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loss. That's

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the BBC. And

1:32

this is... ..the

1:35

No-Show! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1:47

Thank you very much, and it has been a week

1:49

of potential threats. First, China has

1:51

been declared a threat to national security by

1:54

both the UK and the US

1:56

for targeting people's personal information. The

1:58

National Cybersecurity Centre... has issued

2:00

advice for everyone to use passwords consisting

2:03

of three random words as these are

2:05

apparently much more difficult to break. I

2:07

mean that's not advice I need, my

2:09

password is already show now there. The

2:13

Chinese have also tried to

2:15

target intellectual property and the

2:17

secrets of Britain's most successful

2:19

and best loved organisations. Avanti,

2:21

Thameswater and the HMRC helpline.

2:25

The hacking group in question

2:27

is officially known as Advanced

2:29

Persistent Threat 31 which

2:32

sounds like the latest sequel in

2:34

the Advanced Persistent Threat movie franchise

2:36

all starring Liam Neeson. The

2:39

group also has several other names

2:42

including Judgment Panda which sounds

2:44

more like a reality show. I

2:46

think I'd watch. For

2:48

all the sinister talk about hacking groups though

2:50

it turns out the basic technique they used

2:52

was a standard fake email to get information

2:55

out of their targets. And in

2:57

the spirit of public service the BBC have a

2:59

bank holiday special to help people deal with this

3:01

kind of thing. Mortimer and

3:04

Whitehouse gone fishing with a pH.

3:07

Now to your threats to democracy, Donald

3:09

Trump desperate for money for all

3:12

his various legal cases is

3:14

now selling Bibles for $60 a time. He

3:18

says he wants to get

3:20

America praying again. Apparently

3:23

unaware that for a lot of Americans that's

3:26

one policy he's already achieved. We

3:28

don't know what translation he's used but

3:30

knowing Trump you strongly suspect he's rewritten

3:33

it himself. In the

3:35

beginning God created the heavens and

3:37

the earth but they were not

3:39

so good it was such a terrible shame. And

3:44

God said President Trump I need

3:46

your advice because

3:49

nobody builds universes better than you. And

3:52

I said let there

3:54

be life. And God saw that it

3:56

was good. In fact it was

3:58

the best universe. and it only

4:00

took six days and best of all Mexico

4:03

paid for it. The

4:08

threat of climate change became more real

4:10

this week. It finally hit home with

4:13

the news that it might affect beer

4:15

production. Yes, because

4:17

apparently you can't grow hops in hot climates.

4:20

People previously unmoved by climate worries

4:23

suddenly became alarmed. And extinction rebellion

4:25

protesters are suddenly getting a very

4:27

different reaction from certain sections of

4:30

the public. I always

4:32

say you people have the

4:34

right idea. And

4:37

I love you, and I love your protesting

4:39

because you and I, we have a

4:41

lot in common. Because I too

4:43

am often found lying in the road. It

4:50

wasn't just hop growers though, tractors arrived

4:52

in London as the nation's farmers protested

4:55

about the threat to their livelihoods from new trade

4:57

deals and cheap imports. Unlike

5:00

their French equivalents, they didn't set

5:02

fire to anything. They're farmers, not

5:04

U-les protesters. And some

5:06

were slightly late for the protesters. London's

5:08

20 mile an hour speed limit meant

5:10

that urban drivers could take a rare

5:12

delight in reversing the usual situation and

5:14

holding up a tractor. One

5:18

or two tractors found themselves stuck behind a neon

5:20

coloured tourist rickshaw, gave up, went back to Somerset.

5:24

Nor were there any arrests made, because it is of

5:26

course very difficult to arrest protesting farmers because

5:29

they have two major skills. We

5:31

plough the fields and

5:33

scatter! Perhaps

5:36

the most unlikely threat came in the

5:38

form of my favourite headline of the week.

5:41

North Korean television censors Alan

5:43

Titchmarsh's trousers. Yeah,

5:46

apparently jeans are a symbol of

5:48

Western imperialism, and Alan was therefore

5:50

deemed a threat to the regime.

5:53

He told the press... I've never

5:55

seen myself as a dangerous subversive

5:57

imperialist. But he clearly

5:59

is! in North Korea in terms though,

6:01

not so much for the jeans as

6:04

for the showing you how to plant

6:06

food and grow enough of it. You

6:08

would also have to say that Alan

6:10

Titchmarsh's Garden Secrets is a slightly unusual

6:12

television programme to be shown in North

6:14

Korea. Now you think Kim Jong Un

6:16

would be more interested in no question

6:18

time, escape from the country and of

6:20

course, countdown. Another

6:23

unlikely threat came to Saturday's annual university

6:25

boat race in the form of the

6:28

risk of E. coli poisoning to the

6:30

rowers from the amount of sewage in

6:32

the Thames. You know, since we

6:34

got rid of all that Brussels red tape

6:36

that stopped us from having sewage in the

6:38

Thames. Fortunately though, in the same

6:40

week it was also announced that the £5 billion

6:42

Thames Tideway Tunnel is about

6:44

to be completed. It's also known as

6:46

the Super Sewer. Marvel films are really

6:48

running out of characters aren't they? The

6:52

new tunnel will mean that all of the

6:54

capital's sewage can now be carried rapidly eastward

6:56

which is good news for everyone except for

6:58

whoever has to open it. By

7:01

cutting this ribbon I declare

7:03

the Super Sewer open.

7:07

Oh my god it's heading this way. Of

7:14

course for all these threats it is in

7:16

the end Easter Bank holiday weekend. Some will

7:18

be relaxing, some will be doing subversive gardening.

7:21

Donald Trump will probably be going to church

7:24

and probably giving the sermon. It

7:26

is not true that I compare

7:28

myself to Jesus because

7:30

Jesus was born in a stable as there

7:32

was no room at the inn which

7:35

meant that Bethlehem was short of hotel

7:37

rooms folks and I would

7:39

have built that hotel and Jesus

7:41

would have been born in a penthouse by

7:44

my bible thank you. And

7:51

now please welcome back to the show Geoff Norcots. So

7:57

night changes the colour of the St George's

8:00

flag on the New England key and it quickly

8:02

blew up into one of those stories where you had

8:04

to pick a team. Team St

8:06

George or Team Nike? There was probably a team, can

8:08

we just ignore this and go back to watching gladiators,

8:10

but you rarely hear from people who don't give a

8:12

toss. Our politicians

8:14

quickly became Team St George. Prime Minister

8:16

Rishi Sunak said the design with something

8:18

Nike should not mess with. There was

8:20

something odd about here in Sunak used

8:22

the words don't mess. Tough words for

8:24

someone who looks like he just won

8:26

a series of Junior Apprentice. In

8:29

a political development which will surprise no one,

8:31

Keir Starmer then followed up by taking

8:34

a fairly similar stance. Starmer

8:36

is in the odd position of being someone who

8:38

genuinely likes football but also sounds like the kind

8:40

of office dipshit who only gets into it for

8:42

the big games and says things like Guys

8:45

both of our teams come from

8:47

Manchester, can't we just be friends?

8:51

Even Shadow Attorney General Emily Thornberry

8:53

went full St George telling Sky

8:56

News You wouldn't expect Nike to look

8:58

at the Welsh flag and change the dragon

9:00

to a pussycat. Well

9:02

you might after Wales went out of the Euros on penalty.

9:06

Don't at me people of Wales, it's just a

9:08

joke. Like England's chances of winning the tournament. Thornberry

9:12

becoming a flag shagger. It

9:18

sounded funny and now I have to say out loud.

9:21

Thornberry seemingly becoming a flag shagger represented

9:23

quite a journey for the woman who

9:25

once tweeted images of St George's flag

9:27

on a housing estate in Rochester as

9:29

though she'd seen a purer in the wild. Now

9:32

all of a sudden she's coming off like

9:34

a Westam fan you last saw doing cocaine

9:36

off her knuckles and hurdling ticket barriers at

9:39

Wembley Stadium. So

9:41

this was Team St George, a motley

9:43

collection of football fans, patriots and

9:45

opportunist politicians. Team Nike

9:48

on the other hand were the

9:50

usual coalition of progressive anti-establishment types

9:52

who balk at any sign of

9:54

patriotism. The kind of people who

9:57

tell you that actually St George

9:59

doesn't actually come from England he

10:01

actually grew up in Turkey actually.

10:04

I'm going to go out on a limb

10:06

and say that the average England fan wearing a

10:08

sombrero eating a chicken bawlty pie and drinking sangria

10:10

doesn't really care where something was originally from and

10:12

to be fair there's nothing more English than going

10:15

to Turkey. St George was

10:17

probably getting his teeth done. Some

10:21

team knikers pointed out not entirely unreasonably that

10:23

this wasn't the first time the St George's

10:25

cross design had been tinkered with. So why

10:28

did it kick off so badly last week?

10:30

Well perhaps the public have become increasingly wary

10:32

of how modern brands drum up free publicity.

10:35

Progressive stances have become an easy way

10:37

of getting coverage by dividing us into

10:39

teams. There are enough recent examples of

10:41

corporate hypocrisy for us to have become

10:43

a bit suspicious of any company claiming

10:46

to be simply modernizers or the good

10:48

guys. There's a Virgin Atlantic ad running

10:50

and they use the lyrics I am what I am.

10:52

You might have seen it. Have you seen it?

10:54

Yeah I say might in the sense that you might

10:56

have seen a cloud or

10:58

a TV format involving Gino de Campo.

11:02

In the advert we see what Virgin

11:04

want us to think is their standard

11:06

clientele. There's a punky looking lady with

11:08

face piercings, an androgynous couple. Then we

11:11

have the airline steward looking fierce as

11:13

he sashays down the aisle wearing a

11:15

skirt and some eyeshadow because you see

11:17

Virgin had proudly trumpeted their genderless uniform

11:20

policy and wanted to remind us. And

11:22

it was all well and good until they tried to land

11:25

in Qatar. Yes

11:27

the first time their values were

11:30

stress tested they abandoned them completely.

11:33

This is a Virgin flight VA

11:36

747 we're approaching Doha. What?

11:39

LGBTQ no no no that just means

11:43

let's go buy things in Qatar. Explaining

11:47

why the gender neutral uniform policy didn't

11:50

apply on that flight carrying the England

11:52

football team, Virgin Atlantic said it was

11:54

being rolled out in countries more accepting

11:56

of non-binary identities. Now I'd argue it's

11:59

not much of a moral stance if you

12:01

back down at the very first sign of dissent. I

12:04

have a dream. I know you don't.

12:06

Far enough my mistakes, Harry. Now

12:09

I'm aware that some of my grumpiness is

12:11

down to the fact that blokes like me

12:14

are no longer in fashion with advertisers and

12:16

it makes sense for some brands to skew

12:18

young. KFC always has young people advertising their

12:20

products because chicken is a young person's meat

12:23

and I don't know what I mean when I

12:25

say that but it makes a certain kind of

12:27

sense in my brain. Having young if you're advertising

12:29

KFC, you don't want to see a bloke like

12:31

me, a tired middle aged man, sitting

12:33

there killing time until he can check in at the

12:36

Ibis, nursing a

12:38

mini fillet burger just dreaming of when he

12:40

could smash 12 hot wings without needing a

12:42

gaviscon. Advertisers

12:45

trying to tell you stuff by tenuous

12:47

associations isn't new but the trend for

12:49

brands trying to make you think they're

12:51

bastions of progressive morality is a recent

12:53

development which has arguably become a bit tedious.

12:56

You end up wondering if they're like that bloke at

12:58

university who only said he was a feminist to get

13:00

off with some chicks and

13:02

me using the word chicks is a reminder of why I

13:04

never got off with any girls at university. So

13:07

how about a revolution in advertising, a

13:10

brand new way of doing things. Here's

13:12

my strategy, what are you selling, how

13:15

much do they cost and is it any good? I'll

13:17

go first. Jeff Norcott, author,

13:19

comedian and recent documentary maker despite

13:22

looking like the face of Gregs.

13:24

Thank you very much. So

13:33

you just did a whole piece on

13:35

cynical advertising strategies and also insisted that

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14:44

mention his documentary about higher education currently

14:46

available on iPlayer. Now

14:50

the bank holding weekend is traditionally when lots

14:52

of attractions and family days reopen but this

14:54

year we warned many of them will be

14:57

charging more at popular times. So called surge

14:59

pricing. Yes they're introducing this at theme parks

15:01

which already charge extra if you want to

15:03

park near the entrance or or just jump

15:06

the queues for popular rides. In fact you

15:08

can always hear the sound of people who've

15:10

just seen the prices. So

15:15

surge pricing has been around for ages

15:17

but they're not calling it that now.

15:19

It's now called dynamic pricing because AI

15:21

means it happens in real time. In

15:24

America Wendy's the burger chain already uses

15:26

dynamic pricing which they haven't really thought

15:28

through. I mean you can't use it

15:30

for fast food because it'll make the

15:32

advert impossibly complicated. Try

15:35

our new quarter pounder for just £2.99 if

15:37

you order it at seven in the morning. If

15:39

you want it at lunchtime it's seven quid. So

15:41

make it a meal deal and get frozen drinks

15:44

at £6.99 unless it was a spooky sign

15:46

up in which case it's £7.49 because our

15:48

prices now work on a sliding scale. Off

15:50

peak peak. Not especially busy but massive queue

15:52

of delivery bikes to serve first. Slight

15:55

rip off. Massive rip off. I can't believe it's

15:57

that much and at the very top end might

15:59

as well go. of five guys. I

16:02

understand the concept of surge pricing it's basically

16:05

the law of supply and demand written as

16:07

an algorithm but there's a danger that retailers

16:09

will be tempted to get higher prices by

16:11

deliberately keeping stocks low. Excuse

16:14

me have you got any baked beans? I'll

16:16

too love but there's only three tins left.

16:18

Oh but I need one of those. Well

16:20

you can register your interest today the tins

16:22

are on public view till Thursday and the

16:24

sale is at Sotheby's next week. Now

16:27

lot seven this pre-warm pair of

16:29

jeans signed by Alan Titchmarsh. Surge

16:33

pricing has long been used in the

16:35

airline industry although with the problems at

16:37

Boeing that might sometimes work the other

16:39

way. This

16:41

is an in-flight announcement the price of your

16:43

flight has just gone down as you can

16:45

see from the hole in the fuselage we

16:48

now have fewer passengers than we did 10

16:50

minutes ago. It

16:52

is interesting that the owners of Balantly Swords

16:54

are at the forefront of this AI driven

16:56

pricing. There seems to be more technology in

16:59

their pricing than there is in their exhibits.

17:01

I mean surely for all that extra money

17:03

they should have AI voices and be able

17:05

to interact. You know in the science section

17:07

the universe is absolutely

17:09

massive. A hole of cosmic

17:11

wonder which is why I

17:13

find it so strange that

17:15

all this cure of people

17:17

want to think about is

17:19

what face to pull when they finally

17:22

get to take their selfie with waxwork me.

17:26

In the politics section

17:28

education, education, education is

17:31

what you need if you're willing to buy a ticket

17:33

here at peak time. You know do the math ha

17:35

ha ha. And of course

17:38

in the foreign politics section

17:40

my fellow waxworkians it's

17:43

me W Bush US president 2000 to

17:45

2008 hey that's seven years. I was re-electified

17:51

because the United States is the

17:54

world's greatest beacon of demography. We

17:57

work on the principle of one man. One

18:00

vote, two governors. So

18:03

funny, y'all used to think I was a terrible

18:05

president. Now you've seen Donald J.

18:07

Trump. Had you like me now. The

18:10

reason for charging more at peak times

18:12

is apparently that visitor numbers are still

18:14

not back to where they were before

18:16

the pandemic, presumably because prices have gone

18:18

up so much since. It's

18:20

all about keeping profit margins up to

18:23

ensure consumers pay for the recovery and

18:25

not shareholders. And you can sort of

18:27

see this everywhere. This week a company

18:29

founded by ex-NASA employees announced a scheme

18:31

to introduce advertising on the moon on

18:34

the side of a lunar rover. Yes,

18:36

a lunar rover is the latest model

18:38

after Land Rover and Range Rover and

18:41

it appeals to a similar clientele. We

18:43

don't really need something this big just to drive to

18:46

the next crater but it looks good on the school

18:48

run. Of course the

18:50

disadvantage is that the lunar rover does

18:52

have 5 kilos of plutonium dioxide in

18:54

the engine which can raise your insurance

18:56

premium. Not if you're

18:58

insured with Mirkets from Russia where

19:01

plutonium in your car surprisingly

19:04

common. The

19:06

lunar rovers are just to start though.

19:08

It's been suggested that lasers could project

19:10

circular adverts across the surface of the

19:12

whole moon which would be terrible and

19:15

make life very difficult for werewolves. I

19:17

am changing. There is nothing you can

19:19

do to stop me. My body

19:21

mutates every time I look up

19:23

at the night sky and see a

19:26

price promise from Tesco. Of course

19:30

we need to get used to it because

19:32

these new private enterprise moon missions are not

19:34

going to be like the old Apollo ones.

19:37

NASA for example have commissioned Prada to design

19:39

the latest space suits. So it won't just

19:41

be science correspondents covering future moon missions, it

19:43

will be fashion correspondents too. The

19:46

best bit will be when the British astronauts turn

19:48

up a few weeks later wearing Primark knock off

19:50

space suits, tend to the

19:52

price. Because for all the horror

19:54

of stereotyping nations do sometimes

19:57

seem to do things that image

20:00

perfectly. This week, for example, the French

20:03

re-introduced the Paris Waiters race in which

20:05

contestants had to complete a course carrying

20:07

a tray, a cup of coffee and

20:09

a glass of water. It is so

20:12

ridiculously French. London once tried a

20:14

similar thing, only carrying a pint of beer, and

20:16

it was customers doing the running. After hearing the words,

20:18

that will be £7.50, please. There

20:22

was actually a small group of British

20:24

spectators there in the crowd in Paris,

20:27

and no one realised they were British

20:29

until one of the Waiters dropped his

20:31

tray, and they all simultaneously went... And

20:34

now,

20:37

would

20:40

you please welcome to the Now

20:43

Show, Rachel Fairburn. In

20:48

today's of speculation, Kate Middleton released a

20:50

video to tell the world her absence

20:53

from public life was due to her

20:55

having treatment for cancer. I

20:57

imagine she felt the need to

20:59

do this due to the incessant

21:01

theories emerging from global gossips. Theories

21:03

that ranged from the plausible... She's

21:06

just recovering from surgery. ...to

21:08

insane. Well, it's obvious she's the

21:10

new James Bond. No,

21:12

no, she's shacked up in Nottingham with a mate of

21:14

my brother's. Aliens.

21:19

From people I went to school with,

21:21

to a pub that I follow on

21:23

social media, I never knew that so

21:25

many had direct connections to the Royal

21:27

Family. But then again, every cab driver

21:29

in London knew the Cray twins. Oh,

21:32

yeah, yeah, yeah. Always good, mates, for

21:34

them. Lovely, ladies. Good to their mum.

21:36

You knew them? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow.

21:38

You only look about 24 and

21:41

they've been dead, I don't know. Leave

21:43

me aaaargh! With the

21:45

rumour mill in full swing, incidentally,

21:47

the rumour mill is actually the

21:50

UK's only working mill now. And

21:53

it provides jobs for pretty much everybody.

21:55

And it's brought us such memorable products

21:57

as Paul McCartney dying at the house.

22:00

of the Beatles fame to recent

22:02

rumblings about Emmanuel Macron's wife. Earlier

22:05

in the week, Kate had apologised for releasing

22:07

a photoshop photo of herself and a family

22:10

for Mother's Day. The photo

22:12

and subsequent social media hysteria led

22:14

to armies of keyboard warriors, people

22:17

skiving at work, conducting their own

22:19

investigations into how and why photoshop

22:21

had been used. I blame

22:24

the rise in true crime fanatics for this,

22:26

because everyone wants their own Netflix series now.

22:54

The celebrity world began to grovel

22:56

after Kate's address. Several well-known figures

22:58

from Owen Jones to Blake Lively

23:00

apologised for making jokes speculating as

23:03

to a whereabouts. As a

23:05

comedian, I can't blame people for getting carried

23:07

away with a joke. Nobody knew the real

23:09

reasons for Kate's absence at the time. It's

23:11

refreshing to hear people apologise, though. I don't

23:13

think enough of us do, Mum.

23:18

Kim Kardashian is currently under pressure to offer

23:20

an apology for her post. She posted

23:22

a picture of her standing next to

23:24

a car with the caption, On my

23:26

way to go find Kate. I'd

23:29

actually have liked to hear Kim's verdict

23:31

on the photoshop picture, because surely she

23:33

knows more about the subject than anyone.

23:36

It emerged that staff at the hospital where

23:38

Kate was being treated had allegedly attempted to

23:40

access her medical records. Regardless if you stand

23:42

on the monarchy, is this what we've come

23:45

to? Accessing an ill woman's

23:47

private information because we're feeling plenty to

23:49

know everything. I always feel particularly

23:51

irked when a woman's health is speculated about. I've

23:53

always felt people feel they have a right to

23:55

pry with women's bodies. You know, as a woman,

23:57

whenever you're in a situation where you're in a

23:59

situation ill you're pregnant. I'm

24:02

a childless woman by choice you know I

24:04

do like children by the way I've got

24:06

nieces and nephews and they are amazing well

24:08

one of them needs work but it's not

24:10

my problem. But I've been

24:12

offered pregnancy as a diagnosis from everything from

24:15

a hangover to indigestion I mean to be

24:17

fair if I were to become pregnant I

24:19

do think the lead up to a hangover

24:21

would be one of the causes. I

24:24

understand people feel they have the right to know

24:27

what's going on in the lives of the royals

24:29

they are after all the national soap opera that

24:31

we all pay for and in a way we

24:33

subscribe to them. I just feel

24:35

that some things can and should be allowed to

24:37

remain private until the person feels they want to

24:39

discuss them you know on a human level we

24:41

should really think about things before we tweet the

24:43

same joke three hours after everyone else does. The

24:47

thing is if you want to know what's

24:49

really going on in someone's life you know

24:51

be it the bloke next door or Beyonce

24:53

get my mates on the case you know

24:55

working-class women can tell exactly what is

24:57

happening with you from the smallest thing.

25:00

Hello oh my god he's cheating on

25:02

you isn't he? If

25:05

Kate had really wanted to make an impact she

25:07

should have left protocol at the door and got

25:10

one of my pals to do it. I can

25:12

imagine my best mate Laura leaning on the bar

25:14

halfway through a bottomless brunch staring down the barrel

25:16

of the camera addressing the world by saying feeling

25:19

bad now are you all those

25:21

lies you've been spreading and now you know the

25:23

truth you need to think on you and not

25:25

be such a snake can't trust anyone now apart

25:27

from your mum and David

25:29

Attenborough. I

25:32

think what we can all learn from this

25:34

is sometimes that privacy is allowed and most

25:36

of us need to stop scrolling and get

25:38

a hobba. Thank you. Now

25:47

this week an NHS doctor urged the

25:49

British public not to eat a whole

25:52

Easter egg in one go so

25:54

in the light of this attack on what

25:56

is basically a once a year guilty pleasure

25:59

we've asked a audience what they enjoy

26:01

eating that they probably shouldn't and

26:04

how they discovered it. What's your

26:06

secret pleasure? Imperial leather soap and

26:08

cotton. How do

26:10

you find out you liked it? Sucking my flannel when

26:13

I was little. You

26:16

probably shouldn't. Millionaire shortbread with

26:18

pound cake. I want my

26:20

menu to highlight wealth inequality. Guilty

26:24

food pleasure bacon and ice cream.

26:26

How did you find out you liked

26:28

it? Catastrophic fridge shelf collapse. Four

26:33

Easter eggs and an entire head of

26:35

broccoli. I need you something

26:37

to make the guilt go away. Thank

26:42

you very much to our audience for sharing

26:44

those with us. So this week scientists at

26:46

CERN in Switzerland have found a new way

26:49

to try and prove the existence of ghost

26:51

particles which could greatly advance our understanding of

26:53

the universe. So with more on this would

26:55

you please welcome Rachel Paris. Hello

27:01

there's actually so much that we

27:04

don't know about the universe. These

27:06

ghost particles are part of the

27:08

95% of the universe that we

27:10

still know nothing about. For me

27:13

this news story has just raised more

27:15

questions. Big existential

27:18

questions. How

27:25

did we get here? Why

27:27

did we get here? Who did we get when we stand

27:31

with who

27:34

we be? How

27:43

would you love you? How would

27:45

you do me? Are you going

27:47

to be back at peace? What

27:50

am I doing? What are you

27:52

doing? Are you called David?

27:55

Where have you parked? Are

27:57

you a Virgo? What are you

27:59

wearing? Where

28:06

are we going? Where are we

28:08

headed? Are we near the

28:11

lien? And are we insured?

28:13

What destination is it near

28:15

a station? Are you convinced that we're

28:17

all fit in your little food? Baby,

28:20

oh baby, is there a god

28:22

or a god in your mind?

28:24

Are there any sweetie? Or do

28:26

we check? Are you with a

28:28

maker? Or is it weird? Yes,

28:33

it seems likely it's us, but is it

28:35

also us?

28:38

Where is it, Mommy? Or is

28:40

it captain? Or is it a

28:42

queen? What

28:45

are we

28:48

here for?

28:56

What even is money? We'll

28:58

take your birthday tales,

29:02

please write them down.

29:04

So much unknown, like

29:06

your security code. All

29:10

of the messages leading the world

29:12

is repeating. The thought that we've

29:15

got is a tiny proportion of

29:17

smidge in a trace of

29:19

an infinite space that we live

29:21

on. The prospect that humans are

29:23

just a bit, try to adjust

29:25

a bit. This is a prospect.

29:28

We should be meaningless. Fortune is

29:30

meaningless. And for reading this, please

29:33

trust with us three more than

29:35

half. Many thanks. You've

29:44

been listening to the Now Show, starring Steve

29:46

Funke, Hugh Dennis, Jeff Norcott, Rachel Fairburn, John

29:48

Colesaw and Laura Chavin. The

29:50

song was written and performed by

29:52

Rachel Paris. The show was written

29:54

by the cast with additional material

29:56

from Cameron Locksdale, Tasha Danraj, Pravanya

29:59

Pillay and Christina Reed. the producer

30:01

of a Satabowback, and it was

30:03

a BBC Studios production for Radio

30:05

4!