0:00

Dorita and Robert Mueller pulled up to their

0:02

new home, exhausted. It had been

0:04

a long road trip, from the Ozarks

0:07

in Missouri to Florida. And

0:09

now the Muellers stood famished and completely

0:11

broke in front of their new home. A

0:14

rental. One they hadn't seen before

0:16

this moment. And Dorita says

0:18

they were not impressed. It

0:20

was a small home. So the first

0:23

thought was, oh my gosh, how

0:25

are we going to get our furniture in here?

0:29

Everything they owned had filled one and a half semi-trailer

0:31

trucks. They had to fit it all into a house

0:33

half the size of what they were used to.

0:36

The property managers basically told them to

0:38

hurry up and move in. And they told

0:40

us in a couple of days we had to have everything

0:43

unpacked and put away. And we're

0:45

like, are you kidding me? But

0:47

they had some assistance. Homestagers.

0:51

People whose job it is to make homes on the market look beautiful.

0:54

They were on hand to help the Muellers arrange their

0:56

furniture in just the right places, to

0:58

make everything look good. And not just

1:01

good. Perfect.

1:03

After they were in, it was up to Dorita and Robert

1:05

to keep the place looking tidy. Because

1:07

the property manager could pop by for a surprise

1:10

inspection any time.

1:12

And they did. They would show up and

1:14

inspect their house, room by room,

1:17

practically inch by inch. In

1:19

fact, this was how strict they were.

1:22

They found one piece of paper

1:25

that my son had wrinkled up and threw away

1:27

in the office. And they found that

1:29

and marked us down on that. Oh my gosh.

1:32

What were the consequences of that? Well,

1:34

they'd write you up. And if you

1:36

had three write-ups, you were out of the program.

1:39

Oh wow, that's really stressful.

1:42

I mean,

1:42

it was. Dorita

1:47

and Robert had signed up to live a very different

1:49

kind of home life. A home where perfection

1:52

was the norm. A home where they could

1:54

be asked to move out with a week's notice. A

1:57

home that would never be theirs to own.

2:00

that would show them both what mattered

2:02

in life and what didn't when

2:04

you've lost everything except your family

2:06

and a truck and a half full of furniture. This

2:11

is Home Made,

2:12

an original podcast by Rocket Mortgage about

2:14

the meaning of homes and what we can learn about

2:16

ourselves in them. I am Stephanie Fu.

2:19

In this episode, When Your Home Is

2:21

Just For Show.

2:27

Hello listeners of Home Made. Find out how

2:29

you could get up to $2,000 off

2:31

home buying costs from Rocket Mortgage.

2:34

Hear more at the end of the episode.

2:39

In her teens,

2:42

Dorita's family moved to a 50-acre

2:44

farm in Greenville, Illinois. She

2:47

lived in a big house and spent lots

2:49

of time outside. We'll play basketball

2:52

or tennis, go swim in the big pool,

2:54

or walk around the small lake. Her

2:57

dad called this place Secret Acres.

3:01

And of course, we had horses, and so

3:03

that's something else you would see a teenage Dorita

3:05

do. A lot of times I would just go

3:08

back and

3:08

groom my horse just to be

3:10

with them. In the

3:12

summer, the family would holiday in a small

3:14

condo in Lake of the Ozarks. They

3:17

owned other properties too, including a second

3:19

horse farm

3:20

not far from home.

3:24

The family was wealthy, but Dorita

3:26

didn't really care about that. She was

3:28

devoutly religious, and her commitment

3:31

to her faith mattered more than anything else.

3:34

I have been a Christian all my life.

3:36

I got saved when I was five and

3:39

got to see God do

3:41

a lot of miracles and wonderful things. And

3:43

when she was 28, she met a young

3:45

pastor named Robert in a church parking

3:48

lot.

3:49

He had a great smile and real

3:51

friendly, real outgoing, great character,

3:54

and also had a very strong relationship

3:57

with God. I definitely

3:59

felt attracted.

3:59

to that about him very much

4:02

so. Robert owned a small bungalow

4:04

in Belleville, about an hour from Secret

4:06

Acres. They were married within the year

4:09

and she moved in. She exchanged

4:11

a life of luxury for a life of

4:13

faith. They started a family

4:15

and had three boys. Robert says they

4:17

would visit her parents regularly.

4:20

What did it feel like for you to visit?

4:23

I was like entering a different world, especially

4:26

when it snowed. It was the most gorgeous

4:28

sight to look out over the atrium

4:31

windows and to see

4:33

the snow covering, the hillsides.

4:36

Oh yes, the atrium was spectacular.

4:39

I remember Christmases

4:42

sitting out there and looking out over

4:44

the lake, hoping that the water

4:46

would freeze so we could ice skate.

4:48

Yeah. Robert often talked

4:51

with his father-in-law about finances and

4:53

all that he'd amassed. His businesses,

4:56

his properties, his investments.

4:58

One of the things that Dre just talked about,

5:01

the zookeeper who would feed the lions in

5:03

hopes that they wouldn't eat him. And that's

5:05

how he saw having a lot of things. He

5:07

said, eventually you're controlled by the things

5:10

you own and you have to count

5:12

the cost before you buy something.

5:14

This piece of advice would prove true

5:17

soon enough.

5:18

In the 1990s, both of Dorita's

5:20

parents died a year apart.

5:24

Dorita

5:24

shared the inheritance with her brother. The big house in

5:26

Greenville, Secret Acres, went to her.

5:29

So did the horse farm and a handful of other

5:31

properties. Dorita

5:35

and Robert grabbed the boys and moved into her childhood

5:37

home. And overnight, their

5:40

lifestyle changed. The

5:42

big house was a little bit different.

5:45

And overnight, their lifestyle changed.

5:48

They were rich.

5:51

Over the next few years, they took advice

5:53

from family friends and tried to invest their

5:55

money wisely. They converted the

5:58

horse farm into a bed and breakfast and called it a day.

5:59

green pastures. They bought a vacation

6:02

home in Mexico. For Robert's birthday,

6:05

Dorita had a hot tub installed in the

6:07

atrium. The kind with all the bells

6:09

and whistles. And oh my

6:11

goodness, seventh heaven.

6:13

And that was exciting. It

6:17

was all very exciting, not

6:19

just the hot tub.

6:20

While they enjoyed this lavish life, the

6:23

Molars also believed that there was a higher

6:25

purpose for this newfound wealth.

6:28

It was like it was ours for a reason, for

6:31

God to help us be a blessing to

6:33

other people. And also to enjoy. And

6:36

there were people that we helped,

6:38

gave to, provided for,

6:41

to help them better their lives as

6:43

well.

6:44

Robert continued to pastor at a small congregation,

6:46

and Dorita often helped. It was an hour's

6:49

drive away now though, so it took more of their time.

6:52

And then there were three growing boys at home that

6:54

needed raising. And all

6:56

of the properties that demanded their

6:58

attention.

6:59

At one time we had seven

7:02

homes. And I'd like to say as

7:04

a multiple home owner, that

7:07

it's not all it's cracked up to be. I mean,

7:09

there's a lot to maintain and do when

7:12

you own property. It was

7:14

overwhelming. So Robert stepped

7:17

away from his ministry work to focus on his

7:19

family and their investments.

7:24

As they settled into this new reality, a sense

7:26

of unease grew in Robert. Secret

7:29

acres felt like it wasn't his. It

7:31

didn't feel like home. There

7:34

was nothing there for me ministry-wise.

7:36

I was just maintaining

7:38

another man's vision. And it never

7:41

ended. As

7:41

soon as you fix a portion

7:44

of the fences for the horses, they'd

7:46

be eroded and broken again in another

7:49

area. Constant maintenance, constant

7:51

upkeep. I enjoyed being there

7:53

because it was a fabulous place, but

7:55

it wasn't my dream or my vision.

7:58

Robert and Dorita?

9:52

dining

10:00

table,

10:01

designer office chairs, Persian

10:03

rugs.

10:04

A giant four-poster bed

10:07

with bamboo and brass. We'd

10:09

never had such nice furniture.

10:12

They

10:12

moved in 2005.

10:14

But this place where they belonged

10:16

came with a huge price tag.

10:19

I remember we couldn't hardly believe

10:22

what we had just done. Like, did we really

10:25

buy a million-dollar home? Yes,

10:28

we did.

10:30

They needed to make some decisions.

10:32

Like Dorita's dad had said,

10:33

you have to count the cost before you buy something.

10:36

It was expensive, but our plan

10:38

was to sell some of the other assets that

10:40

we had and have that as one main

10:42

asset.

10:45

To pay for their new home, selling

10:47

the Secret Acres property seemed like the most

10:49

obvious choice. Because it'll

10:52

be like an exchange, that property

10:54

for this property. But

10:57

what happened was that property in Greenville never

10:59

sold.

11:00

They miscalculated. Secret

11:03

Acres was a nice property, but

11:05

it was in a small town that didn't appeal

11:07

to enough buyers. It sat on the market

11:10

without any offers. That was only the

11:12

beginning of their problems.

11:13

We had made an investment at that time

11:16

that we had felt like we

11:18

were gonna be able to get enough income from that.

11:21

But that didn't happen the

11:23

way we thought. And it just

11:25

kept spiraling.

11:26

We were stretched in a lot of different ways.

11:29

And eventually, our funds

11:33

dwindled because we're

11:35

trying to maintain everything. Then

11:37

came the 2008 financial crisis. I

11:40

mean, we lost when everybody

11:42

else lost. I'm not gonna say it wasn't

11:45

difficult.

11:46

It was difficult. It was one thing right

11:48

after the next, but we just

11:51

trust God and move through.

11:53

It was a bad time to

11:55

be selling real estate, but they

11:57

didn't have a choice. They needed to show up.

11:59

some of their properties.

12:01

They parceled off green pastures, their bed and

12:03

breakfast, and they sold the lots.

12:06

Dorita's

12:06

brother bought secret acres. It

12:08

helped, but they weren't getting ahead.

12:11

It was like we didn't lose,

12:13

but we didn't gain.

12:14

You know what I mean? We were to Stephen. Even

12:17

Stephen on that.

12:20

They

12:20

limped along for the next three, four

12:22

years. Their finances got

12:24

so bad, they started worrying about whether

12:26

they could even cover their food bills. This

12:29

one day, we went to the

12:31

grocery store there, and

12:34

we were trying to figure out what are we going to eat.

12:37

We had bought a few things. We thought at

12:39

the last minute, oh, we need a bag of beans.

12:42

We really didn't have much money. Digging

12:44

in our car and digging in

12:46

my purse. Wow. Mm-hmm. It got

12:49

to be that bad. Oh, yes.

12:51

Oh, my goodness, yes.

12:53

We lived in a million-dollar home, so

12:56

nobody would have ever dreamed in

12:58

a million years that we would

13:00

be struggling.

13:01

Some of their friends helped however they could,

13:04

like the owners of their favorite Thai restaurant.

13:06

She provided meals for

13:09

us. She didn't charge us. She took

13:11

us to her back storage and gave us

13:13

all kinds of things, from toilet paper

13:16

to meat to other

13:18

foods. It had to be $300 or $400 worth of, you know, grocery

13:22

items that she gave to us.

13:24

And her husband was so sweet, he had a container

13:27

of tips that were in a jar beside

13:30

him, and he dumped all those tips in our

13:32

hands, and he said, you guys, here, you take

13:34

this.

13:36

I mean, how

13:38

do you explain things like that? Just

13:42

God reaching down to let us know how much he

13:44

loved us through someone

13:46

else. He still had our backs.

13:49

Burita felt the same, but she felt

13:51

humbled, too.

13:52

I think one of the hardest things for me is

13:54

that all my life,

13:56

finances were not a huge struggle

13:59

for me.

13:59

I was always blessing

14:02

my friends, and I just thought

14:04

it was always my place to always pay

14:06

for every meal. What was hard for me

14:08

is whenever friends started having

14:11

to help me, I

14:12

was not used to that. Robert

14:15

and Dorita were now living that old saying,

14:18

house rich, cash poor.

14:20

Only now,

14:21

they weren't even house rich. The only

14:23

thing left to do was sell the Ozark home.

14:27

And so we had to do

14:29

a short sale on the home at the lake and

14:32

sold it for less than what I

14:34

owed them. And that

14:36

was really hurtful.

14:38

Right, that was your forever home. Yeah,

14:41

definitely. Tell me a little bit more

14:43

about that feeling of having

14:45

to give up that dream. I

14:49

think frustration, maybe more

14:51

embarrassment. Yeah, because none

14:53

of us want to feel like we've made mistakes or

14:55

that I've failed.

15:00

Because your father had built the family fortune

15:02

with his own bootstraps, was

15:04

it difficult to watch everything

15:07

that he had built just sort of dwindle

15:10

away? Yes, that's

15:12

always been hard for me because that's

15:14

why I wanted to be such a good steward of

15:16

everything. It was heartbreaking to

15:18

realize that all that money had, you

15:21

know, just almost like poof

15:23

disappeared.

15:24

And feeling like I let my

15:26

dad down. I had to

15:28

give myself just a

15:30

good talking to that, to read everything

15:33

you did, you were trying

15:34

to keep the finances

15:37

in the family. You were trying to make all the right

15:39

decisions.

15:43

The

15:43

house sat on the market for months before they found a buyer

15:46

and agreed to that short sale. In

15:48

that time, Robert and Dorita wondered where

15:50

they would go. Friends mentioned a church

15:52

in Florida that needed a pastor. That

15:55

felt like the right move.

15:56

Because we're Christians

15:59

and we're trusting. in the Lord, trusting

16:01

in God. And after so many

16:03

years of not being in ministry, I

16:06

was really looking forward to it and to a

16:08

new life in Florida.

16:10

And it's kind of crazy

16:12

because we absolutely knew nothing

16:14

about Florida and definitely not

16:17

Tampa Bay Area at all. Buying

16:20

a home was off the table. They'd

16:23

have to rent. Even then, money

16:25

would be tight. They still had their furniture, though.

16:28

That wasn't part of the short sale. If

16:30

they sold that, there'd

16:31

be more cash for the move. But

16:33

a realtor they knew had another idea.

16:37

She saw the picture of all of our furnishings

16:39

and she said, don't sell your furnishings.

16:42

Don't you dare sell that furniture.

16:45

She said, I can use that furniture to get

16:47

you guys into an amazing show

16:50

home. And I was like, what's

16:52

a show home? Do tell.

16:56

As strange as it might have been, the

16:58

idea made sense to them. Living in a

17:00

show home would let them continue living in

17:02

a big, beautiful house rather than a small

17:04

apartment. Their lifestyle wouldn't

17:07

have to change very much.

17:08

There would still be room for friends and family to visit.

17:11

We love that. We love entertaining. But

17:14

better yet,

17:15

if they agreed to live in these show homes and

17:17

stage with their own furniture, they'd get

17:19

a break on rent. Then instead

17:21

of you living in a rental home that

17:23

would be $3,000 a month, it'd be more like $1,500

17:26

a month.

17:27

That sounded very good to us.

17:30

So that was the appeal.

17:32

After losing their dream home, they could

17:34

still play house.

17:39

In April of 2012, the Molars loaded

17:41

up one and a half 18-wheelers with

17:44

their boxes and their designer furniture

17:46

and moved to Tampa.

17:48

It was a nice home and a nice

17:50

community. But it was older

17:52

and it was dirty. The rugs had dirty

17:55

spots that hadn't been cleaned.

17:57

I was kind of disgruntled.

17:59

I'm really not sure I want

18:02

to live here. We didn't even know how we

18:04

were going to pay to be there. And their comment

18:06

was, wait till we decorate it, and

18:08

then tell us what you think. So

18:10

I did. And when they finished decorating

18:13

it with all of our furnishings.

18:14

I mean, they surprised us. And

18:16

they showed us how they could take an old home

18:19

that looked like, are you kidding?

18:21

Who would want to live here? And

18:23

take our furniture and turn it into,

18:26

oh my gosh.

18:26

Oh my gosh. It was

18:29

like night and day difference.

18:32

And of course, that's what sold homes. They would

18:34

use our furnishings to make a home sing

18:37

like that. There's a generally

18:40

accepted idea in real estate that a home is

18:42

more likely to sell when it's nicely furnished

18:44

and feels lived in.

18:46

That was the philosophy behind the In Home

18:48

House Manager Program, Dorita and Robert had

18:50

signed up for. It was like, OK,

18:53

so this is going to be a new adventure. A

18:56

new adventure, sure. And a lot

18:58

of work too. Because the house

19:00

can't feel too lived in. It

19:03

had to be immaculate.

19:04

Dorita took that to heart. You

19:07

cannot have people walking

19:09

into a show home, and you've got clothes everywhere

19:12

and dishes piled up in the sink. So there was

19:14

never dishes in the sink. They always went straight

19:16

in the dishwasher. We never had laundry

19:19

put on top of our washer or dryer. It

19:21

was always in the washer, in the dryer,

19:24

or hung up.

19:24

You couldn't even have your shampoo out in the

19:26

shower. You couldn't have your soap sitting

19:29

out. So we just had a little caddy with all

19:31

your shower stuff, which had to go under

19:33

the cabinetry. So it wasn't sitting

19:35

out.

19:36

The mirrors always gleamed. The

19:38

floors always shined. The

19:40

windows always streak

19:42

free. The way they

19:45

decorated everything had to stay

19:47

specifically that way. Everything

19:49

turned just right and attention

19:52

getting. You've got plants. You've

19:54

got books. You've got candles.

19:57

You could not move it other

19:59

than to clean.

19:59

under it and put it back. They

20:02

lived like ghosts,

20:04

constantly making sure there was no trace

20:06

that a family actually lived there.

20:09

You feel like you're living in

20:11

a magazine, Better

20:13

Homes and Gardens kind of a thing. That

20:16

seems like a tremendous amount of pressure.

20:18

Like, I mean, maybe I'm kind of a filthy

20:21

animal, but I could not keep my house

20:24

perfect all the time

20:25

where people could just come in and

20:28

look at it. You just kind of get used to

20:30

a certain lifestyle of keeping it clean.

20:32

And keep it clean, they did.

20:35

When that crumpled piece of paper was found

20:37

in the garbage, the one that got them written up

20:39

in that first inspection, in that first home, Dorita

20:42

ensured it would be the last.

20:44

So have you only gotten that one

20:46

strike? Yes. Wow.

20:49

Yep, that's the only one.

20:51

I've always believed in doing an excellent job

20:53

in everything I do, over the top. And

20:56

if it didn't shine, I didn't want it to be

20:58

my fault that it didn't shine.

21:01

Her otherwise perfect inspection record

21:03

didn't go unnoticed.

21:05

Within a couple of years, Dorita would be hired

21:07

by the company to supervise other house managers

21:09

in the program.

21:12

Meanwhile, Robert's pastorship at the church

21:14

wasn't bringing in much. The congregation

21:17

was new and it was small, and they

21:19

didn't have much money to offer him.

21:22

What began as a $300 a week payment fell to $30.

21:25

And you

21:27

know, $30 a week was just enough for

21:29

gas to make it there. He'd

21:31

eventually step down and they both found

21:33

other work wherever they could. Dorita

21:36

would nanny, sell fragrances. They

21:38

worked as shift managers at a fast food restaurant.

21:41

Anything to pay the bills.

21:44

And then they reached out to their three sons, who

21:46

by now had grown up and moved away. They

21:49

asked if they could move back in, find

21:51

work, and help pay rent for a while.

21:54

They did, and Dorita walked them through

21:56

the unique rules of the house.

21:58

never ever turned down

22:01

any showing, none. There was no

22:04

discussion. We have to make

22:07

sure that we follow the instructions to

22:09

a tee.

22:10

That meant that whenever Realtor booked a showing,

22:13

they'd have to disappear at least 15 minutes

22:16

before the tour, and they could only return 15

22:18

minutes after everyone had left.

22:21

All the kids were really good about

22:24

getting on board and realizing

22:26

that this is what we have to do in order to

22:28

have a roof over our head. Did

22:30

it get sort of panicky and hectic

22:33

sometimes?

22:34

There were definitely a few times that

22:36

it was challenging.

22:38

Dorita remembers one home. It had

22:40

a pool surrounded by pine trees. The

22:43

needles would always fall into the water, and Dorita

22:45

would always skim them out. One time, Dorita

22:48

got a call when she wasn't home. They'd be showing

22:50

in a few hours, and there was no

22:52

way she was going to let pine needles clutter the pool.

22:55

And so I rushed back, and I got

22:57

the blower, and I'm blowing the pine

22:59

leaves off of the deck, and I get the

23:01

skimmer, and I'm getting it all off, you know? And

23:03

then I was like, oh my goodness, they're going to come, and

23:06

they're not supposed to see you. So

23:08

I sneak out the back of my neighbors,

23:10

you know, and I'm out of breath, and I'm so hot.

23:13

But I did my job, and I was like,

23:15

well, I did all I could do, you know? They

23:17

find a few needles. It's not because I didn't

23:19

try. Then

23:20

there was that one year where the phone rang

23:22

in the middle of cooking Thanksgiving dinner.

23:24

Robert, Dorita, their three sons, a handful

23:27

of guests, they don't need to get out

23:30

quickly and leave without a trace. We

23:32

did the best we could to cover everything,

23:35

put things in the refrigerator, you

23:37

know, no dishes in the sink and stuff

23:39

like that. And we had everybody turning

23:42

on lights and getting everything all prepared and

23:44

ready, and then we had to run to the

23:47

closest coffee shop. And I mean, you end

23:49

up having a laugh about it and say, wow, that's

23:51

a Thanksgiving we'll never forget, you know?

23:55

But mostly life fell into a rhythm.

23:57

On average, a show home would sell, and they would move.

23:59

every six to nine months. The

24:02

company would cover the moving costs. Stages

24:04

would help decorate again and again and

24:06

again. The shortest

24:10

was three weeks. Wow, that's

24:12

very short. That's very short. They paid

24:15

us to move out quickly, but to turn around

24:17

and move into a home, decorate

24:19

it and stage it and get everything away,

24:21

then three weeks later, turn around

24:24

and repack it was pretty challenging.

24:26

Yeah, I can imagine. But you know, I felt,

24:28

I always felt like that was part of a second

24:30

job. It was like having a second job. Right.

24:33

It sounds like a full-time job. Yeah,

24:35

but it really, it doesn't seem that bad to us.

24:37

It's like earning a badge every time. A badge

24:40

of excellence. You did your job. Now

24:42

we're going to move you to the next place.

24:45

After a few years of this, their sons had enough.

24:48

There was a time that my

24:50

oldest son tried to show us some different

24:53

two-bedroom, two-bath apartments because

24:55

they thought life would be so much easier. And

24:58

Bob and I were just not at that place at that

25:00

time.

25:01

Why weren't you in that place at that time? Because

25:03

we were actually enjoying the adventure

25:06

of moving from home to home, if

25:08

you can believe that.

25:10

Mom and dad stuck with the program.

25:12

The boys did not.

25:15

In the last home we all lived in together,

25:17

it was a beautiful,

25:19

mini mansion kind of home. When it

25:22

was time to move out, they moved to their place

25:24

and we moved to the next show home.

25:28

Something about this permanent state of living

25:30

in an impermanent way appealed

25:33

to Robert and Dorita and it taught them something

25:35

about what was important about a house and

25:38

what wasn't. Like take the furniture

25:40

they'd carried since Lake of the Ozarks. What

25:43

once felt special and priceless had

25:45

become cumbersome and heavy. When

25:47

the staging company offered to replace their furnishings

25:50

with something lighter and more modern, they

25:52

accepted. They kept a couple of office

25:54

chairs, a piano, but everything

25:56

else. The brass and bamboo bed,

25:59

the thick glass,

27:59

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