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The Power of Prioritizing Your Peace: Mastering the Art of Saying 'No' as an Introvert

The Power of Prioritizing Your Peace: Mastering the Art of Saying 'No' as an Introvert

Released Tuesday, 17th October 2023
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The Power of Prioritizing Your Peace: Mastering the Art of Saying 'No' as an Introvert

The Power of Prioritizing Your Peace: Mastering the Art of Saying 'No' as an Introvert

The Power of Prioritizing Your Peace: Mastering the Art of Saying 'No' as an Introvert

The Power of Prioritizing Your Peace: Mastering the Art of Saying 'No' as an Introvert

Tuesday, 17th October 2023
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

Does this sentence make all the introvert

0:02

that sells in your body cringe and make you want to disappear

0:04

? Cause girl , me too . Hey

0:07

there , fellow introvert on stage . This show

0:09

is a safe space for the soft souls to learn

0:12

, connect and master communication . I'm

0:14

Olivia Lee and you're listening to Introvert

0:17

on Stage . Let's

0:23

say you planned on relaxing and doing some self-healing

0:26

after a long week . To me

0:28

that's cuddling with my puppy while binging

0:30

my favorite show or reading a book . But

0:32

then a friend calls and says they

0:34

need you to babysit their kids for just 5

0:37

hours because something suddenly came up . You

0:39

know these kids and how crazy and

0:41

loud they can be , so just the thought

0:44

of being around them all by yourself stresses

0:46

you out . But your friend continues

0:48

to ask on the phone . Can you please

0:50

help me out this one time ? I promise

0:52

I won't ask again , but just one time

0:54

. You're my friend and I really need your help

0:57

, and no one else said they can Please

0:59

. Does

1:02

this sentence make all the introvert that sells

1:04

in your body cringe and make you want to disappear ? Cause

1:07

girl , me too . Maybe

1:10

you just want to unwillingly say yes , despite

1:12

how tired and frustrated you are , because

1:14

you want to be there for your friend . Or

1:17

if you go deeper , maybe

1:19

it's because you don't want your friend to be mad at

1:22

you or hate you . Or

1:25

if you go even deeper , you

1:27

may be thinking , if you say

1:29

no now , when you need their help

1:31

in the future , maybe she won't be

1:33

there for you either because you said no

1:35

this one time . I understand

1:37

your struggle if you relate to the thought process

1:39

above , because that's my thought

1:42

process too the feeling

1:44

of constantly putting others' needs before your

1:46

own , of being overly friendly

1:48

and saying yes all the time and regretting

1:51

it , and the fear of being disliked

1:53

or misunderstood . It's

1:55

a pattern that many introverts fall into and

1:58

it can be incredibly draining and frustrating

2:00

. This conflict , although

2:03

complicated , is solvable and

2:05

the solution begins with the magic word

2:07

no . First

2:09

and foremost , I want you to recognize the power

2:12

of no , because your kindness is

2:14

a strength , not a weakness . But

2:17

that also doesn't mean other people get

2:19

to walk all over your boundaries . Saying

2:22

no isn't rejecting the person

2:24

. Saying no doesn't mean you don't like

2:26

them . It simply means you can't

2:28

or choose not to take on their project

2:31

. Because , if you think about it , no matter how

2:33

simple the favor is , it's still

2:35

sacrificing your own needs and desires

2:38

, and it helps to script

2:40

out your no as well . It might sound

2:42

silly and you might think it's overdoing it , but

2:44

if you're like me and you often overthink

2:47

how to say no and you end up saying yes

2:49

because you don't know how to say no refusal

2:52

, nicely , trust me , this helps . Here

2:55

are a few scripts that you could use , especially

2:57

in this particular example that I gave

2:59

you before . Number one

3:01

is for people who are more comfortable

3:03

saying no . Number one I'd

3:06

love to help , but I've had a long week

3:08

and really need some downtime . As

3:11

you can tell , you know this answer . You're

3:13

being truly honest , you're not making

3:15

up plans that you didn't have , but

3:17

just simply to the point , you had a long

3:20

week . You really need some downtime for yourself

3:22

. Number two is

3:24

for people who are still uncomfortable

3:26

saying no and want to offer

3:28

a solution . Number two thank you for

3:30

thinking of me . Unfortunately

3:33

, I already have plans , but I really

3:35

hope you find someone who can help . Or you could

3:37

also say I could ask around

3:39

and see if anyone else can help . Or number

3:41

three I wish I could help , but

3:44

I already have plans . Let's catch up later

3:46

. So , as you can tell , those are

3:48

really simple answers , because

3:50

it's also important to avoid over-exponation

3:53

when we don't really have a good

3:55

or clear reason to say no . We

3:58

tend to go on and on about why

4:00

we can't do something , but

4:02

you don't owe anyone a lengthy justification

4:05

, not to mention that makes you sound

4:07

a little sus too . A

4:09

simple and sincere reason is good

4:12

enough . Being nice doesn't mean you have to

4:14

constantly please everyone around you at

4:16

the expense of your own happiness . You might

4:18

not want to disappoint or hurt other people

4:20

and end up saying yes to things you

4:22

don't want to . I used to think this

4:24

was how I get others to like me , but

4:27

after many years of saying yes over

4:29

and over and later disappointing them

4:31

when I actually can't help , I

4:33

realized that we simply cannot control

4:36

how other people react . People might

4:38

get disappointed , and that's okay

4:40

. Your well-being is as important as

4:42

anyone else's , and those who genuinely

4:44

care will understand . Remember

4:47

that setting boundaries is not a selfish

4:49

act . Think of yourself as a beautiful

4:52

yet fragile wildflower . If

4:54

you build a boundary around you now

4:56

, you're in a flower garden and people know

4:59

not to step inside At least those

5:01

would common sense in courtasy . But

5:03

if you're simply a wildflower in the

5:05

wild with no boundary , no fences

5:08

, nothing , people don't know how

5:10

close they're allowed to get to you so they might

5:12

end up stepping on you , plucking you

5:14

or , even worse , it on you

5:16

. Haha , jk . Saying

5:19

no is an act of self-care and self-respect

5:22

, because behind every yes are sacrifices

5:24

you make for yourself , whether it's your time

5:26

, energy or money . By setting

5:29

boundaries , you're acknowledging your

5:31

own needs and limitations and

5:33

you actually earn more respect from other

5:35

people as someone who knows

5:37

how to put yourself first . Not

5:40

setting your boundaries and getting frustrated

5:42

is like not having a

5:44

door and getting mad that people don't

5:46

knock . Ooh , I really like that

5:48

you have to tell them where the

5:50

door is and that to get in , they

5:52

have to respectfully knock and wait

5:55

for an answer . If not , they

5:57

get kicked out . If you want to be kind to

5:59

others , you must know how to be kind to yourself

6:01

first . As cliche as it

6:03

sounds , it's true . Take

6:05

the time to recharge and engage in

6:07

activities that bring you joy and

6:09

peace . As an introvert , solitude

6:12

is our source of strength and renewal

6:14

. Embrace it and use it to nourish

6:16

your soul . Taking care of yourself gives

6:19

you more energy and capacity to give

6:21

to those who really mean more to

6:23

you and who you love more authentically

6:25

. Personal growth and self-discovery

6:28

take time . It's a journey and

6:30

there will be ups and downs , so

6:32

be patient with yourself and celebrate

6:34

every step you take towards finding

6:36

your own voice and being true to who

6:38

you are , instead of thinking . I

6:41

wish I could stop caring so much about

6:43

what others think . Embrace your

6:45

introverted nature as a gift and

6:47

try thinking instead . I

6:49

have a kind heart that makes me care

6:51

about how others think , which allows me

6:53

to connect with other people on a deeper

6:56

level . To all the frustrated

6:58

introverts out there , know that you

7:00

are not alone . Your struggles

7:02

are so valid , but saying

7:04

no is also an essential skill

7:06

that can be learned to prevent burn-out

7:09

and over-commitment . It's okay to

7:11

prioritize your mental well-being , and

7:13

saying no will also clearly

7:15

indicate who

7:17

your real friends are . Thank

7:20

you for having me in your ear . Your time

7:22

and presence are truly appreciated . I

7:25

hope you enjoyed today's episode and we'll

7:27

be back again next Tuesday on Introvert

7:29

on Stage . Bye-bye .

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