Episode Transcript
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Have a wish that Shaquille
1:43
O'neill never acts again. We
1:45
saw kvamme See, you know
1:47
what that means. Thought
1:57
it was an egg roll baby in his.
2:00
Not. Everyone
2:03
images are less so. how?
2:09
On the zone. Over
2:12
the with. Him.
2:20
And. Laugh because they is and his
2:23
own. Router
2:31
to the police officer automotive seventy
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eight sisters have more to movies
2:35
was making the great if. We.
2:50
Are live that long ago at
2:52
the court at our Home for
2:54
Live Cells in Los Angeles with
2:56
a very exciting night? That's right,
2:58
City alone. Neil as a genie.
3:01
The. Movie called to them and a
3:03
please welcome might to coast says it
3:05
says welcome to some as it
3:07
is. No
3:18
souls. Or
3:21
so ago. Soon.
3:33
And are very special guest
3:35
tonight. Welcome Say. All
3:43
right, Here.
3:45
We go Here We go We
3:47
go now. Calcium cause them. I
3:49
will say that this is a
3:51
movie that I saw a busy
3:54
busy of Split The Box the
3:56
cover of a Million Times. Never
3:58
thought to watch it. And
4:00
ah, and so high that it
4:02
is. Why Why wouldn't Why wouldn't
4:04
you. Won't keep
4:06
you one thing that would keep you
4:09
from odds even see the movie stars
4:11
the he'll only else I think I
4:13
thought it would be to real. And
4:17
I couldn't handle the truth. Yup, I
4:20
don't want get into the whole genie
4:22
jin argument and I want to go
4:24
down I don't know much. Another minute
4:27
you start the movie that Can of
4:29
Worms open image. The Question: A
4:31
lot of different things of this
4:33
movie is amazing because it's so.
4:36
I. Mean, we'll talk about the whole thing, but it's
4:38
still an entry level bus Three: I mean, I
4:40
said we can barely gets them in. With twenty
4:43
four hours, we wouldn't get through the whole thing.
4:45
A: There's so much to talk about. His. Ass
4:47
to Watts it for tonight and
4:49
it was a complete joy at.
4:51
His best homework assignment of
4:53
my life was a lot
4:55
to some people know. The.
4:58
Movie starts off with this kid. Has
5:01
a total asshole. Am
5:05
like a bad ass bully mm with
5:07
an associate of establishing that he's a
5:09
bad as bully. Bother,
5:11
bullies, abuse, sit out of. I'm just. Going
5:17
on this this this movie exists
5:19
in a world where bullies have
5:21
bully access. This is Max is
5:23
the most unlike the board to
5:25
character I've ever seen us I
5:27
would say and I don't mean
5:29
I mean he's older now I
5:31
don't know which someone says a
5:33
word that would come. Much
5:36
like see that means written
5:38
that way that lovely child.
5:40
But there's nothing. There's nothing
5:42
about a minimum aging with. Say:
5:44
I'm sorry to hear this. i'm
5:47
really shocked because i'll i cared for
5:49
max and once i found out in
5:52
the apartment seen that he was struggling
5:54
with his stepfather in a zip others
5:56
arrive on the family i thought i
5:59
understood everything about him. This
6:02
kid's dad's been gone for
6:04
years and years. He doesn't
6:06
even remember him and he's got
6:08
the nicest firemen's food to be
6:11
said dad. The best. I'll say
6:13
this, Travis is a saint. He's
6:17
a goddamn saint. All he's
6:19
doing is eating spoonful after
6:21
spoonful of shit from this
6:23
max. It's all he's doing. He's
6:25
just cramming it down his throat and he's like don't
6:27
you worry I'm gonna be here when you're ready. Literally
6:31
Max goes out stays out all night
6:33
and Travis is like let's get him
6:36
a baseball. Yeah like you know. Let's
6:38
take care of him. So we're clear
6:40
Max is 12. We're
6:43
talking about like a troubled 16 year
6:45
old. This is a 12 year old child. I
6:48
don't want to get too far ahead but also Max
6:52
I don't it's unclear how long
6:55
Kazam is around. Yes but
6:57
Max does not shower or brush
7:00
his teeth or change his clothes
7:02
for the entirety of the movie.
7:05
You're right but then he has
7:07
he takes objection with how Kazam
7:09
smells leading to one of
7:12
the most upsetting scenes in the movie
7:14
in which a
7:16
grown genie showers in front of a
7:18
boy. What
7:22
are we doing here? With a giant... I don't know
7:24
who this movie's for. It
7:28
is a children's movie where I mean
7:31
I will say that there is a racist over
7:33
tone or undertone under it
7:35
too with Mac. Well first of all he
7:37
stumbled into a genie. We should establish that.
7:39
While running away from his bullies he finds
7:41
the genie's lamp which is a boombox. Because
7:45
he fell out of the lamp into the boombox. Which I
7:48
didn't even understand. So
7:51
he was in the lamp originally. Yeah
7:53
and then when the wrecking ball comes in you hear On
7:56
the fifth floor lamp shop you hear Kazam
7:58
Go whoa. You
8:02
know my what's going on in Life
8:04
magazine is Suzy like get an apartment
8:06
and I. Really Honestly,
8:08
this a really big question or on.
8:10
We will Now this is
8:12
a very serious question will
8:14
come to find out that
8:16
sack once a career as
8:19
a performer specifically. A rap
8:21
artist. Do you
8:23
think that while in the in the
8:25
regular lamp he always felt that way?
8:27
Or was it something about being transported
8:29
to that goon bars? I
8:36
don't know by this because is
8:39
this rap go back five thousand
8:41
years ago as a proper poetry
8:43
than the answer's yes. Or
8:45
Joey. I even really wrapping Zola.
8:49
I will say or he comes out
8:51
species in like rhyming couplets. well let's
8:54
list so so helps his van zoo
8:56
just know how to zoom side of
8:58
the would soon as bridge and referred
9:01
to as standard z me dogs. Will
9:04
put the genie top. Have been going.
9:08
On bail on a lot. God
9:11
for the first minutes. Ppt Nariman
9:13
top of them as I. I
9:15
mean as the kill my
9:17
ah jeong, Not as. I
9:21
go straight up a murder my own self.
9:25
All I know as at this point I'm
9:27
like this screenplay was written in all caps.
9:31
Nothing. But streaming. Movies
9:34
meant to be. screams. Goal
9:38
A Good Otherwise those who begins to says
9:40
about said pop. Who
9:45
would. Murder
9:49
or for him. Or
9:53
her. her. More.
10:00
or I'll take out my misery. Who's
10:02
that is already one
10:05
of me? That's a slur
10:07
of my dick. You
10:09
wanna be number one? I'm
10:11
sorry boys, that's been charged. But if you
10:14
got the inches, for a
10:16
saccharitis, no matter how avaricious, I'm
10:19
the man that can grant your wish. Hey,
10:22
don't turn your butt on me. I'm
10:25
the man of the age. It
10:30
doesn't stop for so much longer than even
10:32
that. What's interesting
10:34
in watching his arrival is
10:36
that throughout the entire movie, I was wondering, you know, there's
10:39
this issue of does he want to be a
10:41
genie? Does he hate being a genie? Does
10:44
he want to grant wishes?
10:46
It seems like he's like a self-hating
10:49
genie. Like he
10:51
doesn't and he's so angry. Yeah,
10:53
like you're not, you're definitely, I
10:55
wasn't tracking his emotional life. I
10:58
was like, he's like, you've gotta make, first
11:00
it's like he says three wishes, max wishes
11:02
for a car, he's, you
11:04
know, a rusty, not able to do it. And
11:06
then he's like, you gotta make your wishes real
11:09
quick. Well, basically though, what he says is, by
11:11
summoning the genie, the genie
11:14
basically becomes your slave. So
11:16
I don't think anybody wants to be put in
11:19
that position. So the quicker we get this out
11:21
of the way, the quicker I get back to
11:23
kicking back in the bottle, AKA
11:25
the boobox. The boobox, or in my
11:27
mind, all genie understanding is the inside
11:29
of the genie bottle for my dream
11:31
of genie, which seems
11:34
spacious on that show too. Oh,
11:36
beautiful. Later on, later on when they're
11:38
in the basketball court, he says that
11:40
he doesn't want to be a genie and then he
11:42
wants to get out of it. Well now he's talking to people by the book. Oh,
11:45
I see. No, he wants show
11:47
bins. I could not stop
11:49
thinking about when you're just hearing him rap the
11:51
whole time, or whatever he was doing right there. But
11:55
I was like, this is around the same
11:58
time that I think Shaquille had really done
12:00
that. the rap album right email so she.
12:02
Honestly saw I think that he was gonna
12:05
bodyguard this like Whitney Houston style and less
12:07
and be like look at. How. Great!
12:09
I wrap up some one
12:11
hundred percent of years to
12:13
rap songs in this film.
12:15
Vitter: very specific. The genius
12:17
of the autism might be
12:20
like I say, the zebra
12:22
Gb because he's rapping a
12:24
lot about sunni Specific references
12:26
are from three thousand years
12:28
ago. I'm a breeze not
12:30
exist. He. Was a good
12:33
rapper such a terrible what he just
12:35
did might as well have been written
12:37
by running a limo driver from a
12:40
hard. Like
12:42
warm words that the port part
12:44
of Missouri get more these is
12:46
served my these is the comparison
12:48
am can make them. doesn't worry
12:50
about surfing. ah
12:52
I know arming of a i
12:54
think that Shaq is a lovely
12:56
guy a bus but I honestly
12:59
didn't know like I felt like.
13:01
He didn't seem to have any here for
13:03
this kid like it, like it's it's vegan,
13:06
and then they they get the and will
13:08
get to the and. It's. Like oh
13:10
yea I love them in that whole thing as
13:12
when I didn't never got that middle of my
13:14
only friend never got like he was like i'm
13:17
looking out for the steering and I hope I'm
13:19
out know that's not true I feel like during
13:21
which one and a little bit past when he's
13:23
guy i talked to view of these kids to
13:26
do I got a boa okay try to get
13:28
into it and I think with the movie is
13:30
trying to sell us. Is. That. The.
13:33
Sax own the hubris of
13:35
sexy demas I could become
13:37
a rap superstars makes him
13:40
veer off course which is
13:42
to help Max. Fulfill. His
13:44
wishes and as a result, maximize.
13:47
Your child a result
13:49
is that child star
13:52
also movie. after
13:56
after that i believe it's the
13:58
second time you've been push down
14:00
a giant hole. Multiple
14:04
times this child falls upwards
14:06
of five stories. One
14:09
falling through floor by floor by
14:11
floor, floor boards, everything. And one
14:13
just an elevator shaft at
14:15
the end of which he meets his
14:17
end. Yeah. For
14:22
those of you listening, it's not fulfilling, but
14:24
we're just playing the game, falling
14:27
through the floor on
14:29
repeat, which is
14:31
even funny. This
14:36
is a child. This
14:38
is a child doing this movie. I
14:41
think what the director is trying to do
14:43
is show that he is the ultimate tough
14:45
guy. And Kazam tells
14:47
us many times over that he is a
14:49
tough guy. Oh, yeah. Kazam is
14:51
not to be reckoned with. Yeah,
14:54
so Kazam also winds up sleeping
14:56
and spooning this kid, too, right?
14:59
And in the game bed, yeah. But at that point,
15:01
I felt like it was like really huge
15:03
guy with little kid, and they were trying
15:05
to just show as many possible ways to
15:07
show a big guy with a little kid,
15:09
because there's a really weird shot of his
15:11
hand on his face. And
15:13
it was just like, oh, this will make audiences
15:16
laugh, because his whole hand is on this kid's
15:18
face. He can bomb his face like a bandit
15:20
ball. I also
15:22
noticed I think it's his. He could have done that anywhere. He
15:26
could have bombed the kid's face anywhere.
15:28
It did not have to be sharing
15:30
a twin-size bed. Just
15:33
saying. But then
15:36
you wouldn't have seen how big Shaquille is in a
15:38
twin-size bed. That is true. I
15:40
do have a question at the top here, too.
15:42
When the kid first brings Shaquille O'Neal to his
15:44
hangout, is it just
15:46
like a junkyard
15:49
playground? Or where the candy
15:51
comes? Yeah,
15:53
it's like a weird junkyard or something like
15:55
that. It's like a young kid. Sorry.
15:58
Wasn't that the same place? So were
16:00
the were they built
16:02
the G lamp was Almost
16:14
identical plot space By
16:19
the way, you said you had a theory about the well,
16:21
I have an issue about the candy because Okay
16:24
So he wishes for junk food to the
16:26
guy right and then it's like you see burgers
16:28
and whatever and then and then ultimately There's like
16:30
tons of junk food. Yeah, and then like those
16:33
piles of pancakes, right or
16:35
whatever And then yeah, and then afterwards
16:37
I've just so many problems with Kazam's
16:39
magic abilities or like genie abilities and
16:42
then afterwards He's like I'm hungry Cuz
16:45
am says yes, it's like we don't just left
16:48
And a tire thing of food and he's
16:50
like really a big deal about how hungry
16:52
he is And he's like let's stop for
16:54
lunch and he's wearing clothes
16:56
Like we're like they somehow found
16:58
pants and shorts like as big
17:00
too big for Shaquille Oh, yeah, Neil's clothing
17:02
is Setting
17:04
on so many levels like the pills
17:07
that are going like 18 inches And
17:12
it is like this really long shot of his paint
17:14
I'm short falling off him It's like oh if you
17:16
found why don't they fit?
17:18
Yeah at that point you're making clothes.
17:20
You're making a kitchen tablecloth I mean there's
17:22
a big like Shaquille sighs shoe is 22
17:26
So if you like that thing that there's someone larger
17:28
than Shaquille O'Neal, they're making shorts for now and he
17:30
found those Great great I've
17:35
realized who I think the kid is It's
17:38
as if they made as the protagonist
17:40
of a movie the little
17:42
brother from Teen Witch Is
17:49
a real piece of shit And
17:52
then like she takes them and is like
17:54
I took the liberty of ironing your homework
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as Tude also acted like he could
21:28
have been played by it's like a
21:30
sixty year old man, two sisters and
21:32
he first met his mom I'm like
21:34
his his his mother or his wise
21:37
as a gonna leave me alone wanted
21:39
know I go through my cigar my
21:41
newspaper on and a bigger cities such
21:43
as as I. Was
21:46
in a totally different movie spying seems
21:49
like snacks. Come on max. Max.
21:55
married and runaway this director who is
21:57
them use you pointed out at starsky
22:00
from Starsky and Hutch. I
22:02
think they were so psyched about this opening shot of
22:04
the mom, which was through the vacuum cleaner. The
22:07
mom is staring down the barrel of a
22:09
vacuum cleaner. It's like, ooh, cool shot, Kazam.
22:13
But yeah, the whole mom relationship
22:15
is crazy. Well,
22:18
I mean, we didn't get to the dad. The
22:20
dad, everybody
22:23
just gave up. The
22:27
dad is like, so the movie exists in
22:29
a world in which it's a kid, it's
22:31
a single mom. They're having a tough time.
22:33
She's falling in love with a fireman who
22:35
the kid gives up a
22:38
hard time to, Kazam shows up, and then
22:40
the kid finds his dad, who is a
22:42
villain in a different movie. OK,
22:44
so what I want to know is
22:47
if you had to say, OK,
22:49
the title of the dad's job
22:51
is? OK.
22:55
I think the dad is a
22:58
club runner, club owner.
23:00
I think he's the
23:03
front for a bad
23:05
news business man. For all those bootleg
23:07
CDs. Yeah, he's
23:10
the front man of the club
23:12
that is the front for the
23:14
CD manufacturing counterfeit CD.
23:16
No? What do we think? So Max
23:18
comes in. You don't know. Max
23:21
comes in to his club. So
23:25
they're not divorced, because there's some paperwork
23:27
that has them assigned. 10-year-old paperwork. But
23:29
I'm assuming the mom has talked to
23:31
the dad about it. And the kid
23:33
comes in, and his dad
23:35
looks at him, and he's like, what's your name? He's
23:38
like, Max. And he has
23:40
no recollection. No. Until the
23:42
second time, he says, Connor. And
23:45
then he's like, who's my kid? And
23:48
we're supposed to think he's a dick to
23:50
the kid, but when he finds out he's
23:52
his son, he's really cool to him. Oh,
23:54
is that acceptable? Oh,
23:56
he's only a dick to kids he doesn't know.
23:58
But it was a weirdo. You
24:00
have no idea whether or not you should
24:03
care about this dad and
24:05
his rehabilitation. Yeah, I think it's a
24:07
redemption story for him, if anything. Right,
24:09
but I... Because the dad is a
24:12
piece of garbage. Yeah. But
24:14
is he? Well, he's real mean to his
24:16
assistant. Oh, yeah, what was
24:18
that guy? Oh, yeah. What does
24:20
that guy do? It seemed to me, I'll tell
24:22
you this is what it seemed like to me. It seemed like there's the
24:24
owner of the club, the guy who's eating newbie and go-dots. A
24:27
lot. And that guy loved that guy. Then
24:30
I feel like... Don't you
24:32
feel like that guy was maybe also
24:34
3,000 years old? Yes, halfway through the
24:36
movie I was like, he's a genie
24:39
too. He was a gen, I thought
24:41
he was a gen. He instantly had
24:43
access to like a bunch of information.
24:45
Yeah. Immediately. And
24:48
then the woman who Shaquille goes
24:50
on a date with, what
24:52
she said? I haven't even gotten into this dating life. That
24:55
whole love plot is
24:57
insane. So the
24:59
guy says, I wonder who's eating newbie and go-dots.
25:02
Then we have Max's dad, who I'm going to
25:04
argue is a promoter of... No, he's not a
25:06
promoter. All right, what do you say? Okay, hold
25:08
on. Hold on, this person has... Yeah, sorry. Okay,
25:11
hold on, hold on. Get on my... Get on
25:13
my... Get on my... All right, what do you say?
25:16
You don't have to stand up. I was
25:18
equally confused. And he actually is in
25:21
the industry of music piracy.
25:24
Well, that wasn't really helpful at all. We
25:28
know he's in pirate... That's not a
25:30
job position in the industry of music
25:32
piracy. But in 1996, that
25:34
would have been a big deal. Sure, sure. And
25:37
that's what underground, that's where they're
25:39
doing is making counterfeit CDs. Well,
25:41
I thought it was this. He was the
25:43
club promoter. So you go, hey, Debrat, come
25:45
play my club. Then Debrat will
25:48
come play the club. Then they would secretly
25:50
record it and then sell it. So I
25:52
thought he was the fun man to be
25:54
like, hey, Debrat. And so
25:56
he's a trickster. He was a trickster who
25:58
then was... He's the trickster. tricks
26:00
or God? But then
26:02
why does the guy who's above him, the guy,
26:04
the other genie, why does he... Who
26:07
is not a genie. He must be a
26:09
genie. Why does other genie want... Why
26:12
does other genie want... Like why is
26:14
other genie excited about Shaq's career?
26:19
He saw the boom box explode.
26:22
Okay but did she... Other genie,
26:24
is he making money off of
26:26
the tapes that are being... Like
26:28
a million dollars. The one...
26:30
A million dollars that's for
26:33
a Debrat concert. The
26:35
one night of Debrat is
26:38
gonna net them one million dollars.
26:40
This is what I'm confused by.
26:42
Wait is that... Is Debrat the actual... Yes,
26:44
yes, yes. Okay so they were
26:46
there the next night when Shaquille
26:49
performed right? So why didn't they just...
26:51
When the tape was stolen, why didn't they just like re-record
26:53
them? It
26:55
would make a lot of sense. I mean and
26:58
we're living also in a world that like... I
27:01
know what a Debrat job is.
27:03
For live concerts like and that
27:05
level like, hey you have a
27:07
Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden
27:09
tape? I'll pay thousands.
27:13
It's not like, yeah so why
27:15
was it wasn't like, oh this is
27:17
all new material that the Brad is
27:19
doing. It's just a concert.
27:22
June, you're saying you know what the dad does? Okay
27:25
so I think the dad in the
27:27
legit world is considered like an artist
27:29
liaison to the club. Promoter.
27:32
Yeah a promoter but he's not... The promoter
27:34
to me implies like he's trying to get
27:36
people in the club. He's not
27:38
what he's doing. Is that what you're saying? He gets
27:40
the talent. Yes he gets the talent. He makes him
27:42
feel comfortable. He says some drinks. Whatever. But what
27:45
he's actually doing... You
27:47
think he's like using strategies of
27:50
like those VIP relationships? Yes.
27:52
Yeah. How many guests do you want to accomplish?
27:54
We have bracelets. We'll give them all to those people. So
27:56
Brad is like, I'm not coming unless Nick
27:58
is gonna be there. What
28:01
he's actually doing is organizing
28:03
the piracy. Oh, goddamn it. And setting up
28:05
the... All that stuff. The
28:07
nice guy behind the scenes who's
28:09
ordering pizzas for everybody? Nick? Nick?
28:13
Everybody's friend, Nick? Again, Kazam
28:15
is like, I'm hungry. He
28:17
asked, he was like, was that pizza coming? And
28:20
then he comes, Shazam comes, or Kazam, not Shazam. And
28:23
Shaquille and Kazam together. By the way,
28:25
it should have been Shazam. His name is fucking Shaquille. You
28:28
can't call him Shazam. He
28:31
like, but you have... Shazam already exists. Sure.
28:33
He walks in with like six pizzas.
28:35
Yeah. I'm sorry, I can't let it
28:37
go. I'm so mad about it. Guys, anytime
28:40
anybody's hungry in this movie, all
28:42
they need to do is go
28:44
to that warehouse where
28:47
there is still six inches
28:49
of food, old hot
28:52
dogs and hamburgers, and burritos on the floor. All
28:54
of it is there. So many candy bars. By
28:56
the way, they do set up the rules a
28:58
lot. I'm like, by minute 48,
29:00
the third time, Shaquille's like, no, no, I don't
29:02
do that kind of wish. I'm like, got it.
29:04
We got it. I don't want to move and
29:07
get this. He's like, I wish that you changed
29:09
my dad's life. He's like, no, I don't do
29:11
that. He's like, okay, 20 minutes later. Changed my
29:13
dad's life. No, how many times, kid, that has
29:15
to tell you that's not the shit I
29:18
do. That's ethereal. Yes, ethereal. No,
29:24
is that a rule across the board
29:27
with genies or is this specific? What
29:29
now? Do you mean with real
29:31
genies? I'm
29:35
basing this off of other genies I've seen in
29:37
movies and movies. Sure, like Aladdin. Aladdin's
29:39
really the only one that's coming to mind. And
29:42
I dream of genie, of course. Yeah,
29:44
what was her deal? What did she do? She,
29:47
you know, listen, if
29:49
we are to believe the theme song of the
29:51
show, he is
29:53
an astronaut, right? He falls from space in his capsule,
29:55
lands on a beach. He's walking down the beach. He
29:57
finds the lamp. He
30:00
rubs the lamp, genie pops out of it, he
30:03
fucks her? She
30:05
becomes his life slave. I think maybe it's like,
30:07
one of my wishes is for you to love
30:09
me for the rest of my life, even
30:11
if I turn into a, no that's the other
30:14
one, that's Bewitched. But that's a serial. Did they
30:16
both have different ones? No, just Bewitched. No, just
30:18
Bewitched. But that's a serial. Oh, you're
30:20
Harry Hagman. Right. Yeah. Right?
30:24
But that's, I mean, but... But she was basically his slave for...
30:26
Right, because she's really... I remember this
30:28
being true where genies can only produce
30:30
material objects. Are there any genies in
30:33
the audience? What
30:35
if in the last scene of the
30:38
last episode of I Dream of Genie,
30:40
Larry Hagman dies and
30:43
Genie is finally released from
30:46
having to do the cursed wish that she's
30:48
been doing his whole life,
30:50
which is loving him. And
30:53
then the show ended. That
30:57
would be amazing. That's a real soprano's ender. I
31:01
want to bring up the fact, and this is nothing, not
31:04
trying to be anything, but just calling out a point, was
31:07
there no makeup on this movie?
31:09
Because Shaquille O'Neal sweats like he's
31:11
shooting this movie during a time
31:13
out of a fucking championship basketball.
31:15
Also, there are
31:17
plenty of shots of people trying to wipe
31:20
him and put makeup on him and they
31:22
can't reach his head. And so
31:24
they're like, think that like... Whatever
31:27
the stylistic choice was they chose for this,
31:29
they also chose it in Steel, where he
31:32
also looks like exactly what you said. He must
31:35
have a problem. Like he's doing it at halftime
31:37
of the game. Hey, K. Shaquille, can we do
31:39
one quick shot with you before you get back?
31:41
Yeah, sure man. On the go. Hey
31:44
kid, I can't grant a theory of wishes.
31:46
Shaquille, get back in there. Pass me the
31:49
ball. I have a
31:51
question. Did... K-ZAM
31:54
during the course of this movie admit
31:56
to perpetrating Pompeii? Yeah.
32:01
He lives under the ash for 347 years. Legitimately
32:06
guilty of crimes against humanity. Which is why
32:08
he... He committed a genocide. That's
32:10
why he's in the situation
32:12
he's in, right? Well, no, because I thought
32:14
he was a genie, then he did Pompeii,
32:16
then he went 347 years under
32:19
the ashes, and then I guess something else happened.
32:22
Oh, so he was born a genie. That's a
32:24
great question. No, no, no. By
32:26
the way, we're going to find out right
32:28
now. Why don't we let Shaquille O'Neal tell
32:30
you exactly how he came
32:32
to be a genie in this
32:34
rap and as people who are
32:37
watching this video can see his
32:39
18-inch collars in
32:42
this scene. But this sets up
32:44
how Shaquille became who he is.
32:47
Here we go. This is who the maggots are.
32:49
I'm not soldin' no stands. Is that it? Is that
32:51
the whole deal? You want to be your head? You better get to... I
32:53
did have this friend in the house in the city. We just helped out
32:55
on the video, baby. We... I'm very good
32:57
to be, and I said I'm a genie. She... Why don't we
32:59
jump in that hole? Well, that's a whole soul. Is that some
33:01
of you guys himself? I'm dropping into some arrests. Baby, baby, baby.
33:03
Ray B, man. We were a... A...
33:07
A... A... A... A...
33:11
A... A... A... A...
33:15
A... A... A...
33:18
A... A... A... A...
33:22
A... A... A...
33:26
A... A... A...
33:29
A... A... A...
33:33
And he lean. He
33:37
lean. He
33:40
lean. He
33:44
lean. regarded
33:48
his ass
33:51
Are you chin? I know. I know.
33:53
I know. I know. I
33:57
know. Okay,
34:01
so that's the story
34:05
of how he came to
34:08
be like I know we all
34:10
just watched that together
34:22
and I still don't know what's happening. I
34:25
don't know. I got it. Just like
34:27
him and his buddy saw some pretty
34:29
ladies who had rabies. They
34:32
were then. What is that? I don't understand
34:34
what that was. In the Euphrates. In the
34:36
Euphrates. They were then caught
34:38
by a sultan who put them in quicksand. They were about to
34:40
die and as they were about to die, they were like, oh
34:42
please don't kill us. Then this
34:44
god came down and said I'm going to make
34:47
you guys genies. So we don't know where his
34:49
friend is. His friend is maybe another lamb. Other
34:51
genies. Other genies. Other genies. That
34:55
would have been a better movie. If
34:59
that bad guy had been revealed to be in
35:01
fact. Again I just wonder so it seems
35:03
like being a genie saved his life. But
35:07
it also seems like he hates being a genie.
35:09
I think it's some sort of like indentured
35:11
servitude or something. Like it's not the life
35:13
he has to obey. It's not a life
35:15
he chooses. And I can understand that. I
35:18
can understand that. Well he's at the whim of somebody who could
35:20
be like make a volcano erupt and
35:22
kill everybody and he's got to be like okay.
35:25
I get the part of me and maybe
35:28
this is small thinking but I
35:30
would think it would be kind of nice to
35:32
give someone their wish. You
35:35
know that there's something fun about that. But
35:37
you spent 3000 years granting everybody else's wish and you
35:39
were like what about me? What about my wish to
35:41
be a rapper? Yeah.
35:44
That's also granting my wish. If
35:46
a genie met another genie do
35:49
you think they could ask for a wish? Yes.
35:53
If that genie if
35:56
he knocked the genie out of whatever he
35:58
was in or she... Hey, hey. Hey,
36:02
look, that's a sequel I want to say. I'm
36:04
comfortable living in a world where a genie
36:06
can be a woman. Comfortable
36:10
with it. And then he owed
36:12
them, right? Like he's the
36:15
same rules would apply. Or you run
36:17
into a gen who seems to be the
36:19
most powerful. Yeah. Who could probably
36:21
do a lot more stuff. I gotta tell you, I did not
36:23
see the gen thing coming at the end.
36:25
Yeah. I mean, I feel like when he
36:28
had kind of a Patrick Swayze like from
36:30
going like. Kind of just morphed into
36:32
a giant version of it. Oh, you're
36:34
a giant man because gianter? Yeah. At
36:37
a certain point Shaq is like three stories
36:39
tall. And
36:42
Max is still talking to him. It
36:44
was weird. Max
36:46
is kind of, I feel like Shaq never did reverse
36:48
angles. So I feel like Max was just doing a
36:50
one man show to like a tennis ball and a
36:52
stick. Yeah, right. I
36:54
never felt like Max is truly afraid. Of
36:56
Kazam. He was downright abusive to Kazam. He
37:00
was angry. Like get the fuck out of my bed. Bam.
37:03
Like it was like. Are you kidding? This
37:05
is a strange man in his bed. I
37:18
have no problem with what he did.
37:22
I'm 100% cool and would use
37:24
this movie to show my own
37:27
children how to behave should they
37:29
find a seven foot six
37:31
man in their bed, spooning
37:34
them in the morning. I
37:41
don't have children. It's
37:45
funny though because I wasn't clear on what his powers
37:47
were exactly. I
37:52
agree. Because I know he's
37:54
able to grant wishes, but it also seems like
37:56
he can hear Max
37:58
wherever he is. is and
38:00
then suck Max through space and time
38:02
right and out of like a water glass
38:04
practice so he's like on a date he's
38:06
distracted he tried to tune him out but
38:09
I also I very much agree with you
38:11
June because I was like he could be
38:13
in front of Max at any point and
38:15
Max kept like like leaving and
38:17
getting him and then he had to also be
38:19
there until Max got
38:22
on his bike and then it seemed like
38:24
Kazam had to also get on a bike
38:27
to then race him when
38:29
he could have just like stopped him in front and
38:31
he like put his hand on and said you're not
38:33
gonna ride this bike anymore or probably
38:35
flown I think that's what
38:38
happens he's on this little bike again I
38:40
think this whole movie was like how could
38:42
we make a very big guy on a
38:44
bunch of little things to elicit
38:46
laughter and then and then the bike became a
38:48
flying bike and it was like he was getting
38:50
his powers back I get that's what they were
38:52
trying to do but I mean I felt like
38:54
even with the powers back like when it when the
38:57
kid wishes for candy he doesn't like go
38:59
like oh that's a shitty wish but when the kid
39:01
wishes like for the tape he's like no I'm not
39:03
gonna grant you that you had no
39:06
problem with the candy the candy is
39:08
not gonna pay off ever go back there for like
39:10
what 15 years like oh I'm
39:12
hungry go get my twisty roll from
39:14
this weird warehouse the kid max is
39:16
more afraid of kids who are bullies
39:19
than he is a good man like
39:22
he didn't want to go back to them but
39:24
after the tape he is be in the beginning
39:26
of this movie think about
39:29
the child max's arc of the
39:31
film he is being bullied
39:33
by kids at school then
39:35
he is being relentlessly stalked
39:37
by Shaquille O'Neal his mother
39:39
is trying to bring another
39:41
man into his house he
39:43
finds his father a very
39:45
good man who he forsakes
39:47
he finds his real father
39:49
who's a piece of shit
39:52
gets embroiled in nonsense dies
39:56
is brought back to life and then mourns
39:59
the loss of of Shaquille
40:01
O'Neal. This
40:03
is a crazy movie. Do
40:05
you think that Shaquille, that Kazam,
40:09
brought him back to life? Yes.
40:11
Yes. He did it. Oh.
40:16
June, what did you think happened? How else? That's
40:18
how he became Jen. Yeah, that's who you get.
40:20
That's how he's like, oh, I did it for
40:22
the first time. I
40:25
think what he did was, because he made his own
40:27
wish come true. He was the first time. Oh,
40:29
wait a second. It was the first time Kazam
40:31
has never been selfish. Right. Because
40:34
he always is like, I gotta grant somebody else's wish. I'm gonna do
40:36
my own thing. And that was the first time he was like, you
40:38
know what? I want the kids to live. You're my
40:40
only friend and I want you to live, yeah. But you
40:42
know what? The person you forgot through
40:44
his hole in Max's
40:47
world is his friend. He
40:49
makes a face-do at the beginning. And
40:52
then we only see the friend one more time.
40:54
And he's like, you okay? You okay? He's
40:58
like, yeah. I got a feeling there were a
41:00
lot more scenes with that kid. That kid was
41:02
like, I'm four on the call sheet. I'm so
41:04
psyched to be in this Kazam movie. I'm the
41:06
lead character's best friend. I'm all over this. Here's
41:12
something that we've known since the
41:14
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41:55
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this is something that brings other people
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42:28
to get breakfast at Shake Shack
42:30
and my kids said mom said
42:33
We can have milkshakes and I was so
42:35
tired It didn't make sense to me but
42:37
I was like if June says the kids
42:39
can have milkshakes. I'll get them milkshakes I
42:41
got a milkshake students like I never said
42:43
that and you know what I felt ripped
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That's right. Go to Harry's comm slash
43:36
bonkers. That's Harry's comm slash
43:38
bonkers for a $3 trial set
43:43
for music pirateers For
43:46
whatever counterfeiters of CDs
43:50
the bad guys have such
43:52
an easy time murdering Inclusive
43:57
of children murdering anybody
44:00
Like, this is not a
44:02
hyper-violent crime, to just be
44:04
in a warehouse making CDs,
44:06
but they have no problem
44:08
just murdering people. They're
44:12
laughing about it. You
44:14
know what though, Jason? I got the sense that
44:16
piracy was just one part of a bigger
44:19
business they were doing. You think so? You
44:21
think this is like an empire of corruption
44:23
and greed? Well, it seemed
44:25
like when they were in the basement, there were just a
44:27
lot of CDs. A lot of CDs are down there. It
44:31
almost seemed like they
44:34
were waiting for a genie to show up.
44:38
So they were trying to attract a genie so they
44:40
could make the wish to have all the money in
44:42
the world. That was like the long con. Do
44:46
you think that maybe there was an out of
44:48
version of the script where it was like drugs?
44:50
Because drugs would have been so much easier. I
44:52
think what must have happened is that Shaq said,
44:54
I need to rap in this movie. Of course. Just
44:57
shoehorned in. Because the
44:59
way we get into music piracy
45:01
and the understanding of this crime
45:03
is so convoluted and so strange.
45:06
Well, yes, the valuable thing is,
45:08
like we said, live recordings of
45:11
rap artists. And the
45:13
only reason why Shazam, or because I'm sorry,
45:17
K-Zam, gets popular is because the brat
45:19
in the middle of her show does
45:21
what all rappers do, points
45:23
at someone in the crowd and goes, now you rap. Now
45:27
it's your turn. In her
45:29
defense, it wasn't just anyone she
45:31
pointed to. Right, it was him.
45:33
It was a seven-foot-six-tall man. With
45:35
a giant boobox, yeah. And
45:38
then he took that lead. And
45:40
overnight, first of all, everyone wants his
45:42
autograph after that performance. They want his
45:44
autograph. And he becomes Class
45:47
K immediately. They call him
45:49
Class K. Wait, I didn't catch
45:51
that. What was that? That's the second that
45:53
he's performing, because them is called Class K.
45:55
That's his rap name. He
45:57
doesn't go by K-Zam. Cuz
46:02
Am would have been a great rap name. What? What
46:05
are you telling me? You're saying
46:08
he's like, okay, here I am, Cuz Am. Now
46:10
I'm a rapper, I guess I gotta come up with a rap
46:12
name. Your name is like this. I can't
46:15
use Cuz Am, that's just my normal
46:17
name. It
46:19
has a boy and a Z in
46:21
it. I
46:24
am thinking about the movie. There are so many plots
46:26
and I feel like it's a good movie. His rap
46:28
name is Gary. That's
46:31
the only way it would make sense. If
46:34
his rap name was like Gary Smith. I
46:38
was thinking there are so many
46:40
plots in this, watching that movie Timecode, because
46:42
I feel like I've checked out of certain
46:44
ones. There's one whole plot of the club
46:47
owner, Cuz Am and the girl, that's
46:49
going on in the limo in their night because I
46:51
think he's orchestrating Cuz Am's career. Then
46:53
there's another plot. He wants Cuz Am,
46:56
oh sorry, he wants it later. He
46:58
wants to make more than Michelin. He
47:01
wanted, when he did the Nubian Eyeballs,
47:03
he wanted his rapper, right? He was on, remember he
47:05
says like, everyone has a secret, your job is
47:07
to find out his secret. He was on to him. Cuz
47:11
Am at the boom
47:13
box, a little glow diamond, he had
47:15
a table and he kept trying to
47:18
catch it. And then he's like,
47:20
I got it. No, there's nothing there.
47:23
And then he's like, that guy seems
47:25
to be able to admit imaginary diamonds,
47:28
so I should become his friend by feeding
47:30
him Godeyeballs. Nubian
47:33
Godeyeballs. And
47:35
is he dating the lady? Well that's another
47:37
plot one that seems very underdeveloped. Well she has
47:39
an interesting journey because all of
47:42
a sudden out of nowhere, she
47:44
seems to really care about Mac.
47:46
Yeah. Yes. Oh yeah. And
47:49
then at the end when she's,
47:52
spoiler alert, when they're walking away,
47:54
Cuz Am, and he's
47:56
like, I haven't worked in 5,000 years. He's
47:59
like, well you better get used to it. Like I'm like,
48:01
well is she also a genie? Because
48:04
she says you don't get it. You don't have control
48:06
here. Like she seems to be in the know Right,
48:09
and maybe he was totally upfront with her Gin
48:14
does the app to work cuz in the ginger's be like
48:16
give me a million dollars and eat a habit No,
48:19
cuz she's telling him you're getting a job So
48:22
is he a human being at the art? I
48:25
don't know You know, he
48:27
was giving up all of his power. You know,
48:29
he did you know why cuz he got married
48:36
That's what it felt like Oh
49:00
My god, I am single I Feel
49:05
like I feel like we should get into the
49:07
audience here and see what
49:10
questions the audience has You're
49:12
keeping track Jason has no
49:14
children married
49:18
All right questions here from the
49:20
audience your name what you
49:23
would name Kazam as a
49:25
rapper and your question. I Have
49:28
no idea. I think
49:30
class K is pretty good. Okay great
49:33
My name is Sarah Did anybody
49:35
else notice during one of the
49:38
scenes when Kazam is talking to max? He
49:40
mentions that Jesus is basically a genie.
49:42
Oh I
49:44
do remember that now It
49:48
was so shocking and another biblical character
49:50
who I don't remember but he said
49:52
Jesus is a genie. Yeah Wow
49:58
This kid's movie got dark Yeah,
50:03
so I guess Shaq really
50:05
is breaking it down early on.
50:07
Okay, yes. It's like one of
50:09
the wishes was to turn water
50:11
into wine and he's like,
50:14
I can do that. And
50:16
somebody was like, oh, I wish Lazarus was
50:18
still alive. And he's like, done. Bingo.
50:22
Well, for pointing out that fact, I'm going to give you this
50:24
great book that I really love. It's
50:26
called The Great Showdown's The Revenge by Scott C. I
50:28
wrote the introduction to it, it's really awesome, he's amazing.
50:31
It's really good to get that book. All right, you sir, what do
50:34
you got? Your name, your Kazan name.
50:36
What do you think the dad does? Oh yeah, that's good too. Your
50:38
name, what do you think the dad does? Okay,
50:42
and your question. What
50:44
do you think the dad does? My
50:47
name's Rob. I think the dad
50:49
just runs a warehouse party day in
50:51
and day out. They
50:54
show up in the middle of the day and that's when Debrat's
50:56
there. That's true, it's daytime. Well, it
50:58
was the 90s, so it was different. True.
51:03
So late in the movie, Max kind of
51:05
has a breakdown. He's really upset about everything
51:07
and he's like, I'm going to show them
51:09
all, I'm going to show them all. Like,
51:11
maybe I'll become a personal assistant. I
51:13
heard that. Max
51:19
says, I heard
51:21
that. Oh, it was amazing.
51:24
Yeah, that was a weird moment because
51:27
Jaquille at that point became an image
51:29
on the ceiling, like a
51:31
constellation on the ceiling and was
51:33
talking to him as a two-dimensional,
51:35
a one-dimensional person. The only
51:37
thing I can, I don't know, come up with
51:40
is that the dad had a personal assistant who
51:42
he also seemed to beat up from time to
51:44
time, but who seemed sort of like a son
51:46
figure to him. So I don't know, maybe he
51:48
just thought that was a job that was open
51:51
and he were close
51:53
to this father. Everyone knows the
51:55
power is the personal assistant to
51:57
the biggest. They know everything. Yeah,
51:59
exactly. All right, sir,
52:01
what do you think the dad does, your name and your question?
52:04
Brad, I think the dad, I agree
52:07
the dad's like a talent
52:09
relation guy. In
52:11
observation, the friend, the make
52:14
a face friend, that's the director's son. Oh!
52:18
Oh! Well, well, well. I like that.
52:21
By the way, his son wasn't good enough to actually get the
52:23
bigger part of Max. So
52:30
at the very end of the credits,
52:32
it says it's dedicated to three people.
52:35
Is this somebody? Somebody? I
52:37
didn't look it up or anything if they were his children,
52:39
but I just started to think I was like, if I
52:41
was his child, I'd
52:43
be like, it's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
52:46
Don't waste your time on this one. You don't
52:48
have to dedicate this to me. You
52:52
guys seem like you have a partnership here that you need this
52:54
in front of... No. All right,
52:56
quick thing. All right, quick thing. Touch
52:59
my hand on the mic. I'll hold the mic to
53:01
your face. You talk into it. Those
53:04
bullies sodomize him with a key. And
53:06
it... What? Oh, right. They
53:09
said they'll put the key up his ass, right? Where
53:12
it will only fit. When he comes home,
53:14
he doesn't have any bruises, so all they
53:17
did was sodomize him with the key.
53:20
Well, he has a little bit on his face because
53:22
his mother's like, what happened to your face? What
53:24
happened to you? But I think makeup was not,
53:26
again... Yeah, they're not... Shaq
53:29
is a sweaty mess. They couldn't do any... Do
53:32
you think his butt is a safe?
53:38
By the way, there was
53:41
something about Max that I loved too,
53:43
which is like, his mom's like, have
53:45
this OJ. He's like, ew. What kid
53:47
doesn't like OJ? Like,
53:50
he's like, I need these pancakes or waffles.
53:52
He's like, ew. It's not like
53:54
his mom was trying to feed him health food. It
53:56
was like, he's like the most kid-friendly
53:58
food. We didn't even talk... about that scene
54:00
how they ate the French toast behind the
54:03
mom's back. The
54:05
flying French toast. And
54:08
then he had to make more. The kid won't eat it so he
54:11
makes the French toast fly into
54:13
his mouth in one whole bite
54:15
and almost killed, I mean I feel like the
54:18
mom's... That was a deadly serving. How
54:22
about when the bad guy, when the main bad
54:24
guy is like you're gonna do what I want
54:26
or maybe he's gonna wake up dead. What?
54:33
I get it, you are foreign and the
54:35
villain but what
54:37
people are dead by definition that means they do
54:39
not wake up. Alright
54:42
ma'am your name, your
54:44
Kazam rap name if you have one
54:47
and your question. Hi my name is
54:50
Julia and my Kazam
54:52
rap name would be Shaquille
54:54
O'Neal. Did
54:56
you write that down or are you just consulting your notes?
54:58
I'm making it. She does
55:00
have a lot of notes and I'm very happy about
55:02
this. I know how you like your notes. Okay
55:05
I'd like to turn this around onto the panel.
55:08
When it comes to sharing a race car
55:10
twin size bed with Shaquille O'Neal would
55:12
you prefer to be big or little spoon?
55:16
Wow amazing question you're gonna get one of these great
55:18
showdown books too. I would
55:20
like somebody to start a tumblr where
55:23
all of you can just post images
55:25
of your notes for these movies. I
55:32
would like to be, wait wait which is
55:34
big and which is little? Would
55:36
you like to be spooned or spoon? I
55:38
would like to be spooned. I always like
55:43
to be big spooned. Wait
55:45
which is big? Big spoon is the
55:47
one who is doing this for me.
55:49
I like to be spooned. Hey what's
55:51
happening? Guys,
56:01
spoon for us right now. Guys,
56:04
let's take a poll and everybody in
56:06
the room split up by preference of
56:08
spooning. Left hand side
56:10
of the room, spoonies, and
56:13
then we're all going to run at each other. Whoever
56:17
we spoon with is remaded
56:19
for life. Let's
56:22
just make this decision now and not
56:24
look back. Okay,
56:27
where do you fall? Spoonie or spooner? I
56:30
like to spoon the person and for
56:32
10 seconds I'd be done. I actually
56:34
think it's interesting. I think most men
56:36
like to be spooned and
56:38
I think most women like to do the spooning.
56:40
Paul? Okay, well I'm agreeing
56:43
with June. If there's a Shaquille Neil in
56:45
my bed, I would want
56:47
him to envelop me in every way.
56:52
I want to be the little spoon
56:54
to Shaquille's big spoon. Scoop
56:56
me up. Scoop
56:59
me away in that race car bed to Dreamland.
57:05
Never end. All right, who
57:07
else has a good question? You have a great question.
57:09
I have to tell you. All right, your name, your
57:11
Shaquille Neil rap name and your question. My
57:13
name's Latoya. I have a really tasteful name,
57:15
Magic K, it's pretty two point. I
57:19
have one point to make and then my question, it
57:21
wasn't just the brat performing, it was Salt and
57:23
Pepper Spinderella. Okay, very good point. Yes. Very
57:26
good point. Thank you. And that's why
57:28
it would probably be worth a million dollars. Maybe
57:31
it was a collab. That doesn't often
57:33
happen. Not a cool half a mil
57:35
normal Debrat show. No. It started
57:37
as 50,000. I
57:39
remember hearing 50,000, don't lose this tape,
57:42
50,000 and then other
57:44
genie was like it's worth a million dollars.
57:47
That's a big jump. That's a huge jump. All right,
57:49
your question. When you have the N in Salt and
57:51
Pepper then you do that. Yeah, that is big. Well
57:54
my question is, if you could recast
57:56
Shaq with another 90s basketball player, who would it
57:58
be? obviously.
58:02
Dennis Rodman as the genie. Who
58:04
else? All right so 90 basketball
58:06
player. Well I would go, who
58:08
played Grandma Ma? Who is the Grandma Ma
58:10
guy? Larry Jones. Carl
58:12
Malone. Oh no it's easy.
58:14
Larry Bird. Done
58:21
and done. Larry Bird.
58:25
Don't change a line of dialogue.
58:29
I am here to say I will give
58:31
Larry Bird 500,000 dollars to do a shot for shot
58:33
remake of Kazam. And
58:42
I want the kid who played Max, no matter
58:44
how old he is now, to
58:46
play Max. I
58:49
would say Muggsy Buggs because Muggsy Buggs is
58:51
probably smaller than Max in size. So I
58:53
think it would be the reverse where Max
58:55
would be the big and then Muggsy Buggs
58:57
would be a small. All
59:00
right so that's a good question in the back. All
59:02
right yes your name, your check, rap name and your
59:04
question. My name's Jake, I
59:06
would be Kazant. All
59:09
right I felt it felt, yeah
59:11
you can't rap. Okay
59:14
I just I was wondering if
59:16
anybody else picked up when Sam goes to
59:18
his, to
59:21
meet up with his dad. He goes
59:23
into that party, the woman that ends up dating,
59:25
I'm sorry Max, thank you. Bro,
59:27
get it together. The
59:31
woman that Shaq ends
59:33
up dating does like a
59:35
lock eye with him and
59:37
like straight up like he's like wants to
59:39
fuck him. Who the
59:41
dad? You go to a POV shot and they're like
59:45
this is whoever she is and she is
59:47
straight up just, so she's, I'm
59:49
just I'm wondering maybe that's
59:53
why she cares so much about him later. Because
59:56
it's a sexual and intense sexual
59:58
attraction. Max is her
1:00:00
son? Oh wait, you
1:00:03
say he did to Max, so that's your child. Max, so do
1:00:05
you say to Max? No, Max is dad I think. Wait,
1:00:08
who are you saying? He's saying
1:00:10
that the woman that's killing the offensive
1:00:12
kid, she looks at him like she
1:00:14
wants to fuck the kids. No, I
1:00:16
did not. I think you misread
1:00:18
that. I think
1:00:20
you misread that. Hey guy, I think that says
1:00:22
more about you than about
1:00:24
the movie. We're
1:00:27
going to do a quick palate cleanser here,
1:00:29
ma'am. Your name, your rap
1:00:31
name for Shaquille and your question. My
1:00:34
name is Liz. Can I say what I think the dad
1:00:36
does? Yeah, of course. I think whatever it is, it's the
1:00:38
same job that Mariah Carey's boyfriend did
1:00:40
in Glitter. Oh, that's a good
1:00:42
call. And so I was wondering, if
1:00:44
he's been away for either 3,000 or 5,000 years because I heard both,
1:00:49
how does he know who Thomas Jefferson is, let
1:00:52
alone Jesus? Yeah, and he talks about Elvis
1:00:54
I think at one point too, or John Wayne.
1:00:56
He definitely mentions those two. Yeah, that's
1:00:58
a mystery. I wonder if
1:01:01
learning goes on in the bottle. Yeah,
1:01:03
how much knowledge is there? I mean
1:01:05
the boom box had a radio. Let
1:01:11
me see, that's a good question. Yeah,
1:01:13
I'm still curious about what's inside that
1:01:15
genie bottle in general. He
1:01:18
doesn't seem to talk about it like it's an
1:01:21
awful exhibit. And I'm also trying to remember,
1:01:23
when genies get out of their lamp, do they
1:01:25
need to then carry the lamps around with them?
1:01:29
I don't think so. Only if they're going back into
1:01:31
it and need it. I do think they need to
1:01:33
know where it is. At all times. Probably.
1:01:38
What I forgot, normally when you see the bottle, the
1:01:40
bottle is like this
1:01:42
big. Yeah. And Shaq's was...
1:01:46
Shaq's was a big bottle. Well
1:01:48
Shaq, as evidenced in the movie, is an
1:01:51
incredibly tall man. He
1:01:55
doesn't stick out at all. He could definitely put
1:01:58
him in perspective with a child in bed. head.
1:02:02
All right.
1:02:04
I was wondering if they ever made one
1:02:06
of those shack things you could stand up
1:02:08
against in your house to measure how tall
1:02:10
you are. And that's kind of what this
1:02:12
whole movie is. Yeah. All right.
1:02:15
Sir, your name, your Shaquille O'Neal rap name
1:02:17
and your question. My name
1:02:19
is Micah. Shaquille O'Neal rap
1:02:21
name would probably be MC something because
1:02:23
of the 90s. Okay. And.
1:02:26
Half an answer. MC something. I believe that
1:02:28
the father was the talent booker for the
1:02:30
club. And then his other job was pirating
1:02:32
the CDs and the $50,000 figure that came
1:02:36
up was the club owner was saying, you
1:02:38
know, we have $50,000 worth of CD blanks coming in
1:02:42
today. And I need
1:02:44
you to make the count of it because
1:02:46
then they will be worth a million dollars.
1:02:48
Are you here? Wow. It's other TV.
1:02:51
It's other TV. I got to get
1:02:54
back a book. That is
1:02:58
a lot of questions. Thank you. I like
1:03:00
that they're treating it like it's counterfeit
1:03:02
money. Like you need plates to
1:03:05
make the CDs. Like we have to get the
1:03:07
plates. So they can $50,000
1:03:09
worth of blank CDs. That's a lot.
1:03:11
You're investing a lot in this. The
1:03:14
Brack concert. Ridiculous. Is that your
1:03:16
question or just your justification? Because I don't want to cut you off
1:03:18
because you already had to. All right. Wow.
1:03:20
You gave an answer more
1:03:22
than I could. Great restraint.
1:03:24
Nailed that free throw unlike
1:03:26
Shaquille and then walked away.
1:03:30
Who believes in themselves? Here we go. Your
1:03:33
name, Shaquille rap name and question. My
1:03:35
name is free and my name is
1:03:38
genie and juice. Nice.
1:03:41
So as you guys pointed out, Max fell through
1:03:44
an extraordinary amount of floors.
1:03:47
So I'm wondering, is it possible
1:03:49
that he was fatally wounded and
1:03:52
the rest of the movie is a Jacob ladder. I
1:04:00
see where you're going. I see
1:04:02
where you're going. So you're saying the only
1:04:04
part of the movie that is real is
1:04:06
the initial meeting with the bullies in which
1:04:08
he goes into the abandoned house, he falls
1:04:10
through all the floors, and the rest of
1:04:12
the movie is the last few moments of
1:04:14
his life ebbing out of
1:04:17
his body and he's imagining that
1:04:19
whole rest of the movie. If
1:04:21
that were the case, he's mentally
1:04:24
insane. Five stars. Five stars. What
1:04:28
if, I'm going to pause it one more theory,
1:04:30
how about the second time he falls down the
1:04:32
elevator shaft, the end is
1:04:34
the Jacob ladder scenario, which is he lived
1:04:36
the entire thing, but he never came out
1:04:38
of it. He only imagined Jaquille getting free
1:04:40
and the life and everything like that. That
1:04:43
would justify it. Ooh, that would be amazing.
1:04:46
When he falls the second time,
1:04:48
because I really do think he's
1:04:50
a genie, the other guy, they
1:04:53
don't touch him, right? He just kind of is like,
1:04:56
whoa. Was he running backwards or something like that? What
1:04:58
happened? He throws him off of- Doesn't he hit him
1:05:00
with the boom bow? No, you're right. He did throw
1:05:03
him. He throws him. I think he tossed him. Oh,
1:05:05
he hit him with the boom box. Or something like that. I thought
1:05:07
he tossed him right off. Did he toss him?
1:05:09
I had him in his head. Did he toss him, audience? Yes.
1:05:12
What, he tossed him right off there? I
1:05:14
do remember him tossing him, yeah. Well, that
1:05:16
kid should have better balance. Okay. Where else?
1:05:19
Yeah. Okay, this guy. How does the kid keep
1:05:21
getting into the club? Wait,
1:05:24
wait. That kid should not be allowed in that
1:05:26
club. That kid needs to go everywhere. And
1:05:28
he's gone all night. His mom's like, don't
1:05:30
do that again. He's like the
1:05:32
king of New York City. Yeah. And
1:05:35
then those bullies are trying to get in the club too.
1:05:38
And even when he's trying to be cool in front of those
1:05:40
bullies, they don't believe he had that- that he had the lanyard,
1:05:42
right? They're like, that's bullshit. You don't have that.
1:05:45
Like, yeah, he's wearing it. Like,
1:05:47
there's nothing in this movie that makes sense. Like,
1:05:49
they're like, at that point, the bullies should be
1:05:51
like, whoa, cool. You got into the club. No.
1:05:54
They're like, fuck you. There's seven of a T up
1:05:56
your ass. Rough
1:05:58
neighborhood. Oh yeah. the beginning I forgot about
1:06:01
this. Doesn't he tell the boys like there's gold
1:06:03
in a locker? Yeah, and he lied to him
1:06:05
so that made him real mad. Alright
1:06:07
sir, your name, your Shaquille rap name
1:06:10
or father's profession in your question? My
1:06:12
name is Walker. I think his rap name should
1:06:14
be Special K. Nice.
1:06:17
Clean. Because
1:06:19
listening to him makes you pass out?
1:06:24
Well my question is, so it not only did
1:06:26
Starsky direct the movie, but he also did the
1:06:28
story. So do you think that he's plugging away
1:06:30
on Starsky and Hutch like I got this great
1:06:32
idea with Wilt Chamberlain. It's gonna be, I just
1:06:34
gotta let this grow for a little while. And
1:06:37
he finally got the cache in Hollywood to get this
1:06:39
made. Just like 30 years later. Just
1:06:44
pull out that old Wilt Chamberlain script. I
1:06:50
bet it's kind of funny to think that that was
1:06:52
his like dream project.
1:06:57
At the very beginning, I gotta say, I kind
1:06:59
of in the first 20 minutes, I was
1:07:01
like, I'm really digging this movie. I was
1:07:03
like, it kind of feels like Goonies. I
1:07:07
mean I wasn't like so sold on Max,
1:07:09
but I was like, it wasn't until Kazam
1:07:11
shows up and I was like, no, I'm
1:07:13
done. Well I agree
1:07:15
because I think the basic conceit of it,
1:07:18
like the idea that a child could have
1:07:20
a genie, could own a genie, that
1:07:22
could grant wishes is a fun
1:07:25
idea for kids to see. But he
1:07:27
doesn't use it for any of the problems that
1:07:29
they really established in the first 10 minutes. He's
1:07:32
like, I wish those bullies get embarrassed. Doesn't do
1:07:34
it for that. Doesn't use it for being cool. But
1:07:37
you know Starsky was just like, I got
1:07:41
Shaquille. Like I got Shaquille and Neil
1:07:43
in this movie. Like this is gonna be the best thing I ever
1:07:45
do in my whole career. And then Shaquille was like, oh, I need
1:07:47
to rap in the movie. And he
1:07:49
was like, fuck. You
1:07:53
need to what now? I
1:07:56
wonder if Starsky is a divorced dad.
1:08:00
writing this as like
1:08:02
from his perspective to his jit. Like
1:08:06
yeah, there are some things I need to make
1:08:09
amends for but I did it, I did it
1:08:11
for you and I made some mistakes and you
1:08:13
know what I- Sure I got involved in some
1:08:15
shady showbiz shit. But
1:08:18
I'm back on track now. All
1:08:21
right sir, your name, your skill, and your rap name and
1:08:23
your question, go ahead. My name's John, I refuse
1:08:25
to give him a name because he's so bad, I would just
1:08:28
encourage him to rap more. I
1:08:30
got quick comment and a question. Starsky
1:08:32
never directed again because of how bad this movie was.
1:08:36
Arguably. Yes. One
1:08:38
of the 50 million times Max asked for his
1:08:40
parents to get back together, Shaq's like I can't
1:08:42
do that, only jins can do that because they
1:08:45
believe in fairy tales, I don't believe in fairy
1:08:47
tales. But in the end, what is the fairy
1:08:49
tale in Max being dead and then him like being sad about
1:08:51
it? Like why does he become gin now? Mo,
1:08:55
I'll have to all think about that. We're
1:08:59
stymied. You
1:09:01
did it, you did it, you stumped us.
1:09:06
I was, did you guys think this, I
1:09:08
did think that the ending was going to
1:09:10
be, like I thought this would be the biggest fuck
1:09:12
you ending, like it should be like his parents
1:09:14
to get back together? Like I thought
1:09:16
like, and then that step that would
1:09:19
just disappear? No, instead what happens, which
1:09:21
is insanity, which is
1:09:23
in the chase in the
1:09:25
warehouse where they're making the fake CDs, which
1:09:28
is in the basement of the club, there's
1:09:30
a fire, the whole club gets on fire,
1:09:32
blah, blah, blah, blah. The kid, once again,
1:09:34
a corpse at the bottom
1:09:36
of an elevator shaft is
1:09:39
brought back to life by Shaq, become going from
1:09:41
genie to gin. Travis,
1:09:43
his stepfather, picks him up, scoops
1:09:46
the kid up, runs out with
1:09:48
him. That's not really, if
1:09:51
I could amend what you're saying. He actually,
1:09:53
he catches it. Sorry, you're right. Makes
1:09:55
it look like Travis saved Mac because you
1:09:57
can't let it know that it's cuz they.
1:10:00
who did it. So Travis is the
1:10:02
best, again I contend, the best
1:10:04
greatest guy in the whole world. He goes
1:10:06
outside, he goes outside, right, and
1:10:09
all fine and he's the fireman and that's all
1:10:11
good and they're like putting out fires and he
1:10:13
like, his dad comes
1:10:15
up gets a second chance and we
1:10:17
get the, Max is like, yeah you
1:10:20
can come to Travis who just saved my
1:10:22
life. So he says, Travis, a
1:10:25
fireman walks away from an active
1:10:27
fire. He does fire. Okay, Max,
1:10:29
this movie
1:10:34
exists in a world in where
1:10:36
Max is almost omnipotent over
1:10:38
all adults. He's like, Travis, are
1:10:41
you coming? Travis is like, uh,
1:10:44
fuck it. There's like a lot
1:10:46
of fire still. There's a lot
1:10:48
of fire. He
1:10:51
is going AWOL from his
1:10:53
job. It takes
1:10:56
him a really long time to get the
1:10:58
blanket too. Like she's like, the mom's like,
1:11:00
can you get him a blanket? It's like
1:11:02
a really long scene. And they're like, Travis,
1:11:04
where the fuck were you? He's like, you
1:11:06
don't understand. The kid finally wanted me there.
1:11:09
I just saw something here that took me in a
1:11:12
little detour. I wish I was more research. So
1:11:14
Paul Michael Glaser, the director of this,
1:11:16
directed the movie Running Man with Arnold
1:11:19
Schwarzenegger, obviously a huge hit, which I
1:11:21
would like to do on the show. But he
1:11:23
also directed the air up there.
1:11:25
A movie about another
1:11:27
large basketball player with Kevin Bacon,
1:11:29
where Kevin Bacon, it was just
1:11:32
this guy, this giant guy. He
1:11:34
did direct again. Well, this
1:11:36
is before this is like it's a
1:11:38
running man in the air up there.
1:11:40
He was Charles, Ashley Kona, Myana, and
1:11:43
he played Celia. So basically
1:11:45
a college basketball coach, Kevin Bacon goes to
1:11:47
Africa to find the next big thing. And
1:11:50
the poster is, you can't see
1:11:52
it, it's that far away, but it's a
1:11:54
very tall man with a very small man. So
1:11:57
I think maybe that was like his like, sing. like
1:12:00
he liked it like maybe you might
1:12:02
even call it a fetish i'm
1:12:06
pretty amazed at that uh...
1:12:08
okay uh... so that uh... that
1:12:10
that obviously we had an opinion about the movie but
1:12:12
there are other people out there that had a different
1:12:14
opinion is now time second
1:12:17
opinion as
1:12:21
always we come to you the audience to thing
1:12:24
the theme if someone out there has a theme
1:12:26
ready to go out run to you but if
1:12:28
not you have to all sing it again so
1:12:30
anyone have a theme ready to go anyone ready
1:12:32
to sing it by themselves going once
1:12:34
going twice all right everyone sing your
1:12:36
best rendition your own lyrics of the
1:12:38
second opinion team go all
1:12:49
right that's our second opinion theme you think you
1:12:52
guys would have rehearsed a little before the show
1:12:55
that was terrible these
1:12:58
are a second opinion cold from amazon
1:13:00
five-star reviews uh... they're all pretty short
1:13:02
but uh... i think you're this is
1:13:05
a this is by uh... mark before
1:13:08
uh... written in may of two thousand
1:13:10
fifteen simply
1:13:15
that three
1:13:17
words genie
1:13:20
movie and
1:13:25
genie is felt here like j
1:13:28
a and
1:13:30
i a like you
1:13:32
know carter that
1:13:35
is uh... but uh...
1:13:38
this is the one that i really like to
1:13:40
hear uh... okay all right
1:13:42
so uh... this
1:13:45
one is five stars by jeff
1:13:47
gone shack
1:13:50
diesel aka shakilo neil has
1:13:52
done what few professional athletes
1:13:54
have ever accomplished successfully
1:13:56
crossed over to the big big screen
1:13:58
i like the cover of the movie
1:14:01
still have yet to see the whole thing
1:14:06
but not because I didn't want to watch
1:14:08
it I just keep on
1:14:10
getting interrupted and
1:14:13
I'm starting to get a little frustrated
1:14:19
frustrated at the movie and himself
1:14:22
I feel like Shaq really likes
1:14:24
kids which is fun and I'm
1:14:27
sure this movie is fun too
1:14:29
five stars we're
1:14:35
doctor we're gonna need you back in surgery
1:14:37
right now are you serious I
1:14:44
want anybody let me finish this this
1:14:50
one is a very long one but I
1:14:53
want to just read oh man
1:14:56
all right this one I just want to read this
1:14:58
middle of it it goes it says does every movie
1:15:00
have to be this is what it's titled does every
1:15:02
movie have to be war and peace by
1:15:06
the autistic werewolf written
1:15:13
December 10th 2003 come
1:15:16
on people lighten up this movie
1:15:18
was meant to be fun nothing
1:15:20
else cuz am has
1:15:22
a cute little message of a children's
1:15:24
hope sustained in the midst of adversity
1:15:26
by a special friend and a message
1:15:28
delivered rather well cuz a
1:15:30
bad singing it's
1:15:33
just a fun is just a fun
1:15:38
remember it's one of those
1:15:40
hey genie dude don't quit your day job things
1:15:42
I'm an adult and I love this movie Shaquille
1:15:45
did a great job in it
1:15:47
Shaq gave a genie a wild
1:15:49
special turban flavor compassion and dignity
1:15:51
that's way different from all those
1:15:53
traditional genie depictions that I found
1:15:55
refreshing Shaq
1:15:57
was a hood genie everyone in the
1:15:59
hood Thanks, they're the next Ghetto
1:16:01
M.I.A. Ghetto,
1:16:04
I am a cool dude rap
1:16:06
star. Sorry, I read it wrong.
1:16:11
A hood genie living in a boombox would
1:16:13
not logically be any different from all the
1:16:15
rest of the rap star wannabes, hence the
1:16:17
movie keeps to its urban theme. Kazam's
1:16:23
for kids or the adults who've managed to
1:16:25
remain a kid at heart. Anyone
1:16:27
else who has done more than just grow up, they've
1:16:30
gotten old in the worst context.
1:16:34
There's no more fun inside of you, there's
1:16:36
no more connection to the joys and the
1:16:38
pains of youth that this movie taps into.
1:16:41
If your heart is still young, you'll
1:16:43
love Kazam. If not, I pity you.
1:16:49
And then goes, T.S. Amazon
1:16:52
sells a lot of high-tone movies too, by
1:16:54
the way. I bought a few in my
1:16:56
time, go for it. I don't know what
1:16:59
that means. Five stars. Do
1:17:01
you think that's
1:17:05
just a normal guy all
1:17:07
the time and then Full Moon comes
1:17:09
out autistic
1:17:12
werewolf? Or
1:17:14
is he an autistic guy all the
1:17:16
time, Full Moon, werewolf? We'll
1:17:19
never know. We'll never know. They're
1:17:22
the only right in the Full Moon. So
1:17:26
would you recommend watching this movie? I would say
1:17:29
yes. Would you say yes? Sort of. For
1:17:31
the rap alone, Jason, come on.
1:17:34
I would maybe speed through. I
1:17:36
would maybe fast forward during some
1:17:38
stuff. It's tedious. I
1:17:41
mean, watch the kid
1:17:44
die for sure. To
1:17:49
me, he's definitely, Shaquille
1:17:51
is very charming. I think so too. I
1:17:54
actually, having seen now two Shaquille O'Neal
1:17:56
films today, I... I
1:18:01
feel I can say with confidence. I think
1:18:03
he's doing a great job as an actor
1:18:05
and I think he has
1:18:08
some Charisma that
1:18:10
is coming through really. I'm not gonna
1:18:12
like shit on Shaquille O'Neal. I will say
1:18:14
that his go-to is yelling Yeah,
1:18:16
but I think he was trying to be like
1:18:19
powerful So his
1:18:21
present like imposing and yeah Jeannie
1:18:24
if you were to compare him to other athletes
1:18:26
and how they would have done I think he
1:18:28
like wins an offer a athletic
1:18:32
performance There's a
1:18:34
reason why Shaquille O'Neal has been in like four
1:18:36
or five movies. Yeah, I think he does have
1:18:38
it I mean now meanwhile, I was like reason
1:18:40
why Shaquille O'Neal has been in four or five
1:18:42
movies Would
1:18:45
be a lot of commercials. Would you
1:18:47
see? yelming in this
1:18:49
movie Would that
1:18:51
be the new version? I wouldn't I wouldn't want
1:18:53
to see ya know, she killed and carry it.
1:18:55
Yeah. Yeah Yeah,
1:18:58
okay I was
1:19:00
gonna ask you yummy But
1:19:03
I think I know it Okay,
1:19:06
well Before we go
1:19:08
before we go. I'm gonna play one more rap, but
1:19:10
what do we have to plug K? You're
1:19:12
an amazing writer and now a director.
1:19:14
What do you what do you want to plug? What do you
1:19:16
want to tell people about to see or watch? Watch
1:19:21
cuz they I wrote it guys I
1:19:27
Pish for victory is coming out In
1:19:31
a year and a half or whatever so that's Year
1:19:38
and a half we're gonna be like Oh Kay was
1:19:40
plugging this a year and a half ago on
1:19:42
that up it we gotta go see it Has
1:19:45
that even begun production on it? No. All right,
1:19:47
great I Go
1:19:50
baby, but I just been in the
1:19:53
first draft today actually Amazing
1:19:57
it's terrible right now It's
1:20:01
a singing movie so is there a part for
1:20:03
Shaquille? That's a great question. I can tell you
1:20:05
something. Yeah. There
1:20:09
is definitely a part for Shaquille.
1:20:11
If this brought this together in a year and
1:20:13
a half and we all go to the theater
1:20:15
and see Shaquille, we will know where this came
1:20:17
from. You guys, I'm kind of not joking. If
1:20:19
that happens, if that happens, and he's singing to
1:20:21
a crowd of people, I would like Paul June
1:20:24
and I to be in the front row of
1:20:26
that crowd. Absolutely, absolutely. By
1:20:28
the way, Shaquille was in Fresh Off the Boat. He was very good.
1:20:30
He brought the heat in Fresh Off the Boat. The
1:20:33
Miami Heat? He
1:20:35
brought the Orlando Magic. Crap.
1:20:40
It's a basketball team though, right? I don't
1:20:42
know. June, what would you...
1:20:45
You can still watch the first season
1:20:47
of Grace and Frankie on Netflix. Perfect.
1:20:50
Yeah. That's
1:20:52
it. Jason. I
1:20:54
have a very small part on a very
1:20:56
wonderful show called Transparent on
1:20:59
Amazon. Season two just
1:21:01
came out. And Kay, I'm sure
1:21:03
people can watch Pitch Perfect 2 right now
1:21:05
on iTunes, right? Oh, sure. Yeah. Check
1:21:08
that out. And Pitch Perfect 1. Sure.
1:21:10
No. But
1:21:14
you would prefer for people to
1:21:16
wait a year and a half.
1:21:18
We could not watch either. Either.
1:21:21
You understand. You're allowed to
1:21:23
talk about things from the past. Oh,
1:21:25
I did not know that. All plugs don't have to be
1:21:27
future looking. Oh, I did not know. I did not know.
1:21:30
I would like to plug, obviously, Fresh
1:21:32
Off the Boat is a fun show,
1:21:34
but also the first ever Vine series.
1:21:36
I'm the voice of White Ninja. You
1:21:38
can watch it on Vine. That's
1:21:41
a thing that happened. So
1:21:44
we did all that. And now
1:21:46
I'll say this. Shaquille, take it
1:21:49
away. Get set. Go on, my setter can't check. I see
1:21:51
what I got. It ain't about seeing what makes us work. Can you get
1:21:53
fooled over? By
1:22:02
the way, I noticed that
1:22:04
there, that somebody holds the mic, like
1:22:06
I hold the mic at this audience's
1:22:23
face, just holding the mic in front
1:22:26
of Shaquille in his face. Because he
1:22:28
has to hold the boom box, which
1:22:30
is emitting fire in a crowd. And
1:22:32
people are psyched about it. That was
1:22:34
before, uh, man, I'm not gonna
1:22:36
make a joke about that. Alright, thank
1:22:38
you guys, I didn't. I didn't.
1:22:41
I didn't. You all
1:22:43
are disgusting people. I
1:22:46
stopped. You went forward. It's
1:22:49
your fault. Big thank
1:22:51
you to everybody at Earwolf, everybody
1:22:54
here at Largo. Our interns, April Halley,
1:22:56
Mick Kiley, and Marissa Zites, thank you
1:22:58
guys so much for coming out. We
1:23:00
will do these shows again. Thank you, good night. Here
1:23:02
we go. Start
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