0:00

This weeks. Life note, the things we'd go back in time and tell our 30 year old self.

0:12

Welcome to Life Notes from Chair 17,

0:15

a podcast dedicated to sharing life stories,

0:18

wisdoms and inspirations as we navigate life's journey,

0:21

post chas to share thoughtful perspectives and insights from her own life journey.

0:27

As well as those of special guests, contributors tune in for thoughtful conversations about lessons learned wisdoms,

0:34

gained experiences, had and inspirations shared.

0:39

Find us where you get your podcasts and be sure to hit follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode.

0:46

Now, enjoy this week's episode.

0:53

All righty. Welcome back in friends to another episode of Life Notes from Chair 17.

0:58

I'm your host, Ch and I thank you once again for finding me in this corner of the podcast universe.

1:06

As always, I like to thank our returning C 17 for your continued support and tuning in each week.

1:14

And that does include our international listeners.

1:18

Thank you for your support. But if you happen to be tuning in for the first time,

1:22

maybe you've just found us on one of the major podcast platforms or via our website out on life notes from Show 17 podcast.com.

1:34

A warm welcome in to you.

1:37

Thank you for wanting to check us out.

1:39

Hope you like what you hear and you will want to stick around and as the teaser might have suggested,

1:49

and obviously the episode number,

1:51

we have reached episode 30 which has given me a pause to think about,

2:01

well, not calling this a milestone episode,

2:03

although it is because I'm pretty sure everyone's tired of hearing me call every episode,

2:08

a milestone episode. It's not,

2:11

but it has made me sort of think about when I turned 30 and you sort of still feel young,

2:22

but you're moving into maybe let's call it a next phase of adulthood.

2:28

At least that's kind of how it felt for me.

2:31

And I don't know, I think maybe that's happening here on the podcast.

2:35

We're sort of moving out of young and starting and now into a groove and we've got 30 episodes under our belt.

2:43

So it felt as if it could be an interesting or fun heartfelt episode to do to reflect back on what I might share with my 30 year old self if I could go back and talk to her.

2:57

Now, if you are listening and you haven't reached 30 as yet,

3:02

that's fine. It's ok.

3:04

It is nothing to worry about. This is not meant to make anyone stress about turning 30.

3:10

Hopefully you'll listen to this and maybe it will be comical or amusing if you aren't too far past 30.

3:19

Maybe it might really resonate with you.

3:22

It'll be something that you can carry with you.

3:26

I really, it's more just to share as it always is on this podcast of some of the things that I've thought about now and I think back on then,

3:39

and I'm pretty sure I could have benefited from what I know now then.

3:44

So we have made it another top 10 episode.

3:49

And so these are going to be at least as of the recording date.

3:55

Uh, these would be the top 10 things.

3:58

I would go back and tell my 30 year old self number one fire.

4:06

And I don't mean as if that is fire and flame,

4:11

I mean, financial independence retire early,

4:15

which is known as fire. Sadly,

4:19

for me when I was 30 or thereabouts,

4:24

no one was talking about this back then or if they were,

4:28

it was certainly not in the pop culture,

4:30

vernacular, uh, like it is today and I'm,

4:34

I'm not that ancient, but I can tell you,

4:37

I didn't hear about it and my dad was a fireman.

4:41

So, or firefighter,

4:43

I should say so, fire had nothing to do with finances or retirement.

4:50

So had I had that back then?

4:57

Or somebody had told me about that back then?

4:59

I think it would have really helped me. I really do wish I had paid way more attention to getting my act together on planning financially whatever that means.

5:13

To you. That's ok.

5:15

And if you're doing that and you're a young person listening to this,

5:18

you're like I got that on lockdown Bravo.

5:22

Awesome. Your older self will thank you a million times over.

5:28

I sadly was not one of those people and I do wish I had paid more attention to putting together a portfolio maximizing 401k s figuring out how to make space for myself in retirement earlier than what is traditional here in the United States.

5:47

And I should probably clarify what I'm talking about here in some of these top tens are only going to be really what's going on here for the U SI can't necessarily speak to how some of these things might be in other countries.

6:00

So I definitely would have liked to have gotten far more ahead of it than I am or than I was back then so that I could think about enjoying retirement as a younger retiree versus an older one.

6:15

Now, that is my personal preference.

6:17

Not everybody wants to do that. We do hear plenty of stories these days of early retirees coming out of retirement for various reasons.

6:28

Sometimes people really do love working and they want to be in the workforce and that is absolutely fine.

6:35

But for me, as I watch,

6:37

some of some folks that have been able to really position themselves well to retire earlier than later,

6:45

I would definitely go back and tell my 30 year old ch self to figure out potentially maybe to retire by the fifties instead of the traditional well into the sixties kind of thing.

6:59

Absolutely would have done that in a heartbeat. Wish I could do it.

7:04

Go back and tell myself to do it.

7:07

Number two, start a side hustle.

7:12

Now this is tied to fire and arguably could be part of fire,

7:17

but again, not part of the pop culture vernacular.

7:21

Back when I was 30 I know that there are particulars out there right now where sometimes it gets sticky when you are working for a company because there are what are called outside business activities that might restrict you from having that or you have to get it approved.

7:41

Those are things that you would need to investigate and make sure that you're not violating any kind of legal obligation or legal contract that you have with your employer.

7:54

But let's say all of those things work out and let's say you get it approved.

7:58

I you can have an outside business activity.

8:01

It is something that allows you not to be dependent on a single source of income.

8:07

Should that single source of income suddenly change for you?

8:11

Like being laid off. And so I think of it as almost like an insurance policy and if you happen to be doing something,

8:21

depending on what it is, it could also be maybe a life balance thing.

8:25

It can focus your energies on something other than your day job.

8:29

The day job still remains important. It still remains a priority but it also in having potentially a side income or something else that can supplement that regular day job.

8:42

It, it's just a different mindset and it's a different thing that fills up your cup,

8:48

as they say, I do sincerely admire folks out there who have done this and who have set themselves up with this.

8:56

It's something I think I would have loved to have known more about or thought more about as a younger person.

9:03

And again, it's not meant to be in competition with potentially,

9:08

let's say a company that you're working for.

9:10

I have seen that where folks didn't declare their side income or their side business,

9:20

they didn't go through the proper channels and they paid the price for that.

9:25

So if you are still somebody who wants to have that regular day job,

9:32

but also have an outlet for something else,

9:35

maybe it's an Etsy shop, maybe it's a car wash.

9:39

I don't know, whatever it could be. Definitely do it on the up and up because in the end it'll help you be more financially stable.

9:50

Should the primary source of income change unexpectedly.

9:58

Number three, mental health does matter and self care is important.

10:06

We hear about this a lot now, but I can guarantee you no one was talking about it like we are now when I was 30 if they were,

10:18

it was far more,

10:21

let's call it in a clinical environment than in sort of a,

10:26

just a, a regular dialogue.

10:29

Again, pop culture discussion.

10:32

It was not in the workplace, it was not something that was brought up regularly as being an important part of remaining healthy.

10:42

And so I would go back to my 30 year old self and say these things are important,

10:47

healthy, mental habits are important and acknowledging when we aren't our best and giving space and grace in those moments when we aren't our best is something we need to do.

11:00

And I would double down on it and,

11:02

and really train my 30 year old self to think it is not an exception,

11:08

but it is rather and should be considered a rule.

11:13

And I'm pretty sure I would start,

11:16

would have started mindfulness practices or self care practices back then like I do now and again,

11:23

if you're younger and you're listening to this and you're already doing those things,

11:27

those are all going to benefit you as the years tick on.

11:31

And so bravo to you, you should give yourself a pat on the back for that number four.

11:39

Your blood work does not lie,

11:42

stay active now as some of you know,

11:49

and some of you might be going through this at the time.

11:51

You're listening to this, the older that you get,

11:54

the more those regular physicals and checkups at the doctor become important when you're younger,

12:02

you can oftentimes blow them off.

12:04

You don't take them seriously.

12:06

You're not in any kind of age group where they start talking about,

12:10

ok. By this age you got to start going in for this checkup or by this age you got to start doing this checkup.

12:17

No younger,

12:19

you kind of get a free pass, the older you get those passes expire and here in the US,

12:26

if you are lucky enough to have good insurance,

12:30

we can do them, we can go in and get those checkups regularly and are more inclined to do it regularly when insurance is involved because we don't have universal health care in the US.

12:46

So oftentimes our, our health care and our health insurance is tied to a job.

12:52

Now, there are some exceptions to that.

12:54

If you're unemployed, that can be a problem if the company doesn't cover or offer uh sort of continuing coverage,

13:05

that can be a problem. We do have our health care marketplace now,

13:09

but even still sometimes, maybe that is cost prohibitive.

13:13

Maybe even if you have a regular paying job,

13:16

you don't get medical insurance and it's so cost prohibitive.

13:20

There are a lot of factors,

13:23

let's say, and everybody's experience is different about what kind of health insurance they have,

13:30

what they can afford. But I will say there's probably a universal thought that if you do have insurance,

13:36

you're more likely to be able to go in for your checkups.

13:40

And if you don't, that's probably going to be a moment where you might put it off.

13:45

I've done that myself when I have not had insurance,

13:48

I've gone through those stretches of time and I've absolutely put off things.

13:52

This was when I was younger and I'm less inclined to try to do that when I'm older because the risk gets higher and I do think it's harder to put that stuff off.

14:05

So all this to say one thing that has helped me is I was and have always been an active person.

14:14

This was true when I was 30. It's true today and I do feel in an unscientific,

14:21

unm medically supported opinion.

14:24

This has helped buy some time for me in those stretches of time when I've not been able to go in and get checked out.

14:31

I liken it to being go outside and play or come home when the streetlights are on kid.

14:38

My mom always used to make me do that.

14:40

She also always used to make me play sports and I've carried that and that activity always with me and it has helped me when I've gone in for some physicals,

14:54

especially after a gap of time when I maybe had let those years slide.

15:00

Uh It's kept me at a low risk for stuff.

15:03

I won't go into all of that. But the point is it can be hard to do this,

15:10

but it's important to have things.

15:12

And when I say hard to do this, if not getting medical checkups is a thing.

15:17

There are some things that you can do that can maybe buy some time and help you out along the way until you can,

15:25

again, not a medical doctor,

15:28

not providing medical advice. Just talking about an experience that I've had something that I've done in my life that has really paid off.

15:37

And I would tell still today that 30 year old self keep being active.

15:44

I do think that younger generations already know the value of staying in shape and being healthy.

15:50

I mean, there's gyms on every corner and it feels like in the bottom of every apartment building that if you're driving along the street,

16:00

you can see everybody working out, especially if you live in a city.

16:04

So I don't feel like this is a huge stretch.

16:07

It's more of a reminder that this is important and it does pay off for us as we get older.

16:17

Number five Maya Angelou was right.

16:21

People will forget what you said.

16:25

People will forget what you did,

16:28

but people will never forget how you made them feel.

16:34

And really that is number five, I would just reiterate this to my 30 year old self.

16:40

People will never forget how you make them feel.

16:46

So be mindful of how you treat everyone and treat them as you wish to be treated.

16:57

Number six time is definitely gonna move quicker.

17:01

Now, I feel like it was around the age of 30 that I started to notice a shift in the sense of time how suddenly two months passed and then it felt only like yesterday,

17:19

this has only gotten worse again as the years keep ticking by.

17:24

So present day now, it feels as if six months has passed and it feels like it was just yesterday.

17:29

So while it is cliche and this likely applies,

17:33

no matter the age, stop adding things to the bucket list,

17:37

just go make them happen before there is not enough time or time seems to have escaped to make them happen.

17:50

Number seven, take it easy on the old joints.

17:55

Seriously. You might not think 30 is old but your joints.

18:00

Yeah, they're moving and they are aging. Even at 30 we only get two knees,

18:06

two hips, the longer we can keep the original pieces,

18:09

the better they will be. I know it is tempting to still think we can go and do all of the things that we were doing when we were 1617,

18:21

1821 22.

18:23

But man, something about the 30 year old number mentally,

18:28

we still feel like we're invincible, but the body might say otherwise and the wear and tear does catch up.

18:35

And for me personally, I have found this particularly true in joints.

18:39

So all of those slides into second base when I was playing softball,

18:43

I definitely feel that now. So it might have been a good idea if I had just been a smidge easier on some of those old joints starting in and around the age of 30.

18:56

So I would remind my 30 year old self to do just that number eight four,

19:03

go social media. Now,

19:06

this might be an unpopular opinion and it is just my opinion.

19:10

Only it is not meant to insult or criticize anyone who is and does appreciate social media.

19:21

But for me, I don't think I would have ever touched it and I think I would tell my 30 year old self,

19:30

don't I have friends who never joined socials.

19:36

Jodie Whittaker never did it either as a public figure and I admire them now because I don't like where social media has gone.

19:48

I don't like how some of the influencers that are doing good in the in the space are subjected to just some of the most horrific attacks on them personally.

20:03

It's just, I'm old enough to remember what were called message boards back in the day.

20:09

It's like the precursor to, I don't even know what social we want to compare it to.

20:14

And we used to call them flame wars where people would just go on the message board and just tear into people for no reason.

20:23

And back then I came up with this thing that said anybody can be anything behind a user name and we get this illusion of who they are or maybe we don't even know who they are and yet they have this power to kind of spew really unhealthy negative things.

20:43

And in today's world, even for influencers that are doing good,

20:48

they're subjected to it to a degree that is just mind numbing.

20:52

And I will say I was a hold out to social media for a really long time because I didn't like message boards and I didn't like what I saw there.

21:01

And the only reason I joined was when I moved up here to Seattle because I thought,

21:07

well, maybe this is an easier way for people to kind of see what's happening,

21:11

almost like a scrapbook kind of a thing.

21:13

But I don't know that I would do that again.

21:16

And I might tell my 30 year old self, you know, what focus on the connections that you have in the,

21:22

in the sphere and the circle and the people that, you know,

21:25

and don't get swept into the illusion of social media because I think we've often seen now,

21:32

sometimes it's not real. Anybody can post anything on there that makes it seem as if their life is wonderful and perfect and they could be going through the most horrendous thing.

21:41

And I just feel it's given us a real distorted view and also changed how we interact with ourselves and other people.

21:50

And again, this is not a criticism because I have friends who are influencers.

21:55

I, they've mastered it. They're doing wonderful things with their platform.

21:59

I admire that tremendously and I admire their fortitude to put up with all of what is this dark,

22:08

let's call it the dark corner. And I will confess,

22:12

I'm a nerd researcher. So I do love to be able to just easily find people look up things connect.

22:21

So I benefit from it. I'm not going to lie,

22:25

but I do feel today and the shift today there's,

22:28

it's not what it was. And I don't know that I love what I've seen it become and I don't appreciate the negatives and how it has empowered the unscrupulousness of people to just really not be the best of what I think we can be as humans.

22:49

So I personally would make the decision not to have a social media account.

22:54

Again, that's me only.

22:57

And even today, I've cut way back on who I follow and why.

23:00

And I do feel it's made a difference, but that's for me.

23:04

Number nine travel now,

23:08

which is really the runner up to time moves quick,

23:10

right? I would tell my 30 year old self stop waiting,

23:13

stop procrastinating. It's not always going to be there just go now and again,

23:19

if the COVID-19 pandemic has taught us anything right?

23:22

Things can suddenly shift and change overnight.

23:26

Places suddenly cannot be accessed.

23:28

We can't go someplace the thing you wanted to really do on the bucket list may not be there just go now.

23:37

And the other thing too that older folks have told me is it sometimes is actually easier to travel when you're younger,

23:44

then when you're older and to try to get that travel,

23:48

the big travels, right. The big complex going lots of places,

23:53

lots of countries kind of travel out of the way as you're younger.

23:58

It can sometimes just be a little more challenging when you're older.

24:01

Again. There are plenty of older folks out there that are absolute travel masters and so no disrespect meant,

24:10

but I've had enough people tell me now.

24:12

Yeah, you should, you should travel younger.

24:15

Not, not at the age we're at right now. OK.

24:17

Noted and would go back and tell my 30 year old self to do just that.

24:22

And number 10 be unequivocally you,

24:27

I admit I didn't do this back then and I don't know that I was given the encourage or the confidence to do this.

24:36

And I really wish I had been that true self or had that true self conversation within me.

24:46

But also then how I showed up because it would have benefited me.

24:52

I think in a lot more ways than having to play catch up in my older age about who I am what I stand for,

24:59

what I really believe in. And I'm actually glad this is a far more common thing now than it has been or was when I was 30.

25:07

We have a lot more people today showing up as who they truly are.

25:12

And if I could go back in time,

25:15

I would tell my 30 year old self to do just that it would have spared me,

25:19

I'd say some,

25:21

some more challenging times and it would have made me appreciate.

25:27

I think some of the things in myself that I don't know that I was kind enough to myself back then to really appreciate and that all comes from sort of shining that truest light of yourself and being unequivocally you.

25:42

So there you have at the top 10 list of things.

25:46

I would go back if I could jump in the DeLorean and tell my 30 year old self.

25:51

That is a back to the future reference, movie reference for anyone who doesn't know that with age comes wisdom and confidence and that is priceless for everything else.

26:07

There's Mastercard. I'm kidding. That is an old,

26:10

old advertising commercial for a credit card.

26:15

But it was a good one. And with that on that funny note,

26:19

as always ask you to be kind to yourself.

26:22

Take it one hour at a time, one day at a time and I'll see you next time.

26:32

Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Life Notes from chair 17.

26:36

Remember to follow and subscribe. So you never miss an episode.

26:40

We'll see you next time.