for comment, Melania
13:35
clarified actually just said I thought he should see a
13:37
doctor. As
13:41
Arizona's vote continue to be counted, gubernatorial
13:43
would be Cary Lake publicly accused
13:45
Rhonda a scientist of benefiting from a conspiracy
13:47
to slow roll her victory along with
13:49
that of Senate hopeful Blake Masters in an
13:51
attempt to discourage supporters of this
13:53
election's mega flops. And
13:54
so they slow roll the results.
13:57
You know, Rhonda Santos goes out, gives his
13:59
big speech, and then they wanna make it look
14:01
like the Trump Republicans don't have
14:03
a chance
14:04
Yes. Yes. Tear each other
14:06
apart. Savage each other like
14:08
so many spray tan crabs
14:10
fighting in a Mickelindel brand, my
14:12
barrel. Everybody
14:15
should figure out how to look as good as Carrie Lake does
14:17
in every goddamn shot. She
14:19
never misses. I don't know how she
14:21
does it. She
14:21
like the way they used to shoot Barbara Walters just
14:24
like mystical, almost like an
14:26
angel through, like, three inches of gauze.
14:28
I wanna be shot that way.
14:30
And another thrilling moment, Donald Trump
14:32
threatened his perspective Republican challenger,
14:34
Rhonda Sanchez, saying to reporters, if he
14:36
did run, I will tell you things about him
14:38
that won't be very flattering I know
14:40
more about him than anybody other
14:42
than perhaps his wife who was
14:44
really running his campaign. I
14:47
know
14:47
more about him. that I
14:48
know about myself, Trump said, before
14:51
searing wistfully into the distance. Trump
14:55
went further today, taking aim a
14:57
conservative outlets blaming him for the mid term disappointment
14:59
and focusing the full force of his
15:01
all you can eat word salad bar
15:03
on DeSantis. Trump put
15:05
out an absolutely magnificent
15:08
statement on what you call true social
15:10
that is so dramatic and
15:12
bitchy. It has real housewife energy. It
15:14
has gay energy. And here to read
15:16
an abridged version. It's
15:19
Matt Rogers. Hi,
15:19
Matt.
15:21
Here
15:21
to be gang. Let's hear it. Great.
15:24
Let's hear what Trump had to say.
15:26
now that midterms are over
15:29
and a success. News
15:33
Corp, which is Fox. The
15:35
Wall
15:35
Street Journal and
15:37
the no longer great New York
15:39
Post. Bring back call
15:41
We don't know what that is. Is
15:45
all in for governor, Rhonda,
15:48
thank harmonious. an
15:51
average Republican all caps
15:54
governor with great public
15:56
relations
15:57
who didn't have to close-up his state
16:00
but
16:00
did
16:01
unlike other Republican governors
16:04
and who has the advantage of
16:06
Sunshine
16:10
Where People
16:15
from badly run states up north
16:17
would go no matter who the governor
16:19
was just like I did.
16:24
Ron came to me in desperate
16:26
shape in twenty seventeen. He
16:29
was politically dead. Losing
16:32
in a landslide to a very
16:34
good agriculture commissioner Adam
16:37
Putnam, Who was loaded
16:39
up with cash and great poll
16:41
numbers? Rod had
16:43
low approval, bad polls,
16:45
and no money. But he
16:48
said that if I would
16:50
endorse him, he
16:51
could win.
16:53
I didn't know Adam. So I said, let's give it
16:55
a shot, Ron.
16:59
It was as though to use
17:01
a bad term. A
17:02
nuclear weapon went off. Years
17:06
later, they were
17:07
the exact words that Adam
17:09
Putnam used in describing Ron's
17:12
endorsement He said,
17:13
I went from having
17:14
it made with no
17:17
competition to immediately getting absolutely
17:19
clobbered after your endorsement.
17:21
And now,
17:24
Ron DeSink demonious is playing
17:26
games. The
17:31
fake news asks him if he's
17:33
gonna run, if president Trump runs, and
17:35
he says he says, I'm only
17:37
focused on the governor's race.
17:39
I'm not looking into the future.
17:43
Wow. In terms of
17:45
loyalty and class, It's
17:47
really not the right answer.
17:50
This is just
17:52
like in twenty fifteen
17:54
and twenty sixteen. a
17:56
media assault collusion.
18:01
When Fox News fought me to
18:03
the end until I won, and
18:06
then they couldn't have been nicer or more
18:09
supportive. The Wall Street
18:11
Journal loved low
18:13
energy Jeb Bush and
18:15
a succession of other people as they
18:17
rapidly disappeared from
18:19
site. finally falling in line
18:21
with me after I
18:23
easily knocked them out. One
18:26
by one. We're
18:28
in exactly the same position now. They
18:31
will keep coming after us.
18:34
Mega.
18:34
But
18:39
ultimately, we will win. Put
18:41
America first and
18:43
make
18:44
America Great.
18:47
Again. Matt
18:52
Rogers, everybody. See you in a bit. See you in a bit. See you
18:54
in a bit. I'll be back. be back. He'll be
18:57
back.
18:59
We were talking
18:59
about that same. First of all,
19:02
amazing. I forget towards the end,
19:04
it really gets Ursula to Sea witch energy.
19:06
And you, like, basically, could
19:08
refer to, like, the other Republicans
19:10
as his poopies. What a
19:13
queen. In seeing this
19:15
start, we were talking about this
19:17
today in the crooked newslack. We
19:19
forgot that twenty sixteen It
19:21
was a little bit fun right up until it wasn't. And I'm not gonna
19:23
forget that it stops being fun.
19:26
But
19:26
come on. Meanwhile,
19:30
as Hurricane Nicole made landfall
19:32
in Florida this week, Trump reportedly decided to ride
19:34
it out at Mar a Lago despite a mandatory
19:37
evacuation order Set a national guard
19:39
representative half heartedly.
19:40
No, don't. Stop. It's dangerous.
19:44
Look, it's
19:46
fines that Trump
19:49
holding up a weather map with the word fine,
19:51
sharpied over far a lot. In
19:53
other news over
19:53
at what is left of Twitter, Elon Musk launched
19:56
Twitter Blue, and the platform immediately
19:58
became flooded with fake accounts in
20:00
personating public figures as
20:02
literally everyone told
20:04
him it would. This is like
20:06
that seed in Spartacus, but everyone hates
20:08
Spartacus and just stood up ironically. Norwegian
20:11
princess Martha Louise has surrendered her royal
20:13
duties to focus on her alternative medicine business
20:15
with her fiance a self
20:17
professed shaman, and the shaman's name is
20:20
says here. Oh, no. It's
20:21
doctor Oz. KFC's
20:25
German division has apologized for sending
20:27
an app alert that read. It's
20:30
Memorial Day for Crystal
20:32
Nacht. treat yourself with more
20:34
tender cheese on your crispy chicken
20:37
now at k f cheese.
20:40
They also apologized for the accompanying
20:43
depiction of colonel Sanders saying we
20:45
intended his new mustache to be a nod to
20:47
Charlie Chaplin.
20:49
The National Park Services urge
20:52
visitors to please stop licking the
20:54
sonoran desert toad, which secretes
20:56
a psychedelic toxin. This
20:58
news, however, is how I learned you
21:00
can do that, which makes
21:02
me think of the strides end effect. That's
21:04
when you're so fucked up on psychedelic
21:07
toad talks. in, you think you're Barbara Streisand.
21:09
I was in Costa
21:12
Rica once doing a
21:14
zip line, came across a group of
21:16
gays talking about the fact that a little toad had
21:18
jumped onto their balcony and one of them
21:20
touched it and all of a sudden got light
21:22
headed as if it was like
21:24
poppers. and we joked that he was gonna bring one
21:26
of those frogs home and have it in the drawer
21:28
next to his bed. And when someone asked what
21:30
that toad was there for, he'd say it's
21:32
for cleaning my VCR. Canadian
21:38
prime minister Justin Trudeau will make
21:40
history by becoming first world leader to appear
21:42
on RuPaul's Drag Race. Trudeau said
21:45
to reporters, I'm sorry there's been a
21:47
misunderstanding. I was trying to do
21:49
race drag. What?
21:53
A US Air Force pilot
21:55
flew a penis shaped flight path with
21:57
the business end of the deck pointed directly at a
21:59
Russian
21:59
base and what the air force insisted was a
22:02
total accident. Harder to explain
22:04
was why the flight path spelled
22:06
gargle them under the balls.
22:09
And finally, in
22:11
Florida, twenty five
22:12
year old Maxwell Frost won a houseie
22:15
to become the
22:15
first Gen Z member of Congress.
22:18
Don't
22:20
worry, Max. You're gonna fit right in.
22:22
You and Diane finds I can bond about
22:24
how neither one of you remembers nine
22:27
eleven. When we
22:30
come back, a requiem
22:32
for Twitter's main character. And
22:37
we're
22:39
back.
22:41
Well,
22:41
Elon Musk might be playing forty chess with
22:44
his takeover of Twitter, but as anyone who plays
22:46
chess will tell you, that's too many
22:48
dimensions. Earlier
22:50
today, Elon Musk called the townhome
22:52
meeting for Twitter's employees, all of which was
22:54
basically live tweeted by his disgruntled staff,
22:56
informing them that bankruptcy is not out
22:58
of the question for the platform. Of course,
23:00
This was after Twitter's chief information security
23:03
officer, chief privacy offer, and chief
23:05
compliance officer, all resigned Wednesday night.
23:07
You can't blame them as much new rollout of
23:09
Twitter Blue has indicated the platform with
23:11
fake accounts pretending to be actual
23:13
notable figures all in an effort to make a few
23:15
bucks as Musk acts more erratic With the
23:17
platform's financial and security features, the
23:19
FTC even issued a warning Thursday that
23:21
they are tracking recent developments at
23:23
Twitter with deep concern. And as we are writing this intro,
23:25
the two top executives at Twitter, the
23:27
company's head of trust and safety and the head of
23:29
sales also resigned. In
23:31
the words of his startup, brethren, it seems Elon may have moved
23:33
fast and broke Twitter.
23:35
There's no telling how long the platform
23:37
will stay afloat. or how long any of us will cling
23:39
to the slur covered debridges before
23:42
begrudgingly swimming over to Mastodon, whatever that
23:44
is. Personally, I refuse to
23:46
be rescued. But
23:48
but since Twitter may be in its final days, we
23:50
wanted to take a moment to honor the
23:52
heroes, the fallen soldiers. Please remove your
23:54
hat and place your retweeting hand on your
23:56
heart as we remember the main
23:58
characters of Twitter.
24:03
Cinnamon
24:06
Toast shrimp guy. March twenty twenty one.
24:09
His account of finding shrimp tails in a
24:11
box of cinnamon toast crunch captivated
24:13
the nation. How
24:15
did the shrimp tails get in there? To
24:17
what lengths would he go to find out? Was
24:19
the whole thing a desperate roost for
24:21
attention? He was the husband of Topanga
24:23
from world. And for a few
24:25
fever days, he was Twitter's cinnamon shrimp
24:27
king. But his time on the throne was
24:29
cut short when several former girlfriends and
24:31
colleagues came forward to accuse him of abusive
24:33
behavior. and he abruptly stopped tweeting, never to go viral
24:36
again. You either die a shrimp guy
24:38
or live long enough to become a
24:40
bad boyfriend. when
24:42
we come back. A trip to the
24:45
movies.
24:50
And we're back. I know
24:53
we've been talking about the
24:55
midterms a lot, but I just wanted to reiterate how
24:58
incredibly thankful and proud of everyone listening to
25:00
this podcast. and everyone who listened to all of the
25:02
crooked shows and everybody who signed up at Vote
25:04
Save America, you did an incredible job
25:06
volunteering phone banking, getting out the vote
25:08
in this midterms, giving a fuck
25:10
does work, We really did make a
25:12
difference in a bunch of swing districts, and we
25:14
have a bunch more work to do as we head to twenty twenty four.
25:16
But thank you to everybody listening.
25:18
who did something, who donated, who volunteered, who showed
25:20
up, who voted, who got their friends and family to
25:22
vote because we all went into this thing, not
25:24
knowing what was gonna happen, all afraid
25:26
of how bad it could be, but because people showed up and did
25:28
the right thing, we did so much better than
25:30
anybody predicted. And that is in large part of the thing
25:32
to everybody who participated in Vote
25:35
Save America and getting the opportunity to
25:37
be part of Vote Save America is the proudest and
25:39
most exciting part of being part of Crooked
25:41
Media. So thank you to everybody who
25:43
signed up You
25:45
made a huge difference. We get emails
25:47
all the time from campaigns, and
25:49
they tell us that the people who signed up through
25:51
Vote Save America, the people who show because they came
25:53
through crooked pods and signed up to volunteer are
25:56
the best volunteers they have. They don't
25:58
just show up. They show up. They do shift
25:59
after shift. they make a huge difference. We've heard it
26:02
from Ben Wickler in Wisconsin. We heard it
26:04
from campaigns in California. We hear it from
26:06
all across the country. So thank you. And
26:09
because
26:10
of all of that hard work, even
26:12
as we
26:13
look towards a runoff in Georgia, where we're gonna
26:15
have to keep fucking hustling, This weekend's
26:17
for us. Alright? And we're gonna enjoy other pursuits
26:19
and here to take us out to the
26:21
movies. It's the host
26:22
of the unschooled podcast Paul
26:24
Sheer and Amy Nicholson.
26:26
Hey, everybody.
26:27
Amy, hi. How are you?
26:29
I was hoping to see you. Great to see you.
26:31
Hey, Amy. I gotta tell you John,
26:33
you made me upset even mentioning
26:35
twenty twenty 4II
26:37
just wanna enjoy this week for -- Yeah. -- a
26:39
couple of months. You're absolutely right. Yeah. You're
26:42
absolutely right. said we got a lot to do, and I was
26:44
like, oh, yeah. We do. We do. But you know
26:46
what? The rest of twenty twenty two, that's our
26:48
fucking time. I love it. Alright. The rest of twenty twenty two
26:50
is for chilling out an in fight That's all we need to
26:52
do. Give me a Christmas tree
26:54
already. Get some lights up. Let's just go.
26:56
Let's just move quickly through
26:58
the next Absolutely.
26:59
Yeah. Hi, Amy. Hello. How
27:01
are you doing? So I just wanna
27:03
note that all of these questions well,
27:06
you'll understand. Would you we to this place for
27:08
magic? This
27:09
is the
27:10
most phantom of the opera
27:13
looking podcast I've ever seen
27:15
in my life. So yes. I I do wanna talk about this
27:17
Nicole Ki
27:17
Bin thing. Does she know
27:19
that it's become memeable? Like
27:21
And then if your AMC
27:24
how do you approach Nicole Kidman? Do you go, like,
27:26
Nicole, we got
27:27
this. Like because Nicole Kidman, to
27:29
me seems like someone who has never gone to
27:31
a movie that's not a premier.
27:33
and they don't mean that in a derogatory way. It just
27:35
feels like she's not like, oh,
27:38
Clifford's a big red dog. I'll go see it. Fuck it.
27:40
Like she doesn't seem like I'm just gonna go
27:42
into this AMC. Yeah. A part of me does
27:44
on some level believe she is
27:46
the character she played in the others?
27:48
Yeah. And that she is some
27:50
kind of I don't wanna spoil
27:52
the others. two thousand and three's the
27:54
others. But but
27:56
that she is sort of
27:58
trapped, you know, in a certain time
27:59
and space. See,
28:00
I don't believe that. I believe Nicole Kidman
28:02
is really that picture have you seen that picture
28:04
from her the day she got divorced from Tom
28:07
Cruise? Where she's in a tank top
28:09
and she's screaming and her eyes are open and she's wearing, like,
28:11
mismatched outfits. Oh. She kinda looks
28:13
like she's in Daytona Beach. Okay. Wow.
28:14
Yeah. I love it. Like, that's the
28:16
Nicole Kidman who gets drunk and goes and sees
28:19
Clifford.
28:19
in the afternoon. But you see, I haven't seen that Nicole Kidman
28:21
for such a long time. I feel like she's
28:23
much more -- Very controlled. -- controlled
28:26
Kidman. I don't know. I mean, I want look,
28:28
my Best New York
28:28
City moment was I
28:30
lived on fiftieth and eighth, and
28:32
I was racing home one day
28:35
And
28:35
every now and then people will stop you from walking on the street for
28:37
whatever reason. And I just, like, kind
28:39
of busted through this crowd and I was really
28:42
walking. And I
28:43
hit a limousine whose doors open
28:45
and the cold came and popped out at the same time.
28:47
And we almost collided. And
28:50
as out of my way. And I
28:52
was like, oh, I'm a New Yorker. This is
28:54
amazing. This is a great moment to not
28:56
even care, but I was like, Nicole Given
28:58
Go. Go. Fifteen and
29:01
eight, hon. Kind of a kind of a dead
29:03
ton. Hey, health kitchen. Come on. It
29:05
was fun. I had an l shaped
29:07
apartment. It was by the ace see.
29:09
It was perfect. It was
29:11
great. I didn't have money. That was a great spot. That
29:13
was a great spot. A thousand dollars a month. That
29:15
was perfect. would
29:15
you describe that indescribable feeling we get
29:18
when the lights dim?
29:22
Indigestion? Okay. It's
29:24
nerve wracking. It's nerve wracking. I mean, as
29:26
a critic, like, I feel, like, very seriously,
29:28
when the light's dim, I'm always supposed
29:30
to kinda hit, like, a reset button in the back
29:32
of my neck say, like, be open minded. Like,
29:34
you're supposed to erase everything. And then
29:36
be like, maybe Adam Sandler made a lovely
29:38
movie. And then sometimes he does.
29:40
Awesome. is underrated and Huey
29:43
Halloween two. Not one. I
29:45
mean Huey Halloween also. I I
29:47
I'm so glad you raised this because it's been on my
29:50
mind. since you've raised it, which
29:52
is punch drug love was
29:54
so good and he's so good in
29:56
it. And I don't like, I'm always
29:58
surprised when somebody has
29:59
that kind of talent in them, but they're
30:02
like, nope, I wanna go to Hawaii
30:04
with Rob Schneider. I love
30:06
it because he's like, you
30:08
know I can get an Oscar nomination, but I
30:10
also can
30:10
do this other shit over here. Like, no
30:12
one can do that. Like, I feel like
30:14
he's he's got this amazing ability
30:16
to kind of do both.
30:18
Like, uncut gems is great. I think Hussle,
30:20
again, underrated. It's very good. It's
30:22
like a rocky story. But then I like
30:24
that he's just like and then I'm gonna do a
30:27
fart joke. for like a whole ninety minutes. Yeah.
30:29
That's right. That is cool.
30:31
I agree. I I will
30:33
say one other thing too, like, when you
30:35
said the LightStim, I was thinking that when I
30:37
saw Rec Room for Dream, another movie I don't
30:39
wanna spoil for you. they
30:43
played the second reel of that movie
30:46
twice in my screening. And
30:48
for thirty minutes, it's like, wow, what
30:51
choice. Just show
30:53
it to you again. I was like, this
30:55
is Aranovsky at his best.
30:58
letting me see it one more
31:00
time. It's so upsetting. It's
31:02
so disturbing. And I was willing to
31:04
go with it until someone came in and said
31:06
there's been a mistake. And Rosemont,
31:09
that'll happen to a movie with subtitles where they won't
31:11
have the subtitles. And you're thinking, I guess, I'm not it's
31:13
supposed to be about the vibes. Yeah. Right.
31:15
I'm in. I'm ready to go.
31:17
When I was a kid, my mom and I were going to
31:19
see I believe Toy Story, but we
31:21
accidentally went into the theater showing heat.
31:24
And
31:24
we watched,
31:28
like, five minutes of heat thinking it was, like,
31:30
a really long trailer. Like,
31:33
you thought at any minute Robert Deneer would
31:35
turn into a toy cowboy? Honestly,
31:36
that's a really like, I don't we should
31:38
have left sooner. like, I guess, this
31:40
oh, we're in the wrong theater. This is going wrong.
31:43
It was a problem. It seemed like we just were like,
31:45
I don't know. Maybe maybe it's
31:47
gonna become Yeah. Maybe it's like a reverse, you know, like
31:49
at Roger Rabbit, it starts with a cartoon.
31:51
Maybe maybe Toy Story starts with a
31:53
fucking bank robbery. When
31:55
I when I first of that
31:57
to LA, there was this cheap
31:59
ass hotel that I would stay in. I was
32:01
watching a DVD of the Man train
32:03
candidate, not the old one, but the new one
32:05
with Denzel. And and the TV
32:07
just had never been, like, color corrected at
32:09
all. So you could barely see it. It was
32:11
so dark that I was, like, me
32:13
and my girlfriend were watching. I
32:15
was, like, That's cool. Yeah. This is it.
32:17
Like, this is it. It's really moody and then
32:19
we realized, oh, no. The TV was just on,
32:21
like, zero contrast. I
32:24
actually have a discussion today about how Carrie Lake reminds
32:26
us a little bit of the Merrill Street character from
32:29
that movie. And all I retain from that
32:31
film, which I have seen one time in
32:33
the theater, is a very specific moment is when Meryl Streep
32:35
is describing the case she would make for her
32:37
son and she describes his heroism
32:39
in battle and it ends with her saying in the
32:41
desert, in the dark and she goes
32:43
like this with her fist and it is seared
32:45
on my fucking brain. Do you
32:47
remember that in the desert, in the dark? It's so
32:49
cool. Merrell so cool. So cool. Here's
32:51
a question. One time, my friend Spencer
32:53
and I, we got Chipotle burritos and we snuck
32:55
them in our pockets into a movie that we
32:57
thought was gonna be empty, but it was really
32:59
quite full. and we were
33:01
sitting towards the end and it was there was
33:03
a couple empty seats and it was the two of us and there
33:05
was, like, two people next to us and we whipped
33:07
out our super stinky
33:09
fucking Chipotle logs.
33:11
And Spencer was next to me and then that a
33:13
stranger was next to them Stranger,
33:15
Tap Spencer, and Ted, would you guys mind sliding
33:17
over because those things are really strong?
33:19
And Spencer said, now
33:22
we're good. How much
33:25
gel should we have gotten using?
33:27
A lot. A lot. We're really
33:29
villains. Yeah. Because I this is my issue
33:31
with airports too. don't bring that shit on
33:33
the plane. Like, don't like people getting
33:36
burgers and burritos. It's like, I get
33:38
it. The plane's not serving you food, but that
33:40
shit is we're in a small keep I I try respect
33:42
myself. I'm just eating trail mix, tweezers,
33:44
keep it simple. Hard disagree. Bring
33:46
whatever you want. I
33:50
ate a full sushi meal during house
33:52
bunny. Nice. Bringing
33:54
sushi into a movie theater, Nulu and
33:56
Glendale sushi. It was
33:58
like mall sushi going
33:59
to see how it's by the way. Were
34:02
you
34:02
using a fork or chopsticks?
34:04
Probably a little bit both. I probably was
34:06
using my hands too at certain points and make sure I get all that
34:08
good stuff up. when
34:09
I lived at eleven and forty third, I
34:11
would Great area. Great
34:14
area. I would wear cargo shorts, and then I
34:16
go to the movies a time square and I would put
34:18
a big mac in the left side and the fries on
34:20
the right side. When
34:22
I was living my best life
34:25
power, paralegaling by day -- Oh.
34:27
-- breaking the rules at the AMC
34:29
by night. Living my best life.
34:31
Alright. So good. So good.
34:33
Six times. Look. We've
34:35
all been been busy in
34:37
the world
34:38
of politics. But fortunately for
34:40
us, Paul and Amy have been keeping an eye.
34:42
on the AFI one hundred. It's a great position. I
34:44
like it. Thank you. And it's time
34:46
for a game we're calling dazzling images
34:48
on a huge silver screen. Still
34:52
from the Nicole. Still from the Nicole Kidman. That's accurate. It's in
34:54
there. People don't I didn't remember that
34:56
that sentence is in there because
34:59
We're still so stuck on heartbreak feeling good in a place
35:01
like this. I'm just looking at her. I'm
35:03
like, I'm living a whole
35:05
other thing just I'm
35:06
connected. I have
35:07
the t shirt that says heartbreak looks good in a place like this.
35:08
I know. It's awesome. And I feel nervous when I'm wearing it
35:10
too
35:10
in AMC, like, it's like wearing the shirt to
35:13
the concert. should she be watching days of thunder when she's saying
35:16
heart rate looks good in a place like
35:18
this? Wait. Is that what's on the screen? I it
35:21
should be. It should be days of thunder. We're far and away.
35:23
Far and away. Here's how it
35:26
works. We're gonna read you three log
35:28
lines for a movie on the AFI
35:30
one hundred the updated version
35:32
where they took out birth of a nation because come
35:34
on. The updated list twelve
35:36
years ago, there's one person of
35:38
color as a director and zero
35:40
female directors. and they've just not gotten around to updating that top one
35:42
hundred list of for twelve
35:44
years. Twelve years while Nothing
35:46
goods come out in the last twelve years.
35:49
Fargo got kicked off from
35:51
that last slip. Fargo fell off the bottom?
35:53
Yeah. Fall off the bottom and her
35:55
still on there. Come on. Ben Huron. Get it off of
35:57
there. I know. Come on. When I was a
35:59
kid, we watched Ben Huron
36:02
Laser Desk. I don't like
36:04
this player. I love it.
36:06
Flip it. Alright. Here we go.
36:08
The only way to watch
36:10
movies stop.
36:13
Here's how
36:14
that works. Alright. We're gonna
36:16
read three long lines, one of which is the correct
36:18
one, two of which Amy and Paul have
36:20
made up. Alright? Your job will be to
36:22
pick out the real log line. Or if you
36:25
select one from our guests, they get a
36:27
point. Okay. You can't have seen the full
36:29
AFI one hundred like a freak. You know,
36:31
he wants somebody who's not like not I'm a movie expert. I got this.
36:33
Be somebody who's like, I think
36:35
I know movies.
36:37
Yeah. somebody who
36:39
likes a Huey Halloween like me. And, you know,
36:41
and
36:41
maybe you're more hubby than you
36:43
are on Ketchum. I love
36:45
movies. I've seen all the Marvel movies. That's the
36:48
way. Yeah. Exactly.
36:50
I've seen the MCU with Ben app
36:52
reflect being daredevil and the new guy being daredevil. I got it all.
36:55
Old school, new school. That's my Sean
36:57
Connery. That's my Roger. more.
37:00
I love classic movies like The Mask, Ace
37:03
Ventura. I like Reeboots like
37:05
Son of The Mask. Alright.
37:09
Let's bring the lights up. And Kendra's
37:11
out there. Raise your hand if you'd like to play
37:13
the game. What's the last
37:14
movie you saw? The last
37:16
movie I saw? Yeah.
37:18
I watched Greece
37:20
two this
37:21
morning. Perfect. You
37:23
know, it doesn't get talked enough enough,
37:25
about enough, but I actually think like,
37:27
drinking in the morning and watching a movie in
37:29
the morning, give us a
37:32
question. Like, watching a movie in the
37:34
what in the morning. But with
37:36
breakfast.
37:36
Do you work
37:38
a graveyard shift in the morning is your night?
37:40
I had some work
37:41
to finish up, so I
37:43
just put on a movie before my PTO
37:45
started today. And Greece two
37:47
is my favorite movie.
37:49
Okay. Okay. Probably
37:52
relevant information. You're as a med head. Adrian's a med star of grease tube. don't
37:54
worry about it. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. And what
37:56
is your name? Alison.
37:57
Alison, hi.
37:59
hi So rude. started
38:01
attacking you before I got your name. I like to get the name before I begin the attack.
38:03
Alright. So, Alison, is time
38:05
for you to choose which long
38:07
line you believe is
38:10
correct. For the nineteen sixty seven's
38:12
in the heat of the night from
38:14
director, it says here
38:16
Norman Jewishin Here are your three options.
38:18
Oh, it's his name
38:20
as as a true person's name. A
38:22
true famous
38:24
direct It's not like that's not an
38:26
anti Semitic name. It's his real name. Oh, the
38:28
audience, like, oh, don't we don't like that. We
38:30
don't like they're on a hair sugar tonight.
38:34
They're on a hair sugar tonight. Alright. Here we go. a,
38:36
a black detective is mistakenly accused
38:38
of murder in a racist Mississippi town.
38:41
After being cleared, the town's police chief asked him to solve
38:44
that very murder. Mhmm. When an
38:45
innocent man, Sydney Poirier, is found
38:48
holding the murder weapon to a
38:50
violent crime It's up to a
38:52
racist cop with a loyalty to the law to
38:54
help clear his name in the
38:56
southern who'd done it.
38:58
And see, On the
38:58
hottest day of summer in the nineteen sixties Memphis, Sydney
39:00
Portier inadvertently starts a twenty four hour riot when
39:02
he attempts to sit at the counter of a
39:05
segregated ice cream parlor. In
39:07
the heat of the night. In the heat of the night. In the
39:09
heat of Madison. It's it's no grease too, but people
39:11
like it. Yeah.
39:14
b. b.
39:16
It's
39:16
a good answer. I like that. It's
39:18
incorrect. It's incorrect. That
39:20
yep. That's that was my nice. Paul
39:22
gets a point. There we go. Yes.
39:26
Thank you. More
39:28
people like Reese do. Anyone else like Reese
39:30
do. Bye bye. The correct
39:32
was the one about being
39:34
clear and then asked solve the
39:37
very murder of which he was accused. Next up,
39:39
its nineteen fifties
39:42
Sunset Boulevard from director
39:44
Darlie Wilder. Hi. What's your name? Ian.
39:46
You look like Kyle McLaughlin from this
39:48
angle. May just be the way the light is sitting, and I
39:50
look like this is exciting. You look like someone who say
39:52
they haven't seen sunset Boulevard, but actually has. We
39:55
were supposed to see it, but
39:57
we couldn't make it happen. So
39:59
I haven't seen it. You couldn't make it happen. It's been
40:01
out since literally the
40:04
fifties. Sorry. I couldn't
40:06
can't pull it off. Can't get it done. Which
40:08
one now? and
40:10
nineteen fifty three. What
40:12
what was the last movie that you saw?
40:14
No judgment. She made
40:15
me watch clueless. a couple
40:17
of nights. Great. Great. I I will tell you
40:20
something. I don't like she made me watch. I
40:22
don't like how it felt. I didn't like it the
40:24
way
40:26
it sounded. Did you like it? Who is Emma, by the way? I mean,
40:28
Jane Austin is classic. Trust me. I heard all
40:30
about that. I joined
40:32
past the mic. Past the mic.
40:34
Hi. What's the name? I'm Veronica. I'm sorry. What
40:36
is it? Veronica. Veronica. Hi. Let's
40:39
talk to you. Have
40:41
you seen Sunset Boulevard? I
40:44
can't remember. I don't think I have, but I know it's about.
40:46
So I think this
40:47
is cheating. Okay. Back to Ian. Back
40:49
to Ian. Back to Ian. Ian,
40:52
when someone you love is excited to share
40:54
with you something they
40:56
love, I would say, don't say
40:58
they made you watch that. But
41:00
you're right. But to be
41:02
an in defender, did you like it?
41:04
And if you didn't like it, you could be honest too. It
41:06
was a good time. Okay. It was
41:08
fine. He's lying. He didn't lie. He ate it. Oh,
41:10
wow. Wow. Okay. Alrighty.
41:12
He's on. Alrighty. And, well, I don't know
41:14
if you're not gonna like clueless you have a taste
41:16
issue, so maybe sunset Boulevardism for
41:18
you either because it
41:20
rules. Here are your three
41:22
options a. An aging starlet on her deathbed is visited by all
41:24
the roles she played as she learned how each
41:26
performance change her from
41:28
a person a person to
41:30
a star. Oh. William Gish suspected her fortunes
41:32
would change when she and her sister
41:34
Darthy left Broadway for Los Angeles
41:37
in nineteen fifteen. but she could
41:39
never have imagined they both land parts in
41:42
DW Griffith's intolerance, the
41:44
most ambitious, silent spectacular
41:46
ever made. made in nineteen fifty this Oscar winner is Hollywood's
41:48
first major try at telling
41:50
its own biography
41:52
through film. to see,
41:54
after
41:54
witnessing a monkey funeral, a
41:56
screenwriter develops a relationship with a silent film
41:58
star who's determined to have a second
42:00
act at
42:02
any cost. Ian,
42:02
what do you think? B is incredibly thorough. B is detailed.
42:04
But I'm gonna go with a because
42:07
I know Patty LePoon
42:10
played the main character on
42:12
Broadway. Oh. And she's got big aging starlet
42:15
energy. Wow. Wow.
42:20
Kendra is from the guy who's right
42:22
clueless. Ian. I love
42:24
Ian. We Ian, we
42:26
love you. in, you are wrong. You're
42:28
wrong. What is this so many
42:30
love? Everyone's
42:32
furious. The correct
42:34
answer was c. It actually does
42:36
begin with a monkey funeral. Who's
42:38
was it? Mine. Paul wins. Paul
42:41
gets a second point. Ian, thank you for
42:43
playing. What I like about Ian is you didn't hide away from
42:45
any of your thoughts. No. And
42:47
we should embrace that too. Like,
42:49
if they weren't awful
42:51
thoughts, but they were honest. And I do think that there is
42:54
something about Look, famously, Ian wears his heart
42:56
on his sleeve. Alright.
42:58
Next up, We have
43:00
nineteen thirty eights bringing up
43:02
baby. Hi. What's your name?
43:04
Hi.
43:04
I'm Erica. Erica, how
43:05
are you? I'm well. How are you? And you're promising us you
43:07
haven't seen bringing up baby. I haven't, but I have
43:10
seen a
43:10
lot of drag race references about it.
43:13
So Okay. Well, I
43:14
let's see what that does for you. That's okay. I
43:16
think by the way, you are
43:18
thinking about whatever happened to baby Jane.
43:20
Yes, I am. Oh my
43:22
god.
43:29
Alright. Here we
43:32
go. Hey, a hapless.
43:34
A hapless family intelligence. is
43:37
pursued by a daphyris and together they attempt to break her pet leopard
43:39
out of a zoo with hilarious
43:41
results. Cary Grant just lost his job and
43:43
his wife Catherine Hepburn
43:46
is the one who took it. Now the roles
43:48
are reversed as he has to become the woman of
43:50
the house. Clark Gable is a playboy
43:52
archaeologist
43:52
who has ventured to Persia on
43:56
a quest to find the Garden of
43:58
Eden, but he instead refunds a freshly hatched brontosaurus. Baby. And
44:00
a local girl played by Claude at
44:02
Colbert, who will do anything to convince him
44:04
to keep
44:06
her villages secret. Wow. Mhmm. Right, Erica.
44:07
What do you think? Oh, boy. Think about Drag
44:09
Race. I think about Drag Race. Then put
44:12
it out of
44:14
your mind. because they can't help you. They don't talk about this
44:16
one. Okay. I'm just gonna
44:18
go with b
44:18
and I have no idea why, but
44:22
Oh, no. Someone's whispering. It's a. Is a? Is
44:24
that b?
44:24
Is that b? Is that b? No.
44:27
No. No. No. No. It's
44:29
a no. It was Who's was b?
44:32
Mine. Jeez. Bam. Bam.
44:34
Right. Wow, Amy. What's happening? I
44:36
was really hoping people would get confused with the nineteen eighties movie baby
44:38
that does have a babyresource. Oh,
44:41
baby. Oh, wow.
44:42
Yeah. I was
44:44
You gotta bring up baby Some dumbbell. Well, baby boom is the
44:46
dankies. Yeah. Next up, we're gonna
44:48
go to nineteen forty two's Yankee
44:52
Doodle dandy. from director Michael Curtis. Hi. What's your
44:54
name? Alex.
44:54
Alex. Are you ready to
44:57
figure out what Yankee
44:57
Doodle Dandy from nineteen forty two is
44:59
all about? We'll
45:02
see. Okay. Alright. a a saga
45:04
of friendship in betrayal at a pivotal point
45:06
in American history, Paul Revere, played
45:09
by Paul Muney, and Benedict Arnold by Jimmy
45:12
Cagnon are fighting side by side in the
45:14
continental army when an accidental slight
45:16
from George Washington, Spencer Tracy, who would
45:18
go on receive a best supporting
45:20
actor nomination sets the
45:22
childhood chums on opposing paths.
45:23
Okay. B. The
45:25
biopic of that famous man we
45:27
all know, composer, playwright actor, dancer,
45:29
and singer, George m Cohen.
45:32
See,
45:32
the great Jimmy CAGNY plays a mobster
45:34
who sings
45:34
and dances his way through Prohibition in
45:38
this failed musical
45:39
comedy. What do you say? So you really
45:42
wanted me to not
45:42
know the answer, and it's good because I don't.
45:46
I'm just gonna go with my gut and say c makes me the
45:50
happiest. It is not c. It is
45:52
actually a
45:54
biography of George m
45:56
Cohen. But it it would be
45:58
better if it were a musical comedy starring
46:01
Jimmy CAGNY, whose was Bam. Wow.
46:04
Let's do one more and
46:06
just I'm gonna try to cheat and help
46:08
you know which one Amy's is, I guess.
46:12
Alright. It's nineteen seventy one's the
46:14
last picture show from director
46:16
Peter Bogdanovic. Peter Bogdanovic
46:18
who also played Jennifer
46:20
Melphy's therapist On the
46:22
Sopranos. Did anyone's TV go out at
46:24
the end of that? I was watching it and
46:26
I was Hi.
46:29
What's your name? I'm Audrey. Audrey?
46:31
Yes. Have you seen this movie?
46:33
No. Good. Great. Here
46:35
we go. Cool. when a rural Texas cow learns its
46:37
sole movie theater will be bulldozed for a gas station,
46:40
the theater's young projectionist
46:42
Ron Howard rallies his
46:44
friends to save the cinema triggering a showdown
46:46
between the older generation and the rising hippie
46:48
movement. An aging director
46:50
from the silent era tries to make a transition into
46:52
talkies with two young actors, civil
46:54
shepherd and Jeff Bridges, but realizes the
46:56
best things are left unsaid.
46:59
In
46:59
nineteen fifty one, teens struggle
47:01
to come of age in a harrowingly bleak
47:03
North Texas town in this movie, which makes
47:05
straight people's attempt to lose their
47:07
virginity, seem like Texas chainsaw, massacre level
47:10
bad.
47:10
Oh, no. Audrey,
47:12
what do you think? Movie theater, bulldozed,
47:16
silent movie or Texas chainsaw, virginity.
47:18
I'm gonna
47:21
go with a,
47:23
hey the bulldozing 10I
47:25
actually just
47:26
buy a body language. First of all, you're wrong. Okay.
47:28
That's fine. And was the virginity
47:32
one? It was about the teens coming of age in a bleak North Texas
47:34
town. Andy And he got a
47:36
boy. Andy got a boy. We got it. Oh,
47:38
thank god. oh god
47:40
That is our game. Thanks everybody for Thank you for Thank
47:42
you to Paul and Amy for being What a pleasure.
47:44
Go right back for Halloween. Everybody. Go
47:47
check out unschooled a fantastic pod. Going through classic
47:49
movies, you'll love it so much. It's a great podcast
47:51
to listen as you watch those old movies. So thank you
47:53
both for being
47:56
here. Let us return again to those
47:58
of
47:58
us that have gone before like the Beto
47:59
Sex
48:01
Tweed Lady. November
48:04
twenty eighteen, she was a poet
48:07
of horniness, a bard of cringe.
48:09
To most of us, Beto O'Rourke
48:11
was a promising Texas a Democrat
48:13
with a strange fondness for standing on tables. But to one
48:15
beautiful twisted mind, he was,
48:17
and I, quote, who
48:20
is all sweet and nerdy, but holds
48:22
you down and makes you come until
48:25
your calves cramp. It
48:28
takes a powerful tweet to ruin the word calves
48:32
forever. None of us has calves
48:34
anymore. We have bottom
48:36
like bluffs. And we'll
48:38
never be able to look Beto
48:40
in the eyes again. But that's the
48:42
kind of main character Beto's sex treat
48:45
lady was. a brave annihilator of language,
48:47
of discourse, and of our minds. We
48:49
salute her until our wrist
48:52
cramp. We
48:54
come back. and Helen
48:56
Peterson is
48:56
here to give
48:58
you the work advice you you desperately
49:00
need.
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And we're back.
52:26
And while all
52:27
this madness happens in the world around
52:28
us, we still have to get up every day
52:32
and make our little bowl of slop, put on our pants one trembling
52:34
leg at a time and clock in. Here to talk
52:36
to us about working to live and living to work is
52:38
the host of crooked's own
52:40
work appropriate. And
52:41
Helen Peter said,
52:44
hi
52:45
welcome. Good to see you. Thanks for being here. Thanks
52:47
for being here. Crooked
52:49
Media. We've gone hybrid. Roughly three days
52:51
and two days off. Yeah. Okay. You quote that?
52:53
Well,
52:53
I hear that some people in the office wanna be
52:56
there a little bit more. Hell
52:57
yeah. I
52:58
hear
52:59
that it's some of the guys that wanna
53:01
be in the maybe the founders who wanna be
53:03
in the office a little bit more.
53:05
cut this. Let's keep moving. I
53:09
get it. If my best friends were in the office
53:12
and my dog was in the office
53:13
too, that'd be cool. this segment
53:15
is over. So we've
53:18
kind of moved past the startup eras.
53:20
We are a family. things
53:23
like a toxic idea -- not family. Yeah.
53:25
Yeah. Families are talking. Yeah.
53:27
Yeah. It's a toxic family. Like, because,
53:29
like, Elizabeth Holmes
53:32
is your family. You know what I mean? What do you think is the right analogy?
53:34
Do you like team? I
53:36
mean,
53:36
team is
53:37
so like corporate speak. Right?
53:40
Right. I I think just because I came up through a weird
53:42
realm of academia. We're no one would
53:44
ever
53:44
say we're on the same team. I would be like,
53:46
we're fighting each other
53:47
to the desk. That's more academia.
53:50
co players. I don't know. Like, there's no good metaphor. There's
53:52
no good
53:52
what what do you
53:53
think? What's the metaphor that you would like
53:55
to use? Campus.
53:56
you know, we're all going to we're a
53:58
camp. I like campers. What about
53:59
when you were in, like, the White House? I felt
54:01
I was part of a great team and I was
54:04
desperately trying to stay included
54:06
in. Yeah. You know, hanging on, like, high
54:08
school all the time. High school. Well, I
54:10
think sometimes, I think a lot of offices
54:12
have high school vibes, which can be kind of
54:14
toxic. Right. Yes. One hundred You
54:16
hear about that a lot? It depends on the
54:18
industry. Industries where
54:18
you have older people don't feel
54:21
as high school necessarily, heard advertising agencies
54:23
described as pretty high school to me a lot, the
54:25
banking industry just generally.
54:26
Sometimes law firms like junior
54:28
associates, that sort of thing. Freddie,
54:30
I think more
54:32
than high school. I have a question. Yeah. Meetings where everybody's in a room
54:34
together, I think, are an ideal. Right? They just it's
54:37
the How many people? Talking about a meeting where people can
54:39
really talk and have a conversation. Let's
54:41
say, to eight people. Yeah. I find that six to eight people all
54:43
in a room together works. Yeah. Six
54:46
to eight people all on Zoom
54:48
doesn't work as well,
54:50
but work. Right? It's a good small room for being together as
54:52
best as you can get. It's missing some things, but you
54:54
can get have a conversation. Yeah. But
54:56
we still
54:58
totally landed on how to have a conversation when
55:00
it's five in the room and three on
55:02
the Zoom or five on the Zoom
55:04
and three in a room. It
55:06
ends up being wherever the majority is, that's the meeting, and
55:08
the other people are watching that meeting.
55:10
Especially if you have
55:11
the technology
55:14
where the people who are not in the room are like that big
55:16
in the background. Right? They're just
55:18
like overloading over the
55:20
entire conversation.
55:23
and you just it's very awkward, I think. And
55:25
this is why lots of companies are trying
55:27
to figure out this, like,
55:29
technology that may people look the same size. Right? Like, if you
55:31
were in the office. And also,
55:34
most companies don't have the the
55:36
sound stuff down quite right
55:39
So
55:39
Yes. Go stand next to the speaker. Yeah. They've just stand
55:41
next to the speaker or everyone's just in
55:43
their individual offices, zooming.
55:46
Yeah. Right? That's rough too. That's
55:48
rough too. In
55:49
the film demolition guy is in a in
55:51
a city they call San Angeles
55:53
for no reason. because
55:56
everyone knows that if we have a bad enough earthquake, it becomes a
55:58
sanctuary, doesn't make
55:59
any sense. They solve this by having
56:02
everyone in a commerce room, but every person's on
56:04
a little
56:06
screen. that rotates and faces people. Okay. Do you think we should
56:08
try that? It's
56:09
forward thinking. Right? And since they also are
56:11
not a lot of curse. If you curse, you get a citation, but
56:13
you can use your wiper butt. I
56:16
well, what
56:16
do you think? What's the perfect scenario
56:18
for you? Like, holograms like that? I like
56:21
I don't hate it. me and the metaverse.
56:23
That that's online.
56:24
I don't think so. I'd like to stay
56:26
out of Mark's metaverse for as long as
56:28
possible. Anne Helen Peterson is
56:30
graciously agreed. This is somebody who
56:34
has people from all over the world desperately seeking your counsel at all hours.
56:36
Your inbox is filled with questions that you
56:38
are unable to get to -- Yeah. -- twenty
56:40
four hours a day. We do have a lot of
56:44
The point is you here tonight have an
56:46
incredible opportunity which is to ask
56:48
and your questions how to
56:50
survive at work how to bring your true
56:52
self to work, how to get the most
56:54
out of work. Yeah. We
56:55
call it workplace quandary. That's the
56:56
word place. Quandries. Let's bring the lights
56:59
up. I believe Kendra is back out
57:01
there. Do we have a question? Oh, okay. Let's go to what's
57:03
your name? Boot. No.
57:04
No. Just
57:09
Fucking unbelievable. I don't know. This is
57:12
unbelievable. Say any
57:16
name in
57:18
the world. Sir, I It's
57:20
really nice to listen. Hi.
57:22
What's your name? John. John.
57:25
John Jesus Christ. you
57:27
could have picked any name in the world,
57:30
and you looked at me and send my
57:32
name to me. What's
57:34
your question, John? Helen
57:36
Peterson. Hi. So I've worked
57:38
at many tech startups. Wow.
57:42
Amazing. And I know. I
57:44
know. And they all suffer
57:46
from petty tyrant syndrome.
57:48
Uh-huh. As a
57:49
rank and file worker at a
57:51
tech startup, Is there anything can do other than quit?
57:53
The correct answer
57:54
specifically for this audience is that
57:56
you unionize. I think that's hard.
57:58
I think that tech used
57:59
to it. I think that they are
58:01
like, we're nimble. We're lean. We're
58:03
trying to, like, make decisions fast.
58:05
We don't have any time for things
58:07
like workers' rights.
58:08
or an HR department. Right?
58:10
But I've dropped to the Union hint
58:12
numerous times and I don't get any
58:14
traction from my colleagues.
58:15
Yeah. It's hard. Like, how do you
58:17
build solidarity amongst people who also kind of wanna be
58:19
the tyrant themselves. Yeah. Like, you can find the right
58:22
environment to try to move forward with that, and sometimes
58:24
that it's more likely to happen in
58:26
larger companies. But other than
58:28
quitting, I mean, sometimes I think this
58:30
is the thing about someone with high demand
58:32
skills, which a lot of people who work
58:34
in tech startups have those
58:36
skills. They can say, this is
58:38
too toxic. Yeah.
58:38
I'm not gonna put up with this shit,
58:41
and I'm gonna
58:42
leave. and
58:43
not many people
58:45
have that power in our
58:47
work environment. I bet it's really frustrating though
58:49
to have to over and over again and be like, oh,
58:51
look at this company. making the exact same decisions that lead
58:53
people to burn out and -- Yeah. -- leave the
58:56
company over and over and over again.
58:58
So I I mean, I guess you
59:00
could think start your own
59:02
company that doesn't do
59:04
that? That's
59:04
a solution. Okay. Or start your own company
59:06
where you rule with an iron fist.
59:10
also a solution. My very last
59:12
thing is that I have a better job now,
59:14
so I don't Amazing. Does this is no longer
59:16
a problem. Thanks,
59:18
John. Let's have another
59:20
question. I'll get one up
59:22
here. Hi. What's your name? My name is
59:24
Byron. Hi, Byron. What is
59:27
your question? My question is is I recently got
59:29
a promotion and yes.
59:31
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank
59:33
you. I am the youngest in my company
59:35
by quite a bit. Everyone that
59:38
works sort of underneath me
59:40
is quite a bit older and they
59:42
don't see me as a boss related to them yet.
59:44
How can I get them to notice me like
59:46
that. I mean, like, dorkier
59:47
clothes. It's actually
59:50
interested because I can see looking at you
59:52
that you present a white man. I
59:55
do. Yes. And usually those people
59:57
get a lot more authority even when
59:59
they're younger than
59:59
other people who
1:00:02
have to address a certain way or speak a certain
1:00:04
way or present themselves in a certain way
1:00:06
to have that vested authority? Can
1:00:08
I ask Like, is it just
1:00:10
your age do you think? Or do you think that they're
1:00:11
like I did start a bit lower and I did
1:00:14
get a promotion to go
1:00:16
above them. Yeah. Recently. So
1:00:18
it's kind of like I was at their same
1:00:20
level now a bit higher and they don't realize that yet and it's kinda odd at
1:00:22
times because they still treat me like
1:00:26
Yeah.
1:00:26
Yeah. I have a pitch. Yeah. Yeah. Tell
1:00:28
me. Here's what you do. Yep. Alright. You find
1:00:30
the oldest, widest, ballast,
1:00:34
most emotionally unavailable man
1:00:36
-- k. -- that you can and you beat the
1:00:38
ever loving
1:00:39
shit up. k?
1:00:41
My other advice
1:00:43
would other on
1:00:46
top
1:00:46
of that. I mean, I think that
1:00:48
there's a way that you can
1:00:51
start to position yourself as somewhat
1:00:52
more of authority that isn't
1:00:54
just like power move, like, sending kind
1:00:56
of passive aggressive emails or the sorts of
1:00:58
things that managers often do to kind of
1:01:00
leverage their power, assigning and
1:01:03
praising work. Right? Like, one of the
1:01:05
ways that I know someone has more authority than
1:01:07
me is when they tell me very specifically all the
1:01:08
ways that I've done a good job. First
1:01:11
of
1:01:11
all, it feels good because they're telling you that you're doing good job. But then it
1:01:13
also is showing like I am one of the people
1:01:15
who can tell you that you're doing
1:01:17
a good job. So
1:01:19
I would try approach at least at first with
1:01:22
this idea of like, how do I make
1:01:24
them feel really good?
1:01:26
And also, leverage that
1:01:27
understanding as well. So your carrot and stick approach is what I'm kind of gathering.
1:01:29
You know? Thanks,
1:01:34
Brian. Hi. What's
1:01:35
your name? Kristen. Kristen, what's your
1:01:37
question? I was, I
1:01:38
think, successful at the beginning of working in
1:01:40
my company by being really useful to
1:01:44
a lot people. Like, we have poorly scoped roles. We're growing quickly.
1:01:46
So when there's stuff to do, I was like, oh, I'll do that.
1:01:48
Or we have more managers than people who
1:01:50
do things. I was like, me. I
1:01:52
can help. I am now in
1:01:54
a role where I manage people
1:01:56
and it's less about doing things and sort
1:01:58
of enabling other people to do stuff. But
1:01:59
whenever there's floating around work. It's
1:02:02
like, oh, she'll do that. And I would like to
1:02:04
transition away from being the, like, oh, she'll do
1:02:06
that person. And I'm curious about your
1:02:08
advice is. I will also say for the people listening home that you are a
1:02:10
woman and that this is
1:02:12
oftentimes the thing that happens
1:02:12
to women in the workplace. Right? Is
1:02:15
that
1:02:15
they start doing these
1:02:17
sort of assistive jobs. Right? That they're
1:02:20
like, I don't know how to download a
1:02:22
PDF. I don't know how
1:02:23
to download PowerPoint as
1:02:25
a PDF. I don't know how to send an attachment. These are
1:02:27
all real things that people have told me about
1:02:29
some difficulties that they've had in their offices. Yours
1:02:31
might be slightly different, but you you
1:02:34
have skills And also,
1:02:36
women are often conditioned to be
1:02:38
helpers in whatever capacity, so it
1:02:40
feels natural, and then it keeps
1:02:42
going. Like, but I've grown beyond
1:02:44
that role. and
1:02:44
this is no longer my job. So how do you say that in
1:02:46
a way that is not that
1:02:48
is now passive
1:02:49
aggressive or makes
1:02:52
people
1:02:52
feel like you are
1:02:54
being a bitch. This is
1:02:56
hard. And I think that one way
1:02:58
is like you to other people, that is
1:03:01
their job now if they actually have that
1:03:03
job, or you have to point to the fact
1:03:05
you're like, I'm sorry, I I'm really
1:03:07
focused on doing this work
1:03:09
right now. Again, doing it with kindness in
1:03:11
terms of like saying, this is no longer in my
1:03:13
job description, and I have to set this
1:03:16
boundary in order to not be person
1:03:18
for the rest of my career at this
1:03:20
workplace. Because otherwise, you are gonna be the
1:03:22
person teaching people to
1:03:24
download as a PDF, save as a PDF
1:03:26
for the rest of
1:03:27
your career. So you have
1:03:28
to stop it now before
1:03:30
it becomes like your identity at that
1:03:32
workplace. It's hard.
1:03:33
Thank
1:03:34
you. Alright, Kendra.
1:03:36
Should we just go to that voice mail? Beep. Yeah. And, hi,
1:03:39
this is a voice mail. So my boss
1:03:41
is this, like, funny Jewish.
1:03:44
Alright. gay, geriatric
1:03:47
millennial. And I'm I'm
1:03:49
this, like, funny bi Jewish,
1:03:51
like, young shiny object. So
1:03:53
I've got a big range. I've got more energy. So my
1:03:56
guys my question is, like, how do you kind of gently
1:03:58
suggest to a superior that there's only room for
1:03:59
one of you and it should
1:04:02
be me? First
1:04:04
of all, III
1:04:04
prefer the word elder millennial
1:04:07
to geriatric millennial just generally.
1:04:09
I
1:04:09
agree with that. That's
1:04:11
smart. Yeah.
1:04:11
What what is your advice for this one? My
1:04:14
advice
1:04:14
would be for someone
1:04:16
to show a little fucking gratitude.
1:04:21
once in a while. And to say
1:04:24
that some of us elder
1:04:26
millennials, we have a lot left to
1:04:28
give. Alright? And it's not
1:04:30
yet time. to push us out on the ice flow. It took
1:04:32
you a while to get there
1:04:34
though. I had to think of a
1:04:36
reason. The other option he
1:04:38
was gonna ask is, what do I
1:04:40
do if my boss thinks Elon Musk is a
1:04:42
genius? Alright.
1:04:46
Alright. everybody. But what would you if your boss saying, you know asking.
1:04:48
The segment is over. Thank you, Anno
1:04:50
and Peterson. Everybody check out
1:04:52
work appropriate. It's awesome. Subscribe
1:04:55
right now. You'll love it. When we come
1:04:58
back, Lisa and Walter's
1:05:00
here. Ever
1:05:04
back, You
1:05:06
know
1:05:07
her, you love her. You've seen her
1:05:09
most recently in the hit Abbott Elementary. Please log
1:05:11
in to the stage Lisa
1:05:13
and Walter.
1:05:16
Hi. Hi.
1:05:21
Welcome. Welcome.
1:05:22
Thank you. What
1:05:24
now? What is happening here? We throw
1:05:26
the cards. We throw the cards. So I
1:05:28
we feel like your character from Abbot elementary would
1:05:30
be a big veteran, Galli degree. Oh,
1:05:32
god. Huge Federman. Huge Federman.
1:05:36
Freak. to
1:05:37
my other name for Federman. I think Melissa Shimente would
1:05:39
be big in the Federman. Not just because
1:05:41
he dresses like you just don't
1:05:43
give a shit, although that's
1:05:46
that's that's a a big selling point for
1:05:48
me personally as well. But I just
1:05:49
think because he speaks to truth, he
1:05:51
speaks what he's thinking, It seems like
1:05:53
a good dude. Like, he's just got his kids all dressed like him. He's a
1:05:55
little lurch. Right?
1:05:56
Yeah. I
1:05:58
had to
1:05:59
stop myself. because when he
1:06:02
won, right
1:06:02
after I stopped, like,
1:06:05
having an orgasm. Right? It
1:06:08
was a long
1:06:10
one. Nice. right after I finished, well, I went right to
1:06:12
Twitter, you know, as you do. And I
1:06:14
was like,
1:06:14
congrats, you giant goon.
1:06:17
I'm like, that's not I
1:06:19
can't call him that. He's a senator now. I
1:06:21
can't call him that. Can't wait to see him
1:06:23
in a suit? I don't feel
1:06:25
like that's gonna happen. Look,
1:06:27
If fucking Jim Jordan can go
1:06:29
his entire congressional career without
1:06:32
putting a jacket on, I I don't know who he
1:06:34
thinks he's kidding. I one
1:06:36
time started a thing on Twitter. I
1:06:38
wish it was real, but it wasn't. It was a
1:06:40
made up charity called jackets
1:06:42
for gym. And I had
1:06:44
people actually trying to donate
1:06:46
money to him. They were like, where do we send
1:06:48
the check? And then people were getting
1:06:50
mad, like,
1:06:52
I think
1:06:52
there's better uses for our money. I'm like, yeah.
1:06:56
You're stupid. What are you stupid?
1:06:58
So I said so
1:07:00
teachers really love
1:07:02
the way Abbott Elementary portrays the
1:07:04
obstacles. Teachers face -- Yeah. -- because
1:07:06
you had Title One Schools. What have you heard? He just tells
1:07:08
a little bit about what you've heard from teachers
1:07:10
we've heard wonderful things from teachers. In fact, I've said often,
1:07:12
you know, when people compliment us
1:07:14
online that it's really the only
1:07:18
critique that matters to not just to me, but to
1:07:20
Quinta and the cast of the show
1:07:22
is when
1:07:23
people tell
1:07:26
us we watch with our family. I went I took my side note.
1:07:28
I took my family to Disney
1:07:30
because one of the things that they give you
1:07:32
when you work on a Disney show
1:07:35
Usually, they're just like, you don't really get a lot
1:07:37
of money, but you work for Disney.
1:07:40
Like,
1:07:40
that makes up for it. But in this way,
1:07:42
it really does. they let you one
1:07:44
time a year take ten people to Disneyland. And
1:07:46
because one
1:07:47
of my I have identical twins born on
1:07:49
the same day as the twins in the parent trap.
1:07:51
Did you guys know this? is absolutely true,
1:07:53
identical boys. And one of them has a girlfriend
1:07:55
that's like a Disney adult. You
1:07:57
know these people.
1:07:59
So we we love her. She's a sweet
1:08:02
girl, but now she has
1:08:03
turned my son into a
1:08:05
Disney
1:08:05
adult. And So
1:08:08
their birthday, October eleventh, for those of you
1:08:10
who are big parent draft fans. So
1:08:13
we took
1:08:14
them all with all their friends, ten people
1:08:16
to Disneyland. And they had
1:08:18
to make lightsabers, which is two
1:08:20
hundred and
1:08:21
fifty dollars a pop if you
1:08:23
don't know this. money Disney adult. But
1:08:25
the fun thing was is everywhere
1:08:27
I
1:08:27
went, people heard
1:08:29
me talk, they
1:08:31
recognized me. and I had multiple generations say, oh
1:08:34
my god, we watch with the kids or we
1:08:35
watch with the grandparents or all of
1:08:37
us watch together. So that's
1:08:39
super super awesome. the
1:08:42
teachers tell us you portray us
1:08:44
like we're real people and you
1:08:46
dress like
1:08:47
we dress. You're not on a TV
1:08:49
show, look like TV show people. you
1:08:51
know, there's not a designer label in any of our freaking
1:08:53
clothes. We get stuff from Target,
1:08:55
Zara, h and m.
1:08:58
We dress like you
1:08:59
know, Ross, dress for less, a lot of my stuff. I
1:09:01
have like
1:09:01
six pairs of pants that I interchange.
1:09:03
I wear one
1:09:04
pair of Doc Martens for
1:09:06
the entire season. We are trying
1:09:09
to reflect teachers like they are when they're
1:09:11
dealing with their lives and the stuff that
1:09:13
they go through at school. But none
1:09:15
of it is preachy. and
1:09:18
I think that's why they enjoy it because I wouldn't wanna
1:09:21
be a part of a show that was
1:09:23
like,
1:09:23
and here's the message. I am
1:09:25
I'm much prefer
1:09:26
being in something that's funny And
1:09:28
at
1:09:28
the end of
1:09:29
it, you go, oh, there was a message. Oh, that was good. Yeah. That is the best bet.
1:09:31
That's great. That's a good point, Tim. Yeah. Alright.
1:09:33
Now while preparing for
1:09:36
your appearance, we
1:09:37
were a gog at
1:09:39
your IMDP pitch. Okay? Love that
1:09:41
word. Which inspired this game, a game
1:09:44
we're calling,
1:09:44
the game were calling Was
1:09:46
I in this? Here's how it works. The audience wants to tell us, was
1:09:49
Lisa and Walter
1:09:52
in this? Where are my big
1:09:54
Lisa and Walter heads at? Raise your hand if you wanna play and our producer Kendra back out
1:09:56
in the crowd, very audience heavy game
1:09:58
tonight. A mistake we won't
1:09:59
make again. Alright.
1:10:03
And we're gonna ask you
1:10:05
questions go back and forth.
1:10:07
Let's find somebody. What's your name?
1:10:09
I'm Erica. Hi, Lisa. Hi, Erica.
1:10:11
You're so fine. I was upset.
1:10:13
Thank you. Oh, thank you. Alright.
1:10:15
Here we go. In two thousand one,
1:10:17
celebrity chef,
1:10:17
Emeril Legasse, was set to star on
1:10:20
his own Schiller sitcom.
1:10:22
Unfortunately, the show premiere two weeks after nine eleven was
1:10:28
Was this incredible actress sitting beside me
1:10:30
in this show, Erica? I feel like
1:10:34
if you actually was
1:10:35
she was. Chris, Absolutely
1:10:36
true. Alright. Lisa, you're up. Fun
1:10:38
fact. Emeril Legasse ate four plates
1:10:41
of my Big Ziti
1:10:43
and sausage and meatballs. Cool.
1:10:47
Shit, mom. I could throw down.
1:10:49
I put my foot in
1:10:51
it. This phenomenal
1:10:52
performer, that's
1:10:54
me. voice the Courtney Cox character on
1:10:56
the animated TV adaptation of Ace
1:10:58
Ventura pet detective, which was one
1:11:00
of the three television ad rotations
1:11:03
along with the mask animated series and
1:11:05
dumb and dumber. Was I in
1:11:07
this? I'm gonna say yes
1:11:09
again. No. Somebody
1:11:11
stops her. Right. Alright. You wanna do the
1:11:13
next cops. Yeah. You wanna do the next I'll do this one. Okay. Nineteen ninety eight's the
1:11:15
parent trap directed by Nancy
1:11:18
Myers,
1:11:19
two identical twins are separated
1:11:21
birth only to be reunited at summer camp. Did I play
1:11:23
Jesse the salt of the Earth, Nancy, who is skeptical
1:11:26
of this week? have
1:11:29
Switch
1:11:30
places in order to get their parents back together. You did. You're goddamn right
1:11:36
I did. In the two thousand and four
1:11:38
rom com shall we dance, Richard Gear plays a board estate lawyer who signs up for dance lessons from the charming pony
1:11:41
not played by
1:11:44
Jennifer Lopez. leading his wife's Susan Sarandon
1:11:46
to believe he's having an affair was Lisa in this? No. You
1:11:49
bet she
1:11:51
was. I played a
1:11:51
dance student named Bobby, and I
1:11:54
finished the movie doing the
1:11:56
Waltz, the quick
1:11:59
step with
1:11:59
Richard Gear. and the cha cha
1:12:01
with Stanley 2T. The cha cha is cool. I
1:12:03
highly recommend the movie. People say
1:12:06
that doing a cha cha with
1:12:08
Stanley she does
1:12:10
often result in an unintended
1:12:12
pregnancy. That's true. Just don't
1:12:15
back up into him. In
1:12:17
two thousand three, Bruce Almighty,
1:12:19
did I play another Debbie?
1:12:19
No. Yes. Yes. I'm Jennifer
1:12:22
Anderson's sister Debbie. In
1:12:26
the Netflix series Globe, does Lisa play yet
1:12:28
another Debbie? Yeah. No. She
1:12:31
plays Loreen. She plays Loreen in
1:12:33
an episode titled Debbie does something.
1:12:35
But that's kind of a trick question because I'm Debbie's mom. I'm
1:12:37
the star Debbie. Did you see
1:12:39
Glow? Did you guys see
1:12:42
Glow? Betty Gilpin, I'm her mom.
1:12:44
Did I appear in the film more
1:12:46
of the worlds? And did my character survive? Did you appear in the film? Yes.
1:12:48
Correct. Did
1:12:50
not grow up. did arrive.
1:12:53
I really wanted to confirm today whether or not your character survived.
1:12:55
So I did find your scenes in
1:12:59
the film. And Man,
1:13:00
Tom cruise just fucking leaves you behind. He leaves me. Only
1:13:02
just, like and, like, you're you're, like, oh my god, we
1:13:04
found each other. It's so good
1:13:06
to see you thirty seconds later.
1:13:09
alien on the hill, gone. Yeah. But wait a minute. Wait a minute. Here's a fair point. Did you see the
1:13:11
movie word of the world? Okay. So
1:13:14
I'm there with at my
1:13:18
actual daughter in real life because Stephen
1:13:20
Spielberg and Tom loved that I had four
1:13:22
kids. I live in a shoe. I have
1:13:24
eight million children. So we're all talking
1:13:26
about our kids. My vagina is a clown car. These are the jokes. So
1:13:29
I went to, you
1:13:31
know, leave because I did
1:13:33
a first scene where I'm a bar
1:13:35
tender that Tom Cruise sleeps with, that's why he's late getting to his kids
1:13:37
at the very beginning of the movie. And then
1:13:39
they looked at dailies, and they figured out
1:13:42
that Tom Cruise looked like a total horror
1:13:44
bag and not a
1:13:46
good dad
1:13:46
at all. Is that what your called And scene gone. And you
1:13:48
wanna hear something even better shit?
1:13:51
Who's an actor in here? better
1:13:53
said who's an actor in here Nobody.
1:13:55
Good. Good. Nobody. Only I have an
1:13:57
early call time. Okay. So I played
1:13:59
a
1:13:59
bartender and it was all slutty.
1:14:02
It was really very hot. And
1:14:04
tonkers like, was kissing on my neck
1:14:06
and get through the whole scene. And I'm like, there's no way I'm bartender in this scene. So
1:14:08
when they gave me
1:14:11
a choice of jewelry, when
1:14:13
I was getting in wardrobe, there was like a name
1:14:15
necklace, which I'm in Jersey. I'm like, this bitch has a name
1:14:15
necklace. I
1:14:19
know that. said I'm like, I'm Cheryl now. And
1:14:21
he goes, he sees me in
1:14:23
the bartender scene, and he's like, so
1:14:25
Cheryl, listen. Come over here. And I'm
1:14:28
like, yeah. now I got
1:14:30
a name, fucker. because I'm still bartender. That's cool. In the credits. It's
1:14:32
bartender. Bartenders. So I
1:14:35
the funny is I said,
1:14:37
wait, the scene must have been in the beginning of the movie. So I look for a bar in the first five minutes of the movie, and it makes sense.
1:14:39
That's where should be. That's
1:14:42
where I find it. keep
1:14:45
going. You keep going. You keep going. Then all of
1:14:47
a sudden, it's like, Cheryl, there you are. You haven't
1:14:49
been there before. And I said that to them. I
1:14:51
said nobody knows who the hell I am or why
1:14:53
he knows me. But it actually feels like a
1:14:56
kind of tibbed in world. You're like, oh,
1:14:58
this is just Cheryl, I guess. We're Exactly.
1:15:01
And by the way, you know, Spielberg's
1:15:03
on this a time or two. Yeah. But he knows what he's doing. We're not gonna say, hey, look, is
1:15:05
his favorite movie? And in fact, listen to this.
1:15:08
Remember when video cameras
1:15:10
used to be like this big, and
1:15:12
you could no. because you're all thirty. Alright. Listen.
1:15:14
I remember. There used to be you didn't shoot on your phone. There were cameras
1:15:18
that you have to tote around. and my daughter, whose father is I'm
1:15:20
catholic, my ex
1:15:21
husband's Jewish, lovely gentleman. My
1:15:24
older two kids are
1:15:25
are Jewish, and my daughter was
1:15:27
getting her bot mitts So when they told me
1:15:29
bring one of your kids, she was having her birthday, and her Bob Mitzpa in, like, two weeks.
1:15:31
So I'm, like, Delia, you're coming with me.
1:15:33
So she
1:15:35
was my kid, and in real
1:15:37
life and in the scene, and I'm like,
1:15:39
I'm gonna produce the shit out of her bot Mitzpa video. We're opening it
1:15:41
with Tom Cruise. So I
1:15:43
had a purse
1:15:46
So I pull
1:15:48
a purse of my video camera out
1:15:50
of my purse and
1:15:51
I'm like, okay, Tom, sing have
1:15:53
you
1:15:53
birds in my daughter. And they, like, tried to,
1:15:55
like, get the camera from me, but he already loved me from
1:15:57
when we were making out. So he so
1:15:59
he's, like, nobody touched Lisa, she could
1:16:01
do whatever she wants. That's her camera,
1:16:04
she will. So they have all these
1:16:06
people around Tom Cruise when he's gonna run to the boat, and they're all
1:16:09
stunt people
1:16:11
to protect Tom. Well, when he goes over
1:16:14
the side of the boat, we lose that whole phalanx of stuntpeople and now it's
1:16:16
just me and three thousand
1:16:18
extras running down a dock to
1:16:22
the end with a boat and Daniel Fransese,
1:16:24
the comic.
1:16:25
Do you know him? Big guy
1:16:27
from Mean Girls. He's got
1:16:29
a gun I'm like, you really have to stop me
1:16:31
because it's
1:16:31
my actual daughter. I'm getting through you. If you
1:16:33
don't really stop me, he gun butts me in
1:16:35
the hip. I had to bruise this big
1:16:37
for a month and a half and then my daughter who's
1:16:40
getting jostled by all these real people
1:16:42
has got a bloody nose. I don't
1:16:44
know this. I hear from a
1:16:46
boat in the middle of the Hudson
1:16:48
River Spielberg going, great take Lisa.
1:16:50
Perfect. And Janesh Kaminsky is the DP. He goes flag.
1:16:53
And
1:16:54
everybody goes, he's
1:16:56
Polish.
1:16:56
flag. So flag on the play.
1:16:58
Here goes the little girl. And I looked down, my daughter's got blood running down her face
1:17:01
like this. And
1:17:04
Spielberg goes, you can
1:17:06
die in this movie, but you can't see a little kid bleed. And I went, Spielberg knows this.
1:17:09
because he works
1:17:12
with kids. but down the side of
1:17:14
the boat comes like repelling Tom Cruise, down the side of the boat. He lands in
1:17:16
front of me, grabs the camera out of
1:17:18
my purse, and goes, this is for the
1:17:20
lawsuit.
1:17:20
and
1:17:22
starts filming her. We got a that incredible.
1:17:24
We incredible. We have to leave it. That's amazing.
1:17:27
That's it. We have no more stories.
1:17:29
That's it. Lisa Ann Walter, go
1:17:31
watch Avid Elementary. Thank you so much. That was so much fun.
1:17:33
We come back,
1:17:36
Matt Rogers. Don't
1:17:37
go anywhere. Love it or leave it and there's more on the way. Love it or
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it. Good news, podcast, man. You can get America's number one late night
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great listen. Listen to the late show podcast with
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Steven Colbert seven days a week available
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wherever you get
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your podcast. Twitter might soon shuffle
1:20:36
off this mortal coil, finally
1:20:38
freeing us and me specifically, but
1:20:40
we will never forget you
1:20:43
coffee woman October this year of our Lord twenty twenty two, a
1:20:45
woman tweeted, my husband and I wake
1:20:47
up every morning and bring
1:20:50
our coffee out to our
1:20:52
garden and sit and talk for hours every morning.
1:20:54
It never gets old and we never run out of things to talk about. Love him
1:20:58
so much. and Twitter exploded like the time I dropped all my mentos
1:21:01
and my daily leader of diet coke.
1:21:03
It was a massacre. People
1:21:06
replied with rage, with accusations of classism, with screams
1:21:08
about their grass allergies and caffeine
1:21:10
sensitivities. And most of all, with
1:21:13
the fury that she not them had
1:21:15
the life they wanted. Coffee with
1:21:17
someone you like, how
1:21:20
dare you. See you
1:21:22
in hell, coffee lady. And by hell, we mean Twitter because you'll have to drag my phone out of my cold, uncavinated
1:21:24
hands. Before I get
1:21:27
off this Godforsaken platform, If
1:21:31
I was happy, I wouldn't be here and I'm here because I'm
1:21:33
not happy. One lesson from the coffee
1:21:35
lady, it is this. There is
1:21:37
no sin in the content
1:21:40
game worse. than being content.
1:21:42
That concludes our Twitter main character in memoriam. Amen.
1:21:46
Alright.
1:21:48
And now here to discuss the two biggest issues
1:21:50
affecting the queer community this week, the midterms and the Kate Blanchett cinematic
1:21:53
masterpiece star. It's
1:21:56
Matt Rogers. Hi,
1:21:57
Matt. John. Alright. Thank you for being here. Oh, thank you for
1:21:59
having me. Good
1:22:02
to have you, buddy.
1:22:04
everybody Here's
1:22:05
how big dink dink dink dink. Here here's how
1:22:07
works. we we started fighting? What
1:22:13
if we did? What if we did? Why
1:22:15
why ever be might be.
1:22:18
Here's how it works.
1:22:21
I'm gonna ask Matt questions about Tar a
1:22:23
film I have not seen. What? I'm sorry. How am I feeling twice? I saw it
1:22:25
one for me and one for
1:22:28
you. It's three hours.
1:22:30
Yeah. You clearly haven't seen TAR. Is it not three hours? It's three hours, but it's worth going
1:22:36
again. But I have to go once.
1:22:38
But if it starts at nine, it's it's over at twelve, honey. And then you think about it until
1:22:40
three PM the next
1:22:43
day, you don't sleep. Tara,
1:22:45
Lydia Tara lives rent free in your mind all night. You have to see Tara. I know I
1:22:47
have to see Tara. I'm gonna see Tara right
1:22:52
after this. Alright. First
1:22:52
question, the best scene of the movie is obviously
1:22:54
the one where Lydia confronts her daughter, Petruz
1:22:59
Bully in school. Could you please re help me reenact that
1:23:01
scene with me as the bully, but know that I haven't seen the film and only can bully
1:23:04
how I
1:23:06
was bullied? in SciOS at High School. Oh my god. I forgot that
1:23:08
you went to SciOS at High School. Gary, I'm I can
1:23:10
I search? I believe you a little? No.
1:23:13
You what you should do is you should just kinda
1:23:15
stay there. because here's what happens in the film starring Kate Blendshot as
1:23:17
Lydia Tarr. So basically, there's
1:23:19
a scene where Lydia Tarr
1:23:21
was played by Kate Bunchhot.
1:23:23
She finds out that
1:23:26
her daughter's being bullied at school. In fact, she's being kicked by the bully. So she says,
1:23:28
I'm gonna drop my girl off at
1:23:30
school tonight, and she's gonna say something to
1:23:35
the bully. So she drops the kid off she goes, where is the bully? So
1:23:37
the girl sends the bully over there. So
1:23:39
Kate Blanchett walks up and
1:23:41
in perfect German, which I
1:23:44
cannot do. the following
1:23:46
sort of happens. Hi, little girl. Yeah. You say just you just answered me with one word
1:23:48
because you're afraid of
1:23:50
me and I'm Kate Blanchett.
1:23:53
Hi, little girl. Hi. Yes. Hi. I hear that you're bullying my daughter. That's gonna stop. And
1:23:56
if it doesn't,
1:23:58
I'm gonna get you. And
1:24:02
if you think that I won't,
1:24:04
try.
1:24:05
Just try. Do one thing to
1:24:07
my daughter that I don't
1:24:09
like. I
1:24:09
will come get you. And guess what? If you tell anyone that
1:24:11
I said this to you, they will believe me and not you because
1:24:14
I'm an adult and you're a
1:24:16
child. Are
1:24:19
we clear? Yeah. We're clear. Correct.
1:24:21
So that's sort of
1:24:23
what, but imagine it
1:24:25
in German. And one
1:24:27
thing I forgot, One thing I
1:24:29
forgot. Kate
1:24:31
Blanchette says, I'm petra's father.
1:24:32
So
1:24:35
the way she introduced herself to the bully is I'm Petra's father and
1:24:37
I have a problem with you. So think
1:24:39
about that. You throw her
1:24:41
off her access in such
1:24:44
a way. She's like, wait,
1:24:46
the petra's father, and then she's so confused. She can barely catch up to the fact that she's being
1:24:51
physically threatened
1:24:53
by not just a woman, that's
1:24:55
fully grown, CapelandChat.
1:24:56
On
1:25:00
top, Hundred percent. Something no one on
1:25:02
this stage knows anything about. Let's just do to our
1:25:04
questions. What are We
1:25:07
won the midterms. Right? Alright.
1:25:10
That's the answer. We won. Alright. What are the similarities between Lydia Tarr's approach to her conducting the mauler
1:25:12
cycle
1:25:12
and your approach to putting together
1:25:15
have you heard of Christmas? Oh,
1:25:19
thank you for plugging in my special. Have you heard of Christmas? Watch
1:25:21
streams on Showtime, Friday, December second.
1:25:24
Showtime. So
1:25:27
Lydia Tarr is for everyone that doesn't
1:25:29
know played by Kate Blanchett. And she's what we call a
1:25:32
Maestro. She is
1:25:35
a musical genius. She is an Egot
1:25:37
winner. She is basically known as pretty much the closest thing
1:25:40
to moats
1:25:43
art that's been since most art. So
1:25:45
that's sort of her reality.
1:25:47
I am a comedian who
1:25:49
decided they wanted to release
1:25:52
a pop music Christmas album. And the way I
1:25:54
sort of
1:25:54
learned to sing was by just making fun of other
1:25:57
singers. So I
1:25:59
would just Scribe myself
1:26:02
as not a Maestro or a genius, but I would describe myself as available on Showtime December
1:26:08
second. Do you
1:26:10
think that first chair should always have dibs at the solo? Does holding auditions ruffle too many feathers?
1:26:13
I love drama.
1:26:16
I fucking am
1:26:18
a messy little bitch. And
1:26:20
I say hold auditions. First
1:26:23
chair, if they can really
1:26:25
bring it, like or in the
1:26:27
chair. Great. Like, bring your talent to
1:26:29
the ball. I feel like people
1:26:31
should always be ready
1:26:33
to audition. If you're afraid to audition, it means
1:26:35
you're hiding something. Mhmm. So first chairs, I think,
1:26:37
should have to throw their self in the ring.
1:26:40
And is there some kind of process for getting
1:26:42
on less culture easters. Next question. What is a missed opportunity? Wait. Can I tell
1:26:44
you something? We're actually I would actually love
1:26:46
for when Bowen is in person here and I
1:26:51
for you to come on law school degrees. I believe when I say it. For you to
1:26:53
air this out in front of everyone, I'm
1:26:55
not really linear to
1:26:57
our behavior. I It's very it's actually
1:27:00
giving top. You just tried
1:27:02
to podcast taught me on
1:27:04
stage. And guess what? I'm I'm
1:27:06
a power bottom. So I actually love it. And my response, this
1:27:09
and I'll just okay.
1:27:11
Power this Gentlemen
1:27:14
is very excited. Too excited. I want you to know. Two things. One, I could cut this and then no one believe
1:27:17
you that
1:27:20
this happened. And two Are
1:27:22
you trying to Lydia Tarr? You're trying to Lydia Tarr? it's not working because I'd like to be I know.
1:27:29
Was it for the listening audience? I was home I just gave a
1:27:31
knowing glance to the audience here at Dynasty type writer. Was it a missed
1:27:33
opportunity not to call the area where
1:27:35
the orchestra plays the
1:27:39
tar pits. I don't like
1:27:41
that pun. I don't like
1:27:43
that joke. I I think
1:27:45
first of all, if you
1:27:47
see Lydia you know that it's not
1:27:49
it's not no laughing matter. Okay? This film deals with adult
1:27:51
subject matter. It deals
1:27:54
with themes of abuse it's Yeah.
1:27:57
I used to make a joke about it.
1:27:59
It's just so bottom. And what is the accent doing over
1:28:00
the
1:28:02
a exactly? So basically
1:28:03
Okay. I don't exactly
1:28:05
know what it's doing. I guess
1:28:08
it's opening up
1:28:10
the a. But the thing is like, well, you're not saying Lydia
1:28:12
Tarrr. Right. Or Tarrr. Look, can
1:28:14
I tell you something about
1:28:17
the film? Please. It's heavily implied that
1:28:20
she's made up her name because she's so
1:28:22
this is a spoiler. Who here is Seentar?
1:28:26
This sucks. This
1:28:28
supposed to be a smart audience that's
1:28:30
plugged in. You haven't seen Tar
1:28:32
Not but once. You're all
1:28:34
living in LA, the city where Tarr is playing. Go see Tarr now.
1:28:41
Basically, it's revealed at the end that she's constructed
1:28:43
this identity to seem more serious, and we find out her
1:28:46
real name is Linda.
1:28:48
And
1:28:49
so, basically, it's thought that maybe who
1:28:51
is an anagram for art.
1:28:55
god. It's but the
1:28:58
movie is not like lame like
1:29:01
that. The character
1:29:04
is lame. shut up. Hey,
1:29:06
each and every one of you. Shut up. Hey, just shut the fuck up. And I'll tell
1:29:08
you one other thing. You should believe
1:29:10
more people here haven't seen Tarte. It's crazy.
1:29:14
As someone who hasn't seen Tara, I share your disappointment. I
1:29:16
can't believe you haven't seen it.
1:29:18
So I will tell you something. I
1:29:20
did make a plan with a friend to
1:29:23
literally see it on Tuesday. It's one of those
1:29:25
classic perfect flakes where both of
1:29:27
us just pretended we didn't
1:29:29
make like never texted. No one
1:29:31
canceled. No one canceled. Did it just didn't exist? Oh, no. We just Tuesday
1:29:33
night, we just lived our life. Can I ask you
1:29:35
a question? Can can I ask you
1:29:37
a question? Did it exist on
1:29:40
a Google calendar No. If it's on a calendar,
1:29:42
it's real. And you have to follow-up. I would agree. We and I should have added
1:29:44
it. The point is whether
1:29:46
or not you see tar that's
1:29:49
a personal decision. But most importantly, everyone should see, have
1:29:51
you heard of Christmas screaming December second on? ask all
1:29:53
the questions because I don't want
1:29:55
any questions passed. I
1:29:58
wanna talk more about Thor. Matt rogers comedy com to see if he's bringing a show
1:29:59
I'm going
1:30:04
on Thor. that's going on tour.
1:30:06
So I'm going on tour. I'll be in here in the city of Los Angeles on December
1:30:08
sixteenth and seventieth
1:30:11
the Fonda theater. So
1:30:13
you should all come. And if you're
1:30:16
in Atlanta listening on the podcast, please buy tickets. We're doing
1:30:18
badly in that city. Thank you, Matt. When we come
1:30:20
back, A
1:30:22
quick round of hot takes. Can I ask one question? Hey,
1:30:25
guys. So how excited should we feel?
1:30:27
That's the majority of the big
1:30:29
lie magic candidates endorsed by Trump
1:30:31
lost their elections Can I get
1:30:33
an a
1:30:34
man from audience? Pretty goddamn excited, Matt.
1:30:36
Thank you
1:30:37
for your question. Yo.
1:30:39
You see it once? You're
1:30:41
telling me we couldn't fit that into
1:30:43
the episode. You're crazy. No. He shows
1:30:45
up so late to the tapereds of
1:30:47
his own shows. every single time
1:30:49
I come and do this show. Every time I come and do this show,
1:30:51
he's just coming in
1:30:55
five minutes before. And then
1:30:57
we're gonna take pictures. Crooked coffee is all about making your life a
1:30:59
little less chaotic. So we just launched three limiting
1:31:02
machines or drink some coffee and get you
1:31:04
here holiday
1:31:07
boxes to make give giving easy. Each box
1:31:09
is filled with full size bags of
1:31:11
delicious medium in
1:31:14
circular coffee. plus a fun activity that isn't scrolling through Twitter.
1:31:16
Plus this holiday season, every order from Kirkland
1:31:18
Coffee supports Vote Save America's every last
1:31:20
vote fund, picked from three different boxes for three
1:31:23
types of people. extremely. You think you could do hot so you think you're famous
1:31:25
enough to book hot ones, honestly. Here's what
1:31:27
happened. I was going up,
1:31:29
but they went up much faster. Yeah. Right. And all of a sudden,
1:31:31
it was, like, they were booking podcast people, then all
1:31:33
of a sudden, it was, like, is that Zac alphanakos?
1:31:36
Yeah. No. You know what I mean? But
1:31:38
it's, like, fully viola dave. Yes. It's, like,
1:31:40
oh, forget it. Yeah. It's like, III
1:31:42
had a chance and all of a sudden was like, what is this bookings like you wait? Our bottom podcasters
1:31:46
not getting booked on Not happening. Not happening. Craft lovers box
1:31:49
with a learn to crochet kit inside of
1:31:51
the home baker box that
1:31:53
has
1:31:54
an apple cider donut kit. crooked dot com slash coffee.
1:31:56
Now it's time for hotcakes or they're gonna kick us
1:31:58
out of the theater. We have to do it. We
1:31:59
do one hot take
1:32:01
each. Oh my god. Everybody get
1:32:03
out here. Yes. Sorry. for
1:32:05
behind us. Please welcome back to the stage. Lisa and Walter, Paul Sheer, Amy Nicholson
1:32:07
and Matt Rogers. Now for
1:32:10
a segment, we caught
1:32:12
it. we
1:32:14
really flew through my sights. We're so
1:32:16
over. We each have thirty seconds
1:32:18
to defend and never before seen shit
1:32:20
opinion. As if we were deeply held conviction,
1:32:22
we each get one skip. But if skip. You
1:32:25
probably live with eternal regret. With what
1:32:27
you'll be forced to defend. Let's see the hotcakes.
1:32:28
the the heartache
1:32:30
I'm so upset. talk We talk I'm not really upset.
1:32:32
I I have a great time. I can think of
1:32:34
at least three takeaways from Elon's leadership style
1:32:36
of Twitter that I'd like
1:32:39
to implement at Crooked. Are you fucking
1:32:41
skipped? Give me another one. I can't defend that. Not possible.
1:32:43
Congress is getting a little too
1:32:46
gay for me. I don't want a bunch of Himba's love. He
1:32:48
has to do this. I'm gonna do
1:32:51
this one. Look, Congress is getting
1:32:53
a little too gay
1:32:55
for me. And Honestly, like, it
1:32:57
is hard enough to get a bunch of Democrats to do anything without dealing with intricate
1:33:00
tension and drama.
1:33:03
Matt and I, did
1:33:05
a seven minute segment in which we fought six
1:33:07
times. That's true. About six different
1:33:08
things. We could not agree
1:33:10
even on the nature of the
1:33:14
segment itself. Nancy Pelosi has
1:33:16
a hard enough job without
1:33:18
wrangling a homosexual. Yes. Thank
1:33:21
you. Great job.
1:33:21
Thank you. Let's see what's next. Alright, guys. That's a great one. Alright, great. Can I just say it
1:33:23
and go into it? Here's the deal
1:33:25
people. Gwen Paltrow and Katie
1:33:28
Perry really have
1:33:31
their finger on the pulse of the needs of every
1:33:33
day Angelinos. And I thank
1:33:36
them for using
1:33:38
their influence to advocate for every man,
1:33:40
Rick Russo. Here's the deal.
1:33:42
Rick is a good guy.
1:33:44
No. Rick is a good
1:33:47
guy because he, we all
1:33:47
love the grove. Right? The
1:33:49
grove is pretty
1:33:51
cool. Not hard there
1:33:54
twice. All I'm saying is picture
1:33:56
the fountains with the signature
1:33:58
music. We put that wherever
1:33:59
a homeless pamphlet
1:33:59
is. We replace
1:34:02
homeless people with fountains. And
1:34:05
how do we pay for the fountains?
1:34:07
We make the homeless people work for free. And here's the thing. Katie and
1:34:09
I and Gwyneth agree. Almost
1:34:11
people are scary. I
1:34:14
don't want my house to be broken
1:34:16
into. And this guy knows
1:34:18
he'll shoot them on-site. Oh
1:34:21
my god. nice. Way to go. That
1:34:23
was very dependent. Alright. Next up. Way to go, Paul. Amy, you're up. The
1:34:26
professional
1:34:26
amy europe film
1:34:27
critic is a
1:34:30
good argument against liberal arts degrees because,
1:34:32
honestly, if there's anything that I've really
1:34:34
learned from Twitter and I cannot wait
1:34:36
to learn more under Elon Musk's tenure,
1:34:38
is that everybody has a great opinion. And honestly,
1:34:40
I believe that everybody on Twitter is
1:34:42
like an actual scholar with a liberal
1:34:45
arts degree. They're very educated in the history
1:34:47
of cinema. So when people send me death not liking whoobie Halloween,
1:34:49
that was you. It was
1:34:52
pretty
1:34:52
good.
1:34:54
I respect that. You know? And I feel like you're showing me every day how
1:34:57
worthless my education is. And it really
1:34:59
it helps me
1:35:01
get centered and helps we have humility because if we know
1:35:03
anything about critics in every movie ever,
1:35:05
critics are snobby, they hate food, they
1:35:08
hate cinema, they're mean
1:35:10
and ratatouille, Critics are
1:35:11
awful, and thank you. Thank
1:35:13
you for putting me on my voice. All
1:35:15
done. Thank you, Amy. Beautifully
1:35:17
defended. Let's see what's next. I thought Michael and Ashley
1:35:19
Darby last
1:35:20
a lifetime. Matt take it away. I'm
1:35:22
curious to just see what the next one
1:35:25
is. So Let's see what's next. thought I would you
1:35:27
thought the gay guy would take the Oh. That's
1:35:30
here. Jenna's gonna prove
1:35:32
Lulich is getting too much white load
1:35:34
of screen time in the prosthetic penis
1:35:37
isn't getting nearly enough. I genuinely do feel that Jennifer
1:35:39
Coolidge is a little over excited about
1:35:41
her praise for
1:35:43
season one and almost feels like
1:35:45
she's pushing a little bit hard in the first episode of White Lotus Season two, which I'm calling
1:35:48
Italian hose. I
1:35:51
think the best part of white little season two is the Italian hose,
1:35:54
and I wanna see more of them. I do think
1:35:56
at the end of episode two, it got
1:35:58
a little interesting with Jennifer Coolidge because she
1:36:00
found out the husband is sort
1:36:02
of trifling. So now I'm excited. But I feel like with Jennifer Coolidge, I wanna see more of the Lair. She's a really talented
1:36:04
actress. I don't need to see the
1:36:06
big set piece comedically. I wanna see the
1:36:10
interior. I wanna explore Tanya McQuad.
1:36:12
So that's how I feel. Alright. Alright.
1:36:14
Thank you. Matt found the truth in
1:36:17
it. Oh, I've been the penis.
1:36:19
and and more penis. Alright. Let's
1:36:21
see. But real penis. Yeah.
1:36:23
For sure. Jesus,
1:36:26
Christ, The only thing easier than being a mother is being a teacher.
1:36:29
Do you wanna do that one or a different one?
1:36:31
Let's just see what the next
1:36:34
one is. Y'all
1:36:35
gotta get over the
1:36:37
parent trap. Lisa, I'd
1:36:40
take it away.
1:36:42
Hey. Listen,
1:36:42
y'all really gotta get over the parent trap. I
1:36:44
mean, first of all, when is it
1:36:47
ever? I know that we have
1:36:49
an entire generation of young people that didn't
1:36:51
feel like their own family loved them. And parents were
1:36:53
all fighting each other. You had a
1:36:55
dream that maybe if
1:36:57
you just finagled and lied enough, you
1:36:59
get them to stop by and get back together. There are some queer
1:37:01
kids out there that really needed
1:37:03
to have somebody like Jesse so that they
1:37:05
could feel accepted and loved. Do you guys
1:37:08
get to still watch
1:37:10
the movie. But everybody else who dreams that you are gonna one day get
1:37:12
a guy who
1:37:15
owns a vineyard looks like
1:37:18
Dennis Quade nineteen ninety six. Not Dennis Quade now. You're
1:37:20
gonna get I
1:37:22
love them, but whoa.
1:37:25
If all of you who are dreaming that that's gonna be your life and that you're gonna grow
1:37:28
up
1:37:28
and you're
1:37:31
gonna find your twin and
1:37:33
you're gonna have a magical life.
1:37:35
Just look
1:37:36
at what Lindsay Loanne had to go through.
1:37:38
You don't want, look, she's doing good now.
1:37:42
but there's a lot of drama, a lot of sadness,
1:37:44
a lot of tragedy around the
1:37:46
parent trap you guys move on.
1:37:48
Just move on. Wow.
1:37:50
a fitting note. But if you were a queer kid and
1:37:52
you grew up loving it, you still get to
1:37:54
love it. Oh, yeah. And that's how it takes.
1:37:56
When we come back, we'll end on a high note.
1:37:58
And we're back.
1:38:00
Now
1:38:01
it's time for
1:38:03
this week's high
1:38:05
notes. Hey,
1:38:06
love. This is Jen from Baltimore, Maryland. And
1:38:08
my final note is that I'm a volunteer
1:38:10
phone bank leader for the Pennsylvania Democrats.
1:38:12
And our volunteer is made over one point
1:38:15
five million calls in the last four days
1:38:17
of the campaign. I'm incredibly proud of the
1:38:19
work we did to get them across,
1:38:21
like governor, U. S. Senate and all
1:38:23
the other statewide and local races. Also, one
1:38:26
of our volunteers thanks me for using Inclusive
1:38:28
Language to talk about
1:38:30
how abortion is an issue that pregnant people should be able to decide for themselves. And I felt about
1:38:33
that. We
1:38:36
are the party of kindness
1:38:38
and inclusivity and I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about the next few years. Love
1:38:41
the show. Thanks
1:38:44
for everything. Hi,
1:38:45
love it. This is Emily from Chicago. My high note is that I
1:38:47
have had
1:38:47
an extra six days in county with my dog of seven years after
1:38:49
I found out she has little tumor
1:38:51
on her heart. We've
1:38:54
been able to do one special thing every day, and I'm
1:38:56
so
1:38:56
grateful to save her all this
1:38:58
extra time with her. A good reminder
1:39:00
to share your time spent with the people and
1:39:02
pets in your life. So now I'm off to listen to your podcast and take
1:39:04
her on a long WA. Okay? Thanks
1:39:06
for
1:39:07
all you do. Bye. Hi, Lovett. This
1:39:09
is Missy from Omaha, Nebraska, and
1:39:11
my
1:39:11
high note, this week, it
1:39:13
did occur on election night last night, but despite some wins and losses here in Omaha, it wasn't
1:39:16
related to
1:39:18
the results
1:39:20
themselves. My ten
1:39:21
year old daughter and I have been volunteering with some of her
1:39:23
friends and their parents for women who run, which
1:39:26
is an organization based focused
1:39:29
on getting more women elected in Nebraska. We've been going every
1:39:31
Wednesday for the last couple of months leading up to the
1:39:33
election, and our kids have
1:39:34
been putting together with bags, you
1:39:39
know, stamping postcards, even doing some phone banking
1:39:41
and canvassing in the last few weeks.
1:39:43
So we got invited to
1:39:45
the big Democratic watch party downtown and
1:39:47
women who run had a VIP room that
1:39:49
was decorated with posters that all of our
1:39:52
kids had made for
1:39:54
each candidate. They got these special VIP
1:39:56
badges and they were walking around like they
1:39:58
own the place. It was just so
1:39:59
awesome to see their excitement
1:40:01
to meet the candidates
1:40:03
and just have
1:40:04
all this confidence as they were talking
1:40:06
to all of these adults. I've been dragging my daughter with me for years to
1:40:08
different events --
1:40:11
political events and canvassing. a
1:40:13
woman who run made it fun and cool to be an activist, and I'm so grateful
1:40:15
for that. So while we didn't win all of the
1:40:18
races I'd hoped for, I've
1:40:21
seen the future in these girls,
1:40:23
and I know it's bright. Thanks for all you do. Hello.
1:40:24
My name is
1:40:26
Betsy. My high notes are
1:40:30
First, finishing chemo for stage free
1:40:32
cancer and hopefully being cancer free
1:40:34
forever. My next high note is being
1:40:36
an election worker on Tuesday and having
1:40:39
none other than our favorite podcaster John Lovett coming
1:40:41
to our bestseller
1:40:42
to vote. And my last high
1:40:43
note is returning back to seeing
1:40:45
Lovett or Leave it live. Thank you so much, John, for
1:40:47
making that happen. And now I have something to
1:40:50
look forward to again on Thursday night after
1:40:53
some really shitty and
1:40:54
dark time. Thanks to everybody
1:40:56
who sent in a high note tonight. If you wanna leave us
1:40:58
a message about something that gave you hope call us at
1:41:00
3235382377
1:41:03
That is our show. Thank you so much, and Lisa and Walter Paul Shear, Matt Rogers, Amy
1:41:05
Nagelson, and and
1:41:08
Helen Peterson.
1:41:09
There are twenty four
1:41:11
days until the Georgia run up. Fuck. Have a great weekend.
1:41:18
Love it
1:41:20
or leave
1:41:22
it
1:41:23
as a crooked
1:41:26
media production. It is written and produced by me. John Lee
1:41:28
Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Brian
1:41:30
Semmel is our producer, and Malcolm Whitfield is
1:41:32
our associate producer. Howley Keefer is
1:41:34
our head writer, Sarah Lasros, John
1:41:37
on Kaufman, Polyvignon and Peter Miller are the writers. Bill Lance is our editor and
1:41:39
Kyle Seguin and Steven Cologne are our audio engineers. Our theme
1:41:41
song is written and performed by
1:41:44
Sure Sure. Thanks
1:41:46
to our designers, Jesse McLean and Caroline Haywood, for creating
1:41:48
and running all of our visuals, which you can't
1:41:50
see because this is a podcast, and
1:41:53
to our digital producers, Normalconian, Zuri Urban, and
1:41:55
Milo Kim, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGrouot filming and editing video each week
1:41:57
so you can. You can find those glorious
1:41:59
videos at youtube dot
1:42:01
com slash c slash
1:42:04
crooked media.
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