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History That Doesn't Suck is a bi-weekly podcast

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forward slash history that doesn't suck.

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It's a summer's afternoon sometime

0:22

in the mid to late 1700s, though

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the exact date is unimportant. After

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all, legends do not concern themselves with

0:29

such chronological specificities. But

0:32

legend does provide a location. Where

0:34

in Prussian-ruled Silesia, traveling a country

0:36

road in a horse-drawn carriage, our

0:39

passengers are four women. The

0:41

Countess Cecilia, her two

0:44

coming-of-age daughters, and their maid, Mrs.

0:46

Abigail. Their destination

0:48

is the Holy Roman Empire-ruled kingdom of

0:50

Bohemia's famous spa town, Carlsbad,

0:55

or Prahlovi Vary. It's some 200 miles

0:57

away, across the giant mountains, but

1:00

the Countess is terribly impatient to arrive.

1:03

And so, seated on the coach box,

1:05

her faithful but unnamed driver urges

1:08

the horses onward as the watchman, John,

1:11

sits next to him, scanning the countryside

1:13

for threats. As evening

1:15

falls, the coachman gently pulls

1:18

on the reins, bringing the carriage to a stop.

1:20

Before them lies the

1:22

pine-covered, giant mountains. John

1:25

feels a sense of foreboding. He

1:27

knows all too well the tales of the capricious,

1:30

sometimes troublemaking mountain spirit, who takes

1:33

the form of a gnome or giant and

1:35

inhabits these undulating peaks.

1:37

Yes, the one and only Numbernip,

1:40

or Rubitzai. Do

1:42

they dare travel through his domain at

1:45

night? A gamble indeed,

1:47

but the Countess is eager, and much time

1:49

has passed since anyone has heard from

1:51

or seen Rubitzai.

1:54

John won't be the coward.

1:56

He swallows hard, and puts on a brave

1:58

face while agreeing that they

1:59

should venture on. The coachman

2:02

flicks the reins. His four

2:04

horses trot onward toward the

2:06

mountain road. Hours

2:09

pass. The star-filled sky

2:12

and bright moon cast a pale light,

2:14

one punctuated all the more by

2:16

bioluminescent insects. The

2:19

woman slumbers soundly in the carriage. Nevertheless,

2:23

John can feel his heartbeat climbing

2:25

right along with the carriage as their horses

2:28

call them up the still dimly lit spruce

2:30

line sloping path. Tall

2:33

tales of rheumatized trickster crafty

2:36

ways race through the watchman's mind. He

2:38

wonders what

2:41

the mountain spirit is still here. What

2:43

life-endangering games might he decide to play

2:45

with them? Why, John

2:48

silently asked himself, didn't

2:50

he speak up to the sitting end of the woods tonight?

2:53

John's eyes start to melt with tears. Every

2:56

suspect's shadow sits shivered down his spine.

2:59

Forget the coachman, he sees the night-ending

3:02

fury of his feet.

3:04

He feeds the key from the hours of drive. Then

3:08

another shadow starts, John. He

3:10

turns to the driver and asks, is something

3:12

now walking on the mountain? His

3:15

colleague offers reassurances, but John

3:17

takes no comfort. The watchman

3:19

now clues as his eyes, rather than look out

3:21

upon the night's horrid shadows. A

3:24

short while later, John hears and feels

3:26

the carriage slow. Then stop.

3:29

Dear God, why would the

3:32

coachman stop? Finding

3:34

the terror of the unknown, unbearable, John

3:36

opens his eyes to see a man. No, a

3:38

giant standing on a stone's throw

3:40

before the carriage. Yet atop

3:43

the towering, flat, flat figure, John

3:46

sees only a scar. No

3:49

head. Equally

3:51

overcome with fear, the coachman

3:52

asks John, mess mate. Don't

3:56

thou see any date?

3:57

The watchman replies quietly, I

3:59

know.

3:59

do indeed stay healthy." He

4:02

then begins softly uttering the Lord's prayer. Meanwhile

4:06

the coachman taps on the carriage window, waking

4:08

the passenger. None too pleased,

4:11

because he asks, What's the matter? John

4:14

answers, Your honor, there

4:17

walks the man,

4:18

without a hand close beside us. Not

4:21

one for superstition, the Countess returns. The man who does not understand

4:23

us, does not care for every day, nor does a team grow as low

4:26

as a mother, please.

4:28

Even witticism is wholly unappreciated,

4:31

as her daughters shake and fear and

4:32

cry out. There

4:35

is re-ret

6:03

Welcome to

6:06

history that doesn't suck. I'm

6:08

your professor, Greg Janison, and I'd like to tell you

6:10

a story.

6:29

I doubt that clarification is needed, but

6:31

the tale I just told you was

6:33

not a historic event.

6:35

That was my H.T.D.S. style adaptation

6:38

of the fifth legend of Rubitsai in

6:40

Johann Karl Auguste Muzaus' 1791

6:44

publication, Popular Tales of

6:46

the Germans. Well, the

6:48

first part of the fifth legend at any rate. I

6:50

won't say much more as I'd hate to spoil anything

6:53

for those inclined to read it, but the tale

6:55

goes on to reveal the backstory and true

6:57

identity of its spooky antagonist, the

6:59

headless horseman. Nor is it the

7:01

only such story from the era. By

7:04

the 1700s, various narratives of headless

7:07

riders had galloped their way across

7:09

much of Northern and Western Europe. And

7:11

with that background, it is my pleasure

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today, on this third H.T.D.S.

7:16

Halloween special, to introduce you to

7:18

the American descendant of these headless

7:20

European tales. I am,

7:23

of course, talking about the one

7:25

and only Washington Irving's most

7:27

enduring masterpiece, the legend

7:29

of Sleepy Hollow. But

7:32

before I read you this podcast-shortened,

7:34

abridged version of Schoolmaster Ichabod

7:36

Crane's headache of a night, let's get

7:38

our own head straight by starting as we always

7:41

do in our Halloween specials. It's

7:43

time to meet our ghoulish author. It

8:01

was a boy, and once again, this

8:03

meant coming up with a name. They had

8:05

already gone through several of the classics, using

8:07

William three times John twice, as

8:10

sadly, only seven other kids had

8:12

survived childhood. Nevertheless,

8:15

Sarah had a wholly new name in mind for this little

8:17

bundle of joy. Perhaps

8:19

the inspiration came from seeing revolutionary

8:21

prisoners freed from the North Dutch

8:23

church next to their New York home, at 128

8:26

William Street, or watching as British

8:29

soldiers and supporters marched to the East River

8:31

to board ships and never return. Whatever

8:34

it was, Sarah declared, quote, Washington's

8:37

work has ended and the child should be named after

8:39

him. Close quote. That's

8:42

right. Washington Irving was named

8:44

after General George Washington. We

8:48

know little of Washington Irving's earliest

8:50

years, but legend has it that at six

8:52

years old, the young New Yorker met his

8:54

then presidential namesake. General

8:57

Washington also enjoyed his supportive home. Being

8:59

the youngest serving child, his mother and siblings

9:02

alike doted on him. His strict

9:04

Presbyterian father wasn't quite as warm,

9:06

but loved him all the same. Washington's

9:09

older brother, William, married Julia

9:11

Paulding. This is noteworthy

9:14

because Julia was the older sister of the poet,

9:16

essayist, and hopeful novelist James

9:18

Paulding. Only 13 years

9:21

old himself at the time, James became

9:23

a close friend of Washington's and helped the

9:25

three years younger aspiring author hone

9:27

his writing skills. James also

9:29

introduced Washington to a place along

9:32

the Hudson River filled with legends and

9:34

lore known as sleepy hollow. At 16,

9:38

Washington joined his brother, John, working

9:40

at the law office of Henry Masterton. Though

9:43

praised for his quality writing here, this

9:45

technical stuff wasn't what the youngest Irving

9:48

really wanted to do. Thus, he

9:50

jumped at the chance to join his brother, Peter. Dr.

9:54

Irving, as the Columbia med school grad

9:56

preferred to be called despite not practicing medicine,

9:59

writing in the political realm. See,

10:02

this was just after the turn of the 19th

10:04

century United States deeply divided presidential

10:06

election of 1800, which ended with

10:09

New Yorker Democratic Republican Aaron Burr

10:11

as vice president. You and I

10:13

might know that Aaron's fortunes would soon take

10:15

an ugly turn. But at this point, he

10:17

looked like a rising star, especially

10:19

to his fellow New Yorkers, like Irving

10:22

Brothers, William, Peter and Washington. Dr.

10:25

Peter Irving soon became the editor for

10:27

an Aaron Burr supporting newspaper The Morning

10:29

Chronicle, and he was happy to give his

10:31

teenage brother Washington the opportunity

10:33

to contribute to the press. Accordingly,

10:36

Washington wrote about the new vice president. But

10:39

the youngest Irving who in all truth

10:42

wasn't all that partisan really made

10:44

his mark in his brother's newspaper, while

10:46

writing under the pseudonym of Jonathan

10:49

old style. In his Jonathan

10:51

role, Washington posed as a theater

10:53

critic while writing nine letters that poked

10:55

fun at New York culture. In his

10:57

last letter, published on April 23, 1803, Washington

11:01

commented on dueling, which the New York legislature

11:04

had recently outlawed. In doing

11:06

so, he offered intentionally outlandish

11:09

ideas, such as dropping bricks on would

11:11

be duelers heads, or having the state

11:13

create the blood and thunder

11:15

office to issue dueling licenses. ironic

11:18

that the pro Aaron Burr Morning Chronicle

11:20

published this only a year before the VP's

11:23

infamous and deadly duel with Alexander Hamilton.

11:26

But there you go. More important to our

11:28

short biography, though, is that Washington's

11:30

nom de plume was no great secret. As

11:33

such, his witty Jonathan old style

11:35

letters helped him gain greater access

11:37

to the literary crowd of New York City. Washington

11:41

went on trips with his family and employers,

11:43

meeting and learning from fur traders and Native Americans

11:45

in upstate New York. He next

11:48

crossed the Atlantic to France and Italy on

11:50

a trip financed by his doting brothers who

11:52

hoped to stave off Washington's increasingly

11:54

poor health. On the way to Sicily,

11:57

pirates robbed Washington's ship. New

12:00

Yorker got away well enough, though, successfully

12:02

hiding his money from these C-roving bandits.

12:06

Upon his return to America, and to cover

12:08

many years in but a sentence, Washington began

12:10

his literary career in full earnestness. He

12:13

wrote short stories and histories, mostly

12:16

with more story than history. In

12:18

doing so, he birthed New York City's

12:20

nickname of Gotham. Nor

12:23

is this the only notable appellation that

12:25

Washington bequeathed to NYC.

12:27

A second comes from yet another one of his pseudonyms,

12:30

Dydric Knickerbocker, which he used for

12:32

his 1809 book, A History of New York

12:35

from the beginning of the world to the end

12:37

of the Dutch dynasty. Once

12:39

written, Washington tricked the whole city

12:41

into believing Mr. Knickerbocker was a real person

12:44

and had gone missing. This ginned

12:46

up interest in the supposedly missing Dutch

12:48

American historian, and of course, book

12:51

sales as well. Washington gladly

12:53

acknowledged the hoax, and in the meanwhile, his

12:56

largely satirical, false history proved

12:58

immensely successful. The name

13:00

Knickerbocker then became synonymous with

13:02

New York. In brief, Washington

13:05

Irving is why modern day New York City has

13:07

an NBA team called the Knickerbocker, often

13:09

abbreviated as the Knicks. Between 1819

13:12

and 1820, after more travel,

13:15

newspaper writing, and in the midst of depression

13:17

brought on by the death of his mother and financial

13:19

hardships, Washington published 34 short

13:22

stories and essays on a serial basis

13:25

and under yet another pseudonym. He

13:27

called it the sketchbook of Jeffrey

13:29

Crayon, Gent. The sketchbook

13:32

was enormously successful on both sides of

13:34

the Atlantic. For many, it was

13:36

the first proof that an American author

13:38

could be the equal of a European author, and

13:41

in it we find his two most famous

13:43

works, Rip Van Winkle, and

13:45

of course, the legend of Sleepy

13:48

Hollow.

13:52

Yes,

13:53

now we come to today's tale.

13:56

The legend of Sleepy Hollow is sprinkled with

13:58

real places. Listen to includes

14:00

Sleepy Hollow itself, nearby Tarrytown,

14:03

as well as the old Dutch church near Washington

14:05

Irving's childhood home. The story

14:07

also includes homegrown legends. These

14:10

include the tree, next to which, Washington

14:13

tells us, British Major John Andre

14:16

was captured en route to meet Benedict Arnold

14:18

during the American Revolution, as well as the

14:20

legend of an unfortunate Hessian soldier,

14:22

decapitated by a cannonball. Ah,

14:26

but was Hessian the inspiration for

14:28

Washington's headless horseman? Or

14:30

did the knickerbocker get his inspiration not

14:33

only from a European mountain spirit, but

14:35

Patriot militiaman, Abraham Onderdonk,

14:38

who we know lost his head to a cannonball at White

14:40

Plains in 1776? I

14:43

suppose we'll never know, but it is fun

14:45

to see how much revolutionary history Washington

14:47

Irving has mashed up in this short story.

14:51

And as we enter this historical era, let's

14:53

situate a few words for our 21st century ears. For

14:57

one, you'll hear our protagonist, Ichabod,

15:00

described as a, quote unquote, worthy

15:02

white. Ah homonyms.

15:05

The word is not W-H-I-T-E,

15:09

but W-I-G-H-T,

15:12

which is an archaic word for a living being.

15:15

So rest assured, Washington Irving isn't

15:17

commenting on race here. That

15:19

said, race does appear in the story. We

15:22

will hear passing mention of a black gentleman

15:25

described as a Negro in a position of servitude.

15:28

Let's not be surprised. Remember, this

15:31

tale is situated in the early post-revolutionary

15:33

United States. New York had not

15:36

yet abolished slavery in the 1790s. The

15:39

legend of Sleepy Hollow is also, in many

15:42

ways, a celebration of southern New York's

15:44

early Dutch inhabitants. Washington

15:47

even attributes the legend to his faux Dutch identity,

15:50

claiming that the tale was, quote, found

15:52

among the papers of the late Dietrich

15:54

Knickerbocker. Close quote. Loving

15:57

the region almost as much as he loved suited people.

16:00

Washington made his home there and upon his death

16:03

in 1859 was buried in the Sleepy Hollow

16:05

Cemetery. With its odd

16:08

mix of history, prose, and good old-fashioned ghosts, The

16:11

Legend of Sleepy Hollow has become an American

16:13

classic with adaptations across

16:15

various mediums, including comics, movies,

16:17

television, the stage, and well, podcasts.

16:22

And having myself grown up watching the classic

16:24

Disney cartoon version narrated by Bing Crosby,

16:28

it's a genuine honor to step into that tradition

16:30

of recounting Washington Irving's tale of

16:32

schoolmaster Iqobod Crane fleeing

16:35

the headless horseman for the safety

16:37

of the covered bridge. Well,

16:40

now that we are acquainted with today's author and

16:42

know to keep our ears sharp for nods to New

16:44

York history, I won't make you lose your

16:46

head with any further anticipation. Ladies

16:49

and gentlemen, without further interruption

16:51

or commentary, I give

16:53

you the abridged but immortal and

16:55

haunting words of Washington Irving.

17:03

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by

17:06

Washington Irving In

17:09

the bosom of one of those spacious coves

17:12

which indent the eastern shore of the Hudson, at

17:14

that broad expansion of the river, denominated

17:17

by the ancient Dutch navigators the Tappan

17:19

Z, and where they always prudently

17:22

shortened sail and implored the protection

17:24

of St. Nicholas when they crossed, there

17:27

lies a small market town or

17:30

rural port, which by some

17:32

is called Greensburg, but which is

17:34

more generally and properly known by the name

17:36

of Tarrytown. Not far

17:39

from this village, perhaps about two

17:41

miles, there is a little valley, or

17:43

rather lap of land among high hills,

17:46

which is one of the quietest places in the

17:48

whole world. A small

17:51

brook glides through it with just

17:53

murmur enough to lull one to repose, and

17:56

the occasional whistle of a quail or

17:58

tapping of a woodpecker is almost the

18:00

only sound that ever breaks in upon

18:03

the uniform tranquility. From

18:05

the listless repose of the place and

18:08

the peculiar character of its inhabitants,

18:10

who are descendants from the original Dutch settlers,

18:13

this sequestered glen has long been known

18:15

by the name of Sleepy Hollow, and

18:18

its rustic lads are called the Sleepy Hollow

18:20

Boys throughout all the neighboring country.

18:24

A drowsy, dreamy influence seems to hang

18:26

over the land and to pervade the very atmosphere.

18:30

Some say that the place was bewitched by

18:32

a high German doctor during the early days

18:34

of the settlement. Others that

18:37

an old Indian chief, the prophet

18:39

or wizard of his tribe, held his powwows

18:41

there before the country was discovered by

18:44

Master Hendrik Hudson. Certain

18:46

it is, the place still continues under

18:48

the sway of some witching power

18:51

that holds a spell over the minds of the good people,

18:53

causing them to walk in a continual reverie.

18:56

They are given to all kinds of marvelous beliefs,

18:59

are subject to trances and visions, and

19:02

frequently see strange sights and hear

19:04

music and voices in the air. The

19:06

whole neighborhood abounds with local tales,

19:09

haunted spots, and twilight superstitions.

19:13

Stars shoot and meteors glare

19:15

oftener across the valley than

19:17

in any other part of the country, and

19:20

the nightmare with her whole

19:22

ninefold seems to make

19:24

it the favorite scene of her gambles.

19:27

The dominant spirit, however, that

19:29

haunts this enchanted region and seems

19:32

to be commander in chief of all the powers

19:34

of the air, is the apparition of a

19:36

figure on horseback without a

19:38

head. It is said by some

19:40

to be the ghost of a Hessian trooper, whose

19:42

head had been carried away by a cannonball in

19:45

some nameless battle during the Revolutionary

19:47

War, and who is ever and anon

19:49

seen by the country folk hurrying

19:52

along in the gloom of night, as if

19:54

on the wings of the wind. His

19:56

haunts are not confined to the valley, but

19:58

extend at times to the north. the adjacent

20:00

roads, and especially to the vicinity of

20:02

a church at no great distance. Indeed,

20:06

certain of the most authentic historians

20:08

of those parts, who have been careful in

20:10

collecting and collating the floating

20:12

facts concerning the spectre, allege

20:15

that the body of the trooper, having been buried

20:17

in the churchyard, the ghost

20:19

rides forth to the scene of battle and

20:22

nightly quest of his head, and that the

20:24

rushing speed with which he sometimes

20:26

passes along the hollow, like a

20:28

midnight blast, is owing

20:30

to his being belated, and in

20:32

a hurry to get back to the churchyard before

20:34

daybreak. Such

20:37

is the general purport of this legendary

20:39

superstition, which has furnished materials

20:41

for many a wild story in that region

20:43

of shadows, and the spectre is

20:45

known at all the country firesides

20:48

by the name of the headless horseman

20:51

of Sleepy Hollow. It

20:56

is remarkable that the visionary propensity

20:59

I have mentioned is not confined to

21:01

the native inhabitants of the valley, but

21:03

is unconsciously imbibed by everyone

21:05

who resides there for a time. However

21:08

wide awake they may have been before

21:10

they entered that sleepy region, they are sure

21:13

in a little time to inhale the

21:15

witching influence of the air and begin

21:17

to grow imaginative to dream dreams

21:20

and see apparitions. In

21:23

this by-place of nature, there abode

21:26

in a remote period of American history, that

21:28

is to say, some thirty years since,

21:31

a worthy white of the name of Ichabod

21:33

Crane, who so adjourned or, as

21:36

he expressed it, carried in

21:38

Sleepy Hollow for the purpose of instructing

21:40

the children of the vicinity. He

21:42

was a native of Connecticut, a state which

21:45

supplies the Union with pioneers for the

21:47

mind as well as for the forest, and

21:49

since forth yearly its legions of frontier

21:52

woodsmen and country schoolmasters. The

21:55

cognamant of Crane was not inapplicable

21:57

to his person. He was tall, but

21:59

he was a little bit tall. exceedingly length, with

22:01

narrow shoulders, long arms

22:04

and legs, hands that dangled a mile

22:06

out of his sleeves, feet that

22:08

might have served for shovels, and his

22:10

whole frame most loosely hung together.

22:14

His head was small and flat

22:16

at top, with huge ears, large

22:19

green glassy eyes, and a long

22:21

snipe nose, so that it looked like

22:23

a weathercock perched upon

22:26

his spindle neck to tell which way the wind

22:28

blew. To see him striding

22:30

along the profile of a hill on a windy

22:32

day with his clothes bagging and

22:35

fluttering about him, one might have mistaken

22:37

him for the genius of famine descending upon the

22:39

earth, or some scarecrow eloped

22:42

from a cornfield. The

22:44

schoolmaster is generally a man of some importance

22:47

in the female circle of a rural neighborhood,

22:49

being considered a kind of idle, gentlemanlike

22:52

personage of vastly superior taste

22:54

and accomplishments to the rough country swains,

22:57

and indeed inferior in learning

22:59

only to the person. His appearance,

23:02

therefore, is apt to occasion some

23:04

little stirrer at the tea-table of a farmhouse,

23:07

and the addition of a supernumerary dish

23:09

of cakes or sweet meats, or,

23:12

per adventure, the parade of a silver

23:14

teapot. Our man of letters,

23:17

therefore, was peculiarly happy

23:19

in the smiles of all the country damsels.

23:23

From his half-itinerate life, also, he

23:25

was a kind of traveling gazette, carrying

23:27

the whole budget of local gossip from

23:29

house to house, so that his appearance was

23:32

always greeted with satisfaction. He

23:34

was, moreover, esteemed by

23:36

the women as a man of great erudition,

23:39

for he had read several books quite through,

23:41

and was a perfect master of Cotton Mather's

23:44

history of New England witchcraft, in which,

23:46

by the way, he most firmly and

23:49

potently believed. But

23:52

if there was a pleasure in all this, while

23:54

snugly cuddling in the chimney corner of

23:57

a chamber, that was all of a ruddy

23:59

glow from the crackling wood fire, and

24:01

where, of course, no spectre dared

24:04

to show its face. It was dearly

24:06

purchased by the terrors of his subsequent

24:08

walk homeward. What

24:11

fearful shapes and shadows beset his palm

24:13

amidst the dim and ghastly glare

24:16

of a snowy night? With

24:18

what wistful look did he eye

24:20

every trembling ray of light streaming

24:23

across the waste fields from some distant

24:25

window? And how often

24:27

was he thrown in complete dismay

24:30

by some rushing blast howling

24:32

among the trees in the idea that

24:34

it was the galloping Hessians on one

24:36

of his nightly scourings? All

24:39

these, however, were mere terrors

24:41

of the night, phantoms of the mind that

24:44

walk in darkness. And

24:46

though he had seen many spectres at his time,

24:48

and then more than once beset by Satan

24:51

in diverse shapes in his lonely

24:53

prandulations, yet day

24:56

like put an end to all his evils,

24:58

and he would have passed a pleasant life of

25:00

it into the state of the devil and

25:03

all his works, and his

25:04

path had not been crossed by a being

25:07

that causes more perplexity to

25:09

mortal man than ghosts, goblins,

25:12

and the whole race of witches put together. And

25:15

that was

25:16

a woman.

25:21

Among the musical disciples who assembled

25:23

one evening in each week to receive

25:25

his instructions in solemnity was

25:28

Katrina Van Tassel, the daughter

25:30

and only child of a substantial

25:32

Dutch farmer. She was a blooming

25:34

lass of fresh eighteen, swamp

25:37

as a partridge, ripe and melting

25:39

and rosy cheeked as one of her father's

25:42

peaches, and universally

25:44

famed not merely for her beauty

25:46

but her vast expectations. She

25:49

was withal a little of a coquette, as

25:51

might be perceived even in her dress, which

25:54

was a mixture of ancient and modern fashions

25:56

as most suited to set off her charms. the

26:00

ornaments of pure yellow gold which

26:02

her great-great-grandmother had brought over from

26:04

Zandom, the tempting stomacher

26:07

of the olden time, and withal

26:09

a provoking short petticoat to display

26:12

the prettiest foot and ankle in the country

26:14

round. Ichabod Crane

26:16

had a soft and foolish heart toward the

26:19

sex, and it is not to be wondered

26:21

at that so tempting a morsel soon found

26:23

favor in his eyes, more especially

26:25

after he had visited her in her paternal

26:28

mansion. Gold-balthus Van

26:30

Castle was a perfect picture of a

26:32

thriving, contented, liberal-hearted

26:34

farmer. His stronghold was

26:36

situated on the banks of the Hudson in

26:38

one of those green sheltered fertile

26:41

nooks in which the Dutch farmers were so fond

26:43

of nestling. A great elm tree

26:45

spread its broad branches over it, at

26:47

the foot of which bubbled up a spring of the

26:50

softest and sweetest water in

26:52

the little well formed of a barrel, and

26:54

then stole sparkling away through the

26:56

grass to a neighboring brook that babbled

26:58

along among alders and dwarf willows.

27:02

From the moment Ichabod laid his eyes

27:04

upon these regions of delight, the peace

27:06

of his mind was at an end, and his

27:08

only study was how to gain the affections

27:11

of the peerless daughter of Van Castle. He

27:13

had to encounter a host of fearful adversaries

27:16

of real flesh and blood, the numerous

27:18

rustic admirers who beset every

27:20

portal to her heart, keeping a watchful

27:22

and angry eye upon each other but

27:25

ready to fly out in the common cause against

27:27

any new competitor. Among

27:29

these, the most formidable was a burly,

27:32

roaring, roistering blade

27:35

of the name of Abraham, or according

27:37

to the Dutch abbreviation, Braum van Brumpt,

27:40

the hero of the country round, which

27:42

reigned with his feats of strength and

27:44

hardyhood. He was broad-shouldered

27:47

and double-jointed, with short, curly

27:49

black hair, and a bluff but not unpleasant

27:52

countenance, having a mingled air

27:54

of fun and arrogance. From

27:56

his herculean frame and great powers of

27:58

limb, he had received the nickname of Brahm

28:01

Bones, by which he was universally

28:03

known. He was famed for

28:05

great knowledge and skill in horsemanship, being

28:08

as dexterous on horseback as a tartar. The

28:11

neighbors looked upon him with a mixture of

28:13

awe, admiration, and good will, and

28:16

when any madcap prank or rustic

28:18

brawl occurred in the vicinity, always

28:20

shook their heads and warranted Brahm

28:23

Bones was at the bottom of it. Such

28:26

was the formidable rival with whom Ichabod

28:28

Crane had to contend, and, considering

28:30

all things, a stutter man than he

28:32

would have shrunk from the competition, and

28:35

a wiser man would have despaired. He

28:37

had, however, a happy mixture of

28:39

pliability and perseverance in his

28:42

nature. He was in form and spirit

28:44

like a supple jack, yielding but tough.

28:47

Though he bent, he never broke, and

28:50

though he bowed beneath the slightest pressure,

28:53

yet, the moment it was away, jerked,

28:56

he was as erect and carried his head

28:58

as high as ever. I

29:00

profess not to know how women's hearts

29:02

are wooed and won. To me,

29:04

they have always been matters of riddle and admiration.

29:08

Certain it is, this was not the case with the

29:10

redoubtable Brahm Bones, and from

29:12

the moment Ichabod Crane made his advances,

29:15

the interests of the former evidently declined.

29:18

His horse was no longer seen tied to the palings

29:20

on Sunday night, and a deadly feud

29:23

gradually arose between him and

29:25

the preceptor of Lidihala.

29:40

On a fine autumnal afternoon, Ichabod,

29:43

in pensive mood, sat enthroned

29:45

on the lofty stool from whence he usually watched

29:48

all the concerns of his little literary

29:50

realm. Suddenly, the

29:53

negro in towcloth jacket and trousers

29:55

came flattering up to the school door with an

29:57

invitation to Ichabod to attend a merrymaking,

30:00

or quilting frolic, to be held that

30:03

evening at Meinhir van Tassel's.

30:06

All was now bustle and hubbub in the

30:08

late quiet schoolroom. The

30:11

gallant Ichabod, that he might

30:13

make his appearance before his mistress in the

30:15

true style of a cavalier, borrowed

30:17

a horse from the farmer with whom he was domiciliated,

30:20

a choleric old Dutchman by the name of

30:22

Hans van Ripper,

30:24

and,

30:25

thus gallantly mounted, issued forth

30:27

like a knight errant in quest of

30:29

adventures. The animal

30:31

he bestrode was a broken-down plow

30:34

horse that had outlived almost everything

30:36

but its viciousness. Still,

30:38

he must have had fire and metal in his day,

30:41

if we may judge from the name he bore of

30:43

gunpowder. Ichabod

30:45

was a suitable figure for such a steed. He

30:48

rode with short stirrups, which brought his

30:50

knees nearly up to the pommel of the saddle.

30:54

His sharp elbows stuck out like grasshoppers.

30:57

He carried his whip, perpendicularly in

30:59

his hand, like a scepter. And

31:01

as his horse jogged on, the motion

31:04

of his arms was not unlocked the flopping

31:06

of a pair of wings. A small

31:08

wool hat rested on the top of his nose,

31:11

for so his scanty strip of forehead might

31:13

be called, and the skirts of his

31:15

black coat fluttered out almost

31:17

to the horse's tail.

31:20

On the toward evening that Ichabod arrived at the castle

31:22

of the Hirvan Castle, which he found

31:25

thronged with the pride and flower of the adjacent

31:27

country. Brom Bones,

31:30

however, was the hero of the scene, having

31:32

come to the gathering on his favorite steed,

31:35

Daredevil, a creature like himself,

31:37

full of metal and mischief, in which no

31:39

one but himself could manage. He

31:42

was, in fact, noted for preferring

31:44

vicious animals, given to all kinds

31:47

of tricks which kept the rider in constant

31:49

risk of his neck, for he held a tractable,

31:52

well-broken horse as unworthy

31:54

of a lad of spirit. Old

31:56

Baltic's dantangle moved about among his

31:59

gasses with a His face dilated with

32:01

content and good humor, round and jolly

32:03

as the harvest moon. His hospitable

32:06

attentions were brief, but expressive,

32:09

being confined to a shake of the hand,

32:11

a slap on the shoulder, a loud laugh, and

32:14

a pressing invitation to fall

32:16

to and help themselves. And

32:19

now, the sound of the music from the common

32:22

room, or hall, summoned to

32:24

the dance. Jacob out

32:26

invited himself upon his dancing as much

32:28

as upon his vocal powers. The

32:30

lady of his heart was his partner in the dance,

32:33

and smiling graciously in his fly to all

32:35

his amorous ogles, while

32:38

brombones, sorely smitten

32:40

with love and jealousy, sat

32:42

brooding by himself in one corner.

32:48

The revel now gradually broke up. The

32:51

old farmers gathered together their families

32:53

in their wagons and were heard for some

32:55

time rattling along the hollow roads

32:58

and over the distant hills. Ichabod

33:01

only lingered behind, according to the custom

33:03

of country lovers, to have a tete a

33:05

tete with the heiress, fully convinced

33:07

that he was now on the high road to success.

33:10

What paused at this interview I will not pretend

33:13

to say, for in fact I do not know.

33:16

Something, however, I fear me,

33:18

must have gone wrong, for he certainly

33:20

sallied forth, after no very great

33:23

interval,

33:24

with an air quite desolate

33:26

and chapfallen,

33:28

without looking to the right or left to

33:30

notice the scene of rural wealth on

33:32

which he had so often gloated he went

33:35

straight to the stable, and with several hearty

33:37

cuffs and kicks roused his steed most

33:39

uncurdiously from the comfortable quarters

33:41

in which he was soundly sleeping. It

33:44

was the very witching time of night that Ichabod,

33:47

heavy-hearted and crestfallen, pursued

33:49

his travels homewards, along the

33:52

sides of the lofty hills which rise

33:54

above Tarrytown, in which he had traversed

33:56

so cheerily in the afternoon. As

34:00

himself, all

34:02

the stories of ghosts and goblins that

34:05

he had heard in the afternoon now came

34:07

crowding upon his recollection. The

34:09

night grew darker and darker. The

34:12

stars seemed to sink deeper

34:14

in the sky and driving clouds

34:17

occasionally hid them from his sight. He

34:20

had never felt so lonely and dismal. He

34:22

was, moreover, approaching the very

34:25

place where many of the scenes of

34:27

the ghost stories had been laid. In

34:30

the center of the road stood an enormous

34:32

tulip tree which towered like

34:34

a giant above all the other trees

34:37

of the neighborhood and formed a kind of landmark.

34:40

Its limbs were gnarled and fantastic,

34:42

large enough to form trunks for ordinary trees

34:45

twisting down almost to the earth and

34:48

rising again into the air. It

34:50

was connected with the tragic story

34:52

of the unfortunate Andre who had been

34:55

taken prisoner hard by and was

34:57

universally known by the name of Major Andre's

34:59

tree. The common people regarded

35:02

it with a mixture of respect and superstition,

35:05

partly out of sympathy for the fate of its ill-starred

35:08

namesake and partly from the tales

35:10

of strange sights and doleful lamentations

35:13

told concern. As

35:15

Ichabod approached this fearful tree he began

35:18

to whistle. He thought his whistle

35:20

was answered. There was but a blast

35:23

sweeping sharply through the dry branches. As

35:26

he approached a little mirror he

35:28

thought he saw a clunking white hanging

35:30

in the midst of the tree. He

35:33

paused and ceased whistling but,

35:35

on looking more narrowly, perceived

35:38

that it was a place where the tree had been scathed

35:40

by lightning and the white wood

35:42

laid bare. Suddenly

35:45

he heard a groan. His teeth

35:47

shattered and his knees smote against the fowl.

35:50

It was but the rubbing of one huge bow upon

35:53

another as they were swayed about by the

35:55

breeze. He passed the tree

35:57

in safety.

35:57

A new peril, late before him.

36:04

About 200 yards from the tree, a

36:06

small brook crossed the road and

36:08

ran into a marshy and thickly

36:10

wooded glen known by the name of Wily

36:13

Swamp. A few rough logs

36:16

laid side by side, served for

36:18

a bridge over the stream. On

36:20

that side of the road where the brook entered the

36:22

wood, a group of oaks and chestnuts,

36:25

matted thick with wild grape vines,

36:27

threw a cavernous gloom over it. To

36:30

pass this bridge was the severest trial,

36:33

whose at this identical spot that the unfortunate

36:36

og there was captured, and under the

36:38

covert of those chestnuts and vines were

36:40

the sturdy yeoman concealed who surprised

36:43

him. This has ever since been considered

36:45

a haunted stream, and fearful are

36:48

the feelings of the schoolboy who has

36:50

to pass it alone after dark. As

36:53

he approached the stream, his heart

36:55

began to thump. He summoned up,

36:57

however. All his resolution gave

37:00

his force half a score of kicks in

37:02

the ribs and attempted to dash grossly

37:04

across the bridge. Instead

37:06

of starting forward, the perverse old animal

37:08

made a lateral movement and ran broadside

37:11

against the fence. Ichabod,

37:14

whose tears increased with the delay, jerked

37:16

the reins on the other side and kicked

37:19

lustily with the contrary foot. It

37:21

was all in vain. His speed started. It

37:24

is true, but it was only to plunge

37:26

to the opposite side of the road into

37:28

a thicket of brambles and alder bushes. The

37:31

schoolmaster now bestowed both whip and

37:34

heel upon the starving ribs of old gunpowder

37:36

who dashed forward, snuffling

37:39

and snorting, but came to a stand

37:41

just by the bridge with a suddenness that

37:43

had nearly sent his riders brawling over

37:46

his head. At this

37:48

moment, a flashy tramp

37:50

by the side of the bridge caught the sensitive

37:52

ear of Ichabod. In the dark shadow

37:55

of the grove, on the margin of

37:57

the brook, he beheld something huge.

38:00

The shape and the towering. It

38:02

stirred not, but seemed, gathered

38:05

up in the gloom, like some gigantic

38:08

monster right as spring upon the traveller. The

38:11

hair of the frightened pedagogue rose

38:14

upon his head of terror. What was

38:16

to be done? To turn and fly

38:18

was now too late, and besides, what

38:20

chance was there of escaping ghosts or goblins

38:22

if such a was, which could ride

38:25

upon the wings of the wind? Moving

38:27

up, therefore, a show of courage,

38:30

he demanded in stammering accents. Who

38:34

are you? He received

38:36

no reply. He repeated

38:38

his demand in a still more agitated voice.

38:41

Still there was no answer. Once more

38:44

he cudgled the sides of the inflexible

38:46

gunpowder, and, shutting his eyes, broke

38:48

forth with involuntary fervor into

38:51

a solemn tune. Just

38:53

then, the sound of the adequate alarm hid

38:55

itself in motion, and with a scramble and

38:57

a bound, stood at once in the middle of the

38:59

road. Though the night had stopped

39:01

and risen, yet the form of the unknown

39:04

nightmare and some agreed he ascertained.

39:07

He appeared to be a horseman of

39:09

large dimensions, and mounted on a black horse

39:12

of powerful fame.

39:13

He made no offer of molestation

39:16

or sociability, a crystal

39:18

loop on one side of the road,

39:21

jogging along with the iron-clad gold

39:23

gunpowder, who now got over

39:25

his fight and wounded. Pickabod

39:28

now quickened his feet and hoped his leaving went

39:30

behind. A stranger, however,

39:33

quickened his voice to eat his face. Pickabod

39:36

pulled up and fell into a walk,

39:38

thinking to lag behind. The other did

39:40

the same. He began

39:42

to think of

39:43

it. He endeavored to resume his

39:45

solemn tune, but his parched

39:47

tongue clobed to the roof of his mouth, and

39:50

he could not utter a stave. There

39:52

was something in the moody and dogged silence

39:55

of his pertinacious companion

39:57

that was mysterious and appalling. It

40:00

was soon fearfully accounted for.

40:03

On mounting a rising ground, which brought

40:05

the figure of his fellow traveler in

40:07

relief against the sky, gigantic

40:09

and hiked and muffled in a cloak, Ichabod

40:13

was horror struck on proceeding that he was

40:15

headless. But his horror

40:17

was still more increased on observing that the head,

40:19

which should have rested on his shoulders, was

40:21

carried before him in the pommel

40:24

of his saddle. His terror rose

40:26

to desperation. He reigned

40:28

a shower of kicks and blows upon gunpowder,

40:30

hoping by a sudden movement to give his companion the

40:32

flip.

40:33

But the specter started, full of junk

40:35

with him.

40:36

Away then, they dashed through thick

40:38

and thin, stones flying and sparks

40:40

flashing at every bound. Ichabod's

40:43

flimsy garments fluttered in the air as

40:45

he stretched his long, lanky body away

40:47

over his horse's head in the eagerness of

40:49

his flight. They

40:52

had now reached the road, which turned off

40:54

to sleepy Hollow. The gunpowder,

40:56

who seemed possessed with a demon instead

40:59

of keeping up it, made an opposite

41:01

turn and plunged headlong downhill

41:03

to the left. This road leads

41:05

through a sandy hollow shaded by

41:08

trees for about a quarter of a mile where

41:10

it crosses the bridge famous in goblin story.

41:13

And just beyond swells the green

41:15

knoll on which stands the whitewashed church.

41:19

As yet, the panic of his feed had

41:21

given his unskillful rider an apparent advantage

41:23

in the chase. But just as he had got

41:25

halfway through the hollow, the girths

41:28

of the saddle gave way, and he felt it slipping

41:30

from under him. He seized

41:32

it by the pommel and endeavored to hold it firm, but

41:34

in vain, and had just time

41:37

to save himself by clasping old gunpowder

41:39

round the neck when the saddle fell

41:41

to the earth and he heard it trampled under

41:44

foot by his pursuer. For a

41:46

moment, the terror of Hans Van Ripper's

41:48

wrath passed across his mind, for it was

41:50

his Sunday saddle. But this was no

41:52

time for petty fears. The

41:54

goblin was hard on his haunches, and

41:57

unskillful rider that he was, he had

41:59

much ado to make maintain his seat, sometimes

42:02

slipping on one side, sometimes on another,

42:04

and sometimes jolted on the high

42:07

ridge of the horse's backbone with the violence

42:09

that he barely feared would clean

42:11

him of thunder. An

42:13

opening in the trees now cheered him with the hope that

42:15

the church bridge was at hand. The

42:18

wavering reflection of a silver star

42:20

in the bosom of the brook told him that he

42:22

was not mistaken. He saw the

42:24

walls of the church dimly glaring

42:26

under the trees beyond. He recollected

42:28

the place where Brom Bones, ghost

42:30

of the competitor, had disappeared. If he

42:33

can but reach that bridge, thought

42:35

the goodbye, I am safe. Just

42:38

then he heard the black speed panting

42:40

and blowing close behind him. He

42:43

even fancied that he felt his hot fall. Another

42:46

convulsive kick in the ribs, and old gunpowder

42:49

sprang upon the bridge. He thundered

42:51

over the resounding plank. He gained the opposite

42:54

side, and now a goodbye

42:56

cast a look behind to see if his pursuer should vanish

42:59

according to rule in a flash of fire

43:01

and brimstone. Just then

43:03

he saw the goblin rising in his stirrups

43:06

and in the very act of hurling his head

43:08

at him. Ichabod endeavored

43:11

to dodge the horrible missle, but

43:13

too late. It encountered

43:15

his cranium with a tremendous crash.

43:18

He was tumbled headlong into the dust

43:21

and gunpowder. The black speed and

43:23

the goblin rider passed

43:26

by like a whirlwind. The

43:31

next morning, the old

43:33

horse was found without his saddle, and

43:36

with the bridle under his feet, soberly

43:39

cropping the grass at his master's gate.

43:42

Ichabod did not make his appearance at breakfast.

43:45

Dinner hour came, but no Ichabod.

43:48

The boys assembled at the schoolhouse and

43:51

strolled idly about the banks of the brook,

43:53

but no schoolmaster. Mrs.

43:56

Von Ripper now began to feel some uneasiness

43:59

about the fate of the horse. Ichabod and

44:01

his saddle. An inquiry was

44:03

set on foot, and after diligent investigation,

44:06

they came upon his traces. In

44:09

one part of the road leading to the

44:11

church was found the saddle trampled

44:14

in the dirt. The tracks of horses'

44:16

hooves, deeply dented in the

44:18

road and evidently at furious

44:20

speed, were traced to the bridge,

44:23

beyond which, on the bank of a

44:25

broad part of the brook, where

44:28

the water ran deep and black, was

44:31

found the hat of the unfortunate Ichabod,

44:33

and close beside it,

44:35

a shattered model.

44:39

Mr.

44:41

That Doesn't Talk is created and hosted by me,

44:44

Greg Jackson. Clips and research are written

44:46

by Greg Jackson, Will Keane, and special

44:48

guest author, Washington Irving. Special

44:51

thanks to Dean Crosby. His narration

44:53

in The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad

44:56

first exposed me to the legend of Tweety Hollow when

44:58

I was a child and contributed to my love for both

45:00

Halloween and history. Initial research

45:02

and outlining by Darby Glass and Riley Neubauer.

45:04

Production by Airship. Sound design by Molly

45:06

Gawk. Theme music composed by Greg Jackson.

45:09

Arrangement and additional composition by Lindsey Graham

45:11

of Airship. For a bibliography of all primary

45:13

and secondary sources consulted in writing this episode,

45:16

visit https://https.podcast.com.

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HTTPS is supported by fans at Patreon,

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.com, forward slash history that doesn't stop. My

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gratitude and kind souls provide funding to

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help keep going. Thank you, and special

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thanks to our patrons, who are mostly gifted in

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that it is your standard. Amanda Grine,

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weeks.