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Game of Thrones HBO hit TV series: Season 1 Episodes 2 – Title: “The King’s Road”

Podcast Host/Co-host: Ser Jorah Blackbar; Lezzie Stoneheart

Summary of Episode:

The episode begins with the new bride, Daenerys riding with the Dothraki and Ser Jorah Mormont saying, “it will get easier.” The scene ends with Daenerys getting help from her handmaids since her ass is sore from riding the horse, or is it from riding Drogo.

Next scene: Tyrion awakes in a dog pen to find Prince Joffrey and the hound standing idly by. Tyrion orders Joffrey to give his sympathies to the Starks then smacks the crap out him for acting like an ass.  The scene ends with Jof running away crying like a little girl.

Tyrion enters the banquet hall to find his older brother and sister enjoying breakfast with his niece and nephew.  He tells his siblings that Bran will live and we see the wheels in Cersei’s head rolling.

Tyrion: “Speaking for the grotesques, I have to disagree. Death is so final, yet life is full of possibilities. I hope the boy does wake. I’d be very interested to hear what he has to say.”

Jaime: “My dear brother, there are times you make me wonder whose side you’re on.”

Tyrion: “My dear brother, you wound me. You know how much I love my family.”

Tyrion’s apparently knows where the guilt lies but whether it is self-preservation or sibling love, he keeps his secret from all.

Next Scene: Cersei tells Catelyn about losing her own child. It’s not clear whether this is real compassion or is she simply playing a role.

Next Scene: Arya is getting packed for her trip to King’s Landing and is visited by her half brother, Jon Snow, who gives her a sword she’ll call Needle. Jon gives her the first lesson of sword fighting, “Snow also offers some fighting, “Stick them with the pointy end.”

Over in Bran’s room, Catelyn is making a voodoo doll for Jon Snow when speak of the devil walks in to tenderly says goodbye to Bran.  She tells Jon to leave and he does so after saying his goodbyes.

Next Scene: Ned says farewell to his bastard: “You may not have my name, but you have my blood.”  Yes, it is our first gay moment of the show but not the last. Later, Ned and Robert stop for a picnic while reminiscing over all the hoe’s they loved before.  Here, King Robert tells Ned about having just learned of Dany’s wedding to Drogo. As a “wedding gift,” the king suggests “a sharp knife and bold man to wield it”, but Ned is firmly against the idea.

Next Scene: Daenerys is getting pounded by Drogo while she stares at her dragon eggs; no doubt, dreaming of cutting off Drogo’s eggs in his sleep.

Next Scene: Robb Stark complains to Catelyn about being a terrible mother to Rickon, but then he has to rush away when a fire breaks out in the distance. Then an assassin creeps into Bran’s room: “You’re not supposed to be here, no one’s supposed to be here.” He lunges but Catelyn grabs the knife (and that looks super painful) and she’s knocked to the floor but the wolf comes to the rescue and tears the assassin’s neck apart.  Too bad it wasn’t Catelyn that died.

Next Scene: Daenerys gets sex advice from Doreah, her slave and a present from her brother.  This scene is totally a turn on. Later, Dany tells Drogo in Dothraki, “tonight i would look upon your face.” Drogo looks confused as Dany pushes him down and fucks the shit out of him.  She really seems to enjoy it herself.  See, she just doesn’t like it from behind.

Back on the King’s road, Prince Joffrey gets beat and disarmed by a girl as he loses his sword to the river.  Then to top it off, Nymeria bites his arm and he whimpers like a bitch.

“You’re spoiling it!” cries Sansa, “You’re spoiling everything!” The spoiled little brat watchers her prince get punked like a little princess.

Next Scene: The king demands the truth from Sansa and the liar says “I don’t know,” Sansa says, selling out her kid sister for Prince Charming. “I don’t remember. Everything happened so fast.”

“Liar! Liar! Liar!” screams Arya. The scene ends with Ned killing Lady at the behest of Cercei and as he drives the dagger into the wolf, Bran wakes up.