0:00

That night I couldn't sleep. Every creak

0:02

of the house made me jump and Max was restless,

0:04

pacing around the living room. Around 2am,

0:06

just as I was to start dozing off, I heard

0:08

it. Max, what's up, boy?

0:13

After about five minutes, I wondered why he

0:16

hadn't said nothing. No, but I don't like

0:18

this. So I turned around

0:20

to look at him, only to

0:22

see a little girl. Ahh!

0:27

Not only is that scary, it's fucking all you want

0:29

to just go, fuck off, mate! No, fucking like, kick her.

0:31

Kick her in the face! Kick her in the face! KICK

0:33

HER IN THE FACE! I've

0:35

just soiled my pants. Um,

0:37

where's my au pair to clean me? Like

0:42

my bum?

0:45

Welcome to

0:50

episode 82 of

0:52

Go Sons. Huns,

1:00

huns, huns, huns, huns, huns, huns, huns, huns,

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huns. We've come so far, Hannah. When

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shopping Kroger, where you'll find over

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matter what tasty choice you make, you'll enjoy

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our everyday low prices. Plus, extra ways to

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save, like digital coupons worth over $600 each

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week. You can

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also save up to $1 off per gallon at

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the pump with fuel points. More

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savings and more inspiring flavors. 82,

1:35

82 weeks. 82 fucking episodes. What's that like

1:37

a year ago? I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

1:39

What's that like a year and a

1:42

half, just over in dog years? We've

1:44

got five dogs. And

1:49

dog years, I'm a bit

1:51

hungover today, so Hannah got

1:53

me drunk. So

1:55

you did a very good job in tuning in yourself.

1:57

Actually, I didn't feel that drunk. One

2:00

regret I have is that I didn't have that Basque

2:02

cheesecake. Why didn't you have that? You

2:04

get you. You follow the promise always

2:06

and you never follow through. I'm

2:09

going to have a coat and no knickers. Yeah, that's

2:11

it. Yeah. And you're going to have I'm

2:14

going to have a Basque cheesecake. I'm going to

2:16

have a sangria. Because we were having the drinks.

2:18

I forgot we. Oh, my God. The biggest crow

2:20

in the world came and took her croqueta. It

2:23

did. But thank God, because it was

2:25

fucking gross. Little bitches. I hate crows.

2:28

You've heard it here now. I don't mind them. They're

2:31

bullies. Oh, just just

2:33

part of the food cheters. Are you

2:35

talking about your traumatizing? Yeah, the young,

2:37

the young birds. OK, so how are

2:40

you? Are you well? You're not hungover.

2:42

I'm going to feel all right. I'm just I'm very

2:44

tired. Mm. But

2:47

I mean, like I'm always quite tired. I'd

2:49

love a wild swim right now. You

2:52

know, like a what in the lake? A lovely,

2:54

babbling brook. Yeah, that would be nice. And I

2:56

just flow through it with the sun dappling.

2:58

Yeah, through the trees. And I'm just having

3:01

a little doggy paddle. Yeah, and

3:03

a lovely lunch. Mm. Caesar

3:05

Sally. I fucking want

3:07

a Caesar salad. I

3:09

want I was wondering this morning whether or not I could go

3:12

and get with those salads from that salad bar you keep talking

3:14

about. But it's too late. You

3:16

have to go there at some point. Well,

3:19

we'll go. You

3:21

keep telling me this and we'd never go. Well,

3:23

when do you want to go? Let's put a date in. Now. No,

3:26

we've got a podcast to record. See,

3:28

you're always putting up barriers. I

3:32

am very firm. Yes, how are you? I'm

3:34

like we haven't just spent the past four hours together. I'm

3:38

well, I'm very well. I've got

3:41

a gig I am I'm sure I want

3:44

to do tonight and

3:46

cancel it. Fucking cancel it. Well, you're

3:48

going to go back home now to

3:50

Ealing and then you're going to go back

3:52

out. I know. Cancel it, mate.

3:54

It's bad, isn't it? Cancel it. Well, I

3:57

read a book. Get your trackies on. I'm

4:00

called Lounge. Have a lovely cup of

4:02

tea. The book that I'm on now

4:04

is David Nichols' new one. What's that?

4:07

He's the one who wrote One Day. I'm sure we've spoken

4:09

about this and I'm gonna tell you what it's like. Oh,

4:11

what, One Day, the romantic comedy? Yeah,

4:13

yeah, yeah. That's not really a comedy.

4:15

The one you watch on Netflix. Oh,

4:17

that's great on a hangover. Ah. Romantic.

4:20

Drama. Go home. Put

4:24

your tracksuit bottoms on. Get a nice hoodie on. Take

4:27

your bra off. Get into bed.

4:30

Yeah. What, you checking if you had

4:32

a bra on? Yeah, well, I was wondering which one it is.

4:34

Oh, do you sometimes, are you able to walk around without a

4:36

bra on sometimes? No. So be so jealous.

4:39

No, no, no, no, I don't do that. You know, so those people are like,

4:42

I don't even know if I've got one on. No, that's not

4:44

right. Don't fuck yourself, bitches!

4:47

Yeah. I

4:49

carry around these melons on a daily basis. And

4:52

it's always digging in. No,

4:55

go home. Get comfy as shit. Put your

4:57

fluffy socks on. Yeah, but I've got to

4:59

try some new materials now. No, you haven't.

5:03

But then I have to, because it's my career. Didn't you try some

5:05

new material you were doing? Yeah, we're going to try again. You're going

5:07

to do some more? Well, I have to, don't I? See if it

5:09

works. Yeah, but like, give, just

5:12

have a little break. I know, but I

5:14

say that all the time. Actually, I do need

5:16

some new material kicks as well. Anyway. Okay, well,

5:18

other than that, we're doing, we're doing a phenomenal

5:20

job. We're doing absolutely thriving. We had a lovely

5:22

day in Richmond yesterday. We put the

5:25

world to rights. Oh, we did. I think everyone

5:27

hated us in that beer garden. Yeah.

5:30

There was a couple that were just listening to

5:32

our ADHD. Yeah. Just.

5:34

Just screeching at each other. Yeah. Just

5:37

screeching words at each other. Yeah. If you want to

5:39

know what mine and Hannah's friendship is like, it's much

5:41

like the pod where we just go, blah, blah, blah,

5:43

blah. It's like the pod and it's also, it's incredibly

5:46

like Huns After Dark and... Oh,

5:48

good plug. Agony Huns, which you

5:50

can find on patreon.com/K-Suns. And actually there's

5:53

a bit of goss over there. Oh,

5:56

there's so much goss. There's some proper goss. So

5:58

go over. Why do I want to... I'm not Rod

6:00

Stewart today, what is that? You're hungover, I

6:03

find my hair when I'm hungover just gets bigger and

6:05

bigger and bigger. Yeah, it's like a Japanese

6:08

knotweed. Yeah. Bloody

6:10

hell. It is quite...lucky.

6:13

Yeah, it's sort of, it's like Medusa's

6:15

snakes, isn't it? Yes, yeah. They're coming and

6:17

getting there. But it's fine. Anyway,

6:19

why don't you pick a tarot to

6:22

set up the theme is for this

6:24

episode, please. Do

6:27

you apologise, I'm not well. I'm

6:30

taking this really seriously. Oh. It's

6:36

a book. I

6:40

don't think we've ever had this before. What

6:42

on earth? It's the Ace of Wands. Oh

6:44

my god, I've actually never seen that in

6:46

my life. No, me neither. I'm going to

6:48

Google it. That's one big carrot. Shall we

6:50

Google it because that is horrible, that book.

6:52

Ooh, it symbolises a pivotal act. Hannah,

6:54

this is from the goss from yesterday. Oh.

7:15

And it does look like a penis. But

7:20

I don't know what I have to say. Honestly, you heard nothing there

7:23

because my mouth was wide open. What

7:25

I have to say, in all honesty, is that I

7:27

initially picked it up very much reversed. Oh, did you?

7:29

What does it say for that? Emerging

7:32

idea, lack of direction, distractions and

7:34

delays. In

7:37

the Ace of Wands, a hand holding a sprouting

7:40

hand extends from a cloud as if to offer

7:42

a new opportunity or idea with the potential to

7:44

grow. Oh. The rich,

7:47

verdant landscape is further confirmation of this

7:49

growth capability. In the distance on the

7:51

left sits a castle representing the promise

7:53

of opportunities to come. And

7:56

hills and mountains line

7:58

the horizon. They're rolling peaks. remind

8:00

us that there will always be challenges along

8:02

the way, but they are surmountable with enough

8:04

effort. So basically we just have to

8:06

keep working hard. I love

8:08

that. It says the reverse

8:10

here suggests that you

8:12

should be resisting change which can seem

8:15

to frighten you. Nevertheless it's to your

8:17

ultimate advantage not to bulk even though

8:19

the situation may seem risky. Right so

8:22

we have to just stay steadfast, keep

8:24

doing what we're doing. I love that

8:26

and that's exactly what we needed today.

8:29

Yeah that's really exciting. Oh I love

8:31

that. Maybe put it in the middle

8:33

there. Okay do

8:35

you want to stir it? Yeah go on then.

8:41

Okay I've got some

8:43

here. When

8:47

I was 12 years old I had

8:49

a best friend named Brenda. Didn't

8:52

wait oh. She

8:54

was the dinner lady. Nobody

8:57

else would talk to me. So I

8:59

had to go for a 52 year old divorcee. After

9:03

school we always went to her house to hang out.

9:05

That's a bit weird now. She

9:07

lived in a big house on the edge of town. One

9:10

day, I'm so sorry. Excuse

9:13

me. One day Brenda didn't show

9:15

up for school. She was absent for the next few days

9:17

and I began wondering if there was something wrong with her.

9:20

After she had missed a whole week of school

9:22

I decided to pay her a visit. I

9:25

cycled all the way across town and arrived at her

9:27

house just as it was getting dark outside. When

9:30

I rang the doorbell I got the shock

9:32

when the door opened almost immediately. Brenda's

9:35

mother was standing in the doorway but

9:38

there was something very strange about her. Her

9:41

eyes seemed darker than usual and her hair was

9:43

hanging loose around her shoulders. I

9:45

noticed that she was wearing a bathrobe. The

9:47

most unsettling thing was the

9:50

way that she was grinning at me. Is this

9:52

Brenda or Brenda's mum? She

9:54

didn't say a word she just stood there staring at me

9:57

with an evil smile playing across her lips. Is

10:00

Brenda here? I asked nervously. She

10:03

beckoned at me to come in and before I could

10:05

say anything, she'd slipped back into the

10:07

darkened house. As I stepped

10:09

inside, my eyes strained to see in the darkness, but

10:11

I wasn't sure where she'd gone. But just then, I

10:14

heard a strange humming sound.

10:17

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

10:23

Just in case no-one knows what humming is. Mm-hmm.

10:27

I followed it into the kitchen. I found her there,

10:29

standing at the kitchen sink with her back towards me.

10:32

The moment I entered the kitchen, she stopped humming

10:34

and there was an eerie silence. I

10:36

took a seat at the kitchen table and waited. She

10:39

seemed to be taking forever. I spent

10:41

the next five minutes just sitting there, wondering

10:44

what was going on, and then I realised

10:46

something very odd. The whole

10:48

time I'd been sitting there, she

10:50

hadn't moved a muscle. Her back

10:52

was still towards me and I couldn't see

10:55

her face. Her hands hung limply by her

10:57

sides and her head was tilted slightly, something

10:59

was very wrong. I

11:01

stood up nervously and approached her. She

11:03

remained completely still. Ever so slowly,

11:05

I moved around her and tried to get a look

11:07

at her face to see if she was all right.

11:09

The sight still haunts me to this very day. Her

11:12

eyes were wide open and she still had that evil grin

11:14

on her face. I was so freaked

11:16

out that I couldn't bear to stay in the kitchen a

11:19

moment longer. Without saying a word, I backed out of the

11:21

room and made my way towards the front door. I

11:24

jumped on my bike and began cycling as fast

11:26

as I could on a long, winding driveway and

11:28

all the way across town. I didn't stop until

11:31

I reached the safety of my own house. It

11:34

wasn't until a few days later that I found out why

11:36

my friend Brenda had been absent from school. My

11:38

parents told me that there had been a tragic death in

11:40

Brenda's family. Who died? I

11:43

asked. My parents

11:45

broke the sudden use to me and it made

11:47

my hair stand on end. I was crying from

11:49

fright. Brenda's mother had

11:51

died suddenly. The

11:54

night I was called over to her house,

11:56

Brenda had been at her grandparents place, attending

11:58

the funeral. years

12:01

later when I was 16 you look confused so

12:06

the night she met Branda's mum yeah

12:08

I get it I do get

12:10

it I'm just a bit slow

12:12

today I'm just practicing just need

12:14

to give you fuck watch Jesus

12:18

what's happening Rosie

12:22

James just stripped her clothes off okay

12:25

and I really ruined the

12:27

yeah well get

12:31

back in my thing okay Brenda's

12:34

mother had died suddenly in the night I called

12:36

over to her house Brenda had been at her

12:38

grandparents place attending the funeral years

12:40

later when I was 16 I made a little extra

12:42

money by working as a babysitter on weekends on

12:45

weekend one evening

12:48

a friend of mine called me and said she knew

12:50

a family who desperately needed a babysitter she was

12:52

busy and wanted to know if I was interested

12:54

in babysitting for them instead she

12:56

told me the parents were really nice the pay was

12:58

good and their three-year-old daughter was polite and well behaved

13:00

I wasn't doing anything important so I told her I'd be really

13:03

glad to take the job that evening I went

13:05

to the family's house and met the mother her name was Ruth

13:07

and she was getting ready to go out for the night with

13:09

friends she mentioned that her husband was out of town on business

13:11

and gave me some numbers to call if I needed to get

13:13

in touch with them the

13:15

night was really easy I made dinner for the little girl gave her

13:17

a bubble bath and then I got a dress for bed it

13:20

was around midnight when I heard the front door open and

13:22

footsteps coming down the hallway I thought it was

13:24

strange because I hadn't even heard a car pull up turning

13:27

round I was relieved to see Ruth making her way

13:29

into the living room where I was sitting watching TV

13:32

she never said a word to me and as she walked

13:34

past me I was surprised by how different she looked something

13:37

about her eyes had changed and she was grinning from

13:40

ear to ear I

13:42

felt it cold chill run down my spine I knew

13:44

that evil grin I'd seen it before many

13:47

many years ago Ruth

13:49

sat at the dining table was her back turned towards

13:51

me her hands hung limp by her sides

13:53

and her head was copped to the left she was humming

13:55

to herself Ruth

13:57

I asked nervously Ruth you okay

14:00

No answer. Bruce, you're

14:04

not alive anymore, are you? Silence.

14:08

With shaking hands I quickly gathered my things

14:10

and backed out of the room. When

14:12

I got to the hallway I opened the front door and

14:14

I looked outside. There was no car in the driveway.

14:18

All of a sudden the eerie silence was broken by the

14:20

sound of the phone ringing. I didn't want

14:22

to answer it. I was afraid of what I might hear. For

14:24

a moment my hand seemed to hover over the phone. Then I

14:26

lifted the receiver and put it to my ear. I

14:29

already knew who it was. It was the

14:31

police calling to tell me that Ruth had been involved in a

14:33

car accident an hour ago. She'd been

14:35

killed on impact. Tears were

14:37

streaming down my face as I ran upstairs, grabbed

14:39

Ruth's daughter from her bed and bundled her up

14:41

in the blanket. As I came

14:43

back downstairs I had to pass by the door to the living room.

14:46

I could still see Ruth sitting at the table with her

14:48

back to me. Without pausing

14:51

for a second I ran out into the

14:53

night carrying the little girl in my arms.

14:56

Oh my god. Spooker!

15:00

I hate that setback. And

15:02

the back turned as well because it just feels

15:04

at any moment like a snap. Like that man.

15:06

Like that tweed man. Oh

15:09

fucking crazy. Did you enjoy that

15:11

did you? Yeah especially when it

15:13

goes, Ruth you're not alive are

15:15

you? Ruth

15:17

you're not alive anymore. I love to

15:19

play a ghost. I

15:22

just, a part of me is like,

15:24

why is Ruth doing that? Yeah. You

15:27

know? Don't scare the babysitter. Don't scare,

15:29

I think it's their souls they have no

15:31

choice. Oh I see.

15:33

You're just damned to wander

15:36

the errr. Damned? Mmm. Would

15:39

you like one from me? Yes please girl. Go

15:56

Kevin or Becky's Bachelorette Bash in Bermuda.

15:58

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16:00

trip ever again. So download the Priceline

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to your happy price, Priceline. Oh,

16:13

I quite like this one. It's grizzly. Oh,

16:16

I love a grizzly one. My

16:21

little sister isn't a

16:23

missing person anymore because something else

16:26

came home in her place. Oh, I've read this

16:28

one. I know I should have been

16:30

ecstatic. My mother's eyes swam with

16:32

gratitude and yet mine were always cast to

16:34

the ground, burning holes into crayon-ridden patches of

16:36

carpet we refused to clean. We

16:39

barely dared to dream during those silent

16:41

dinners without willow. The

16:43

jarring sound of cutlery echoing through our

16:45

now too empty house. Conversations

16:48

seeming pointless without her. Skipping

16:50

around the dinner table, begging for attention,

16:52

I gave her too little of thumbs

16:54

ghosting over my phone instead. I

16:57

want to reach back in time and wrench my head from

16:59

my shoulders when I think of her, begging

17:01

to show me a cartwheel, watching myself roll

17:04

my eyes instead of grabbing her up and

17:06

memorizing her face because she

17:08

would be dead soon. Days

17:10

of torture turned to weeks and willow

17:13

was gone, lost to some place only

17:15

our terrible imaginations could conjure up. She

17:18

was dead, but we were ghosts,

17:20

haunting our own house with pale

17:22

apparitions of ourselves, eating

17:24

to live and speaking only

17:26

to fill the silence. She was

17:28

color and the world redrew itself in black and

17:30

white for

17:35

the three of us. Life was over until

17:39

it wasn't. The news she

17:41

was missing had never really caught on outside the walls of

17:43

our little town, so when the

17:45

local policeman came to our doorstep it was

17:47

without fanfare. On the very

17:49

first day she vanished, the officer leading

17:52

the investigation found a small pair of

17:54

gloves, her gloves by the

17:56

treacherous river that wound through the woods.

17:59

To them the investigation was over before it

18:01

even began, no need to alert the press

18:03

or sully the town with sad posters. The

18:06

world chugged along without us, utterly unbothered and

18:08

we crumbled into a thousand pieces. As

18:11

the Rainsoak policeman uttered on

18:13

a Tuesday evening, Willow had

18:15

returned, found in a patch

18:17

of woods smeared with mud and blood and

18:19

asking to come back to our home. She

18:22

led the police to this house and

18:24

as everyone yelled in unison, she's back! It's

18:27

what my parents choked out in desperate relieved

18:29

sobs. I've never heard fill our house up

18:32

before. It's what all the paperwork stated, endless

18:34

days of making sure everything was above board.

18:37

It seemed I was the only naysayer,

18:42

staring into this girl's eyes and knowing

18:45

with every fibre of my being that

18:47

this was not my Willow sitting

18:49

cross-legged on our family sofa. She

18:52

looked like her, eerily so, but

18:55

it was off. It was wrong. Her

18:57

chin was a little too pointy, her

18:59

gaze a little too cold. She was

19:01

not my bright bubbly little sister dressed

19:03

head to toe in pink, but

19:06

she said she was. She said it with a smile

19:08

that didn't quite reach her eyes, eyes

19:11

which sparkled just a shade or two

19:13

off willows. Her voice was

19:15

a semitone lower but that's because it's

19:17

been two years and voices change, my

19:19

mother insisted. Her chin length

19:21

hair now flowed far past her shoulders

19:23

in that same chocolate hue, a length

19:26

Willow would gasp at if she saw.

19:28

This stranger wandered straight into our house,

19:31

pulled on my sister's two small clothes

19:33

and played pretend pulling the strings on

19:35

everyone but me. The

19:37

first night was something out of a

19:39

horror movie. The

19:44

first night was something out of a horror

19:47

movie. The heaviest sense of dread settling like

19:49

lead in my stomach. Bile rose

19:51

into my throat as she skipped into

19:53

the living room settling herself in Willow's

19:55

seat and tugging impatiently at the hem

19:57

of my sister's favourite dress. for

20:00

her on a spontaneous shopping trip watching her

20:02

eyes light up at the little sunflowers lining

20:04

the collar. She'd been giddy and

20:06

now a stranger's fingernails dug into

20:08

the fabric leaving marks I'd never get

20:10

rid of. No longer would that

20:12

little dress smell like Willow because it was going to

20:14

smell like her. Come

20:17

to the table, my mother insisted in a

20:19

too jovial tone, eyes more alight than I'd

20:21

seen them in years. My father nodded a

20:23

silent agreement, perhaps a bit more muted than

20:25

she was, and I had to swallow down

20:27

my fury, my confusion I had to. Six

20:30

eyes bore into mine and the chair scraped

20:32

as I sat down, and this wasn't my

20:34

sister. She stared over her plate

20:37

at me with a hollow smile, eyes

20:39

devoid of any real emotion. Her fingers

20:41

drummed on the mahogany, a disjointed rhythm

20:43

I'd never heard despite sitting across from

20:45

my sister for nine years. I

20:48

missed you. Her

20:50

words were sickly sweet, head tilted

20:52

slightly to the side. Her gaze

20:54

felt almost challenging but my mother's

20:57

eyes brimmed with tears as she

20:59

nodded vigorously, fork hanging in

21:01

mid-air. Oh gosh, you

21:03

wouldn't believe she gulped her words down,

21:05

overwhelmed. You've dreamt of a family

21:07

dinner, haven't you love? She regarded

21:09

me almost desperately, fingers trembling. And

21:12

I had, of course. I'd cried a

21:14

thousand tears for my baby sister but

21:16

the girl, swinging her legs inches from

21:18

mine, sitting in my sister's clothes, was

21:20

not the girl I sobbed

21:22

for. When her foot brushed mine accidentally,

21:25

thousands of goosebumps erupted over my skin

21:27

because it was wrong. I'd

21:31

love to hear where you've been, I dared

21:34

whisper into the silence. My mother

21:36

gasped, fork clattering noisily onto her

21:38

plate. Mr Matthew said, yeah, and

21:40

if Willow ever turns up I'll keep quiet

21:42

about it. I snapped, eyeing this wild animal

21:44

before me. She sucked in a

21:46

mighty breath and I swore I felt her

21:48

gaze prickle me. But it was only seconds

21:51

before her eyes became dough-like, wide and comical.

21:54

I don't want to talk about it, she

21:57

uttered sadly, looking to my mother for reassurance.

21:59

Her lip quivered, hands shook. It was almost

22:01

laughable how overzealous her performance was and

22:03

yet my father admonished me, snapping at

22:05

me to leave while my mother gathered

22:07

up the intruder in her arms, clutching

22:09

at her so she'd never leave. I

22:12

watched the family before me, new and beginning,

22:15

new and being invented before my eyes. As

22:18

I left, she smirked

22:20

right at me. Nobody believed

22:23

me. Not on the second day when I

22:25

walked in and saw her doing perfect cartwheels

22:27

in the living room, something Willow had been

22:29

utterly hopeless at. She must have learnt, my

22:31

mother chirped, scrubbing dishes so vigorously I saw

22:33

she was leaving cracks. Nobody blinked on the

22:35

third day when she locked herself in the

22:37

bathroom and claimed to be too sick to

22:40

head to the station to kickstart the rigorous

22:42

medical testing. But it was the fourth

22:44

night that haunted my dreams.

22:47

Driving me ever closer to the edge, I'd

22:49

been dancing along. I'd largely managed to avoid

22:51

her. Other than the odd lingering

22:53

gazes we crossed paths in the hallway or

22:55

a wry smile as we brushed shoulders. Until,

22:58

there she was, at two am, standing

23:01

over me as I slept. I

23:04

didn't scream. Didn't startle her into dropping her

23:06

soulless smile as she gazed upon me, staring

23:09

down mere inches from my face. So close

23:11

I could feel her hot breath on my

23:13

nose, feel the animosity coming off her in

23:15

waves. She didn't move when I clocked her,

23:18

she didn't take a step back or pretend

23:20

to be doing anything other than pressing her

23:22

face into mine in the dead of night.

23:24

She sounds like a right little twat. I

23:26

know, what? I don't want to say

23:28

C word. It

23:31

just doesn't feel like the day. No, it's not the

23:33

day for it, but she is young. When you're on

23:35

go there. Yeah, she is a massive clock.

23:39

Clock? Why are you

23:41

here? I whispered. And we both knew I meant

23:43

more than standing in my room. She

23:45

laughed, a little giggle I'd never heard leave Willow's

23:47

mouth. Not

23:51

only is that scary, it's fucking all you want to just go fuck

23:53

off me. Kick her in

23:55

the face. Kick her in the face. Kick her in the face. I

23:57

wanted to come home. Mmm,

24:01

gross. No.

25:00

I like your mum. She's

25:30

like the doll Megan. loss.

26:00

And she left, leaving me aghast as

26:02

I festered at my blanket, desperately grabbing

26:04

Willow's teddy bear from beside my bed

26:06

and clutching it to my chest. I

26:09

sobbed myself to sleep that night, face buried

26:11

in her favourite toy and knowing for sure

26:14

that she was never coming home. It only

26:16

got worse. One day I came

26:18

home and my father wouldn't speak. Only

26:20

managing to stare at his new daughter, she smirked

26:22

at him from the shadow of Willow's bedroom. He

26:25

startled at me in the hallway scurrying back to his

26:27

study. When I called for him, he shook his head.

26:30

Hang out with your friends, go back outside,

26:32

he'd ordered, voice cracking. He slammed the door behind

26:35

him and that was that. I

26:37

was left to stare into Willow's room, locking

26:39

gazes with a pair of empty eyes, sneering

26:41

at me from under the bed. Dark shadows

26:44

only giving me a glimpse at her little

26:46

limbs, all cracked at the wrong angles, as

26:48

she twisted herself to fit where she shouldn't.

26:51

When I tried to speak to my mother,

26:53

she grew more and more irate, once physically

26:55

covering my mouth with her hand. Mum,

26:58

please, you have to see she isn't who she-

27:00

But she muffled my words out of existence with

27:02

a trembling hand, sending me a subtle no with

27:04

a quick shake of the head. She

27:07

pleaded towards me with her eyes, but I realised

27:09

quickly that her steely gaze had fallen behind me.

27:11

I didn't need to see the parasite

27:14

in my peripheral, to feel her gaze

27:16

burning holes into the back of my

27:18

head, and I wasn't imagining it. My

27:20

mother was fearful, finally turning back to

27:22

me with steely resolve. Everything

27:24

is fine, she murmured, speaking a thousand words

27:27

with only her eyes and voice, dropping to

27:29

a whisper. We will make it work. I

27:31

think she just doesn't want to- She just

27:33

doesn't want to talk back. That

27:37

night, the stranger wearing my sister's favourite bracelet

27:39

gleefully pushed a piece of paper to the

27:41

centre of the dinner table, eyes

27:43

lit up with glee. I drew it! No.

27:47

I drew us! She cried,

27:50

greedily watching for our reactions. My

27:52

mother gave nothing away, only visibly swallowing

27:54

as she drank in the paper white-knuckle

27:57

grip on her spoon. My father stood

27:59

from his- seat, striding from the table

28:01

and slamming the front door behind him as

28:03

he left us, perhaps for the last time.

28:06

I, however, dared pick it up,

28:08

regarding every horrific line and frantic

28:10

scratching before me. It

28:13

was us. Except the people

28:15

labelled Mummy and Daddy were standing

28:17

with our heads, rivers

28:19

of blood dripping down their torn torsos.

28:21

My double sat in the corner of the

28:23

paper, a pair of gouged out eyes

28:25

lying on the floor next to my

28:27

terrified frame. Our stranger stood smiling with

28:29

a large rake in her hand, head

28:31

bent to the side and wearing my

28:33

sister's dress. Somehow, worst of

28:35

all, was the picture of a little

28:38

girl crumpled in the corner, a frown

28:40

etched upon her face. Willow, the scrawl

28:42

above her, stated. I could hardly

28:44

bear it. I don't remember how, I

28:46

don't remember much of it now. Just

28:48

the screaming and crying, lifting, whatever wasn't

28:51

nailed down and hurling it across the

28:53

room, watching it splinter into a thousand

28:55

pieces. My mother cradling me as she

28:57

dragged me upstairs, letting me ball into

28:59

her familiar sweet smelling cardigan, clutching her

29:01

as though she'd leave me too. The

29:03

swirling wrongness engulfed our house, swallowing

29:05

us back into the clutches of

29:07

grief. But my all encompassing comfort

29:09

disappeared because when that horrible little

29:11

thing downstairs called a desperate Mummy,

29:14

my mother went rigid. She don't have to

29:16

go, I pleaded through bleary eyes, but her

29:18

sad smile told me that she did. I

29:22

prayed two years for

29:24

my baby girl to come home, she said in

29:27

a thick voice clutching my hands as if begging

29:29

me to understand. I'll always wish

29:31

I tried harder to keep her in that room with

29:33

me because the moment I loosened my grasp, I

29:36

sealed her fate. The thing downstairs called

29:38

and she offered me a sad smile,

29:40

fingers brushing mine before she disappeared through

29:42

the darkness of the door. I

29:44

never saw her again. Before my

29:47

eyes closed and sleep claimed me, I

29:49

saw the head of Willow's beloved bear, discarded

29:52

on the floor across the room three feet

29:54

from its body. My heart sank

29:56

into my stomach and I drifted off

29:58

into nightmares, feeling somehow was all over. When

30:01

I awoke, slick with sweat and

30:03

dread, she was there, in

30:05

the darkest corner of my room. Almost

30:08

willow. Nighttime shrouded

30:10

her, but I could see the blood even in

30:12

the dim light. Something glinted in her

30:14

hand under the glow of moonlight and her

30:17

eyes blazed, with something bigger than the both

30:19

of us. Twelve minutes passed

30:21

and she didn't move. Her relentless, empty

30:23

stare locked onto me as she swayed

30:25

back and forth. I

30:28

knew that the second I moved, she was going

30:30

to lunge. Somehow I knew that's

30:32

what Mum did. That's why

30:34

the room fell into such an uneasy silence

30:36

because I was utterly alone, and when I

30:39

held my breath, I swore

30:41

I could hear the shift of fabric. Yes,

30:43

she was definitely closer to me than she

30:45

had been five seconds ago. If I

30:48

squinted, I could see her

30:50

feet shuffling towards me, in time

30:52

with my erratic breathing. I

30:55

ran. Of course, limbs jellied as I

30:57

sprinted past my parents' room, practically choking

30:59

on the stench of blood. She

31:01

locked all the doors, sealed all the windows. I

31:03

don't even remember how I made it to the

31:05

hospital. Sodden and picking glass out of my skin

31:07

as a kind nurse led me to a room.

31:10

Concern etched into her features as she promised to

31:12

return for me as soon as she called the

31:14

police. It's hard to type. With

31:17

blood trickling down my phone, fragments of

31:19

the upstairs window jammed into my flesh.

31:22

It's over, I'm sure. Somehow,

31:25

with every second that passes, I feel

31:27

closer to my sister, the real one,

31:29

not the one with her face pressed

31:31

into the third-story window of my hospital

31:33

room. Face contorted in

31:35

bloody evil. Oh.

31:40

Spooker! Bloody

31:43

hell. Spooker! You've got a lot of

31:45

child-killing stuff, haven't you? Actually, it's

31:47

bigger a wedge. It's bigger a

31:49

wedge. No, that was because I

31:51

liked that. It was very, very

31:54

spooky. Yeah, just like mimicking the

31:56

dead-willer. Yeah, not quite. Would

32:00

you like another stir? Erm...

32:03

Erm... No. No, actually,

32:05

no. Yes, of course. This

32:09

is the cabin in the woods. Oh,

32:11

I love a cabin in the woods, me. Me too. OK.

32:15

Samantha had two best friends, Jenny and Amber,

32:17

and that is the most obvious

32:20

trio of girls. Samantha, Amber and

32:22

Jenny. Jenny. Her

32:24

father was taking her on a weekend vacation and she invited

32:27

them to come along. Her family owned

32:29

a cabin in the woods, and on Friday evening,

32:31

her father drove the girls up there. Just

32:33

might I say, as somebody who now is

32:35

old enough to have children, the

32:37

idea of looking after my child and their friends...

32:40

Mm. ..is horrific. Horrific. Horrific.

32:43

I don't like children. I'm sure I'd like

32:45

mine, but I wouldn't give a fuck about the safety

32:47

of those of us. And the responsibility of having to

32:49

be like, oh, what if one of

32:51

them's an idiot and they're going to go, like, walk

32:53

into a tree and then be like, I'm blind?

32:55

Yeah, because me as a child would have gone

32:58

walking into those woods. Yeah. You

33:00

know what I mean? Yeah. I'm blind! HE

33:02

LAUGHS See that lake,

33:04

asked Samantha when they arrived? That's Lake Samantha.

33:06

My dad grew up here. He

33:08

loved it so much, he named me after it. That

33:11

night, after they'd unpacked their things, the three

33:13

girls sat around and thought of ways to amuse themselves.

33:15

Mm-hm. Does

33:18

anyone have any spooky stories, asked Amber?

33:20

She sounds like a knob. Yeah,

33:22

you may have spooky stories... It's a spooky story!

33:24

..before we go to Maccans. I

33:27

have one, said Jenny. It's true as well. It happened

33:29

to a friend of a friend of mine. She

33:32

was babysitting these two little kids one night. She's

33:34

sitting in the dark by herself watching TV and the phone

33:36

rings. She goes over and answers

33:38

it. Here's a voice on the other

33:41

end who's breathing really heavily, and it says, have

33:43

you checked on the children? Jenny,

33:45

come on, Amber interrupted. Everybody's heard that

33:47

one. That's the lamest, scariest story ever.

33:50

Does anyone else have one, one that's actually true? Well,

33:53

actually, you're only speaking to one person, then. What?

33:56

When you go, does anybody else have... You're

33:58

only speaking to one person. That's

34:00

yeah. I and I know

34:02

one Samantha said about ten minutes hike from here There's

34:05

an old broken townhouse. We passed it on the way

34:07

up here It's out in the middle of nowhere tucked

34:09

away off a narrow little side road a long

34:11

time ago A man lived there his

34:14

family were really wealthy and they owed hundreds

34:16

hundreds of acres of land The

34:18

man met a simply cut simple country girl from a simple

34:20

country town. They fell in love his family

34:22

wasn't too happy about it They didn't think the girl was good

34:24

enough for him, but he ignored them He was

34:27

an independent type of guy and he went off

34:29

and built a little house on the chunk of

34:31

their land out in the middle of nowhere He

34:38

married this girl and everything was wonderful they had a

34:40

daughter and eventually they had a son But

34:42

this is where the story starts to

34:45

go past Their son was sick

34:47

not physically but mentally He

34:50

wasn't disabled, but he was just he was just a

34:52

little bit off by the time he

34:54

was nine years old He became he became too much for

34:56

his parents to handle Throwing temper

34:58

tantrums erratic sleep patterns disappearing into

35:00

the woods and hiding that

35:02

kind of thing Not knowing what to do

35:05

about his son the man turned to his family for help his

35:07

parents had the boy taken away They

35:10

say it's him to say sign to him They

35:12

sent him to a place deep in the woods that

35:14

catered to people with special needs His parents

35:16

thought that that was for the best for him over

35:19

time. The family got used to not having him

35:21

around They gradually stopped visiting him. They functioned as

35:23

if they'd never even had a son and everything

35:25

went back to being normal again Sad, isn't it?

35:29

Eight years later the boy who was about 16

35:31

or 17 managed to escape from the hospital The

35:34

staff did a search but he was nowhere to be found His

35:37

family was notified and they were devastated. They

35:39

were worried for his safety He's been alone in the wilderness

35:42

for weeks and he was probably dead, but

35:44

the boy wasn't dead one night He

35:47

found his way back home. He crept into

35:49

his house and one by one Slaughtered

35:52

his entire family his

35:54

father his mother his sister all of them chopped to

35:56

pieces With the blood still

35:58

dripping from his axe he disappeared into the woods when

36:01

the grisly remains of his family

36:03

were discovered a few days later

36:05

the townsfolk in the surrounding area

36:08

were horrified the police tried to

36:10

find the boy but it was no use to this day he

36:12

has net what Susan

36:16

Susan just the wide eye when people walk

36:18

past that fucking thing it's petrifying me every

36:20

time to this day

36:22

he's never been found since then every

36:24

year around harvest time all right people

36:27

have started to go missing in their place

36:29

a corn husk doll would be left behind

36:32

they sound spooky as fuck

36:34

delicious mmm tamales

36:38

tamales I love tamales yeah they're in the court

36:40

they're cooked in the corn husks I

36:42

haven't got a clue what you've just said tamales tamale

36:45

it's a Mexican dish and what's a

36:47

corn husk you know when

36:50

they peeled back the like it's kind of

36:52

it feels a little bit like papaya leaf

36:55

and you peel it back and that's where the corn is so

36:58

it's it's like the outer layer of a corn on the

37:00

cob it's the leaves that enclose

37:02

the corn exactly that yeah and you can eat

37:04

that you don't eat it it's

37:06

it's like meat and vegetables and sauce that's cooked

37:08

in it and then you kind of peel it

37:10

back and then you eat it and you don't

37:12

eat the husk cuz I'm so knowledgeable yes I

37:15

don't believe you eat the husk I'm gonna have

37:17

to double check Jesus very Mexican today aren't you?

37:20

I'm just living my best Mexican life yeah which

37:22

I want to just leave me to it legend

37:28

has it the boy still roams these woods around these

37:30

parts the surrounding towns have bought into

37:32

the legend and they hanged on dolls by their front

37:34

door for protection the legend says that

37:36

if the boy sees a doll hanging from the door

37:38

of a house he will pass it and leave the

37:40

residence in peace I'm assuming that's because he's like I've

37:43

been there yeah that's someone

37:45

of mine yeah I've already been nobody

37:47

knows if it's true or not but there's a doll

37:50

hanging from the door of every house in town that's

37:53

so creepy cry Jenny do you have a doll

37:55

on your door of course that's the month my

37:57

dad's he doesn't says he doesn't believe in the

37:59

legend But we hung one just in case. I

38:02

think I just soiled my underwear, said

38:04

Amber. Oh, Amber's so... Amber's

38:06

a troll. That's classic posh girl, isn't it?

38:08

I think I just shit myself. I've just

38:11

soiled my pants. Um, where's

38:13

my au pair to clean me? Like

38:15

my balm? I was thinking the other day,

38:18

you know, if you were... If somebody was so posh and

38:20

somebody just never stopped wiping your arse, you'd never learn

38:22

to wipe your own arse, would you? No, but I

38:24

think that is, you know, a moral tale for the

38:27

upper classes. Yeah, completely true. They've

38:29

never learnt to wipe their own

38:31

arseholes. Not mentally, no. No. I've

38:34

just had 24 fucking emails come through. Fuck off.

38:36

Fuck off. It's all ads. Oh.

38:40

Um... I think I

38:42

just soiled my underwear, said Amber. Apparently,

38:44

the house is still haunted by the ghost of his murdered

38:46

family, and if you go up there late at night,

38:48

you can hear the whole thing take place all

38:50

over again. Oh. Sure,

38:53

said... Do you

38:55

think we should go up there? Jenny asked. Sure,

38:57

said Samantha, but tomorrow, during the day, there's no

38:59

sense in attempting fate. That's clever.

39:01

Mm. That night, the

39:04

girls slept in the same room and huddled together, trying to

39:06

pretend that they weren't frightened by the story and

39:08

expecting to hear something tapping... at

39:11

the window at any moment. The

39:13

next morning, Samantha's father made them all a big breakfast and

39:15

they went down to the lake for a swim. Around

39:18

noon, they decided to make the trip up to

39:20

the old haunted house. When they

39:22

got there, the girls sensed an eerie presence in

39:24

the old dilapidated place. It was

39:26

enough to make their skin crawl. They explored the

39:28

ruins of the old house peeking into corners and

39:30

sifting through rubble. After a while,

39:32

Samantha spotted something half-buried in the dirt. It was

39:34

some kind of book. She

39:36

dug it off and dusted it. She took it off. Fuck

39:40

me. She took it out and just... Mm. She

39:42

dug it out and dusted it off. The

39:45

girls gathered around as she opened it and began to

39:47

flip through the gallowed pages. It's like a

39:49

diary or something, said Samantha. Maybe

39:52

it's his diary. Jenny whispered.

39:54

Whose diary, asked Amber. The guy. The

39:56

guy that killed his family. Samantha read aloud

39:59

as the others listened. There's

40:01

a dedication inscribed inside the cover, she said.

40:03

It reads, To my family who I love

40:05

and cherish, and who will always be

40:07

with me. September 5th, 1987.

40:10

It's been hard

40:12

alone. All they had to do was talk to me. They

40:14

could not... They... I

40:17

heard their... Oh, fuck. This is written terribly. I

40:20

hear their voices late at night sometimes. I hear

40:22

their screams. It's cold and dark. I

40:24

needed love, but they didn't love me. The medicines

40:26

are gone and I'm free, free from them all.

40:30

If they could not love me, they had to go. Dark

40:32

sleep for everyone. I hear their voices

40:34

still always screaming. I reckon

40:37

it is that bloke, yeah. December the 4th. I'd

40:39

say it for weeks. It's one

40:41

of the nurses. December

40:43

the 4th. They've stopped looking for me now. It's

40:45

okay. I live in the forest. I chase down

40:47

the animals and put them in dark sleep just

40:49

like mum, dad and sis. I

40:52

assume that's murder. I visit my old

40:54

house at night, listen to the voices. At least they talk to

40:56

me now. October the 3rd.

40:58

I left the forest years ago

41:00

and moved to a small town nearby. Nobody recognises

41:02

me. Nobody knows who I am. I hear

41:04

people telling my stories sometimes and it makes me

41:07

laugh. They all fear me.

41:10

I spend the nights in my old house. Mum and dad

41:12

still talk to me. They say they're very proud. November

41:15

the 2nd. Life's been really good. I found a job about

41:17

a house. I met a girl. She's

41:19

very quiet. Sometimes I bring her to the forest.

41:21

She likes it. I let mum and dad see

41:23

her. They like her. Today's

41:27

a great day. I have a baby and I'm

41:29

so happy. Mum and dad are grandparents now. My

41:31

wife isn't doing so well. It was

41:33

hard for her. She might not make it. Maybe she'll

41:35

go into a dark sleep so I'll be really happy

41:37

then. August

41:40

the 13th. I'm so proud of my child.

41:42

She's just like me except so

41:44

much smarter. She has no problems, doesn't hear the

41:46

voices. She goes to school and has lots of

41:48

friends. Not like me. Sometimes I take

41:50

her to the woods. I love her so much. I named her

41:53

after the lake. Samantha. Fuck.

41:58

For a few moments after Samantha stopped reading there was

42:00

a silence. What

42:02

the heck? Cry Jenny. He

42:04

made them breakfast this morning. He made them

42:06

breakfast. Breckfast. Hash browns.

42:08

I had them with some pancakes and

42:10

not like sausages. I

42:12

wouldn't want sausages off a serial killer.

42:16

Samantha is this some sort of joke Amber asked? Couldn't

42:19

possibly be. Just then they heard

42:21

the sound of Twig snapping behind them. When

42:24

they turned around they saw Samantha's father standing

42:26

there. There

42:28

was a strange pained look on his face and he

42:30

was holding an axe in his hands. You

42:33

weren't supposed to find that he said.

42:35

There's no other way now. Dark sleep

42:37

for everyone. Why

42:40

did he...Why Barry...You fucking

42:43

diary in a bit of... Oh yeah that was stupid as

42:45

fuck. Put it in a locked box. What are you doing?

42:47

You're not supposed to find that out in the woods. For

42:50

everyone to see. Fuck.

42:52

He wanted...He's got murder on the mind. He

42:54

wanted it to be found isn't he? No

42:58

Taz. Samantha screamed.

43:00

Noooooo! When

43:03

Samantha's father finished chopping up the bodies he

43:05

put the pieces in large black bags and

43:07

buried them in the woods so deep that

43:10

no one would ever find them. Now they

43:12

could be together forever. I'll watch

43:14

over you now. He mumbled as he patted

43:16

down the earth with his shovel. You may

43:18

not understand now but you will in time.

43:20

This is the only way for us to

43:23

be together. Dark sleep forever and we'll all

43:25

stay together. Oh

43:28

we need to talk about Kevin kind

43:30

of vibes. Yeah yeah yeah. A bit

43:32

late. He has had a child and

43:35

killed everybody. He's been a

43:37

murderer and I would say if you

43:39

have a kid that is like worrying

43:41

mental problems you've got

43:43

to make sure they are locked up. You

43:47

can't just lock them away

43:49

and throw that key away.

43:51

If your child is showing

43:53

murderous tendencies and listen make

43:55

no heed. This

43:57

is...I'm not talking about people who are doing

44:00

this. different from others and need additional help.

44:02

I'm talking about kids that kill animals. Yes.

44:05

Kids that are like ripping legs off hamsters.

44:07

Yep. And like chomping down on

44:09

a rabbit's ear. They are the ones you need to

44:11

be fucking looking at. For them. Get your own cage.

44:13

Yeah. Yes, put them in a

44:15

cage. Don't rely on someone else. Don't

44:17

rely on the staff of an asylum.

44:20

That's what I'm saying. It must be absolutely

44:22

gutting if you'd had a kid and it

44:25

turns out like that. This is another reason

44:27

why I'm not having control. You don't know.

44:29

You don't know. And then what?

44:31

You're always gonna be like, tell you what? If me

44:33

and you were sat at Brindisi yesterday having a bottle

44:36

of Rijaka, we'd be talking about that as well. I'd

44:38

have to be like, Susie's talking about fucking. Yeah. Or

44:41

you'd be like. Psycho sun now. He's eating a

44:43

bumblebee again. I'd be like. Yeah, I

44:45

don't know what to do. Sorry, I can't come for

44:47

more wine. I've gotta go and leash my son up.

44:49

Yeah, leash him. Gotta

44:51

take him out into the garden for a

44:54

piss. Yeah. Oh, it's

44:56

too much. And actually, oh, somebody

44:58

killed doggies yesterday. I like a doggy. Doggies are

45:00

the best. They wouldn't do that. Cool. Shit,

45:02

Jen. Shh. Something

45:05

in the woods called back to me. I've

45:08

got that as well. I love you. Yes.

45:13

Ah, a little overlap. No, go on. So you know

45:15

what happens. All

45:18

right, here it goes. I've never posted here before,

45:20

but what happened to me last weekend still has

45:22

me rattled. Are you surprised by this one? I

45:25

do. I need to get it off my chest and maybe,

45:27

just maybe someone can help me make sense of it. I

45:30

live in a small town in Montana, nestled

45:32

in the Rockies. My house

45:34

is just a few miles from a vast expanse of

45:36

national forest land. It's beautiful, sure,

45:38

but it can be incredibly isolating.

45:41

That isolation is part of why I love it, but

45:43

after what happened, it's also why I'm

45:45

terrified. Last Saturday,

45:47

I decided to take a late afternoon hike. There's

45:50

a trail I frequent, one that winds up to

45:52

a small clearing overlooking the valley. I

45:55

brought my dog, Max, a German shepherd who's

45:57

never been smoked by anything in his life. We

46:00

set off around 3pm, figuring we'd

46:02

make it back before sunset. The high

46:04

cut was uneventful, the forest was serene and

46:06

the only sounds were the rustling of leaves

46:08

and the occasional chirping of birds. Max

46:11

was his usual self, darting ahead and then circling back

46:13

to me. It was perfect, exactly why

46:16

I moved out here. When we

46:18

reached the clearing I sat down on a fallen log to

46:20

catch my breath and enjoy the view. Max

46:22

was sniffing around but after a few minutes he

46:25

froze. He was staring at the tree line

46:27

on the opposite side of the clearing. His

46:29

ears perked up and his body tense. What's

46:31

up boy? I asked, trying to see what he

46:33

was looking at. That's when I noticed it.

46:36

At first it was just a shadow moving between

46:38

the trees. I squinted thinking maybe

46:40

it was a deer or something but then it

46:42

stepped out into the clearing. It

46:46

looked like a person but not

46:48

quite. It was tall and gaunt with

46:50

limbs that seemed too long for its body. Its

46:52

skin was pale, almost grey in its eyes.

46:55

Its eyes were completely black.

47:00

Max, fuck, fuck. Max

47:02

started growling. A

47:05

low menacing sound that I'd never heard

47:07

from him before. That's

47:10

good. The figure took a step forward

47:12

and that's when I noticed it was

47:14

mimicking my movements from earlier. Almost

47:17

like it was replaying a tape of me. Almost

47:20

like it was replaying a tape of me walking. Then

47:22

it spoke. Max

47:25

what's up boy? The

47:28

voice was mine. Exactly mine. I

47:31

felt a chill run down my spine and

47:33

Max started barking furiously. The figure stopped tilting

47:35

its head and then turned around, disappearing back

47:37

into the trees. I didn't stick

47:39

around to see if it would come back. I grabbed

47:41

Max by the collar and practically ran down the trail.

47:43

It was getting dark and every sound was making me

47:46

jump. Max

47:48

kept looking back, growing intermittently. Max

47:51

kept looking back growling intermittently. We made it

47:53

home just as the last light was fading.

47:56

I locked all the doors and windows. Something

47:58

I rarely do out here. calm myself

48:00

down, rationalising that maybe it was just

48:02

some sort of trick of the light or maybe another

48:04

hiker messing with me. But deep down I knew that

48:07

it wasn't. That night I couldn't sleep.

48:09

Every creak of the house made me jump and Max

48:11

was restless pacing around the living room. Around

48:14

2am, just as I was to start dozing off, I

48:16

heard it. Max, what's up

48:18

boy? It

48:20

was faint, almost like a whisper. But it

48:22

was definitely my voice, it was coming from outside near

48:24

the tree line. I didn't sleep at all

48:27

after that. When the sun finally came up I took Max

48:29

and drove him to town. I

48:31

needed to be around people somewhere that didn't feel so exposed.

48:33

I told my friend Jake about it

48:36

and he just laughed saying I'd been out of

48:42

the woods too long. Maybe he's right. Maybe

48:44

it was just my mind playing tricks on me.

48:46

But I can't shake the feeling that something out

48:48

there saw me, remembered me and called back my

48:50

own voice. I haven't been

48:52

back to that trail since. Every time I think about going

48:55

for a hike I hear that voice again. And

48:57

I can't bring myself to leave the house. I don't know

48:59

what I saw but I'm sure of one thing, it

49:02

saw me to the end. Snakey!

49:07

Yeah, that is. Max,

49:09

what's up boy? Yeah. Max,

49:12

what's up boy? Imagine hearing your own, I'd love to hear my

49:14

own voice. Me too actually, I love this old voice. I'd be

49:16

like, my God it's me? Yeah, I could just say. Oh my

49:18

God, why are you so obsessed with me? It

49:20

was like when I went on TV and before I went

49:22

on TV I was like, God it's going to be really

49:25

weird to watch myself, it's going to be cringe as fuck.

49:27

And then I saw myself and I was like, oh my

49:29

God I'm stunning. Yeah, you're like,

49:31

I need to watch that at least once a

49:33

week. I'm amazing, yeah God. Have you got another

49:35

story please? Yeah, I did. Because I want a

49:38

story. Mmhmm. Mmhmm girl.

49:43

A dead boy got inside our house. I

49:47

was doing the dishes when my son told me that he'd

49:49

made a new friend. He tugged

49:51

on my pant leg and asked me if his new friend

49:53

could come inside. We'd just moved

49:56

into a quiet suburban neighbourhood in Minnesota and

49:58

I remember being happy that Attica... Atticus

50:00

was already meeting people. So I

50:02

went to the front door. Sorry. What? His

50:04

name's Atticus. Yeah, Atticus Finch, isn't

50:06

it? And

50:09

I remember being happy that Atticus was already meeting

50:11

people, so I went to the front door expecting

50:13

to meet a neighborhood boy. There

50:15

was nothing, just an empty screen

50:18

door opening up to a cold spring morning.

50:20

I looked quizzically down at my son, who

50:22

was still beaming with pride and excitement at

50:24

the prospect of an afternoon playing with his

50:26

new buddy. His name's Jeb. Can

50:29

he come in? Jeb! Buddy,

50:33

there's nobody there, I said to him.

50:36

Atticus's face immediately pulled down

50:38

in an undignified frown. He's

50:40

right there, Atticus pointed. My

50:43

grin only irritated him further. He is,

50:45

though, Atticus insisted. I

50:47

humored him, nothing, just balmy sunlight streaming

50:49

into our house and various bugs pelting

50:51

themselves against the screen trying to get

50:53

in. I assumed that Atticus

50:55

had made a friend, as in literally made himself

50:57

an imaginary friend. I try not

51:00

to show any disappointment, because I've heard that it's completely

51:02

normal behavior for a seven-year-old to do things like this.

51:05

I made a mental note to be a better dad and take

51:07

him to the playground more often. All

51:09

right, buddy, well, I can't see him. You say his name

51:11

is Jeb? Yeah, he's

51:14

hurt. Can he come inside to play? The

51:17

last comment made my skin itch, and I felt troubled.

51:20

Hurt? A gloom settled around

51:22

my corridor, and the sunny front yard

51:24

felt threatening, despite blossoming dogwood trees in

51:26

a sky filled with puffy clouds. I

51:29

chastised myself for being afraid of my son's

51:31

imagination, but Atticus, declaring that his invisible friend

51:33

was hurt, made me start a little bit.

51:36

I eased down into my chair so that we could

51:38

talk eye to eye. Why

51:40

do you say he's hurt? Atticus

51:43

was frustrated that I couldn't understand such

51:45

an obvious concept, because his head is

51:47

all wrong, and he's red. What?

51:50

He huffed. Oh my god, like he's a

51:52

prolapse. Don't know. He pointed

51:54

at the screen door. I felt like I'd swallowed

51:56

a rock. Can Jeb

51:58

come in, please? Nobody.

52:01

Tell Jeb to go home, maybe some other time. Atticus

52:04

was distraught by this and let me know in no

52:06

uncertain terms that he was displeased and that I was

52:08

a terrible father. After his time

52:10

out we were able to recoup the day with Lego.

52:13

When my wife came home I told her

52:15

almost all about Atticus's new friend Jeb. Obviously

52:18

I left out that one singular detail. I

52:20

wrote it off as Attie's overactive imagination and

52:22

made a note to read more age appropriate

52:24

books to him in the future. Maybe

52:27

something in Watership Down had conjured Jeb. I

52:29

knew that this would be a non-starter as

52:31

both Atticus and I really liked Watership Down.

52:34

Spooky, Christine said non-committerly.

52:36

What, that's it? Spooky? Christine

52:39

shrugged. I mean, I don't know

52:41

what else to say. It's spooky and he's always been a

52:43

little strange that way. Do you remember when he was a

52:45

baby and he was always smiling at that same corner of

52:48

the old house? I did

52:50

remember. Christine never admitted it but

52:52

I had always thought that Attie's little preoccupation

52:54

with that singular corner of the guest bedroom

52:57

might have had something to do with our

52:59

expedited move. I'm not normally one prone

53:02

to fearing ghosts and

53:04

I'm not one normally prone to fearing

53:06

ghosts but I could remember many dark early

53:08

mornings in the old house where I'd truly

53:10

feel unsettled. I remember trying to

53:13

feed Atticus and he wouldn't want the bottle because

53:15

he would be staring wide-eyed at the corner of

53:17

the room and smiling. As much

53:19

as I'd tried to attribute that to

53:21

some weird little quirk in my son,

53:23

it's not a pleasant thing to experience

53:25

in the loneliest hours of the night. What's

53:29

worse is that when Atticus started

53:31

talking, he started to fear that

53:33

corner. I remember him wailing, no,

53:36

pitifully and burying his face in my arms trying

53:38

to hide from whatever he saw there. I

53:41

never told Christine this but one time I asked him

53:43

what was wrong and a much younger Attie

53:45

told me that he didn't

53:48

think the man's smile was

53:50

a nice smile. Does that make

53:52

sense? Kind of, yeah. He

53:54

told me that he didn't think the man's

53:56

smile was a nice smile. Yeah. I also

53:58

never told Christine that Attie saw

54:00

a picture of a skull in an old

54:02

history book and Attie pointed and plopped his

54:04

little finger on the picture and beamed, just

54:06

like the man in the corner. Yeah,

54:10

vaguely, I lied, but that's just Attie's

54:12

imagination. Smart kids are like that. Well,

54:15

anyway, all I'm saying is that Atticus can

54:17

be spooky sometimes. It's probably just one more

54:20

creepy phase of his because you, she pointed

54:22

playfully, won't stop reading him scary stories. Mr.

54:26

James helps him sleep. Mr. James helps everyone

54:28

sleep. It's not like I'm making him read

54:30

Jack Ketchum. She gave

54:32

me a look suggesting that I was being pedantic. I

54:35

knew she was right and resolved to concede that later

54:37

and also to read him some Narnia for a little

54:39

while. So should we just

54:41

ignore Jeb for now? I asked Christine. She

54:43

nodded. Yeah, but make sure

54:45

that you don't ever say that he can come

54:48

inside. What? Just in case I finished? Yeah,

54:50

just in case she nodded. Atticus

54:52

would wake us up. Atticus

54:55

woke us up that night and asked once again

54:57

if Jeb could come inside to play. Can he

54:59

please? He's crying and he says he's lost. Under

55:02

no circumstances, buddy, go back to sleep. I

55:04

grunted into my pillow. Atticus plodded

55:06

to my side of the bed and poked

55:08

me lightly. I can't sleep. He

55:11

won't stop crying and he's really loud. I

55:14

cocked an eyebrow and reply and he needed to drop

55:16

it. I rolled out of bed and plucked him in

55:18

my arms. Come on, bud. We'll draw the curtains and

55:20

put on a noisemaker or something. I slung

55:22

him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes, a way

55:24

he's loved being carried since he was a baby and I

55:26

took him into the hallway. Normally,

55:28

Atticus would chuckle softly while I carried him, but

55:30

tonight I could feel him shaking. By

55:33

the time I had him back into his bedroom, he

55:35

was nearly inconsolable. Attie loves

55:37

his room. It's filled with pictures of astronauts and rocket

55:39

ships and he has those cheap glow in the dark

55:41

stars and planets on every surface. I loved them. I

55:43

loved those. I want them back actually. I want it

55:46

back. Me too. I want the Milky Way. I'm going

55:48

to go full. I'm going to have a lot of

55:50

the lamps. I'm going to have a lot of the

55:52

lamps. I'm a fucking adult now. Why not? Yeah, why

55:54

the fuck not? Let's go back in time. Let's go

55:56

back. Let's go back. And

56:00

one more time. Love that. Banger.

56:06

He even made me arrange them into familiar constellations, which

56:08

he could tell you the names of, but I can't.

56:11

That's good. To me, it's the

56:13

bedroom I would have wanted for myself as

56:15

a kid, but as I tucked him into

56:17

bed, he couldn't stop staring wide-eyed at the

56:19

narrow band of window, which was visible from

56:21

behind his solar system curtains. The

56:23

room was cold, too. And by

56:25

that, I mean it felt like being outside on

56:27

a winter night. I tried to ignore it. You're

56:30

okay, buddy, I said consolingly, and I moved to

56:32

shut his curtains. I stopped briefly.

56:36

The edges of his window were lined in a jagged layer

56:38

of frost. It was a warm

56:40

May night outside. There was positively... There

56:42

was positively no reason why there should

56:44

be a frost. I grimaced

56:46

and watched the layer of frost creep across the

56:48

window pain like an infection. I

56:51

felt that same gloomy dread that I had felt earlier

56:53

in the afternoon, and I turned to look at my

56:55

son. His eyes were wide and

56:57

wet in the dim light from his nightlight. Atticus,

57:01

I said haltingly. Are you

57:03

afraid of Jeb? Attie nodded

57:05

silent agreement. I hastily shut

57:07

the window curtain and knelt by his bedside. He calmed down

57:09

a little enough for me to ask him, Why,

57:12

buddy, I thought Jeb was your friend? Attie

57:14

tried to burrow into his blankets. I

57:16

think Jeb is getting mad at me. He

57:19

whimpered. I pressed my mouth into

57:21

a flat line and looked at the window again. There

57:24

was nothing for a few moments then from behind

57:26

the closed curtain came a long, slow

57:29

whistle. Oh, no thank you. No

57:32

thanks, girl. It

57:34

was a pathetic, mournful sound and unsteady as

57:37

if the whistler were only just learning. It

57:39

came breathy and sharp from just outside. It

57:41

was the sad keening of something lost in

57:43

suffering. I turned back to Atticus. Is

57:46

that Jeb? My son nodded

57:48

and fresh tears welled up in his eyes. Words

57:51

from earlier came back to me. His head

57:53

is all wrong and he's red. All right,

57:55

stay with us tonight, but let's not make a habit

57:57

of it. The next day, I

57:59

discovered that... Jeb was real. As

58:02

I was rolling my trash down the driveway, my

58:04

neighbour Dan came huffing to meet me in the

58:07

street. He was a typical suburban

58:09

husband, so was I, so no judgement, and I

58:11

saw no reason why the two of us shouldn't

58:13

have been friends except that he was very nosy

58:15

and kind of grim. He stayed up most nights

58:18

reading the police blotter and generally trying to absorb

58:20

as much terrible information about our little city as

58:22

he could. Then he would find neighbours and

58:24

bemoan the state of the town. Jack,

58:26

did you hear the news? I let

58:29

my garbage can of thud into place and

58:31

waited politely to hear about the latest awful

58:33

thing. The Kroger was robbed.

58:36

Right, I said flatly. Town's kind of going

58:39

to shit, he murmured. Gets worse every year,

58:41

he shook his head. It

58:43

never used to be like this. No, I suppose

58:45

not, I said. Did anyone die? He

58:48

usually only bothered to tell me about these things

58:50

if someone was killed. Dan shook his head. Not

58:53

on that one, but did you hear about the

58:55

kid? That piqued my interest a bit. I asked, even

58:57

though I didn't want to. Kid?

59:00

Dan shook his head in disbelief. Yeah. Kid

59:03

was riding his bike and got crushed by a

59:05

drunk driver. Oh no. It happened at two in

59:07

the afternoon. Who's drunk at two in the afternoon?

59:11

Oh, and then I asked the question I didn't want to know the

59:13

answer to. Do you know

59:15

his name? Dan Blinked, surprised that I'd asked.

59:18

Yeah, it was John. I'm pretty sure it was... I

59:20

was just going to say John Edward something.

59:23

Do you mean Jeb? His eyes rounded.

59:27

Yeah. I thought that was going

59:29

to go such a different way. And what do you mean? Because

59:32

I thought it was going to be John Edward. Jeb.

59:35

But a babe. So it's not that. John

59:37

Edward, Jeb. No, because I thought Jeb's

59:39

a fucking mad, Jeb's a mad name. Jeb. So I

59:41

thought it was going to be like, have you ever

59:43

heard that before? Well, I don't know if it's America.

59:45

I was America. Yeah, 100% of America. Jeb. Even worse.

59:47

Jeb. Jeb. Jeb. Jeb. Jebby.

59:56

Jebby. Jebby

59:59

and Samantha. Jabba!

1:00:01

Jabba Tha! Mmm-mmm-mmm

1:00:06

John, I'm pretty sure it was John something.

1:00:09

Jeb? His eyes rounded. Yeah!

1:00:12

Oh, you already knew. It's messed up, right? Killed by

1:00:14

a drunk driver at two in the afternoon. Like, three

1:00:17

blocks from our house, two in the

1:00:19

afternoon. Are you okay? You

1:00:22

look sick. I'm fine. I'm

1:00:24

gonna have to go back inside. I turned unsteadily

1:00:26

and walked back inside with legs and feet. Thanks

1:00:28

for the news, though. A cursory

1:00:30

internet search revealed that indeed a young

1:00:33

boy had been crushed by a drunk

1:00:35

driver yesterday afternoon. Oh, no. I tried

1:00:37

to remember exactly when Atticus had first...

1:00:39

has... I tried to

1:00:41

remember exactly when Atticus had first spoken to me

1:00:43

about Jeb, but it was hazy. When I opened

1:00:45

up the link to read the entire article, I

1:00:48

almost retched. The article displayed

1:00:50

the mutilated face of a young

1:00:52

boy. The entire right side

1:00:54

of his face looked like it had

1:00:56

been crushed in by a terrible force

1:00:58

so that all the structure had completely

1:01:00

gone out of it, so that it looked

1:01:02

like a wet bag of raw meat and hay. Oh!

1:01:05

His bloodied right eye peered dolfully out

1:01:07

from where I thought his cheek should

1:01:09

have been, and his mouth was torn

1:01:11

into a lipless grimace where the road

1:01:13

had burned off the lower half of

1:01:15

his face. Jeb's left eye,

1:01:17

however, stared out at the

1:01:20

viewer with twinkling menace and intelligence. In

1:01:23

that moment, I was certain that Jeb was looking

1:01:25

at me from my computer monitor. I

1:01:28

jerked back from my monitor. I was offended

1:01:30

for Jeb, who, in their tasteless desire for

1:01:32

page views, had decided it was appropriate to

1:01:34

put that image on their website. I slammed

1:01:36

my laptop closed and left the room. I

1:01:39

even considered calling the local paper to voice my

1:01:41

disgust to their editor. I resolved to do this,

1:01:44

and when I returned to the webpage a few

1:01:46

hours later, the image displayed was a school picture

1:01:48

of a smiling young boy with dark brown hair and

1:01:50

a gap-toothed grin. In the moment, I

1:01:53

had reasoned that they must have changed it out of

1:01:55

respect. Things didn't

1:01:57

get better. Atticus became more and more

1:01:59

withdrawn. No longer asked me if Jeb

1:02:01

could come inside to play. He avoided the subject

1:02:03

pointedly, and when I asked the next day if

1:02:06

Jeb still wanted to come inside, Atty

1:02:08

just flattened his mouth and refused to answer. That

1:02:11

night, the whistling was outside his

1:02:13

window again. Oh,

1:02:18

I don't like that. That's

1:02:22

blowing out a candle. Oh. Oh

1:02:28

no, never again. Oh,

1:02:30

turns out I can't whistle. Christine

1:02:32

too started acting strangely. I started to find

1:02:34

thick lines of salt on all our windowsills

1:02:36

and doorways. When I asked Christine about them,

1:02:39

she acted casually. Oh, it's just in case,

1:02:41

she affirmed. You don't cover the

1:02:43

house in salt on a whim. What's

1:02:45

going on? She didn't respond immediately, but I

1:02:48

pressed her. What's going on? Did

1:02:51

you know that a little boy got killed right near

1:02:53

our house? She asked me flatly. My

1:02:55

heart sank into my stomach and I looked away

1:02:57

guiltily. Yeah, I didn't wanna scare you. Okay,

1:03:00

well now we've moved from Atticus has a

1:03:02

creepy imaginary friend to a boy matching the

1:03:04

name of Atty's imaginary friend was killed outside

1:03:06

our house on the same day that Atty

1:03:08

started seeing him. She took a breath. Something's

1:03:11

going on. Atty's room is always

1:03:13

freezing and I'm hearing whistling outside

1:03:15

the house. Why are you smiling? I

1:03:17

forced to frown. Sorry, it's just nice not to

1:03:19

feel like I'm going crazy. She

1:03:21

waved her hand. You know, you don't need to try and handle

1:03:23

all this stuff on your own. Something's happening

1:03:25

to our son. We

1:03:28

tried all the tricks. She burnt Sage in

1:03:30

the house and started calling priests to try

1:03:32

and bless us despite everything. Couldn't help but

1:03:34

feel silly doing things like that. Why would

1:03:36

Sultan, Sage and priests work? And yet they

1:03:38

seem to. Atticus didn't mention anything about Jeb

1:03:40

for a long time. And in

1:03:42

a week or two, he started to come out of his

1:03:44

shell again. The peace lasted

1:03:46

for almost two weeks but ended when I

1:03:48

heard a metallic crash from

1:03:50

the back side of our house and our

1:03:53

motion detector was triggered engaging the floodlights. I

1:03:55

was still mostly asleep when I blindly tore

1:03:57

through our kitchen to burst through the back

1:03:59

door. but I had a sick

1:04:01

feeling with what the sound had been. Despite

1:04:03

the stillness of the backyard, I knew that

1:04:05

something was wrong. The crickets and insects were

1:04:08

utterly silent and our flood lit illuminated... hmm...

1:04:11

and our floodlight illuminated the sycamores in a

1:04:13

jarring white light. The energy was tense and

1:04:15

expectant even though nothing was there. I didn't

1:04:18

bother to scan the yard but ran instead

1:04:20

to the side of the house to confirm

1:04:22

my suspicion about the source of the noise.

1:04:25

Our cellar door was open

1:04:28

and the inside latch was torn apart

1:04:30

and hanging uselessly. I had an unobstructed

1:04:32

view of our basement steps leading into

1:04:34

the utter darkness beneath our house. A

1:04:39

few things happened in quick succession. First, a sharp

1:04:41

whistle wafted from the dark basement at the foot

1:04:43

of the cellar steps. Before the sound had been

1:04:45

piteous and soft as if the whistler had been

1:04:47

shy and plaintive. Now it was

1:04:50

piercing and shrill with

1:04:52

a terrible potency behind it. Second,

1:04:54

the wooden steps leading from the

1:04:56

basement to our kitchen shuddered violently

1:04:58

as something sprinted furiously towards the

1:05:00

kitchen door. Third, Atticus started wailing

1:05:02

in terror. It took me no

1:05:04

more than three seconds to get

1:05:06

to Attie's room where I found

1:05:08

he and Christine huddle together on the bed

1:05:11

with him screaming in terror. He was so

1:05:13

distraught that he couldn't stop hiccuping. Between fits

1:05:15

he'd murmur, he's so mad. What

1:05:18

did you do? We all

1:05:20

looked at each other hopelessly as the

1:05:22

temperature in Atticus's bedroom plummeted, caught together

1:05:24

in this nightmare. All of

1:05:26

us spent the night in the master bedroom

1:05:28

with lines of salt laid down in front

1:05:30

of every entrance, and a Virgin Mary prayer

1:05:32

candle sputtering on the shelf. I didn't sleep

1:05:34

a wink, I couldn't, not with the sound

1:05:36

of... Oh!

1:05:40

Tiny footsteps pattering up and down our hallway. I don't like

1:05:42

that. Um, tiny

1:05:46

footsteps pattering up and down our hallway

1:05:48

all night long. Things haven't

1:05:50

got any better. I asked Atticus if Jeb

1:05:52

had told him what he wanted. The

1:05:55

answer that Atticus gave leaves me

1:05:57

with no doubt that he's in terrible danger. Jeb

1:06:01

wants to play with me forever. Gross.

1:06:05

No thank you, Jeb. That's the end. Very

1:06:08

good, very spooky. Ugh, Jeb. Should you

1:06:10

one more? Jeb needs to be. Later

1:06:12

rest, yeah, go on. A

1:06:15

15-year-old girl named Donna lived with her father in

1:06:17

a small house in the suburbs. Ever

1:06:19

since her mother died, Donna had depended on

1:06:21

her father for everything. They

1:06:24

had a wonderful relationship and loved each other

1:06:26

very, very much. Lots of

1:06:28

single dads. Yeah, I like it. Today.

1:06:31

And kids. One morning, Donna's father was leaving

1:06:33

on a business trip. As they ate breakfast together, he

1:06:35

told her that he'd be home very late that night.

1:06:38

With that, he kissed her on the forehead, grabbed

1:06:40

his briefcase and walked out of the front door.

1:06:44

Later that day, when Donna came home from school, she

1:06:46

did some homework and watched some TV. By

1:06:48

midnight, her father had still not returned, so she decided

1:06:50

to go to bed. That night, she had a

1:06:52

dream. She found herself standing at the edge

1:06:55

of a busy highway. Cars and

1:06:57

trucks whizzed by at an alarming rate. She

1:06:59

looked across the highway and saw a familiar figure standing on

1:07:02

the other side. It was her father. His

1:07:04

hands were cupped around his mouth, and he seemed to be

1:07:06

shouting something to her, but she couldn't make out what he

1:07:08

was saying. As the traffic whizzed

1:07:11

by, she strained to hear her father's eyes were sad.

1:07:13

He seemed to be desperately trying to communicate

1:07:15

something. Don't open

1:07:18

the door. Suddenly,

1:07:21

Donna was awoken from the dream by

1:07:23

a strange tapping noise. Then,

1:07:28

somebody began to ring the doorbell downstairs.

1:07:31

Ring, ring, ring! She

1:07:34

scrambled out of bed and put on her slippers. The

1:07:36

word scrambled as a description really makes me laugh.

1:07:39

She scrambled out of bed and put on her slippers.

1:07:41

Then, dressed only in her nightgown, she ran downstairs and

1:07:44

went to the front door. Looking through

1:07:46

the peephole, she saw her father's face outside. He

1:07:48

was staring right at her. The

1:07:50

doorbell kept ringing insistently. Okay, hold

1:07:53

on, I'm coming! She shouted. She pulled back the

1:07:55

deadbolt and was about to un-latch the door when

1:07:57

she stopped. She looked through the peephole.

1:08:00

peephole at her father again. Something

1:08:02

about his expression didn't look quite right.

1:08:04

His eyes were wide open and he looked terrified.

1:08:07

She slid the deadbolt back into place. Dad, she yelled

1:08:09

through the door, did you forget your keys? Ring,

1:08:12

ring, ring. Dad, answer me.

1:08:15

Ring, ring, ring. Dad, please, I

1:08:18

need you to answer me. Ring, ring, ring. Is

1:08:21

there someone else out there with you? Ring,

1:08:23

ring, ring. Why won't you answer me? Ring,

1:08:26

ring, ring. I'm

1:08:28

not opening the door until you say something and

1:08:30

the doorbell kept ringing and ringing. But for, hang

1:08:32

on, I'm gonna do that again. I'm

1:08:35

not opening the door until you say something. The

1:08:37

doorbell kept ringing and ringing, but for some reason,

1:08:40

her father refused to answer her desperate cries.

1:08:43

For the rest of the night, the frightened girl cowered in

1:08:45

the corner of the hallway, helplessly listening

1:08:47

to the ceaseless ringing of the doorbell.

1:08:50

It seemed to go on for hours, but eventually she fell

1:08:52

into an uneasy sleep. At dawn,

1:08:54

she woke up and realized that everything was

1:08:56

quiet. She crept over to the door and

1:08:58

looked through the peephole again. Her father was

1:09:00

still standing there staring at her. She

1:09:03

cautiously opened the door and was confronted with a

1:09:05

sight that filled her with unimaginable horror. Her

1:09:08

father's severed head was

1:09:10

hanging from a nail above the door.

1:09:13

There was a note attached to the doorbell and

1:09:16

crude scrawled hang directing it read,

1:09:18

clever girl. Oh,

1:09:22

not a clever girl. Clever girl.

1:09:25

What does that mean? It means he was never

1:09:27

there. Somebody's killed him and his ghost has come

1:09:29

to her in the... Oh,

1:09:31

all the murders just like crouching down and going...

1:09:34

Well, they were, but his ghost came to her in

1:09:36

a dream and said, don't open the

1:09:38

door. Do not open the door.

1:09:40

So they put his head there. So his head's always

1:09:42

been there just like... Even

1:09:45

when she first got there, she's been hanging there all night. That's

1:09:47

gross. And then the murderer was like, okay, fine. Smash

1:09:50

it. Fucking hell, man. Gross. Another

1:09:53

story. Yes. Are

1:09:58

you ready for a creep of the week? Oh yes please.

1:10:00

Crave of the Wake, Crave of the Wake, Crave of

1:10:02

the Wake, Crave of the Wake. Let's go. Okay.

1:10:06

Um, this is entitled,

1:10:08

pick me, choose me. Oh my god. Please

1:10:11

I'll cry happy tears. This

1:10:13

is from Tegan. Oh

1:10:16

I see, I'm sorry. I thought you

1:10:18

meant the story was entitled. No. And

1:10:21

I was like what's that about? But now I see what you mean. Yeah, yeah,

1:10:23

yeah, yeah. Tegan or Tegan? Tegan

1:10:25

I believe. Tegan. Like

1:10:27

Tegan. Tell us if we're

1:10:29

correct. Tegan. Tegan.

1:10:32

Tegan. What was the

1:10:34

other option? Tegan. Yeah that's weird.

1:10:37

No Tegan. No it's Tegan. Tegan.

1:10:39

Alright. Um, hey ghost huns and then this

1:10:41

emoji. Nah. Say my name, say my name Destiny's

1:10:43

Child. You can say my name is what I'm trying to say. I

1:10:46

think she's got the same chaos energy as us. I love it. Yeah,

1:10:49

great Tegan. Before I start I have to

1:10:51

tell you I'm not normally one for podcasts but you guys

1:10:53

are someone else. Oh I love that. I love that we're

1:10:55

something else. I look like I'm having a stroke at work

1:10:58

because I want to cackle but I can't. I work in

1:11:00

an office and it's usually dead silence. I always look a

1:11:02

bit odd trying to hold in my laughter. I

1:11:04

listen to your pod every chance I get even

1:11:06

when I'm in the bath. Laugh so hard while

1:11:08

shaving I cut my cooch. That's

1:11:11

amazing. I've heard a lot of

1:11:13

people say they listen to our pod in the bath.

1:11:15

That's so funny. I cut my cooch. Well it's a

1:11:17

danger. You've got to watch out. No waxing love. Wax

1:11:20

it off. Anyway, I've always

1:11:22

had a bit of a strange experience with

1:11:24

ghosts and shit like that but there are

1:11:26

a few things I remember most. When I

1:11:28

was about seven or eight me, my mum

1:11:30

and my younger brother moved into a house.

1:11:32

Right from the start it just felt

1:11:35

off. Mum

1:11:37

never let us into the front room without her

1:11:40

because she felt that there was something evil in

1:11:42

there. Me and my brother say that the ghost

1:11:44

in the house wanted to replace my mum as

1:11:46

there was never any harm done to us but

1:11:48

always to my mum. She

1:11:50

often got pushed down the stairs, would get really

1:11:52

ill quite often and she always had some sort

1:11:55

of cut or bruise on her. Sicky

1:11:57

mum. Sicky mum. One

1:12:00

night, after we'd all gone to bed, my brother

1:12:02

snuck into my room so we could stay up

1:12:04

later, which was a usual thing for us. I

1:12:07

was tired though, so I didn't turn over to look

1:12:09

at him and he never said anything. I just knew

1:12:11

he was in there because he did his usual knock

1:12:13

and opened the door and plodded into my room. After

1:12:17

about five minutes, I wondered why he

1:12:19

hadn't said anything. No, I don't like

1:12:21

this. So I turned

1:12:23

around to look at him, only

1:12:26

to see a little girl. Standing

1:12:28

in the corner of my room. I

1:12:31

screamed so loud. I woke

1:12:33

my brother and my mum up. After that,

1:12:36

I slept in my mum's room for the next few

1:12:38

weeks. We weren't in that house for very long and

1:12:40

we moved into the house we live in now. Nothing

1:12:42

seemed wrong with it and it was all

1:12:44

good for a while. But in 2017, my cousin passed away.

1:12:46

He was only a baby, so it was very sad. But

1:12:50

we put his blanket folded on the stand next

1:12:52

to our TV. That night,

1:12:54

our TV turned on by itself and

1:12:57

stayed on the blue standby screen for five minutes

1:12:59

before turning off again. It's done

1:13:01

this most nights since. In

1:13:03

December of 2023, my auntie,

1:13:05

who was my baby cousin's mum, also sadly

1:13:07

passed away. This was an absolutely

1:13:09

heartbreaking experience as she was one of the

1:13:11

biggest parts of our lives. She

1:13:13

had red hair and her favourite colour was

1:13:16

red. Her nickname was literally Red Deb because

1:13:18

she loved the colour so much. Since

1:13:20

she passed away, things have been moved

1:13:22

around the house. We have a giant

1:13:25

picture collage of me, my mum and my

1:13:27

brother from when we were younger and older. Oh

1:13:32

yeah, sorry. A giant collage of when we were

1:13:35

younger and older and loads of different eras of

1:13:37

life. That had been behind the

1:13:39

sofa for months. One morning,

1:13:41

I came downstairs to make breakfast and the

1:13:43

picture was in front of the dining room

1:13:45

door. It was only me and

1:13:47

my boyfriend home and he didn't even know about it. I

1:13:49

shat myself and called him down to ask if he'd moved

1:13:52

it but he was adamant he hadn't and was just as

1:13:54

scared as I was. Last

1:13:56

night, I got upset about my auntie and decided to write her

1:13:58

a message. While I was

1:14:00

writing it and crying, my own TV light

1:14:02

started to flash. It's red and I'd

1:14:05

lost the remote ages ago, so I haven't been able to

1:14:07

turn it on for ages. It flashed

1:14:09

for a few seconds and as I pulled my phone

1:14:11

out to film it, it stopped. That

1:14:13

was definitely her way of telling me she's

1:14:15

okay. Wow. I also got very

1:14:18

ill one time and started hallucinating and I saw Michael

1:14:20

Jackson crawl up my stairs. Fuck. That

1:14:23

is so much more terrifying. And run into my room

1:14:25

and now I have a crippling fear of MJ. Well,

1:14:28

who hasn't? I mean, that is so- Not

1:14:31

you, you love Earth song. I do love Earth song. Ah.

1:14:35

Ah. What about animals?

1:14:37

What about them? What about animals? Is

1:14:39

that what he says? Yeah. What about elephants?

1:14:42

Oh, on a- Is that a lyric? What

1:14:44

about children dying? What about them? Oh, I

1:14:46

don't think I like it anymore. Oh, I

1:14:48

love it. Those lyrics are really bad. Literally.

1:14:50

I like that. Huh? Huh?

1:14:53

I like that bit. Ooh. Yeah,

1:14:56

I don't like the lyrics. What about elephants? Is it hardly

1:14:59

gonna make it into the fucking- What

1:15:01

about elephants? What about

1:15:03

elephants? Anyway. How

1:15:06

it laureates me. Honestly. What

1:15:08

about the elephants? What about them? Thank

1:15:11

you. Anyway, hilarious. Although the

1:15:13

idea of Michael Jackson crawling up

1:15:15

the stairs and running into- Ah,

1:15:17

no. Anyway, sorry

1:15:20

this is so long. I can never tell a short

1:15:22

story. Thank you for always making me laugh. I love

1:15:24

your pod. PS, please ignore the stupid emojis in my

1:15:26

name. I've tried to change them so many times it's

1:15:28

unreal. I was going through a baby gay phase in

1:15:30

2020 and I thought I was the shit. I

1:15:33

was in fact not the shit. I know Hannah

1:15:35

won't judge me though because she's an inclusive queen.

1:15:38

I am. Love you guys. Tegan, sorry.

1:15:40

I am, I am. Tegan, excuse me. Now

1:15:42

I'm the one that carries the inclusivity here.

1:15:44

Oh, for fuck's sake. You honestly got no

1:15:46

idea how hard the edit is. Susie just-

1:15:48

No, that is- Snares everywhere. No. That's

1:15:51

outrageous. As far as the eye can see. How

1:15:53

dare you? I'm being painted as

1:15:55

some like awful Tory scumbag. Yes,

1:15:58

Tory. Thank you,

1:16:00

Tegan, for your story. Would

1:16:04

you like a quick We Get Haunted? Yes. OK.

1:16:08

Well, today... Are we

1:16:10

keeping you up, am I? Having

1:16:13

a big fucking yawn? That's gone. Are

1:16:18

you ready to do We Get Haunted? So

1:16:21

you don't have to... You don't have to... Jack

1:16:24

in your emails. OK,

1:16:26

this is the thumb game. OK?

1:16:30

Here's what we're going to do. There

1:16:32

is a Japanese urban legend about a

1:16:34

young woman who has sadly died. And

1:16:36

we need to be...

1:16:42

What? Nothing to see there. I

1:16:45

think Susie's had enough, for one day. No, go

1:16:47

on. There's a Japanese thumb game. There's a woman

1:16:49

who's died. If you will pay

1:16:51

some respects. I am. Thank you. Respectful.

1:16:54

There's a woman who's died. And this...

1:16:56

And apparently, if you... So she died and

1:16:59

she lost her thumb, right? Apparently,

1:17:01

if you find her missing thumb, you get

1:17:03

a wish. Right. But the only way that

1:17:06

we find this out is... What

1:17:08

we do is we hold our thumb up, right? Yep.

1:17:12

And then we have to chance something. And

1:17:14

if your thumb turns that way, of

1:17:17

its own accord, you get a wish. OK. But

1:17:20

you can't cheat because there's no point. You wouldn't. You

1:17:23

would. You wouldn't. So

1:17:26

you have to... OK. Are you going to

1:17:28

repeat after me? Yep. Could

1:17:30

you please look a little bit interesting, thank you? Yeah. Oh,

1:17:35

and these are pronounced properly. Oi a yu

1:17:37

be. Oi a yu be. Practice.

1:17:40

Oi a yu be. Yeah. Right. So

1:17:43

close your eyes. Oi

1:17:45

a yu be. Oi a yu be. Hear our

1:17:47

voices. Hear our voices. Oi a yu be. Oi a

1:17:50

yu be. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Because I know that

1:17:52

you're not doing it in one line. You're doing it

1:17:54

after every word. So I now need to adjust. OK.

1:17:57

Oi a yu be. Oi a yu be. No,

1:17:59

no. I'm repeating after you. No, stop

1:18:01

saying it. Hannah's a dickhead. You didn't

1:18:03

repeat after me. Shut up. Oye,

1:18:06

Ubi. Oye, Ubi. Oye, Ubi. Oye,

1:18:09

Ubi. Grant our wish. Grant our wish.

1:18:11

Right, now wait for your thumb. Is your thumb

1:18:13

gonna turn on its own?

1:18:16

You're a twat. OK, well, thank you so much for joining

1:18:18

us. It didn't work and Suzy's being a rock star. Whoa,

1:18:20

it really, really went down. Can I get a wish now?

1:18:22

We'll see you... No, because you cheated.

1:18:24

I do. No. I

1:18:27

saw you go... Can I get a wish

1:18:29

for some Cadbury's Fingers? Oh, my God. Can

1:18:32

I just, before we end this

1:18:34

episode, please put a recommendation out

1:18:36

to everybody to please go

1:18:38

and get a Lindt wafer. They're in

1:18:40

all your petrol stations right at the till. Please

1:18:44

do get yourself a Lindt wafer because it's one of the

1:18:46

tastiest things I've ever eaten. Or the Rice Krispie

1:18:48

Cheats of M&S. You can tell I'm going

1:18:50

to a service station later. Oh, yeah, I can't wait for those. OK, then. We'll

1:18:55

see you next week. Go to

1:18:57

patreon.com/ghost tons for more content. Bye!

1:19:01

Ciao! Ciao! Ciao!