Episode Transcript
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0:00
You are listening to the How To Talk
0:02
To Girls podcast with Me Trip Kramer. Hello
0:06
and welcome back to another
0:08
episode of the How To
0:10
Talk To Girls podcast. I
0:12
am your Host Trip Kramer
0:14
from Trip Advice coaching.com Weekly
0:16
wing Man back in session
0:18
How to get over a
0:20
girl he's still have feelings
0:22
for? This is an important
0:24
one. Might. Be
0:26
a little bit different from the other weekly
0:29
wing men's in the sense that I give
0:31
you some kind of tips to help with
0:33
attraction but this one is one you're gonna
0:35
want to come back to. I really I
0:37
can make these weekly wing man so they're
0:40
gonna short and sweet. You can come back
0:42
to him and listen to him over and
0:44
over again and just was to help you
0:46
out a time. and for this of course
0:48
I do have some practical tips for you.
0:51
They do have things for you to do.
0:54
So. That you are able to get
0:56
over the girl that you like and
0:58
I know a lotta guys struggle with
1:00
this. This is really inspired by what
1:03
I hear all the time when I
1:05
get questions over Instagram sometimes even over
1:07
the podcast and I think that you
1:10
need a little procedure, a little system.
1:13
So. You can get over any woman that
1:15
need the you like and I am definitely
1:17
one to talk about this. Not because. I
1:21
you know, teach this stuff. But I've.
1:23
Gone through. This is something
1:25
that I have experienced myself.
1:28
I. Had to go through many, many
1:31
times. A. Situation where I was
1:33
getting over a girl that I that I still
1:35
liked it. I mean this went back all
1:37
the way to I can. Even.
1:39
Remember in elementary school and then middle
1:41
school and then junior high and then
1:44
high school, and then even again in
1:46
college and then even again in my
1:48
twenties. But then I finally started to
1:50
get a hang of one I needed
1:53
to do to get over. a
1:55
woman that i still had feelings for
1:57
and i know that you If
2:00
you're listening to this, might be going through
2:02
this right now and it is painful and
2:04
it is tough and easy for
2:07
me to say because I'm on the outside of it
2:09
but trust me my friend, like I just said, I've
2:11
been through it more
2:13
times than I'd like to count and
2:16
a lot of guys are going to go through this
2:18
at least once in their life. Let's
2:21
get into it. How do we get over a
2:23
girl that we still have feelings
2:25
for? This can be
2:27
also help with a
2:30
girlfriend that you just broke up with. It can
2:32
be a girl that even you
2:34
never dated before but you kind of like. Maybe it's
2:37
a coworker. Maybe it's a girl that you went on
2:39
one date with but for some reason she's in your
2:41
social circle so you see her all the time. What
2:45
are you supposed to do? Here's
2:47
the procedure. What
2:49
I'm about to say, you might not
2:51
like, you might say, I'm not going
2:53
to do that. That's way too polarizing
2:55
to advice. I can't do this but
2:58
I'm not here to tell you that even
3:00
though it's hard to do, I promise
3:03
you it is the absolute best method,
3:06
the best thing you can do. It's been proven
3:09
time and time again with clients
3:11
we work with, with myself
3:13
included anecdotally, it
3:15
works. Here's what you're going to do. The
3:19
most important thing is to
3:21
erase her from your memory. Now if
3:23
you've ever seen the movie called
3:26
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, if you haven't
3:28
by the way, you need to see this movie.
3:31
It is amazing, Jim Carrey, Kate
3:33
Winslet, just
3:35
an amazing film about getting over the
3:38
person you still have feelings for. I
3:41
won't spoil it for you but in
3:43
the movie you can go to a
3:46
doctor and they can go into your
3:50
brain and delete the memories of the girl that
3:52
you just broke up with or that you like.
3:55
Unfortunately, we cannot do that. What
3:57
can we do now? We
3:59
can. Then try and remove
4:02
her by getting
4:05
out any potential vision
4:09
of her. What
4:11
does that mean? That means she should not
4:13
be in your sight at all.
4:16
She shouldn't be in your sight, meaning
4:19
in person. She should
4:21
not be in your sight virtually. Anything
4:25
that has to do with her should
4:28
be removed. Let's go
4:30
into the specifics. First
4:33
and foremost, do not meet up with her. If
4:36
you work with her or you see her on a
4:38
daily basis because you can't help it, I don't know
4:40
what to tell you. Try
4:43
to dodge her if you can. It's
4:45
not about being cold, not trying to get back at her.
4:48
It's about having the memory
4:50
of her be as far
4:52
away as possible. Your most
4:54
recent memory of her needs
4:57
to be as far away as possible. We
5:01
are not going to see her. We're not going to hang out
5:03
with her. We're going to stay away from her. We're going to
5:05
avoid her. Virtually
5:08
we are going to delete all
5:10
of her text messages, get
5:12
her out of your phone. We
5:15
are going to stop texting her obviously. You
5:18
might even go as far as blocking her
5:21
as a way to have her not text
5:23
you so nothing even comes up. You
5:26
are going to unfollow her from all
5:28
social media accounts. This
5:34
is kind of a two-part. If
5:36
you have a bunch of photos with her, I'm
5:38
not going to tell you to delete them. Some
5:40
people like to just keep memories because they're memories,
5:42
not because you still like the person. Either
5:46
delete them, which
5:49
is probably the best idea, or
5:51
put them somewhere else out of
5:54
sight, out of mind, a Dropbox
5:56
account, something like that. I
5:58
would probably just delete them altogether. I
6:02
want you to then
6:04
make sure she's blocked and she
6:06
can't call you so no way
6:08
of her being able to communicate with you. You
6:12
want to make this inevitable. You
6:14
do not want to use willpower. Willpower
6:18
is not for the weak.
6:21
Willpower is not good. You want to
6:24
use willpower the
6:26
least amount possible. Instead
6:29
you want to make it so there's no
6:31
way that you can actually contact you. That's
6:33
why we block her. That's why we delete
6:35
her number. This is going to help and make
6:37
sure you're not looking at her social media, her
6:39
stories, things like that. Anywhere
6:42
else virtually or in
6:44
real life IRL physically
6:47
that we can make sure
6:49
we don't get anything visual
6:53
from her, get her
6:55
in our sight because
6:58
there's no actual secret sauce here.
7:00
She's still going to be in your mind. This
7:03
is not Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind where
7:06
they delete all the memories. She
7:08
is still going to be in your mind. What
7:11
does that mean? That means
7:13
that as long as
7:16
that's the only thing left and
7:18
the last memory of this woman is
7:22
still very far away then
7:25
you now have a shot at
7:27
going through the process called Time Heals.
7:33
Have you heard of that before? Time Heals.
7:36
It's a very famous
7:38
cliche which just
7:41
means that as time goes on you
7:43
will heal. Right now you
7:45
might like a woman that
7:48
liked you, you were in a relationship or maybe who
7:50
knows never even liked your back but you might like
7:52
her. At this
7:54
point the only thing that you need is
7:56
time. If time is
7:58
the solution, time means meaning more
8:00
time away from her. That's
8:03
the only solution here which I've
8:06
ever seen. That means that
8:08
we need to do everything I just
8:10
told you here today to make sure
8:12
that the memory of her is as
8:14
far away as possible. That's why if
8:16
you ever hear of people or you've been
8:18
through this situation before where you have
8:21
a girl in your life who you're
8:23
trying to get rid of and then all of a sudden you see
8:26
something on social media with her or
8:28
you end up getting a text from her and then
8:31
all the feelings come flooding back and it's like you
8:33
have to start all over again. Ever
8:35
been in that situation? If you haven't, it's
8:37
a very real thing and it sucks. You
8:40
put a lot of hard work in for weeks,
8:43
maybe even months to then
8:45
she teases you with some sort
8:47
of picture or text message or
8:49
social media post or something and
8:52
then almost potentially all of your
8:54
work that you've done to get over her
8:56
is just down the drain. That
9:00
happens because now we have a moment where
9:02
we have a new memory of her. We
9:04
see what's going on. We're catching up with
9:06
her in her
9:08
life, especially
9:10
with social media, man. I tell you, social
9:13
media will crush you.
9:16
It was probably a lot easier back in
9:18
the day. Although as I say that, maybe
9:20
I take that back because back in the
9:22
day we met people through our social circle.
9:25
Maybe if that's the way you were meeting women, then it
9:27
was even harder because you had to avoid them in your
9:29
social circle and that can be really tough. I
9:32
don't know. Maybe this has always been a very tough thing. Speaking
9:35
of, maybe you did meet a woman in your social
9:37
circle. What are you supposed to do with that? Tripp
9:40
is telling you right now, don't try to see
9:42
her or all those feelings are going to come
9:44
flooding back and that memory is going to be
9:46
too new of her. What are you
9:48
supposed to do? Unfortunately, if you want to
9:50
get over her, you're going to have to do everything
9:52
you can to avoid it. It's
9:54
going to sound funny to your
9:56
friends because you're going to have to be like, Is
10:01
Carly there? Is she coming
10:03
to the party because she says there I can't go? And
10:06
that might sound weak, it might sound lame
10:09
or you're trying to keep tabs on her
10:11
so you can avoid her. But
10:13
guess what? That's going to
10:15
be way better than you right now in the very
10:17
beginning stages of trying to get over someone, trying to
10:19
just suck it up and deal with it and then
10:22
you see her at the party or the event or
10:24
whatever. Do not let anyone tell
10:26
you that it is weak and that you should man
10:28
up and you should be totally fine. Just like, oh,
10:30
just, you know, be mature, you'll be
10:32
fine. Figure it out. Yeah, maybe down
10:34
the line. I'm not saying avoid her forever.
10:37
She's in your social circle. Eventually you will
10:39
get over her. But right now,
10:41
when the cut is really raw and
10:44
the feelings are still there, it is
10:46
in your best benefit to avoid
10:50
as much as possible. And
10:53
I know that there's some advice here I gave today where you're
10:55
like, well, what am I supposed to do? I
10:57
just block her? Isn't she going to think like that
11:00
I'm mad at her and then she's going to win
11:03
and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? I've heard that before,
11:05
by the way. That's the retaliation I get when I
11:07
give this advice of like, that's going
11:09
to look, isn't that going to look weak? Who
11:12
cares how you look in front of her? That's
11:15
my answer. Who cares? This
11:17
isn't about winning or losing. And if she thinks
11:19
she won or something, okay, great. Let her win.
11:22
It doesn't matter. She's out of your life now.
11:25
You hear what I'm saying? She's not part of your life.
11:27
You're trying to get rid of her and
11:29
who she is in relation
11:31
to your life. You're trying to get
11:33
as much distance from her as possible.
11:36
So what she thinks of you does
11:38
not matter at all. It
11:40
plays no importance in your life. So this
11:43
isn't win or lose. This is you playing
11:45
the game to help
11:48
yourself move forward faster. And
11:50
the best way to move forward faster is
11:53
to ignore, avoid
11:56
and delete. At
12:00
first, this is going to be very hard.
12:02
This is going to be like going through
12:04
a drug addiction withdrawal. It is going to
12:06
hurt. You are going to
12:08
be depressed. You might even be anxious
12:10
through all this. But
12:13
then if you go through this real,
12:16
real tough period, you end
12:18
up getting where you want to be emotionally
12:20
faster. Otherwise, if you do this kind of
12:22
slow thing where you're like, okay, well, I'll
12:24
just keep her on social media, but I'll
12:27
delete the text messages or I'll delete her
12:29
from messages or
12:32
social media, but I'll keep her on text messages. You
12:34
can play that game if you want. It's
12:37
just going to be a lot slower. I
12:40
told you a second ago, we don't
12:43
want people to be like, oh, man up, blah, blah, blah.
12:45
I'm going to tell you right now, you do
12:47
want to man up in one situation. Here's where
12:49
you're going to try to
12:52
gather the strength as much as possible.
12:54
Through this period of
12:57
deletion and
13:00
getting her as far away as possible. I know that,
13:02
by the way, I know that not all of you
13:04
can follow every single bit of this advice depending
13:07
on what the situation is with the girl, but you
13:09
just want to do as much as possible. If you
13:11
can do all of it, you're in the best situation.
13:15
You're going to have to gather the strength during
13:19
this initial period to
13:21
get through it so that you can actually
13:24
get past this. That
13:28
is my best advice. It
13:31
is the most
13:33
practical and
13:35
the actual most
13:37
effective advice. I've been through
13:39
this, clients have been through it. I've
13:42
seen it all, I've heard it all. I've
13:44
never heard of anything else that works the
13:46
best. Again, this is
13:48
not about saying F
13:50
you to her and this
13:53
has nothing to do with her or any
13:55
sort of passive aggressiveness towards her.
13:58
This has nothing to do with her. All
14:00
about you and your healing. I'll
14:02
say that again. It's all about
14:04
you and your healing. Delete.
14:08
Avoid. Ignore. Follow.
14:12
That and you're going to be in good hands.
14:15
Now. Lot. Of guys
14:17
still struggle. I get it. Would.
14:20
Be Man is always in all always
14:22
be sponsored by. Yours. Truly Trip
14:24
advice, Trip advice, Coaching to have you
14:26
need help meeting a new woman which
14:28
by the way, that's a very popular
14:30
piece of advice. Words I got: You
14:32
want to get over her? Get under
14:34
someone? Do. Whatever it is, you
14:36
know, meet someone else. I'm not really all
14:38
for that. I don't love that idea. But
14:42
when you're ready I would say after
14:44
about a month if you've done this
14:46
properly, bother with. if you've done is
14:48
properly, one month is all you need.
14:51
So. One month have. No
14:53
contact at all with her know virtual
14:55
contact, no social media or everything. I
14:58
just said, you're good in about four
15:00
to six weeks. Me without
15:02
a fully one hundred percent healed, but about
15:04
over fifty percent for sure at that point
15:06
as he could be smart to then get
15:08
back in the dating game you don't want
15:10
to wait too long. Because. It
15:12
he wait too long. The
15:15
news can be wasting time. So.
15:17
Take four to six weeks, maybe sooner to
15:19
heal. when you come back when you're ready
15:21
to get help. Good a trip. Advice: Coach
15:23
and.com We can help you meet more women
15:25
online and in person. We had the strategies,
15:28
we have, the tools, we do it every
15:30
single day and were able to get you
15:32
to the point where you're meeting more women
15:34
than you ever have before then find the
15:36
one that you don't have to go through
15:38
this again. But. If you
15:40
do is sometimes a date and you meet someone
15:42
you like and it doesn't work out. You can
15:44
listen to this over and over again to help
15:46
you know for sure, but my skirt and.com link
15:48
isn't the soon as we can help you we
15:50
do. By the way, For. Dual boot
15:52
camps and we had some common up in
15:55
L A in Miami. We. got
15:57
some in vegas we even were have one
15:59
in london Check out all of the dates
16:02
at tripadvice.com/live
16:04
training. Also
16:06
link in the show notes. I hope that
16:08
this episode helped you. Delete,
16:11
avoid, ignore. Sometimes
16:14
the most extreme advice
16:18
gets extreme results.
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