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Welcome to . It's the Human Experience

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Podcast Hosted by

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Hazel Brown , a healthcare leader , wife

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, mom and career coach

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. If you're big on authenticity

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and transparency , you're

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and glow .

1:13

Hey , hey , hey , you are now tuned into the . It's

1:15

the Human Experience podcast . I'm your host

1:17

, Hazel Brown . Today I have Rhonda Wynn on

1:19

the podcast . Listen , we're going to jump

1:21

into all things . We're talking self-worth

1:24

, removing self-doubt , aligning

1:27

yourself , positioning yourself to great opportunities

1:30

, because you're deserving of them . Hey

1:32

, Rhonda , welcome to the podcast .

1:34

Hey , girl . Hey , thank you so much for having

1:36

me . I'm so excited . This is one of my favorite

1:38

topics . I love talking about this journey

1:40

.

1:41

Yay , Listen , I'm excited for

1:43

it . Before we jump into the conversation

1:45

, listen . Tell the people who is Rhonda

1:48

.

1:49

Okay , Well , my name is Rhonda Nguyen . I

1:51

am an empowerment coach and

1:53

a learning and development specialist . My motto

1:55

is live your best life in real

1:57

life . So what I do is I teach

2:00

corporate professionals and women

2:02

in general how to use simple

2:04

strategies to make a huge impact

2:06

and move the needle in their life .

2:09

I love it . I love it and I think

2:11

that , like online , it says Rhonda in real

2:13

life because , listen , we got to be Rhonda in

2:15

real life . We're not just out here in these social

2:17

media streets pretending to be who we're not . We are

2:19

living our life online

2:22

in person and all the things . So

2:24

I'm so here for it . Yes , thank

2:26

you . Listen , I

2:28

wanted to really unfold like some

2:30

of the layers as we kind of get to the

2:32

place where you are able to be Rhonda

2:34

in real life . Let's start there , like

2:36

what was the journey that you had

2:39

to go on when it comes to removing

2:41

self-doubt out of the picture , like turning

2:44

that sound down , if you will , and

2:46

putting the sound up on self-worth

2:48

and making sure that you are able

2:50

to become the person you know you're deserving

2:53

of becoming .

2:55

I think the beginning of my journey

2:57

started with therapy . I had

2:59

to face the narrative

3:02

that had been created in

3:04

, you know , in my head , based on my surroundings

3:07

, about who I am and what

3:09

I deserve . You know , you grow up and

3:11

our circumstances , our life situation

3:14

, will cause us to believe certain

3:16

things about ourselves , and these are things that could

3:18

have been , you know , told to us by our parents

3:20

or friends or certain situations . So I

3:22

think for me , the journey started

3:25

with facing

3:27

who I thought I was and

3:29

why did I believe these things about myself

3:31

? So I had to go really really deep , really all the

3:34

way back to childhood , and really kind

3:36

of face those I'm

3:38

hard to love or

3:41

I'm difficult , or people always

3:43

leave . I had evidence

3:45

that I did not deserve

3:48

the best . In my mind , this

3:50

was evident . So I had to go back and kind of

3:52

re-evaluate what I

3:54

believe to be evidence about my work

3:56

.

3:57

Yeah , I love that . I love that so much

3:59

because many of us to your point

4:01

. It's not just your inner critic

4:03

, it's also childhood triggers

4:06

and trauma and things that were said to you

4:08

, whether it's in the home , it's at

4:10

school , it's in the neighborhood or whatever

4:12

the case may be that we start to

4:14

own . And I think it's so important

4:17

that you pointed that out to where it's like go

4:19

back , go deep , go low , go wherever

4:22

you got to go , but figure out what

4:24

you are saying about yourself to yourself

4:26

, so that you could then start to face

4:29

it Right . Even when you think about therapy

4:31

, we can't know what to bring

4:33

to therapy if we don't go

4:35

low and if we don't go deep . So I love

4:38

that you shared . Like that you were able to go

4:40

back and really figure out , like what

4:42

do I really think about myself ? Like what

4:44

is it about me that's showing up in the world

4:46

? And then to your point yeah

4:49

, I see some receipts about these things , but

4:51

how can I hold myself accountable to

4:53

make changes where necessary and

4:55

to own the parts of me that

4:58

I possibly and I'm speaking for you , but

5:00

I possibly look at it as a negative

5:02

, but maybe it's nothing wrong with it , right . Maybe

5:05

this is what makes Rhonda Rhonda .

5:07

Absolutely and embracing it . It's a

5:09

process to understand

5:11

, you know , how our defense

5:14

mechanisms have become a part

5:16

of our identity and then to have

5:18

that identity shift . I know for me

5:20

, growing up

5:22

I was bullied severely

5:25

for being quote unquote

5:27

different . I

5:29

grew up as a military brat and

5:31

then my parents got divorced when I was eight years old

5:33

and moving from , you know , military

5:35

life to civilian life is , you know , an adjustment

5:38

and traumatic in itself . But then moving from

5:40

suburban civilian life

5:42

to , you know , inner city divorcee

5:45

, child with divorcee , it

5:47

was a culture shock and I wasn't prepared

5:49

for that . I only knew how

5:51

to be me in the

5:54

settings that I was familiar with . So

5:56

moving to a new city

5:58

, being the weird kid and

6:01

getting bullied and not understanding why kid

6:03

and getting bullied and not understanding why , the narrative was just that . You know

6:05

I'm weird , I'm

6:07

misunderstood and

6:15

I didn't have the emotional maturity to understand that . It wasn't me . I was

6:17

just in a culture that I didn't understand

6:19

and didn't know how to adapt

6:21

to and it took , you know , decades

6:24

to kind of get some crystal clarity under

6:27

. It's not that people don't

6:29

like you or that you're weird

6:31

. You're just in an environment

6:33

that isn't best suited for your

6:35

personality based on a number of things

6:37

.

6:39

Yeah , I love that . I love that you

6:41

brought it really to the level of the reality

6:43

where people would easily resonate and understand

6:45

what you're saying . From the perspective of that

6:48

, it can literally be that you're raised

6:50

in one area of the world in

6:52

the way that you were brought up and

6:54

the way that you're wired , based on even

6:57

thinking about from a young age of eight

6:59

and under . We're programmed well before that in

7:01

terms of like who we are and how we're going to show

7:03

up , and so when you think about that

7:05

, then moving you to another place

7:07

in the world , another way of life

7:09

, it becomes like a shock to

7:11

your point . But you

7:14

truly stand out to everyone else

7:16

because they weren't raised that way , they

7:18

don't see things from that perspective . And so then

7:20

you're like what's wrong with me ? And it's interesting

7:23

that nothing would have been wrong with you if you were

7:25

still in the same space . But

7:27

because you're in a new space , you stand

7:29

out and I think the crazy part

7:31

there in terms of like the gems is

7:33

that actually made you more well-rounded

7:36

over time because you were able to see things from

7:38

different lens , where in the moment

7:40

it just feels like child , bring me back to that other

7:42

space Like why is it like this ? And

7:44

I feel like people can resonate to that on so many

7:47

different levels , not just from a moving

7:49

perspective or not

7:51

fitting in perspective , but understanding

7:53

that sometimes you're in a different season of your life

7:56

and it will feel like what's going on here ? But

7:58

it's that lack of familiarity to what's

8:00

going on in your current state . But it

8:02

doesn't mean that you necessarily need to give

8:04

up or feel like I can't do it

8:07

. You just need to realize it's different and kind

8:09

of get low to the point of what you said before so

8:11

that you could better understand where you are and be able

8:13

to move through it . So I love that . Yeah

8:16

, listen

8:18

, I know that you are big on

8:20

really aligning

8:22

yourself to what feels

8:24

right to you from a self-worth

8:27

perspective , like we've gone through the things

8:29

we've done , the therapy , we've gotten

8:31

low and now I know my worth , I know

8:33

I embrace my being different . Now

8:35

I'm unapologetic about who I am

8:37

. So what have you had to do

8:39

to cultivate like the right kind of

8:41

community , the right kind of

8:43

positivity in your life to

8:46

hold space for who you are

8:48

?

8:48

A lot . It's a lot of work and I

8:50

think it's joyous work , but

8:53

I think that people

8:55

don't understand when you are

8:57

stepping into your

8:59

identity of a person who

9:01

is in a place of self-love

9:03

and self-worth and self-value and understanding

9:06

boundaries , curating

9:09

a community . It starts , it's

9:12

a job , it's every day . I mean it starts from the

9:14

content you consume to

9:16

the events that you attend , to how

9:18

much you invest in yourself , the

9:23

events that you attend , to how much you invest in yourself . So me personally , I mean I really

9:25

had to go through a reinvention of sorts because

9:27

, like I said , I had this narrative that

9:30

I'm hard to love and

9:32

I misunderstood and you

9:34

know people don't like me because

9:36

they don't understand me and

9:38

I really had to take a look at

9:41

the type of people that

9:43

I was surrounding myself with

9:45

and take

9:48

some accountability for

9:50

the relationships in the community

9:53

or lack thereof . Because , as a

9:55

defense mechanism previously , before

9:57

my self-love journey , I was putting myself

9:59

in spaces that

10:02

I thought would be easier

10:04

to fit in . You know , I'm trying to fit

10:06

in , I'm trying to be normal , I'm trying to be like everyone

10:08

else . So I was putting myself in spaces

10:11

where a lot of people

10:13

had not faced their trauma . They were in

10:15

not a place of feeling , not

10:17

in a place of high emotional intelligence

10:19

, and I ended up getting burned

10:22

because I was choosing people that

10:24

I deemed to be non-threatening

10:26

instead of actually seeking

10:29

out community of people who

10:31

had similar values . So

10:33

when I went on my self-love journey

10:35

, I really had to identify my core

10:37

values and say , okay , if

10:39

my core values are what's

10:42

getting me judged , necessarily

10:44

, or what's making people misunderstand

10:47

, where are the people that

10:49

share these core values ? So if the core

10:51

value is being extroverted

10:53

, if the core value is luxury

10:57

, if the core value is family

11:00

self-care , I really

11:02

had to do a deep dive and say

11:04

, okay , if these are the people

11:07

that relate to me , where

11:09

are they and how can I surround

11:12

myself with those people ? So I started attending

11:14

events , events such as your

11:16

event . I invested

11:19

in a high-end spa , I started

11:21

traveling and just really

11:23

curating my social media , using

11:26

social media as a way to find

11:28

that community , without feeling

11:30

intimidated or

11:32

worried that I wasn't

11:34

going to fit in .

11:36

Yeah , I love that you really

11:38

kind of share the road

11:40

that you had to take to really

11:42

get there and

11:49

I think that's so important to call out . And so , yes , Rhonda has come

11:51

to previous events and she will be at upcoming events , both as a panelist and

11:53

an attendee and all the things right . But , to

11:55

your point , I think it's so important that we

11:57

find those spaces and really

12:00

identify our core values

12:02

in order to be able to feel

12:04

so indifferent from everyone

12:06

else from the perspective of having that

12:09

community . And , like you , I've definitely

12:11

gone on the journey in terms of figuring

12:13

out who I am , embracing who

12:15

I am and honoring who I am

12:18

, because I've recognized that I'm

12:20

not for everybody , but everybody

12:22

that is for me will get the poor

12:24

that they deserve . And what I had to

12:26

understand , particularly

12:29

for myself I'm a poor , I

12:31

am going to pour left , right and center

12:33

, I'm going to run your cup over , because

12:35

that's just how I am . But I started

12:38

to realize that in certain instances

12:40

, when you're around somebody who is a receiver

12:42

, and only a receiver , you're going to

12:44

always be depleted . So I had

12:46

to make sure that I started to , to

12:49

your point , think about values Like

12:51

I don't want to be around gatekeepers . I

12:53

don't want to be around people that is all

12:55

for self or selfish . I

12:57

don't want to be around people who don't reflect

12:59

and don't think about how they can hold themselves

13:01

accountable and what they can do to improve themselves

13:04

in terms of the decisions that they made . So

13:06

I have to find out what were

13:08

deal breakers for me , if

13:10

you will , non-negotiables , because

13:13

then I will not put myself in situations

13:15

to where I feel so different . Not because

13:17

we're not open to differences within

13:19

people , not because we're not open

13:21

to being more well-rounded in

13:24

associating ourselves with people

13:26

who have different values

13:28

from you . But in that moment you really

13:31

need to readily understand that

13:45

this is what I'm going to . So I

13:48

know I'm going to stand

13:50

out here . Things are going to be a little different

13:52

here , but for whatever those purposes are , the

13:54

importance is to make sure you know who

13:56

you are . That way you don't lose

13:58

who you are right , you don't feel to yourself

14:01

that , oh my goodness , like something

14:03

is wrong with me . You just recognize like I

14:05

know who I am , I know what's important , and

14:08

you're able to quickly cut and create

14:10

that boundary in those situations because you're like

14:12

OK , I see what's the problem , I see the red

14:14

flag , I know what it is and I'm

14:16

going to be able to move forward from there , so I love

14:18

that .

14:19

I think a big part of a self-worth journey

14:21

is learning how to

14:23

vet a situation

14:26

you know , really paying attention

14:28

to what your needs are

14:30

and what your expectations

14:32

are , and saying it's okay to have expectations

14:35

. I think a lot of people that struggle

14:37

with self-worth are like myself

14:40

. I'm a reformed people pleaser , so

14:50

I never set expectations for myself . What do I want ? What am I getting out of this ? What

14:52

do I expect ? It was just give , give , give , give , give and we don't give ourselves

14:54

the permission to receive . And

14:57

because we don't give ourselves permission to receive

14:59

, we're not really vetting situations

15:01

. We're not creating standards for

15:04

ourselves . We're just kind of taking whatever

15:06

is given to us because we don't

15:08

want to deal with abandonment

15:11

or conflict or getting hurt instead

15:13

of saying you know what ? Who all going

15:15

to be there ?

15:17

This is going to be worth my time Listen

15:19

it's going to be worth my time .

15:21

Is this something that is beneficial

15:24

to me of the self-worth journey

15:27

? Is understanding this is who I

15:43

am . This is what I bring to the table , this is what I

15:45

want for myself , and is this

15:47

aligned ?

15:48

with that , yeah , and holding

15:51

yourself honest , right when

15:53

it comes to those things . It's funny

15:55

because , as you're talking , like towards

15:57

the end , I started thinking through , like

15:59

how that showed up for me in my life

16:01

, to where , like over the years , to your point

16:03

of events , I've done events where now

16:05

I realize that I'm not willing to do events

16:07

, to where we're going to come and have small talk . I'm

16:10

not doing it . It has to provide

16:12

value , exactly . It has to

16:14

give people the breakthrough , it has to help them get

16:16

unstuck , stuck . If I'm not providing real

16:18

value and people are not getting a breakthrough and

16:21

they're not feeling a sense of feeling heard

16:23

, understood and valued , I'm not doing

16:25

it because it's not valuable to me

16:27

and I don't feel like it's providing them what they need

16:29

. And so , even from the perspective of

16:31

going to events , I have to understand too

16:34

that I'm not the kind of person that goes to an

16:36

event and say , hey , rhonda , how are

16:38

you , what's your name , where are you from , what

16:40

do you do , and

16:45

then by the end I just know everybody's name and what they do and where they're from and I've gotten

16:47

no value . I can't even attend it , let alone create it . So you have to know

16:49

what that looks like for you , because otherwise

16:52

you'll always feel depleted , you always feel

16:54

like what is wrong .

16:56

Right , no , I completely , completely

16:59

understand that . And allowing

17:01

yourself to be okay with

17:03

saying no , I

17:05

think that's one of the hardest things that people go

17:07

through on a self-worth journey

17:09

. I recently had a discussion

17:12

with someone and at

17:14

almost 50 years old , I've come just now

17:16

, come to the realization that you

17:18

don't have to accept an apology just

17:20

because it isn't . Realization

17:23

that you don't have to accept an apology just because it's given . And

17:25

we are taught that , as you know children , someone does something to you and the parents

17:27

like , oh well , say sorry . And then the person says I'm

17:29

sorry and it's considered swash

17:31

. And we grow up with this kind

17:33

of mindset that well , as long as someone

17:36

apologizes , everything's

17:38

okay . But when you go on this

17:40

self-worth journey and you understand that

17:42

I don't have to accept

17:45

a sorry just because you

17:47

said it , because saying sorry

17:49

and being sorry is two

17:51

different things and I don't think that we understand

17:53

that when we're not focused on

17:56

our , our work , you know . So someone

17:58

does something and we teach people

18:00

how to treat us based on how we treat ourselves

18:02

, and there's go , oh , I'm sorry , I'm

18:05

just not a place where I'm going to say you know

18:07

, I don't accept that apology

18:09

and it

18:11

took a long time to be able to not

18:13

, out of obligation , be like , oh , it's fine

18:16

, but it's not fine , because

18:18

when you say , oh , it's okay or

18:20

it's fine , that

18:22

speaks back to your self-worth . I

18:25

don't deserve nor a

18:28

lot

18:33

of apologies , aren't it's just as Americans

18:35

, we're trained to just apologize and

18:38

expect people to receive it . A

18:41

big part of my self-worth journey is learning that

18:43

I don't have to accept an apology

18:45

just because it's good .

18:48

Yeah , no , I love that , Listen , and

18:50

I know that you're a Leo too and the Leo in me , like

18:52

I will take your apology left , right and

18:54

center , but we are done and I've definitely

18:56

had to do that many times . Like , I appreciate

18:58

your apology , I appreciate us talking

19:00

through this , me and you , the

19:02

absolute best in life , but

19:05

we will never talk to each other again . Thank you and

19:07

goodbye . And it's good because

19:09

, to your point , you're creating boundaries

19:11

for yourself and you're creating that self-worth

19:14

for yourself and you deserve to be

19:16

myself in that situation . I'm setting

19:18

myself up for another

19:37

problem right down , you know

19:39

, further down the lane . So I love that .

19:42

And it goes back to your core values . I think

19:44

that it's very important

19:46

for each of us to understand that

19:48

we all have different values . You

19:50

know and when you can stand on business

19:52

and your core values , like that's why

19:54

my online name is Real Life by Rhonda

19:57

, because everyone that knows me

19:59

knows the Rhonda you get at work

20:01

. Is the Rhonda that you're getting at the conference . Is the

20:03

Rhonda that you're getting the coaching call ? Same Rhonda

20:05

you're getting at church and at home

20:09

. And when

20:11

I went on that self-worth journey

20:13

and I started looking at my core values

20:16

and I said , ok , if I'm being

20:18

honest , if I'm being authentic

20:21

, I have to learn to be OK

20:23

with boundaries that

20:26

are going to more

20:28

than likely hurt someone's feelings by

20:30

me being honest and

20:32

saying you know , this is how I feel about the

20:34

situation and there's really

20:36

no soft or . I'm not

20:39

going to say those are soft way , but sometimes , when you're

20:41

being authentic , feelings get hurt

20:43

and the hardest part of my self-worth journey

20:45

was to learn to be okay

20:47

with potentially hurting the

20:49

feelings of someone who is not

20:51

evolved or isn't healed yet

20:54

, for the greater good of how I feel

20:56

about myself .

20:57

Yeah , I love that . I

20:59

think that what comes up for me is trying

21:01

to better understand how you navigate

21:04

friendships , relationships

21:06

, partnerships and collaborations where

21:09

, maybe , to your point , that person's

21:11

not healed yet right , they

21:13

don't understand how to love in

21:15

the way that you need to be loved

21:17

. So how do you give grace in those

21:19

instances ?

21:20

So the way I navigate

21:23

. That is , I had to learn through therapy

21:25

that I'm

21:27

going to hurt people's feelings but I

21:30

still love them and they

21:32

may not understand the

21:34

difference between me

21:36

setting a boundary and saying no

21:38

. I had to be okay with

21:41

being looked at as being mean

21:43

to people that love me

21:45

, but understanding that

21:47

you know what it is , what it is . I'm

21:49

so sorry that you don't understand . Sorry

21:57

that you don't understand , and I equate it to like a parent and a child . You know we've all probably

21:59

had those experiences . As children we felt like our parents didn't love us

22:02

because they did something

22:04

that we didn't understand and it seemed very

22:06

mean . I know there were several times I threatened

22:08

to run away for a little bit of nothing Very

22:11

similar situations . You know we

22:14

know what's best for us , we know

22:16

what we need and we know that sometimes

22:18

our friends and our loved ones are

22:21

never going to understand this . So

22:24

there has to be a level of acceptance , just like

22:26

a parent accepts that you're

22:28

four years old , you don't understand

22:30

why you can't wear a tank top

22:33

and shorts in the snow , but I'm

22:35

not letting you do it and

22:37

I'm sorry if I'm the bad guy . I still love

22:39

you and understanding that when that

22:41

child says to that parent , I hate you

22:43

, that they don't really hate

22:45

you , they just don't understand . And

22:47

this is very similar . So when it's situations

22:50

where it's someone that you can't

22:52

really be with a long

22:54

handled spoon like a partner or

22:56

a parent , that level of

22:59

acceptance of this is

23:01

who this person is and I'm going to have

23:03

to have a fixed in and meet them where

23:05

they are because they are only

23:07

capable of so much . But I'm also

23:09

going to have to be okay with

23:11

setting the boundaries that possibly

23:14

more than likely going to hurt this person's feelings

23:16

because they don't understand . So

23:20

it's not easy and I think that a lot of people are

23:22

always looking for those kind of like soft , easy

23:24

ways to navigate those relationships . So when

23:26

you're dealing with people who are not

23:28

equally yoked emotionally

23:31

, it's always

23:33

going to be a blow .

23:35

Yeah , no , I love that , because I think , to

23:37

that end , if it's a family member

23:40

, if it is a loved one , whether

23:42

siblings , mother , father , whatever

23:44

the case may be , then it's going to have to

23:46

be you addressing and navigating

23:49

. How healed are they ? Not from

23:51

a judgy perspective , but from a perspective of , okay , I think

23:53

that their intention is good , but I'm going of . Okay , I think that their intention is

23:55

good , but I'm going to leave this alone . I'm

23:57

not going to expect this from this person and

24:00

I know that they love me in terms of their intention

24:02

, so I'm going to let them stay

24:04

where they are without cutting them off . But

24:06

when it comes to the point of , maybe friends and

24:08

people that you don't necessarily have to have in

24:10

your life , if it becomes a constant

24:13

thing to where your energy is being

24:15

depleted and you're constantly feeling

24:17

not your best self every time they're

24:19

around , then you have to enforce those

24:21

boundaries and , to your point , be that mean person

24:23

.

24:24

Absolutely . I always say that

24:26

everyone does not deserve the

24:28

VIP ticket to your life . When you think

24:31

about a concert and you think about people

24:33

who have front row and backstage

24:35

passes and all of those things . Those people put

24:37

in a lot of work . They were like Amex

24:40

platinum holders . They waited in line

24:42

on Ticketmaster for 24

24:44

hours ahead of time , they paid triple the

24:46

price so they have access

24:48

. But those folks that have

24:51

not met that standard sometimes you

24:53

have to reposition folks to the nosebleed section

24:55

of your life . Yeah .

24:57

No , for sure Not the nosebleed , but

25:01

I completely understand where you're coming from

25:03

. Listen , I also want to find out

25:06

, in terms of positioning yourself

25:08

to opportunities into places

25:10

that you know you're deserving of , when you think about

25:12

kind of feeling different , kind of feeling

25:15

like I know I deserve this life , I

25:17

know I'm called for this , I know I deserve

25:19

better , like , how do you position

25:21

yourself for the right opportunities

25:24

and to ensure that you're aligned with

25:26

the kind of life that makes sense for you ?

25:30

Definitely curating a social

25:32

circle that is aligned with

25:34

my core values . I do a lot

25:36

of research . Online Networking

25:38

is huge for me . You know , relationship

25:40

building . I position myself to make

25:43

sure that my name is being said in rooms

25:45

that I'm not in , and one of the best

25:47

ways to do that is to nurture

25:50

relationships with people of

25:52

similar values . So this is how we find

25:55

out about events that are exclusive

25:57

or , you know , becoming a plus

25:59

one at an event that you couldn't

26:01

get into because you nurtured that

26:03

relationship . In a nurturing relationship , the best

26:05

part of positioning is putting

26:08

yourself in a place to serve someone

26:10

who has a similar value . So

26:12

if you guys have similar mission , similar

26:15

goals , similar avatars , you know

26:17

and you are already in

26:19

a place where you can serve someone

26:21

who can help position , you take

26:23

the opportunity to do it . And I think a lot of people

26:25

miss the mark on this , because when

26:28

you are in

26:30

the beginning of your self-worth journey , you really

26:32

don't know what you have to offer . You

26:34

know they're like what do I have , what can I do ? Especially

26:37

if it's someone you're trying to level up and

26:39

there may be someone that you want to connect with

26:41

or someone who is in a position to elevate

26:44

you and you're not seeing yourself

26:46

as worthy . You're like

26:48

, well , what can I give this person ? But

26:50

you'd be surprised how ? Just offering

26:53

moral support , offering

26:55

a prayer , making an

26:57

introduction . So for me

27:00

, I've been able to position myself

27:02

and align myself with some amazing

27:04

A players just by offering

27:07

moral support , just by

27:09

saying , hey , you know what , I know someone

27:11

, I know a venue . If you need

27:13

this , sometimes something as simple

27:15

, as I noticed , you didn't have any reviews

27:19

on your website . Would

27:21

you like a Google review ? Or how

27:23

can I help further your mission

27:25

, further your goal the return

27:27

on that is amazing

27:29

. When it comes to aligning yourself with

27:32

the right people and the right mindset

27:34

and , most importantly , the right energy , yeah

27:36

, yeah , I love that .

27:38

I think that the reality is that we're

27:40

all people , at the end of the day , and we

27:42

all need help with something Right , and

27:44

then realizing that it's not all about what you

27:46

can receive , but how can you help . Because

27:48

I think that when we lead from a place of

27:50

serving , oftentimes not

27:53

everyone else is leading from that place . They're leading

27:55

from a place of what can you do for me as

27:57

opposed to what can I do for you , and

27:59

so it's different from people . Pleasing is from

28:01

the perspective of we have the same

28:04

values , we're trying to make the same impact

28:06

. How can I help you and how will

28:08

this benefit me ? Because I'm still not a fool

28:10

and within that , it's not from a place

28:12

of ulterior motives , it's from a place

28:14

of collaboration is going to help us get further

28:17

on our mission , from a sincere

28:19

place to where you're not over there , burnt

28:21

down in what you're doing , but we're actually able

28:23

to move together collectively and make

28:25

more impact . So I love that and

28:28

I think that , from the perspective of even

28:30

work , so many times , from being a people

28:32

pleaser at work , people will take

28:34

on whatever other people don't want

28:37

to do and then start talking

28:39

through the fact that they can't get a promotion

28:41

because , girl , you're doing busy work

28:43

, you're not doing what the people are

28:45

really trying to solve high level problems on

28:48

. So when you think about positioning

28:50

yourself from like a nine to five perspective

28:52

, it's also important to make sure you

28:54

understand , like , what are the company's pain

28:56

points in the same space of growing

28:59

yourself on your entrepreneurial journey . What

29:01

are these people's pain points ? What

29:03

strengths do you have ? That's going

29:05

to help put out some fires in your nine

29:07

to five world , in your entrepreneurial world , in

29:10

your day-to-day community world , and

29:12

then that's what's going to help strengthen

29:14

the toolbox , if you will . That's going

29:16

to help sharpen each other when it comes

29:18

to iron , sharpens iron . And

29:21

so I love that you're able to point that out , because

29:23

sometimes , when we think about

29:25

our ability to get to where we're

29:27

trying to go , it's so much clearer

29:29

than we think it is . It's simply

29:31

what are your strengths , who are you , what

29:34

are you owning , what are you not owning and

29:36

who needs what I have and

29:38

what is it that they're weak in but I'm sharp

29:40

in ? And simply doing that alignment

29:42

in terms of putting the puzzle together , often

29:45

helps make life so much easier

29:47

for everybody .

29:49

It does and it helps to

29:51

strengthen your sense of self-worth

29:53

when you look at your strengths and you look

29:55

at your values and you look for

29:57

solutions to other people's

29:59

problems just through those

30:01

strengths and values . I know

30:03

I'm a public speaker and I understand

30:06

that the majority of people that's their biggest

30:08

fear in the world is being the speaker

30:11

. I am not great with technology . That is not great with technology . That

30:13

is not my strong point . I would tell people

30:15

all day long please do not send me

30:17

an Excel spreadsheet and expect anything

30:19

, but if you need someone

30:22

to deliver the message or be

30:24

the bad guy or whatever , this

30:27

is something that I'm comfortable doing . So

30:29

I think for positioning at work

30:31

, one of the best things you can do is know

30:33

your value , know your strength and

30:36

apply it . When there is a

30:38

solution to a problem , you look for those

30:40

opportunities to solve those problems

30:42

through your core strengths . It fills

30:44

your cup and you understand like

30:47

I am valuable , Like

30:49

I deserve everything that's coming

30:51

to me , because I'm bringing something to the

30:53

table that no one else has .

30:56

Yeah , absolutely . And when we

30:58

think about just even the positioning

31:00

part , I just want to circle back and repoint

31:02

out make sure that you're speaking to the

31:04

right people , because sometimes

31:06

we'll lend our solutions to people who are

31:08

not decision makers , can't do

31:10

anything in the fight , and then we

31:12

wonder why we're not where we need to be . You're

31:14

talking to the wrong people . So make

31:16

sure that you're talking to the right people . Be

31:19

observant and understanding who are

31:21

really the doers and movers , whose voice

31:23

is really heard , and then , with those

31:26

people , you're making sure that you're the solution

31:28

in those situations . But don't share

31:30

those ideas with any and everybody . They'll just take

31:32

your ideas and you'll be right where you were when you

31:34

started .

31:35

Surely will , surely will .

31:37

Where can the listeners find you online if

31:39

they want to connect ?

31:41

Everywhere . So it's Real Life by Rhonda

31:43

on TikTok , on Facebook

31:46

, on Instagram , on my website

31:48

it's reallifebyrhondacom . I

31:50

am completely branded and easy to

31:52

find . You just type in real life and more than

31:55

likely it's gonna come up and that's Rhonda

31:57

without an H . So just Real

31:59

Life by Rhonda Love it .

32:01

Well , thank you so much , Rhonda , for joining

32:03

us on the podcast sharing the gems

32:05

. Listen , I am so here for

32:07

it . If you are not already following the podcast

32:10

, scroll

32:17

up to the top and follow the podcast . Make sure you follow us , rate us five stars , leave a comment and

32:20

all the things . Share us with your besties , Don't just hold us to yourself . Again , Rhonda , thank you so much

32:22

for joining the podcast .

32:23

Thank you for having me , Hazel . It was a blast . Thank

32:25

you so much .

32:26

You're welcome .

32:29

We hope you caught all those gems . So

32:31

here for all of it . Be sure to subscribe

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32:43

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