I believe that people are lessons. As people we put a major value on the importance of people in our lives. We get close to them and believe that they are always going to be there. Sometimes we wonder why they are in our lives, other times we just enjoy their company. Sometimes we meet amazing people who we believe that are going to stay forever, we never see the end. So when friendships or relationships end we wonder what we did wrong or hate the person for anything they’ve caused. Sometimes we wallow in the fact that it ended instead of what we have gained from the experience. I gained this belief through my 10th grade boyfriend. I honestly thought I was in love, and I thought I had a healthy relationship. Looking back now I see the holes and the issues. I look back and realize that although I was 15 I was in an abusive relationship. Some days were good, other days we fought till days end. The most common thing I heard was “you are so stupid” then moments later he would tell me he loves me. I was young and naive, it never crossed my mind that I was in a toxic relationship. We all know the stories of men hitting and hurting women. With holding them from their families and friends. That is the idea we get when we think of abusive, we don’t often think about the bilitteing, the arguing and the assertion of dominance as abusive. We are not told about the boys who get mad if your skirt is “too short” or your friends with a boy or two. We don't speak about the young boys who hang up and don't speak to you because they assume your drinking alcohol when in actuality you are drinking a shirley temple. After 7 months I ended the relationship. The first I felt powerful the week following I crumpled, I cried and shook and regretted my decision. For almost a year this person was what I thought was my best friend and now I didn't have them. I tried to rekindle my relationship, but he didn’t even want to speak. It took time for me to move on and look back on my situation. After having a lot of conversations and self reflection I realized that although it was a hard lesson my ex was one. He taught me a lot of things but most importantly self worth, indirectly he taught me that I was worth more than anyone could make me feel. He also taught me that I should never give up my values and principles for anyone else. When I finally learned that lesson I started to reflect on other people who have been in my life. Each person left a lesson, something I needed to find out myself. Whether it was stealing is bad or that not everyone who says they're for you is really for you. So through these experiences and life lessons I managed to learn that all people are lessons. By me learning this mindset I am able to appreciate someone more, and not value when things change. I can continue learning about life and the people that are involved in minesBiography: Nyama Gibbs is a senior at Good Hope Country Day School. She is a student leader and enjoys participating in school events.