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aks.com Hello

1:03

and welcome to another episode of

1:05

Telling Everybody Everything! It is April

1:07

Wednesday, April seventeenth to be exact.

1:10

Bobby's birthday week two days away

1:12

from his birthday April nineteenth. We

1:14

are going on a little family

1:17

small holiday to. You.

1:19

Guessed it, a popular members club farmhouse

1:21

that I I don't believe I like

1:23

them off on this podcast before I

1:25

really don't I feel like I was

1:27

getting compliments to the women who go

1:29

there by saying how country sheikh they

1:31

looked, how beautifully manicured they were. They

1:33

had an outstanding blow outs and important

1:35

bags with I don't feel like that

1:37

was mean to say. But. Obviously

1:40

when you hit a nerve with people and

1:42

you say something that's dead true. The.

1:44

Flip out, especially if they're partially partially

1:47

behaving called posh. I. Was on

1:49

a yacht one time. A lot of

1:51

related content on this podcast. I was

1:53

on a yacht in Monaco at some

1:55

point. As you do. And. The

1:57

owner of the I had a daughter. And.

1:59

I was in. Reviewing people. In

2:01

general over this series called How To Get

2:03

The Rich about the enrich. And I

2:05

remember I spoke to the daughter. And I

2:07

said to her have you ever had to

2:10

before? Have you ever because the viewer once

2:12

insight into what it's like to be the

2:14

daughter of a man who owns a yacht

2:16

and her friends who I think might have

2:18

been taking classes at the time as they

2:20

were jumpy also sees their meal ticket. So.

2:23

They're not going to be I yacht without her

2:25

said they gotta like stand up for the

2:27

Queen Bee and be I don't you talk to

2:30

my friends there were like how dare you speak

2:32

to her like.like see you know whose whose

2:34

father skill whose whose his boat as her down

2:36

with yes nipple babies so acts with I understand

2:38

exactly who she is and I understand exactly

2:40

where I am and she was by the way

2:43

and articulate kind. Beautiful girl,

2:46

What what I was doing away interview with giving

2:48

her space. To. Actually say yes.

2:50

I've had a job before. Regardless,

2:53

You know, I know my dad's this guy, but I've

2:55

worked in restaurants or I went on a gap year

2:57

to here and your audience might be surprised to know

2:59

that I do work. Really hard and and work. For. Myself my

3:01

dad self made man and I hope to

3:04

carry on his legacy by ah you know

3:06

regardless of what my privileges are in life

3:08

I also hoped work hard but seen him

3:10

and get a chance to say that means

3:12

has her friends were like will get you

3:14

checked off the i honestly don't worry. A.

3:16

Sick. Son: Prince.

3:19

Turned. Up later on. And.

3:21

I don't I don't know for sure

3:23

that it was Prince Andrew. I.

3:26

Don't know because that was before he was even

3:28

that like a problem. But I think

3:30

people may be root for me a bit more

3:32

because they know I'm white trash. And

3:35

I use I remain a mix of high

3:37

and low media. for example, Bobby.

3:39

And I just returned from debate. And.

3:41

I know that that was politically sensitive for a

3:43

lot of people and I understand why, but I

3:45

would always cautioned you to have a look at

3:47

your own countries human. Rights Record. And

3:50

the history of sexual violence

3:52

and like current. Ah,

3:54

population of the police and what

3:56

they. Actually, Do versus what

3:58

they say They. Stand. For. Are you

4:00

selling as best as to foreign countries? Are

4:02

you dealing arms to foreign countries? You.

4:05

Probably are ah are your

4:07

tax. Dollars going. We hope they do. I

4:09

don't know. Is your police force corrupt? Yes

4:11

it is. Anyway what I

4:14

was sure us is that there are

4:16

many people individually. Who could

4:18

be part of my community? and

4:20

I mean who could be alternative

4:22

for to be Lgbtq? A I

4:24

Plus, who could be feminists? who

4:27

could be unmarried, who could be

4:29

little less and. They

4:31

deserve a show as well as the

4:33

nice. You know, Dubai Appropriate.

4:36

A. Sanctioned. Families So

4:38

I went there and the promoters

4:40

were wonderful and the venue was

4:42

beautiful. And. I had

4:45

a great time. I'm already reading

4:47

some understanding stuff for the show. Bobby

4:49

is triggered by the in Dubai was

4:51

like is all of this really necessary

4:53

Jokes like. Ah I'm a

4:56

have a type and that hype is not

4:58

good enough. For me. Jokes.

5:00

Like bomb. He says the marriage equivalent

5:02

of ripped jeans. He's distressed real excuse

5:04

me like I forget all the things

5:06

that I was saying but I need

5:08

to get a life said about he

5:11

can have a break from been the

5:13

subject of Almost and up. You

5:15

know, as an aside, I don't want to comment on

5:17

this because I. I

5:20

don't like when things that I say

5:22

or picked up in the press and

5:24

they might be slightly miss worded or

5:26

misinterpreted. I just learned. Only

5:29

just the other day Opened my

5:31

phone and learned that the very.

5:34

Multi talented, Multi.

5:36

Hi Senate. Stunning, kind, magnanimous

5:38

artist and family has had

5:40

a baby with her husband

5:42

and I went baby with

5:44

our husbands like I didn't

5:46

even know that she was

5:48

in a relationship and I

5:50

see that she's. Secretly.

5:53

A. Little while ago in Las Vegas

5:55

married be. Also. Very

5:58

talented artist float I. Float.

6:00

High and I have had history and the

6:02

price. We had a little falling out of

6:04

the An Emmy awards but I never took

6:06

that personally and I do not to the

6:08

stay believe that slowed hi deserved. The

6:11

social media court of

6:13

public opinion up rising

6:15

that was heaped upon

6:17

him. Because. People

6:19

fail to recognize the nuance

6:22

of being in character in

6:24

performance setting. In that performance

6:26

setting, Float. I was in

6:28

character. And I was in character

6:30

and those characters class and neither one

6:32

of us wanted to lose status and

6:34

neither one of us. Wanted to backed. Unfortunately

6:38

slowed has character was. Like

6:41

I. Guess being a bit of a

6:43

let's any think he was probably drunk.

6:45

In Life and in character. but the

6:47

enemy awards a raucous and that's what

6:49

happens there and then. My character obviously

6:51

is a stand up comedian and very

6:53

feminist, and I was also going through

6:56

a terrible time as having a miscarriage

6:58

onstage that night. If I haven't made

7:00

that clear in the past, it was

7:02

just a terrible turn of events for

7:04

everyone. It was like. He.

7:07

Had things going on I have things were on and

7:09

it just class like. Of tsunami.

7:12

And. I was the wrong one to

7:14

mess with that nine. The wrong

7:16

one. I was going through what

7:18

I would describe now the mental

7:21

health crisis that lasted one week

7:23

anyway. Then I went on to

7:25

read. He. Had a successful album

7:27

after that, but then he's facing. Sex

7:30

abuse charges, And. Those

7:33

have not been resolved. And. I

7:35

don't know any of the detail

7:37

there and I always. Approached

7:40

these things with much caution.

7:43

And unfortunately is not the case.

7:46

That. Survivors of such

7:48

abuse lie. Ah,

7:50

More often than not, survivors of such

7:52

abuse. Either don't report it or

7:55

feel intimidates. Report it or it

7:57

goes to trial and the perpetrators

7:59

are. They found guilty of a very

8:01

difficult thing to prove. But

8:04

also sometimes there are innocent parties who

8:06

are falsely accused for whatever reason, so

8:09

you never know what's going on with

8:11

the shit. He. Denies to allegations

8:13

of rape. He entered a not guilty plea

8:16

of will face trial next year this year

8:18

I think so. I don't know what happened

8:20

without, but I know. That if

8:22

I were in a position where my partner was. Facing.

8:25

Such serious charges, especially as

8:27

a very visible feminist artist

8:29

like that, is. Ah,

8:32

I mean I would describe it

8:34

as stressful and haunting at best.

8:36

And to go through all that

8:38

and feel like. You.

8:41

Know maybe people are just private because they're celebrities?

8:43

What mean people are private? Because.

8:45

Of. A lot of women. Not.

8:48

All anyone I make generalizations on

8:50

here, which is confusing, but I

8:53

hate the trend of. Women

8:56

absorbing a man's recklessness

8:58

as their own shame.

9:01

So. Like separately from whatever

9:03

challenges they're facing as a

9:05

couple and they have coming

9:08

up. And Murray

9:10

is. Perfect. And what perfect,

9:12

beautiful, wonderful news that they had a

9:14

baby and what a blessing and I

9:16

was just I just thought. I

9:19

learned a lot when the announcement

9:21

was posted, but I just think,

9:23

oh, I really hope that she's

9:25

able to have that experience as

9:27

a new mom and. That. Just

9:30

joyful, joyful blessing. It's purest

9:32

form. I. Mean what

9:34

a tangent. So. We went to

9:36

Dubai the show going to be so good.

9:39

And when I went to states I just thought

9:41

oh my gosh like these people have come to

9:44

listen to the. Squeezy.

9:46

Shit that I have to say I almost

9:48

felt emotional and that happened the last Amazon

9:50

states which with months ago you know that

9:52

I'm torn. So now I go and do

9:54

it and I'm starting to feel that momentum

9:56

back like I felt was the clenched his

9:58

the word from my. Fire Saturday Night Live

10:00

character like ah, like I almost cried at the

10:03

oh my gosh, I'm so lucky that this gets

10:05

to be my job. So

10:07

for those of you listening to the

10:09

podcast on it today Wednesday, April seventeenth,

10:11

the day the podcast comes out. If

10:13

you live in London, if you happen

10:15

to be in Covent Garden this evening,

10:17

I'm gonna pop on at Top Secret.

10:19

Com the and have a garden tonight

10:21

after eight o'clock Unannounced, unlisted, So.

10:24

If you are com then there's your reward for

10:26

listening to the podcast. On the day that it

10:28

comes out you can see me doing some new

10:30

material. I welcome your feedback and notes spa be

10:32

some bite. it is can be home the kids

10:35

Why? Because he's a wonderful husband and father. I

10:37

think the stuff I say about. A month states.

10:40

I mean. I. Think it's a

10:42

mix that he'll be happy with when it's

10:44

all iron to have, but it can complain

10:46

about anyone else. I don't know anybody else.

10:48

Ah, some of the eagle eyed watchers of

10:50

the clips of my podcast will notice that

10:53

my thesis bleeding. If you just

10:55

listening to podcasts that was a lot

10:57

for you. You have sorely by now

10:59

have come to expect chaos and nothing

11:01

but full disclosure from my podcast. So.

11:04

You won't be too surprised to hear that

11:06

I'm making video clips with a bleeding face.

11:08

Basically, I've had a mall flash beauty spot

11:10

for forty years. The I just decided the

11:12

other night might have been a secret black

11:14

at all along. so he took a surgical

11:16

needle. And try to dig it out. and it didn't work.

11:18

I it has. Bled a lot with its of all

11:21

I had a more my arm I think this

11:23

is what kicked it all off. I

11:25

have melanoma states to melanoma when I was

11:27

twenty one years old and a lot of

11:29

you will know that as well, which is

11:32

really quite serious. I recently lost an extended

11:34

family member to Noma and I have a

11:36

family member who luckily is still alive and

11:38

she had states for melanoma at one point

11:41

that she recovered from. All

11:43

the way back when I was little but

11:45

at times I have ascended Irish listeners by

11:47

talking about myself as being and bread and

11:50

what I mean by that is I'm just

11:52

too Celtic to live. Not a criticism anyone

11:54

else. It's like my family are so lacking

11:56

in an ounce of melanin that like sure

11:58

we could get a taxi anyway they where

12:01

in the world and we benefit from structures

12:03

of white privilege and a happy about that.

12:06

But. I mean, unless happy about the fact that.

12:08

I also can't be anywhere without.

12:10

As the out with I am not built

12:12

to exist on a planet. the has a

12:14

son. So.

12:17

Had a small amount that I wanted removed and

12:19

I finally got a private consultation. It was meant

12:21

to be tonight. But instead I'm gonna do Stand Up

12:23

A Top Secret. I'm. And

12:26

I decided not to go through the consultation Gazelles

12:28

it can you just remove them all in the

12:30

appointment I knew it needs are moving and he

12:32

was like no will do the consultation and if

12:35

I deem them all to be remove worthy or

12:37

remove the on the thirtieth and I was like

12:39

now that's just not going to do luckily I

12:41

know surgeon to live close by it's me and

12:43

I went and got Mellow Stash of. Needles

12:46

from my blood thinners that it had. My

12:48

pregnancy with Fred. Oh, that's why faces

12:50

bleeding so much. I still

12:52

take aspirin, but anyway, That's.

12:55

How I cut him off my face and

12:57

is not the first time it's not can

12:59

be the last time. But officially I clashing

13:01

you not. To take

13:03

medical. Surgery. And tear

13:05

on hands and remove Iran most cause they

13:08

can be dicey. All right. My point is

13:10

please come to see me on tour. A

13:12

lot of the menus are selling out. We

13:14

hopefully we'll add more dates. I can't believe

13:16

they're selling out so early because my tour

13:18

doesn't even start until September. But if you

13:20

wanna come as can be a blast and

13:22

you would be wise to get your tickets

13:25

now I guess and I'm in different parts

13:27

of Europe as well. When we landed in

13:29

Dubai, And. I finally got service on

13:31

my phone because I did not have service

13:33

in the sky even though I paid sixteen

13:35

ninety nine for it. And I loved Amorette!

13:38

I don't fly British Airways anymore. If I can

13:40

avoid it because I don't have any status, I'm.

13:42

British Airways anymore. I used to be Platinum.

13:44

That was pretty good. That was pretty great.

13:47

And I got a little bit obsessed with

13:49

the point system, but now I find it

13:51

very difficult to find a reward flight. and

13:53

I've also been downgraded to bronze. Someone.

13:56

Somewhere should be sorting that because.

13:59

I. Stopped flying when the kids are worn

14:01

and in the pandemic obviously and I just

14:04

wasn't I wasn't keeping up the tear points

14:06

that I needed and now I have no

14:08

access to lounges or anything else. And we

14:10

used to fly business and first. More.

14:13

Reliable podcast content for everyone but with

14:15

the small children. Bobby and I had

14:17

a revelation. We flew premium economy because

14:19

it was just us without kids. For

14:21

tonight's including the that I'm I say.

14:23

We missed them terribly. We rushed to get

14:25

them, but I saw family and Premium economy

14:27

and they had two small boys in the

14:29

middle, the mom and dad on the ends

14:31

of the row. There are bigger seats know

14:33

they don't recline all the way but pretty

14:36

close and you can actually access your children.

14:38

The. When we went to Murray says we all

14:40

had business seats a made absolutely no sense

14:42

because you get your kids in his paws.

14:44

Far away from. You Fred Now.

14:46

The he's over to have to have his own seat. I

14:48

mean as a complete waste of money to sell. Just spend

14:51

the whole time with his dad. And.

14:53

He'll take a seat belt off and is on seat run

14:55

around the plane. and they won't let Bobby hold Fred on

14:57

the plane so. That have done

14:59

premium economy. At his announcement from the

15:01

rhine sister family were no longer flying.

15:03

This is ever anywhere. And

15:05

if you have been someone who secretly hope

15:08

it's like I'd love to experience business class

15:10

one day, I'd love to fly first class

15:12

One day. I'm here to tell you that

15:14

Premium Economy isn't. And

15:17

the sweet smugness have been in those

15:19

seats. Knowing that I had saved the

15:21

family thousands of pounds. It

15:24

isn't incredible. It was a

15:26

wonderful feeling that I'm going to be feeling again and again.

15:28

And again and again and again. no more business

15:31

for. I

15:33

landed to the news that O

15:36

J. Simpson was dead. And.

15:38

I was fantastic! Because.

15:41

I. Believe as many people do

15:44

as the civil suit proved.

15:47

Even. Though he was not found guilty i don't think

15:49

any criminal court. He was later found guilty in a.

15:51

Criminal Court for something else like

15:53

fighting. People to try to get his

15:55

merchandise back. One. Of the best things about.

15:57

This practice I don't do any research, I'm

15:59

just go by. memory always sends a huge

16:01

I went to some place in Las Vegas

16:04

that had Oj memorabilia and he like stole

16:06

it back and I think in doing that

16:08

he might have had a weapon or might

16:10

have fought someone or intimidated someone and he

16:12

was convicted of. ah but the whole. World

16:14

for like a decade or more.

16:16

had. Been. Screaming Like and he

16:18

murdered his wife. Nicole

16:20

Brown Simpson in Cold Blood. And

16:24

it was such a gruesome. Slaying.

16:26

As well and it was so transform

16:29

it is when I was growing up.

16:31

I remember I was nine years old.

16:33

I was at my friend Jessica as

16:35

house and her mother was a strident

16:38

feminist still is. And I

16:40

remember her mother shouting at the television just

16:42

being late. The. During the infamous

16:44

White Bronco Chase. Just.

16:47

Like he killed her. And I mean. I.

16:50

Think it's fine to speak ill of the dead

16:52

now like his estate is probably not going to

16:55

sue me for same as like I absolutely believe.

16:57

He murdered his wife at Lake

16:59

House. It's. Never anyone but the

17:01

husband. And the surface

17:03

of a trial went on and a really

17:06

opens the doors wide open for a the

17:08

twenty four hour news cycle. That and Nine

17:10

Eleven just made it. So the in America

17:12

the news is on twenty four hours a

17:15

day to have to wait til six o'clock

17:17

and court of public opinion like people started.

17:20

To. Really know about celebrities and what

17:22

they were doing and form their

17:24

own opinions. And neighbors would be

17:26

opposite neighbors and fighting and you

17:28

are either in one camp or

17:30

the other. And I think

17:33

the controversy with controversy with

17:35

Oj Simpson was so sad

17:37

really. I. Think.

17:40

He got away with it

17:42

in my opinion. Because.

17:45

Of. Two things massage

17:47

me and racism though. Because.

17:50

Two things can be true at the same

17:52

time. It can be true that he murdered

17:54

his wife, and it can also be true

17:57

that the police force. Were. Deeply

17:59

races. And that. The. American justice

18:01

system had a rich history.

18:04

Of. Atrocities against the Black

18:06

community for a number of years.

18:09

Pillaging. Black communities teaching fathers

18:12

and husbands out of their household,

18:14

putting them in jail for like

18:16

small petty crimes, that forever justice

18:19

system, that incarceration and system of.

18:22

Especially a rich history of

18:24

exactly that. Like white women,

18:28

Accusing black men have been

18:30

scary, have been violent, have

18:32

been perpetrators, and just those

18:34

white woman tears. Getting. Black

18:37

Man. Convicted. Either in a court

18:39

of law or a court of public opinion for things that. Oftentimes.

18:42

They didn't do. And.

18:45

So in this case, The i

18:47

think it happens to be true that would you

18:49

some said did kill his wife and if the

18:51

whole world have been so racist before that then

18:53

the judge in the jury could have looked at

18:55

it. Objectively of the like.

18:57

Yes, this man. Regardless, Of

18:59

celebrity staring and think it was about him being a celebrity.

19:02

I think it was more about. Them

19:04

the like off damn it. Like

19:06

the prosecution and the detectors and

19:08

the police force or so racist

19:10

that they fucked up a case

19:12

that otherwise would have been provable

19:14

that he was the murderer. But

19:17

their racism clouded. With.

19:19

Could have been a fair

19:21

investigation. So.

19:24

It's very sad all rounds and

19:26

this woman's life. Was.

19:29

Lost in the fall away. So I

19:31

mean I felt that I felt that

19:33

even though he said he had a

19:35

great life, he spent some jail he

19:37

said came succumbed to cancer aged seventy

19:39

six. That's a long long life and

19:41

there were no deathbed confession or anything

19:43

our would I feel like I was

19:45

maybe expecting that. I

19:47

get the right at the last movie he blake come. Closer,

19:50

Of course I did. But

19:52

I put a little video on Instagram of myself.

19:54

like holding up my phone Bobby's to the Instagram

19:56

story of me holding up the news on my

19:58

phone and smiling. Her messages from people

20:01

be like are you happy with yourself. Delighting

20:03

over the death of a man. his children are see

20:05

this, you. Know on like his children. First

20:07

of all, don't follow. Me on Instagram.

20:09

Secondly, he murdered their mother or. I

20:12

would expect them to be doing the same. Little.

20:14

Dance. Felidia.

20:17

What's happened over the weekend? Of course that's that

20:19

Be A trickle of words to which I've never

20:21

invited doesn't really make any sense to me. Know

20:23

I've never been in West and play but I've

20:25

had a West and see themselves and I'm such

20:27

a phantom. Such a good audience like I will

20:29

sit there and smiling clap. And. Are

20:31

single All that's why it's the singing

20:33

along I will quietly sing along in

20:36

my head since they were brilliantly presented

20:38

for the second year in a row

20:40

by Hannah Wadding I'm whose. Life.

20:43

And. Legacy. And every word.

20:46

I stand. She. Is a

20:48

small. says. Perfect. says.

20:50

A gay icon. She's a. Heterosis.

20:52

Normative. I can. She's.

20:55

A neuro divergent neurotypical

20:57

female male. Whatever.

20:59

You want? Serious.

21:02

Theatrical. I cause I'm sister so talented

21:04

and I had the great honor of sitting next

21:06

to her at the Glamour awards and linear and

21:08

I have to does and I don't think that

21:10

was as good of a host as she has

21:12

a Be Olivier. Award so maybe it with

21:14

pain I hope wasn't too painful for her

21:16

to watch me to thinking to yourself i

21:18

should be up there let me hosted all

21:20

your vision. Glamour the bastards.

21:24

I would love to see that actually. No.

21:27

I don't know if women are allowed. To house

21:29

about as the if they do it they are. I.

21:32

If they ever offered it. To me, I would

21:35

step aside or cohost. With. My

21:37

hero in life. And. In cinema.

21:40

Handling. Them. For. Queen. But

21:42

look. I'm in a little bit

21:44

of disagreement about the red carpet antics

21:46

so if she were beautiful dress I

21:48

think with March A saw I'm a

21:50

huge fan of Marchesa as was coming

21:52

down along the red carpet and she's

21:54

filmed saying to one of the paparazzi's.

21:57

Don't. Be a dick or a move off after

21:59

he said the to her show us some lag. And

22:04

it's difficult for me to disagree with a Santa wanting.

22:06

I'm sort of, so I'm on board, but I. Wonder.

22:09

If the context. Might

22:12

have been lost a little bit. It's not

22:14

as though. Hannah. Was

22:16

sidling up to a bus

22:18

station. And. And gentlemen just

22:20

decided to shout from across the road

22:22

like so as some leg Which is

22:25

that. Really? Bad: Really Offside. Adeline,

22:27

You're Not allowed. To shut that women. For

22:30

shoes on a red carpet with this beautiful

22:32

gown. And and she's there to

22:34

promote the awards, but also to look,

22:37

setting and to showcase the designer. And

22:39

the designer had incorporated a slit on

22:41

one side. I

22:43

get her point. She said, you'd never see that to

22:45

a man. Don't be a dick or I'll move up

22:48

and move off She did. And she's the

22:50

queen and like. I love it from her.

22:52

but you're right, they wouldn't They wouldn't say

22:54

to him and but maybe they would is

22:56

the men were wearing a Mark Chase a

22:59

gown with the slip on the side. You

23:01

don't I mean if not, it's not black

23:03

and white to me because I appreciate. An

23:06

assassin the the photos from the event. I think

23:08

there's so many wonderful celebrity and red carpet photographers.

23:10

Snapper Death is one that I loved very much

23:12

and he has a photo of has had a

23:15

we can see the leg out Now I'm sure

23:17

he didn't shout show Us Your Leg this is

23:19

from a different red carpet at the same evening

23:21

that the dress with the leg out like is

23:24

really beautiful. It's kind of a feature of the

23:26

dress like Martland to beautiful but as I really

23:28

always love his work. There are

23:30

some he suffers i think our talented and

23:32

the the really nice people and not the

23:34

day where they want to take upskirt photos

23:36

or also just don't feel like we're living

23:38

in that time anymore and if not as

23:40

though the accosted her somewhere that she didn't

23:42

expect him to be. I like when the

23:44

photographers give me coaching. When I'm on

23:46

our carpet. And they're like lifted

23:49

some single vashem shots right now. One with

23:51

Bobby is now given the kids like I

23:53

don't even mind because. They'll.

23:56

Turn around a shows the back like oh yeah

23:58

this distress has a really interesting the feature at

24:00

the. Back that. I love that coaching but I'm

24:02

not professional as Hannah wanting him as. I.

24:06

Don't be like living with argenis

24:08

if anything like they do certainly

24:10

work for an industry that is

24:12

still patriarchal and even women want

24:14

to see other women looking glamorous

24:16

looking then usually still which is

24:18

really toxic that they want to

24:20

see the details of the driest,

24:22

they want to see what make

24:24

up you hardly even when I

24:26

go on a show and I'm

24:28

talking about something serious or do

24:30

political comedy. People. Will

24:32

message me Blake what color lipstick this

24:34

you have on because we're selling these.

24:37

Products. To each other. And

24:40

were selling glamour to each other

24:42

and the new definition of glamour.

24:44

And these. These photos are

24:46

going to go. Hopefully.

24:48

Into press into newspapers and magazines

24:50

and that's how the photographer gets

24:52

paid. Selling. The Photos To an

24:54

agency that they work for an agency that like they want

24:57

to be in demand because their photos get used a lot

24:59

and they want to take great photos and they want to

25:01

show you that your best. I don't think.

25:04

Red carpet photographers that the Olivier Award want

25:06

to see like a nip slip or have

25:08

you thought on stops? I don't think they

25:10

want that, I don't think they're like get

25:12

your pussy out with the West complex that

25:14

it was. You. Know at

25:16

lake look. Destroy. Me:

25:18

Ruined. Me because I'm disagree with Hannah wanting of

25:21

I understand the sentiment and she's right. You wouldn't

25:23

say that oh man but a man wouldn't be

25:25

wearing like a beautiful notice address with a slit.

25:27

Leg and and when I saw the dress. With.

25:30

A bit of Lego and looked stunning. And there's

25:33

a makeup artist who painted not like brown. And.

25:35

Glossy and she's so serious.

25:38

A talented and. Smart.

25:42

And Unique which is also very glamorous and

25:44

I loved seeing that dress on her from

25:46

like all angles so I don't know if

25:48

I. Were there and I be like. Episodes

25:52

are you know, fuller? said i

25:54

i think the dress experiment leg up. But.

25:57

I may have a lot of internet and

25:59

Santini. It's been suggested more than once that

26:01

I do. Oh. A few

26:03

odds and ends from the news for

26:05

you this week: Mother of Five: Tori

26:08

Spelling. I don't think she's as famous

26:10

here in the Uk as she is

26:12

in America. I assume that at some

26:14

point after you completed Baywatch you received

26:16

access to nine or two Ueno Beverly

26:18

Hills, down to a now with Brendan.

26:21

And Brenda in Cali. Right?

26:24

Yes! And Dylan just the greatest ever.

26:26

So Aaron Spelling the like mogul who

26:28

made all of that ninety selves and

26:30

is Tori Spelling's father. Tori Spelling is

26:32

a very interesting celebrity and her own

26:34

right. I need to catch up with

26:36

Tori Spelling with has left us are

26:39

think with on a mass singer us

26:41

and she had a reality show for

26:43

a time and I think she dated

26:45

some loser. Their their apart now? I always

26:47

thought she was to the know him. I should check

26:49

that before I continue. Is she still

26:51

that? and Dean? But anyway, maybe not

26:54

too good for her because she bragged

26:56

on her Miss Spelling podcast that because

26:58

of delivering her brood buy a C

27:00

section. She quote has the lady parts

27:02

of a fourteen year old. According.

27:05

To her Obe eg. lan. What?

27:12

The shaming of We're Man

27:14

and the shaming of women's

27:16

bodies. Like I don't have. A

27:20

black and white response to all of it. You

27:22

would think like, well, if you're if you're okay with

27:24

that catherine than why are you. Saying.

27:26

That Hannah wanting them to get her leg out on the

27:28

red carpet. It's. I

27:31

think. It's this. It's it's.

27:33

high old. Sexualization.

27:36

And fetishization that really irks me. I

27:38

think that's what makes me sick about

27:40

this. that there's this idea that. Once.

27:43

You have children than your damaged goods and

27:45

there's lots of talk about vagina and like

27:47

how they should be and how they should

27:49

look that their meat. Curtains Of beef. Curtains

27:51

like. ah, that was another feature of.

27:54

early noughties teen sitcoms when

27:57

lauren conrad's sex tape with

27:59

malicious leaked amongst her group of friends

28:02

and the reality is like all

28:06

genitals are very different

28:09

and vaginas specifically

28:11

are, I use

28:13

the word vagina, it's like not it's your cervix and

28:15

whatever else that has a baby and we don't even

28:17

name the vagina the right parts because I'm not even

28:19

supposed to be saying vagina I don't know what the

28:21

part is that has the

28:23

actual baby. Your birth canal, yes your

28:26

vagina, your labia I guess they're criticizing

28:28

they think that if you have a

28:30

baby then you need to be shoving

28:32

like lasers and wands up there and

28:34

doing tightening things and like sitting on

28:36

a steam toilet and doing all this

28:39

crazy shit and it is

28:41

such junk science your

28:44

vagina is self-cleaning. Actually

28:47

I was offered an advert on here for a product

28:49

to clean your vagina and I wouldn't do it and

28:51

I'll do anything I just got back from Dubai but

28:54

I was like I'm not selling that to people because

28:57

I don't want them to think that their vag is

28:59

like dirty or needs to be cleaned. It

29:02

is self-cleaning and when you have a

29:04

baby it goes back to the way that it

29:06

was and if you have an injury or

29:08

if you have stitches or something else that's a separate issue

29:11

but you're not like gross after you have

29:13

a baby and if you have a c-section

29:15

then you don't you certainly don't peacock around

29:18

to your friends being like I

29:20

have the vagina of a child it's like what

29:24

and the same is true for even having

29:26

sex people think oh well it's like throwing

29:28

a hot dog down a hallway like don't

29:30

flatter yourself no your vagina

29:32

or whatever it is is amazing

29:34

because it's little and then it can stretch

29:37

to 10 centimeters to accommodate the

29:39

head of body of a baby and then

29:41

it goes straight back regardless

29:43

of whether you've had a c-section or not and

29:46

that's just the reality of it and you have

29:48

this teeny tiny cervix that slams back shut I

29:52

just I don't get it I think it's gross and

29:54

if you want to say if you want Tory spelling

29:56

mother of five to be like well

29:58

don't shame me being damaged goods

30:00

too much with five kids, which though that

30:03

is your baggage, not the sanctity

30:05

of your vag, by the way. I

30:07

know they probably each have many nannies, but if

30:09

it makes you feel better to be like, but my

30:12

vagina is still really tight, okay. What

30:15

does that do for you in life?

30:18

It means that what? Like, essentially you're saying

30:20

like you could have the smallest dick

30:22

ever and still touch the sides. Like that's

30:24

true with every vagina. Like there's no vagina

30:26

that's like a hula hoop. Just

30:30

whistling in the wind. That's not a thing. I've

30:33

had three kids from my vagina

30:35

each time. And I

30:37

mean, if this were a

30:39

video podcast, I could pick things up in my

30:41

husband's gym now with the muscles

30:43

of my vagina and carry them around. I've

30:46

had no lasers, no special exercise. It's

30:49

a muscle. That's what it does. It goes back.

30:52

I do think it's a thing where you have

30:54

to do little like exercises, kegels and things, I

30:56

think they're called, when

30:58

you're older to make sure you don't have like a bladder uterine

31:02

prolapse. I don't know, but that's like far away

31:04

from now to resmelling. Chill out. So

31:07

just say then that it's tight or say

31:09

like, oh, but it wasn't damaged. Say whatever,

31:11

but don't bring a child into it in

31:13

a sexual context. That's what gets my

31:15

goat. Fucking pedo. Elsewhere,

31:18

Kasia surprised Coachella attendees over the

31:20

weekend by joining Ridge's. Regina George

31:22

2.0, that's Rene Rap

31:24

for a revamped version of her

31:27

breakout hit TikTok, switching the opening

31:29

lyric of wake up in the

31:31

morning feeling like P Diddy in

31:33

light of recent controversy to wake

31:35

up in the morning like fuck

31:37

P Diddy. I mean,

31:39

what an unfortunate lyric. This is the

31:41

musical version of having like

31:43

a tattoo of

31:46

any man, like any historical man who turns out

31:48

to be a wrong in. And

31:50

there are a few musical lyrics

31:53

like Tiny Tumpah, who I love

31:55

has like in one in

31:57

one verse who's got tell

32:00

Jake Gay that I'm still rollin', tell Russell

32:02

I'm a brand. Two very

32:04

controversial figures now. I

32:07

think like don't bring celebrity names into any

32:09

of your lyrics, unless you know that it's

32:11

gonna be smooth sailing from there on. Otherwise,

32:14

you're gonna be at Coachella freestyling. Wake up

32:16

in the morning like fuck pea diddy. I

32:19

don't know how Kesha's stuff turned out. Kesha

32:21

had her own like historical

32:23

abuse with like

32:25

Dr. Luke that I really hope was resolved. Also,

32:29

Gypsy Rose Blanchard, she's

32:31

back in the news for a double whammy, including a

32:34

split from her allegedly abusive

32:36

prison husband, Shock, and

32:39

special education teacher, Ryan Anderson, and

32:41

for sharing a post-op photo of

32:44

a freshly hatched nose job. Says

32:46

Gypsy, I'm going through a personal

32:48

transformation journey, and that includes

32:50

a physical one too. Wish me luck with

32:52

my surgery and watch the whole thing this

32:55

summer on Gypsy Rose, Life After Lockup. I

32:58

mean, her rise

33:00

to celebrity following the murder

33:03

of her munchausen's by proxy

33:05

suffering mother could

33:07

not be more predictable. And I hope that she

33:09

is not teasing because listeners of

33:11

Telling Everybody Everything will know that my favorite

33:13

show on earth is Love After

33:15

Lockup. And I actually have a

33:17

friend who has offered a role,

33:20

like a role, like to be a contributor

33:22

on Love After Lockup because she dates criminals

33:24

and convicts, and she declined it. She

33:26

was like, nah, and I was like, damn it. I

33:28

did not think she was mentally well enough to know what a bad

33:31

idea that was. And I would really have

33:33

loved to watch it, but she got, she knew.

33:35

And Gypsy Rose, if she is

33:37

doing a celebrity, like my

33:40

dream intersection of

33:42

genres, celebrity,

33:46

munchausen's by proxy, a

33:48

pretty Love After Lockup,

33:51

nothing could be better than like celebrity naked

33:54

attraction, maybe celebrity

33:57

merit at first sight, Like

33:59

put celebrity. In almost any famous rally show

34:01

and I absolutely love it. But nine More than

34:03

Love After Lock Up and what network will not

34:05

be on Discovery? It has to be Discovery. I'm.

34:08

Gonna find out where it is. I'm. Going to get a

34:10

free guys and we're all gonna watch it together. I would have

34:12

a separate. Book Club Edition. Of the. Well,

34:16

that's really everything for this week. I think that it's

34:18

time. To hear from sponsors now and then come back to

34:20

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35:33

Something Listeners this beautiful maybe the most stunning

35:36

part of what we do here. I'm telling

35:38

everybody everything scattered. I absolutely love your podcast

35:40

said listen from day one but I wanted

35:42

to weigh in on your letter from the

35:44

wedding photographer friend asking whether she should ask

35:46

the bride to pay for photos now that

35:48

they're no longer speaking with reading Last week

35:50

I had a similar incident happened in my

35:52

life around my wedding. There was a falling

35:55

out with a friend and we haven't spoken

35:57

in two years There's she actually bought me

35:59

my wedding shoes as a gift, but the

36:01

closer we got to the wedding the more

36:03

I saw that wasn't right. I ended up

36:05

paying her back as they were very expensive

36:07

and couldn't consider them a guest seeing as

36:09

how we're no longer speaking. I know this

36:11

letter is the reverse but I guess at

36:14

the beginning of her letter she says she

36:16

would shoot the wedding for free. I don't

36:18

think you can now asked for money for

36:20

the photos. as I assume before she wasn't

36:22

gonna ask for the money anyway. So if

36:24

x friend feel like she should pay to

36:26

receive these and that's her decision. but I

36:28

don't think I would be asking for the

36:30

money Now it's just adding insult to injury

36:33

and my eyes. What's done is done. Move

36:35

on. If it were me I'd still email

36:37

the photos over as she may not have

36:39

any professional photos of her day. if not,

36:41

and that something she would really mad small.

36:43

I think that's why the previous listener wanted

36:45

to do it. It's really give a fuck.

36:47

Her up, isn't it? I think

36:49

the previous listener fully understands that

36:51

not emailing the photos would result

36:53

in her ex best friends not

36:56

having any professional tax. But I

36:58

agree. Like I said last week,

37:00

just be the better person. Always.

37:02

Stay. In your lane of goodness

37:04

and righteousness independent of the actions

37:06

of others. Because you can't control

37:09

other people, you can only control

37:11

your reaction. To other people and. That

37:14

and. Bad karma just not we

37:16

want for your life. Oh.

37:19

Joanne sad cat Any receipts, many positive messages

37:21

about you so and you by his little

37:23

highlights from a previous email or who attended

37:25

the show. A Common Questions: People seemed very

37:27

content with your answer and the last show,

37:30

but some were wondering what are your hard

37:32

nose from a country that would make you

37:34

walk away from a job? None. None.

37:38

My. None. I

37:41

don't. I don't love

37:44

what many countries. Are. Doing.

37:47

At. The Minute especially and people are

37:49

looking for each other and people are

37:51

doing this because they have a relationship

37:53

with that country and I don't understand

37:56

all of that. But what I fundamentally

37:58

now with that in every country in

38:00

every really gin and every ideology in

38:03

every ethnicity in every like political system

38:05

there are very very good people. Usually.

38:09

Trapped. By an evil government's. So

38:12

like am I going? Like would

38:14

I go into a gig in the palace?

38:16

Would I go into a gig like for

38:18

the Russian government? Would I go into a

38:20

good for our fucking government's after rishi sooner?

38:23

But fucking sandbars and made it so I

38:25

have to throw mine out. know I wouldn't

38:27

but the people of the Uk like I

38:29

don't blame. For the atrocities of their government.

38:33

Ah welcome to Dubai This person says as

38:35

so nice. Quaint, Oh. Okay,

38:38

not going to read the things you do, but I think we've had

38:40

enough. To buy an it really pisses people off so

38:42

I was very grateful to come see by. Thank you

38:44

for all your letters. Jealousy

38:47

and comparing Catherine last, I know I'm

38:49

lucky in many ways and I adore

38:51

my partner. I can't help but feel

38:53

intense envy toward my sister in law.

38:56

This is my partner's brother's wife.

38:58

Okay, so your husband has a

39:00

brother. And. You jealous of his wife? She's

39:03

naturally beautiful, slim, and wealth neurotic. She's

39:05

turned her hobby into a business, which

39:07

means she doesn't work more than twenty

39:09

hours a week. I'm not sure she

39:11

brings in much money, but her husband

39:13

is loaded as well as genetically blessed,

39:15

so she is a lot of freedom

39:17

from that. She had lots of friends

39:19

and family nearby a close relationship with

39:21

her parents to see her as the

39:23

light of their life. They have a

39:25

lovely house, they go an amazing holidays,

39:27

and they're not expecting their first child

39:29

after having gotten pregnant effortlessly. I, on

39:31

the other hand, I'm not married my

39:34

partner while good because you see if he

39:36

has whether it seems like and he want

39:38

to single white female his life. I'm

39:41

not married, my partner, I'm Sat and I'm working

39:43

a job that pays okay, but I don't enjoy

39:45

it at all. We own a house that I

39:47

don't like. What? And

39:50

my partner is on his way to a high

39:52

paying career. But as I'm currently the higher earners,

39:54

I can't reduce my hours or look to change

39:56

roles. whom. We

39:58

recently moved to an air. Where I have no friends

40:01

and my parents live too far away, speed our

40:03

lives as much as I'd like. I also have

40:05

some pretty chronic health issues that mean any child

40:07

I have would likely be disabled. It might not

40:09

be as bad if we had children sooner rather

40:11

than later, but I worry we can afford it

40:14

and I would really like to be married before

40:16

that happens. How can I

40:18

get this jealousy under control and is if I can

40:20

fix? if you've your problems first. I

40:22

mean, what chronic health issues mean that you'd

40:24

have a disabled child. I.

40:27

Don't know about that and I'm gonna have to take your

40:29

word for it. By. I would

40:31

definitely say that if you're sure that you want

40:33

to be a mother. No. One's

40:35

ever ready for that. It does seem, you

40:37

know, like it's a lot at once. And

40:39

and trust me, the biological injustice and you

40:42

having to deceive. do this sooner than later,

40:44

independent of your chronic health issues, just because

40:46

you're a woman and you're working women and

40:48

your the main breadwinner like your husband or

40:50

your future has been partners, not under the

40:53

gun like you are, so that. I.

40:56

Don't know what your chronic health issues are and

40:58

this is controversial to say. People take it the

41:00

runway. they get really offended or like. I've been

41:02

to all these doctors and you don't know, but

41:04

I promise that whatever they are, they may not

41:06

be cured by. but he could certainly be. Modulated.

41:10

By. A

41:12

peaceful. Spirit. A positive

41:14

attitude. Gratitude.

41:16

Where you can find it and I feel badly things

41:18

to with as I do like your sister in law

41:21

feel with I have everything I want right now and

41:23

I've been very blessed The there was a time when

41:25

I was far away from my friends and family to

41:27

and I was earning. No. Money of

41:29

in a sales job that like it wasn't even

41:31

going back to it after Violet was born. Because

41:34

daycare costs more than I was earning at work,

41:36

I was running out of money the end of

41:38

every month. Like people know this about me, my

41:40

partner was really unreliable financially. he was in and

41:42

out of jobs we weren't married. It. Turns

41:45

out I didn't love him. So like

41:47

start there at the partner that you have. I

41:49

was joking before about you wanting to fight his

41:51

brother. or maybe you do and maybe you can

41:53

buy. You love him

41:55

and you're in a happy, safe,

41:58

healthy relationship. presumably I

42:00

would really focus on that and the

42:02

gratitude that you can find in your

42:04

own life. Because,

42:08

oh, and it just

42:10

does sound so like wishy washy, celebrity,

42:12

but I believe that an attitude

42:15

of abundance creates abundance. I really

42:17

believe that. And

42:19

the gift that you can give yourself, no

42:21

matter where you are in life, is

42:24

gratitude. It really is just to focus on like,

42:26

you don't really know what's going on with this

42:29

sister in law. So it's pointless being

42:31

jealous of her. You talk about her neuroses. Who

42:33

knows how much friction that actually causes in

42:35

their marriage and how many nights she's at because

42:37

she can't sleep. She might have anxiety. Like, we don't know what's

42:39

going on with her. You don't

42:41

really know a family. You look at her

42:43

from the outside and she seems perfect, but she's

42:46

like a living version of Instagram to you. You

42:48

know, there's always a little bit of a

42:51

filter in her interface with people. Instead

42:53

of being jealous of her, maybe you

42:56

could be closer to her,

42:58

try to rub off some of

43:00

the positive attitude that she has. And

43:05

I don't know how I would reframe

43:07

jealousy into like

43:09

vision boarding. Use her

43:11

as like, I'm going to be like that soon and it's

43:13

going to be fine. And fake it until you make it.

43:15

Just feel the little glimpses of gratitude that

43:18

you could have. You are employed, like, thank

43:20

God. You don't like your house, but you're

43:22

a homeowner. Maybe speak to

43:24

your husband about fixing little things one by one

43:26

or your partner. Be like, do you know, I

43:28

would really feel more

43:31

fulfilled, safer in our relationship, better about things

43:33

if we were married. Let's get married. Or

43:35

we own this beautiful house. I don't like the house. And

43:38

you know that it's like a

43:40

great market right now for us to let the

43:42

house and make some money that

43:45

way. I always hear about evil landlords. You

43:47

could be that evil landlord. You

43:49

could let the house and you could let somewhere

43:51

else for a while until you make enough money

43:53

to upgrade to a house that you do like

43:56

or until Your partner's trajectory of

43:58

him earning more money pays off. You

44:00

can move somewhere else you do like. Like you have

44:02

all of these things ahead of you. You.

44:05

Really? Do? a where you are now is just

44:07

a season of your life and it's temporary as

44:09

not forever and. The. Only thing

44:11

that you have power over. Really?

44:13

While you're in this job new, away from

44:16

your parents themselves, is your attitude. Your attitude

44:18

counts for so much. Solid. I hope that's

44:20

good advice. I don't know if you can

44:22

really put it into practice. Oh

44:25

you say that you dare. Had hoped for

44:27

good relationship with this sister in law but

44:29

she's never really express any interest in getting

44:31

to know you and your aware that your

44:33

jealousy is making you miserable. So any advice?

44:35

I mean maybe your energy is off relieved

44:37

because you feel jealous and you feel like

44:39

you don't like. Your life. And.

44:42

Someone. Who has an

44:44

energy of like joyful abundance doesn't

44:47

want to be around that? So.

44:49

Work. On. That. Gratitude

44:52

and becoming someone that you would want to

44:54

hang around with and that all those wonderful

44:56

things will come into your life. He didn't

44:58

say how old you are, but like I

45:01

just feel like you're young and you have

45:03

so much happening. Oh, and speaking of fertility,

45:05

here's a fertility ticking clock message from a

45:07

gay man. Have a guy. We don't often

45:10

talk about man having a ticking biological clock

45:12

after. All. When

45:14

some leather faced sleeves ball in his

45:16

eighties, man is still a child. why

45:18

can't we? As I'm a gay man

45:20

of only forty two, I don't have

45:22

the pains of an inherently patriarchy on

45:24

medical system turning round telling me Eu

45:26

Geriatric pregnancy. Luckily it's happened this time

45:28

as your fertility has taken a swan

45:30

dive off the top diving board, but

45:32

I find myself morning which feels melodramatic,

45:34

but I can't find in other words

45:36

if it's the fact that I'm not

45:38

a father and in all likelihood I

45:40

never will be. For. Contact My husband

45:43

and I have been together for eight years,

45:45

married for six, and when we got together,

45:47

we did discuss the future and both acknowledge

45:49

that we wanted to have children. Now though,

45:51

it seems that the sheer dream is no

45:53

longer in the picture. We'd. Always set

45:55

a target to attain before starting a family.

45:57

Initially it was a place of our own

45:59

style. Being in a good place financially

46:01

and finally to be in Korea as we

46:04

both enjoyed but that would still allow for

46:06

us to take good paternity or adoption leave

46:08

period. We had all these goals some time

46:10

ago, but my husband now keep shying away

46:12

from the subject to talk about starting the

46:15

process. Last year I was diagnosed with a

46:17

congenital genetic condition which would make easiest target

46:19

impossible Due to this and additionally as my

46:21

husband is sterile. Oh so

46:24

adoption with are chosen preferred route parenthood

46:26

but now has been doesn't want to

46:28

go through with can be an intrusive

46:30

and psychologically draining process which I do

46:33

understand, but I'd be lying if I

46:35

didn't admit I'm starting to build resentment.

46:37

Course you are. It's so tricky when.

46:40

The person that you love, your partner in life. Seems

46:44

to have the same goals and then they deviate

46:46

from the path that you thought you were both

46:49

on, especially if you. Are a leadership style

46:51

person like it would really frustrate me

46:53

if I wanted something badly. and Bobby

46:55

was like no. I

46:57

would be tempted see like just go get it

46:59

on my own has that is my personality and

47:01

it seems like it's your personality too. But. Obviously

47:04

not because you're thoughtfully writing me

47:06

this letter and articulating. These.

47:08

Fatherhood, Periods.

47:11

Of morning that you have. I

47:13

love my husband after a previous shitty marriage.

47:16

He was amazing breath of fresh air and

47:18

he made me the wanted, loved and most

47:20

importantly respected. But with this apparent moving the

47:22

goalposts to sports metaphor in one email because

47:24

we're kind of gay am I'm worried that

47:26

my desire to be a from there is

47:29

actually just me being selfish and what if

47:31

he never actually wanna to be a father

47:33

after all and he never thought we'd actually

47:35

reach this to hades a my bad for

47:37

morning this life I never had or should

47:39

I just accept that. Maybe that life.

47:42

Was. Never meant for me anyway. I'm

47:46

I don't. the

47:50

only thing that confuses me is

47:52

that your email to me is

47:54

so funny and smart and articulate

47:56

and clear and when you talk

47:58

about your husband like it seems

48:01

like it feels like he's shying away.

48:03

Is he not the kind of man that you can sit down

48:06

and be like this is a

48:08

dream and it's very important to me and

48:11

we seem to be aligned on this and

48:13

now when it's brought up you

48:16

shy away from it but I need you to know that I

48:19

need a like I am gonna implement a

48:21

deadline and I need a decision on this

48:23

because I'm gonna have to get over a

48:25

heartbreak that is very real to me if

48:27

we don't have kids I'm not sure that

48:29

you understand how important this really is to

48:32

me because if you're having sort of hypothetical

48:34

conversations he might not even get like

48:36

it's amazing what men don't get sometimes

48:39

what you have to articulate for them like

48:41

you and I are fathers already in

48:44

many many ways we're like hand-holding

48:46

a lot of like emotional maturity a lot

48:48

of the time because men are just some

48:51

of them like they're big they golf

48:53

all day and they don't learn anything about each

48:55

other they don't really talk some

48:57

of them and since

48:59

you're so articulate I'm assuming your partner is

49:02

that kind so just make it clear

49:04

like this is how bad I want this are

49:06

you telling me I can't have it and start there because

49:09

I think that he might if he loves you as much

49:11

as you say and he's this wonderful understanding man who respects

49:13

you he might be like oh I didn't actually realize that

49:15

I was like destroying a dream that you had by not

49:17

becoming a father I have

49:21

a friend yeah

49:23

she's very open about it Susie ruffle

49:25

is a comedian who adopted a wonderful

49:28

wonderful little girl I would

49:31

listen to some of her articulation

49:36

of that experience on her

49:38

podcast or find

49:41

information like that from couples who have done

49:43

it and who I think the process ended

49:45

up being like quite smooth one interesting thing

49:47

is they wanted to interview an ex and

49:50

that's fun they don't do that to heterosexual couples

49:52

of getting pregnant

49:54

you can just get pregnant anytime I Like

49:57

that, the adoption process is thorough, but it is. Those

50:00

are worth it and maybe. If.

50:03

Your husband. Understood and he

50:05

be more open to that. I'm really sorry

50:07

because this is something that I totally understand

50:09

and and it is a very unique life

50:11

experience and you should only enter into a

50:13

if you really really want to otherwise. If

50:15

you do so to push him into it he will get

50:17

forced. Maybe that's okay for you.

50:20

Would. You like to be a divorce father? I don't know.

50:23

Secret Sex Toys Catherine of Them for

50:25

has been for seven years. In summary,

50:27

we have a great relationship. That sex

50:29

has always been a bit of an

50:31

issue because I want it more than

50:33

he does not one. After we'd moved

50:35

in together I'd been at work i

50:37

do shifts on the Nhs. I came

50:39

home and I notice that Airing Cupboard

50:41

door was open when I opened the

50:43

door to check the cat wasn't an

50:45

hour before closing it and accidentally creating

50:47

a cat sauna I saw know he

50:49

dead. A

50:51

plastic bags I'd never seen

50:54

a flashlight before and I

50:56

shouted, why? why? Vagina in

50:58

the airing cupboard before realizing

51:00

what it was. Later.

51:02

He addressed the issue as said he'd had

51:04

of when he was single any wouldn't use

51:06

it again. He said he would throw it

51:08

away and that was the end of At

51:10

My issue is that he wants sex so

51:12

infrequently. So. With

51:14

Sex with Me being replaced by this designer

51:16

vagina modeled on Tori Spelling, how can I

51:19

can be with that? my ass. Five years

51:21

later, he's going to be a best man

51:23

for his best friend. The groom asked me

51:25

for a specific football shirt of my husband's

51:28

and he would get it signed by the

51:30

footballer. as think you guessed. I've never been

51:32

through my husband's drawers, I'd never had the

51:34

desire to snoop, and nor do I even

51:37

put away his clean washing. You know what

51:39

I'm about to say. I found the old

51:41

flashlights. not only one, but two. We have

51:43

to. And it's a very realistic dildo.

51:45

The has a suction on the bottom. I'm

51:49

imagining his ticket to the shower tiles. Are

51:51

you ever whole. Ah,

51:57

So. I'm familiar with this. And.

52:00

This from the world of

52:02

celebrity pop culture and gossip.

52:04

Katie Price had an axe

52:06

to would like allegedly. Use.

52:09

Dell does that would like stick on

52:11

things. And back into them In I mean, this

52:14

is what's happening with your husband. How.

52:16

Interesting. It. People, Childhood.

52:20

Trauma or like whatever about their

52:22

inner child that creates all this

52:24

shame around Sachs I think is

52:27

what's responsible for his like a

52:29

shady flashlight behavior. Like. He

52:31

has. More

52:33

fun on his own. Like sex is a thing

52:36

that I don't know what happened with him. He.

52:38

Just. Learned. To. Like

52:40

masturbate and that was safer than

52:42

sharing Sachs as an intimate act

52:45

with a partner. I

52:48

don't know what to do. neither do I. Anal

52:51

isn't something we've ever done, either way. And

52:54

when it's been mentioned, he's made it clear it's

52:56

not from and he's interested in. either way, Will

52:58

he lied? And now how

53:00

can I bring it up? How can I tell my

53:02

snooped Because that's not what I was even doing. I

53:04

was going to get that football jersey and now that

53:06

the groom give them the shirt and he realizes the

53:08

I must have found the shirts given to the groom

53:11

know that I saw everything! What a thrill moment at

53:13

the wedding this will be for us both. I

53:17

I think you have to bring it up with and

53:20

like there are things that happen in my marriage. Like

53:22

not big things, just little stupid

53:24

things that. I. Mean, I just

53:26

think I'm just not going to mention

53:28

that Bobby and then seconds later I

53:30

mention it specific as I tell everybody

53:32

everything I get can't hide anything so

53:34

if I sound. Cloud.

53:36

british people if i found a

53:38

flashlight ne to flashlights and a

53:40

suction dildo said i thought my

53:42

has those tagging himself with in

53:45

the shower then i would immediately

53:47

bring it up with him immediately

53:49

and i think that it's lovely

53:51

that you don't want to cause

53:53

your husband any embarrassment a shame

53:55

but like you are two adults

53:57

in a marriage and he's not

53:59

being totally transparent in

54:01

this marriage and that to me is a

54:03

violation of your vows like

54:05

I would sit down not angrily but

54:08

very firmly because you know he actually wants you

54:10

to be firm like he wants to be

54:12

pegged by you or like you know by

54:14

the shower anyway so

54:17

you need to sit down and just be like I'm

54:19

coming to you as your wife and a

54:21

partner and an adult partnership

54:23

with no judgment I don't want you to feel

54:25

bad about what I'm gonna say next but

54:29

I'm dissatisfied with the amount of sex that we're having

54:32

and I don't have a problem with

54:34

you masturbating but if sex

54:36

that you're having alone is eclipsing

54:39

topical reference the sex

54:41

that we're having together then that is a problem for

54:43

me because to me

54:46

sex is an act of intimacy that is

54:48

to be mostly shared between a husband and

54:50

wife ie me and you in

54:52

this marriage whatever you're into I'm not gonna

54:54

shame you for it I'm gonna have a

54:56

go because I'm ready to sleep with the

54:59

bin man because I'm not getting laid by my own

55:01

husband so what's it gonna be let's

55:05

work through this and maybe you need couples

55:07

therapy or maybe like there's even literature surround

55:10

there's literature on the internet about everything he just

55:12

needs you we need to get to the bottom

55:14

of why he's more comfortable having sex alone than

55:16

sex with you and then it seems to me

55:18

like he needs

55:21

just needs to start telling the truth about

55:23

what he likes and dislikes and only then

55:25

can you decide like what this marriage is

55:27

if you're in a real relationship with true

55:29

intimacy like physical emotional mental best

55:31

friend intimacy because that's what you deserve and if

55:33

he can't give it to you like I

55:36

would consider moving on like eventually not right

55:38

away but I'd be like you're lying to

55:40

me about this thing that actually matters and

55:43

you've been married for how long like seven

55:45

years okay well the seven-year itch

55:48

is scratching and you can't

55:50

be 60 years old with this like you

55:52

need to have love and sex and transparency

55:54

in your life I think you might

55:56

have to peg your husband Catherine.

56:00

What their theme and it might take away

56:02

food? probably? The. Problem. Of

56:04

God I am now analysts Okay just if

56:06

you want to start listening to the podcast

56:08

now go ahead please come see me into

56:10

or if you want my book the audacity

56:12

is always available mostly I would love it

56:14

if you share this packed with your friends

56:16

and I love the listen to it full

56:18

stop right Me a letter any time at

56:20

telling everybody everything and jima.com That's the end

56:22

of the podcast and now here's a bonus

56:25

email. For any sick fuck wants to

56:27

stick around. Catherine. And then

56:29

there's one after that called my mom's. Secret Sex

56:31

Life. Dot. Earth did. Actually,

56:33

did I accidentally ingest strangers? Come

56:36

along with my ramen. My husband's

56:38

out of town will get good

56:40

and I wanted to treat myself.

56:46

To a dead ball of take out

56:48

V. Good This throw a spanner in

56:50

the works. The game. Plan.

56:53

Katsu Ramen while spending on my

56:55

favorite. Tv shows immediately. After

56:57

opening the box like a strong sense of

56:59

smell of see men trust me I recommend

57:01

that smell anywhere. I thought it's just some

57:04

Japanese seasoning. how stupid of me I know

57:06

and kept eating it. A. Bit

57:08

until I just couldn't anymore. I'm one hundred Some

57:10

positive someone had sex my ramen, Even.

57:13

The lid as such a strong see odor

57:15

I almost cute and I ate some of

57:17

it. It's been a few hours since and

57:19

I still feel sick to my stomach as

57:21

a strange sensation of my throat and he

57:23

plays a complete in a restaurant. I

57:27

need to leave this country. If

57:29

you guys keep up with this

57:31

I'm oh no I have accidentally

57:34

incest to the as strangers semen

57:36

skied violated my. Teeth

57:40

with a debating intimate.

57:44

Sweet. Feeding into. My rom and

57:47

while my husband was away, but I

57:49

didn't want to bother anyone. By.

57:51

Complaining. I don't want to be a

57:53

karen about it. I'll just be a

57:55

good guy and. Of. A.

57:58

Metabolize: This

58:00

protein, though I am of Egan, I

58:02

mean, that's my biggest. Complaint. Grow.

58:06

A Dick Britain. Like.

58:08

If you are. Sure, Like I'm not sure I

58:10

can't tell you this is com or not, but if

58:12

you sound sure. You.

58:15

Need to tell the restaurant. You. Need

58:17

to tell the restaurant because of this

58:19

by the way is not just like

58:21

growth. I think it qualifies as a

58:23

sex assault. Like. If I

58:25

was a judge or be like you are a

58:27

sex past and a. Pervert. And

58:29

you violated a woman like you are

58:32

unknowingly getting people to ingest your com

58:34

like that is a successes. And

58:36

sure it is. What

58:39

does this mean? Am I no longer began to

58:41

they accidentally Chino my husband. Should I tell him

58:43

his their risk of disease? I would appreciate if

58:45

you could address this hundred podcast to shed some

58:48

light. Is there a serial wang her lurking around

58:50

our restaurants I used to love take us for

58:52

this is traumatized me for life. So.

58:55

Yeah, like there are people who won't eat

58:58

food that they didn't see prepared. And I

59:00

am. I go to restaurants

59:02

and stuff by I understand whether to put you

59:04

off take way and this is the trouble with.

59:07

Not paying people enough for the work

59:09

that they do they get disgruntled if

59:11

you're not doing check on people they

59:13

to be tax offenders which I believe

59:15

this person is and this way need

59:17

to complain to the restaurant serial. Requires.

59:20

Like many people calling in and being brave enough

59:22

to be like I know the taste of com

59:25

and their seem and in my ramen. yes you

59:27

some of the again because you can be the

59:29

gun and breath fads and I'll think like bodily

59:31

fluids. you know I think you're fine on

59:34

that. I mean that's the least we worried but

59:36

ah tell me what the rest on it. I

59:39

mean I can't really call them third party because

59:41

I I didn't see the rom and but you

59:43

know what you know and let's hope that you're

59:45

wrong. Like what are you? Go there personally, order

59:48

another rom and like too sweet as soon as

59:50

you can and compare it to last one so

59:52

the you're absolutely sure and then I would literally

59:54

call the police. I wouldn't call the restaurant. i'm

59:58

sorry that this happens you know you did

1:00:01

cheat on your husband. You were assaulted. Anyone

1:00:03

who has any info about this please write in

1:00:05

telling everybody everything at cheatmail.com. Yikes. But

1:00:07

you've done nothing wrong and you shouldn't feel shame. Just call the

1:00:10

police. Next, my mom's secret

1:00:12

sex life, Catherine M. 17. I've

1:00:14

been a devoted listener for three years. I recently

1:00:17

went through my mother's phone, which I

1:00:19

know wasn't right, but based on her

1:00:21

history of sleeping with her friend's husband,

1:00:24

mom, it makes sense to

1:00:26

me. Five to six years ago

1:00:28

she started talking to this creepy old guy

1:00:30

from France all the time, and I knew

1:00:32

their relationship was somehow sexual. You

1:00:35

knew this at 12. After

1:00:37

going through messages between them just now, I've found

1:00:39

that my mother likes to be a sub. She

1:00:42

wears jewelry. He bought her to create a sense

1:00:44

of ownership as well. My only issue

1:00:46

with this is she talks to him about me and

1:00:48

sends some photos of me. This makes

1:00:51

me feel so uncomfortable and icky. Do

1:00:53

I say something even though I found out by looking

1:00:55

through her phone? This

1:00:57

is what's happening, guys. What I told you

1:00:59

would happen is that all these

1:01:01

babies that you posted

1:01:04

ultrasound photos of on your Facebook

1:01:06

and bath photos and all these

1:01:08

other photos and like here's

1:01:10

the first day of reception for Eloise and

1:01:12

like the name of their school and

1:01:14

all the sharing of data that you've

1:01:16

been doing, you've been doing

1:01:19

without consent because you don't own

1:01:21

your child's image and you

1:01:23

certainly don't own your 17-year-old child's image or

1:01:26

your seven-year-old child's image or your seven-month-old child's

1:01:28

image. It's something that I struggle with and

1:01:30

I'm trying to post Fred and Fennell S,

1:01:33

but I absolutely ask permission every

1:01:35

time I electronically share

1:01:37

any photo of Violet. And

1:01:40

I really need to do the same with the small

1:01:42

kids when it's age appropriate, like even sending them to

1:01:44

the family group chat. A

1:01:46

school has to ask you for permission to

1:01:48

put your child's photo on like the school

1:01:50

bulletin board or whatever else and

1:01:53

you should take that permission like very

1:01:56

seriously, like you are the custodian for

1:01:59

attending. Crary period of their image

1:02:01

until they're old enough to own it

1:02:04

themselves. So your mother's with wildly out

1:02:06

of line. Sending. Any photos

1:02:08

of you or even talking about you for

1:02:10

that matter with this man or any one

1:02:12

or the internet or like random people, it

1:02:14

doesn't matter. but especially with someone that you

1:02:16

don't know. The so weird about that since

1:02:19

you were twelve years old, you knew she

1:02:21

was having. Sort of an illicit

1:02:23

sexual relationship with. Your

1:02:25

almost an adult yourself. I would bring it up to

1:02:27

my mom. I would say. You. And

1:02:29

I have violated each other's

1:02:31

privacy. And under the

1:02:33

confess how I violated yours and then I'd

1:02:35

like you to stop violating mine. I

1:02:39

love you. not just as my Mother, that as

1:02:41

a woman and I know that you are going

1:02:43

to have a life outside of been my mother.

1:02:45

That means that you are flawed. And.

1:02:47

You are complex and your sexual and that's okay

1:02:49

with me and it's gonna become more okay with

1:02:52

me and I become an adult and I'm going

1:02:54

to have the same life outside of being your

1:02:56

daughter and you and I are gonna have to

1:02:58

be cool with that. but when I'm not going

1:03:00

to do is send photos of you mom to

1:03:02

like a creepy old man in France who buys

1:03:04

me Juri. Should I be lucky enough

1:03:06

to land one of those Weldon Mom? And

1:03:09

I would like feed it. Stop talking

1:03:11

about me with any man or any

1:03:13

one, I don't know. My. Images

1:03:16

my own. I own it is. Very private.

1:03:19

Ah, I should have got your phone. I

1:03:21

get that. but I'm glad that I did,

1:03:23

because now I can put a stop to

1:03:25

this violation of my image rights. And.

1:03:28

If she doesn't stop, sue her for copyright. In.

1:03:30

Front in fraction infringement. Whatever it costs,

1:03:33

I'm I've always been very like up

1:03:35

on this. Yes

1:03:38

I put on the kids in reality show called Parental

1:03:40

Guidance he can watch on T T V Play. But.

1:03:43

I'll be pulling that back. I swear, I Swear. They're.

1:03:46

Just babies And babies look to see. I'm.

1:03:50

Sorry that you had fun survey months I

1:03:52

would maybe just. Really

1:03:55

try to explore how you feel about it as well as

1:03:57

how you feel about this. New. A.

1:04:00

The Edge of your Mom Because as

1:04:02

you grow into a woman at a

1:04:04

grown woman and adult yourself, you will

1:04:06

have to. We all have to get

1:04:08

to this place of acceptance about the

1:04:10

very layered people that are parents are

1:04:12

independent of being our parents. And

1:04:14

I think it's good for you to come to terms

1:04:16

with that in I'm sure not like a total creep.

1:04:19

She's as be a sub to a rich Frenchman like

1:04:21

I want to be your mom and I love. Is

1:04:24

essential to. Another of the killing

1:04:26

everybody everything. I hope you look after each other

1:04:28

and that you feel happy, healthy and strong and

1:04:30

seen if. He

1:04:45

cast house. But.

1:04:52

It's or the film club that has

1:04:54

real frank discussions for them out films

1:04:56

are you actually want to watch? Well

1:04:58

then look no further kids we are

1:05:00

French Film Club with me Maisie Williams and

1:05:03

each week we watch a film and

1:05:05

then come together and of says i've

1:05:07

read or sometimes. Outside. His

1:05:09

later he the way it is always

1:05:11

a lot to say and the films

1:05:13

that we pick range or the way

1:05:15

from like Nine Keys and No Teeth

1:05:17

classics all the way up to new

1:05:19

releases are coming out every single week

1:05:21

and sometimes we get our listeners to

1:05:24

pick for us and we all work

1:05:26

in film industry don't me ladies injured

1:05:28

I am say we radio Silica specifically

1:05:30

how a film with Mate.