0:02

but you know how a key has different teeth and the teeth and

0:04

yeah , I don't think he drew out this up

0:06

, this is maybe just a me thing , it was , um

0:08

, the teeth that can be ugly and

0:10

rigid and rugged , but it's kind of what

0:12

gets you there , you know it's , that's

0:15

what opens the door for

0:17

you uniquely . Yeah , and um

0:19

, you know so for me it's not sitting

0:21

and meditating for two hours . I prefer

0:24

a walking meditation as

0:26

an example . Yeah , but

0:29

it's kind of whatever is allowance of yourself

0:32

to go to the

0:34

state of being able to quiet the mind , to

0:36

listen to the heart , that center

0:38

point , that point between and you can listen , like

0:42

you said , I hear my heart . However

0:44

, you said that I hear my heart talking or I can

0:46

listen to my heart , or whatever your son said

0:48

. I don't remember , I can't

0:51

remember what he said . I think he said I can hear my heart . Is that what he ?

0:52

said Hear my heart , hear my heart .

0:54

Okay , so you can listen to your heart , and

0:57

those are some of the ways to get to there , and you shouldn't

0:59

overcomplicate it .

1:02

Welcome to Heart to Heart Parents . Let's

1:04

connect with our kids and learn together . I'm

1:06

Keri . I was a former teacher and

1:08

speech therapist . I'm also a parent

1:10

of two spirited , gifted

1:12

, highly sensitive kids . I was

1:14

quickly brought to my knees as a parent

1:17

when I thought that I would see

1:19

a rosy lens version of parenting

1:21

, just as they present on Instagram , but

1:23

I quickly learned that's not real life . I

1:26

will provide real life experiences

1:28

and transform them into moments for

1:30

connections and change for you to use

1:33

in your house . Hi

1:36

there and welcome back to Heart to Heart Parents

1:38

. I am Keri , your friendly , intuitive mama

1:41

, and I'm here with our Paul

1:43

and he's back again . We're

1:46

on episode two . Because we had so much

1:48

fun we had to do it twice . Thank

1:51

you , paul , for being here again with us

1:53

.

1:53

I love it . Thank you so much . This is , yeah , this

1:55

. This really was a lot . This has been so much

1:57

fun so far , so I'm I'm glad to we

2:00

can continue on the conversation .

2:02

Yeah , definitely yeah . So

2:04

oh , go ahead .

2:05

Oh no , I was going to say is I actually had a leaping

2:07

point ? That's kind of just in my head . If

2:10

it's okay if I kind of jump into it .

2:12

Love it . Yes , go ahead Be my guest

2:14

.

2:15

Because , you know , because obviously , with , with

2:17

the parenting and the view on the parenting and

2:19

and I know that we've already kind of expressed you know

2:21

that it's such a great honor to to be

2:23

this and we

2:26

become who we are through our children

2:28

in so many ways and aspects of it

2:30

. And there was , there was one thing that kind

2:32

of popped in my head which is really interesting because

2:35

it's almost and this is going

2:37

to sound a little disjointed from the word

2:39

awareness , but I'll

2:42

get there . So one of the

2:44

things I was thinking of with parenting is is this

2:46

idea of you know the

2:48

protectiveness and I it

2:50

essentially is , you know , we

2:52

come through this existence of , you know eons

2:55

and eons of development and obviously

2:57

at some point in our existence we were being chased by

2:59

saber , tooth , tigers and whatnot . So there's these

3:01

ideas of , and there's a conceptual

3:04

idea that still carries within us of

3:06

got to protect our kids , and there's this idea

3:08

of almost like you're kind of protecting

3:10

them from the world or the exterior

3:12

. And I really

3:14

think that that in this day and age too , that that

3:16

there's a real deep sense of

3:19

we're not just you know there's , rather

3:21

than the protecting of the world , we're almost protecting them from

3:23

our own interpretations

3:26

and our own self-views and our own

3:28

internal dialogues

3:31

. Because when we talk about

3:33

things like our personal dialogues or self-talk

3:35

, those things , they're

3:50

going to , depending on where we're at , if we don't have awareness or we're not in check

3:52

with some of those thoughts , they're going to express themselves in a

3:54

physical way , external of ourselves to

3:56

and with our children . So I know that it sounds a little

3:58

, it might even sound a little dramatic to be

4:00

like well , we have to protect them from ourselves . And I mean

4:02

I mean that just in a very emotional way that we

4:04

bring our own interpretive baggage

4:08

of sorts , you know , to play with that and

4:10

and and those are

4:12

the things that we're working hard because

4:15

we've we've learned lessons and we've grown

4:17

from them . And this is that

4:20

time where we want to be able to pass those

4:22

on , but having

4:24

self-awareness with us personally

4:26

first , to understand where are those , where

4:29

, where's that talking point , where is the self-awareness

4:31

, where are these thoughts coming from before they

4:33

kind of transgress into the physical world with with

4:35

children and their awareness and

4:37

how we're showing up and how they're responding

4:39

to us . So that's kind of where I wanted to kind of a

4:42

little bit of leapfrog into that , into that

4:44

relative thought process around awareness .

4:46

I love it . That's so perfect , and I

4:48

think understanding ourselves

4:51

first is really helping to

4:53

empower them . Healing ourselves

4:55

, healing any pieces that continue to come up

4:57

in ourselves is really being

5:00

aware of what's going on in our bodies

5:02

, and that can help

5:04

us to see what's going on in their bodies and help

5:06

bring our awareness for them too , and

5:08

teaching them how to , and modeling

5:10

how to , be aware of what's going on in our

5:12

body too . So I love that Absolutely

5:14

.

5:15

Yeah , no , I fully agree

5:17

, and we are with them

5:19

most of the

5:21

time . So that's why it's it's

5:24

so important that we are that example and

5:26

we are that guiding light within this

5:28

process . That word awareness

5:30

we had talked about that at one point as well too

5:32

, and having children feel

5:35

you know , how do you gain ? Is it okay

5:37

if I jump to awareness ?

5:38

Yes , please Sure .

5:39

Yeah , so you know , how

5:41

do you get . How do you get maybe that's not

5:43

the right way to say it , but how do you

5:45

help children become feel

5:49

aware , you know , creating the safe

5:51

space for them to grow , but not

5:53

too much of

5:56

the doting over or the controlling

5:59

bubble , putting the bubble wrap around them

6:01

, letting them have those explorations

6:04

, but becoming aware and becoming mindful

6:07

and being that

6:09

I do believe that that does have to

6:11

a lot of it has to happen in a safe space , you

6:15

know , or consistently , because if they are

6:17

extended and they are aware and they are

6:19

hurt by it , they will tend to close

6:21

up and that's where those trauma

6:24

points kind of set in . Yeah

6:26

, you know , so you

6:28

know . On that other end is is the awareness

6:30

, I guess . Do you have a ? Do you have a few thoughts on

6:32

kind of just you know , childhood awareness ? I mean

6:34

, it's a big subject , I know they can't encapsulate

6:37

it very easily .

6:37

but I think it's huge

6:40

. I feel like trauma and trauma

6:42

is like the new super word . I feel like trauma

6:44

and trauma is like the new super word . I feel like it is . It's really

6:47

good that we're becoming aware of these pieces too

6:49

, because I think in previous

6:51

eras we were not as

6:54

thoughtful about it and

6:56

we're bringing it to light

6:58

. And I mean , the other day

7:00

my son said mom , it's really triggering

7:02

me when you say that . And I

7:05

was like okay , maybe I have used a

7:07

lot of mindful words

7:09

around here , triggering

7:12

him saying these things

7:14

. So or he said I'm feeling triggered right

7:16

now and I'm like well , that's really good body and

7:18

self-awareness , but also maybe I'm using

7:20

too many , too many vocab

7:22

terms around him .

7:24

Right , I know , and it has . I

7:26

know , and I don't want to get off too much , but it has . Some

7:28

of those words have become a little bit , you

7:30

know , socially spread

7:34

and maybe even not in the right context . You know

7:36

people always use them and

7:39

you know , or they weaponize them

7:41

in certain aspects . So but it is

7:43

good that there's enough self-awareness

7:45

to you know to

7:47

to see that in that sense

7:49

you know so and

7:51

but you know there was . I

7:53

think there was one other aspect too , is I I

7:56

kind of wanted to bring up , cause it was we

7:58

were talking about this , and again

8:00

I always jump to something that sounds like I'm talking

8:02

about it , but but I always bring it back . But

8:04

we were talking just

8:07

really about the different aspects and the

8:10

balance again . But what I was reminded

8:13

is and totally going to

8:15

sound separated , but I'll bring it back is

8:18

when you're talking about consumerism and marketing

8:20

, there's the three

8:22

big queen bees are when

8:24

people are marketing and selling , and you

8:27

know one of those drivers . So there's a human

8:29

psychology and behavioral science .

8:31

Yeah .

8:31

Should be like the eye , the other and

8:33

the systems . And the systems could be like an ease

8:35

of process . You're selling an ease of process , you're

8:38

selling an accelerator , you're selling

8:40

something that's solving a

8:43

problem outside of the eye , and the other and

8:45

the other is is how to ? You know , how

8:47

is the world perceiving me ? You know , it's kind

8:49

of those , those things , and the reason I bring

8:51

that up is because it's it's

8:53

not . There are people that at this , at

8:55

this stage , I'm actually seeing a lot of people kind of almost

8:57

check out of that consumer mindset , more

9:00

and more , pulling themselves out of

9:02

that in a real kind of societal way . But

9:06

you're , you're seeing these adults that

9:08

at one point were children and kind

9:10

of . You know , where did that develop ? Where did these

9:12

key things develop , you know , and how

9:14

are ? How did that really kind of

9:16

influence us ? You know , the eye is

9:19

the , the eye is obvious , but

9:22

where were those influences when it comes to the other

9:24

? And then where are those systems

9:27

that are trying to , you know , solve our pain

9:29

and ease

9:31

our problem , ease our perceived problems

9:34

? So so in the

9:36

again , this is all in the holistic

9:38

bubble of development

9:40

and and and

9:42

really kind of navigating . We'll

9:44

call it because we're really talking about , you know , our kids

9:46

and raising them to understand

9:49

some of these things . You know it's like I'm

9:52

kind of asking , it's kind of rhetorical , but it's

9:54

like you know , so it's you know , where

9:56

do you help them strengthen in the eye ? You

9:58

know the self awareness

10:01

, the mindfulness , the your actions are doing and what you're

10:03

saying you

10:17

know we have to have some self-awareness and

10:20

then you know so how you're strengthening your children

10:22

in that window , you know . And then , when it comes to

10:24

the systemization , you know I talked about the manic side

10:27

of give me the list , the to-do list , of how I work

10:29

through these emotional problems . You know , and

10:31

I'm just being silly with some of that stuff but some

10:33

of those systemizations of you

10:35

know , not

10:37

going for the quick , the quick fixes

10:40

, or you know the , the , the

10:42

trying to find the easy button on things

10:44

too , which probably plays in

10:46

the , you know , certain level of confidence too . So

10:49

I threw a lot at you and

10:53

, like I said , it wasn't necessarily a direct question

10:55

, but you know , in the eye

10:57

or the other , you know

10:59

, do you have a little thoughts in some of those windows

11:01

when it comes to the kids and the community ?

11:04

Yeah , we've . So with

11:06

this sorry , I'm

11:08

trying to gather my thoughts with

11:11

my kids , it's been

11:13

a huge piece for them when they've

11:15

when they've developed these mindful tools and we've

11:17

developed them with them . And we

11:19

found a current

11:22

center here near our house , a spiritual

11:24

center that we go to and we've

11:27

built like a community in the center where

11:29

we have friends that are also in

11:31

the similar mindset with their kids

11:34

and raising their kids in similar ways . And

11:36

it's been really awesome because

11:38

my , my son , he loves to talk about

11:40

mindful tools that we've developed at home

11:42

and he's like I'm using , I'm listening

11:44

to my heart , do you listen to your heart ? And

11:46

I'm toning down my monkey mind and I

11:49

mean we have to use labels in our house

11:51

because that's how we understand it . It's

11:58

a descriptive at a nine-year-old yeah , yeah , yep , yep . So it's a different kind of

12:00

label , but , um , so it's been . It's been really eyeopening

12:02

for him .

12:03

That's beautiful that you found a community I don't know , um

12:05

, yeah that's . I mean , that's

12:07

an . That's a really beautiful thing . I personally have

12:09

not . We have not found

12:12

those communities . So

12:16

that's amazing that you found the school and a community

12:19

and the spiritual center to uh with

12:21

with your family . You know , that's a real blessing

12:23

.

12:24

Yep , and also , like our the teacher

12:26

that supports the children in the , the

12:28

spiritual center that we go to , she helped

12:30

found the school . So it was kind

12:32

of this inner interlinking process

12:34

that really helped us and we were like , okay , this really

12:37

makes sense for our life and everything

12:39

that our kids have really needed and

12:41

they've just soared with

12:44

these pieces that we've added to them

12:46

. For them . It's just been

12:48

this process of soaring and

12:50

I really am a fan of keeping

12:53

the kids in their heart space and

12:55

keeping them listening to

12:57

their heart , because I know so

12:59

many of us as we go through grad school

13:01

, as we go through college

13:03

, we're building up these layers

13:06

on us of not being able to hear

13:08

our heart , because we're more and more in our minds with

13:10

our research , evidence-based practice

13:12

that I'm using as a speech therapist and

13:14

all these different pieces that we're learning

13:16

from our books and studying . We're

13:19

also trying to teach our kids to

13:22

study and learn about orcas , because my son's

13:24

really into orcas right now , but

13:26

also teaching him . You can turn

13:28

down your monkey mind at times . You can connect with

13:30

your heart . You can hear what your gut

13:33

is telling you about this situation or

13:35

and such . So that's , that's

13:37

just been really good .

13:39

I absolutely love that the

13:41

uh cause you really are . You created

13:44

a safe space for the eye and the other and

13:46

the community I mean yeah , yeah

13:49

. Yeah , I can't say anything else , but that is amazing

13:51

.

13:53

It's been and that's and that's kind of where I journeyed

13:55

into the podcast world for us

13:58

was . This has been amazing

14:00

for us and I want to try to

14:02

figure out how to share this with other parents

14:04

and these pieces and

14:06

these ideas , and not necessarily that you

14:08

have to come to the spiritual center

14:10

that I go to , but find something for

14:13

you that works in your family and that

14:15

helps for your family .

14:17

Yeah , so in the in the heart

14:19

aspect of it too , do

14:21

you believe that ? I'm not believing this ? Um , you

14:23

kind of see your son when he says you

14:26

know , listen to my heart . Is that ? Is

14:28

he kind of listening to his intuition a little bit

14:30

, or the balance of the logic and the intuition ? Is

14:32

it kind of just this , just very easy

14:35

, just open as a receptor into

14:37

the world and really just hyper , hyper

14:39

aware ?

14:40

He's , he's all of those . No

14:43

, he's um , and I mean

14:45

I he's , he's a Gemini , so I always joke

14:47

he's the twin , where it's like he'll switch and

14:49

then switch back , like it's like one

14:51

side , he's logic side buddy

14:53

, and then the other side , he is the all

14:56

heart buddy . And you know , sometimes

14:58

the heart is very loud and

15:01

jumping in sister's face and can't

15:03

turn it off . So or

15:05

sometimes the buddy is in

15:07

his logic piece and he can't see

15:10

that mom's upset because she stubbed

15:12

her toe and he wants to tell me 20 facts about

15:14

orcas . So we're

15:17

really I'm and I love like the um

15:19

. The whole brain child has really been helping

15:21

me a lot . As you talk about the left and the right side

15:24

, I don't know , if you've , um Daniel Siegel

15:26

. Um , yeah , it's been

15:28

. It was really helpful for me as a parent and I'm

15:30

rereading it again , actually because it's

15:32

like I read it when they were babies , but now

15:34

reading it as he's a nine-year-old , it's a huge

15:36

, huge piece to remind myself .

15:38

Yeah , I'm sure you're picking up a lot of different information , yeah

15:40

.

15:41

Yeah , but it talks a lot about

15:44

the left and right side brain , so that's

15:46

been really helpful for me to like . Oh

15:48

yes , you are in this state of

15:50

right side , feeling the emotions

15:53

, and I can't logically talk

15:55

to you about the process of me needing

15:57

to get your shoes on because we're going to be late . We're supposed

15:59

to meet somebody at the pool . You know , I can't go through that

16:01

right now . I just need to meet you in this right side

16:04

brain .

16:05

Yep , Purely just an open nerve ending

16:07

of emotion Um

16:09

. I can see that Cause ? Yeah , you , you do . They

16:11

do get stuck in that too , so do my boys

16:14

as well .

16:15

I totally recommend it

16:18

.

16:18

We're just looking at anything but uh

16:20

, but what needs to get done ?

16:23

I feel like I don't know . Going

16:25

back to the star children again yeah

16:27

, I feel like so many of these kids are there

16:29

, right , it's so true . We

16:33

go to our kids' school and there's so many parents that

16:35

have sought this , this , this

16:37

different alternative school environment

16:40

out and I'm just like wow , these kids

16:42

are so similar to my kids and

16:44

my son loves it . He said I never knew

16:46

I could love school . I'm like well , that's you

16:48

. You're around people that understand you

16:50

and you understand them , and nobody's going

16:52

to call you a grass picker here . They're

16:54

going to accept you for who you are .

16:57

Yeah , and

17:02

it's it really is . You know there was some , you know a lot , of that heavy judgment in certain

17:04

, in certain structures with the kids . I know I experienced it

17:06

. You know I

17:08

was very turned off by school at a very young age

17:10

and yeah , you

17:13

know it's not a victim thing , it's just I was

17:15

, you know , you're just at that age . You don't

17:17

, you're not , you're not recognizing

17:19

, you don't have the years of comparison

17:21

. You just know , um , I

17:23

, I , I'm not comfortable here . I don't , this

17:26

doesn't feel right to me . That's all you know . Yeah

17:28

, you have no way to have , uh , you

17:30

know relevant , contextual , uh

17:33

, you know awareness or you know

17:35

field awareness about this .

17:37

Yes , and I've been doing

17:39

even some healing myself from childhood

17:42

at school , like where you don't have your voice

17:44

, and finding your voice again . Oh , going back

17:47

to that shyness piece and all of these

17:49

healing pieces that come

17:51

out from school it's almost like school trauma

17:53

, right Things that we had to go

17:55

through in schooling and putting those

17:57

layers on right , those layers of

17:59

not hearing our heart because we're protecting ourselves

18:02

in the school environment again too , and I don't

18:04

want to go too , you know , too heavy

18:06

on it .

18:06

But there is . You know there was a program

18:09

you know we were supposed to , you

18:11

know , recite a certain in a

18:13

certain way . We're , you know , deliver in a certain

18:15

way , and you do kind of lose a little bit of that

18:17

individual that I mean I'm kind of holding my throat

18:19

chakra , I can feel it . You know the constraint

18:21

on that you know , yeah , truly speaking

18:24

your mind or ability even to being

18:26

silly or , um

18:29

, just having fun

18:31

with the communication and having fun

18:33

with the exploration of the subject

18:36

matter too . And you

18:38

know there's a , there's a saying about you know . You know

18:41

a tyrant's enemy is humor . I'm

18:44

not , I'm not saying school is a tyrant

18:46

, you know is a tyrant , but there is a , there's an

18:48

aspect of that control and

18:50

because of you

18:52

know we need to , we need to

18:54

work through this agenda , you

18:57

know , but there was . We need to work through this agenda , yeah

18:59

, you know , but there was . And there was one other thing too , as you

19:01

were kind of talking about with the people you've met is it doesn't have

19:03

to be specifically what we're talking about

19:05

here . There's many modalities and what's beautiful

19:07

is that people are more

19:09

open to it now . And I think some

19:12

of that like heavy , we'll

19:14

talk it . We'll say dominance , um

19:17

structure , industrial revolution on

19:19

structure of like push the bird out of the

19:22

nest , type of thing and let them fly

19:24

, you know , um , yeah

19:27

, I just saw it too on instagram . It was funny

19:29

. It was like there was something . It was like an old commercial

19:31

from I don't want to say it was like the 80s , and it was like it's 10

19:33

o'clock , do you know where your children are ? And above it it

19:35

said man , those kids in the eighties must've been

19:37

feral or something . You know . It was just kind of like funny

19:39

. It was just like . You know , the world we're

19:41

in right now is like I'm not , I don't , I

19:43

don't let my kids walk to Walgreens , you know

19:45

, half the time , or something . You

19:51

know . It's just we used to . You know

19:53

yeah and um , but there's

19:56

also , you know there's obviously there's always

19:58

pros and cons to some of that , the exploration

20:00

and everything else . But then there's also the safety of

20:03

, in a certain aspect , in a certain time

20:05

in the development , that you're allowing them to kind

20:07

of be who they are and be that fill , that

20:09

open vessel with

20:12

things that they're putting in rather than

20:14

the things that are being imposed and

20:16

supposed to be put into it and

20:19

there's going to be a whole lifetime of things and

20:21

you know job situations

20:24

or you know higher learning

20:26

or whatever . That is that those things will

20:29

. Those things will come , that's okay , but

20:31

this is the time that they can build that

20:33

foundational security within that . And

20:36

but where

20:38

I started that line was is really about the

20:40

openness to modalities and openness to

20:42

these conversations like this . Yes

20:44

, I mean just honestly , I don't want

20:46

to say 10 , but for sure , 20 years ago , if

20:50

we were talking about Indigo and rainbow and crystal

20:52

children , you know this , it

20:54

would have been , we would have been shunned by it . You know somebody

21:00

would have been like you know this , it would have been , we would have been shunned by it . You know somebody would

21:02

have been like you know they would have shut . Obviously they would have shut the podcast off or pretty early

21:04

if that was , if that was the case . But but that's what's beautiful , that's the ability

21:06

to for us as adults

21:09

to get to this point where we can explore and

21:11

now create that next , that

21:14

world for , you know , the

21:16

next generation or our direct children

21:18

to be able to explore and explore

21:20

those modalities , those keys , that the

21:23

keys of and I say that I keep bringing

21:25

up the modalities because not every modality

21:27

is right for everybody

21:29

. You know , there's there's breath work , there's yoga

21:31

, there's you name it there's . There's

21:34

the litany soundbass , there's you name it there's

21:36

. there's the litany soundbass there's , you know , and

21:39

and it's , it's

21:45

great to explore all of those , those again , I keep using the word safe , but in those

21:47

in the right context , to explore

21:49

those aspects and

21:51

then find those that that's

21:54

helped to center and clear , clear your mind

21:56

, clear the monkey mind and be

21:58

able to help you

22:00

silence your inner voice , not somebody

22:02

else silencing your inner voice . You having

22:05

that moment of taking the internal I call it the internal

22:07

breath . You take that internal

22:09

breath where your mind is and

22:11

you can reset and

22:14

re-approach it .

22:15

Yes , that's beautiful . Yeah

22:18

, I love that . Yeah , there's

22:20

so many modalities and

22:23

there's a time and a place for everything , right

22:25

? My grandmother was shoving Ed Cartole

22:28

at me for many , many years and

22:30

I wasn't ready . I was in my academic

22:32

state and in college

22:34

didn't have time , wasn't

22:36

ready .

22:37

You were still in the state of like everything had to be

22:39

not everything , but most things had to be measurable . Yes

22:42

, you had to be able to weigh them , measure them , count

22:44

them .

22:44

Yes , and then they would have value , then

22:47

they would be , real Right . I

22:49

was in control .

22:51

Yeah , yeah , absolutely . I need

22:54

to be able to see , touch it , taste it , measure

22:56

it , weigh it , and then it's real . You

22:59

know , and if I can't see beyond that or I can't

23:01

explain it , and then that goes into

23:03

the gut where it's the , you know , you feel

23:05

your way through it , you know you've been able

23:08

to kind of bring that through into the uh

23:10

, to the creative process of understanding .

23:13

Yep , Yep and yeah it

23:15

, yeah , so it's it's . You can find

23:17

your modality . Try , try several

23:19

, because sometimes you end up liking them

23:21

and you didn't realize you would .

23:23

And yeah , I love that .

23:24

It's so , it's so wonderful .

23:26

Yeah , there's a guy named Bashar . I think his name

23:28

is Bashar and I you know he kind of does

23:30

just like some channeling talks and stuff like that

23:32

, but he I remember kind of hearing him talk about

23:34

those modalities and the key , like he was

23:36

. Maybe he didn't do it , maybe this is my interpretation

23:38

, but you know how a key has

23:41

different teeth and the key and the teeth and you

23:43

know , I don't think he drew out this up this is maybe just a me thing

23:45

, it was , um , the teeth that can be ugly

23:47

and rigid and rugged

23:49

, but it's kind of what gets you there , you

23:52

know it's , that's what opens

23:54

the door for you uniquely , and

23:56

you know so . For me it's not

23:59

sitting and meditating for two hours

24:01

. I prefer a walking meditation

24:03

. That's an example , yeah

24:07

, but it's kind of whatever is allowance of

24:09

yourself to go

24:11

to the state of being able to quiet the mind

24:14

, to listen , listen to the heart . That

24:16

center points , that point between and you can listen

24:18

to what you said is my , I hear , my

24:20

, I

24:25

hear my heart . However , you said that I hear my heart talking , or I hear

24:27

my , I can listen to my heart , or whatever your son said .

24:28

I don't remember . I apologize .

24:29

I think he said I can hear my heart . Is that what he ?

24:30

said Hear my heart , hear my heart .

24:31

Okay , so you can listen to your heart and

24:34

those are some of the ways to get to there , and you shouldn't

24:37

overcomplicate it . And not

24:40

everything is right for everybody . So don't

24:42

turn dogmatic with the modalities

24:44

. That's some of the stuff and that's

24:47

the religio , the religions , the dogmas

24:49

that you have to do one , two , three

24:51

, four to do this and

24:53

that's the entry point . And if you can't do it , you're

24:55

failing . And that's where people put pressure

24:58

on themselves when it comes to some of the modalities , but

25:01

it's none of them are meant to be

25:03

that , whether they are or they're not . I

25:05

mean , maybe they are in some cases , but you shouldn't

25:07

receive them as as that

25:09

. It's not a pain by numbers , it's , it's uniquely

25:12

to yourself and it's uniquely to our children

25:14

. They're not going to have the same set

25:16

of entry points and

25:18

opening or , you know , getting past

25:21

any type of blocks that we do . You

25:23

can't oppose our personal

25:25

pains or interpretive views

25:27

on that or get frustrated with them . You

25:31

know , if they're able to hear their heart quicker than

25:33

we are , god bless it . You know we

25:35

don't have to retroactively tell them that they needed

25:37

to go back and , you know , do 45

25:39

minutes of yoga before they come back and it's

25:42

okay .

25:42

You know so you didn't follow the steps

25:44

you got to go back rewind ground

25:48

yourself first . Let's start over .

25:50

Exactly . Yeah , you just somehow you did it

25:52

wrong , you're like , but I feel so peaceful . Nah

25:55

, yeah , you just somehow you did it wrong , you're like , but I feel so peaceful . Nah , didn't

25:57

live up to my interpretation of it .

25:59

I love it . So , Paul , can you

26:01

tell us anything about

26:03

? Are you doing anything fun for father's

26:05

day ? I meant to ask you .

26:07

Yeah , no , it's a . It is a father's

26:10

day . Is it this weekend or next weekend ? I

26:12

? Don't even next

26:18

week or two . So , um , most likely we'll , we'll just hang out as a family . I , I , I really like things

26:20

pretty quiet . I'm not , uh , I'm

26:23

not a big big event person necessarily

26:25

, or sports guy or anything . Sure

26:28

, simplest is best Just hanging

26:30

with the boys and Kristen , I'm

26:32

good to go . Uh , you know , with that , and

26:34

uh and uh yeah , so and I'm good to go , you know

26:36

, with that , and , and , yeah , so , and , and

26:39

I think too , you know , in the sense of the fatherhood , and

26:41

I'm not going to speak for fathers , but I would go back

26:43

to that same thing is just that reminder to

26:45

, if there was a father listening to this

26:48

at this point , is , you know , it's just understand that

26:50

have recognized that gratitude of

26:52

the honor of being that dad

26:54

, recognize

26:59

that gratitude of the honor of being that dad and the recognition and your position

27:01

to be able to really help those , those , those kids . And

27:03

again it's they're not here for us . You

27:06

know , in a sense we're here for them . It's a

27:08

they . You know there's

27:10

that idea of again of them coming through

27:12

us means they're indebted to us in some way

27:14

. It's the complete opposite . I

27:17

, my life , is extraordinary

27:19

and I am who I am because of them

27:21

. It wasn't because , you

27:24

know , in the reverse . So

27:27

you know , I just that's just a short

27:29

little , you know little quip on it , but

27:31

you know , I hope that resonates with

27:33

somebody out there .

27:35

It already resonated , I'm going to share it with my husband

27:37

For Father's Day . Sometimes we

27:39

go hiking or canoeing

27:41

, it depends . Usually it's canoeing , my

27:43

husband's favorite and , being

27:46

from Michigan and

27:49

getting all the gear and the children

27:51

into the mindset of the canoeing

27:54

often can be a battle sometimes

27:56

. Oh , I'm sure , I'm sure it's a challenge yeah , I

27:59

love that mindset switch of

28:01

the gratitude and

28:03

my husband loves to go there and

28:05

so I think that'll be a great piece is

28:07

just being together and being grateful

28:09

for the lessons we're given and

28:12

the connections we have .

28:14

Absolutely . And don't get me wrong , I don't have it all figured out Absolutely .

28:16

And don't get me wrong , I don't have it all figured out here .

28:17

I don't have this . I don't have it nailed down . My

28:20

monkey mind still still sets in pretty

28:22

easy .

28:23

So it's so true , it's , it's definitely

28:25

, it's a um . It's not overnight

28:28

. It's like lifting weights , right , you , just you

28:30

continue to lift your weights . It gets a little easier

28:32

.

28:32

It's a practice . It really is a practice and

28:35

the whole point of some of this too

28:37

, being that it's a practice

28:39

, is it's kind of a dance

28:41

. You don't rush a dance , you dance

28:43

to dance . You

28:45

know it's the sense of . I

28:48

had the . I kind of gave this example because

28:51

work at some of the private equity world

28:53

and some of the efficiency thinking and you know the straight

28:55

line and stuff , some of the straight line thinking , the

28:57

machine thinking , and I kind of

28:59

joked . I was like , well , you know

29:01

, some efficiency expert uh , decided

29:04

on , you know how to improve an orchestra , you

29:06

know symphony , you know they would

29:08

just blend all the blend all the notes together

29:10

. So you just go there and it would be ding , okay , we're

29:12

done , you know . And

29:16

, um , you go there and it would be ding , okay , we're done , you know , and , um , you know

29:18

, the whole point of a lot of this is the practice is that it's that experiential

29:21

time and to be there presently at

29:24

you know some adults

29:26

. Uh , you know , we we do have that's

29:28

a . It could be a challenge for us . You know , when we're

29:30

wrapped up in our , in our days , our weeks

29:32

, our , our mon , our monies , our careers are

29:34

you know , uh you

29:36

know , and remembering to kind of listen to the music

29:39

and make sure you remember that to

29:41

to dance all the steps you know

29:43

.

29:43

So that's beautiful . It's

29:45

so true Cause I think in so many of

29:48

the spiritual worlds when

29:50

you're reading on things like the tips

29:52

to here's your tips to be

29:54

enlightened , like I

29:58

got the instructions

30:01

.

30:01

I'm going to knock these out . I

30:03

am feeling great and

30:05

then all of a sudden , at one in the morning , I'm staring at the ceiling

30:08

, stressed out . I'm like , oh my gosh , I can't sleep .

30:10

Well , you missed step number four . That's why .

30:12

Yeah , exactly . So you know , I must've

30:14

skipped a step somewhere and and

30:16

I don't mean to go here cause this is one of those long , long

30:18

conversations , but I'll condense it was in

30:21

that sense too is the beating

30:23

ourselves up and the self-talk and all

30:25

those things is is some of that

30:27

stuff with the awareness is that

30:29

you become hyper aware and you can

30:32

become too hyper aware of

30:34

everything . Yes , everything

30:37

all of a sudden starts to have meaning and you start

30:39

judging , weighing and measuring everything

30:42

on an emotional scale and

30:45

not everything can . And you try , you know

30:47

, and like there is , there is some , and that's what

30:49

some of those , some people talk about when they start on the spiritual

30:52

journeys too , is they'll

30:54

you get caught in a little

30:56

bit of that trap ? You know , it's

30:59

this , you know it's uh , the recognition

31:01

of the catalyst . You know the remembrance

31:04

of the catalyst and then you

31:06

create , creating series

31:08

of negations where you're like it's not

31:10

this , it's this , it's this , not that you know

31:12

, and just really

31:14

dive and overanalyze it . And

31:16

you know . One other thing too with that is that

31:18

some things with awareness

31:21

is , once you become a bit more aware

31:23

and again it's not a level , it's just personal

31:25

tone is that can't

31:27

fool yourself with the delusions you know

31:29

some of that stuff meaning that you

31:32

know the , the , the BS or the

31:34

lies you told yourself at one point that

31:36

you can kind of convince yourself on . You

31:38

know those get dispelled . You know

31:40

as your awareness grows , so you

31:43

become hyper aware of everything at

31:46

some level . You know

31:48

, I don't want to say that it can become

31:51

painful , but it can become very

31:53

like you know , the world becomes much more

31:55

vibrant in that sense and when you

31:57

cut things out , like , you know , the

31:59

drinking or any other substances

32:01

in your life and gluten for

32:03

us ?

32:04

Yeah , Honestly seriously

32:07

.

32:07

You know even some of the oils and the fast foods

32:09

and you know whatever somebody criticizes that

32:11

but , like you know , yeah , yeah

32:14

, you improve your diet . You're not drinking alcohol

32:16

, there's no other substances , things like that . You

32:18

, you really physically , are more aware , and then

32:20

when you open your spiritual channels

32:22

, you're even more aware and

32:25

this world can be very hyper , uh

32:27

, you know , vigilant on it , very focused

32:29

on it . So I only say that

32:31

because I've got , I've caught , caught in that trap many

32:34

, many times and become , you know

32:36

, so swung and on the other side

32:38

of of that , where you're like , okay , this

32:40

is too serious now . Now I'm so

32:42

serious about this , like

32:44

I'm , I'm skipping the steps and

32:46

the dancing and listening to the symphony , you know

32:49

, just like rushing the notes , you know , so

32:51

, um , that's it

32:53

.

32:58

I .

32:58

I , you know , without without expanding and going off on a tangent with that one , I think that's a that

33:00

kind of self-explains , you know self-explanatory .

33:01

You know , two of my favorite things for those

33:03

is is you're talking about music , is dancing

33:06

with my kids just like

33:09

opens the door , lets out that energy

33:11

, gets me out of my head space . And

33:14

singing like going in the shower and

33:16

singing podcasting , I guess , is

33:18

part of it too , but yeah , just like

33:20

getting that energy flowing .

33:24

We'll do like parody , parody singing , like

33:26

we'll just , you know , we'll take a tempo

33:28

or something like

33:30

that I'll just start , like seeing some parody

33:33

. It's terrible , it's absolutely terrible .

33:34

The words don't rhyme . I include the boy's names in there and then you know , maybe I'll just start

33:36

like seeing some parody .

33:37

It's terrible , it's absolutely terrible . The words don't rhyme . I include the boys names

33:39

in there and then maybe I'll tease them a little bit , and then they , you

33:42

know , and uh , yeah , some of that

33:44

flex on the you know those , those creativity

33:46

, uh , but I , I definitely I

33:48

think you know the singing and the

33:50

dancing . There really is something to be said about that

33:53

, because the point of that is is purely

33:55

for the , the process

33:58

and the enjoyment of that . It's not to get

34:00

to the end of it . Yeah , it is

34:02

to to do

34:04

that and be doing that

34:06

.

34:06

Yep .

34:07

Which is interesting , and I do think , Alan , about

34:09

that quite a bit with with the dancing Um

34:12

as well . You know it's

34:15

, it's a practice , so oh , I love

34:17

that .

34:17

Okay , paul , you have to tell us what is your

34:20

super human power . Oh

34:22

, I love it .

34:23

I love it . So I would say

34:25

, I'm going to just say , I'm going to encapsulate

34:27

into one word and I'll expand but , uh

34:29

, uh , fluidity . Being

34:31

fluid , I would say and

34:34

I say this because I think in this season

34:36

of my life , which actually ties

34:38

into kind of what the last thing I was talking about

34:40

is becoming a bit too rigid

34:43

, even in the exploration

34:45

of spirituality and

34:48

modalities and in a sense

34:50

of I'm trying to free myself from

34:52

the structures of this world and I swing

34:55

the other way . So you know being

34:58

fluid and you know it's kind

35:00

of being the glass or you know being the

35:02

frozen water or being the steam and

35:05

being able to , you

35:07

know , adapt and be in this world is

35:09

there is a great comfort and

35:12

ease to that when you're able to be flexible

35:14

. And there's

35:16

the things you can change and there's things you can't change

35:18

. And those

35:20

things you can't change , you know , sometimes

35:23

you do just flow through them . So

35:25

being through that flow , Love

35:27

it .

35:28

That's wonderful . Do you have a favorite

35:30

color ? Because I am very fluid

35:32

in my personality and my mindset

35:35

, so I'm trying and I

35:37

can never choose a favorite color .

35:38

It's interesting , it's over time

35:41

, and I do see a lot of like

35:43

colors and or colors and things like that . You

35:46

know , I think some of it too is

35:48

some of it's to draw what we're working

35:51

on , you know , from a chakra standpoint

35:53

too . Like , right now , I'm just gonna say orange

35:55

. Yeah , you see , because we were talking

35:58

about the earthly material thing

36:00

. You'll see those lower chakras . You

36:02

know , if you were to say what's

36:04

pick a color , I'm gonna say you

36:06

know yeah , I love it

36:08

you know , cuz some of that stuff's working on the power centers

36:11

and stuff , or we become , it

36:13

would be the blue , the um

36:15

, you know , the throat chakra and stuff which

36:17

could be a balance of the heart on either side of

36:19

the heart .

36:20

Oh , I'm wearing my larimar . It's my

36:22

throat , chakra one that I always wear , so

36:25

I love it is

36:27

that ?

36:28

so do you not have a favorite color , or is

36:30

it ? Is it is it based on it

36:32

changes it changes .

36:33

So for a while it was this color , and then

36:36

, more recently , it's become more of

36:38

a um , like purples I'm

36:40

drawn toward purples , which um , kind of

36:42

those higher .

36:43

Yeah , I love that . Those some of the wisdom

36:45

colors , the knowledge colors . Yeah , so

36:47

that's what I'm thinking

36:50

.

36:50

Yeah , so it's really cool . But my daughter made me choose

36:52

this shirt today so she was feeling in the heart chakra

36:55

with the green .

36:56

Apparently , so I love jumping

36:58

into it .

36:58

It's really fun .

36:59

Yeah , beautiful , nice balance . It's face between

37:02

again too .

37:03

Oh , there you go , love it , throw

37:05

in the heart , yep . Well , thank you so much

37:08

, paul .

37:08

Absolutely . This was great .

37:17

This was so much for being here . Oh , I forgot to ask you how can our

37:19

listeners find you ? You mentioned , or we

37:21

mentioned , intrinsic mindset podcast

37:23

.

37:23

So intrinsic mindset again . My name is Paul

37:26

Nelhart and right now it's mostly

37:28

on Instagram

37:31

at intrinsic mindset . I

37:33

do have the YouTube channel and some of my other social media

37:35

handles are all going to be under intrinsic mindset , but I'm in Intrinsic Mindset , I do have the YouTube channel and some of my other social media handles are all going to be under Intrinsic

37:37

Mindset , but I'm in the process of building and formally

37:40

launching everything , so still a little

37:42

bit early stage , yeah , but

37:46

yeah , if anybody wants to reach out , please reach out

37:48

. I definitely would love to continue any of these conversations

37:50

with anybody who's open

37:52

.

37:53

Yes , and

37:58

I love following your Instagram handle that you mentioned , and we'll put it in the show notes , because

38:00

that's a great way to follow you and then we can keep up to date

38:02

with when you launch .

38:04

I love it . I love it . I'm actually about to release a bunch

38:06

more shorts on that Instagram too over the next

38:09

few weeks and stuff . I've had some more guests on my

38:11

show and we'll have you on my show

38:13

as well too .

38:14

Great , I'd love that . Thanks so much for

38:16

coming on and connecting .

38:18

Thanks , Carrie .

38:21

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38:23

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38:25

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