0:00

What's happening, lads? Listen, the time has

0:03

nearly arrived. On Saturday the 18th

0:05

of May, I'm doing my final

0:07

tour date at the M&S Bank

0:09

Arena in Liverpool. There's still some

0:11

tickets left. It's the biggest show I've ever

0:13

headlined, but it's not just me going to

0:15

be there. I'll be doing me hour, but

0:17

I've got a few of me mates coming

0:19

to do stand-up and I've got some surprise

0:22

musical guests. It's going to be absolutely unbelievable.

0:24

I'm so excited. And the final tickets have

0:26

just gone on sale. And they're on adamrowe.co.uk.

0:29

You can also get them on the M&S Bank

0:31

Arena website and Ticketmaster, but all the links to

0:33

all of them are on adamrowe.co.uk. Come and be

0:35

part of the biggest night of my career so

0:38

far. And I'm going to blow the roof off

0:40

the gaff. Please come and see us. And

0:42

come and see me doing Dan Nightingale and Fiends, some

0:44

of my favourite rooms around the country and one in

0:46

Dublin. Some of my favourite

0:48

comedians with me, messing around with filming

0:51

it all. Dan Nightingale and Fiends, it's

0:53

at dannightingale.com. And

0:55

if you haven't already, why are you not

0:57

signed up at patreon.com? One

1:00

of the biggest patrons on the planet.

1:02

This podcast, this independent podcast based out

1:04

of Liverpool is one of the biggest

1:06

patrons in the world. Why? Because you

1:08

get value for money. You get early

1:10

access to these public episodes. You get

1:12

an extra episode every single week. And

1:14

every month you get a Patreon special

1:17

and you get access to the entire

1:19

back catalogue as soon as you sign

1:21

up from just three pound a month.

1:23

Tell them about the specials, Daniel. Oh

1:25

my God, we've got so many lock-ins where

1:27

we get drunk in here. We went

1:29

to Nashville. Nashville, that's a three-parter. We've

1:31

done all sorts. We've taken over a

1:33

restaurant. We've had a racing day. I'm

1:35

literally, there's 40 of these things. There's

1:37

so many, I'm forgetting the good ones.

1:39

Amsterdam, Ghost Hunts. There's so many to

1:41

list and there's a new one coming

1:43

every month. The one we've just released,

1:45

the art special is one of the

1:47

most popular we've ever released. patreon.com/have a

1:49

word pod. Go and sign up now.

1:51

I guarantee once you're there, you'll never

1:53

leave in a bit. Nice one. You're

1:58

listening to the funniest podcast. in

2:00

the game from the heart of Liverpool

2:02

with Adam, Dan, Sensei, Carl

2:04

and Finn. This is the

2:06

one and only, have a

2:08

word. Brought to you by Manscaped,

2:11

the very best product on the

2:13

market for below the waste groom.

2:16

Go Ed, get on me. Hello,

2:19

here we are, here we are. You

2:21

called for the fucking word. Yeah.

2:24

Oh you thought, oh can you? Yeah. I'm

2:26

back on it mate. Back in the

2:28

fucking plunge. Which,

2:31

you know, which is something I do

2:34

and maybe you've done. Oh. Look

2:36

forward to that upcoming Patreon special. Maybe. Have

2:38

you come as well? Have what?

2:40

Have you come as well? I'm a

2:42

pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty,

2:44

pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty regular

2:49

comer, you know. In the morning? In,

2:52

no not this morning, but thank you

2:54

for offering. I'm going to decline.

2:57

Erm, I just feel good, is that alright? Look

3:00

at us living the fucking dream, chatting shit

3:02

in a beautiful studio. I'm good, dip my

3:04

balls in cold water, everything's good. You

3:06

can just tell when you've cold plunged, you have a different vibe.

3:09

Alright, cool. Happy. That in a good way. Alright,

3:12

cool. Yeah, I do, I do

3:14

one before I go to bed as well. And

3:16

you've changed your uniform. You have

3:18

changed your uniform. You

3:21

never normally dress like this though. You're not like me.

3:23

I've already worn this on pod. I've

3:25

worn this on pod. No. You haven't.

3:27

I'm fucking worried. You haven't though, have

3:29

you? I have. You have. I've worn.

3:32

Great, what episode? I've worn it

3:34

because someone messaged you on it. Looking good. When?

3:37

Yeah, because you look like that's how I dress, innit? I

3:39

know, I remembered who it was. Have you got jeans and

3:41

high top blazers on? Errrr.

3:44

Yeah! So

3:46

the bottom half's still uniform. I can't, but

3:49

he doesn't look, it looks different on the bottom half

3:51

because the top half looks better. Alright, I'm going to

3:53

admit, when you

3:55

fucking gently neg mate, when

3:58

you always wear the same thing. I always wore

4:00

the same thing this morning. I knew it. As I

4:02

was putting Cobra on, I was like, I'm not gonna

4:04

do one. But I

4:06

genuinely have worn this jacket. You know what you haven't, I've

4:08

never seen that before. I know you haven't seen it. Did

4:11

I give you that? I have fucking worn it. Did I give you

4:13

that when I brought those bag of clothes in for everyone to have

4:15

a look through? Was that in the bag that I was gonna have?

4:18

This is gonna hurt your heart. This is River Island. Yeah,

4:21

yeah, and so it's not mine. But the coordinates. It's

4:23

got something on the back. It's got something on the

4:25

back. That would be in the inside. Yeah. Live, love,

4:28

G hat. You love that

4:30

with G hat, you're supposed to laugh out. It's

4:36

nothing funny about hedonism. No,

4:39

it's not cool. You're right. You're right. That

4:42

looks good. Well, for the audio listeners, apparently I

4:44

look fucking slightly better than average. There

4:46

you go. No, you look good. I like cheers, boys.

4:48

Well, fuck. You just need to dress with more purpose,

4:50

you know what I mean? What's my

4:52

purpose, though? Coming in to sit with you, loll.

4:54

No, it's not what's the purpose. No, the purpose

4:57

is you're supposed to dress like, to

4:59

present yourself in a certain way. Dress for the

5:01

job you want, done. Right.

5:06

What if I've got the job I want? Dress

5:08

better? Oh, right, okay. Just

5:10

for a better podcast. The

5:13

only thing I would say today, Nice, nice.

5:15

What color are your shoes? Yeah.

5:18

Black. What have I done? So you

5:20

don't, like, you wouldn't

5:22

go black shoes and black hat when

5:24

you've got blue jeans and these earthy

5:26

colors here. Right, okay. What should I

5:28

have done for actionista? All black. All

5:33

black. So black technically goes with everything, but

5:35

that also means it goes with not, like

5:37

a middle-aged road man. Yeah, okay. Like

5:40

the black just doesn't, there's nothing black on

5:42

your outfit apart from your bookends. Right,

5:46

okay, so. Yeah, right, cool. I'm gonna work on that for next

5:48

time. You look like you're off the lock of your head or

5:50

your feet, yeah. Right. Yeah.

5:54

Like there, you've got default hat and

5:56

default shoes on, but you've got custom

5:58

eyes. What it is, mid-zone. What colour

6:00

is your belt? I

6:03

haven't got one. I haven't got one

6:05

either. Yeah, quite a bit. You had a belt

6:07

on. Don't you panties? Fall down. Not

6:10

if you buy tight enough that it's, you know... Not

6:14

quite, but tight enough that you're like, there's no belt

6:16

needed here. These aren't slipping

6:18

down. Phil Collins. What?

6:23

It's gonna fill Collins on, no jacket required. I

6:25

don't know. Phil Collins is gonna be shy. I've said this multiple

6:28

times. I love beef with it. Just

6:31

a bit more sauce and you'd be perfect. Thanks.

6:36

Speaking of beef now, what do you think about the Kendrick and Drake

6:38

beef? Well,

6:42

it will be always associated with Kim

6:44

Kardashian's Fanny from now on in my

6:46

mind because of the Tom Brady roast.

6:50

I'll be honest, throwing it out there, you

6:52

are a big fan of Drake and Kendrick.

6:55

These are two hip-hop artists that

6:57

I've not totally engaged with. You're

7:00

missing out on Kendrick. No, you

7:02

know, like... Be

7:05

Humble, Sit Down. That was just a

7:07

huge bang on it. I played that like a fucking number

7:09

two, but I haven't got into loads

7:11

of Kendrick Lamar. K-Dot, Kenny, King of Compton.

7:14

What taught me through what's been going on?

7:16

Because it's been a couple of weeks, but

7:18

this last week has been... It started around

7:20

a few months ago when J

7:23

Cole started. By the way,

7:25

J Cole. I'm into J Cole. He's fucking amazing.

7:28

I'm just not into hip-hop at all. Genuinely, when

7:30

I seen Kendrick Lamar listed on a festival post

7:32

a years' guide tour, Kendrick was one of them.

7:35

And Lamar was just... I

7:37

don't believe... They were the two headliners for

7:40

the festival. If there's any justice in the

7:42

world, mate, what a tune! Yeah, I'm 50-50.

7:46

Hey, Kendrick Lamar! Kendrick

7:48

Lamar. It doesn't sound

7:50

very hip-hoppy, does he? Look, like, I

7:52

know he is. He's a genius, apparently. So Drake's

7:55

name is... Aubrey Graham.

7:58

Yeah. It's

8:00

fucking stupidest name off ever, but

8:03

it's because J Cole said

8:05

there's the big three There's me

8:07

drinking Kendrick in a song and

8:10

then Drake came up with no There's just me and

8:13

then Kenny went on. I was just me and then

8:15

Drake started making That's what's J

8:17

Cole is a comfortable third though They're both being like way

8:19

the best and J Cole's like I'm one of the top

8:21

three It does make him look like a game for me

8:23

is very comfortably not there as well Yeah,

8:27

but and then now Kendrick's

8:29

calling Drake a pedophile There you

8:31

go Cautious

8:34

dish to heaven get a bad mom's love And

8:37

then Drake said you even got a purple bin Great

8:40

response was odd. No, so Kendrick went either pedophile

8:42

and you've got an illegitimate daughter Like you keep

8:45

in secret and he went a fucking I haven't

8:47

got a daughter Anyway, I

8:49

never touched Millie Bobby row. Yeah, and no one

8:51

mentioned Millie Bobby Rid

8:55

of those magazines. I So

8:57

I've been reading a lot of the battle

9:00

rap communities. Oh, yeah, no sonnet Yeah,

9:02

and there's a few ago and you know, they're both

9:05

whatever but the majority of them

9:07

the majority of them have Drake

9:09

winning minute Yeah,

9:14

Drake used to pack AI in one of the songs

9:16

and it was that bad they got taken that You

9:19

know me like he's yeah, I'm miserably then all

9:21

I've seen Drake's self owned a few times as

9:23

well What Drake has addressed everything the budget has

9:25

said and Kendra hasn't addressed anything Drake said Kendra

9:27

didn't do a dis reply because Drake's last one

9:29

was a denial and not an attack and he's

9:31

like, I don't need to do it. No more

9:33

of one No, and then

9:35

Drake's bodyguard got you everyone. I

9:38

know who that's a say. I don't know what

9:40

honestly that insane. I've not seen Everyone

9:43

I was drink winning like everyone important touch Drake

9:45

when I promise you Did you have a mix

9:47

who's the only voice in this you actually matters

9:49

when Kendrick is when it's by

9:51

a distance as well promise And I

9:53

love Drake but he's losing and he's a pedophile book and

9:56

then someone shot his bodyguard Someone

9:59

shot a dregs house Oh,

10:01

yeah, no kids in there getting a bit nasty

10:03

not ideal that he was fucking yeah and

10:07

then he changed his own Like

10:09

the pins on the mat like Peter

10:11

father was in all like you Wow,

10:15

I mean, that's a pretty loose second to

10:17

the shooting at his house in it But it was a bit

10:19

mad like that angry to them. He's just like what was it?

10:23

It was these James. I think it's so

10:25

funny that rappers just like they're constantly shouting

10:27

and singing about guns and money Bitches and

10:30

everything then every time they go to an

10:32

argument with someone in the industry. They just

10:34

settle it with precise poetry It's

10:38

class do they what has there been diss

10:40

tracks like recorded in the last few weeks?

10:43

Oh each? Oh my god They can't they're new

10:45

as well. It's not like you're not seeing any

10:47

of this Kendrick drop one six hours after Jake

10:49

doctors to be like Fuck you. I'm ready. Oh,

10:51

it is Have

10:54

you just been in River Island between weeks on

10:56

a jacket River Island, you know I've

10:58

been like it's really earthy colors and the woman's

11:00

like calm. That's Drake and fucking Kendrick and What

11:04

it's mad though in it you're like right? Oh

11:06

my god. He said what I'm listening I'm not

11:08

even finishing it get me a

11:10

percussionist. We're going in the studio Oh, they're

11:13

ready to go like the with six hours

11:15

Kendrick doctors reply and basically just crushed egg

11:17

song Mad did

11:19

you say you crushed it? He didn't reply to anything Drake said

11:22

like nothing. No, I'm a drink Right

11:25

people who actually Know

11:28

what you see other than you've not seen

11:30

what like studios or booked up. That's a

11:32

nightmare There's no rebuttals from Kendra. There's not

11:34

one rebuttal. Honestly, you're the only person plant

11:36

earth right now No, I'm not where do

11:38

you know? I haven't got an opinion on

11:41

it I'm telling you the opinions of people

11:43

who do this for the living. Yeah, you're

11:45

reading Twitter What's

11:47

the only YouTube video I Know

11:51

the people who matter the people who

11:53

DJ academics who's this come I don't

11:55

know I can't argue with it cuz

11:58

I promise you're wrong. I promise I

12:00

loved it. You are so wrong. I

12:03

you can't say I'm wrong. I haven't

12:05

got an opinion on it Okay, the people you're

12:07

reading it. I Haven't

12:10

got an opinion. I'm just saying you're wrong So

12:13

how can Kendrick be winning if he hasn't

12:16

rebutled anything because Drake's last reply was at

12:18

the Nile not a rebuttal No,

12:21

Kate Kendrick went you repeat the finally went

12:23

I'm not that's not that's not a rebuttal.

12:25

That's a denial It's not much of a

12:27

diss tracker. That's denying. It's all going your

12:29

this. That's denying. So Kendrick went I'm

12:31

out I've won but

12:34

Oh Kendrick is winning on billboard by 60%

12:38

on billboard by 60% 77%

12:42

of the voters Kendrick Lamar, right But

12:45

that's that's the community isn't it? It's

12:49

people a public both Is

12:52

it a public is public vote? Yeah, that's

12:54

not what I'm talking about. I was a rebuttal

12:58

I The people you read and may

13:00

have changed their minds since as well Right,

13:03

I don't give a fuck. I just think it's cool. You seem

13:05

like you there's loads of new music coming up with you like

13:08

All right, that's a massive to me. It's like if there's

13:10

a country beef you get loads of new songs Yeah,

13:13

wouldn't be as fun Yeah It's

13:16

just I feel like the whole thing is mad in it. I

13:19

think I'll come a few minutes I don't believe any but I think

13:21

it's all like comedy beefs We

13:24

could just like do like hours of

13:26

standard you're the only person I know

13:28

fucking has them publicly Everyone

13:30

else just does the old thing about no don't

13:33

say it coaches. I don't want to bitch. I

13:35

know Slags

13:37

everyone off behind each other's back in agreement what I do

13:39

is I come on have a word and go listen you

13:42

People we've already mentioned You

13:49

Know yeah Lee Mack pissing me right off.

13:51

Oh shit. Why? Yeah, it's just a dick

13:53

man. Yeah, probably I don't know He seems

13:56

like a nice guy. I've got colleagues who

13:58

think we all know I'm

14:00

gonna wait, tell the world. Erm...

14:04

It's got so bad! Who

14:06

do I hate? In comedy,

14:08

who do you hate? Personally, nobody.

14:12

There's a couple of characters I met back in the day that

14:14

were a fucking RC. But, it's

14:18

not enough that they're still around bothering me.

14:21

And there's some pretty heavy-handed cunts secretly,

14:24

isn't there? That you get whispers of like, oh

14:26

yeah, they're cunting you off and whatnot. What would

14:28

be in cunts though in the rap community? Like

14:30

if someone thinks someone's shite, they'll just go public

14:32

and go, I think they're shite, they're doing well

14:34

and they're shite. Doesn't happen in comedy. What

14:37

about that? Tell them you think it's shite? Just

14:40

one. Go on. Who's shite? Someone

14:43

famous who's shite. Oh, do you want to do someone who's

14:45

famous who's shite? But then the person

14:47

who fucking loves this is like, NO THEY'RE NOT

14:49

CRITTER FUCKING BLEES! Like, that's

14:51

what happens in rap though. All the Drake fans at

14:53

the minute are going, no he's not, shit, Kendrick, shut

14:56

up you. And all

14:58

the Kendrickrons are going, no, Lamar's not shit.

15:01

Lamar's heavy. If Lamar gets them all, it's over by the

15:03

way. He takes the fuck away. I always

15:05

get him confused with Simon from Blue. I

15:07

know that's probably racist, but... That's where

15:09

the beef started. Drake got it. He

15:11

got it with the boogers as well. Bangers are on the same

15:13

time as well, didn't he? No worries,

15:15

50-50. What's

15:18

Lamar's other stuff? Because I know he's got If

15:20

There's Any Justice, which is fucking... 50-50, ran about,

15:22

no, I'm 50-50. That's

15:24

Lamar. Is it? Are you sure?

15:26

It is. Complete positive

15:28

view. I thought that was the backstreet point. I

15:31

get them mixed up with Simon Webb loads as well. I

15:34

think that's only a two-yard, really, innit? He's got

15:36

ones where I've never heard of anything.

15:38

When you die, don't let me down.

15:41

Nothing. No, no, no, no, he

15:43

barely made my life. Didn't he

15:45

win Popstar's The Rival? No, he won

15:47

the... He was on the BBC version of

15:50

one of them. Fame Academy. Fame Academy? There

15:52

you go. Yeah? He

15:54

was on the last thing of the year as well. He was class. So it was...

15:57

Duplicity, which is marlin, eh? That you have sea fighters on.

15:59

on the South African version? Yeah, insane.

16:02

Cordon Champions singing on the Mass Singer

16:04

in South Africa. That's just goes to

16:06

show you can't have two talents. He was good

16:08

as well, wasn't he? He was. It

16:10

was surprising. I just thought you can. Yeah, but

16:12

like some people just have really good voices. They don't want to be

16:15

musicians. Sometimes you can have a really good voice, but like, you

16:17

know what? I want to punch people in everything. Would you do

16:19

the Mass Singer? No, because I can't sing, can I?

16:21

Don't do that. People that can't sing, Michael Owen was

16:23

on it. Was he not good though? He

16:26

was the best one that's ever been, but that's just

16:28

from personal opinion. Was he a

16:30

good singer? No. He did Spice

16:32

Up Your Life, and he sang it like Michael Owen

16:35

would sing Spice Up Your Life. Spoke it? Spice Up

16:37

Your Life. I sometimes think, I

16:39

wonder if I've got an incredible voice because I've never

16:41

sang. People don't know. You've

16:44

never sang? Not as in like, I properly tried in

16:46

front of an audience. Go on. I

16:48

couldn't properly. Why? Because I'm not

16:50

good. I just sometimes think that I could be. Hang

16:52

on, because you've, but you have sung, haven't you? Yeah, but

16:54

no one's ever judged it. But you've been like in the

16:57

shower singing, and you're like, I know, if I did

16:59

this in front of people, this might be better. Nobody's a

17:01

fucking, he's one of those fucking pedophiles who doesn't really

17:03

like music, can he? I do like music.

17:05

You don't really? I've just had a conversation about

17:07

it. Yeah, but no, you like people arguing with

17:09

words, but like, that's not the same thing. You

17:12

don't just put music on, do you? I

17:14

listen to it on the cards. I like arguing with them.

17:16

On the cards. It's on the cards. Turn it off. I

17:18

said it that loud, you can hear it through the windows.

17:20

No, but you don't like, you don't like music being on,

17:22

you don't like it being on in here. If we're in

17:24

the lobby and everyone's just sat around, you like to be

17:26

like with a groove, no. Why? Because I like

17:28

to talk to people. But you don't? Often you

17:31

just there on your phone. That's you? You alright

17:33

today? You're a fucking scrap. Go

17:35

on in, look at how he's dressed. No,

17:40

but like, I'll be on my phone, but I want music

17:42

in the background. No, I don't like music being in the

17:44

groove. If we're not always having a bevy,

17:46

yeah, but if we're just sat in there, it's just

17:48

me acting. It's just atmosphere, like. It's usually shite as

17:50

well. It's not? It's normally country stuff. Oh, sorry, yeah,

17:53

it's usually shite. Yeah, it's the

17:55

music that you like and no one else is

17:57

asked about, apart from Finn a little bit. It

17:59

depends. Finn's becoming, he's getting into

18:01

country. He's got less cheesy with

18:03

his country taste. Oh, I will admit that.

18:05

It's improving, is it? Chris Stapleton,

18:07

that I can abide. But when it comes to Luke Holmes

18:10

singing about shag and trucks and that, I just can't listen

18:12

to it. It doesn't do that though. It's definitely one of

18:14

what he's, I'm talking to the fucking trucks. He's

18:17

country-ed sharing, innit? Luke

18:19

Holmes, the populist vanilla

18:22

shit. Yeah, but I think

18:24

his new one's gonna be, because

18:26

his new album's all about being a dad. He's

18:28

got loads of tearjake and far that yoga and

18:30

all of it. You know

18:32

who you always on about the kids? I can

18:34

assure you I'm not. Who you are? Is he

18:36

got a song about cold plunging in River Island?

18:38

No, it's about his children, his relationship. He's got

18:40

one coming up called The Man He Sees

18:43

In Me. Oh. And

18:45

about trying to become the man that your children

18:47

see you as. Oh, beautiful. Yeah,

18:50

but when it's still sound shit. What? What?

18:53

It doesn't sound shit though, does it? You just don't like the lyrics? The

18:55

lyricism is going up. He's got one coming

18:57

up. Don't fuck

18:59

that truck I already fucked here. That's

19:02

my truck. He's got one coming out

19:04

called Hunting By Yourself. You can't go

19:06

hunting by yourself. Hunting by yourself? Like

19:08

dancing on your own. And

19:12

it's about like, he goes hunting

19:14

with his kids and his kids are ruining it. And his

19:16

kids are ruining it. Sorry. His kids are

19:18

ruining it. Yeah. By like making noises

19:20

so that the animals are running away and stuff. But

19:22

he's enjoying it anyway, because he'd rather be there with

19:25

his kids than hunting by himself. And one day he

19:27

knows he's going to be hunting by himself again. Sounds

19:29

like my life. That's really going to connect with him.

19:31

You can relate to that. Because when me and Etta

19:33

get our shotguns out, I think, you know what? You're

19:35

going to fucking ruin this with all your fucking childish

19:37

noise. I could shoot loads of

19:39

voles if you weren't here making memories for the rest

19:42

of your life. And then I shoot her. You know,

19:44

but that, and I think... But you are, you're being

19:46

sarcastic and you are relating to the song because that's

19:48

what he's doing. The thing that's on the undertone of

19:50

that, which is you being like, the memories are more

19:52

important. That's the point of the song. It's

19:55

connecting with me already. And you didn't even know? I didn't

19:57

know! You didn't know! I can't

19:59

wait. I'm gonna download it. Please save it. Oh, I'm gonna

20:01

get the money. He needs the money. He's on the new one,

20:03

Korg, he's the other one in the class as well. Let me

20:05

just find her. Your mum's... Look at mine, who sees him, me?

20:07

Your mum's put weight on, but I still find it attractive. Hahahaha.

20:11

Scarecrow pussy. It is. Grandma's a bit,

20:13

but we don't say that at Christmas.

20:16

Oh yeah, it's all the classics. Can't

20:19

believe how much nursery fees are. Looking forward

20:21

to that. Please do not play a fucking

20:23

that home song. Luke, will you get struck?

20:25

Oh, I'll strike myself. We

20:27

can't get struck. No, it was... We won't get struck

20:29

as they're not out, yeah. Don't play.

20:32

We'll get struck by themself. They're more than love

20:34

of God. Don't play. Fuck, I get it. Unreleased,

20:36

Luke. Oh, remember him that way. It's for his

20:38

grandad. Oh, it's class. Oh, I had a grandad.

20:41

He's already got a song about his grandad, doesn't he? No, that's

20:43

grandads never die. That's Riley Green. Oh, that's

20:45

Riley Green. Oh, I wish grandads never

20:47

died. It's the

20:49

best song we've ever written. Yeah,

20:52

yeah, yeah. Idiot. He's

20:54

gone on, we can't have that today. I wish that didn't happen. What

20:57

about your nana? Come give a fuck,

20:59

miserable bitch. She never took

21:01

me hunting. I

21:04

wish grandads never died. That's it? I

21:06

wish 9-11 didn't happen and grandads

21:09

never died. You paid it live?

21:11

I wish everyone wasn't allowed to

21:13

fuck trucks, but you

21:15

can in a car park. Other

21:17

Starbucks. He's fit him as well. Oh,

21:20

boss. Thanks, man. He's fit. He's

21:22

got a big muzzle. But your family's getting into

21:24

his country stuff. He is, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd

21:26

say that. I'd say I'd tolerate it. Chris Hayk

21:28

around. You getting into it? You love it, don't you?

21:31

I love it. Well, Laura's into

21:33

it, gets played around the house. So, you

21:37

know, if someone was just to do a country all day, we'd

21:40

all be there on the beds. Is she going

21:42

to come? She's coming. Yeah,

21:44

and Antonio, I'm Rummy, I'm partners. There's going to

21:47

be a little gang from Chester. There's no

21:49

comms though. Yeah, I get it. No comms.

21:51

I'm just a ticket. What?

21:55

I haven't got rounds up here. I've got musicians booked out. You're

22:00

gonna reveal what it is, have you done that yet? Can

22:03

we tease it? Can we tease it

22:05

properly? Not the date or anything, but

22:07

yeah, we're doing a country all-day festival

22:10

on the roof of Pins in July. It's

22:13

gonna be class. Live music,

22:15

DJing at the end,

22:17

country-themed games, like

22:20

hockey sock. Hockey sock?

22:22

Hockey sock. That's where

22:24

you have to sniff someone's hockey sock and

22:26

go, God, you played on Wednesday. Beer

22:29

pong, where you play me for... It's all

22:32

Zoe's Place as well, for

22:34

my Zoe's Place fund. Watch out if Finn's

22:36

going. What? Watch out if

22:38

Finn goes. LAUGHTER And

22:41

Will. Yeah, beer

22:43

pong, where I'm gonna be like, I'll play

22:45

beer pong against you for 50 quid, if I win,

22:47

you get 50 quid, if... No,

22:49

if you win, you get 50 quid, if I win,

22:51

your 50 quid goes to Zoe's. Yeah,

22:54

OK, fair enough. Adam's gonna be fucking steaming.

22:57

He's beer ponging for charity. It's gonna

22:59

be class, I cannot wait, and you've

23:01

all gotta be there, and you've

23:03

all gotta country yourselves up, you know? I'm into

23:05

that. You sold me out. You

23:08

have to go to the Stepton shop and get a new one. And you're

23:10

going to Nashville first. Yeah, I'm not getting

23:12

you that. You said you were gonna bring me one home.

23:14

It's only cos I wanted you that. LAUGHTER

23:19

I liked that. Yeah, I liked it. And

23:21

it worked. Where can I get a... Where

23:24

can I get, like, cowboy shirts and cunt,

23:26

like that sort of stuff? River Island. Right.

23:29

LAUGHTER I don't know.

23:32

I get loads of sponsored ads for this, you

23:34

know, cos I'm fully immersed in the culture. cowboybootstore.co.uk

23:36

is the first one that's come up. Hang on,

23:38

why do you get cock pills, then? It's

23:43

based on your cookies, innit? So Adam gets country

23:45

stuff, cos that's... Right, he foxes classics.

23:47

LAUGHTER Why

23:49

do you get cock pills? I

23:51

get adverts for, you know, when you don't want to

23:54

burden your family with your funeral costs. I

23:56

get that. But you get a free pen. Heee!

23:58

Do you not get cock pills? I

24:01

get every man

24:03

over 30 should be getting them so you're like

24:06

your algorithm thinks you're a bitch, okay? Go to

24:08

the one cost bills. No your algorithm thinks your

24:10

dick is so sound. I don't need cockles. I'm

24:12

not a bitch Really

24:14

cause it's so defensive. It sounds like

24:17

you do need cockles And

24:22

I can cover those funeral costs that are a real worry

24:25

as you get to a certain age Are

24:27

you getting them really? No not really. I was just you

24:29

ever used a cock bill. You used a by I go

24:32

Yeah, once packing the day just hurt afterwards.

24:34

I heard yes my

24:36

erection won't go down for about four hours Nice

24:40

leap on my front so it's still I was pitching

24:42

a human tent. Did you get it legally or was

24:44

it a little bung? Did

24:47

you get a bung? Rob

24:49

Riley gig. Thanks for doing rush down 150

24:52

quid and if you was in a legal Viagra

24:54

before they were mass marketer. Oh,

24:56

is it from the kimmy? Kimmy's

24:59

but I was 28 at the time so it

25:01

wasn't like an official is my prescription this thing

25:04

ain't working doc Who got

25:06

you know someone gave it me. Yes. It

25:08

was an illegal one. Oh, it's not illegal one strong

25:10

one It felt strong.

25:12

Yeah, it was a good size as well. It's like one

25:14

of them tablets. You're leaving the fish tank Well, I was

25:16

of intrigue. I've never had a problem with me dick I've

25:18

got mates my age you're like you've never had a problem

25:21

with you this like I've never not been able to It's

25:24

always just being sound. I'm ready to go. Oh, yeah,

25:26

even like drunk I like when I'm

25:28

drunk I can fuck for hours. I

25:30

just will not come You know me

25:32

it just doesn't want to confuse us.

25:34

No won't go like a for a

25:36

long It's how they said that we're

25:39

your algorithm for ladies um, but I

25:41

use one just to see what it's like it and it is

25:43

good like It's

25:45

fun. Are you still using that other one

25:47

that we won't say the name of because you haven't sponsored this Yeah,

25:51

I've tried. I've done it a couple of times. Are you still I?

25:54

Don't think I've done it since we had a conversation about it sex

25:58

or the pill The

26:00

what? Umm... I

26:04

can't remember when we last talked about it, but you know, it's

26:06

not like we're banging 18 times a week, so... Probably

26:09

the last time. But that was... Yeah.

26:11

Ah, f**k's a day. That's

26:14

not just a Viagra. Yeah, that's a... A

26:16

length, I know. I don't know what it is, you know what I

26:18

mean? It's just a thing that... Online

26:20

said, hey, this'll be good. Should try it and I'll...

26:22

I hear placebo. Maybe it's just skills. But that's fine.

26:24

All minstrels. But if I think it... If I

26:26

think it's work... Oh. No,

26:30

I don't know. But the thing is, it's not about

26:32

being a bitch, is it? It's about... If

26:34

you've got erectile dysfunction... That's

26:37

not a f**king... That's not something you have to

26:39

suffer through going, I'm not a b**ch. I've just

26:41

got a floppy dick. F**king punching walls. Can I?

26:43

There's a way of dealing with it, innit? Yeah.

26:46

It used to be a stigma, doesn't it? However... Those

26:48

are legal blue ones that are massive. If

26:51

you don't have ED, you don't

26:53

need them. It's too much. Your dick goes,

26:55

What's happening? And it stays like that for

26:58

ages. What was that? I tried to have

27:00

a nap. What's that? What

27:02

up? It was doing its own diss tracks. Hard

27:05

work. You guys have a nap because you're too much

27:07

of an erector? No, I'm just gonna have a nap

27:09

anyway. So hard to say. I

27:15

have a coffee of argument in that. That's

27:17

what I had a good afternoon though. You would wake

27:19

up ready to go. Yeah,

27:22

that's when I was single. I had my own flat in Manchester.

27:25

It's off on Gary's, isn't it? Can't

27:27

believe you don't get out of this, fella. No, I

27:29

really don't. Maybe I should. No health stuff at all. No

27:32

like men's, men's health kind of stuff. No,

27:34

maybe you're not getting a best for it

27:36

because you're already buying it. You're already subscribing.

27:38

Your algorithm knows. Yeah, like don't give him

27:41

any more. He's got too many. But

27:43

that's the annoying thing about the algorithm. It's like

27:45

once you've you start looking for stuff and

27:47

it goes, this guy's into. So

27:50

I looked at some weight equipment. Instagram and Facebook.

27:52

I looked at like some free weights and stuff

27:54

to have at home, maybe in the garden office.

27:57

And then I just went, do you know what? I love

27:59

the garden office. It's useful people

28:01

can stay over there. I can like I don't want to turn

28:03

it into a little gym But now

28:06

my algorithms like hey dad and then

28:08

wait It's like it once you

28:10

have you thought about something a second floor

28:12

on your garden Yeah,

28:18

just another house in it, I mean I think

28:20

everyone knows that's where it's going anyway sent for

28:23

bed separate washing machine Fucking

28:25

I always forget with this podcast is like a generation

28:27

gap It's the main thing was there? I

28:30

always forget you're it. Yeah What

28:35

you're obviously you get in my Hymns

28:37

ones and that and I

28:40

also have life insurance, but for some

28:42

reason it thinks I'm a dad It goes if

28:44

you're a dad born in 1998 Maybe

28:46

it's cuz you and Dan spend so much time

28:48

together new phones in such close proximity and nan

28:50

knows all the time And when you go you

28:52

sleepovers with Robert I Get

29:02

a lot of the minute the Chinese at the

29:04

team Oh

29:08

my god on Twitter all the time with the one

29:10

with the music just plays. Yeah, yeah, yeah That's

29:13

getting on my nose. You used that didn't you? Do

29:16

you use team who team is a good

29:18

place their country sheds? No, I did

29:20

the one where we got the Jog

29:22

40 sure that are unbelievable. I used the

29:24

H gate for a while, but it's a

29:27

really Full on app

29:29

that doesn't it like it's

29:31

one of those ones where you can't turn off note I don't

29:33

know. It's just very in your face Well,

29:35

well if you order from it, you just constantly

29:38

getting spammed on your own phone. It's a weird

29:40

I just think the Chinese apps like we don't

29:42

give a fuck about GDPR Well, you're playing our

29:44

own rules team who've been harvesting

29:46

everyone's data They've been Have

29:50

you seen China hacked the Ministry of Defense and

29:52

apparently they got access to the bank details of

29:54

everyone in the armed forces In the UK all

29:57

the military and all the police and the firemen. Yeah,

29:59

right The armed forces. The armed

30:01

forces. Well, they said the military,

30:04

the armed forces and the emergency

30:06

systems. Holy shit. Why did

30:08

he want to see John's aunt? Yeah.

30:10

He said John's. What

30:13

are they going to do with that? They're going to send everyone

30:15

a hand for the Christmas. Oh, really nice.

30:18

Lovely, actually. This is the thing. Everyone thinks

30:20

China's getting everyone's data for like, you know,

30:22

like nasty means. It's not that. They're just

30:24

trying to be, they're trying to get immersed

30:26

in Western culture. This is it. Some random

30:28

fireman. Some random fireman

30:30

gets an extra 100 quid from the Chinese.

30:33

Yeah. Like if China is

30:35

just dead sound, not at all. Just getting all our

30:37

data just to stop working. They seem it, don't they?

30:39

You love China looking. I love being a fan of

30:41

that Chinese. I don't see people who give a fuck

30:43

about China at all. Really? Wow. They

30:45

don't affect my life. Yeah, they do. Personally,

30:48

they don't. They don't go

30:50

home and China's in my kitchen. No.

30:53

Got no police. All your appliances,

30:55

though. Sounds good. All

31:00

my appliances. Is smeg from China? I

31:03

don't know. Comes out your car. What

31:06

is smeg? I know it's a brand of fridges. But

31:08

on top of that. It's dry. Come on your cock,

31:10

innit? I thought it was like the,

31:12

like, not that I get this, but

31:14

like the mold under your bellend. That's

31:17

fine, isn't it? That is. That's nothing to do with

31:19

the Chinese. Hopefully. No,

31:22

they put smeg on your cock. It's

31:25

like the 230. Or

31:27

the salmon. Italy.

31:29

There you go. OK. Can

31:31

I genuinely ask, what are they doing?

31:34

Why are they getting bank details? What?

31:37

They want all your data, don't they? No, but

31:39

this is when people go, they're getting your data.

31:41

You're like, to do what? To be like, look,

31:44

there's a fireman in Peterborough. That's

31:46

his sort of code. And what

31:48

is that doing for the global? I don't think that's that bad

31:50

a way to do that again. No,

31:54

don't. That was a joke. All

31:56

right, lad. I think they're just trying to gather them up. So

31:58

when they attack, they know that there's firemen in Peterborough. don't staff

32:00

eyes there I

32:03

mean When they attack When the

32:05

Chinese arsonists come over They can attack now and

32:07

we're all fuck mate They know everything about you

32:10

That's not a rugby team, innit? What,

32:12

because I bought a Borussia Dortmund top from 1996 Yes,

32:15

they know what your weaknesses are Yeah,

32:17

he loves retro football kits They

32:21

just want as much in pose they can possibly get They

32:23

know where you live? Oh look at this, Fiorentina's son You

32:25

know where dad lives, he's not in the army Nobody

32:28

bought a football top off Yeah,

32:30

I'm in, I'm fucked I

32:33

don't mind then I generally don't mind the

32:35

Chinese I don't know any bad ones No, of course,

32:37

they're not the people I'm not You know, just in

32:39

terms of world regimes You

32:42

know, Russia, China, North Korea Do you hate them?

32:45

It's not a question of hate, is it? North Korea

32:47

just seem like they're like It's obviously

32:49

like he's a bellend and he's a dictator and that

32:51

But he just wants to dictate his own people to

32:53

me He doesn't seem like he's got

32:55

any ideals on world invasion He's just

32:58

like Apart from the nuclear weapons though What?

33:00

No, that's not just for his people I think

33:02

that's to threaten the people in North Korea, innit?

33:04

It's just like, listen, I'm in charge lad Do

33:07

you wash it up or I'll fucking blow your house off? I

33:09

don't think they would leave me like this, I like I

33:11

tell you what, we'll nuke ourselves That wasn't

33:13

it, I don't do that Do what I say, what you

33:16

want, the right to vote I'll fucking nuke you, me and

33:18

everyone I won't do it Well

33:20

they say the thing is defence

33:23

Because they're like, we're the little guy And you know, all the

33:25

medicals are gonna fuck us They say there's

33:27

a defence Yeah and I believed them If

33:30

I was North Korea, I'd be scared of

33:32

my question Oh yeah, Western foreign policy stinks

33:34

With like, the states It's very

33:36

controlling, isn't it? But now

33:38

there's other superpowers Who are trying to be

33:40

controlling as well That's China

33:43

Batman's getting more Is Trump gonna win

33:45

again? Yeah Did

33:48

you see the thing with Stormy Daniels And she was

33:50

talking about sucking him off and all that In court

33:53

Banking him Yeah But

33:55

he's untouchable His fans don't care about any of

33:57

it He doesn't like it because he's all about

33:59

ego But he's also he's gonna

34:01

run for president from prison. He's gonna win

34:03

as well Joe if you're in prison

34:05

you can run for president, but you can't vote for president Isn't

34:08

that mad? When's the impeachment when's

34:10

it happening? He's been

34:12

impeached. No. No wins. How is he? What is

34:15

he gonna? He's on trial now He's

34:17

like lying on what his finances for all

34:19

shit and paying people off and all that

34:21

He's on trial in court right now whilst

34:23

running for president and he's dropped 0.1% to

34:26

Biden in the polls And

34:30

he's gonna be the the Republican

34:32

candidate. Yeah, and he'll win again Just

34:35

go in cuz Joe Biden is going to be dead by

34:37

then Yeah, but

34:39

the economy is not in a bad state

34:41

is it that's the thing They've always said

34:43

that if the economy if you go into

34:45

an election with the incumbent president and the

34:47

economy is not trashed Usually

34:49

it it goes quite well.

34:51

I haven't said that though. They all ain't some

34:54

Trump got ever seen him reading pause on the

34:56

teleprompter Oh, it's great. I don't know you see

34:58

now. I nobody's it's been a it's been four

35:00

years of this I watched him. This is the

35:02

slowest fall off of the bicycle at the point

35:05

It's why I've only some because I ease

35:08

a zombie. Yeah, but I think He

35:15

needs the teleprompter and it says pause

35:17

me be he's the leader of the

35:19

free world Oh He's

35:27

not fun, he's not fun. She has either Trump

35:30

has fun shit money No,

35:32

I mean also Davis pretty annoying, but

35:34

I know it's yeah It's good watching but

35:37

in an awful type of way. Yeah, I

35:39

just think Joe Biden's dangerous as well He doesn't know what he's

35:41

doing in the press on the buttons These

35:44

two being the last two presidents and one of them is

35:46

gonna be the next one It's just made

35:49

me think that they don't matter The

35:51

president doesn't matter because it can't

35:53

be that important as they can't be running

35:55

it they can't be Well,

35:58

they're only one third of the government are they really Like

36:00

there's the they're not like it

36:02

seems like the president is running the whole

36:04

shit But then your

36:07

figurehead Yeah,

36:09

Joe Biden any TV show. That's

36:12

what it's like in it like on deck Saturday night take

36:14

away They're the face of it, but they're not really planning

36:16

all of it. They're not fucking the guests on that Yeah

36:22

executive producer yeah, so

36:24

who's that come but we don't hear about

36:26

them do we I we are the

36:28

alumi fucking It

36:31

was his assistant my

36:33

mother Harris Yeah, she's

36:35

the vice president. She's just a friend Casey falls over.

36:37

She's a spike and then she goes oh She's

36:46

the first black assistant manager in American history

36:49

I lose you for that Mike Pence as he trumps.

36:51

Yeah, the next one's gonna be salt and they fell

36:53

out horrifically I'd

36:55

love it. Oh, he did run didn't he

36:57

solve humble American president yeah, no

36:59

he ran for what was it London mayor a

37:02

few years ago Did he don't remember

37:04

this? Campbell ran

37:06

as a Tory for something Oh

37:09

so Campbell's a Tory So

37:13

even the way thing he's done you went from fucking taught

37:15

them to ask always That

37:17

is worse than being a Tory

37:20

to them On

37:22

a free transfer as well. Yeah, what a fuck you

37:24

that was What did

37:26

he run for? It

37:29

was to like

37:31

a council in Kensington So

37:34

Campbell's you fucking Counsel

37:37

he didn't he didn't get it. What

37:39

in one of the ritchers spaceman's all come on

37:41

one of the rich Is

37:44

one of my favorite so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

37:46

in the game Also,

37:48

you've seen the hospital versus the Chelsea

37:51

I Put

37:55

I'll put I'll edit this it honestly so this

37:57

was recorded years ago. It feels like he's talking

38:00

He's talking to me live and he can see me through the screen. You

38:04

were so good by the way. I saw Campbell

38:06

if you don't know him. Absolutely unbelievable centre back

38:08

in his day. I've got to saw Campbell. Late

38:10

night is naughty. I'm on TikTok! Beast. Is

38:13

it on YouTube? I'm looking now. It

38:15

was on Twitter wasn't it? It did Studio 2. Was it? Yeah.

38:19

You got it. Slide the dimps in. Slide

38:22

the dimps in. The

38:24

FA Cup Final Wembley. I

38:28

will be there. What

38:31

a magical stadium. Such

38:33

great memories. What

38:36

a wonderful Cup. Arsenal. The

38:38

Arsenal. Versus the Chelsea. What

38:41

a game it's going to be. What a game. I

38:44

wish I was out there playing myself. God.

38:49

Those are the days. Well. It's

38:53

all down to you now guys. What

38:55

a game. Make it a spectacular

38:57

game. And he didn't win the

39:00

election. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the occasion. Win the

39:02

game. But. Win

39:05

the game. Keep on going

39:07

to the last second. That's what it's all about.

39:10

Chelsea are our favourite. But

39:12

Arsenal remember. The

39:14

FA Cup. Anything can

39:17

happen. The

39:20

smile at the end. I can see it. I'm

39:23

going through the bowl. Is

39:25

he? Listen.

39:27

As a Potsman. Are you thinking.

39:31

No he's not Pots. He's definitely gone.

39:33

Yeah he's pissed. Yeah. But he is

39:35

Arsenal. The chills. Babe I'm doing a

39:37

video. Don't come in. His

39:41

wife's gone by the way. I'm

39:45

leaving Salt Lake. Break

39:48

time. Let's all go and digest Salt Campbell. Oof.

39:51

Now let's go. Ready

39:54

to pop the question? The jeweller's at bluenile.com. Hey,

40:00

I'm Ryan Reynolds. Hey,

40:27

I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint

40:29

Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies

40:31

are allowed to raise prices due to

40:33

inflation. They said yes. And then when

40:35

I asked if raising prices technically violates

40:37

those onerous two-year contracts, they said, what

40:40

the f*** are you talking about, you

40:42

insane Hollywood a*****e? So to recap, we're

40:44

cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to

40:46

just $15 a month. Give

40:49

it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. $45

40:52

up front for three months plus taxes and fees. Promote for new

40:54

customers for limited time. Unlimited more than 40 gigabytes per month. Mint

40:56

Unlimited slows. Before

41:02

we start this section, just a reminder, we

41:04

have one of the best patrons in the

41:06

world. Sign up at patreon.com/have a word

41:08

pod for an exclusive episode every Wednesday. Just

41:11

us lot talking shit. Loads

41:14

of other stuff. Early release

41:16

of the public episodes. And

41:18

then we've got all the patron specials. I think we're up

41:20

to about 40 now. Some outstanding

41:22

content for as little as three pounds

41:25

a month. You can

41:27

join the lid army. You

41:29

could use that money to support children in Africa or you

41:31

could give it to us. And what makes you laugh more?

41:33

Okay. And that has never

41:35

been put in one of the prerecorded patron. For a

41:38

reason. You also

41:40

get access to have a film called watch along with me

41:42

and Finn. Other things that

41:44

we do match discounts. It's basically you

41:46

get an unbelievable deal for three pounds.

41:49

Just go on it. Go on over locally. It's very cheap

41:51

for what you get. Yeah. Give you

41:53

good price on 40 specials and you get the entire

41:55

back. Just start getting going forward. You

41:58

get everything. Everything we've ever made. We

42:00

will see if you pay for these. Oh

42:02

it's unbelievable. There's like a thousand posts on

42:04

there. It's just unreal. If you're into this

42:06

bullshit, level it up. It's a good price for

42:08

you. Good price. Adam will say

42:10

you're a rug as well. What

42:12

do we fancy doing a tearless, fellas? Do

42:14

it. Yeah? What? We're

42:17

doing a tearless. Teal. We are doing a tearless. Oh,

42:19

can you make my voice, please? What is it? We

42:21

did talk about this yesterday. Yeah, but I was

42:23

tired yesterday. I don't remember any of the episodes,

42:25

by the way. Any of it. Carl's

42:28

gonna sing the jingle. Oh.

42:31

I was about at 7pm last night,

42:34

and woke up at 9am this morning. And

42:36

I woke up and Teddy was jumping all

42:38

over me head. Right, he's just doing the...

42:40

I'm trying to poke, Castiel. I'm giving in

42:42

to him, and he's fighting to me life

42:44

to arm him. This is the tearless. Go

42:47

on, how are you feeling? All right. I

42:49

just had a big sleep. No, I'm nice. Big one,

42:52

big sleep. Big one, big sleep. I woke

42:54

up this morning, because a dog was jumping all over me head.

42:57

Right. Teddy, did you kick her

42:59

out? A dog, an actual dog. That's

43:01

disgusting. Hang on, Carl, do it. Let's

43:03

get clean. And now it's time for...

43:05

Tearless. All right, nice. The

43:08

S was very dry. Right,

43:11

this week, we've gone for alcoholic

43:14

beverages. Ooh. We

43:16

all drink them, not me very much, but are they

43:18

having opinion on them all? So...

43:21

Are you a bit of a bedsman? You just choose it. You're

43:24

like Tony Cruz. You pick a pass. He's not

43:26

a bedsman at all. Really? When he does, he's

43:29

just out-bed the man. He's not

43:31

a functioning alcoholic like some of us, and I'm including

43:33

myself in that. I used to drink a lot more

43:35

than I do now. I'm trying to have a break

43:37

from drinking, and I got four days in, and then

43:39

had a beer in the garden this afternoon. I was

43:41

like, right, from now on till Adam's Arena

43:44

show. Not having a drink. A beer in the garden

43:46

this afternoon, you arrive here. You pass this morning. Oh,

43:48

definitely. I don't

43:50

think... I need a

43:52

sneak. I had a beer this afternoon. You've been

43:54

here all day, don't you? Yeah, this afternoon, 9am.

43:56

Probably just the afternoon, man. Fins drinking

43:59

more. You're on the booze

44:01

at the moment? Not a lot. Actually,

44:03

this weekend was a lot, but... Not a lot. I

44:05

don't like drinking unless I want to get bladed. But

44:08

I don't do that very often. I drank less

44:10

in New York than I would have drank here. Too

44:12

much to do. And also, I was

44:14

just fucking... ...Bevi Muhnodring's over here. I

44:17

thought you had a name in New York. We

44:20

had a few on Saturday at the Country

44:22

Music Karaoke Night. I'm gonna have a

44:24

few at your country day, I'm telling you that. I'm

44:27

gonna try and get Willy's frozen coffee for that day. But

44:29

make our own. Yeah. Ooh, yeah. Willy's

44:32

frozen coffee, mate. You'd fucking love it, you know? It is

44:34

nasty, like... It's a delicious little alcohol...

44:36

Is it in the tier list? It's not.

44:39

Right, the first one in the tier list... Just

44:42

to remind everyone, the tiers are God, Tear,

44:44

Dead Good, Sound, Meh and Shite. Hey, I've

44:46

seen more of the tier list now with

44:48

the S at the top and... Yeah, yeah,

44:51

yeah. But I prefer ours. Yeah, yeah. Well,

44:53

better. Right, so the first one is... A

44:55

classic mojito. Classic mojito? Yeah.

44:57

Okay. White one,

45:00

dark one. White one... I

45:02

love the white. I like the white one. Lime,

45:05

sugar and soda water.

45:07

That's it. Modeled

45:10

instead. Not shaking, of course. Are you gonna

45:12

do the ingredients for all the... Yeah. Alright,

45:15

cool. We should do, yeah. I know it's nice, I like it. We absolutely

45:17

should do. Ah, you've...

45:20

Is it a cocktail? Are we counting as a

45:22

cocktail? One of the most massive cocktails. Is it

45:24

a cocktail? It's one of my favourites. I

45:26

think it's a fucking belter. I

45:29

think, here's my opinion on it, I

45:32

think it goes in sound. I'm gonna... Because

45:34

I think it could go in dead good. But

45:37

the only problem with a mojito is, they're over with

45:39

so quickly. So much ice. So

45:42

much ice in a mojito. They're just

45:44

gone. Yeah, I have iceless mojitos,

45:47

it really helps. Loot warm and

45:49

you have diabetes within an hour. Maybe so,

45:51

sorry. I

45:53

put it at the very top of sound, it's nearly

45:55

dead good. I need it in dead good. You

46:00

can't have a mojito in sound, it's too fun!

46:02

I think it can move, I think it should

46:04

go in there good. But it depends what's coming

46:06

off. I wouldn't ever order one. I

46:09

think it's a bit basic, a bit bland for

46:11

me. I order them with spiced rum. I

46:13

don't need as much sugar, so like half the

46:15

sugar and spiced rum instead of white

46:18

rum makes it a better drink. Now can I

46:20

just, can I go back to... Also raspberry makes

46:22

it a better drink. I truly believe that

46:24

there are certain types of booze make

46:26

you a certain type of drunk. Yeah

46:29

of course yeah. Not everyone, but

46:31

I like my mojito drunk. I like a

46:33

rummy drunk. I

46:36

want it in there good. I think it's, I think it's... I

46:38

think it's there good because it's well known. No one's gonna be

46:40

like, oh let's get a round of mojito's, it's like, oh yeah

46:42

it's sound. I feel like it's a bit more fun than that.

46:45

It could move though depending on what's going

46:47

on. Alright let's see. I understand your argument

46:49

but I think I'm absolutely right on

46:51

that. I think it's a very top of sound. But

46:53

there's someone who keeps commenting on these going, Adam just

46:55

gets his way on these all the time so you

46:58

know what then. Fuck you, it doesn't

47:00

sound. No it's going to Debez. It's going in

47:02

Degov. It goes in Degov for now. Because

47:05

someone's positive energy about something overrides

47:07

me. I'm sorry. Okay the next

47:09

one is an old fashioned God

47:11

tier classic. Right next one. It

47:15

is probably the coolest drink on there. It's

47:20

such a cool baby. Am I gonna get spanked on this

47:22

one? I don't know if I've had

47:25

an old fashioned you know. What's an old thing

47:27

you have? Oldest drink, can I? Well

47:29

obviously not but it's the oldest cocktail. Mead.

47:33

What's the, what is a, well technically actually

47:35

an old fashioned is any drink made the

47:37

way you make an old fashioned. I like

47:39

a tequila old fashioned which I used to

47:42

make in Miyagi. Is it a bit sour?

47:44

No. Not even a little tiny bit.

47:47

No. It's alcohol, ice,

47:50

bitters and an

47:52

orange flavoured garnish. It's

47:56

not for this faint hearted. So

47:58

it's a large measure of. You spit

48:00

it and typically it's made with a American

48:03

whiskey like a bourbon or a rye and

48:06

I would prefer an Sweet

48:08

bourbon personally. They feel very well-stared

48:10

as well and you stare

48:12

it until it's just before perfecting

48:15

the mixing the What's

48:17

it called? The Silver

48:20

Shaker Stary

48:24

mixing glass it's a glass You

48:27

got the name of it and you're a bedspoon

48:29

You know you said it's just before perfect in

48:31

that because you want to be perfect in the

48:33

glass not in that and then you pour it

48:35

over a very large block of ice in your

48:38

servant glass and once you've poured it

48:41

in you Garnish it

48:43

and fresh you you what you call this you

48:45

zest an orange over it and it gets like

48:47

just a hint of orange flavor And

48:50

makers mark old-fashioned is my favorite and

48:52

that's not gonna be a very popular

48:54

thing for people who are proper Cocktail

48:56

people because they're like it should be

48:58

a stronger whiskey like people want it

49:00

to be like Over 90 proof

49:02

and stuff, but I I think it's

49:05

the coolest one It has to be

49:07

made right as well Like a mojito

49:09

you can make okay, it'll be fine if this is made wrong.

49:11

It's just shit It's

49:13

it's a perfect drink if you if

49:15

you like alcohol, and I do if

49:17

you it's a very strong tasting Drink

49:20

it's got a belly. It's a punch of a

49:23

flavor This right now by the end of

49:25

this tier list I am gonna want to get hammered of

49:27

this afternoon the coolest things and then making me what look

49:29

at well He's dying for a best Well,

49:31

I I don't know it so I'm gonna have

49:33

to what do you think Finn? I've only tried

49:36

one about I tried one of Adam's once didn't

49:38

like on but I don't like it I don't

49:40

think it's gonna be things on the air that

49:42

we don't like But you have to

49:44

accept or a good bevy it looks if

49:47

I liked it I'd you look

49:49

cool as fuck haven't it Ordering

49:51

an old-fashioned makes you look like you you yeah,

49:53

you're in a speaking. I think it's got to

49:55

you for that reason Okay, all

49:58

right. Let's do it and people who love it. It's me not

50:00

even my favorite like one of those like sort

50:02

of little subsection drinks because I put that in

50:04

the same sort of like category

50:06

as a Negroni and a boulevard and

50:09

a Manhattan short and my favorite one

50:11

of those is boulevard I like a

50:13

boulevard the a served old-fashioned a boulevard

50:16

a served over a large block of ice is

50:19

my favorite drink but it has to be

50:21

in a very good bar with someone who knows what

50:23

they're doing right

50:25

next one I can spare an ice spin but

50:28

in a smaller glass that

50:30

sounds nice and next one I've

50:32

put Madri but we're just going

50:34

for Lager no

50:36

you can't you've got to do Lager

50:38

by brands this has got

50:40

to be Madri then it then it needs to be

50:43

a separate tier list because we can't this

50:45

is the point I made when we were when we

50:47

were planning this to just say

50:49

Lager is there's such

50:52

a wide range and then it we're going

50:54

up against not brands of other alcohol just

50:56

to type let's do a mini mini

50:59

top five of lagers I

51:02

tell you what we'll do just make next

51:04

week's Oh you do all later today with

51:06

Chris in we could do it

51:08

again if you want to set it up

51:10

of actual lagers okay because you can't put

51:13

Carlsberg in the same place as

51:15

Miller Highlife because they just don't belong

51:17

in the same bit like Madri

51:19

if we're going just like if we're going

51:21

off B.F. I think it just goes in

51:23

sound like just normal lagers just sound to

51:25

dead good maybe it's the most common one

51:28

but I also I

51:30

put Madri in sound I think it's way overrated

51:32

I think it's got a proper recency bias to

51:34

Madri I think it's well like a new one

51:36

that people branded as well yeah

51:38

but it is but it genuinely is sound

51:41

and you could argue that Lager you're a

51:43

mathematician what do I mean the

51:45

the median it's almost like Lager

51:48

is the one that you it's yeah

51:51

wine and beer you

51:53

get one of them housewife in Lager so I

51:55

think we just put Lager in I

51:57

think it has I think it's sound yeah dead

52:00

sound. It's the most reliable. You know for

52:02

all of our bullshit about Guinness where you're

52:04

like, oh, it's this, it's that and I

52:06

quite enjoy it and the clip that kicked

52:10

off was so funny because so many

52:12

people are annoyed by Guinness nance's getting

52:15

into the details of it. Like

52:17

there's very rarely do you ever compare like

52:19

a type of lager. It's just so solid.

52:21

It's like, yeah, it is what it is

52:24

and it's fine. It's good. It's great, but

52:26

it's not. No one's like putting

52:28

in for the first time and you go, do you

52:30

want to drink cloud and you're going to buy, you

52:32

can get him a lager and just know

52:34

he's not going to be like, what are you doing? It's

52:37

a fair assumption. You can't assume people's genders

52:39

in 2024, but you can assume that

52:41

they wouldn't mind the magic. So

52:44

it's going in sound. Yeah. Yes. The sound

52:46

is better. Apart from if it's fosters and

52:48

it's going in shite because that is a

52:50

worse lager. But anyway, we'll get to that.

52:52

Okay. The next one is a Bacardi breezer.

52:56

I had a Bacardi breezer one night when I

52:58

had had a pill and I

53:01

don't know why I did it in my head.

53:03

I was high and I thought, oh,

53:05

this will be refreshing. It was like I

53:07

put salt on a slug. My face imploded

53:09

like, like it was almost like, do you

53:11

know the sift lemon thing? You get on

53:13

pancake. I used to drink Bacardi beans too

53:15

much on the fucking alcoholism.

53:19

Like this was a like a gateway drug. It's

53:22

a nice out bevy. When

53:24

I was a kid and I knew she liked, if we were having it in

53:26

the pub, like as a family,

53:28

she got, get me a Bacardi breezer.

53:30

I can't remember. This

53:32

is about to get hammered, I think, but

53:35

sometimes I remember like being

53:37

out like on a sunny day and it's like

53:39

someone's got like a watermelon breeze was quite refreshing.

53:41

It's a good day. Everyone's going, I've got to

53:43

quite say, actually, it's not something you know, all

53:46

the very often, but it's a nice little, oh,

53:48

just white rum and some fizzy fruit. No one's

53:50

a snob over it. Everyone's like, ah, that's quite

53:52

sick. Actually. I know it's coming up as well,

53:54

but smell of ice is in the same. It's

53:56

just like, this is a smell

53:58

of ice. It's just vodka

54:01

and a bit of lemon instead of Bacardi

54:03

and fruity shit And I

54:05

think it's got to go in sound because

54:07

it isn't dead good It just isn't dead

54:10

good, but it's not shite. Everyone likes it.

54:12

No one goes he even goes Ah, yeah,

54:14

laughter. Everyone could drink it. Hang on though.

54:17

If I went lads, come on. It's been

54:19

a great day podcasting We've enjoyed it. Sun's

54:21

out Round of Bacardi breezes

54:23

on me. I'd be like, let's go. Of course.

54:25

Yeah, have you been a smirner face back? Sunny

54:28

day, sunny day like today if you if we

54:30

finish today and you go let's go to pins

54:32

and get a load of Bacardi breezes I'm telling you

54:35

right now I

54:38

don't think you would let us in public

54:40

have a round of breezes what flavor up

54:42

to you Love would just here for the

54:44

full holiday. I think I honestly think you

54:46

have got a warped perception of how I

54:48

feel it with Public peer pressure I'd

54:51

go out for a night out with you and

54:53

to make a point I will have a full

54:55

night of drinking nothing but Bacardi, but you will

54:57

feel sick. It's too much You kind of a

55:00

full night. It isn't in the list. Where do

55:02

you fall blue WKD? Then that's all the same

55:05

I know we've just done the fears on all the same,

55:07

but they're not but these are Blue

55:09

wicked smeared off ice and Bacardi breezes

55:11

of the same. Okay, I think smell

55:14

of ice is God see About it Make

55:19

when when I was 18 19 I would have fought

55:21

harder for these but as you grow up you like

55:23

why is it a war Bitch drinks Wow, I would

55:25

pop you know what I'm gonna give you the

55:27

little olive frontier and change I've just said Bacardi breeze

55:30

that I would think goes in sound I think she

55:32

me and off goes in dead good Because

55:34

of its versatility because you can make table

55:36

shanties with it. Right? Let's

55:38

do it. So we've skipped ahead We've got smell

55:41

of ice in there as well Bacardi breezes and

55:43

sound we were putting the heels in

55:45

fucking sound and smear not fire She's

55:47

getting but it's a vase a title

55:49

bevy. It's it's carriable. It's

55:51

just a fucking pie It's just a

55:54

fucking lemony booze is the thing is

55:56

what you're getting wrong, right? Smear not

55:58

fight is like Joe go or

56:00

James Milner and the heato is

56:02

a Ravel Morrison. Do you know what

56:05

I mean? No, it's not! What? It's got

56:07

the shit in it to play for Laggio. It's

56:10

just on its day. It's classed but

56:12

it's very short-lived. Where the

56:15

fuck did you call Ravel Morrison? It's right

56:17

though. Candy classed but it's a short-lived fucking

56:19

year. Oh, not again. Can I have a

56:21

two Ravel Morrison? Theo Wolkoff. It's got a

56:23

very, like, it's got a limited time in

56:26

the sunshine. It's been around forever. It's a

56:28

Brazilian drink. It's 30 and it's done. Yeah.

56:31

Oscar. Yeah. Kaka. All of them. All

56:33

of it, you know. Schmanoff Ice is so versatile. It's

56:36

got longevity. If

56:38

it wasn't part of the ingredients for a Turbo

56:40

Shandy, which is have a

56:42

word, Bev Royalty. Stop happy that's got

56:45

him there. Unbelievable. Right, the next one. Theo,

56:47

let's find a way. It's gonna cause murder. Absolute

56:50

murder. It's already

56:52

started mental. The next one. Larga

56:54

sound. Fucking old-fashioned. God say, Schmanoff

56:56

Ice. Not far behind. It's

56:59

versatile. You can carry it. I think we're right

57:01

though. I think... This is not Muffet. You always

57:03

say you're right on me. No, but I mean

57:05

collectively as a group, I think we're nailing this.

57:08

I think people are gonna be human because

57:10

they're blinded by society's perception of these Bevys.

57:12

Get a breather and chill out. Nobody's

57:14

gutted when someone gives you a Schmanoff Ice.

57:17

Be like, ah, yeah, do you know what? What was I expected?

57:20

That's the thing. That would be good. Surprise me.

57:23

Right. All of these Bevys should be judged off

57:25

if I went to bar and you went surprise

57:27

me. In pokes. You go, hey,

57:29

surprise me. Schmanoff Ice, I'll be like, I'll

57:32

be posing. It's mad, innit? I don't think these are...

57:34

When you come back with a mad tree, I'll be

57:36

like, that's a surprise. I think when we're in pokes

57:39

and you go, surprise me, the only surprise you want

57:41

is either one pint or two. Oh, goodness. Yeah.

57:44

Right, all right, okay. Right, next one is

57:46

vodka mixer. I hate it. It's

57:48

a bird's wing, innit? Again,

57:51

you could make an argument that this has

57:53

to be taken the same way we took

57:55

lager, but I think it's meh. I

57:58

think it's so basic. If

58:00

I go to the bar, I go vodka lemme, and you go,

58:02

Vodka lemme, oh yeah. You wanna be

58:04

as like, it's like, it's like, it's not

58:06

shite, is it? It's not shite, cause it's

58:08

fine. Cause you would drink it. Like, why

58:10

are you doing it? I get a vodka

58:12

lemme when I'm bored of the drinks that

58:14

I'm drinking. I think it's meh. I've

58:16

had too much. I think it's the

58:18

most basic thing you drink from like 14 upwards,

58:21

and it killed me mum. Yeah,

58:24

that's why I don't like it. We can't really

58:26

argue. I know, I know, it's got basic keys, why I

58:28

drink it. It killed me mum. You

58:30

do, you whip it up. Cause I don't like

58:32

booze. And it doesn't taste like booze. That's the

58:34

point. Yeah. So it's better than this? I made

58:36

myself badly sick when I was a teenager off

58:39

cheap vodka from like corner shops. Lend. And

58:41

we were mixing it with Coke, and it's never

58:44

sat right with me since. Vodka meat, that was

58:46

our go-to. Cleanse, oh my god. $7.99

58:49

for like a liter of vodka. There's no personality in

58:52

a vodka lemme. No. And

58:55

we're going meh. We're going meh.

58:58

Cause you haven't really had much of an opinion here. Are

59:00

you putting it in good? I'd put it in sound. Because

59:03

I'm not drinking it going. Oh, it's so

59:05

meh. This is fucking great, I'm going. This is a

59:07

functional, I just want it. Oh, it's a meh? It's

59:09

a meh? I've got sound. That's meh.

59:12

That's booze for me. I'm not asked.

59:14

Just as long as it makes me pissed. Fine.

59:17

Meh. All right. Definitely.

59:20

Next one. I can't even remember what this is. Margarita,

59:23

that's what it is. Margarita. As long

59:25

as we're also including Tommy's in it

59:27

as well. Yeah. It's an

59:29

umbrella term. I think there's

59:31

a strong argument that this goes right next to old

59:33

fashioned at the top. Very

59:36

versatile as well. You get a flours on one,

59:38

you can get a fucking short one. You get

59:40

a straw. It's, and it's such a good, like,

59:43

it's so flavorful. It's tequila in this glass.

59:45

It's tequila in this glass. Tequila's in it

59:48

later on. Okay, right. That's my favorite spirit.

59:50

So probably so. It's God's here, isn't it?

59:52

What you think? I

59:56

do enjoy them. The ones in the States, we've got the water,

59:58

the ones we had in there. Yeah, I

1:00:01

do like them. I don't know

1:00:03

if God's here is strong for a margarita, but

1:00:05

then again if like Yeah,

1:00:09

they're a fun night out again. I love

1:00:11

the tequila drunk. Yeah, but he was cool

1:00:15

Yeah, I like him by a few feel strongly

1:00:17

that they're in God's here Thanks for that good

1:00:19

for me like I do like a margarita. I

1:00:21

think you've been all voted err Adam well made

1:00:23

that good I I I think that's a mistake

1:00:26

I think I think it's a God's here baby, and if it

1:00:28

goes in there good recipe the very top of it That's

1:00:30

fine. It can go the very top of it right

1:00:33

the next one is apple cider It's

1:00:37

got cynical to Leeds festival. It's just

1:00:40

it's lager but for Welsh people in

1:00:42

it It's

1:00:44

Welsh lager if you came up from the bar with

1:00:46

a bottle of magnets I get off look at will

1:00:48

not know it's well I guess it's

1:00:51

for kids a slag about people who want to be like oh,

1:00:53

I'm not English. Oh, my wish me me It's

1:00:55

give me a ball miss Play

1:00:59

and we need to start the whole Like

1:01:06

you could argue it's meh because it

1:01:08

isn't like if I got someone like

1:01:10

just met an apple cider Like

1:01:13

that was a reason for lager going there if

1:01:15

I just met someone you're like me. It's going

1:01:17

about I'm gonna drink get your drink pines if

1:01:19

he went yeah, and I came back with a

1:01:21

pint of magnets Eat up every right

1:01:24

to me. What are you doing? Yeah, it's

1:01:26

meh. It is meh. Oh, it's a ball Yeah, you can't

1:01:28

give it a common What

1:01:30

we have like common where? One

1:01:32

of these all right That's one

1:01:34

now Don't say come inside

1:01:36

there. Yeah, nice Right,

1:01:40

it's meh, um You know the

1:01:42

only side is i've ever really enjoyed are the fruity

1:01:44

ones that are basically Yes, I had a version of

1:01:46

a bacardi breather Record lick like a

1:01:49

cup like better than that a nice burger even

1:01:51

nice cold record It's dark fruits in this list.

1:01:53

No, it's in the shade if it wasn't the

1:01:55

list It's not a game suit drinker as always.

1:01:57

This is not the best ones. This is just

1:02:00

selection of drinks. Next

1:02:02

one Guinness gods here. Thank you good night.

1:02:04

Let's just not have the conversation because

1:02:07

we can't do a Guinness rant every week. I've already had

1:02:09

my say and the culture. Have we getting all voted? And

1:02:11

the culture. It's two on two. As

1:02:13

a drink as in just like not

1:02:16

the people who drink it and the country ball and country thinks

1:02:18

the personality played. I think it's sound. I

1:02:21

think if you add the people who drink it

1:02:23

there isn't a level below. So if this is

1:02:25

like talking to someone who's never watched Fussy before

1:02:27

about Fussy. We're not I'm

1:02:30

sorry you can't have you two being equal

1:02:32

votes to us two. What alcoholics you barely

1:02:34

drink and he only drinks because he's sad

1:02:36

but he needs to go right to the

1:02:39

top. If we're

1:02:41

saying sound I think it's in dead good.

1:02:43

It isn't in dead good. It isn't. It's

1:02:45

the best drink. It's the best one. You

1:02:47

think it's better than no fashion? Personally

1:02:51

yeah. Like I drink more of it

1:02:53

of course. It's not my favorite drink. Not going in

1:02:55

god's ear. It's going in god's ear.

1:02:57

It's going in god's ear. I'll just get off. I'll go

1:02:59

on and off. No.

1:03:02

Ben. Put it in god's ear now.

1:03:04

That's not how votes work. Yep. Two

1:03:06

on two. Nobody should use Harney. But

1:03:08

we'd have put it in meth. You're just a

1:03:10

little. You know what we put it in shite. He's

1:03:13

got the fucking mouse. It's the god

1:03:15

Tia Bevy. I will just keep talking

1:03:17

about Guinness for the rest of this

1:03:19

tier list unless you put it. You

1:03:21

do that. This isn't democracy. Right

1:03:25

next one is a porn star martini. Guinness

1:03:27

is great. What do you think of Guinness

1:03:29

though? I love it. It's creamy. A good

1:03:31

Guinness. Like I shot like seven and a

1:03:34

half upwards. Oh yeah. The best thing you

1:03:36

can ever have. 7.6 away. About an 8.2

1:03:39

porn star martini. I'm not asked. Guinness

1:03:41

is class. It is. Well done. Didn't

1:03:43

get good. It's better for lungs. Yeah.

1:03:46

Yeah. Porn star martini feels like they

1:03:48

should always be associated with Hindu cocktail

1:03:50

master classes. HEN.

1:03:54

DOO. But I

1:03:56

still prefer Guinness. Guinness is a better drink. Do

1:03:58

you put the prasako in the glass? so just sip and sip

1:04:01

you meant to sipping so yeah but a lot of people all

1:04:03

the penis in your mouth or juice I love a peanut about

1:04:07

them yeah I think for some of the knees sound that's

1:04:15

really anyone object it is just

1:04:17

sound sound right there we go because it's

1:04:19

not it like it is more experimental invested

1:04:21

than just a vodka mixer and you can't

1:04:23

be putting alongside Guinness can you because if

1:04:25

fucking isn't Guinness is better okay

1:04:28

next one rum and the mixer shite

1:04:31

you like that I know you've pissed me off just

1:04:37

a check a Bacardi freezer is a rum and

1:04:39

mixer now we're doing rum and mixer boy it's

1:04:41

all about branding and bottle is it Bacardi is

1:04:43

different to if you order a rum and coke

1:04:45

you'll not expect then it tastes like a Bacardi

1:04:47

freezer are you no that's true

1:04:49

all right yeah I know you mean coke is

1:04:51

like staple like rum and coke is I think

1:04:53

it goes in sound a spice rum and coke

1:04:56

is really nice yeah it's my but

1:04:58

it's not it's not as good as a mojito which

1:05:00

again is a rum and mix but it's a specific

1:05:02

one it sounds good as a margarita it's certainly

1:05:04

not as good as Guinness which is better than everything we're

1:05:07

talking about it goes in

1:05:09

sound because it's it's much better it's much better

1:05:11

than a vodka mixer I can't argue it's

1:05:14

not as good as Guinness like okay

1:05:18

right next one tequila and

1:05:20

soda is what we've got but you can open

1:05:22

up to tequila more is drink just tequila god

1:05:24

to you it's such a fun drunk and

1:05:28

tequila and soda but I've never

1:05:30

had to kill them and is class it's

1:05:32

a really good drink I've started to really like

1:05:34

it I would for

1:05:37

the health benefits is that true is the

1:05:40

thing about hangovers true with tequila yeah the

1:05:42

best one bangos doesn't give lauran's I Laura

1:05:45

gets hangover anxiety in this one it's

1:05:47

not as bad I took he let is my favorite drunk

1:05:49

that's how I get drunk I

1:05:51

may I put tequila and soda below so

1:05:54

many of these drinks just for what I'd

1:05:56

want to drink I

1:05:58

can I kind of like tequila but Doesn't

1:06:00

do much for me. I get that you're like,

1:06:02

yeah, there's benefits to it, but the actual flavor

1:06:04

and taste not Yeah, but then you do the

1:06:06

things on what you like rather than like

1:06:09

the act the drink itself I think the keyless God's

1:06:11

here by the way The

1:06:15

killer and so that I can't vote I've never had it

1:06:17

but a shot of the killer with the boys is sick

1:06:19

We do it all the time is coming up, isn't it?

1:06:21

No, there's no shots on this one. We just watch that

1:06:24

penultimate one Southern comfort

1:06:27

I don't wait on its own lime

1:06:30

eliminate Steamboat I

1:06:32

think I think tequila is God's here But I can't

1:06:35

put tequila and so then God's here cuz it isn't

1:06:37

and I would put it I'd

1:06:40

put it at the very top of sound and maybe in dead

1:06:42

good you've ruined the hotel Let's buy putting Guinness there cuz it's

1:06:44

not as good as Guinness, but it probably is sound

1:06:49

Why is everyone shouting at me? Cuz you're

1:06:51

the one moving them. That's fine. All right, so where we go

1:06:53

I'll give you that good cuz you've asked for Guinness that good,

1:06:55

but I think it's above I think

1:06:57

it's in God's here tequila you think it went

1:06:59

but it can't heal her and shoulder we're talking

1:07:02

about Oh that I can't vote. I think I've

1:07:04

never had it. Yeah. No, we're not just talking

1:07:06

about tequila Like I like tequila, but it's killing

1:07:08

soda. It gives me a fucking wet one mate.

1:07:10

Yeah I put a key that's older than sound

1:07:12

and there's probably poo but

1:07:14

tequila is What do

1:07:16

you think of tequila car? It's just crazy Thank

1:07:19

you. Look all right. It's going in sound

1:07:21

next one car. You could talk about this now pina

1:07:24

colada Are we on holiday if

1:07:27

we're on holiday if we're on holiday It's

1:07:29

fucking gods here if we're

1:07:31

if we're in pogs in December, it's

1:07:34

a sex offense No, you've got a

1:07:36

judge on when you would have it. Yeah, but even

1:07:38

on all day. It's not God's here. Oh, it's Absolutely

1:07:41

God's here On

1:07:46

holes Oh better

1:07:48

than a guinea you've over I don't want

1:07:50

to get this on holiday. It's all about

1:07:52

that. You're overpaid for the Sun bed You're

1:07:54

telling me all over the It

1:08:00

is a fucking holiday drink. It makes me

1:08:02

feel like I'm always for any other time of

1:08:04

the year any other place like if I

1:08:06

Would gig in you imagine like get around

1:08:08

drinks before the gig I'll leave the club pay for it

1:08:11

great can have a pina colada you'd be taken off the

1:08:13

bill Insane

1:08:15

a fucking wake or a funeral

1:08:17

imagine that around a pina colada.

1:08:19

It's what Jeff wanted I would get a pina colada on

1:08:21

a few more. I think it's a flex

1:08:23

but on holiday god here. It's an Asteroid

1:08:26

not here. Oh, it's no it isn't superb.

1:08:28

It's fucking not where are you putting that

1:08:30

madness? Tastes like the sun lotion that you're

1:08:33

rubbing on your body Load

1:08:38

it fucking I don't want on all of the

1:08:40

and be like quite nice that I get me

1:08:42

a proper baby. It's for gimps I

1:08:46

think it should be got here. Yeah, yeah Wrong

1:08:56

we started so well and it is

1:08:58

so wrong Tequila and sodas in the wrong one

1:09:00

Guinness in the wrong one Peter collard is in

1:09:02

the wrong one. Oh so

1:09:05

bad I'm

1:09:11

not even me I'm not getting involved with

1:09:13

it. I'm not sharing it. It's a load

1:09:15

of shite. We have fucked it We've

1:09:18

got two left Next one

1:09:20

is a steamboat so that is something convert lime

1:09:23

and like if you're not a 17

1:09:25

year old underage drinking at a function room

1:09:27

for someone's baby It's shite if

1:09:29

you didn't the Broadway God to you anywhere else

1:09:32

shy. It's shite. I love a

1:09:34

steamboat Yeah, we haven't grown up yet. That's why

1:09:36

shite it tastes Synthetic it tastes like

1:09:38

it's a pot AI whiskey If you have a

1:09:40

book late when you would have when you offering

1:09:42

me one on holiday because I've got all these

1:09:44

pina coladas Every

1:09:47

minute I've got no interest in the rest

1:09:49

of this game because it's it's it's so

1:09:53

So ruined I think it might be God see you know

1:09:56

Mate for me. It's my favorite on the list. I'm going.

1:09:59

Oh, it's show Get fucked. It's shy.

1:10:01

It's got her going shy. A shy.

1:10:04

Sorry Finn, it's shy. Ah boo. Right,

1:10:06

last one. Jin and Tonic.

1:10:09

Dead good. It's just for women.

1:10:12

It's not just for women. It's not just for

1:10:14

women. But first of all, that's sexist. Sexy. And

1:10:16

it's homophobic. So this is, do you know what

1:10:18

we were talking about? I'm transphobic. Do you

1:10:20

know what we were talking about? Moods. And it's landaphobic. But

1:10:23

all of them, I'm a phobic level. So we talked

1:10:25

about what mood it puts you in. Yeah. I've had

1:10:27

to stop drinking, Jin, because I tried fighting my mate

1:10:29

a couple of times. You sure you went to spin

1:10:31

a club? Really? Because I blame Brandy for that. I

1:10:33

think it was just me. Well, I've never done it

1:10:35

on any other booze. That was the only

1:10:37

one. I've never done it on anything but Brandy. But... It

1:10:41

was worse as well. Yeah, mine was bad.

1:10:45

I was 18, 19 and I was bad. I

1:10:47

tried to punch Josh as I did. And

1:10:49

others. Did you just go full Tasmanian

1:10:51

devil and start... I was covered in me on second. He told

1:10:54

me to go home and I called him some... ...inexcusable

1:10:57

because he was Bangar of order. Right,

1:11:01

so Jin and Toni. Can I just say, if it's

1:11:03

rhubarb Jin, I've got a real

1:11:05

penchant for the rhubarb Jin. I really like

1:11:07

it. All of them get lumped in together

1:11:10

and it's all dead good. Hendrix with Toni

1:11:12

and a slice of cucumber is

1:11:14

class. Hendrix was technically a Jin because the botanicals were

1:11:16

made with, by the way. And it's a Jin. It's

1:11:18

called Hendrix Jin. It's got Jim written on the bottle.

1:11:20

Technically. Smell off as the vodka, either. It's a snap.

1:11:22

So it's got vodka in the bottle. That's...

1:11:26

So we're going dead good for Jin, yeah?

1:11:28

Yeah. It's like my second drink on holiday,

1:11:30

but again, nothing to it. Right, here's the

1:11:32

final tier list and I forget what I'm

1:11:34

saying. Final tier list, outplayed by Karl, Finn

1:11:37

and Dan. I think it's Karl. I

1:11:39

think it's... Who can not? I think

1:11:41

it's... I think it's... The Pina Colander!

1:11:44

The Pina Colander! Who are we, shit?

1:11:47

Let's turn him down. He's getting

1:11:49

angry. God's here. Old-fashioned Pina Colander.

1:11:52

Dead good. Mojito, Smirnoff

1:11:54

Ice, Margarita, Guinness... Boo! And

1:11:57

Jin and Tonic. Sound, we've got Madry.

1:12:00

Bacardi Breezer, Pawnstar

1:12:02

Martini, and Roman Coke,

1:12:04

Tequila Soda. Mehr,

1:12:07

we've got Vodka Mixer and Cider, and then

1:12:09

Shite, we've got a Steamboat. Let us know

1:12:11

what you think about it. I

1:12:13

think that's bang on. So we're the finest.

1:12:16

You're the fucking idiot, aren't you? It's absolutely,

1:12:18

objectively, all over the fucking shop. Oh

1:12:22

my God. I think this is the

1:12:24

first time the three of us have got our way. The

1:12:26

company's four years old. Come

1:12:29

on. Where you going for a pina colada?

1:12:32

The weather's nice. Oh, Adam's gone.

1:12:35

Well, let's have a break. That was fun, wasn't it? Chris

1:12:38

Kent is here, ladies and gentlemen.

1:12:40

Long overdue appearance on the sofa.

1:12:42

How are you? Chris, thanks for

1:12:44

having me. Got a question for you.

1:12:46

Go on. It's actually for everyone. Basically, just something

1:12:49

I want to talk about so I'm gonna direct it at you,

1:12:51

because you just got here. Okay. I had

1:12:53

14 hours of sleep last night, and I don't remember everything. Fuck.

1:12:58

Jet lag. I've been in New York. Okay.

1:13:00

But I'm exhausted right

1:13:02

now. Why? What's going on? Too

1:13:05

much sleep. Yeah, can

1:13:07

you oversleep? Takes

1:13:09

a while to get over the jet lag life, doesn't it? Jet

1:13:12

lag, yeah. Does it? The worst part was-

1:13:14

You're just sleeping off. It's booked your clock, what when you're over

1:13:16

it's booked. Yeah. The worst part, I

1:13:18

went to Australia to the festival. Two kids. So

1:13:21

my boy was only about- Big festival, I'm not kidding.

1:13:23

Three at the time. And she was,

1:13:25

my little girl was six months old, so

1:13:28

I was dreading the flights, Australia, 28 hours, whatever. Flight

1:13:31

was a dream, but what I didn't take into

1:13:33

account was the kids then getting jet lag. So

1:13:35

you're jet lag now, and you get over

1:13:37

it, and if you had two kids, they would

1:13:39

also be jet lagged, waking up at four in the morning.

1:13:42

Play time, we're up, this is our body

1:13:44

clock. So that was

1:13:46

absolutely insane. Kids do that anyway.

1:13:48

I know, yeah. But fours-

1:13:50

But it was worse. But fours like adoption time,

1:13:52

isn't it? Yeah, yeah. It

1:13:55

was even earlier some days, and I was just like, yeah, this

1:13:57

is my work, this is me. What are we doing? I'm all ready at

1:13:59

the time. My little girl was only about six

1:14:01

months and my boy was three. Can

1:14:04

you not just like... Yeah. Once they're

1:14:06

three, did they not listen to reason? No.

1:14:08

You can't bribe them. You can't threaten them. You're

1:14:11

32, Adam. Yeah, but can

1:14:13

you not like talk to a child

1:14:15

and be like, look, you

1:14:17

need to go back to sleep? Because

1:14:20

daddy's tired and jet... Like explain more jet lag. I

1:14:22

can't wait for you to have kids. It's gonna be

1:14:24

so good. It's gonna... Lad, you come on. You're two

1:14:26

and a half. You should be getting

1:14:28

this by now. It's 10am. I'm

1:14:30

not ready to get up. Fucks sake.

1:14:33

Can't they play with each other at that

1:14:35

age though? She was six months or probably

1:14:37

not. No, probably she was just lying down,

1:14:39

drooling and shitting herself. So he was kind

1:14:41

of... But they say like with dogs, don't

1:14:43

they say like ones other than two? Yeah.

1:14:48

Is that not the same with him? They're

1:14:50

good at that age, no. But now they're

1:14:52

like seven and four. Way better. Way

1:14:54

better. Just play with each other. You go

1:14:57

downstairs and turn the telly on and you

1:14:59

know you can get up a bit of a lion at the weekends.

1:15:01

Yeah, we're just getting in that zone. Even

1:15:04

though I'm a parent, if I got on

1:15:06

a flight to Australia and you turned up

1:15:08

with full family and sat anywhere

1:15:10

near us, I'd be like, for fuck's sake. The

1:15:12

flight was unreal. They didn't make a peep the

1:15:14

whole way. What? They were unbelievable. Wow.

1:15:18

Yeah, just watched my little boy, he watched Home Alone

1:15:20

about 70 times. And

1:15:22

my little girl didn't even wake up. She was in a

1:15:24

little bassinetting. She was asleep the whole time. Oh

1:15:27

my God. When on our flight

1:15:30

to New York. They've just come back

1:15:32

from New York. Lovely. On

1:15:34

our flight to New York. Here's

1:15:37

the thing. I feel bad for noticing

1:15:40

this kind of thing. But you do notice it.

1:15:42

There was an army of Jewish children. A

1:15:44

lot of... An army. It

1:15:46

was one family and there was maybe 18 children.

1:15:49

There was one mother, one father. Traditional.

1:15:51

And then genuinely, genuinely like

1:15:53

11 kids. Wow.

1:15:56

All aged between like zero and 11.

1:15:58

Back to back. This woman's

1:16:02

every summer holiday, stick it in, leave it

1:16:04

in. Wow. The woman had a pussy like

1:16:06

I call a juicy spawn. Mmm. Like just

1:16:08

like just constantly is a new, like genuinely

1:16:10

I couldn't believe. And I was like, like

1:16:12

when we were getting on we were like,

1:16:14

that's such a big family. Like that's cool, isn't it?

1:16:16

Like how many there is? And then they were sat

1:16:19

right next to us. And it is

1:16:21

just physically impossible for two people to

1:16:23

control 11 children at once. Yeah, you're

1:16:25

outnumbered. Oh my god. You're done. You're

1:16:27

strongly on Alex. They

1:16:30

had fucking... What formation were they in? They

1:16:32

somehow had balloon animals on the plane. Is

1:16:35

that allowed? A balloon allowed on

1:16:37

plane? It depends what you're gonna do with a balloon animal.

1:16:40

It's just who has a balloon animal on the plane?

1:16:42

Yeah. Their family's so big they've hired a clown to

1:16:44

entertain them on the plane. No, they were just making

1:16:47

their own balloon animals. Sorry. They're seven year olds making

1:16:49

their own balloon animals. Didn't you understand what I'm saying?

1:16:51

This kid had an empty balloon and then two minutes

1:16:54

later the dog was there. Yeah. A balloon dog. What

1:16:58

kind of flight is this? How

1:17:00

wealthy are they? They're going,

1:17:02

do you know what we should do with the 11 kids? We

1:17:05

should take them to England. No, I think they were going home. They

1:17:07

were from Manchester to New

1:17:09

York. Right. Okay. Yeah, but they had

1:17:11

been here. And I say they were Jewish children.

1:17:13

I don't mean like I over-aid they were Jewish

1:17:15

like from a mile away. They had

1:17:17

the hats on. Okay. They had the

1:17:20

hats and the... Yeah, but they've still been

1:17:22

here. So that's even harder, isn't

1:17:24

it? Having 11 kids that can lose them little hats.

1:17:27

That is like a nightmare really. My kids

1:17:29

are always losing stuff. The amount of hats

1:17:31

I've lost, I can't even kind

1:17:33

of play this. Yeah, but it doesn't anger God. Well,

1:17:35

it's safe alone. Exactly. Yeah, it just gets in a bit

1:17:37

of thumber. That's what I'm saying, Mike, you know? I

1:17:39

actually watched two films on the flight, all

1:17:41

intentionally as well. Genuinely,

1:17:43

you would download it on my iPod. Genuinely,

1:17:46

I watched it. I literally at one point went to

1:17:48

one of you watching and he showed me. And I

1:17:50

was like, you can't have that on. It was by

1:17:52

accident. He had the glorious bastards on. And I watched

1:17:54

Snatch. Who had... Great. Who

1:17:57

were the most anti-Semitic films of all time?

1:18:00

I didn't mean it. I had them downloaded on

1:18:02

my iPad. The Simpsons license didn't renew

1:18:04

on me Disney app And

1:18:08

the headphones are poo Mate,

1:18:10

I never do a long-haul fight with my

1:18:12

kids. I'll be absolutely sound Well

1:18:15

too surely like he said

1:18:17

they were firing on to a fine man. Oh,

1:18:19

it's not 11. We wouldn't leave I just fritzel

1:18:21

them. Yeah, I build a basement 11 is

1:18:24

like I can't even more anything more

1:18:26

than us But 11 just

1:18:28

seems we just move very unnecessary It does

1:18:30

seem mad when parents have more than two

1:18:32

kids Cuz why are you like

1:18:35

giving them more like why are you trying to

1:18:37

make it out of yourself? Where there's more you wind in the mop

1:18:41

You wind and do the kids don't want you what you

1:18:43

always in like we didn't get it right the first yeah

1:18:45

I get another one in there. Go away again The only

1:18:47

time it makes sense though is if you've had like four

1:18:50

lads in a row My mom's

1:18:52

like playing for a girl just one a little

1:18:54

daughter and then all of a sudden that doesn't

1:18:56

work out You've got a five-a-side team. Yeah,

1:18:58

but I I honestly think Like

1:19:00

when you get to the point where you've had four of

1:19:03

one gender and you know, I am for the fifth one

1:19:05

You've gotta just think something's going on with your come

1:19:07

where you just do boy come or just do gail comes

1:19:09

in You

1:19:11

wouldn't keep going would you how many would you have to be

1:19:14

where you just go? I've only got my No,

1:19:16

there's 252 names in the Kazakh

1:19:19

language That mean I hope the

1:19:21

next one is a boy girl names.

1:19:23

Wow. It's not really so I

1:19:25

hope the next one is a boy I hope the next one is a boy But

1:19:29

the people are being crit in that That's

1:19:33

a translator, it's just girls all over Kazakh. So

1:19:35

what does your name mean? What do you think

1:19:37

it fucking means? Okay,

1:19:39

I do you think you like you've got a At

1:19:42

some point yeah, totally it's meant to be yeah, I've had

1:19:44

conversations with extras whether like, you know, I want to But

1:19:46

if we had to the same gender, we'd have a third

1:19:48

one just to I'm like Like

1:19:51

just accept what you've got. You can't have a

1:19:53

test baby. It's still a baby You're gonna eat

1:19:55

it. I'm actually gonna hate that third girl If

1:19:57

you've had two girls new time for that boy in the

1:19:59

third one comes out and she's like, daddy! You'll

1:20:01

be like, oh, you're the gobshite, you. Laying

1:20:03

to play for, see what I'm not interested in. Damn,

1:20:06

my girl, come. I

1:20:09

don't get it. Once

1:20:11

you've had two, you've got your team. The

1:20:13

third is, I know you're going,

1:20:15

we're building, this is what I, I had two

1:20:17

sisters, or I had two siblings. You put, it's

1:20:19

gonna be amazing. It's gonna be rough as fuck

1:20:21

for a bit now. It's gonna

1:20:23

be a hard schlep. Any plans to have anymore?

1:20:26

Yeah, I wouldn't say no, you know. My

1:20:29

wife definitely wouldn't say no, so. Oh,

1:20:31

really? I would say so, yeah, more, but not,

1:20:33

one more would be my kind of line, I

1:20:36

think. I'm not having any more than that. You're

1:20:38

not put off by the baby stage, because we're thinking about

1:20:40

getting a little dog, but we're not put off by the

1:20:43

puppy stage. Okay. Yeah.

1:20:46

You know, they're very different as well. First one,

1:20:48

I'm not in about just dogs and kids

1:20:50

now. Kids in

1:20:52

general, like, our first was a dream,

1:20:54

absolute dream. Got started sleeping immediately, and

1:20:57

the second was an absolute nightmare. So,

1:21:00

we're hoping, maybe back to a

1:21:03

good one again, I suppose.

1:21:05

When Alfie had his fourth

1:21:07

child. Alfie loves making babies.

1:21:09

No, he doesn't. Jesse loves making

1:21:11

babies. And Alfie says yes, because she normally offers

1:21:13

them a deal, right? A deal, like

1:21:16

on a deal with that. Well, he

1:21:18

spoke about this on stage, so I hope you won't mind

1:21:20

me mentioning this. He made a deal last

1:21:22

time where, the bit he did where

1:21:24

Jesse was like, it's my maternal instinct to want

1:21:26

more children. And he said, well, it's my instinct

1:21:28

that I want to fuck every woman I meet.

1:21:31

And she said, if you have a fourth baby with

1:21:33

me, but if I get pregnant

1:21:35

before you go to Australia, you can

1:21:37

fuck whoever you want in Australia. So

1:21:39

he made that deal. And

1:21:43

when he had the fourth one, I

1:21:45

said, how are you doing? How are you getting on as a baby? And he

1:21:47

texted me and he said, I want you to remind me. Next

1:21:50

time I tell you I've made a deal with

1:21:52

Jesse, remind me, I love my children, and I

1:21:54

hate my babies. He's like, I

1:21:56

hate having a baby. It's the worst experience

1:21:58

of my entire life. I'm now doing it

1:22:00

somehow for the fourth time. I

1:22:02

love children. Me children once said children

1:22:05

are great, but babies are horrific. But

1:22:07

Jesse Broker's a great deal. She

1:22:10

really is. That is a deal. Season ticket

1:22:12

in the cup. But didn't he

1:22:14

get fucked by COVID? So we didn't get that deal anyway.

1:22:16

Yeah. So he was like, so he

1:22:18

didn't want to be lost daily. He needed a pack. Yeah.

1:22:21

My wife doesn't make those deals. No. I've

1:22:23

never got a deal like that now put on the table. Okay.

1:22:27

What'd you take it? What? Would you

1:22:29

have a third case or fuck whoever you like? No.

1:22:35

My mic's gone weird. My

1:22:37

mic's strange. Yeah.

1:22:40

That's a crazy level of deal. It's not

1:22:43

something that Laura's going to think about. What if

1:22:45

she came seriously and went, I want another baby,

1:22:47

but you can bank. You know what the saddest

1:22:49

thing about that would be? Or what would I

1:22:51

went out, I would literally go out to try

1:22:53

and bang. We'd have a third baby and no

1:22:56

one would fuck me. That would be the, that

1:22:58

would be a beautiful. I'd be in Australia going,

1:23:00

anyone? Come on. That would be

1:23:02

the sad, sad reality of it. Cause obviously you don't want

1:23:04

to say it kid, do you? No, I'm all right. Is

1:23:07

there anything she could offer you where you'd be like,

1:23:09

is there anything you're after that she said no to?

1:23:13

Get rid of one of these other

1:23:15

kids. Yeah. Swap deals. Less kids. Yeah.

1:23:18

You make it as well so Dan. We've nailed it. Girl

1:23:20

boy. Girl boy, we're the same. Been through the baby bit.

1:23:22

Never want to do it again. I will tie a

1:23:24

knot in my own dick. But is the knot, have you

1:23:27

not like seeing a really expensive lamp where she's like, you're

1:23:29

not buying that. A bounty castle, a

1:23:31

rodeo ball. You think I'd fuck my life for three

1:23:33

years for a lamp. Oh,

1:23:35

nice. Is this lamp on? Dan,

1:23:37

you seem tired. You should see my living

1:23:39

room though. Beautifully lit. Beautiful. Is

1:23:41

the knot on, she get off the end. No. Fuck

1:23:44

no. We've got the team. We've

1:23:46

got the team. You get to play for the Saints

1:23:48

for the season. Yeah, she's got the hook up. Oh

1:23:50

great. I'd be disabled by the fucking end of the

1:23:52

first quarter. Are you the kicker? All

1:23:55

right, cool. I'd still end up with a ruptured

1:23:57

spleen. Were you at the barks and all

1:23:59

that? first one

1:24:01

no wasn't there, taught my

1:24:03

way out of being a birthing partner he was in

1:24:05

the playoffs it was

1:24:08

a big season for the Saints yeah open

1:24:11

spot the second

1:24:13

one yeah I was there we

1:24:16

were in the room 36 hour labour the

1:24:18

last 12 hours of that she was on methadone

1:24:23

so super high like

1:24:25

being at an after party with your friend who does too

1:24:27

many grades she had the baby she

1:24:30

just wanted to be a pilot we

1:24:32

had all these notions about we

1:24:35

did hypnobirthing for the first one you know this

1:24:37

wanky kind of I'm not taking

1:24:39

any drugs we're gonna be breathing

1:24:41

your calm and all that my

1:24:44

god no it was like a

1:24:46

delayed sort of c-section as well so the baby

1:24:48

just wasn't coming out which

1:24:50

is your advice they actually don't let

1:24:52

you step on the other side of the curtain anymore not that I

1:24:54

want to but people

1:24:56

that want to they said every single time they

1:24:59

step on that side of the curtain they feckin

1:25:01

feigned every single time they said oh you

1:25:03

want to see that oh no do

1:25:05

you mean baby coming out? yeah just

1:25:07

getting the I wouldn't go down there for a natural bit no

1:25:10

I wouldn't die to her no I had no interest at

1:25:12

all I was struggling to be at the Laura's

1:25:14

end yeah she was again on a little pack of curtains

1:25:17

she was good don't worry about it you

1:25:19

knock out would you knock out? I'm not gonna haggle my way I'm not

1:25:21

gonna have the empathy for your woman and know how much she's going to

1:25:23

but I don't want to see that she

1:25:26

was like you're not allowed on this side of

1:25:28

the fence I was like you're grand I wasn't

1:25:30

trying to bargain my way into the VIP section

1:25:33

of Electropignic like you're fine I'm alright over here

1:25:36

but it was mad it was an absolute

1:25:38

mad experience I had an anaesthesiologist who was

1:25:40

trying to subscribe to the podcast while he

1:25:42

was wow giving my wife the drugs for

1:25:45

the surgery I was really he

1:25:47

was like brilliant yeah he had YouTube up that

1:25:50

is a mental moment that's not where you want

1:25:52

to be nor does you've not

1:25:54

yet you've not been you've not slept

1:25:56

for a day and a half your wife

1:25:58

is high she's about to have major surgery

1:26:00

and he's up on YouTube going this sounds really

1:26:03

good. Do you want a pair of legs from what you wife's pussy?

1:26:08

Who's legs? The babies. I

1:26:10

honestly think you should see that bit.

1:26:13

I might have like a little whoop. Adam's going to try

1:26:15

and deliver the child. You don't know what

1:26:18

you're fucking doing. I

1:26:23

don't want to say that I want to keep the memory of that.

1:26:25

Yeah. The most,

1:26:27

the most graphics and I had seen was the,

1:26:29

um, my, my son was born for the first

1:26:31

time he was huge. So it was like 9

1:26:34

13 touching on 10 pounds. It's

1:26:36

very apparent why he's not coming out the other way,

1:26:38

you know? So we were all like, Oh, amazing. And

1:26:40

then, uh, it was kind of sneaky cause I didn't

1:26:42

intend on looking at anything. Uh, the

1:26:44

midwife was kind of over here. Oh, uh, and she

1:26:46

was like, Oh, uh, look at

1:26:48

the, look at the placenta. It's the

1:26:51

biggest one I've ever seen. And

1:26:54

I looked and I was like, Oh no. Why did

1:26:56

I do that? And I'm just trying to get knees,

1:26:58

not till everything don't look over there. Don't look over

1:27:00

there. I can't not see it now. Um,

1:27:02

it's like the thing to kill Steve Orman. That's all I can say.

1:27:07

And then I couldn't stop looking at it, you know, I was

1:27:09

just like, Oh my God. And then she asked me, did I

1:27:11

want to, do you want to, I was like, no, I don't,

1:27:13

I don't, I don't have an aquarium in my house. Take

1:27:17

it and throw it into the sea. Thank you very much.

1:27:20

Put it back. Yeah. Release it was in a while.

1:27:22

Did you

1:27:25

remember the way it was like a family members in

1:27:27

an accident? Yeah. You don't go

1:27:29

and see them either. You don't demand an open

1:27:31

coffin. Yeah. Just remember that. Oh, it was. Do

1:27:34

you mean if they die in the accident? No,

1:27:36

I mean, say they're like the mangled and you're like,

1:27:39

Oh, you just never see them again to leave them

1:27:41

to suffer for the rest of their life on their own. No, they're

1:27:43

dying. They're about to go. When you like go

1:27:45

to the, don't go and see them. You'd go and see them. Turns

1:27:47

out it was your mom. Yeah. I would. But

1:27:49

I don't want to remember her mom either. That way,

1:27:51

but I want to remember the vagina. I don't. I

1:27:54

really don't think you should think about childbirth in the

1:27:56

way you're thinking about it. I

1:27:58

don't want to remember my dad. I'm not

1:28:00

gonna go down that end like it's you know,

1:28:03

it's a lovely place to be I want to keep it that way

1:28:05

I don't want to bomb the nightclub and then go in and have

1:28:07

a look. I'm so glad I did it You know, I nearly didn't

1:28:09

do it the second time as well. I'm so glad I did it

1:28:11

just for all that How ludicrous it is it is

1:28:14

it is a mental few hours of your life

1:28:16

is and none can prepare you for it Really,

1:28:18

you know I remember even

1:28:20

with that first with my son It was

1:28:23

very complicated birth and I was to leave

1:28:25

the room kind of not long after a

1:28:27

placenta trauma that I endured They

1:28:29

were like oh shit something's going wrong and they don't tell

1:28:31

you they don't want you to freak out like you know

1:28:33

But they're all running around and I heard the anisa to

1:28:35

stem go Oh, we need four negative

1:28:37

four units of one negative yesterday and there was a

1:28:40

big panic and I was getting told get the fuck

1:28:42

out of room daddy needs to leave the room Give

1:28:47

you your baby like, you know get out and I

1:28:49

was like, oh my god. No, my wife is fine

1:28:52

Everything was grand But that that flip

1:28:54

of seeing your kid for the first time

1:28:56

and then being told actually everything has gone

1:28:58

to shit now You know, we need to

1:29:00

cuz there's a cesarean and they were opening up again

1:29:02

and I was like, oh my god They flip like

1:29:04

the only way I could describe that and I spoke

1:29:06

about this before like cuz I was so happy when

1:29:09

we finally Met our kid for the first time and

1:29:11

then it flipped so quickly I kind

1:29:13

of felt like I was halfway down a water slide and

1:29:16

somebody said to me come here There's no water at the end

1:29:18

of this Kind

1:29:20

of just felt like I was having so much fun up to

1:29:22

this point, you know Yeah,

1:29:24

did he slap the baby when it comes out? No,

1:29:26

no, no, they just give it a little dig Things

1:29:30

have changed the ribs. Yeah, baby baby

1:29:32

beats a little combo. Yeah. Hey I

1:29:35

think your daughter just been born when we were gigging on

1:29:37

the circuit together. I think I remember you just had it

1:29:39

Yeah, I think I was at your

1:29:41

son. I was might even my son. It was my When

1:29:45

we were moving back to Ireland You

1:29:47

lived in London for a while and I remember

1:29:49

yeah, absolutely loved it. That's what you just asked

1:29:51

you just adored it. I Couldn't

1:29:54

wait to get back to Ireland like to be quite

1:29:56

honest with you. Yeah, we stayed in that cat in

1:29:58

a in an Airbnb in character Me

1:30:01

and you? Yeah. And we didn't

1:30:03

even stay the second night. That's how bad it was. An unacceptable...

1:30:06

Oh my god. It was like if Finn had gone,

1:30:08

do you know what? I need a bit of extra

1:30:10

cash. I'm just going to put my room on Airbnb

1:30:12

and not tidy it. Not tidy anything up. Because they

1:30:15

didn't have room. Yeah. No, we had a room each.

1:30:17

A guy that gave up their flat and it was

1:30:19

one of those ones where you're like, you know when

1:30:21

Airbnb doesn't work out? Oh, it is. It's just a

1:30:24

disgrace. Like the bedroom I was tidying, like it had

1:30:26

a pile of like clothes that needed to be washed

1:30:28

in the corner. He'd gone, oh shit, I've got Airbnb

1:30:30

customers. And so it just kicked into the corner. It's

1:30:32

like they just left before we arrived. Oh yeah, had

1:30:35

a little lie down. It was fully stocked.

1:30:37

And I'm just there. And it was

1:30:39

terribly stocked as well. It had all the small... We had Gigan

1:30:41

and Cardiff over here. We did the grey, yeah? We did, yeah.

1:30:43

And they just put us in this place. I don't think to

1:30:45

be fair to them they didn't know how bad it would be.

1:30:48

But we didn't even stay the second night, did we?

1:30:50

We were just like, nah, get out of here. Chris,

1:30:53

is your a clothes horse enthusiast? I am a clothes

1:30:55

horse enthusiast. I'm going to heat a black

1:30:57

and decker with a cover as I close. I don't like that. What?

1:31:00

Because it's a whole... You heat it, you plug it into the wall.

1:31:02

Yeah. Ah fuck, fuck, sorry. The whole

1:31:04

point of a clothes horse is to conserve energy, you know

1:31:06

what I mean? And you're plugging it

1:31:08

into the fucking wall. Well, I know, yeah, but

1:31:10

not for the planet. Imagine if you

1:31:12

would keep cup, you'd shove it up a well as all yourself. What

1:31:17

are you... You're just a big fan of them?

1:31:20

Yeah, massive fan, yeah. Are you an environmentalist?

1:31:22

No. Are you just a cheap guy?

1:31:24

I'm a clothes horse. I like it. I call

1:31:26

it a maiden. I think that's what I mean, mum. Yeah,

1:31:29

this is what... This is another thing that's a bit

1:31:31

disrespectful, I think. One

1:31:33

lady, when I was living in London, she didn't like me

1:31:35

putting my clothes horse outside and she called it a garmin's

1:31:38

donkey. So a

1:31:40

garmin's donkey. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:31:42

She was like, you can't keep your garmin' donkey

1:31:44

outside. And that was the kind of vibes I

1:31:46

was getting in London. So I

1:31:48

had to move back, really. She was essentially

1:31:51

telling me I wasn't allowed to use the

1:31:53

sun around this area. What's your favourite clothes

1:31:55

horse? Concertina, three-tier concertina. Thanks,

1:31:58

question. Yeah, late. least favorite

1:32:00

your one oh wow I know but at

1:32:02

least favorite traditional one would be the long-winged

1:32:05

closer you know that I'm too wide too

1:32:07

wide man you think it's a great idea

1:32:09

I'll get loads of clothes on this then

1:32:12

you have one big towel no we're not

1:32:14

talking about the clothes line that goes out

1:32:16

so close to washing line that's

1:32:18

a washing line yeah completely different thing oh what

1:32:23

stupid you stock it with high value items at

1:32:25

the top and under exactly that's the way this

1:32:28

was this was this was also the clothes are

1:32:30

so you probably don't remember because you don't even know what a clothes are says

1:32:32

well then that character sorry I call mine a

1:32:34

t-shirt slack a t-shirt slack which is a

1:32:37

bit disrespectful that one there they had stacked

1:32:39

in the Cardiff apartment they had all the

1:32:41

smalls on the top and all

1:32:43

the bigs on the bottom yeah so we

1:32:45

were obviously in the company of a psychopath

1:32:48

they didn't need like honestly they had smalls

1:32:50

on the top you won't be able to and

1:32:52

then bigs on the bottom but surely sorry

1:32:54

I'm a noob yeah if

1:32:56

you're using it in the sunshine yeah surely you want

1:32:58

smaller stuff at the top so the sun's got more

1:33:01

to come through no I don't think so no I

1:33:03

think it's I would always drive very quick you don't

1:33:05

need to waste good spots upon the other side it's

1:33:07

all about it's all about how much you can get

1:33:09

onto it onto the clothes how much you can load

1:33:11

it up you know reckon

1:33:14

I could fit a rugby team's woman awake it

1:33:16

on one close to use radiators around the house

1:33:18

I do use a radiator chair oh my god

1:33:21

Laura hates that does she to

1:33:28

warm the house apparently Maverick

1:33:30

I also think smell of drying like laundry isn't

1:33:36

a nightmare I like that like

1:33:38

not miles you do shit on one of

1:33:40

your radiators and that'll spread the smell of shite

1:33:42

all over your house yeah yeah and she's like what have you done

1:33:44

here like what you told me let's put clothes Adam

1:33:47

knows women on your own

1:33:50

radio teach them a lesson

1:33:52

they want really you know

1:33:56

so good to learn don't you

1:33:58

worry your little mind Are you

1:34:00

a launderette man, Chris? No, unless

1:34:02

I have to. Unless there's no

1:34:04

other option, like I'm traveling, need to wash my clothes.

1:34:06

I enjoy all that. I wouldn't be into it.

1:34:08

One that you can walk into. Oh yeah? And

1:34:11

use, like there, remember we were in Dubai or something,

1:34:13

there was no real launderettes around. It

1:34:15

was, they were always very expensive,

1:34:17

like 15 fucking pounds to wash our jocks.

1:34:20

You know, there were itemites like that. So I didn't

1:34:22

really like that. I don't get that at home, don't

1:34:24

you? I have a man who collects me washing.

1:34:26

Do you? Yeah. Well that's a

1:34:28

dream, like. I've

1:34:30

got some compromising, I've got some squinty. What?

1:34:34

Folded irons, everything. I don't get them ironed, because that's

1:34:36

an extra pound per item. Is it? And I'm not

1:34:38

doing that. I prefer someone doing my ironing than my

1:34:40

washing though. That's less you iron

1:34:42

the bag. Should you iron to where? To

1:34:44

where? Okay. All the time. So

1:34:47

that would be inconvenient, wouldn't it? I'd have to call him over the whole time.

1:34:49

Yeah. John, got a pound

1:34:51

with your name on it here, mate. I'm

1:34:53

getting a limerick tonight, so you'll have to come over. Take

1:34:56

one of the weekends. There's a wedding. Four

1:34:59

quid for you. Yeah, I've just got to a point in

1:35:01

my life, Chris, where it's just

1:35:03

not worth me time to wash my clothes. Okay,

1:35:05

that's a nice point to be asked. That's great.

1:35:09

I wear a couch that if I, the amount of

1:35:11

washing I accumulate would be in a way on tour.

1:35:13

Yeah. And I, like, if I go away for

1:35:15

like, we've just been to New York for the weekends, right? And

1:35:18

I take two outfits a day.

1:35:20

Yes. So you've got a day one and

1:35:22

a night one, you get sweaty during the day. Yeah, and a reserve. So,

1:35:25

and a reserve. Of course. Of

1:35:27

course. Of course. Yeah. Yeah.

1:35:30

So I've been away for five days. I took like 12 outfits

1:35:32

with me. So I've got 12

1:35:34

things that need 12 full outfits. 12

1:35:36

full outfits. They need washings. Everything. Exactly

1:35:38

covered in cup. Correct. So I

1:35:41

worked out if I did my own washing and

1:35:44

drying, I'm essentially saving about two

1:35:46

pounds, 76 an hour. Give

1:35:48

it a take. And it's, I

1:35:50

don't, if you offered me two

1:35:52

pounds, 76 an hour to come to yours and do all

1:35:54

your washing, tell you to fuck off. So

1:35:57

I thought, why am I doing my washing and I

1:35:59

wouldn't do Chris Kans. Wow. That's

1:36:01

the reason it's like a lot of talk. Before you

1:36:04

were even here. A lot of talk, I meant to

1:36:06

be like. Yeah, it is. I would love someone doing

1:36:08

my washing and my ironing though. It would be amazing.

1:36:10

It's very cheap. We're very

1:36:13

reasonable, Mark. And we mentioned this on a recent episode. I

1:36:15

don't know whether it was a patron or a public. But

1:36:17

someone got in touch with me and was like, if

1:36:20

it's so cheap, why don't you offer the loan to him and

1:36:22

have more money? Oh, right. And I was

1:36:24

like, well, there's the thing. If he puts his prices up, I

1:36:26

will, you know, make a decision accordingly.

1:36:28

Yeah. But I'm not just. I do tip

1:36:30

him. Right. You know, I'm sorry. Hang

1:36:32

on. What you don't want message you going,

1:36:35

hey, if it's so cheap, you should just pay

1:36:37

more. That's not how money works. You don't get

1:36:39

my money. Is it any of these? My money.

1:36:41

I'm going to go. This is ridiculous. Keep that

1:36:43

money. I thought the free money. Oh,

1:36:46

you got to pay more. Fuck off. It's cheap because he likes it

1:36:48

to be cheap. You

1:36:50

like New York. Were you gigging over there or?

1:36:52

No, we didn't do any gigs this time. But

1:36:54

I didn't really want to. I got off at

1:36:57

one spot at 6 p.m., but

1:36:59

we couldn't make it because I had other stuff on. I

1:37:03

didn't really chase any set this time. We

1:37:05

watched Andrew Schultz do

1:37:07

Madison Square Garden. And

1:37:09

then we just had a proper weekend in New York

1:37:11

doing like a proper little trip. I love it over

1:37:14

there. Every time I'm there, I'm

1:37:16

like, why am I going home? Yeah, I want

1:37:18

to live there. And

1:37:21

I just feel like I will at some point.

1:37:23

Living New York. That's really big as well. It's

1:37:25

just class. Poor old Nashville. Been. Well,

1:37:28

no, Nashville. I feel like if I lived

1:37:30

in New York, I think I'd go to

1:37:32

Nashville like every eight weeks. I have a

1:37:34

weekend. Oh, nice. But it's New York.

1:37:37

You know New York, you've been? Oh, I've been.

1:37:39

Yeah, I got engaged. We got engaged in New

1:37:41

York, actually. No, engaged. Clapped a question over there.

1:37:43

How did you pick? I did it.

1:37:45

So I element of surprise. I waited

1:37:47

about 10 years or so. I

1:37:50

waited. I waited for all 15 years. Did

1:37:52

you? Yeah, it was just over a decade, which I

1:37:54

was proud enough about. So

1:37:57

I never around Christmas time, you know. So we actually stayed

1:37:59

all. I got to hotel, I

1:38:01

was going to do it in public, but I kind of bottled it

1:38:03

a little bit. And then I said, let's

1:38:06

do it. The hotel room, I got to hotel room,

1:38:09

sort of got to hotel staff in Valve. Lad

1:38:11

called Z Sean down in the lobby. Lovely

1:38:13

man. He said, I'm heading out

1:38:16

to New York one day and I'm like,

1:38:18

today's the day Z Sean, I'm gonna, you

1:38:20

put some stuff in the room for me? And he's like,

1:38:23

yeah, no problem. Whatever you want. And I was like, well,

1:38:25

I suppose some flowers is a good idea. And

1:38:28

then I was like, chocolate covered strawberries. Just

1:38:30

kind of romantic, isn't it? And some champagne and ice. And

1:38:32

I'm like, make the room look lovely. Give you

1:38:35

some extra money or whatever. And then he's

1:38:37

like, yeah, no problem. That's cool. And she was literally

1:38:39

coming down the lift after me. So it's all kind

1:38:41

of, you're all full of nerves, aren't you? And

1:38:43

I was like, cool. And he said, don't come back

1:38:46

before five. Do not come back before five.

1:38:48

I'll get the room ready for you. But I need that amount

1:38:50

of time. And I'm like, yeah, that's a cool. One quick question,

1:38:52

because I'm really interested in the story, but the detail here I

1:38:54

need to question you about hair coming down in the lift after

1:38:56

you. Did you get hair

1:38:58

down before? No, no, no, no, sorry, babe. Because

1:39:00

she was just taking ages to get ready. And

1:39:04

I said, I'm going to just hang around. I'll just

1:39:06

go down ahead. He'd be like, you know. And

1:39:08

I had been talking to Zeeshawn before this as

1:39:10

well. Can I just say, Zeeshawn in a cork

1:39:12

accent is it? Zeeshawn, I still have the care

1:39:14

he gave me. I still have the care he

1:39:16

gave me. But I'd been just about to sit

1:39:18

in my first conversation with Zeeshawn. I didn't just go

1:39:20

over and demand that he get flowers and chocolates and

1:39:22

all that, right? So then I go,

1:39:24

hey, let's do it. Today

1:39:27

is Zeeshawn. And he's giving me the five

1:39:29

o'clock. And this was about three or so. And

1:39:31

also I was like, oh, cool, no problem.

1:39:34

So I head off. And my wife

1:39:36

never wants to go back. And I'm like, that's not going

1:39:38

to be a problem. So five is

1:39:40

absolutely fine, Zeeshawn. So then I

1:39:42

head off, right? And we're in the air. I

1:39:44

swear to God, we're out about 45 minutes. And

1:39:48

my wife was like, yeah, let's

1:39:50

just go back to the room. And

1:39:52

I'm like, no. And she's

1:39:54

like, why? And

1:39:57

I'm like, I don't know. I didn't even

1:39:59

have an excuse. as to why I didn't want to

1:40:01

go back. And then we're walking back towards the room and I

1:40:03

had to stall her somehow. So, um,

1:40:06

it was around Christmas time and we were like, you know what

1:40:08

I'd love to do now. I said I'd love to

1:40:10

do like the 12 pubs of Christmas. Do

1:40:12

you ever do that? It's a kind of a Dublin tradition where you try

1:40:14

to have a pint and 12 consecutive

1:40:16

pubs. I wouldn't be

1:40:19

able to do anyway. I'm not a massive drinker, but

1:40:21

this it just popped into my head. Let's do that.

1:40:23

12 pina coladas. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 12

1:40:26

pints and she was like, fuck it, let's do it.

1:40:28

But then it kind of worked a little bit too

1:40:30

well because we're about three or four pints in. See,

1:40:32

Sean has the room ready for me. She

1:40:35

has no intention of leaving the pub. I'm

1:40:38

getting very, very, very hammered and I'm going to go,

1:40:40

oh, no, we need to go back now. We need

1:40:42

to go back. She's like, no, we're finishing this fucking

1:40:44

12 pubs. And I'm like, I won't

1:40:46

see the end of 12 pubs, you know. So I'm

1:40:49

genuinely hammered and I eventually convinced her about

1:40:51

four or five pubs in. I'm

1:40:54

like, let's just please go back to the room. I

1:40:56

need to go back quickly and we'll come back out

1:40:58

again. She's like, OK. And then on the way back

1:41:00

to the room, she goes through Times Square and she's

1:41:02

like, let's go in here. It was like, you know,

1:41:04

the M&M store. Yeah, I

1:41:07

wouldn't be a fan of the M&M store

1:41:09

now. Like, you know, it's a building full of

1:41:11

fucking M&Ms. It doesn't need

1:41:13

four floors to get in. And it's a bigger queue to

1:41:16

get out. That's how shitty M&M stores. And

1:41:18

I'm in the M&M store and I'm like, I'm never getting

1:41:20

back. I've waited 10 years to make this proposal and it's

1:41:22

not going to happen. Like I'm like,

1:41:24

she's stealing M&Ms as well. And in

1:41:28

my imagination, it's gone. The room is

1:41:30

gone because it's way past five o'clock.

1:41:32

I'm like, it's fucked now. Zeeshawn said

1:41:34

five. The fucking flowers are probably dead.

1:41:37

Covered strawberries have probably melted all over my bed. They're

1:41:39

making it look like someone just broken and took a big

1:41:41

shit in my bed. And, you know,

1:41:43

champagne, ice is after melting and flooding the

1:41:46

bathroom. And Zeeshawn is probably floating face down,

1:41:48

popping around our fucking en suite. But

1:41:50

I'm still looking at her then. And I'm like, you know,

1:41:52

can we go back to the hotel room, please? And

1:41:56

we got back. We got back for about seven and Zeeshawn did

1:41:58