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started. Hello

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and welcome to another episode of Telling

0:45

Everybody Everything This week. Like every week,

0:48

I've been listening to my favorite podcast.

0:50

Hopefully this is your favorite podcast, but

0:52

if you're looking for another one, if

0:54

you're looking to get angry and call

0:56

our shudder aggro. Is. This

0:59

land flower our and

1:01

her podcast is informative

1:03

and nuanced and strong

1:05

and feminist. And.

1:07

On. Intersection. Of

1:09

Feminist and one of the problems I

1:12

have with her podcast though is that

1:14

when she's trying to. Really

1:17

highlight a point she sometimes puts

1:19

on a Nigerian accent. And that

1:21

Nigerian accent. Is. Now the

1:23

narrative voice in my head

1:25

when I'm feeling powerful. And

1:28

it's really problematic as we're not allowed to go out

1:30

in public. Can do a Nigerian accent especially? do it

1:33

badly. But. You my head

1:35

said. He. Is lying to you?

1:37

Go. What are you going to do? I.

1:39

Do that privately and that's okay, and I do it

1:41

now. For. The listeners of this

1:43

podcast. It's just important because he can't do

1:45

it like the white accent with powerful stuff

1:48

just doesn't work and that's our fault. He's

1:50

Lammy you girl. What? Are

1:53

you gonna do girl? oh

1:55

he's lie and girl

1:57

you deserve much better

2:01

Personally, I would not be having that. I

2:03

just, it doesn't resonate as well. I hope

2:05

that one day we reach a place of

2:08

true equality so that all

2:10

people, when they are feeling strong,

2:13

can put on a Nigerian accent without being

2:15

canceled. Because I love it when

2:17

she does it. It makes me feel like extra. And

2:20

I've been problematic in the past about fetishizing a

2:22

black woman's strength. I had a routine about Beyonce

2:24

where I thought I was complimenting her, but really,

2:27

I've learned from friends who care enough to explain

2:29

to me that when you fetishize a black woman's

2:31

strength, you deny her care and vulnerability. And I'm

2:33

supposed to do that. And

2:36

that's fair enough. That is a systemic issue.

2:39

A lot of

2:41

women who talk like this were

2:44

disenfranchised recently by the commencement speech

2:46

delivered by Harrison Butker. Is

2:48

that his name? I always forget

2:51

this dude's name. You would have seen him.

2:53

It went viral. He plays American football for

2:55

the Kansas City Chiefs. And

2:57

he was delivering a very Christian

2:59

speech at a very Christian place

3:02

of higher education. I

3:05

didn't think kickers got

3:07

knocked in the head quite this much,

3:09

but this absolute fanny was

3:12

talking out of his homophobic ass.

3:15

Homophobia has no place in American football, the

3:18

gayest sport to have ever existed. Yes, you

3:20

say a little prayer and you thank God

3:22

for the gifts that he has bestowed upon

3:24

you before putting your tights on and

3:26

going out dry humping a bunch

3:28

of men with

3:31

their bums out. Really nice bums,

3:33

football community. So there's my first

3:35

compliment of the day. I

3:37

wanna read some excerpts from his speech, which

3:40

the little clip that's going viral is taken out

3:42

of context. Bobby, my

3:44

husband, is currently a football fan.

3:47

He's a little bit more, all

3:49

a little bit more that way than I am. And

3:52

he said to me, Catherine, this clip has

3:55

been shared far and wide to make the feminist

3:57

angry. That's not really what he said. It was taken out of context.

3:59

Well, I read that. the entire transcript. And

4:01

I agreed with a few points that Harrison Bunt-Kerr,

4:04

not a typo,

4:06

that's the first red flag, Harrison

4:08

Bunt-Kerr spoke about COVID,

4:12

the response to COVID he thought was bullshit, so did

4:14

I. He talks

4:16

about the government, he talks about hypocrisy

4:18

within the government, he

4:22

talks about the LGBT pride

4:24

celebrations as being sinful, he

4:27

talks about things like abortion, IVF,

4:29

surrogacy, euthanasia, as well as a

4:31

growing support for degenerate cultural values in

4:33

media all stem from the pervasiveness of

4:35

disorder. But his most impassioned plea for

4:39

a return to the traditional gender

4:41

roles that have raised most eyebrows,

4:43

he said, how many of

4:45

you, he said this by the way, as

4:48

a very successful millionaire, 28 year

4:51

old millionaire, whose

4:53

mother is a physicist dealing

4:56

in oncology. Yes,

4:58

he's grown up Christian, I don't want

5:00

to disparage anyone's religious denomination, but if

5:02

this man had been Muslim or Sikh

5:05

or Hindu or anything

5:07

else, I feel like this speech

5:11

given to like-minded

5:14

Christians, but in a place of higher education,

5:16

is just spitting in the

5:18

face of all the women who have just spent

5:21

tens if not hundreds of

5:23

dollars investing in

5:25

their careers, he said, how

5:28

many of you are sitting here now about to

5:30

cross this stage and you're thinking about the promotions

5:32

and titles you're going to get in your career,

5:35

some of you may go on to lead successful careers in

5:37

the world, but, and

5:39

it's a big but, I would venture

5:41

to guess that the majority of you are

5:43

most excited about your marriage and the children

5:45

that you will bring into this world, and

5:48

then he dissolved into tears talking about his wife.

5:50

I think it's you, the women who have had the

5:52

most diabolical lies told to you, and I'm a little

5:55

bit on his side about Western feminism, you know that.

5:58

I don't think you can have it all, I don't think you can.

6:00

can have it all at the same time. But

6:03

during someone's graduation from a place

6:05

of higher education is not the

6:07

time to bring this up and

6:09

to cry about your misses. I

6:12

can tell you that my beautiful

6:14

wife is about my beautiful notice

6:17

the adjective that this

6:19

millionaire chose to describe

6:21

the wife who put

6:23

all of her career goals aside

6:26

to be his professional mom.

6:31

She's mother to his children and she's also

6:33

a homemaker which means helping

6:36

him to achieve everything that he has achieved

6:38

in his life which is football by the

6:40

way. He's got

6:42

coaches, he's got assistants, he clearly

6:44

isn't a stylist because

6:46

he cannot dress for shit. He

6:49

looks like an ill-fitting version

6:52

of Ewan McGregor in

6:55

that rom-com he did. Just weird suits. You know

6:57

when the Kansas City Chiefs especially and maybe I

6:59

just see these videos because Travis Kelce's in them

7:02

but they get out and Patrick Mahomes. They

7:04

get off the plane and they're like bop bop bop and they're

7:06

getting psyched up for the game and they're wearing fashions

7:08

and they have got too much Louis Vuitton. This

7:10

dude looks like an idiot every time. So

7:16

clearly even with a team of people to

7:18

guide him and to look after him,

7:21

this pussy hole can

7:25

barely keep it together. It

7:27

takes a woman working full-time to

7:30

assist this grown man to function

7:34

and all he could say about her is beautiful,

7:38

beautiful. That is

7:40

the virtue. That is the

7:42

most important thing. Not resilient,

7:45

resourceful, brilliant. Nah.

7:48

She has physical beauty. I can

7:52

tell you that my beautiful wife Isabelle would be

7:55

the first to say that her life truly started

7:57

when she began living her vocation as a wife.

8:00

and as a mother. It cannot be overstated that

8:02

all of my success is made possible because

8:04

a girl I met back in middle school would convert

8:07

to the faith and become my wife and embrace one

8:09

of the most important titles of all, homemaker. I

8:12

appreciate the value that is

8:14

placed on domestic labor. Like

8:16

it's nice. It's

8:18

really nice for your husband to acknowledge how

8:20

great you are at very important work and

8:23

how much you've sacrificed. I think all of

8:25

that is good. I think it's nice that

8:27

he cries about her. I think

8:29

it's fine. But my

8:32

issue, I think, and I've had a few

8:34

days to consider this because the

8:36

clip went viral last week and

8:38

I don't want to get angry straight away because

8:41

I understand a lot of where he's coming from,

8:43

how he was raised, and what he thinks he's

8:45

doing is giving traditional

8:48

Christian advice to these traditional Christian

8:50

women who are graduating from a

8:52

Christian place of higher learning. He's

8:54

saying, you know, it's okay

8:56

if you don't follow this path and you

8:58

stretch yourself too thin and then you miss

9:01

out on being a wife and a mother

9:03

because I see my beautiful partner Isabel really

9:05

thriving in that role. But

9:08

that's coming from such a place of privilege.

9:10

He doesn't realize that

9:12

Isabel's very lucky to

9:15

be able to live a life

9:18

of wealth and

9:20

protection and love and

9:23

that life is not afforded to every woman.

9:25

If it were, we wouldn't even

9:27

need higher

9:30

education unless we wanted it. They

9:32

started educating women, by the way, just so that they

9:34

could be a little bit interesting at dinner

9:37

parties in their own marriage so they'd have

9:39

something to talk about with their husbands. It

9:41

was important to educate women long, long ago

9:43

so that they weren't just like dumb and

9:45

boring at home. And

9:47

now this is a

9:49

lifeline for a lot of women who

9:51

are in abusive relationships, who are in

9:54

relationships where their loser husband has

9:56

addiction, dambles all their money away,

9:58

cheats on them, treats them,

10:00

we need access to Planned Parenthood and

10:03

birth control and all these other things, because

10:06

it is a life or death

10:08

situation sometimes when you are faced

10:10

with possibly being trapped with

10:13

and by the wrong man. Isabelle

10:16

happens to be married to

10:18

a multi-million pound earning

10:20

American football player who can facilitate

10:22

a friendship for her with Taylor

10:25

Swift. He

10:27

might be a God fearing, a really nice

10:29

husband, really tends to his wife's needs, supports

10:31

her, encourages her, is kind to her, gives

10:33

her freedom. He might be that. He's only

10:35

28. They haven't

10:38

been married for that long. There

10:40

have been Catholic men before him

10:42

who have turned to alcoholism,

10:44

who have become abusive, who have become

10:46

full anderers, who have just deserted their

10:48

families. What

10:51

then Harrison Butler? What then

10:53

are you supposed to do? And that's

10:55

me speaking as a 40 year old

10:57

self-made millionaire. It's very

10:59

gauche for me to call myself a millionaire.

11:01

People don't like it. British people don't like

11:04

it. People don't like to hear a woman

11:06

talking like that. I'm a self-made millionaire with

11:08

no investment from family, no divorce from a

11:10

rich man. I

11:12

was once in a position, a few

11:15

times actually, where I

11:17

was younger, vulnerable, with

11:20

someone navigating addiction issues with

11:22

someone highly aggressive, using

11:25

birth control to keep myself from being

11:27

trapped with people like this, needing

11:30

to extricate

11:32

myself from a very

11:35

dangerous relationship. And

11:37

thank God that what did I have from

11:39

God, your same God, helped me

11:41

out, like he's helped so many

11:44

women out, by making me highly

11:46

competent, by making me resourceful, by

11:48

making me resilient, by

11:50

making a society where I could earn a

11:52

higher education, where I could have self-confidence, where

11:54

I had access to equal pay, where

11:57

I could do things to keep myself from being

11:59

trapped safe. You talk

12:01

to all these the best thing that you

12:03

can be as a wife and a mother. So

12:06

don't worry about any of the rest of

12:08

this shit. They might need this shit. They

12:10

might find that their higher education

12:13

comes in handy when they need

12:15

to stand on their own. Following the

12:17

homemaker comments, he pauses

12:19

to discuss the plague of single parent

12:21

families with no father in the house.

12:23

He said, what plagues our society is

12:26

this lie that has been told to

12:28

you that men are not necessary in

12:30

the home or in our communities. I

12:33

would like this if he was speaking to

12:35

men, but he's just said the homemaker thing.

12:37

And then he says the lie that has

12:39

been told to you, i.e. the

12:41

homemakers or the women, that men are

12:43

not necessary in the home or in

12:45

our communities. As men, we set the

12:47

tone of the culture. And when that

12:49

is absent in disorder, dysfunction and chaos

12:51

set in, this absence of men in

12:53

the home is what plays a large

12:55

role in the violence we see all

12:57

around the nation. Be unapologetic

13:00

in your masculinity, fighting against the

13:02

cultural emasculation of men. What

13:05

does that even mean? There's so many conflating ideas

13:07

in this speech, especially

13:09

this part. So like because

13:12

women think men aren't necessary in the home, by the

13:14

way, we do, I

13:16

think, accept that in a

13:18

perfect world, the

13:21

traditional shape of a family can

13:23

make a lot of sense, especially

13:25

in a Christian community. It

13:28

is not our fault when

13:30

a man proves to be

13:32

redundant and he is escorted

13:35

out or he leaves of his own

13:37

volition, which they do all the time.

13:39

And then where is beauty going to

13:41

get you? Where is dedicating your

13:43

life to being a wife and mother going to

13:45

get you? We

13:50

are violent because let

13:53

a single parent household be

13:56

unapologetic in your masculinity.

14:00

to me, I don't know what Harrison's talking

14:02

about, he did not expand

14:05

on that. But I think

14:07

masculinity means being

14:09

a calm and competent leader, following

14:11

through on promises that you make, being

14:14

accountable for what your role is in your family and where

14:16

you're supposed to be, and tending to

14:18

the holistic wellness of everybody in the house.

14:21

If you do that, there

14:23

are very few Christian

14:25

wives who are going to think you're

14:27

not useful in the house. This

14:30

comes from being useful. Be

14:32

useful in the house and you shall be deemed useful.

14:36

There's a celebrity, a lot of celebrities have commented on

14:39

this actually, but there's a country queen, Marin

14:42

Morris, who succinctly summed it up

14:44

under the video of this dissertation speech by

14:47

saying, I choose the bear.

14:50

It's lovely that this

14:52

28 year old athlete is

14:55

giving his wife her flowers for all

14:57

of the things that she's done for

15:00

his family. I like that

15:02

part of it. And I think it's a beautiful

15:04

relationship that they seem to have, but it is

15:07

irresponsible at

15:09

the very least and dangerous at

15:11

worst to

15:14

lead these women down

15:16

a path of investing everything in

15:18

that role, knowing full well

15:21

that I'm sure he's had teammates, other

15:23

professional athletes, other men of the Catholic

15:25

church who professed to be perfect partners,

15:27

God fearing men in the past. I

15:30

mean, Catholics are not notoriously

15:32

without sin. I think

15:35

it's very dangerous to say to

15:37

a room of

15:40

highly educated women, well, the

15:42

best thing that you can do is set

15:45

that all aside to be subservient

15:48

to the agenda of

15:51

a man you love. Again,

15:53

for example, I

15:56

will always keep you on a path of as

15:58

much safety, vigilance, and and assessment as

16:00

I can. Hopefully you made a great guy.

16:02

It would be wonderful. And

16:05

you will never regret having your children and spending time

16:07

with them and looking after them. But

16:09

you need a plan B, either

16:11

the plan B that he hates or

16:14

the plan B that he really hates. If

16:17

you are going to get married, you

16:19

want to make sure and marry a

16:21

good, good, good, good, good, good guy

16:23

like Ben Affleck. What is going on?

16:25

There have been reports over the last

16:27

few days, weeks, that

16:29

Ben Affleck is claiming temporary insanity in

16:31

marrying J.Lo. He was so in love

16:34

with the 54 year old. Is

16:36

he 54? She's 54. I

16:38

don't know. They're like old, older

16:40

than me. And I like that because it reminds you that

16:42

you shouldn't, you know her, you can fall in love at

16:44

any time. I think that's really great. But

16:47

he's claiming that he was insane. He was so

16:49

in love with her. He didn't really know what

16:51

he was doing. And two years ago, they married

16:53

and now they want a divorce. And these feel

16:55

like substantiated rumors. Neither one has confirmed or denied.

16:57

But like J.Lo was in a press

17:00

conference the other day where a reporter said, is

17:02

your divorce from Ben Affleck real? And

17:04

she looked shocked. And then one of her co-stars jumped in

17:06

and was like, oh no, we're not going to go there

17:08

today. And then she glared at the reporter. She's like, you

17:10

know better than that. And

17:12

it's fair enough. Well, if

17:15

you're going to put your personal life in the spotlight,

17:18

then you can't just whip it away and

17:20

expect reporters not to ask you about it.

17:23

The whole Ben Afferr thing

17:26

has been traded on when it began,

17:29

however many years ago and now in its

17:31

resurgence today. And

17:33

if you say, oh, you can't ask me that, it's basically

17:36

confirming that it's done. If Bobby

17:38

and I were done, we've had kind of a

17:40

reality show now. I put them on my socials. I take

17:42

them to my carpets and things. If the reporter was like,

17:45

are you and Bobby separating or

17:47

not together or not living together? I think I

17:49

would owe it to an audience that I let

17:51

into the first part of the story to be

17:53

like, yeah, things are tough and we're living apart.

17:56

I don't understand why it's so difficult for celebrities

17:58

just to be honest, just to follow. through

18:00

with honesty but you

18:02

know JLo, JLo is one of the

18:04

original divas. She has loads

18:07

of you know behavioral rumors. I don't know if

18:09

JLo is nice or not. I saw JLo once

18:11

at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills. She's

18:14

mild, seemed pretty nice, very tiny,

18:16

she looked great. Though one

18:18

of my friends from LA, she

18:21

she's really cool. She has a really great page. She

18:23

talks a lot about being a mother over 40. She

18:25

has three boys. She's called Stewart Brazel

18:27

and she said

18:30

that both JLo and Justin Timberlake have

18:32

had to cancel shows because of low

18:34

ticket sales and then she showed a

18:36

map of one of JLo's concerts and

18:38

there's so much blue like many, many,

18:40

many unsold tickets and

18:42

I feel for American

18:44

artists at the minute. JLo's had bad

18:46

PR recently, Justin Timberlake, same thing, really

18:48

weird PR lately and now there are

18:51

rumors that he's got some daughter that

18:53

he paid her mother off to hide

18:55

her and we thought JTT was one of the good

18:57

ones. Didn't way. It's

19:01

difficult to move tickets in the

19:03

US and I think edibles have a huge

19:05

hand in that. People are comfy and cozy,

19:08

getting high and eating food at home, watching

19:10

something on a streaming service. Thred

19:14

had his tonsils removed, not

19:17

reduced. Controversially he

19:19

had them removed along with his

19:21

adenoids on Tuesday and if

19:23

you are thinking of getting your child's

19:25

adenoids and or tonsils removed, they have

19:27

changed the technology. I've spoken about this

19:29

in other episodes. It used to be

19:31

a knife, then it was lasers and

19:33

now it's some cold blasian which essentially

19:36

dissolves them and there's very little downtime.

19:38

I have to tell you it broke

19:40

my heart because Fred has

19:42

bounced back so quickly. He has

19:44

recovered almost without even noticing

19:47

that he was sore. That

19:49

at first Bobby and I were like, oh wow,

19:51

I mean he had a really smooth surgery and

19:53

really quick recovery. It doesn't even hurt him just

19:55

like the doctor said. A lot of kids don't

19:57

even feel sore. But then I really thought

20:00

about it and I went, oh do they not feel

20:02

sore? Because having an organ removed is sore. Are they

20:05

just accustomed to

20:08

pain because they've had infected and

20:10

enlarged tonsils and adenoids for so long?

20:12

And then I felt really sick about

20:15

it. I think that

20:17

this is the right path for Fred and only you

20:19

know your kid. So there are

20:21

controversies about removing tonsils. Even I

20:23

was like, will

20:25

it affect his immunology?

20:27

I've read things that tonsils are there

20:30

to catch infection and catch bacteria

20:32

and without them you were susceptible to

20:34

get more respiratory illness, blah blah blah. I've read all

20:36

these things but ultimately I just have to weigh it

20:38

up. Fred is sweaty at night. He

20:40

doesn't sleep through the night. I'm not just selfishly

20:42

trying to remove adenoids and tonsils so that he

20:44

can breathe better and sleep through the night for

20:46

my sake but for his own sake. He's a

20:49

busy boy. He needs to be rested. Also,

20:52

he was a really big baby. Huge. I

20:54

don't even know. Bobby would always weigh him

20:57

and measure him like a salmon and had

20:59

charts about it. Bobby was

21:01

in charge of all the numbers but

21:05

for me it's just his clothes. He was wearing

21:07

age four to five clothes when he was like

21:09

two years old and now he's still in the

21:11

same clothes. He's just getting long and skinny and

21:13

I know kids do that anyway but I think

21:15

that part of that is

21:17

Fred's aversion to food and I think

21:19

part of his aversion to certain textures

21:21

of foods is because there's very little

21:23

room for him to chew and swallow and

21:25

eat properly. Also, with big adenoids they can't

21:27

smell as well. They can't taste as well.

21:30

All these different things plus the fact that Fred

21:32

is a performer. He's a music man. I can

21:35

hear when he speaks and when he

21:37

sings congestion. I could just, I just went

21:40

back and forth and then I knew it needed

21:42

to be done. We went privately.

21:45

We were very blessed to be able to do

21:47

that because we don't have to wait. He

21:50

was at risk of having his surgery cancelled because

21:52

he did have a throat infection and what's

21:55

tricky is being

21:58

a candidate for having your tonsils now. by

22:01

definition means that you're going to have a lot

22:03

of overlapping infections of your tonsils. And

22:05

you can only have surgery in between those

22:07

infections. So how do you plan for that?

22:10

So Fred was feeling very fit and well, and then

22:12

all of a sudden he got a fever, and then

22:14

all of a sudden he had a throat infection, and

22:17

we were right on it with antibiotics.

22:19

Even though I give antibiotics sparingly, you

22:22

never want to develop a resistance, I

22:24

had to give him antibiotics. When he has a

22:26

fever that won't go away for several days and he clearly has

22:29

an infection of white spots in his throat, you

22:31

don't have a choice. He

22:33

finished the antibiotics, he got better, he had

22:35

to go to an extra post-preoperative, sorry, assessment

22:38

to make sure he was well enough for

22:40

surgery, and he was. He's like,

22:42

bounces back so quickly, he's back to himself. But

22:45

if the surgery had been even two or three days

22:47

earlier, I don't think we would have qualified. And then

22:49

we'd have to delay it till God knows when he's

22:52

sick with another infection. This is something that parents on the

22:54

NHS, I'm sure, have to navigate really

22:56

carefully because they just don't

22:58

have the same schedule, the same availability

23:01

to accommodate you. So

23:03

he was right for surgery. This

23:05

really works well with my schedule. I've taken this

23:08

whole week off, I've had a lovely week of

23:10

sitting around, because Fred was back at gymnastics day

23:12

one, he's fine. But

23:15

we went in and it was,

23:17

you know, you have to tell them age-appropriate information.

23:20

I told him we'd be going to see the

23:23

doctor. Bobby and I both took him, so that

23:25

was special not to have Fana around. Fana

23:28

stayed home with the babysitter Miriam, and

23:30

we went in, and we have books

23:32

from the 80s about hospitals, which were

23:34

a lot more honest than books probably are now. Shows

23:38

you all the equipment and all the different things. I said, we're going to

23:40

see the doctor that you know, and he's going to make it so that

23:42

you don't get a sore throat or gurn. And Fred was like, huh,

23:45

very suspicious. I

23:48

took him down to the operating room. They allowed the

23:50

parents to go in, and the way they put young

23:52

children to sleep now is they put

23:54

gas in a mask over

23:56

their face, and the anesthetist was Out

23:59

of this world. The Brilliant: Now I'm asking

24:01

my jealousy because I love to be a

24:03

nice the ties and I've tried to. Smell

24:06

up some of the gas for myself

24:08

that I'm He was a really fun gentle

24:11

father himself. He put the mask a

24:13

pretty bizarre at Freddy's explaining everything to

24:15

him he was you can smell a blue

24:17

smoke any small that for to bury

24:19

is not one. Friend like. You.

24:21

Know sort of. Suspicious.

24:24

Still, but going lot of good. The really like. Business

24:26

and can smell the red smoke. He's not

24:28

know your thoughts. Hopelessness and now Fred you

24:30

start to feel really tired and even close

24:32

your eyes. Me: want to close your eyes

24:34

and Fred's eyes is tired anyway because he

24:36

spent the whole day been suspicious at the

24:38

hospital. takes a long time to check you

24:40

and get into room and drive to the

24:43

awful bubble baths. Retired Anyway it was perfect

24:45

from to have a little sleep. but one

24:47

thing and they did warn us about this

24:49

is that when children are going under be

24:51

clear to start to fight back so they're

24:53

falling asleep. but I don't like a horse,

24:55

they don't want. A sleep And this

24:57

is why sadly. To you

24:59

know, put a horse to sleep. You can't

25:01

use the gentle normal methods because the horse

25:04

would kick around and flip out really hurt

25:06

themselves. And

25:08

to put. A child under anaesthetic think

25:10

they do the same time? like. At

25:13

Fred Strong so kind of. His arms like this are

25:15

just as he was going under but he was. Biases

25:17

are I've raised in have little sleep in them. I'll

25:19

be right here when you wake up and it. Was

25:21

really uneventfully just fell asleep and then

25:23

given little kiss me keep him with

25:25

his blanket, new leave and them. it

25:28

takes only thirty minutes and then in

25:30

a Fred has quit an advanced. Profanity

25:34

repertoire. Ah,

25:36

I don't know who to blame for that.

25:38

It's a lot of the music that Fred

25:41

listens to. It is that Had a teenage

25:43

sister, his friends purchasing a little Europe and

25:45

he's one of us. Where's my kitchen by?

25:47

I was with him and recovery and these

25:49

wonderful nurses would look destroy us all day.

25:51

You not possible to have a play specialist

25:53

which is so important when children are in

25:56

the hospital. Even if they bring their own toys, the

25:58

bring in new toys a haven't seen before. And

26:00

by new toys, I mean like severely,

26:03

roughly used toys, but exciting

26:05

nevertheless. Just a wonderful team.

26:07

There's no one better on this planet

26:09

than medical healthcare workers, nurses,

26:13

they're just so great. So all these young,

26:15

young women are in recovery. They all look

26:17

young to me now. I'm like a creepy grandma.

26:19

I was like, you girls? The one girl

26:21

was like, oh, I really like your

26:23

bag. I was wearing this body,

26:25

cross body, Lululemon bag that was actually Violet's,

26:28

but I stole it because I love fanny

26:30

packs, cross body bags. I love to be hands-free.

26:32

She said, I love that. I really like Lululemon. I got

26:35

a gift certificate for my birthday. I'm actually about to go

26:37

there on my day off. And I

26:39

said, I used to love Lululemon when I was your age

26:41

and I had a butt like that. It's not exactly what

26:43

I said, but I insinuated

26:46

that I no longer am a

26:48

candidate for yoga pants, which is false.

26:51

Everybody is a beach body. You know, it was bad, but I

26:53

just, around young women, I'm

26:56

like overly nice to them that if I was a man, that

26:59

would really come off creepy. I'm like, oh, when I was a young girl,

27:01

I loved Lululemon as well. Anyway, fun

27:04

fact, Lululemon is a Canadian company and it

27:07

started when I was the perfect

27:10

bum body for Lululemon. I loved it. It

27:12

was the most aspirational thing and now it's

27:15

everywhere. So that's great. Sweaty Betty, also great.

27:18

So Fred was waking up in recovery and

27:20

he, I'm afraid to say, he got really

27:23

angry. Fred is always very switched on. And

27:26

one casualty of that means he gets angry

27:28

sometimes. And he was like, oh, where's

27:30

Dad? I said, Dad's here, Dad's right here.

27:32

And he goes, fuck's sake. I was

27:35

like, oh. And by the look

27:37

on these women's face, I was like,

27:39

it is definitely the first time that anyone in

27:41

this lovely private hospital has heard

27:43

a two year old in

27:45

recovery from a surgical procedure shout.

27:47

And he like growls shouted it,

27:50

fuck's sake. I was like, he

27:53

gets that from his sister, but they don't know how

27:55

old his sister is. So what am I, he gets that

27:57

from his sister. Really sounds like I'm blaming a one year

27:59

old. Another one year old I haven't home. All.

28:02

In all, it was great. And I loved

28:04

that the doctors really talk you through

28:06

everything that's going happen. Before. It

28:09

happens and of course I suffer from hyper

28:11

dependence as a trauma response some like wait

28:13

yes I know a by I hold it

28:15

together am always com and stressful situations where

28:17

Bobby's like melting down had his hands with

28:19

really trying to keep it together, really trying

28:21

not to look at any equipment in the

28:23

operating room and I'm a great. I know

28:25

that I've already read everything there is, read

28:27

about it. I basically the Phd. I know

28:29

exactly what's gonna happen but it's still very

28:31

comforting to have them really explain if you

28:33

like he's gonna with up north have read

28:35

livid then hopefully he has little cry for

28:37

thirty minutes and he has a nap and

28:39

after a two hour nap he'll wake up

28:41

with nothing ever happened And that is exactly.

28:43

How. It went. There was

28:45

beautiful food at the hospital. I have to tell

28:47

you. And. You know, I don't want to

28:50

be an asshole, but there was a line list. There.

28:52

Was a wine and champagne

28:54

list. And Bobby and I were

28:56

not about to order a bottle of champagne. I

28:59

think that's for when a baby is born. I.

29:02

Don't really think parents who are accompanying

29:04

their toddlers into a tonsil and admin

29:06

act me or pop in bottles. In

29:09

the recovery room? Like? I don't think that's

29:11

happening. I think for me, even for me.

29:14

For. Me, it would have been

29:16

deeply inappropriate. To. Have a white

29:18

wine and like Greek salad while I'm

29:20

waiting. I just couldn't do it, but

29:22

I wanted to do it. Bobby probably

29:24

could have used it. Will take in

29:27

the edge off massively, but we're so

29:29

grateful to the nurses and doctors. That

29:31

couldn't have been better. If you are

29:33

considering getting your child's tonsils and adenoids

29:35

removed, I think I really feel strongly

29:37

that we've done the right thing for

29:39

Frat A. Think that if we had

29:41

left them he would have had recurring

29:43

infections. he would have had disturbed sleep

29:45

he would have had. Maybe changes to

29:47

the development. Of his soft palate in his

29:49

mouth and his teeth and his safe like

29:52

if your mouth breather which I am you're

29:54

supposed to have a long face which I

29:56

have. I. mean i'm not mouth breather

29:58

anymore but i was because my parents

30:00

loved the cat more than me who was allergic

30:03

to the cat. But

30:05

there's a little insight into my inner

30:08

child that you didn't ask for. Let's

30:11

take a break now. Listen to our beautiful

30:14

words from our sponsors who I'm so grateful

30:16

to for sponsoring and supporting this podcast. And

30:18

when we return, we'll get into your letters,

30:20

most of which are about you being pissed

30:22

off at my mispronunciation of

30:24

Marquesa. I should know it's Marquesa. I

30:26

watched Project Runway with the rest of

30:28

us. I said Marquesa,

30:31

but you know what I mean? Like

30:33

I'm stupid and white and I live

30:35

in an anglified country and it's

30:37

Marquesa. Of course it is. Some of you gently

30:39

corrected me. One particular woman was

30:41

super mad about it. I am horrified.

30:44

Very horrified. We'll be right

30:47

back. Here's

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31:39

Closer to get

31:41

started. Hello,

31:50

welcome back to telling everybody everything. I have to

31:52

tell you that if you are a fan of

31:54

podcasts and by listening to this podcast, I have

31:56

to assume that you are, I will

31:58

be appearing at the crossed wires podcast. Festival

32:00

in Sheffield. It is May

32:03

31st to June 2nd. So many

32:05

podcasts will be there. I know that there's

32:07

a huge push now towards going to see

32:09

your favorite podcast live. I think it's a

32:11

lot more fun in the room. It's just

32:13

like live anything. Live spoken words, live music,

32:16

live stand-up comedy. There's something extra to be

32:18

had from being in the room. If you

32:20

are not from the north, it's always nice

32:22

to take a weekend or even a day

32:24

trip up to the north of Sheffield. Get

32:26

yourself, I don't know what they have up

32:28

there, cheesy chips, pies, whatever

32:30

you fancy. Just see a new place. I've always

32:32

had such a nice time in Sheffield.

32:34

You would even enjoy having an

32:37

audience around you of Sheffieldians because

32:39

they are so fun and so

32:41

generous. Go bring your significant other.

32:43

Go there on a date. Oh my gosh, how nice would

32:45

it be? Instead of these usual

32:47

like coffee meetups, I wouldn't do a first

32:49

date, maybe a second date, third date with

32:51

someone that you are just starting to see

32:53

or even someone you've been married to for

32:56

too long. Too long. Get a

32:58

train ticket and pack a

33:00

little picnic and go on an adventure to

33:02

Sheffield. See your favorite podcast. Have a glass

33:04

of wine. Come back straight home on

33:06

the train. You don't have to spend the night. Ramesh and

33:08

Tom D will be there with Wilson Live. Katie

33:10

Price will be there on June 2nd at 6.30.

33:13

Oh no, don't even tell me

33:15

because I'm June 2nd. We better be at opposite.

33:17

Oh my god, June 2nd could be the best day of

33:19

your life. I'm on at 8.30 and Katie

33:21

Price is before me at 6.30 so I'll tell you where I'm gonna

33:23

be at Katie Price's podcast at 6.30

33:26

and then at my own podcast at

33:28

8.30 p.m. in Sheffield on June 2nd

33:31

at the Crossed Wires Podcast Festival. John

33:33

Ronson will be there. The Adam Buxton

33:35

podcast will be there. There's like a ghost one,

33:37

an art one. Ellis James and John Robbins,

33:40

did I already say that? Fresh

33:42

from their Times radio show, Jane Garvey and

33:44

Fee Glover. Keep the mics on,

33:46

grab a cuppa, say what they really think. Nick

33:49

Cope, a football podcast.

33:52

One about a brewery.

33:54

That'll be fun. See it

33:56

loads with the Naked podcast. Hang

33:58

on. join Jelly-

34:00

oh and I have a guest at my podcast

34:03

Emily Dean my good friend is coming with me

34:05

so I might stay the night fuck

34:07

this family okay

34:10

so some of you are pissed about Marchesa we've already been

34:12

through that but this is a great professional

34:15

opinion and a lot of help for the

34:17

listener who wrote in last week about their

34:19

child refusing to go to school because I

34:21

knew at the time that my advice wasn't

34:23

gonna help that much hopefully this does. Catherine

34:26

due to their SCN need autism

34:29

and ADHD pathway as mentioned you

34:31

need to contact the schools send

34:33

DCO to create a plan it

34:35

sounds like your child has emotional

34:38

based school avoidance likely due to

34:40

their pathological demand avoidance there

34:42

is a PDA society a quick Google will

34:45

help you find this and you can seek

34:47

advice there PDA is a common part of

34:49

autism not saying all kids with PDA

34:53

pathological demand avoidance have

34:55

autism but kids

34:57

with PDA need some choices so this

34:59

is something that I've even been influenced

35:02

my socials try to tell me all the time that I have

35:04

autism and so do some of the listeners but I mean

35:07

the overall consensus is I don't it's

35:10

where you don't you can't be told

35:12

to do something so even if you

35:15

want to do it even if you know it's reasonable

35:17

if someone if a human tells you to do it

35:19

you're like oh like your PDA will

35:21

not allow you to do it so you

35:23

can circumvent this different ways and

35:26

it does sound like maybe this would really help so

35:29

the school could offer a flexible timetable where

35:31

subjects are RAG red amber green rated the

35:33

student can choose not to go to the

35:35

lessons that are read ie I hate that

35:38

lesson but sometimes go to the amber and

35:40

always go to the green the green can

35:42

be the lessons they love giving the child

35:44

choice and involvement appeases their need to be

35:47

in control I think

35:49

there are a lot of people who just

35:51

can't be managed and your child could become

35:53

a CEO taking

35:56

away human demand and putting in place

35:58

non-human demand could work too For example,

36:00

don't be the one saying, get ready for

36:02

school, let's go now, use clocks and alarms.

36:05

If you can achieve a flexible or part-time

36:07

school timetable in this way, it will help

36:10

and you can build up from non-attendance to part

36:12

and maybe in time full attendance if that's

36:14

your goal. If your child does

36:16

not already have an SCN support plan in

36:18

place at school, this needs to happen. It's

36:20

a plan providing support for the SCN needs

36:23

and classroom assistance for your child. It's

36:25

reviewed typically each term, it can be flexible and

36:27

it can change. If this is

36:29

already in place for your child, then it needs

36:31

changing because it's clearly not working. If

36:34

the school and home are really

36:36

a struggle, then perhaps discuss an

36:38

EHCP, Education Healthcare Plan. Some

36:40

can include an allowance for home-based tutors during the school

36:42

day. So this could also work if you're able to

36:44

work from home too. I hope this helps. And

36:47

then other fans have fans. Joanne calls them

36:49

fans, I call them listeners. A

36:52

lot of people hate listen to this podcast. So

36:55

I don't want to offend them. I love the haters as much as

36:57

the fans. They have

36:59

suggested Dr. Tony Atwood and Eliza

37:01

Fricker, who are on socials

37:03

and who often chime in on this exact matter.

37:06

Thank you Joanne. Oh

37:08

Lord, this is a blast from the past.

37:12

Got me hot. There's a listener who wrote

37:14

in about a year ago about her

37:16

boyfriend not featuring her on any

37:18

of his socials. And

37:21

my advice at that time was

37:23

maybe he felt overexposed in his last

37:25

relationship and he regrets posting that relationship too

37:28

much or plain and simple, trust your gut,

37:30

this man's keeping his options open. And it

37:32

turns out I was wrong, right? What do

37:34

you think? I was right.

37:36

She's back with an update. Joanne, I'm

37:38

a student. She's French. I'm a student. Intuition.

37:41

Intuition. There

37:45

are certain words that she's never taught me when

37:47

I was a kid. It's

37:49

intuition basically if you didn't guess. Intuition.

37:53

Oh, I'm so Canadian. Intuition.

37:56

You're right. the

38:00

go. We are done, but I wish that I hadn't

38:02

wasted time with him and gone with my gut

38:04

like you originally suggested. Let this be a lesson

38:06

to us all that when

38:09

you go with your gut and it's taken me most of

38:11

my life, but now like

38:14

I had to make a very

38:16

difficult professional decision over the last

38:18

little while and I

38:21

was thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking around it and I

38:23

was getting quite stuck and I just didn't know what

38:25

to do. And at the end of

38:27

the day, I just had to listen

38:31

quietly to my gut and

38:33

go, okay, like this is

38:35

not a perfect result. You

38:38

didn't want this result. Ideally,

38:40

you would never have come to this result,

38:42

but circumstances have led you to here and

38:44

you just have to go with it and

38:46

give it a try. And the reason

38:49

that men are often more successful in

38:51

business is because they are less

38:53

risk averse generally speaking

38:55

than women are. I have

38:57

to have a tough conversation with myself. I'm like,

39:00

Catherine, you want to be financially successful. You want

39:02

to have a successful career. You want to be

39:04

the director of your company. You want to act

39:06

like a CEO. Well, there's no crying

39:08

and there's no being in your feelings about stuff

39:10

like this. You have to

39:12

do the hard jobs to step up to

39:14

the plate and make the professional decisions with

39:16

your gut confidently that you

39:19

might otherwise not feel great about.

39:22

And the same goes for your relationships. If

39:25

you're at a loss, your gut knows the

39:28

body keeps score. Pushing

39:31

religion in the workplace. I

39:34

was considering titling this

39:36

workplace missionary, but I worried you'd

39:38

get the wrong idea. Catherine, a colleague with

39:40

whom I've always got on has started

39:42

pushing religion into our in-person conversations and

39:45

I'm uncomfortable in the past. She'd mentioned

39:47

events at her church, which was never

39:49

awkward because she was just talking about

39:51

it as a social thing she enjoyed.

39:53

But suddenly she's been turning anything into

39:55

a monologue about Christ. And

39:58

She's been quite forceful about being that the only. Acceptable

40:00

path. It's not that I'm not spiritual,

40:02

but I do not agree with pushing

40:04

people to engage with ideology they have

40:06

not opted into or sang. other religions

40:08

are wrong, and it is so obviously

40:10

inappropriate at work. It baffles me why

40:12

she thinks it's worth it. A change

40:14

the subject and metered. Just try harder

40:16

and then she's brought it up again

40:18

later. How do I shut this down?

40:22

Ah, God. It

40:24

is a risk isn't it to be doing something

40:26

that you know is an Hr. Violations at

40:29

work but when. People

40:31

find Christ in the way that this woman

40:33

has. They are spreading the good news you.

40:35

I mean they want you to be a

40:37

wife and mother. They. Want you to

40:39

know God. The Way baby, when

40:41

they think that they're saving you, this

40:43

is why I always has He: no,

40:46

Compassion. And and patience for

40:48

people who are even picketing outside

40:50

abortion clinics. Like those people believe

40:52

that babies are being. Murdered.

40:54

Inside those people believe.

40:57

That if they're. Intimidating you in stopping

40:59

you from going in that they are

41:01

saving your life and your baby's life

41:03

and they're giving you access to the

41:05

kingdom of Heaven like their intentions are

41:07

usually good. With. Ago

41:09

but at the runway and. This.

41:12

Lady at work. I mean it

41:14

depends on how much you can take. I've

41:16

got a friends who loves Donald Trump a

41:18

lot. And God a

41:20

lot. And. Ah,

41:22

most things that she talks. About

41:24

and I just think it's part of her time on like

41:26

me up there she goes talking about that thing. Yep, Yep,

41:28

yep, I don't are ya? I'm like yeah, I

41:31

mean, it may be interesting. I liked people

41:33

who are bit cookie that like if I had someone.

41:35

I mean I think that it's her as at a

41:37

bus stop. And. there was this jehovah's

41:39

witness man in my neighborhood who would always

41:41

be giving pamphlets out and he would speak

41:43

to me in below you have a child

41:46

you have a child i have my small

41:48

violet at the time and i suggest you

41:50

have children i would engage with how many

41:52

be like oh god's children are my children

41:54

i've he talked like some nonsense about children

41:56

and then at the bus that one day

41:59

i saw ah lesbian woman Getting

42:02

a bit aggressive with him being like don't give me that I

42:04

don't want that and he was trying to give her a pamphlet

42:06

he was like well, I'm just trying to save you and I

42:10

stepped in because I'm someone who always steps in And

42:13

I'm so glad I'm not a man. I've been punched in the

42:15

face a lot and I said leave her alone

42:17

and he said well, I'm

42:19

just and I She

42:21

said I forget how it went down but

42:24

at the end of it I said she's

42:26

not giving you literature on becoming a lesbian

42:28

She's not trying to give you a pamphlet

42:30

on being lesbian. She's not trying to ram

42:33

her ideology down your throat So get away from her

42:35

and leave her alone and she

42:37

was like, yeah Maybe I should walk around with

42:39

pamphlets on becoming lesbian and that is a that

42:41

is an initiative that I would support But

42:44

um, you can either say to this woman

42:46

look, I'm really uncomfortable talking about religion this

42:49

much at work I've been clear to you

42:51

where I stand on it. I'm so happy

42:53

for you that you're excited about your relationship

42:55

with God But I'm sick of listening to

42:57

it Failing that you

42:59

go to HR really easily and be

43:01

like this person's ideology is being rammed

43:03

on my throat Or you can take the

43:05

Catherine Ryan way out and really lean into it and

43:08

be like great news God

43:11

spoke to me in the night and he

43:13

said that I mean to erect a church in

43:15

his image Like just go in with her. I that's

43:17

what I would do because what the fuck do you

43:19

do for work? That's more exciting than this woman banging

43:22

on about her relationship with God. I would

43:25

love it and Every time

43:27

she's like you gotta come be like I know but

43:29

you know, my relationship with God is this and that

43:31

I can't make It on Tuesday, but I'm with you

43:33

Marcia. Tell me more Afterthoughts

43:37

on children's name Catherine, I love

43:39

you and the pod when you

43:42

announced Fenna's name I was immediately

43:44

obsessed you have excellent taste

43:46

baby names included. Thank you. I'm

43:48

obsessed with Fenna's name I think is the most

43:50

beautiful name in the world if I was called

43:52

Fenna Fenna grace Like She already

43:54

sounds like a celeb. not that anyone wants

43:57

to be a celeb, but it's a beautiful.

44:00

The name but it also simple. I

44:02

like the letters, I like the letter

44:04

S I like a double and I

44:06

I I like the way it looks

44:08

like to it's written a like the

44:10

way it sounds like the fact that

44:12

it has history. As an old Friesian

44:15

Dutch name it's like Germanic. I love

44:17

it. Santa Grace Center and people struggle

44:19

with it and people don't like it

44:21

and those people can suck a fat

44:23

dick. I live in

44:26

America. I've never come across the name center

44:28

before in my late twenties, and Turner. Look

44:30

into starting to have children with my partner the next

44:32

year or so or got his the. Harrison. But

44:35

for a fact now. That

44:37

has been some time. How do you feel about

44:39

fan is named? You have any regrets To people

44:41

Miss Prowse often. I love the name is definitely

44:43

a top contender should we have a girl. We

44:45

live in N Y C area for know and

44:48

typically bats an eye at a less common name,

44:50

but I wanted to see what it's been like

44:52

for you. You.

44:54

Come back the fuck up right now Because part of

44:56

why like Senate is no one is named Cena and

44:58

I want your New York baby mean call center. Get.

45:02

Your own name. I'm not

45:04

trying to make Cena catch on. And.

45:06

You know other people have messaged me be

45:09

like we're naming rb be sent us the

45:11

fuck you are. Get your own name. I

45:14

don't mind really. I want you to have to

45:16

Way. But I were baby

45:18

on your feet of can be so close in

45:21

age to Santa I want her to the in

45:23

a rich I if I have another. Baby! I

45:25

already know the names girl and boy and I'm

45:27

not sharing as if you either cause they are

45:29

site. They. Are so tight! The boy

45:31

name is even more controversial and the girl

45:34

named but again they are both very Dutch

45:36

name's. Extremely

45:38

Literally. And they are awesome. I

45:40

don't have any regrets, but like

45:42

you might, I don't know if

45:44

you're the kind of person. Who.

45:47

Cares what the fuck people think though?

45:49

because I really am not so. It's

45:52

so. Far Center does not have to

45:55

be in the workforce. or go to school

45:57

or have her name is pronounced that often

45:59

to her face I'm the one

46:01

that's often dealing with people being like, Fana? Fanny?

46:04

Fana? Doesn't bother

46:06

me though. I go, no, jackass.

46:08

Fana. Like Jenna. But

46:11

it's Fana. And we

46:13

know how to pronounce, you know, this is

46:15

something that a lot of non-white people contend

46:17

with all the time. Shaquillas

46:21

and like any name that, especially these Nigerian

46:23

names, they look exactly how they're spelled. They

46:26

sound exactly as you read them, but people

46:28

still, British people panic when they see any

46:30

name they don't know. And

46:33

it's like we learned how to say Tchaikovsky. So

46:35

people will learn how to say Fana. I'm not

46:37

really worried about it. I think it is the

46:39

best decision I've ever made in my life naming

46:42

her Fana. I love Violet's

46:44

name. I love Fred's name. I am really

46:46

good at naming babies. So

46:48

come to me with like your

46:50

likes and dislikes and I will suggest a baby

46:52

name to you. Names like Fana,

46:54

interestingly, I put that into a little baby

46:57

name calculator and it came back with Violet.

47:00

Is apparently a name like Fana. And Willow

47:02

is a name like Fana. But take Fana

47:04

if you have to take Fana. But just

47:06

know that I'm a little bit, a

47:09

little bit... I'll get over

47:11

it. Constant sexual

47:13

thoughts about one of the hobbits has replaced

47:15

my sex life. Joanne, can you please stop

47:17

writing into the podcast your damn self? Do

47:19

you know what Joanne wrote into this podcast?

47:21

And I didn't even write, read the letter

47:23

a couple weeks ago because it was too

47:25

stupid. And then she

47:28

messaged me. She's like, I'm dealing with this problem I wrote to

47:30

the podcast, but you didn't do the letter. I'm like, yeah, because

47:32

it sucked. This sounds

47:34

like Joanne again. I

47:38

decided on celibacy during COVID. Well,

47:40

that's not Joanne then. Not only

47:42

to protect my health, but after several failed

47:44

relationships, I didn't want to deal with the

47:46

drag of trying to date. I

47:48

have been celibate ever since. However, an

47:51

interesting thing has cropped up and I'm

47:53

not sure it's healthy or not. I

47:55

started having what my psychiatrist calls

47:57

intrusive thoughts, usually sexual.

48:00

I've got my favorite actor, Dominic

48:02

Monaghan. I have no interest in

48:04

meeting him, as he and I would never cross paths in

48:06

real life. That never needs to

48:09

change, but I find that my mind handles

48:11

this at odd times, such as while I'm

48:13

shopping or driving. I stay on task, but

48:15

if it happens when I'm alone at home,

48:17

I just let those thoughts wash over me,

48:20

and sometimes the thoughts alone are more satisfying

48:22

than sex. Is this bad?

48:24

I still don't want to date, but I do wonder

48:26

if it will become a problem, or if I should

48:28

just go with it. What do you think?

48:30

Who the hell is Dominic Monaghan? See, I'm not

48:32

like in the life of Hobbits. Dominic Monaghan. Oh,

48:35

he's British and Irish.

48:39

I mean,

48:43

okay, I know who that is. Wow.

48:46

Uh, huh? Okay, dopes. He's

48:48

47. He

48:53

played as Hobbit, I guess,

48:55

in Peter Jackson's film trilogy, The Lord of the

48:57

Rings, which I've never seen. He's

48:59

with Evangeline Lilly for three years. And

49:02

um, okay. Well,

49:05

why can't you just meet this guy and fuck

49:07

him? I feel like you could. But

49:10

I'm not a therapist. Look, there have

49:13

been a lot more

49:15

perverse sexual objectifications

49:17

and intrusive thoughts than this thing

49:19

about the Hobbit. I don't

49:22

know the movie well enough to know what he did for

49:24

you in that movie. Okay, I

49:26

found an online article that ranks the

49:28

Hobbits in order of sexiness. Bilbo

49:30

Baggins comes in number seven. This Hobbit

49:33

has quiet courage and an endearing earnestness.

49:35

His intelligent wit and resilience make him

49:37

more than just a burglar of the

49:39

group. His unexpected bravery in

49:42

the face of danger and his compassion

49:44

for others make him incredibly appealing. He

49:46

also has impeccable manners and sparkling blue

49:49

eyes. He brings a different kind of

49:51

sexy charm to the mixed. Number

49:53

six, Philea. Philea? He's

49:56

a dashing young dwarf whose golden hair

49:58

and adventurous spirit set her racing.

50:00

As Thorin's nephew and heir to the

50:02

throne of Erebor, he's got the striking

50:04

blue eyes. Talk about captivating. Do you

50:06

know, I feel like Hobbits are a little bit

50:09

Nazi, although why

50:11

do they all have blue eyes? Bard

50:13

epitomizes smoldering charm. His loyalty to

50:16

his family and dedication to protecting

50:18

people make him even more attractive.

50:20

Bard proves that being a hero

50:22

is the ultimate sign of sexiness.

50:25

Alright. Thorin Oakenshield.

50:28

Who says the dwarves and Middle-earth aren't hot?

50:31

With his piercing eyes, flowing mane, and

50:33

unshakable determination, Thorin is the hottest dwarf

50:35

in the realm. Underneath his devilishly handsome

50:38

and gruff exterior, Thorin's presence is simply

50:40

magnetic and a hint of vulnerability makes

50:42

him all the more intriguing. Thran

50:44

duo. Here's the bad news. Your guy doesn't

50:47

even make the top seven. But

50:49

this one is again blonde.

50:52

He's got thirsty edits on TikTok. He's got

50:54

icy gaze and calm authority that's both

50:56

intimidating and captivating. His elegant robes and

50:58

commanding presence make him a standout, whether

51:00

it's on the battlefield or just staring

51:02

at you. He's that hot.

51:06

Nerd alert. What

51:09

the fuck? Okay,

51:12

I have found this about your Hobbit.

51:14

He played Mary Brandeberg.

51:17

He had a good personality,

51:19

warm-hearted, and naively brave. Seriously,

51:22

Mary was a badass. He doesn't get the recognition

51:24

he deserved, and the movie only makes things worse.

51:26

He was the first Hobbit in the Shire to

51:29

learn about Bilbo possessing the ring, and he did

51:31

a great deal of planning before Frodo left the

51:33

Shire with the ring. Mary

51:35

went for a walk, and he wasn't so fond

51:38

of loud drunken shenanigans, and he was the first

51:40

to learn of a Nazgul's presence. He

51:43

helped kill the Witch-King. He

51:46

is by far the most organized, knowledgeable,

51:48

level-headed, intelligent of the Hobbits. His

51:50

character is very serious, and it's

51:52

unfortunate that the movie has kind

51:55

of killed his reputation. So

51:57

maybe what you are doing with this

52:00

is practicing sort

52:02

of doing a rehearsal for the kind of partner that

52:04

you really want in real life. And

52:07

your mind is just doing a little

52:09

dress rehearsal for that and I think

52:11

that the qualities like

52:15

embodied by this hobbit are

52:17

admirable qualities in a partner

52:19

and I think that you

52:21

are wise to fancy these hobbits

52:24

instead of like mmm, nfl tickers. Every

52:31

episode is a new adventure and

52:33

I'm really glad that we could

52:35

set some time aside today to

52:37

indulge the sexual hobbit fantasies

52:39

that a lot of us might be having.

52:42

And you know what? When we have Harrison

52:45

Butker and who knows whom else

52:47

out there banging on

52:49

about what femininity means and

52:51

what masculinity means and what

52:53

is desirable in

52:55

a traditional relationship, these

52:58

studios, they're not stupid, like they have

53:00

got it right. Writing these hobbit

53:02

characters the way they have, they're

53:05

like beta males who have a secret understated

53:09

alphaness to them, they sound incredibly masculine

53:11

to me. They sound to me like

53:15

really reliable, hot

53:18

characters that all of us should really use to

53:20

form our ideas of what men we

53:22

should be attracted to in real life. So I mean,

53:24

you have just created a Lord of the Rings fan

53:26

in me, young lady. And

53:28

I will be exploring dwarves and hobbits

53:31

a lot more in my own sexual fantasies and

53:33

maybe you can too. So once again, I hope

53:35

to see you at the Crossed Wires Podcast Festival.

53:38

Podcast Festival in Sheffield, May

53:41

31st to June 2nd, they'll be there on June 2nd at 8 30

53:43

p.m. Doing it

53:45

live, telling everybody everything with my great

53:47

friend Emily Dean as my guest. You

53:50

can submit questions to the podcast for the festival

53:52

if you can't be there in real life but

53:54

I'll also be taking some questions in real life

53:56

at the festival, I'll get to meet you, bring

53:58

your book. And don't go to my

54:01

show right now. A few people have turned up to

54:03

venues a year early. My tour does

54:05

not start until September. Thank you.

54:08

I love you. See you next week. Hey

54:14

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54:16

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