0:00

What you're about to hear are

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archival audio recordings of Seth Meyers'

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corrections. To watch all new

0:07

episodes of Corrections, subscribe to the Late

0:09

Night YouTube channel. In

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the year 2021, Late Night

0:17

Talk Show host Seth Meyers unleashed the

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full fury of the internet with the

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utterance of a single word. Legos.

0:25

Legos. Legos are the stories of one

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man's descent into the bowels of the

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internet and is courage to take on

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the most dangerous people on earth, YouTube

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commenters. Recorded every Thursday

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after the audience has left Studio

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8G and witnessed only by scattered

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members of the late night staff

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and crew, this is

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Corrections, the podcast. I

0:53

did not go outside to see the eclipse. If

1:03

you, like me, live in fear

1:05

of the moon, thanks to Mac

1:08

Tonight, you're

1:10

not that interested in

1:12

the day it blocks out the sun. I.e.

1:17

its plan comes to

1:19

fruition. Hey,

1:21

Seth, you want to go outside and see

1:24

the moon win? Gotta

1:27

wear special glasses or you'll go blind. No,

1:29

thank you. David,

1:35

David, excuse me, David Eigenberg played Steve

1:37

on Sex and the City. He

1:40

was also in the Dick

1:42

Wolf show Chicago Fire. Interesting

1:46

showbiz story. He

1:49

was originally cast as a police

1:51

officer on Chicago

1:53

PD, but he made a

1:56

terrible cop because everyone

1:58

he arrested... was set

2:02

free because

2:04

he refused to read them their

2:07

Miranda rights. I

2:12

just can't do it, Chief. Was

2:27

that releasing the nitrous? We

2:31

made a joke implying the comic

2:33

book that contained the first appearance of Aquaman

2:35

would not be valuable. I

2:37

was told Aquaman's first appearance was in More Fun

2:39

Comics, number 73, and in mint condition

2:44

it could sell at upwards

2:46

$185,000. And

2:49

if you sold it for that much, I'd get

2:51

out there and brag about it. And if you

2:53

bought it for that much, shh. We

3:00

are going to try to pick our Emmy

3:02

submission episode. We kind of have a

3:04

consensus on the top four. So go

3:06

to Sea Captain Polls. We're going to do 96

3:08

versus 89, and 94 versus 82 based on the

3:10

winners of that. We'll

3:16

then have a final, and then after

3:18

you pick a winner, I'll still wait

3:20

two more weeks before I tell

3:22

Shoemaker my decision. I

3:29

said, undieve salad. Told

3:32

it was endive. For the record, I thought

3:34

it was endive too, but when I said that in front

3:36

of Bay's, he slapped the salad fork out of my hand.

3:43

We referred to the increase in Donald Trump's

3:45

wealth thanks to his truth social stock as

3:47

paper money. That was incorrect. We should have

3:49

said paper wealth. Paper wealth is money that's

3:51

not actually real, whereas paper money is of

3:53

course real money. Though

3:55

I wouldn't recommend trying to pay a New

3:57

York cabby with it. Certainly

4:01

changed their tune since 2007. 2007,

4:04

you tried to give him a credit card. It was like, ugh. Now

4:07

you try to give him cold, hard cash. Same thing. Make

4:10

up your minds, guys. I

4:14

imply Jean Valjean had been imprisoned 19

4:17

years for stealing a loaf of bread. He was sentenced to five years

4:19

for the bread and then three

4:21

extra years for each of his successive four

4:24

escape attempts. Apologies

4:27

to the French legal system for making it

4:29

seem like they give you 19 years for bread theft.

4:31

Five is okay. I

4:34

think five is fair. You may get any less than five people or

4:36

just you're inviting him to steal your bread. You

4:40

could also send them something that feels like less

4:42

than five years. You know, if like

4:44

your prison system is overwhelmed, you don't have room for

4:47

somebody. Like making them

4:49

sit through Les Mis. Who

4:56

am I? How do you not know? I

4:59

know. YouTube

5:04

captions our videos. We

5:06

don't caption them. YouTube captions them. I appreciate it.

5:08

It really means a lot to me that they

5:10

go out of their way to make it easier

5:12

for everyone to enjoy. With that said, could we

5:14

not do this ever again? I'm

5:17

sorry. I'm sorry. Someone

5:31

wrote, is your crew forced to come to corrections? They

5:35

then asked, are they forced to drink? They

5:38

are not forced to come. But

5:40

if they come, they're forced to drink. I

5:44

made the sound of someone driving a tractor. I

5:47

was told that's not the sound a tractor makes. Bunch

5:51

of you posited that I've never been on a tractor.

6:01

What? You

6:04

think I would trust someone else to get my wheat? I

6:13

did a George W. Bush impression, and

6:17

then afterwards I said I had a C- Bush. You

6:22

should all be ashamed of yourselves. The

6:27

amount of people that thought I was referring to my

6:29

pubic hair. And

6:32

by the way, the fact that I just done a Bush

6:34

impression and nobody connected saying I had a

6:36

C- Bush to that means it's an F-

6:38

Bush. C-

6:42

Bush. I

6:44

mean, in your heads, what does a C- Bush even

6:46

look like? I

6:49

mean, is it something like this? You

6:51

monsters! I

7:08

mean, I was never going to go down to graphics with that request.

7:13

Give me a few options for C- Bush. That'd

7:15

be their dream. I

7:18

mean, they emailed them to me by the time I got

7:20

back to my desk. How's this? And

7:22

they didn't look like graphics. It looked like hastily

7:25

taken photos. Want

7:30

to guess which one of us made this

7:32

one? Someone

7:38

wrote, it's pronounced Porsha de Rossi,

7:41

not Porsha de Ross. Sounds

7:45

like you missed the jokey. A

7:53

lot of weird stuff's been happening since

7:56

the eclipse. Sure,

8:01

you're all like, it's not connected, whatever. Hey,

8:06

we've been making a lot of

8:08

jokes about

8:10

Boeing doors. You

8:12

know, we've been making a lot of jokes about Boeing because those doors are flying off.

8:15

And then I said Boeing plane, and then

8:17

one of you said you don't have to say Boeing plane because

8:19

they only make planes. And then a bunch of you said, actually,

8:21

you should say Boeing plane because Boeing makes a lot of other

8:23

stuff. And then I made the

8:25

joke that they

8:29

also made Lord of the Rings films

8:31

because those are so Boeing. And

8:33

then leadermen yelled Jesus because I guess

8:36

that joke was so bad Pete converted.

8:47

With that said, the reason I went through it again is that

8:49

was all set up to one of my favorite Jackal

8:51

jokes ever submitted. Boeing can't

8:53

make Lord of the Rings because they don't have

8:56

more door. Not

9:00

a bad correction joke. Went

9:06

back last week

9:08

in Seth's version to the old how to

9:10

pronounce Babar. Babar?

9:15

The problem is everybody said there's no real right way, right?

9:17

Because it's regional. Like you can say

9:19

Babar, you can say Babar, and Boston say Baba.

9:23

And in Chicago they say Babar.

9:34

We talked about a cliffhanger and this

9:36

was the cliff we used. I

9:38

was told is not a cliff at all. It's

9:41

Maccafee's knob. And

9:43

that's an actual photo of it. Maccafee's

9:45

knob is on the Appalachian Trail. It's

9:47

one of the most popular places to

9:49

stop on the Appalachian Trail. And

9:53

you look right over there. You

9:56

could say this is a knob with a C- Bush. Also,

10:07

Maxby's now the only rock formation

10:09

in America that can protect your

10:12

computer from viruses. I

10:32

want to do a new tag for the end of a closer look. Hey,

10:36

everyone, if you enjoyed a closer look, that's enough for

10:39

me. I

10:41

don't need you to do anything else. I

10:43

made it. You watched it. I

10:46

don't need you to like, subscribe,

10:48

do anything else, but

10:50

live your life. Whatever

10:52

it is you've been dreaming of doing now is when I want

10:54

you to do it. I'm

10:57

going to stick around because I got nowhere

10:59

else to be. Go.

11:05

Go do whatever it is you've always, I mean, don't

11:07

just watch like Kimmel videos. Go

11:21

to a Knicks game. Bring

11:24

my son Ash to his first, excuse me,

11:26

Rangers game. Bring my son Ash to his

11:28

first organized sporting event, right? And

11:33

they ask, they say, hey, can we cut to you during the

11:35

game? I'm like, yeah, sure, that'd be

11:37

great, right? So before they cut

11:39

to you, they show a clip from

11:41

the show. And

11:44

you know what they showed? They didn't show a monologue joke.

11:46

They showed a joke from Surprise Inspection. But

11:51

they didn't set up Surprise

11:53

Inspection. So

11:56

instead, they just show everybody the Rangers game, me

11:58

telling Brian Donaldson. scallions joke

12:08

It cuts to me literally people boo

12:12

My son live it cuts to me

12:14

my son my son leans out of the shot You

12:38

Somebody wrote I feel

12:41

bad Seth invented birdbane

12:43

and They're gonna make

12:45

Halloween costumes and he's not gonna make any of the money

12:48

and a jackal Wrote in he

12:50

doesn't do it for the bucks He

12:52

does it for bucks. Laugh And

12:59

there you have it singularity

13:06

you wrote an inside joke about a person you never

13:08

met You

13:14

never met buck and you never have to You

13:19

watched corrections and you made a joke about

13:21

buck and it worked And

13:26

in the end wasn't that the goal You

13:41

usually hear the rain inside You

14:02

That's a hundred. I

14:06

kind of can't believe we

14:08

did it. But

14:11

we did it. A

14:14

thing that nobody would have said was a good idea.

14:16

And maybe

14:19

they were all right in the end. Let

14:25

me just say

14:29

I have no regrets about

14:34

my time with the jackal. We

14:43

went through this together. We

14:47

learned a lot. I

14:50

grew. You

14:53

didn't? I

14:57

don't know if any of us are better people, but

14:59

we made something together. I

15:05

couldn't have made it without you. I

15:12

just want to say that together

15:16

nothing will ever hurt us. Got

15:22

a job? For

15:46

more episode suggestions subscribe to the

15:49

Late Night Westuff Myers YouTube

15:51

channel.