0:00

Okay, reign of this one fired me

0:02

up. A girl sending my boyfriend self

0:04

use of her in a bikini asking

0:06

should I post this on instagram. Guy

0:24

that another episode. Of Girl

0:26

gotta be coming to you from

0:28

our reopened a studio second week

0:31

or so. happy or here or

0:33

is is all we. This

0:36

is where people tune in. As.

0:38

Organizers leaving Okay. As

0:40

or we bought you a bad come on. Here

0:43

we go to sit between and.

0:48

Giving. Us. everything. For

0:51

yoga session guy at it as all invented our

0:53

dollar really threaten Now look at that thing is

0:55

like i know you want me up on and

0:57

on my don't I know I know he's really

0:59

trying so I didn't I have this guy water

1:02

bottle this the ever resolve other Stanley I'm about

1:04

that swell life I have been so they just

1:06

put these ah this is kind of their and

1:08

sort of the Stanley and I love it so

1:10

much more. Rain I had it said on my

1:12

cat you know those big couch arms and my

1:14

on my couch which are great and they're flat

1:17

and I can put like a mug on there

1:19

are so easily or my laptop or whatever. I

1:21

put this on there and thought it was.

1:24

I had the top open of the drinking

1:26

out of it. Watching a movie other night

1:28

it was full. Forty ounces. it spilled on

1:30

me and all over my couch. Why you

1:33

put it there? I thought it would it

1:35

take. I put mugs and drinks on the

1:37

educational the time. It's like fall flat surface

1:39

but this is like a little round hundred

1:42

gallon of water and yet forty out the

1:44

way that I'm going to. Have

1:48

gone. I was out of our sparkling

1:50

ice discovery. I. Don't I will run face

1:52

time. So he watched it happen. A Real ties

1:54

So lucky I was. You have to Do you

1:56

know you get like a hit with water? You

1:58

don't know that to happen like. The

2:00

other time I can compare this to

2:02

with I was on a plane, laid

2:04

back watching a movie while I was

2:06

watching movies and I didn't notice that

2:08

flight attendant. She tripped so forcefully spilled

2:10

the guy next to me entire ginger

2:12

ale on my body. Mid

2:15

flight three hours and I have to go

2:18

watch the movie. just says he dallas on

2:20

league would you're not ready and you get

2:22

hit with liquid as just do know I

2:24

kiss prom i can solve and it's is

2:26

of would you do about. A foot surplus

2:29

I just. Thought I my

2:31

as they up I saw the other side

2:33

except for twenty four hours to drive to

2:35

Israel Lucky when you got to see that

2:37

would Isis coach avoid I tell you there

2:40

is a puddle and that corporate office in

2:42

tears in here just like of soaked I

2:44

end up not reports I thought that Europe

2:46

is classified as such the fireplace going i

2:48

just cozy night as the same sort of

2:51

my kids didn't change he would like as

2:53

the run states that we. Are

2:56

you laughing but like upset?

2:58

The a difference. A Simon I'm

3:01

changing. He likes your foot else. Does

3:04

not really as well as an hour isn't sit

3:06

ups of so be or what was the right

3:08

now. I was like not now this

3:11

isn't as a Yale poor is all. That's

3:13

where he's like scroll up he just did.

3:15

This is selling might serve you right. My

3:17

motto Monday that you do our you set

3:19

us up Anyway here we are here. We

3:21

are recycled Our partners that are not water

3:23

bottles. Okay big shoutout. The Helix sleep ticked

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to get $30 off your first

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limited time only. I

4:08

have that shirt. I have that exact shirt. I got it

4:10

in a medium. It's so soft. It's the softness. I got

4:12

it in a medium. I

4:15

love Josh. But I actually

4:17

wear a crazy one today. I'm wearing a... I'm

4:19

wearing a... I'll talk about it later. I'll talk

4:21

about bras later. We are here in the studio.

4:23

We have Anna with us here from New York.

4:25

Our editor and Tessa and Azul allegedly may or

4:28

may not be in the frame as we speak

4:30

and we're just here full house today. I

4:32

know. I feel so emotional about it. It's been a really

4:34

good couple weeks. We just... We

4:37

released a tour last week. Yeah. And

4:39

you guys just... I feel very emotional seeing all

4:42

the stories about everybody buying tickets. I

4:44

know. Into the new markets. Yeah. So you guys can

4:46

get tickets now to our No Crumbs tour,

4:48

which is going to be this fall and

4:50

winter. And all the dates are available now

4:53

for tickets and we have new cities that

4:55

we've never been to before, like Portland, Maine

4:57

and Las Vegas and Madison, Wisconsin. And we're

5:00

just so excited to see you guys. So thank you for getting

5:02

those tickets, girls.eat.com. Yay. I'm

5:05

just... I'm excited. It's a good... It's a good

5:07

week. Actually, right now, today, we just

5:10

got back from Hawaii. So we'll talk about it next

5:12

week. Oh, as we... Yeah, we haven't gotten yet, but

5:14

as we record, we will just gotten back from Hawaii

5:16

our first time. Yeah, we've never been. So I'm really,

5:18

really excited. April just has a lot of good stuff

5:20

coming up for us. I'll let you guys know. I

5:22

wanted to talk about something that I thought

5:24

was so crazy. So I got

5:28

to get my laser hair removal last week.

5:30

And the girl, she's asking me a lot of

5:35

questions and it's okay. I'm happy to chat.

5:37

But it was a lot to the point

5:40

where I started to feel like maybe she

5:42

knew the podcast and wanted to

5:44

hear about my life from me and maybe went

5:46

to fact check or something. Like every episode. So

5:48

how to meet your boyfriend. Like a personal episode.

5:51

Yes. She wanted her own personal episode. She wanted

5:53

her own Patreon. So she's asking all these questions.

5:55

And again, like I'm happy to chat with

5:57

people that are doing... Where are you going?

6:00

Exactly. So she's asking a lot of questions. It

6:02

was starting to feel not as invasive as the

6:04

treatment itself when they're pulling your pussy lips to

6:06

the side to laser them. But it was like...

6:08

It's chatty for what's happening. For what's happening, yeah.

6:10

And I told her about the sex book company

6:12

and then I told her I had a podcast

6:14

and she goes, so what's the name of the

6:16

podcast? And she's mid-laser in my pussy. And I

6:18

said, girl, I've got to eat. She goes, wait.

6:22

She goes, this other girl

6:25

yesterday has that podcast, I think. And I

6:27

go, oh my God. And then I have

6:29

memory unlocked that you were going the day before. We

6:32

tried to go the same day, but we couldn't get

6:34

the same appointment. So because we were going to carpool

6:36

since now we have to go to West Hollywood and

6:38

we live near each other now. And so I was

6:40

like, oh my God. Yes. Rayna wasn't here yesterday. So

6:42

the fact that this woman saw both of our pussies

6:44

in two days. Okay. I

6:46

want to know what was going on in her mind.

6:48

Or she's like, I just like the mental gymnastics of

6:50

like, what is she even saying? Somebody yesterday told me

6:52

they owned that she's probably like, am I having a

6:55

stroke? Am I good? Yeah. Like she, when she asked

6:57

me about, when she was in my vagina asking me

6:59

the same question, she's so chatty. I mean,

7:01

so many questions, but she's like spreading my

7:03

labia open. Oh, this is a lot. I

7:06

didn't say like, I co-hosted

7:08

with somebody. I don't think I offered that information. I just

7:10

like wanted to zoom right past it. She's like, what's it

7:12

about? I told her and like, then we were done down

7:14

there. And I was just, I didn't, I don't think I

7:17

told her I co-hosted with somebody. So she probably was like,

7:19

what are you saying? You own that podcast. My frame of

7:21

mind was when I said girls got to eat, then she

7:23

was going to fess up. And then she was going to

7:25

be like, okay. Because she goes, and I'm like, here we

7:28

go. She's going to admit that she's known who I am

7:30

this whole time. But she couldn't

7:32

say it. Like, I don't know, HIPAA or whatever. And

7:34

so and

7:37

then for her to go, wait, this other

7:40

girl. And then I remembered I left so

7:42

hard. And I went to lunch with Andrew,

7:44

Colin and Brenna afterwards. And I was like,

7:46

you think she's a fan now? He was

7:48

like, she's either a fan now or she's

7:50

not. She saw y'all. She made a decision

7:53

no matter what. That is

7:55

so funny. Can you imagine to start listening and

7:57

you're like, I've seen both of their inside of

7:59

their place. That's how you start your

8:01

girl's journey is knowing what my butthole looks like

8:03

So I think about this all the time when

8:05

I get lasered like wow anything like going on

8:07

down there if you listen to the podcast If

8:09

you are the biggest lifelong fan you've come to

8:12

every single show. Thank you, but I don't want

8:14

to know I want to live in this land

8:16

that you have been inside of my pussy my

8:18

butthole I'm laying on the side lifting a

8:20

butt cheek up so you can laser it I need to

8:22

live in a land that you have no idea who I

8:24

am right yes Cuz you lay on your side and you

8:26

lift your butt cheek But it used to be happy baby

8:28

when I would get waxes And it was always my fear

8:31

that we would do the whole procedure and they would be

8:33

walking out of the room and be like By the way,

8:35

I'm a huge fan Then

8:40

you just go tell all their friends like did they

8:42

go to dinner after where I could have drinks in

8:45

a grover I was like I saw rain on Ashley's

8:47

butthole. No, but it's funny. I don't think that's how

8:49

clean her butthole is uh-uh It's not where you just

8:51

saw that's a huge fear of mine. It's on reddit

8:54

Your bottle is dirty like what if you like

8:56

follow that toilet paper in there and she told

8:58

that to you problems You're always

9:00

talking about that no She

9:04

starts to be a podcast fan and then her friends are like

9:06

so how do you hear about this? She's

9:08

like well, you'll never believe this, but I saw

9:11

those two days in a row and I started

9:13

to listen Funny story

9:15

you'll never believe it. I Think

9:19

that girl heard you say girls gotta eat and she was

9:21

like I have been in this small room with no

9:23

windows For too long. Well, I'm hearing things

9:26

But then and then on top of this sex

9:28

toy company because she goes wait How many people

9:30

have a sex toy company and a podcast like,

9:32

you know, she was just like I'm having a

9:34

full-blown Yeah, I don't know you experience You know,

9:36

it's so funny if she was like, wow your

9:38

pussy's a lot bigger than your hoe Come would

9:40

do you think this shoe and I'll just compare the

9:42

two I'm a lot bigger than you.

9:44

I'm sure I would Do

9:48

you think it's against regulations for her like go out to

9:50

drink some friends and talk about I have no

9:52

idea I mean if I saw celebrities pussy, I

9:54

would never stop talking about it. I would start

9:56

every conversation What if we all of a sudden

9:58

start noticing like a troll? It's like

10:00

big pussy lips on there like all

10:03

of our Instagram It's like dirty bootyhole

10:05

extra girl in that room to two people start

10:07

with you that day one girl's training Listen

10:11

they did ask Raina and I both if we

10:13

would let the trainee do it and I wanted

10:15

to be respectful I didn't think they went about

10:18

it in the best way. I think they put

10:20

me on the spot Yeah, but I said she

10:22

can do my legs, but I'd prefer the non

10:24

trainees Like I don't

10:26

know I learned she did my legs so I go Think

10:32

three times and I was like, oh listen I have

10:34

some thoughts on it, but I like where I'm going

10:36

and like that whatever their process is they do a

10:38

great job Yeah, we love it couldn't be a sir

10:40

in Atlanta sweet peach like a trainee you would get

10:43

free sugar You know I mean like you would know

10:45

going in that you were with yeah

10:47

an undergrad And

10:50

to be fair there's another person standing next to her

10:52

like yeah plugging the things into the machine Like there's

10:54

not much she could do to really hurt me It's

10:57

a really like that setting thing. It's like way

10:59

actually probably way easier than a wax training. Actually

11:01

definitely Oh, yeah, yeah, I let her have a

11:04

out of my underarm Long

11:07

legs a lot of training on these legs. I know

11:09

really long legs I only had three

11:11

sessions, and I feel like I don't really have much hair left

11:14

is that normal They said everybody's different, but

11:16

you do have like finer hair. Yeah, I

11:18

noticed that it took the like inner Like

11:20

yeah a lot like that's more hormonal so

11:22

like inside the lips yeah, you're the lips

11:25

Okay, so like after three sessions. I noticed

11:27

I hardly have any hair on like the

11:29

top and the sides But

11:31

there was still more in that like those inner lips remember

11:33

I was like is it weird if I asked them to

11:35

just get in there more well She just said it's more

11:37

hormonal. There's more hair the hair grows differently there. She gave

11:40

me a different excuse she said On

11:44

this Expose

11:47

hey She told

11:49

me that the hair there is so light that

11:51

the laser can't really get to it and the

11:53

hair up top that I'd probably Like more of

11:55

a dirty blonde than like a more wispy or

11:57

blonde whatever they're doing a great job. Yeah, I don't care

12:00

tell me to get it out of here. That was

12:02

the funniest experience. Okay so I wanted to let you

12:04

guys in on something that we were like just laughing

12:06

about and now you'll notice it. I just want you

12:08

guys to be like in on the joke. So we

12:11

recurated the Instagram feed and every week Ashley like picks

12:13

the clips and she titles them. And

12:15

so there's always like a title on mine and

12:17

a title on Ashley's obviously. And I started to

12:20

feel like there is a real disparity between the

12:22

titles on my Instagram clips

12:24

and the titles on Ashley. There

12:27

was like a few and I was like I love

12:29

this. And I started to pattern and I was like

12:31

this is actually hilarious. So I would like to read

12:33

you an example of what I'm talking about. So anyway

12:35

guys, Reina is in charge of this company too. And

12:37

at any time she can change a title. She approves

12:39

everything too. Listen. They all go through you too. I

12:41

approve stuff but this is what you cowboy. You're in

12:43

charge of this part of stuff. And I was like

12:46

not that it's obvious. I could be like I don't

12:48

like this. Change it. But I think it's funny now.

12:50

Let me read you the titles on Ashley's post. Ring

12:53

drama. Tips for long distance

12:55

relationships. Prom gate. Girlfriend experience.

12:57

First date fails. Boyfriend fit.

12:59

Mocktails. Nail trends. Just like normal sweet

13:01

girl stuff. You're also leaving some out

13:04

to fit your narrative. There's nothing really

13:06

all that salacious on yours. Okay. Mine.

13:09

Littering. Single life. Come

13:11

preferences. Poor things. Shopping

13:13

on drugs. Hot sex. Sexy ways

13:15

to spit. Never looked uglier

13:18

and shot a deer on a date. I

13:20

think those sound very intriguing and spicy. I think

13:22

I sound like I party. Yeah. I sound fun.

13:24

But you're like I get it I'm boring.

13:26

I don't feel like that. Oh no.

13:28

I don't think I'm boring at all. It's just these

13:30

are the clips. And by the way never looked uglier.

13:32

We ran it by you. We had you double

13:35

approve it because I'm like Reina do you want your big face

13:37

and do you want to say never looked uglier. And you were

13:39

like that's hilarious. I thought I looked cute in that photo. That's

13:42

why I thought it was funny. I think this

13:44

is so funny. Mine is just like sex

13:46

and drugs and guns. Not

13:49

the gun. And also it kind of

13:51

doesn't always correlate to who the star of

13:54

the clip is. Exactly. So we alternate. It's

13:56

just ping pong. So yeah. It just happens

13:58

to land on me every day. Masterclass:

14:00

So here's another good one of you lazy

14:03

masturbating. My

14:05

bread. Slow surveys you know you're you're more

14:07

fun these days I'll foreplay. pet peeve that was

14:09

another one of mine is funny because we were

14:11

going to have the citizen touch with they don't

14:14

forget the drugs without drugs one and you laugh

14:16

still has happened Another was fun these days that

14:18

I'm going to I decided becomes on again not

14:20

of the process of my face by when little

14:22

pass an hour of here there is that way

14:24

so that which is normal if you guys on

14:26

i got liposuction along much all i know my

14:29

chan it's it's normal to get a load of

14:31

paralysis and the you know that it's. Like

14:33

to my some forty six months.

14:36

So crazy there's a lucky you say such

14:38

as fighting back. It's like, I'll bet we

14:40

like a lot of us. Let's take a

14:42

really quick break and then I have a.

14:44

Story Been dying to tell you how. Excited! Okay

14:46

I am so excited! Tell you guys

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valid scams and I put this shirt

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like lo and behold Labs instead of theres so

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you can always go on. That

15:01

thirty requirement must be wariness. Yes,

15:03

so everyone knows that sign in a perfectly. Sir can

15:05

be such a challenge. I really agree with that. And.

15:08

It's even harder on a picture like this

15:10

is gonna sit me the way I would.

15:12

never ending Quest length is such a thing

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like state is going to be boxy is

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gonna be never atl invitee and yeah so

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the purposes or does exist and you could

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today you could do have like genes. you

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dumb just naming have club and of ever

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but you know we love their undergarments, their

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select podcast in the survey and select our show

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We call a head to hotels. More

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like, we won't stay here. Yeah, do you

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even have a Helix? I just had friends come

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my Helix from New York. I have my Moonlight

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that's in my guest bedroom now. And they were like, that

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I feel like they both left and they were like, oh my God, I

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delivery process seminary. Suddenly.

18:34

Now. Okay I haven't. the entire

18:36

the story is like a story that like I

18:38

told Fargo eyes and my brother and like that

18:40

they're the eye out for lettered Espirito without like

18:42

a similar story line I've it's a minute. So

18:44

where I moved in Santa Monica others is wonderful

18:46

park across history and I take us all over

18:48

there every morning and I let him off leash.

18:50

Sometimes it's like big enough and is or he

18:52

so altering these look amazing. He doesn't like he's

18:54

on Iran or anything so that some people other

18:56

dogs off leash and the held by to play

18:58

with these dogs. He's having a time of life.

19:00

So this was like last week where in the

19:02

park that many people around and there's this woman

19:04

She has. A sec, big chocolate labs and as

19:06

all of like a big sturdy dogs to play

19:08

with an elite as he relax a bigger dog,

19:10

a little dog he doesn't want to fuck with

19:13

that. a big like really like six dogs of

19:15

the oh yeah so with the dogs us least

19:17

some like they're gonna play so they run into

19:19

each other, they're doing this nest egg and they're

19:21

getting know each other and then.org or runs off

19:23

into kinda like this wooded area that there's a

19:25

sense of where they're like kind of on this

19:27

like trail tart explain but he kind of runs

19:29

off. The owner knows he's looking for food a

19:32

fan. I was like what like he says like

19:34

wild animals gadget you. wouldn't get through this isn't

19:36

like a boat although you feel the whole

19:38

city forces where are we weren't supposed to

19:40

the nice part of a while take it

19:42

apart and i just laugh the way she

19:44

said it was so funny and she goes

19:46

he found food up there once and ever

19:48

since like the way that this dog one

19:50

time found some food and now runs everywhere

19:52

and i'm like what even food is it

19:54

like maybe people picnic and up park a

19:56

mean you know there's but who knows like

19:58

there's as a burst nearby. It's so funny one

20:01

time it happened. He keeps coming back. He keeps coming back

20:03

from where? I was like, I love this. So he's

20:05

back there like a while and she's like starting to

20:07

get annoyed. I don't kind of annoyed because I want

20:10

as little to play with him. Right. And she's like,

20:12

cash, cash, get back here. And she's

20:14

like trying to get him to come out. And she's

20:16

like getting so frustrated at poor Azul is like, where's

20:18

my friend? And he like wants to play. That

20:20

dog emerges from the wooded area, a

20:23

full loaf of bread in his

20:25

mouth. Raina, a full loaf. We're

20:27

going to show the photos full, not just a

20:30

full loaf. I went to the bakery. These

20:32

assets will not disappoint you guys watch YouTube

20:34

because it was and she starts like, she's

20:36

like, that dog's so dumb. And he's like,

20:39

I'm gonna show you bitch. I'm not coming

20:41

back. Where? Big cash find a full loaf

20:43

of bread. I was so in the woods.

20:45

Who is throwing it back there? Like the

20:48

hunger games. So I'm

20:50

like, my jaws

20:52

dropped. Like I'm like, he did that. Dogs

20:55

got to eat. So I showed her

20:57

his boss. She can't, there's nothing funnier than like

20:59

an owner trying to get something out of their

21:01

dog's mouth. Like I just have to stick my

21:03

hand down Dewey's throat and pull a chicken wingbone

21:05

out of his mouth. You know, like in Atlanta,

21:07

there were so many mysteries. Like there's something so

21:09

funny when you're like, drop it, drop it,

21:12

drop it. Like give her to someone, grab their dog's

21:14

mouth and drop it. She's

21:16

like, and he's just, he will not come near

21:18

her. They're doing like a standoff. What kind of

21:20

loaf? So I start laughing. I can't control myself.

21:22

I started to feel that laugh at like everyone's

21:24

smile where you're like, I'm not going to stop.

21:26

Like my, my face started like hurting. I know

21:28

as a stranger, you're like, my body's like bubbling

21:30

up. And so I'm laughing too hard. And I

21:32

go to her. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm just

21:34

like, this is so funny. She goes, it is

21:36

funny, but that bread has raisins in it. And

21:38

so we talked about some. Why does

21:41

he have a cinnamon raisin

21:45

loaf? It

21:47

was the funniest shit. And then he signed

21:49

the most like, no one makes these, no

21:51

one has raisins. It's like the least thing

21:53

that anybody buys. I'll show you a photo.

21:55

The last thing that you'd find in a

21:57

forest. I want you to have the video.

22:01

Anyway Azul and I just had to go home. I mean she

22:03

was not You're not

22:05

ready It's

22:07

like a whole loaf This

22:09

looks fake. This looks photoshopped like this is

22:11

not real Is

22:14

he on the hinges jaw you guys this is so big hard

22:20

Definitely hard and stale like breakfast has been

22:22

in the forest marinating and here she is like

22:24

trying to get him to drop it I mean, it's

22:26

just it was an old lady.

22:28

Yeah, she's probably in her 50s. Maybe like 60s.

22:30

She's trying to get him. This is hysterical So

22:32

anyway, I've just been laughing about it all week

22:35

and as old and get to play with him

22:37

that day Like we just had to go home

22:39

like I was like, I wonder how long it's

22:41

gonna take ended the play name He's not a

22:43

snack. It was over. Also that is so funny.

22:45

She's like one time he had it allegedly and

22:47

he just found it So

22:49

funny what happened to people that they just threw their

22:51

loaf in there. Well, I don't know. Yeah, like who's

22:53

to say I mean People

22:56

picnic in the park a lot there,

22:58

you know, like every Sunday. There's like

23:01

something like a family reunion Someone's like

23:03

that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if you

23:05

brought a cinnamon raisin loaf to the picnic, I'd also throw

23:07

it into the woods I'd be like fuck that loaf. I'll

23:09

fuck with a bagel but a loaf of bread. It was

23:11

a spectacle That made my

23:13

day that is so that's really good. I just like one I mean,

23:16

I don't think the story is that funny unless you see it with

23:18

the photos because you're like, shut up It can't be a loaf of

23:20

bread full of a bread. Yeah, I find out it's

23:22

certified funny. Okay, I Doberman

23:25

tried to kill me this morning. I had different experiences with

23:27

dogs this week But we've been talking about me getting a

23:29

dog again I know because Alyssa our

23:31

friend Alyssa has a dog who was on the

23:33

show and it's like this tiny little pomeranian Pomeranian

23:35

night it's three pounds and I've never seen anything

23:38

like it girls were not stopping at bikini men

23:40

Grown men every five seconds to take pictures of

23:42

his dog. It's shocking and I was like, I

23:44

want that kind of attention Well, you

23:46

got to be careful though because what if they're sending it to their girlfriend?

23:49

So You got it like vet them You know what

23:52

I'm saying? Like Why are you? It is a little

23:54

weird for just like the average man to stop and

23:56

just take a picture. I could be wrong going to

23:58

their girlfriend. I could be wrong every time. My

24:00

see a guy with like a little fluffy dog

24:02

the guides my mind on a goes to that

24:04

his girlfriend's dog that always I'll always for me

24:06

I think that a hundred why would as I

24:08

get Pendlebury.like that various different A unless it's a

24:11

park and two of them a sort of new

24:13

like a fluffy little it's personality don't a nice

24:15

yeah I'm just like lesser reference. ah we're not

24:17

talking and they said hi to me I'd like

24:19

next the you are a wonder about them but

24:21

I really do. I mean I meet people. In.

24:24

A park everyday like I met of really good looking

24:26

guy last week at. I'm just thinking like who knows

24:28

if he was even single or not not like it

24:30

matters to me but I was just a grain of

24:32

gotta get a dog meat meat seventy people He said

24:35

there's so many times I made girlfriends that way. Also

24:37

you lover Alyssa is the person has sold me on

24:39

the most because she's like really not a dog person.

24:41

She never had an adder and our life and neither

24:43

have I. And so I said i have your dog

24:45

around. She's like I don't even wanna doc my home

24:48

and I've never loved anything more than this. She said

24:50

it's a lot of her life they feel awesome or

24:52

and her boyfriend. Say

24:54

I pronounce you said it was she so

24:56

enough yet so in love with Italy. Chased

24:59

her whole life. it's or whole personality and

25:01

I'm here for it every second year of

25:03

I just have one more thing I did

25:05

share rant about some yeah I just don't

25:07

understand that I've realized that people like and

25:09

I hate so much is Marsha. Oh

25:12

yeah, you're not a fan. Why? Don't you

25:14

like Athena? It's like Green Shock? Or

25:16

do people really like this south have

25:18

about Kale. Want. That's

25:21

right. I feel like my entire inside of

25:23

my now the setting sliced open. Actually don't

25:25

disagree with you and I like kale. but

25:27

yes it used to be. Decide on buses

25:29

as like garnish. Yeah, like he just be

25:31

at the Golden Brown Hi Julie intersection on

25:33

here like it used to be. Not and

25:35

the New age. There's a type of kale

25:37

that I'd actually eat a lot. but it's

25:40

like lot as it's up. Alec Hurley Scratchy

25:42

Callum looks a little like this. your. Like

25:44

that we have to really like massage at or it's good

25:46

and like a smoothie or something like that. I do like

25:48

massage at yeah if you but it like a really good

25:50

lakes it's been sauce and it's a massage or that blacks

25:52

are you people like much would be for real. So.

25:55

Bernie Lycett. She comes over here at Abbot

25:57

Kinney to go to Chaucer much as she

25:59

loves. I had this cocktail when I

26:01

was in Boston called a charter much and it was

26:03

like a coconut. It was very. Good with a

26:06

dislike bar called mothership and. Cambridge and I

26:08

loved it but it didn't really taste like

26:10

much so I was a cool. Maybe I

26:12

do like it because I'm over here. Likes:

26:14

who wants this? It's Chawki. It's does never

26:16

good taste. very earthy and muted with dirt.

26:18

The. Green dirt so we want to brush recently

26:20

and I was like much a latte attorney had

26:22

a coffee ethical mix it up. I didn't check

26:24

in with you to see how you like to.

26:27

I thought of that. I hate that blundell it

26:29

off and her negates aimard and she got one

26:31

to other. Hey. I hate This.

26:35

Is like. We do you like this and I think

26:37

she's she's so nice You the yeah, I mean

26:39

that. Why? Do you order it? You know it

26:41

Like a money order that like I've never seen you.

26:44

I thought maybe I was wrong and maybe I do.

26:46

Like ever it's ever been doing, it's one of those

26:48

things like let's kill. Seven. Years of

26:50

friendship. have never heard you weren't mata an I

26:52

do. I was like for her because I thought

26:54

I didn't like it because I was a good

26:56

taste like dirt. it's shocking your mouse yeah it's

26:58

green. I don't need this yell earthy for adults

27:00

seek out. So then I go to Alyssa. Unlike.

27:03

People do this or is there like health

27:05

benefits youths? yeah things like help assets existence

27:07

is like yeah that's not our side. What

27:09

is it is our there's another to my

27:12

think it's trendy, has assessors hop on a

27:14

for okay so okay that's Intercept Finance the

27:16

lines for Charter March I I mean you

27:18

should see it on the we Got to.

27:20

The benefits outweigh the talk dirt taste of

27:22

it. I mean you could say that Most

27:24

saying that I'd say no to take a

27:26

walk. Which are some water? You know

27:28

they do something else nice for your body. hasn't would

27:31

have thought of it. Over the

27:33

thing with enticing when the ambitions

27:35

essential cancer cells. Oh God. I

27:38

owners and once the day and a sense of

27:40

sugar that answer actual cancer something if it for

27:42

cancer that spray I was not okay so I'll

27:44

do my part. anyway

27:47

let's that if you are so much as go off

27:49

just like anything we soon as high as would love

27:51

to reiterate that are we don't care what you did

27:53

is just about isis is our big his voice i

27:55

love eyes you do what you want i just think

27:57

it's it's his turn down a little smarter I'm

28:00

with you on this, I don't care about it. Yeah, I don't seek

28:02

it out, I don't care about it, you order it, I was like,

28:04

look at her go. She's trying something new. She's being

28:06

really LA. But I think Chachamacha has

28:08

made themselves a good lifestyle brand. Like there's a swing

28:11

to sit in, there's all these Instagram areas, you can

28:13

take photos. Like I don't even know if people like

28:15

it or they're just in there to take a photo

28:17

on the wicker swing. Right. Anyway,

28:19

not gonna do it. Just like, yeah, not doing that. But

28:22

then I'm like, wait, is it gonna prevent cancer? Cause now

28:24

I'm all scared about cancer, I watch this movie. Was it

28:26

New York mag or like the cut? Or was it why

28:28

are so many young people getting cancer? They

28:31

just did a whole thing on this.

28:33

This stuff enrages me. I'm like, I

28:35

just think that we're being poisoned in

28:37

America with our processed food and the

28:39

microplastics and environmental factors we're not taking

28:41

care of health care wise. I

28:43

mean, there's so many countries worse off, but

28:45

I get really mad about it. Because if I got

28:47

cancer, I'd be like, I don't

28:49

have any in my family, this is environmental,

28:52

I'm a healthy person. I just

28:54

feel kind of angry. I feel angry at all the young women

28:56

that are getting cancer. And I just think so much of it

28:58

is about us being

29:00

poisoned in America with our food and other

29:03

factors. And I get mad about it. Okay, so anyway,

29:05

I hate matcha and I'm blowing the whistle on it.

29:07

I just, I think it's very funny when these things

29:09

become part of like the cultural zeitgeist. Everybody like takes

29:11

Instagram photos of it and they wait in line to

29:14

get their little like social media pecs. It's like, kale's

29:16

the same. I don't believe you like it. If you

29:18

like green juice. Green

29:22

juice. I feel like I just short circuited. I

29:24

like green juice. No, this is all like a- You

29:26

take it in a lineup. This is too effective. I

29:28

have other stuff. Of what? Like

29:30

rosé? Yeah. It's

29:34

like orange juice, apple juice, tomato juice,

29:36

a disgusting green juice. Oh, no, I

29:38

actually do like that fresh taste of

29:40

a green juice. That is so gross.

29:42

Over a tomato juice. I love a

29:44

tomato juice. Oh my God, it's so

29:47

good. Guys, this just in tastes our

29:49

subjective. That is actually the

29:51

only thing that's ever gotten spilled near me on

29:53

a plane is my tomato juice. I ordered it

29:56

and it got spilled on the person next

29:58

to me. That is so offensive. I would

30:00

be so mad at me. If someone's dusty

30:02

V8. Oh, it's a thing,

30:04

tomato juice on planes? You know about this? Yeah, it's

30:06

like a thing that people's taste buds change up in

30:08

the air and tomato juice is the number one thing ordered

30:10

on a plane and nobody would order it on the

30:12

ground. But it's up in the air, people order it,

30:14

it's a thing. I feel like ginger ale is also like

30:17

that too. Yes, it's a thing. Great plane drink. There

30:20

was an article one time, it says why ginger

30:22

ale is the most elite plane beverage. And

30:24

I read it too. I was like, I was like, why did

30:26

I click on this? I

30:28

know it's clickbait. All it is is basically ginger ale is so

30:30

good. It is so good. I need to do

30:32

it when I'm on the ground, but when I'm up there, I'm like,

30:35

treat yourself. Yeah, and ginger ale is also

30:37

like, I'm very in support of it. For

30:39

nausea. I

30:42

mean, also, a saltine cracker. Also, have

30:45

Moscow mules, that's ginger beer. Okay,

30:47

coming out and supporting ginger ale. Okay,

30:50

well, we have so much

30:52

more to say, but I am just gonna

30:54

tell you guys about Daily Harvest. I have

30:56

my Daily Harvest smoothie. You gave me this

30:58

glass straw, which I've been loving. So I

31:00

had my date and almond smoothie this morning.

31:02

I mean, I've been drinking Daily Harvest since

31:05

you guys have known me, honestly, on this

31:07

podcast. And it really just makes healthy habits

31:09

so easy. And they take the work out

31:11

of keeping healthy habits. So all you have

31:13

to do is just enjoy. So you can

31:15

go to dailyharvest.com/DGE to get $30 off your

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31:19

we love everything that they do. Again, like

31:22

the smoothies. I mean, I just can't imagine my

31:24

life without them. Like you will never come to

31:26

my house and not see a freezer full of

31:28

Daily Harvest smoothies. The mint and cacao, banana almond,

31:30

date and almond, strawberry cashews, strawberry peach, avocado and

31:32

greens. Those are some of my faves. I love

31:34

their bowls. I love their soups. I'm obsessed with

31:36

the smoothies though. I don't know why, but I

31:38

can't make a smoothie. I like their snacks. Yeah,

31:40

it's an art form, a good smoothie. I don't

31:42

know why. I'm just like, I could do it.

31:44

I go to the store, I buy all this

31:46

stuff. It's never the right proportions. I remember this

31:48

one time in Atlanta. I got this

31:50

fancy new blender. The company sent it to me

31:52

and I was supposed to create some content around

31:54

it because I was like an influencer way back and it

31:57

was like a $600 Blendtec blender. or

32:00

whatever and I was so excited to go to the store. I bought all this

32:02

stuff for a smoothie. It tasted like dog shit. I was like, oh my God,

32:04

I feel like 50 bucks. I was just

32:06

like, I can't do, I'm not good at this. Let

32:08

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32:10

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and they make it really, really easy to just

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32:31

dinner, everything. I did that shakshuka bowl that we talk about.

32:33

I did it the other day for lunch and I wanted

32:35

something a little bit more hearty so I just threw an

32:37

egg into it. Yeah, I did it all the time. I

32:40

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32:42

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shipping. dailyharvest.com/GDE. Okay,

33:04

I'm very excited. So we're talking about

33:06

trust and people's character today and I

33:09

wanted to just open. Yeah,

33:11

we wanted to open with this thing that honestly I can't

33:13

stop talking about. Yeah, it's your own personality. It's my own

33:15

personality right now. It's really been living on my mind so

33:17

much and you and I have had such good conversations about

33:20

it and I find it really interesting. So

33:22

the cover of New York Magazine this month,

33:24

it's an article about Andrew Huberman. If you

33:26

don't know who that is, he is a

33:28

world famous neuroscientist. He's been on the show.

33:30

He has a podcast called The Huberman Lab,

33:32

which is one of the biggest podcasts in

33:34

the country and the world. Millions and millions

33:36

of followers and listeners and it's essentially brain

33:38

and body health information. I mean, for me,

33:40

his episode about drinking what alcohol does to the

33:42

brain was amazing. So

33:44

this article is called Andrew Huberman's Mechanisms

33:47

of Control, the Private and Public Seductions

33:49

of the World's Biggest Pop Neuroscientist. So

33:51

basically it talks about his personal life

33:53

and it pains him to be a

33:55

huge scumbag, a liar and a narcissist

33:58

and a cheater. And it's... I'd

34:00

say narcissist. Yeah, I mean, I guess they

34:02

said that but I think they did. Yeah, but

34:04

regardless I also want to like hold space for

34:06

the fact that like he is

34:08

not commented on this thus far You don't

34:10

know what's true. You don't know if context was removed

34:12

from interviews Ashley and I

34:15

always Want to believe women and things that they

34:17

say but essentially they interviewed a lot of his

34:19

exes and one in particular throughout the story that

34:21

basically said that he cheated on her with all

34:23

these women and That they had

34:25

all connected and shared timelines and stories and that

34:27

he was Moving in this one one day

34:30

and sleeping with the other the same day and one was

34:32

out of town He played the other one in while she

34:34

was in town. He's got to with another woman He was

34:36

leading all these women to believe he was in serious relationships

34:38

with them Only someone that healthy could

34:40

have that kind of in the comments her time

34:42

and Comments are like

34:45

teach me how to do this. It's disgusting

34:47

Obviously if anyone who does anything like that is

34:49

just like that person. Yeah, you know what

34:51

I'm saying? Like if this were all true Yeah

34:53

We don't know if this is true and

34:55

context can certainly be removed people written articles about

34:57

us and I've been like that's not What

34:59

I know like I don't even like saying like

35:02

if this is true like to me I'm

35:04

like this was fact-checked and there is multiple sources

35:06

I just I guess we're always leaving space

35:08

for something else or improve. This is not the

35:10

case exactly Yeah, so just to be super

35:12

clear, you know, we didn't live that experience You

35:14

know, I mean like we weren't in it and

35:17

so we just have the one side of

35:19

it, but there's two sides every story

35:21

I think New York magazine is a highly reputable

35:23

media outlet And I don't think they'd run somebody

35:26

on the cover if this wasn't highly fact-checked, but

35:28

crazier things have happened Yeah, so you and I've

35:30

just been talking a lot about does

35:32

it matter? Somebody's like professional versus their

35:34

personal life and would you take advice

35:37

professional advice about your brain and body

35:39

health from somebody who is Arguably

35:41

pretty duplicitous and treats the people that

35:43

he presumes to love like

35:46

this Does it matter

35:48

now relationship coach and he does

35:50

not speak about his personal life I've never heard him talk about

35:52

it even on our show He maybe mentioned he had a sister

35:54

and that was as deep as he goes. Yeah personal

35:56

life Yeah, and I'm sure you guys might be

35:58

thinking like what was your? experience with him

36:00

off the record. And

36:02

he was just very professional. He's

36:05

really like a rigid type

36:07

of person. I wouldn't say he's warm,

36:10

but he doesn't claim to like, you can tell by

36:12

his videos and stuff. This is, you know what I

36:14

mean? Like he was to us who you see, even

36:17

like he was on Andrew Schultz's podcast, they posted the

36:19

clip, they were like, we got him to laugh a

36:21

little bit. You know what I mean? Like, seriously is.

36:23

So our experience with him was exactly what you would

36:25

expect. Yeah. Professional though, on time, there's a topic, it

36:27

was a lot of his time. But yeah, I don't

36:30

have anything else to say about that. Right. I have

36:32

just beat this to death because we find it a

36:34

we have a personal connection to it, but we find

36:36

it very fascinating on so many different levels. But there

36:38

is certainly plenty of opinions online of

36:40

like, this doesn't matter. Like, why

36:42

does this affect the information

36:45

he disseminates his education? You know, you said

36:47

something like people are saying he's done a

36:49

lot more good for the world and bad.

36:51

But to me, though, I feel

36:53

as though if this is who he is, as

36:55

a person, it just speaks

36:57

to his integrity. So you have integrity

36:59

or you don't, I don't think that

37:02

they're exclusive of how you are with

37:05

the people in your life and your

37:07

personal and professional career. I think there

37:09

are worlds in which listen, someone's like

37:11

an amazing parent, and they're like a

37:14

shitty boyfriend or a shitty husband or a

37:16

shitty employee or whatever great friends that are

37:18

shitty boyfriends. Yeah. So I want to

37:20

say that, you know, not everything is totally connected

37:23

in your life. But I don't know if you

37:25

were lying day in, day out and manipulating people.

37:27

And again, if this were true, putting these women's

37:29

health at risk by sleeping with them all unprotected,

37:31

which is what the article says, is that someone

37:33

you want to take advice from? Is that someone

37:36

you want to pay to go see, you know,

37:38

he does live events. And I'm kind of talking

37:40

about this, some big picture stuff, you know, like,

37:42

this was pretty much a hit piece, but these

37:44

things happen all the time. And I think

37:46

it makes you consider like, is this someone

37:48

I want to support? You don't throw all

37:51

the information out the window that you've absorbed

37:53

from them and are potentially utilizing in your

37:55

life. But if someone that you know is

37:57

lying to people day in, day out, do

37:59

you believe what they're telling you about

38:01

the supplements you should order. Yeah. I

38:04

totally agree. The quote from the Guardian article

38:06

about this, I've read a lot of comments that people

38:08

have left on his and New York mag, that the

38:10

Guardian wrote an article about this and the quote was,

38:12

you know, this is not about his relationship to women

38:14

in his life and friends in his life, this is

38:16

about his relationship to the truth. And I thought that

38:18

was really profound. I love that. Do

38:21

I want to take advice from somebody, medical or not, that

38:23

this is how they live their lives? No. Could

38:26

I go get it from somebody else? Probably. And I say all

38:28

that having really enjoyed his show. I mean, his episode about

38:30

what alcohol does to the brain was really tremendously

38:32

moving. And it is one of those

38:34

popular podcast episodes just in general in the country.

38:36

Yeah. I listened to him talk

38:39

about water for two fucking hours. And then

38:41

I bought the water pitcher that he recommended and

38:43

he was very clear of like, this isn't a

38:45

sponsor. I just know that this is the

38:47

one that works the best or whatever. Listen,

38:50

he also he's not accused of being a

38:52

physical abuser or these are all women in

38:54

their 30s. Unless they're not under

38:56

age. So when we talk about can you separate the art

38:58

from the artist? That usually is like in a different world

39:00

that we're talking like Woody Allen R. Kelly, stuff like that.

39:03

But I tend to think that there are

39:05

so many people in the world creating good

39:07

art, providing good information. Like, why not take

39:09

it from someone that you want

39:11

to support as a person and has integrity? And I

39:14

just can't stress enough. Like, this isn't like slamming

39:16

Andrew Huberman. It's like talking about it

39:18

in a bigger level. Like, again,

39:21

if everything in this article proves

39:23

to be true, like he's a shitty dude.

39:26

But there's always room for context and for the

39:28

person to share their side of it to whatever,

39:30

you know, to me, it's a larger conversation because

39:33

yeah, it could come out that none

39:35

of these things were true. I don't believe that that's the case.

39:37

I don't think New York Magazine has done some hack job. But

39:40

he could say, okay, we've removed the context from every

39:42

one of these stories. They all knew about each other, blah,

39:44

blah, blah, who knows? But yes, do you want to take

39:46

advice from anybody that chooses to live their life like

39:48

that? And I don't like somebody

39:50

that could weave a web of lies that much. It's

39:52

funny as those comments are like, if you could teach

39:54

this woman teach me how to do it, the comments

39:57

taught me like dying. But like, I just I don't

39:59

need that person. the energy of my life at all. I don't need

40:01

to listen to your show. I'll get that information elsewhere. I

40:03

definitely would not give him my money for a live

40:05

show. I don't need to buy the stuff he recommends.

40:07

I don't need to listen to his show and give

40:10

him money, essentially, it'll be a listenership. You wanna go

40:12

to the top top of

40:14

examples and it's somebody like

40:16

Donald Trump. But you know what I mean? You

40:18

can really look at someone's character. I mean, that's

40:20

an extreme example. But these things

40:23

all do kind of run together in someone's

40:25

life most of the time. If you guys,

40:27

the audience, found out I just kicked puppies

40:30

when I was taking walks. It doesn't

40:32

have any bearing on my ability to give dating

40:34

advice, but you wouldn't listen to his show. Right.

40:36

I would just be like, I'll go find us

40:39

for somebody else. Yeah, so we'll see. I mean,

40:41

Harenne and I got a little bit of insider

40:43

info and the plan is that he's not gonna

40:45

ignore this and not say anything. I think that

40:47

it is being dug into on his side and

40:50

there's some things out there that he hired this

40:52

PR company and there's some tweets and some information

40:54

about it too. But we got a little from another

40:56

source and this isn't the end of the story. This

40:59

isn't over yet. This is over. So

41:01

we obviously found it really interesting and one of

41:03

my takes, and again, big picture, what I think

41:05

is so crazy and I say to you is

41:07

if you, whether you're

41:10

Andrew Huberman or not, whether you're someone

41:12

who is lying, manipulating, cheating, evading taxes,

41:14

doing shady business deals, like I think

41:16

it's so crazy to do those things

41:18

and live that life and have the

41:20

audacity to try to become famous. Like

41:22

I find it so wild and you

41:24

speak on it, you're like, yeah, but

41:26

that's just for these people's characters. It

41:29

emboldens them. I'm like, yeah, I find it so

41:32

crazy because enough people get taken down. We were

41:34

talking about the Chrisleys, for example, and I'm trying

41:36

to think of others. The one housewife and the

41:38

really shady lawyer that

41:40

was taking on people's medical claims. Erica

41:42

Girardi. Yeah, right, did he get in

41:45

trouble? Tom Girardi? Yeah. Did

41:47

he go to jail? So people say that he may be

41:49

faking dementia. That's what it was,

41:51

okay. Immediately, the whole thing was he went

41:53

to a nursing home, but interestingly, they said

41:55

that his condition has not progressed in four

41:57

years, which is unheard of with Alzheimer's.

42:00

So they suggested that he is like, but

42:04

I go back to Trump, I'm like, but

42:06

again, like whatever, he's like so slippery and he's

42:08

just gotten out of so much, but I'm just like, it's

42:10

so crazy to me to know you're doing bad things,

42:12

but I guess if you're truly like a narcissist or

42:14

a megalomaniac, you don't think you're doing bad things,

42:17

but whatever, if you are a person that you

42:19

know you're doing something shady or against the law, or

42:21

you're just really like ruining life after life, and you're

42:23

like, you know what I'm gonna do is be in

42:25

the spotlight. I think it's like, your time will come.

42:27

Don't you think it's so crazy? Like if Andrew Huberman

42:30

was like, you know what I'm gonna do is

42:32

I'm gonna be, I'm gonna have

42:34

six girlfriends, I'm gonna weave a web

42:36

of lies, just stay Professor Stanford, don't

42:38

start a podcast, don't try to be

42:40

famous. Like I think it's the audacity for

42:42

me. The author wrote that she

42:45

said in an impressive feat of logistical jujitsu,

42:47

and then she goes through his whole day

42:49

of like cheating with all these different women.

42:51

It was hysterical, but she wrote it out,

42:53

but do you believe, because again, like half

42:55

of the comments in this article are just

42:57

like, okay, well he's not giving dating

42:59

advice, we cheated on some women. I don't think those women

43:01

would agree, but like if you're not

43:03

a trustworthy person, you're just not trustworthy in any

43:05

aspect of your life. And the only caveat, because

43:07

I said earlier, like we have guy friends that

43:09

we wouldn't date, but I don't think that they're

43:11

like bad people. I also am saying that about

43:13

boys that are 27, not men that are

43:15

50. Yeah, and yeah, right,

43:18

all our guy friends are 27. You

43:21

know 40, right? I think I used to think that.

43:23

Yeah, you know. Also like, we're

43:26

not talking about, again, if it were true,

43:28

we're not talking about cheating once. We're not

43:30

talking about one woman that is coming out

43:32

and saying he cheated on me. It's so

43:34

different. Oh, the spectrum's so, I mean. Yeah.

43:36

Multiple women saying, he led me to believe

43:38

we were in serious relationship. Multiple. Yeah, it's

43:40

crazy. It's like if you read the article,

43:42

you're picturing it like that scene from Always

43:45

Sunny with like the red string, you know,

43:47

like him trying to keep it together. Yeah,

43:49

it's a testament to his health. He really is. What's

43:52

that kind of energy? People are

43:54

asking. What is he just listening? Andrew Huberman,

43:56

he did a podcast episode about this. That's

43:58

his rebuttal. He's like. I'm gonna teach you guys

44:01

how to do it. How to be the number one

44:03

most listened to podcast in the history of the world.

44:05

He was like, I sleep for four hours a night

44:07

with tape on my mouth and then I wake up

44:09

and I stare into the sun and I get in

44:11

my cold plunge and then I text bitch number one.

44:13

He was like, and then I pour some 81

44:15

and I stare into the sun some more. And then I get

44:17

into my infrared sauna and then I text bitch number two. One

44:24

of the funny quotes in here was that they

44:26

compared photos and he sent very similar photos to

44:28

a lot of them but

44:30

it's not the same one. That's funny. He's like, you're

44:33

not gonna get me on that. I took a new one for

44:35

all of them. So

44:37

at the end of the day he can be like, wasn't the same photo.

44:39

Wasn't the same photo. They're like, oh, all right. I guess you

44:41

got me there. He's like, I got you on that one. He's like, you can

44:43

tell by the sunlight. It's in a different place. I

44:46

just burned out my retinas and I had to take a break

44:48

and then the sun had moved. Just for a day.

44:50

I'd love to be inside the brain of

44:52

somebody that can manage doing something like this.

44:55

I only have so much mental capacity and emotional

44:57

capacity to give to somebody and it's for one

44:59

person. My brother says, joking me,

45:02

my wife has so much work. How could I

45:04

ever do it? He means that kindly. He's obsessed

45:06

with her but he's like, that is a full-time

45:09

job having one relationship. I don't have the capacity

45:11

for another person. Totally, totally. Okay,

45:15

you wanna lead us in to the topic?

45:17

I'm done honestly. That's all I wanted to

45:19

tell you. Okay, great. I will start. Okay,

45:21

so here's the thing you guys. We are

45:23

talking today about Friends of the Opposite Sex.

45:26

That just reminds me that I wanted to read an

45:28

email from this gay man

45:30

who wrote in. He was like, I can't even talk about this

45:32

because it's a whole ass mess when it's all the same gender.

45:34

That's why I said to Tessa, I was like, what about when

45:36

it's like a same sex couple and then another friend with two

45:39

men? Yeah, we had a few gay and bisexual people write in

45:41

and we're like, I can't, don't even get me started. So, if

45:43

we're just talking about like, your

45:45

male partner has a female friend or a bunch

45:47

of female friends or you have male friends and

45:50

he's jealous, all these types of things. And we

45:52

crowd-sourced it on Instagram and just the topics that

45:54

you guys wanted to see. And we also had

45:56

seen emails come through that all fell into this

45:59

vein that we were- We're like, okay, we feel

46:01

like this is enough for a topic. But I

46:03

really want to direct anyone who is interested in

46:05

this topic back to our episode from October 18th,

46:07

2020. And it's

46:09

called, Is it Purely Platonic? And it is

46:11

so good. Ashley was being so

46:13

funny, Ashley. She was like, we're so good at this.

46:16

We're so cute and funny. Listening back, like you never

46:18

know. We tackled this

46:20

so well that I listened to

46:22

it in full and I was like, we have

46:24

to do something different because we don't just need

46:26

a refresh because it's perfect. It really covers it

46:28

all. It covers all the bases. Like we just,

46:30

you gotta listen to it. If you are new

46:32

around here and this topic intrigues you, really go

46:34

back and listen to that. Again, it's October, 2020

46:37

and it's great. And it talks so much about

46:39

the different types of situations and if your male

46:42

partner, for example, has that best female friend, like,

46:44

I don't know, we just, we covered it all.

46:46

So we had you guys submit some new questions.

46:48

We got some great emails about this. We'll break

46:50

those down. I made a list of my like

46:52

check in with yourself rules that you can just

46:55

ask yourself to kind of de-escalate a little bit.

46:57

But I mean, I have certainly dealt with this over

47:00

the years. You know, I think that this like, you

47:02

know, can I trust them with their friends? They have

47:04

a sex is a very like one size fits one

47:06

kind of thing. Like I've had people that I don't

47:08

trust that I've dated and know I probably wouldn't trust

47:10

them with those women because of the way that they're

47:12

communicating to those women that they feel about me. And

47:15

I've had other people I've dated

47:17

that are, I've only female friends, my last

47:19

six years boyfriend, only female

47:21

friends spent all this time with them.

47:23

And I just didn't really think anything about

47:25

it. Yeah, not an issue. I mean, yeah,

47:28

again, like we covered this top to bottom

47:30

four years ago and our lives have changed

47:32

a little bit since then. And so yeah,

47:34

I do think your ex had really like

47:36

best female friends. Yeah, well, I mean,

47:38

and there's certain situations I'm more comfortable with than others. I still,

47:41

I was thinking this morning, like him and I were bleeding

47:43

towards breaking up and I knew that he was like really struggling

47:45

and so was I. And he told me that he had like

47:47

gone out to lunch with this female friend of his and he

47:49

was like, I talked to her about it and I got advice

47:51

from her. And I was like, I don't, I

47:53

don't love it. I'm not friends with her.

47:56

I'm glad that you have a support system. And I think that it

47:59

can be really wonderful. for men to have

48:01

female friends because I think that they can

48:03

really help them to open their eyes up

48:05

to their partner and I think it can

48:07

be really beneficial. I didn't really

48:09

know the girl and I wasn't friends with her and

48:11

I didn't really love knowing that you like set up

48:13

a special lunch to talk about breaking up with me.

48:15

Yeah. And I trusted that girl like had the most

48:17

positive intentions and would help him like see all sides

48:19

of it. It's just hiding so comfortable and I almost

48:21

just didn't need to know that kind of. I didn't

48:23

need to know the like the outline of what you

48:26

guys spoke about today. Yeah.

48:28

I know. I mean it's situational. I

48:30

can't imagine a world in which I just didn't

48:32

trust my current partner in every

48:35

situation. I guess if

48:37

it just started to feel so

48:39

excessive that it wasn't before you know I'd

48:41

be a little sus. It's

48:44

just like oh you're with her all the

48:46

time. You're constantly texting, sending memes, talking on

48:48

the phone. I don't know but that's just

48:50

not the case. His his best female friend

48:53

is like the one who originally wanted us

48:55

to get together and she's married to his

48:57

best childhood friend. I'm like that's the dream

48:59

because he has like the best girlfriend perspective

49:02

on things. She's like married to his best

49:04

childhood friend. I'm like this is amazing. And

49:06

she really predates you. Yeah. So like that

49:08

shnando friend. I think that

49:10

people worry that like their partner is

49:13

gonna form a really emotionally intimate

49:15

or sexually intimate. I think

49:17

it's arguable which is worse with somebody that's not

49:19

you and that you like have these conversations with

49:21

somebody outside the relationship and you're like I don't

49:23

love you're sharing these things with somebody that isn't

49:25

me. And I like you said the thing about

49:27

like texting all the time calling all the time.

49:29

I mean the volume does matter like Chelsea and

49:31

Jimmy. I mean Chelsea was just like you're on

49:34

the phone if you guys watch Love is Blind which if you don't you

49:36

can't listen to this podcast. But you know

49:38

Chelsea was like you know that girl talks to

49:40

you all day every day. Calls you all day

49:42

every day and I think that it unfortunately when

49:44

you get into a serious relationship your relationship with

49:46

the people in your life does change a little

49:48

bit sometimes. And I don't think it has to

49:50

always happen with plenty of guy friends we talk

49:52

about all the time. They get silly with us.

49:55

Talk about how we look and our wives know

49:57

about it. Like they're in on it. But I

49:59

do think that for better or for worse,

50:01

there's trade-offs and everything. When you're in a relationship,

50:03

sometimes your relationships with people of the opposite sex

50:05

have to change a little. Yeah, yeah, they do.

50:07

God-pit is whole. Yeah, and this

50:09

whole like no new friends kind of situation, like

50:12

Rayne and I addressed that on the 2020 episode

50:14

as well because I used Francis as an example,

50:16

who was someone that I became friends with when

50:18

he was already with his

50:20

girlfriend, now wife, and we

50:22

became new friends and close, you know what I mean?

50:24

But it was like the way he went about it,

50:27

he invited us for like a social hang. He and

50:29

I weren't like getting dinners together one-on-one, you know, like,

50:31

I don't know. We just, we covered a lot of

50:33

it, but some things came up in our Instagram story,

50:35

and this is kind of something that came up. A

50:37

lot of people said no one-on-one hangs, and

50:41

is it appropriate to hang out one-on-one, guy,

50:43

girl, as friends when one person is in

50:45

a relationship? And listen, you can have whatever

50:47

boundary you want, but I can't endorse that

50:49

statement, you know, like Rob, or if it's

50:51

like Bobby, or we have guy friends that

50:53

we go out with one-on-one if we have

50:56

a partner, if they have a partner, if we both

50:58

have partners, you know? I mean, all the time, but

51:00

it happens. Again, it's like one size fits one. I

51:02

only have a problem with that if I really didn't

51:04

trust my partner's judgment of what they're gonna do on

51:06

the one-on-one hang. I mean, you and I, like Frances

51:08

and Giulio, who are comedians in New York, you know

51:10

who that is, they're good friends of ours, they're one

51:12

of the engaged ones married, you and I go out

51:14

to dinner on double dates, us and them, without

51:17

their partners, and Rob stays with me every

51:19

time he comes to LA. He and I

51:21

are up all night long drinking, by ourselves,

51:23

we get up in the morning, I'm running around,

51:25

copping together, just being all fuck. His

51:27

wife would never blanket that, she just doesn't

51:29

care. Right. But I think that it's because

51:32

your partner makes you feel like you're in

51:34

on it. Yeah, there's ways that it feels,

51:36

and then there's these unwritten rules that

51:39

we all kinda know, deep down. I think it's

51:41

just sometimes you can't even name it, you just

51:43

feel it. If you feel like your

51:45

partner can't have a one-on-one hang with somebody of the

51:47

opposite sex, I would either check in with myself and

51:50

say, like, have I been cheated on in the past?

51:52

Am I carrying these notions into my new relationship? Or

51:54

is this not a trustworthy person? Okay,

51:56

I'm gonna pitch you some more. Okay, bye. Man

52:00

when I text with my guy friends

52:02

or is it only to trust my

52:04

one, it. Or. Give you

52:06

a report of the day. I don't know what's

52:08

going on here. This is one sentence from a

52:11

stranger but if you feel like you're a man

52:13

is expect you to tell him every time you

52:15

text a guy friend. I would say that the

52:17

red flag or that's of that the prom in

52:19

a relationship that success of control like who made

52:21

you feel like that question with some peace asked

52:24

I don't like it. I don't like A for

52:26

her, I like feel for her that's A at

52:28

the who's ever ask. I like without some sort

52:30

of like previous trauma. You know those couples that

52:32

have like extreme like they're both like that nearly

52:34

haven't talked to somebody up. In a bucket.

52:36

Tell me about it of you and

52:39

exists in that toxicity as your business.

52:41

but that's exhausting. We don't own any

52:43

so it would exhaust me to like

52:45

mom verse misbehavior. We settled the time

52:47

like smarter some. his behavior is the

52:49

last thing that's gonna stop them from

52:51

cheating on him as dull just wanna

52:53

watch. Okay this one. How do we

52:55

feel about pet names? Baby Boo Darlene

52:57

Honey. To. A friend. And

53:02

ally Yet I mean wrong if your

53:05

mom's friend. Says

53:08

she's every rule like robberies or is like

53:10

Zahara body and I'll say that's me in

53:12

front of his wife and I from her

53:14

I'm not like it I put like she's

53:16

she's like were also rob like it's funny

53:18

So Esparza lives of you're talking about my

53:20

body unsecured like you would never one of

53:22

those things you know when you see it

53:24

like is your mans friend trying to get

53:26

it you by saying this. Also can you

53:29

imagine a leader He has a name for

53:31

him That's what it is like petty and

53:33

yes even worse than of he is unable

53:35

to imagine if we were like call it

53:37

our guy friends like. Baby Boomer Cancer. I

53:39

have a boyfriend or like us you know

53:41

have. Yeah, that's one of the things you

53:43

get early ship. there's things you sacrifice that

53:45

stance at the names are over right but

53:47

that you see names and someone had a

53:50

really good one in quotes. Is your

53:52

deepest darkest secret? Save

53:54

with. Some. Of

53:56

us and us Assad said Jimmy into

53:58

se. Okay, If one fired

54:01

me up. Okay a girl

54:03

sending my boyfriend southeast of her in

54:05

a bikini asking should I post this

54:07

on Instagram I really hate as a

54:09

so like I'm seeking as a friend

54:11

of guys that are in relationships when

54:13

my guy friends get into relationships ah

54:15

those.is over and like even like I

54:17

have a guy friend who recently got

54:19

into relationships and I literally was only

54:21

trying on the opposite I use it

54:23

has similarly thousand outfits and I went

54:25

to Texas vote on I was like

54:27

if on her I do not like

54:29

fly seat as and such that much

54:31

sense Yes it's. Just weird to.

54:34

Refuse. To adapt your behavior, That's

54:36

what it if you are very that guy

54:38

friend gets the girl for mean like you

54:40

to change completely. I get it, if he's

54:43

dating somebody that is forbidding him to see

54:45

you, that's a whole different story. But if

54:47

none of us going on skis a certain

54:49

date somebody it's really childish to refuse to

54:51

stop setting and bikini. But. If

54:54

that used to be Er Vi but I'm kind of

54:56

thinking like Bobby Korea nice to do some more that

54:58

Southlake we would just be. You know, we felt like

55:00

we're looking guy and we're working on stuff like that,

55:02

you know? But second, he started dating somebody. I would

55:05

die if she's some me send him a

55:07

picture. you know totally as much as you

55:09

met oppose the even worse x the guy

55:11

talking about I had recently met his new

55:13

girlfriend level and liked her. We like a

55:15

fun night out. Felix sort of off his

55:17

friends in her I stated as barile nights

55:19

were hung out. I really liked her and

55:21

like the thought of doing that to her.

55:23

I was like never yeah ok I'm going

55:25

to run through a bunch and or okay

55:27

does it ever not end with him fucking

55:29

a workplace work wife. As a hard know

55:31

men aren't funny and they don't make jokes

55:33

he wants to fockers don't. Come at me with

55:35

the work life. The way I would throw these hands

55:37

so fast work twice as fucking weird prickly energy to

55:39

wear would not. My boyfriend out of he said he

55:41

had. A. Work Life. Littered

55:46

with this is a we did a fire

55:48

people because we wrote work life in the

55:50

instagram story look relaxed work like cetera like

55:52

we weren't like pop off about workloads the

55:55

mobile truck ran with a rotten the first

55:57

will work was usually don't play date you.

56:00

There's like during oral a long time friend I

56:02

mean I guess either what? yeah I guess they're

56:04

just they're not long time friends. Years later new

56:06

or for new are and last couple Uribe Us

56:08

Auto loan who says you find something else to

56:11

call her? I hate Evo and I think I

56:13

said this before but I had an axe and

56:15

he saw the other with that. how much the

56:17

job matters? Like said he had a he bartender

56:19

with this girl. I'm really close because I'm like

56:22

it or they barton together or they presented together.

56:24

I don't know what makes the difference but you

56:26

know to be and like. It's just like are

56:28

they wanted a legal team or. They swing and

56:30

drinks but I think it was it. She had

56:33

a really serious boyfriend who was a smoke like

56:35

a something about it is if they are partnered

56:37

up to like it felt like now we're all

56:39

in this together and like I could your growth

56:42

her boyfriend are you know to me and like

56:44

that's what it as I mean I guess it

56:46

does for the matter is like okay you're bartending

56:48

together. I know that bartending his work I was

56:51

a reference my whole life Easter as a huge

56:53

level of palin around talk and share be an

56:55

inappropriate like all night long as it versus like

56:57

in a really corporate sales environment. You're just not.

57:00

Doing as much select I can see getting a

57:02

little more nervous about somebody who's just like joking

57:04

around. some be on i wandered alcohol. you're out

57:06

late together. you're coming home like your with her.

57:09

I mean listen, my ex fiance ended up. Dating.

57:11

And begin with the girl that he would refer to

57:13

as like his work life. I mean listen that

57:15

is he have to worry about that is I mean

57:18

linked by hunters you the waitress not immediately started puking

57:20

my a we broke up I don't like the term

57:22

my boyfriend would never call someone that he also works

57:24

in an industry for is not. A lot of women

57:26

are brought up on a wanted to make. Try

57:30

to find one but he would ever say that

57:32

he would be like that's crazy Ashley's like i'm

57:34

not gonna say that the her you know like

57:36

I don't not seen if your partner says that.

57:38

Such a red flag either. Like I just think

57:41

people. Really hate this and it's really triggering and

57:43

it's weird for Sata Wayne for who they would

57:45

date next or read a worst case scenario cheat

57:47

on you as an adult. People just really hated

57:49

it. I don't really know to say about it

57:51

besides like I'm to validating at and you know

57:54

when you see it and again we talked about

57:56

this another. Episode as well. Yeah I mean

57:58

I think you can also say like as your girl. Rana your

58:00

wife your sleeves Another, it doesn't communicate to me

58:02

that you respect me very much the you're referring

58:04

to somebody else like that. I don't like it.

58:07

It's uncomfortable to me is like find a different

58:09

way to speak about this person I don't like

58:11

the you communicated this to me like this yeah

58:13

I mean to see want you to talk about

58:16

your work husband what he was all the time

58:18

like of what how they feel in the river

58:20

how would they like that Yeah I mean I

58:22

guess there's a world in which a they pretend

58:25

they don't care but they do or be they're

58:27

just so chill or evolves and they're like i

58:29

don't care. By it's yeah. that's all I gotta

58:31

say. I blogged the one that said men are

58:33

funny. I like she's taught that in that men

58:35

are fun and funny that only jokes about that.

58:37

He was fucker. Of did not

58:39

connect that. He was just like make it a

58:41

dig at mail or point. It's just like that's

58:43

not a joke. He wants the viper Are you

58:45

with the merrier? It doesn't feel good to any

58:47

but no one likes says little retired as and

58:50

twenty twenty four hours or worse for you since

58:52

then. Go for it. We don't care of pseudo.

58:54

You know that number one workplace in. Pop

58:56

Culture Dc Jones, The buses

58:58

through her boyfriend their of. Airbus and look

59:00

at often. Three happened only Camilla

59:03

New. Seen. Help They

59:05

had a specific circumstances. A

59:08

surprise on her. Similar camilla. The.

59:11

Early Kills Beautiful also. But the woman who

59:13

played for all my god, how much on. As a

59:15

nutshell, okay so get some emails yards. I mean West

59:18

and I. It's like my checklist of like am I

59:20

acting crazy and and Like has his field will try

59:22

to cover the slogan i'm awesome Awesome! So I'm asking

59:24

software purposes as friendships are So it is. It's somebody

59:26

I work that they do to talk will work with

59:28

all the time. Our preview? Great. Stuff

59:34

so funny. that whole mindset you're like, are

59:36

they just blowing you great on my clothes

59:38

off from a. Success.

59:44

of your work was. Cooking for you. Great one

59:46

that may have you ever. Lane?

59:50

Really? sure you are quite one that's

59:52

relationship as to be an odd place magazine

59:54

are i did she says fuck the work

59:56

wife over my face maybe you should fucking

59:58

work life That would

1:00:01

be a plot twist. I was a girlfriend in

1:00:03

the workplace, get together. Yeah, there it is. Power

1:00:05

move. Okay,

1:00:10

what purpose does this friendship serve? Is there a reason to not

1:00:12

trust this friendship? Are they talking about how hot they are all

1:00:15

the time? Is this girlfriend just single and

1:00:17

right and mingle with your man? Think about

1:00:19

it. Does this friendship honor our romantic relationship? So

1:00:21

that's kind of what I check in on myself

1:00:23

about. Do you feel welcome and included in the

1:00:25

friendship? Am I part of this? Does this person

1:00:27

know I'm alive? Do you talk about me freely?

1:00:29

Is your partner secretive about their communication with this

1:00:31

person? Which I don't like it. Are they crossing

1:00:33

normative relationship boundaries such as touching? Is

1:00:36

this person touching them? And it comments about

1:00:38

their appearance? Intimate discussions

1:00:40

and demands of your partner's time. So like

1:00:42

I said, I had that situation in my ex and he

1:00:45

was having these conversations about me with this girl. I don't

1:00:47

think he was cheating on me with her. I know he

1:00:49

wasn't, but it's not inappropriate. It felt like an intimate level

1:00:51

that maybe you could have spoken to your sister or a

1:00:53

therapist about. Yeah, I like the demands

1:00:55

the time too. Like I do feel like, you

1:00:58

know, Rob has done so much for me and done so

1:01:00

much for us. But I was respectful

1:01:02

to the fact when he, yes, of

1:01:04

course, started dating his now wife, Alison,

1:01:06

but even his girlfriends before that like,

1:01:08

you know, I might not need to hit

1:01:11

him up all the time. He's got a

1:01:13

partner in his life. Like I can hire

1:01:15

TaskRabbit here and there, you know, but I

1:01:17

also think as someone who has been single

1:01:20

most of my life and, you know, the

1:01:22

duration of this podcast until about a year

1:01:24

ago, like speaking from a single woman standpoint,

1:01:26

like I don't like that sometimes single women get

1:01:28

vilified more than someone who was a partner. Like

1:01:31

I just said, how my ex boyfriend's work wife

1:01:33

had a partner. So I felt less threatened. So

1:01:35

yes, I would have felt more threatened if

1:01:37

she was single. She was beautiful. And

1:01:39

that's not fair either, but it makes sense why

1:01:42

we think that way. So I always felt that

1:01:44

as a single woman, I needed to put in

1:01:46

a little more work with the partner to show

1:01:48

that I wasn't a threat. You know, like I

1:01:51

almost just felt not like I'm a person that's

1:01:53

going to ever like suck up, but it was

1:01:55

always on my mind. Like I'm a single girl

1:01:58

looking for a partner and here I am. friends

1:02:01

or even newer friends with your man, I

1:02:03

get it. And maybe not, maybe they were

1:02:05

like, oh, she's not pretty, she's nothing to

1:02:07

worry about. But I would comment it from

1:02:09

a standpoint of, I just want the girlfriend

1:02:11

or wife or fiance or whatever to extra

1:02:13

know that I'm not a threat. Whatever

1:02:15

that looks like. I think people in relationships

1:02:18

have more to lose, so they're less likely

1:02:20

to cross a boundary with your partner because

1:02:22

that would also affect their own relationship. It's

1:02:24

like single people have a little less to

1:02:26

lose because they might just get your man.

1:02:28

They're not gonna lose their man. Right,

1:02:31

so that's why they're viewed that way sometimes.

1:02:33

She has nothing to lose. And I do

1:02:35

think about that too. Jolene, the Jolene effect.

1:02:37

Jolene. Poor

1:02:40

Jolene. Poor Jolene. Yeah,

1:02:42

I do try to be cognizant of it too. I don't think

1:02:44

any of our friends, wives or girlfriends are threatened by me

1:02:46

again, maybe not pretty enough. But that's the whole thing. They're

1:02:48

like, Ashley and Rana, no one's ever been worried about you

1:02:50

two. You guys are fine. I'm a 10, you're

1:02:52

not. I

1:02:54

think about her two friends that are married.

1:02:56

Bobby, who's married to Barry's

1:02:58

instructor, and Rob, who's married to

1:03:00

a certified supermodel. That is so true. No,

1:03:04

yeah, no, we're all set. Just as you didn't need to do

1:03:06

this episode. Yeah, oh, honestly, take your shirt off and run on.

1:03:08

We don't care. Okay, my

1:03:10

final parameter, would you accept the same parameters?

1:03:13

Right. So like, if it was turned around on you

1:03:15

and it was like, you're not allowed to do any of this, would you accept that

1:03:17

shit? I think a lot of people are

1:03:19

like, yeah, I would. It's like, would you though? Yeah. I

1:03:22

know, that's a fun way to live. It's all fun and games until

1:03:24

you lose all your friends. Oh, thanks. You know,

1:03:27

at the beginning of a relationship, it's all hot and heavy

1:03:29

until you wake up one day and you're like, oh my

1:03:31

God, they have controlled my life in the worst way. Okay,

1:03:34

so we have a few emails that we

1:03:36

wanted to go over. Now this one,

1:03:39

it's a little on the longer side, but we do

1:03:41

have an update. So you guys just stay along for the journey.

1:03:44

I'm so invested in this. You guys all know that Ashley's gonna

1:03:46

read this, not me. Yeah. But I had to email her back

1:03:48

and be like, I was excited. We need the follow up, we

1:03:50

need the tea. Okay, this woman is seeking advice, but she just

1:03:52

wrote us a really nice thing. And I just wanted to read

1:03:54

it, cause I love the backstory, but she said before I get

1:03:57

into this, I wanted to say I found you all in 2021.

1:04:00

I got divorced and was entering the dating world

1:04:02

again after six years of marriage. I had no

1:04:04

confidence because my ex-husband left me after six months

1:04:06

of stating he no longer found me sexually attractive.

1:04:08

We tried therapy but realized he was using me.

1:04:10

I was the breadwinner and paid for his college

1:04:12

education. Jesus. And never really loved me.

1:04:14

That's it a number to me mentally. Along with that, my ex

1:04:16

cheated on me with his professor, so not great. So

1:04:19

keep this in mind and then the way that

1:04:21

she handled the situation going forward. Like, it's really

1:04:23

admirable. Spoiler alert. So fast forward two and a

1:04:25

half years. I've been dating my boyfriend for about

1:04:27

a year now. He is a guy I met

1:04:30

at work who shot his shot. We love it. He's

1:04:32

lovely and sweet and patient. I love those adjectives.

1:04:35

But Friday night he told me he was going to dinner with

1:04:37

a friend of his, a woman who he has known for over

1:04:39

a decade who they did have a past together. I

1:04:42

haven't met her but I trust him. I said, oh my God, have

1:04:44

the best time. I know she means a lot and you haven't seen

1:04:46

her in a while. This woman who has

1:04:48

been like cheated on, left by her husband, has

1:04:50

all the reasons in the world to be triggered

1:04:52

by this. Highly traumatized. And

1:04:55

used that as an excuse and she still was like, go,

1:04:57

you do you. And he had a history with this woman.

1:04:59

I feel so mad. I know. And she's

1:05:02

been so cool. I know. He then told me they

1:05:04

were going to this place called Olivia's in Hoboken. If you think

1:05:06

I didn't Google image this. This is

1:05:08

a low lit romantic restaurant with live jazz

1:05:10

music on a Friday night that makes it

1:05:12

very loud. It's pretty pricey. For perspective, we

1:05:14

went there for Valentine's Day. Yeah. But

1:05:17

we don't go there except for special occasions because he doesn't want

1:05:19

to spend that much for dinner. I'm getting really

1:05:21

mad you guys. While he was at dinner, I took

1:05:23

myself on a date by myself a few blocks away at a bar.

1:05:25

He said they'd meet me for drinks after dinner. So this is cute.

1:05:27

She's like, I want to meet this woman if she's like a big

1:05:29

part of your life and I'm going to go down the street. Nearly

1:05:32

four hours later, my boyfriend showed up at the bar

1:05:34

without the girl saying that she would love to meet

1:05:36

me one on one sometime. So four hours and she

1:05:39

couldn't walk three blocks to meet me. The girl whose

1:05:41

boyfriend every year you just had dinner with. I found

1:05:43

the restaurant choice and the fact that she wouldn't meet

1:05:45

me to be disrespectful. But he said, I promise

1:05:47

you nothing happened, which I'm hoping she just

1:05:49

asked him. He wasn't like, right away. Nothing

1:05:51

happened. Right. It's like, I never said

1:05:53

anything. Lipstick on his collar. Friday night I added her to Instagram

1:05:55

and messaged her that I was sad we didn't get to meet,

1:05:58

but would love to meet her sometime soon and invite her. to

1:06:00

my annual St. Patrick's Day party. It's now Wednesday. She's

1:06:02

yet to respond to my message or accept my friend

1:06:04

request. Mine, you, she works in digital advertising. She should

1:06:06

be on social media. Should I be more concerned that

1:06:08

something may have happened and should I be even more

1:06:10

pissed that she won't accept my olive branch? Seriously,

1:06:13

any advice would help. So I'll just go through them with

1:06:15

the update so we can unpack it all together. So I

1:06:17

just said, like, thanks for writing in. If we discuss this

1:06:19

in the podcast, you know, do you have any updates? And

1:06:21

she was just like, Oh my God, thank you so much.

1:06:23

I'd love for you to talk about the podcast. I love

1:06:25

you guys. She's so cute. Okay. She said, I still haven't

1:06:27

met the friend. It took her nine days to accept my

1:06:29

friend request on Instagram. And she made up the excuse.

1:06:31

She never checks social suspicious since it's her career. I

1:06:33

love that. He is adamant that nothing has

1:06:35

or ever will happen with her. But my gut keeps

1:06:37

saying if she showed him any interest, he would go

1:06:39

with it. I want to trust him, but something is

1:06:41

pulling me to question it still. Also, fun fact. I

1:06:43

just learned that she lives in the same apartment complex

1:06:45

as my boyfriend, which begs the question. Do they

1:06:48

hang out more than I'm aware of? And why haven't we met? If

1:06:50

she lives in the complex, I should have met her by now. I

1:06:52

don't want to end it with him because I have a hard time

1:06:54

trusting and the idea of getting back out in the dating world just

1:06:56

sounds miserable, but I don't know. I want him

1:06:58

to make it a priority to introduce me to her soon. I

1:07:00

feel like looking her in the eyes will solidify what is going

1:07:02

on or not going on. If you talk about this on the

1:07:05

pod, I will die. The GZ communities would help me heal through

1:07:07

my divorce in my simple year before dating again. I owe a

1:07:09

lot of my confidence. I found in myself to the advice given

1:07:11

in your pod. Thank you to her.

1:07:13

That was really sweet. I love her

1:07:15

so much. She's a good

1:07:17

life. I'm emotional about this because she's like

1:07:20

really struggling. He hasn't done anything outright, but

1:07:22

she has this gut feeling and I understand

1:07:24

her being like, if I can just look

1:07:27

her in the eyes, I'll know. We always know. Or if that girl

1:07:29

can just look at

1:07:31

me, she'll know that this is a bad

1:07:34

thing to do. What you're doing. I really

1:07:36

feel for her because this is the

1:07:38

kind of situation, especially when I was younger, that once I couldn't

1:07:41

unring the bell. It would eat at me and

1:07:43

I would keep asking questions. It would become almost

1:07:45

like a self-fulfilling prophecy for me because I'm just

1:07:47

like, wait, now what do you mean you live

1:07:49

in the same building and I just found this

1:07:52

out? That's a really weird

1:07:54

thing to withhold from me. Like you guys live

1:07:56

in the same building. You had to go out to dinner

1:07:58

at this really fancy restaurant. I don't think I think that

1:08:00

all these things strung together equals

1:08:02

a cheater, necessarily. I think that opportunity is

1:08:04

there for sure, but he is sharing it

1:08:07

with you when he told you where he

1:08:09

went to dinner, and he's open about it.

1:08:12

All of these things strung together equal a real

1:08:14

reason to be concerned. She is not overreacting.

1:08:18

When you really run the tape on them

1:08:20

having a history, the restaurant choice, I'm very

1:08:22

bothered by the restaurant choice. I'm super bothered

1:08:24

by it. Really will not let it go.

1:08:27

I'm thinking of where my boyfriend

1:08:30

and I have had romantic dinners. Not

1:08:32

that everywhere is sacred, but the special

1:08:35

place that we did Valentine's dinner, and

1:08:37

we don't go that much because it's

1:08:39

expensive. Why are you going there with anyone

1:08:41

but me? I don't know what the point of this is. It's

1:08:43

New York City. There's 50 other

1:08:46

restaurants on that block. Well, so broken, but yeah. You guys

1:08:48

know what I mean. You know what I mean. There's a

1:08:50

ton of restaurants in Hoboken. There's thousands of restaurants in Hoboken.

1:08:52

It's great. You could also go to New York City. It

1:08:55

feels like, what was the point of that? Why did you

1:08:57

go here? Did she say

1:08:59

she suggested it though? She said it was her

1:09:01

restaurant recommendation. That is the only loophole in the

1:09:03

case. No, there's nothing about that. No, she said,

1:09:05

I found the restaurant choice and the fact that

1:09:07

she wouldn't meet me to be disrespectful. Oh, I

1:09:09

thought she meant I'm the one that found this

1:09:12

restaurant choice. The sentence is accurate. I found the

1:09:14

restaurant choice and the fact that she wouldn't meet

1:09:16

me. Yeah, like, yeah, it's crazy. I wouldn't like

1:09:18

it at all. What is the point of this?

1:09:20

We don't go here because it's too expensive. It's

1:09:22

not even like how romantic it is, because I

1:09:24

guess romance is a little subjective. Like you could

1:09:26

say any low lit bar with like low ceilings

1:09:29

is romantic, but the price point, I'm like, why

1:09:31

are we doing this? She sounds like an intelligent

1:09:33

woman who is like cataloging all

1:09:35

of these little things. And I just don't

1:09:37

like what I'm hearing. And I'd really need

1:09:39

to like know everything about the relationship to

1:09:41

know if he is somebody that's really trustworthy,

1:09:43

that's making her feel secure, because all of

1:09:45

these things are really raising my red flags

1:09:47

and I don't like it. What

1:09:50

would you do? I know. It's hard

1:09:52

for me to like put myself in that position. Like, as

1:09:54

you get older, people just act better. I mean, it's just,

1:09:56

it's what it is. I'm not Andrew Huberman, but. But. I

1:10:00

mean, not everybody. There's

1:10:03

one paragraph in that

1:10:07

article that was just like, he said

1:10:09

that all these women are

1:10:13

crazy and stalkers, making all these stuff because

1:10:15

they're fame stalkers. And I'm like, is this

1:10:18

about a 20 year old or a 50

1:10:20

year old brilliant, famous neuroscientist? So crazy. Anyway,

1:10:22

so say, yeah, some people get better. But

1:10:25

you know, she is at no age is this

1:10:27

okay. But like, well, I mean, she was married

1:10:29

for six years. I mean, I guess there was a

1:10:31

word on which she got married at 18. But I mean,

1:10:33

she's probably at least 30. I was thinking I'm trying to

1:10:36

put myself in this position and think like, how would I

1:10:38

feel and how would I address it? And like,

1:10:40

I think I could have one to

1:10:42

two very rational conversations about it. Yeah.

1:10:45

Of like, you sort of withheld this information that she

1:10:47

lives there. Like, this just feels

1:10:50

I'm just letting you know, feels weird. Yeah, I'm just letting you know, I

1:10:52

don't I don't know what I expect you to do about it. I

1:10:55

don't know, like how the volumes are communicating with each

1:10:57

other. I really like to give the advice of trust

1:10:59

your gut, knowing that your gut can be wrong every

1:11:01

once in a while. But I don't know. I think

1:11:03

I want her to just keep all this in mind

1:11:05

and trust your gut. And don't be so

1:11:08

scared to get back out there. Like don't hold

1:11:10

on to this guy and ignore red flags because

1:11:12

you don't want to get back on to the

1:11:14

dating world and you think you found a good

1:11:16

one. You know, it's only been what six months

1:11:18

of dating, you know, like, it's not too late.

1:11:20

You've been through too much to be with somebody

1:11:22

who is going to do something shady. You know,

1:11:24

you were in this marriage that fell apart and

1:11:26

then her ex cheated on her with a professor

1:11:29

and it's just like, you need someone you can

1:11:31

trust fully. Like that should be your bar. And

1:11:33

for her, yes, you need somebody that's really gonna

1:11:35

make her feel safe. And there are people out there that

1:11:37

are like that. I am not in the camp of 100%.

1:11:39

He's definitely cheating. It's just like, no, no, no.

1:11:42

Behavior that is not respectful of me in our

1:11:44

relationship and I don't like it. Her feeling is

1:11:46

that like he would take it if it was

1:11:48

offered to him, which you don't want that either.

1:11:50

Really bad feeling. I'm really fortunate to not have

1:11:52

felt like that with exes that like I've had

1:11:54

relationships with that had like female friends. And like

1:11:56

once I start to feel like that, I can't

1:11:58

like unfeel it. Like when I look

1:12:00

back, the people that I thought I couldn't trust were people

1:12:02

that I couldn't trust. You know what I don't like? What?

1:12:05

Her saying teller will meet one on

1:12:08

one sometime. Like they can't all

1:12:10

be together because then she'll pick up on the vibes.

1:12:12

You know what I mean? Like why couldn't she walk

1:12:14

down the street and say hello? Cause that concerns me

1:12:16

too. That she only wants

1:12:18

to do a one on one because she's like, she'll pick

1:12:21

up on our vibes. I'm sorry, I feel so bad if

1:12:23

I'm putting this into this girl's head. We don't know for

1:12:25

sure. No, it's weird to me. And even just like,

1:12:27

like you're talking like single girls versus girls in relationships. As

1:12:29

a single girl, I guess I am almost like hyper aware

1:12:31

sometimes of like, yes, I do want to meet her.

1:12:33

I don't want somebody's significant other to be threatened by me.

1:12:36

And it's important to me that I like become friends

1:12:38

with my guy friends, significant others because I want us

1:12:40

all to be friends. Like I'm friends with all my

1:12:43

guy friends wives and I want to text with them

1:12:45

and send them jokes. And I love that she reached

1:12:47

out. Like I would say if you're really

1:12:49

uncomfortable with a significant other's friend, I

1:12:51

would reach out to that person and just play down

1:12:53

a little and try to be friendly and like see

1:12:56

how it is. I mean, to me though, I'm like

1:12:58

the partner has the responsibility to be the connector here.

1:13:00

Like, you know, I'm just thinking again, like I'm in

1:13:02

a relationship that I feel 100% secure a

1:13:05

hundred percent of the time. If I had some friend

1:13:07

male or female, I wanted to meet, I'd be like,

1:13:09

hey, set this up. And he would do it. Right.

1:13:12

I wouldn't have to go around him. You know what I mean? So

1:13:15

I don't like that either. Me, I'm sneaky.

1:13:17

I would be doing it. I'd be a dick. But

1:13:19

I think she actually had really good intentions at first. And

1:13:21

she was like, oh, this is a person who is important

1:13:24

to my significant other. And I want to meet them. I

1:13:26

mean, I'm saying, oh, what unit does she live in? Buzz,

1:13:28

buzz. It's me, bitch. You can't ignore

1:13:30

me. I'm knocking on your door. She's over there at

1:13:32

the apartment complex anyway. I'm going to go sail it.

1:13:34

It's about to be summer. Is there a pool? I'm

1:13:36

not leaving that apartment complex until I've met her. I

1:13:38

will wait at the gate. All

1:13:41

right, let's move on. Best of luck. Keep

1:13:43

us updated, sis. And we feel for you

1:13:45

and we're on your team wholeheartedly. 100OP,

1:13:48

which is so sweet. I just love you guys

1:13:50

so much. Can't wait to be on

1:13:52

tour. I miss you all so much. Okay, we'll

1:13:54

wrap up with this email. My ex and I

1:13:56

were in a long distance relationship in college as

1:13:58

he was starting Physicians. assistant school and I

1:14:01

was still finishing my undergraduate multiple states away

1:14:03

from one another. They were finally starting

1:14:05

some practicums where they were

1:14:07

learning how to do different procedures slash

1:14:09

tests, etc. and were on their

1:14:11

primary care unit learning how to do

1:14:14

annual physicals. Obviously in this

1:14:16

unit they learned how to do these exams on both

1:14:18

men and women. And with that being said, knowing the

1:14:20

nature of what he was in school to become, I

1:14:22

knew this was a unit they were going to ultimately

1:14:24

come across. It was a little weird to

1:14:27

think about it in the beginning because it seems intimate

1:14:29

but I was able to get over it that on

1:14:31

their actual quote unquote patients they had to come into the

1:14:33

clinic for them to learn on. Now where the site

1:14:35

comes in. He told me

1:14:37

he and his quote unquote classmate but if

1:14:39

I had to think it was probably only

1:14:41

this one specific female classmate of his, we're

1:14:43

going to be quote unquote practicing on one

1:14:46

another. I very clearly expressed that

1:14:48

I was uncomfortable with him doing this with

1:14:50

a classmate and I was met with you're

1:14:52

hindering my education and you're just

1:14:54

being insecure in our relationship. And

1:14:56

I also wanted to be known that at that

1:14:58

point in time the specialty that interested him the

1:15:00

least was primary care. Dot,

1:15:03

dot, dot. I mean,

1:15:05

okay, they're young, right? If

1:15:07

they're on like a college traditional track

1:15:09

of undergrad and you know, going to

1:15:11

normal age college. So

1:15:14

there is that you really let

1:15:16

go of a lot of these types of things as

1:15:18

you get older. Again, I always don't want to sound

1:15:20

condescending. I'm speaking from past experience.

1:15:24

Like I don't

1:15:26

know. We asked our friend who's dating

1:15:28

a doctor who's about to start his

1:15:30

residencies and she just

1:15:33

didn't agree with like the weirdness

1:15:36

and the jealousy about it, you know, it's just

1:15:38

like part of the job. So it does make

1:15:40

you wonder if there's other stuff going on that

1:15:43

is making her not trust him because

1:15:46

it's like what you got to do. And

1:15:48

I need to know if it's normal to like play

1:15:50

doctor with your classmates. Like,

1:15:53

is that normal? Like, I think it has to

1:15:55

be right. Like, you know, he's a mechanic and

1:15:57

he's my doctor with his classmates. You

1:16:02

gotta practice on somebody. I mean, it just,

1:16:04

it feels like it's all in the name

1:16:06

of professionalism. I don't know. Like,

1:16:08

I mean, she's saying like, this is not really what

1:16:10

he wants to do, but that changes too. Like

1:16:13

you can't hold that against somebody.

1:16:15

Like if they've changed their course

1:16:18

in medicine, that can change day to day. I just

1:16:20

want to say that like, this is a school assignment.

1:16:22

They didn't come up with this on their own at

1:16:25

home. He wasn't like, I was with Jennifer playing doctor.

1:16:27

Don't be such a baby about it. She showed me

1:16:29

her pussy for medical reasons. Right. Like,

1:16:32

yeah, he never had any interest in gynecology.

1:16:34

And he's like, well, actually Jennifer wants me to

1:16:36

delve into gynecology. He wanted me to taste it

1:16:38

to see if it was normal. Does

1:16:42

this taste normal to you? We

1:16:46

thought this was so ridiculous. I mean,

1:16:48

I wonder if she

1:16:50

thinks he's lying. You know, I wonder if she,

1:16:52

but like, why would he lie about that? He's

1:16:55

not medical. He's actually looking at, he's a mechanic, act

1:16:57

dentist. So, but

1:16:59

here's the thing, like if this is normal, we should

1:17:01

ask our friends, boyfriends, but I think it's like a

1:17:03

study group. Yeah, I think you're, it's like having a

1:17:06

study group. It just so happens to be like bodies

1:17:08

that you're studying. But I do think she can't really

1:17:10

get mad. Like what's

1:17:12

the alternative? She's going to be like, no,

1:17:14

you can't do this with your classmates. So

1:17:16

go find other strangers that open range. Just

1:17:19

have patients, a cadaver. I mean, I'm sure

1:17:21

they do that too. So they start on

1:17:23

mannequins and make their way to cadavers and

1:17:26

then it's classmates and then it's real patients.

1:17:28

Anyone listening, I mean, I don't know

1:17:30

either, but they're probably like, oh my God. If

1:17:32

I have a doctor do you instruct a mannequin?

1:17:35

Is that real? I made that up. But like,

1:17:37

when you're in esthetician school, you practice on a mannequin.

1:17:42

I Think now You're saying like interactive software is

1:17:44

like AI stuff that you probably practice on, you

1:17:46

don't have to do it with a person now.

1:17:48

I Don't know all the ins and outs. If

1:17:50

This is something that's going on, this is totally

1:17:52

normal. And she's like, I don't feel comfortable. And

1:17:54

he's like, well, you're kind of hindering my education.

1:17:56

He's not wrong. I mean, what's the alternative? He

1:17:58

switches professions. Like It's just kind of. Like

1:18:00

it is gonna be what it as and yeah

1:18:02

you're entitled to feel uncomfortable by the way like

1:18:04

it would still make the along comfortable node like

1:18:07

my man with worker renames put his hands oliver

1:18:09

women's bodies but like if you could do that

1:18:11

professionally for the rest of your lives and he

1:18:13

sounds like you can be rich. Oh

1:18:17

you know what their long distance which is tough to

1:18:20

I mean we did a whole ups and alongside relationships

1:18:22

a couple weeks ago. The Guzman go back and listen

1:18:24

I mean a lot people do have trust issues on

1:18:26

it comes to them and especially if you are for

1:18:28

younger and it's effect on this is. Sort of one

1:18:30

of the things I guess you could feel a little

1:18:32

uncomfortable but like he hasn't done anything to. Prove

1:18:35

he's not trustworthy like he's just a

1:18:37

school in L. Yeah, So.

1:18:39

A huge shoes and I date somebody like that. me

1:18:41

like I'm not controversy touching women's bodies until the under

1:18:44

time. It's like they did an actor. Hopefully.

1:18:47

They. Might be doing sex scenes erm, kiss,

1:18:49

seen or whatever for work. Take it

1:18:51

or leave it. I'm gonna leave it

1:18:53

be a male after as I mean

1:18:55

you just get off on a loophole.

1:18:57

ever since. I

1:18:59

had a father. Of the opposite

1:19:01

side. Love for

1:19:03

me fun yeah later list earlier you

1:19:05

ask me questions asked the celebrating the

1:19:08

of okay well yeah I hope you

1:19:10

guys enjoyed it yeah I did of

1:19:12

her join the new Cd else as

1:19:14

let us know the common animal than

1:19:16

I to nice stuff only hopefully and

1:19:18

girls that he.com to get the tickets

1:19:20

for the know crumbs tor twenty twenty

1:19:23

four girls gotta eat the podcast and

1:19:25

of course get the merge. Switch off

1:19:27

the new merged for the tour and

1:19:29

us are going to be like I

1:19:31

said a girl's gotta. eat.com girls got

1:19:33

a podcast on Instagram and Tic Toc

1:19:36

I Am Ass has reign as Ran.greenberg

1:19:38

and are other company vibes only vibes

1:19:40

only.com and subscribe and you to share

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this episode with a friend and we'll

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see next week. Other week I have

1:19:47

I.