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Sounds Music Radio podcasts,

0:49

Hello! I'm Andy Saltzman speaker

0:51

of the news quiz. There are certain

0:53

unwritten conventions attached to the show. We

0:55

traditionally begin with the theme tune, followed

0:57

by series of questions leading to a

0:59

final score this week. However, as you

1:01

know all conventions of Gum in the

1:03

been so I can totally right now

1:06

that are winners are Lucy and Andrew.

1:08

There. Are no

1:10

question just passive aggressive statements. And instead of

1:12

the theme tune on Going To Change or

1:14

this large block of wood into a sculpture

1:16

of my predecessor, Miles Job in which he.

1:19

Is my kid astride a rhinoceros?

1:21

Welcome to the news quiz! Hold

1:34

on to graphic. Got

1:41

a good we're going to go. Out

1:44

Change Week and we Can which protest came

1:46

to the House of Commons it a fevered

1:48

ceasefire debate. On Wednesday we have Team Convention

1:50

Rebellion against Team Just Stop Hoyle. Convention

1:54

Rebellion. We have Hugo Rifkind and really know.

2:00

The news reporter am hundred

2:02

oil. And

2:05

way I can think of us question,

2:07

who would she be seemingly impossible this

2:10

week by bringing the Conservative Party on

2:12

the Scottish National Party together in glorious

2:14

home and. This

2:16

is the cinema, guns and parliament's aims of

2:18

our own Gaza. It's difficult topic to talk

2:21

about. it's so difficult situation as a place

2:23

riven by old hatreds, generations of belligerence. Both

2:25

I truly believe in one day peace My

2:27

com to ask com and. Seems

2:31

to be this misconception that the House

2:33

of Commons exists as a price of

2:35

and Peace can like debate issues and

2:38

then take decisions right? but that's not

2:40

what it's for. The House

2:42

of Commons is a place where political parties go

2:44

to score points of other physical boss. That's

2:47

what happens. So this week the Snp proposed a motion

2:49

to call a ceasefire in Gaza. For the crucial point

2:51

is, they didn't do this because they wanted the other

2:54

parties agree with them to there should be a ceasefire

2:56

in Gaza. They did this because they want the other

2:58

parties to disagree with them about the ceasefire in Gaza

3:00

so they could turn around and boss. Has.

3:04

To do they use which is a kind of

3:06

old one and parliament's is basically bundling you propose.

3:08

Several things once someone

3:11

to save. His puppy. And.

3:13

Ago guess and you know would you

3:15

like to save this puppy and ban

3:18

abortion? Well,

3:20

no, just the puppy. Bet you can't do

3:22

that. It's both or neither and you go

3:24

on every fancy banning abortion they could. You

3:26

have puppies, Smp

3:28

proposed a ceasefire. well basically calling the Israeli government

3:30

war criminals and labor. Didn't want to call the

3:33

Israeli government will criminals. Perhaps because they didn't in

3:35

the world war criminals, but also perhaps because Kiss

3:37

on was about to be in power. And if

3:39

you're in government a working with other governments and

3:41

you just called them will criminals it's. really

3:43

awkward are so labor pose an amendment

3:46

which had the ceasefire bit but not

3:48

the war criminals bet and lindsay whole

3:50

the speaker decided to accept it so

3:52

that everyone could vote what they wanted

3:54

to vote for rather than stuff they

3:56

didn't want to vote for which is

3:58

obviously not allowed into for So

4:01

the SMP got furious because they wanted to

4:03

humiliate Labour for not voting for the war

4:05

criminals bit and the Tories got furious because

4:07

they wanted to humiliate Labour for voting for

4:10

the war criminals bit and everybody stormed out

4:12

and nobody voted at all and that is

4:14

the only reason why today there is still

4:16

a war. Just to

4:18

clarify something, are you saying

4:21

that all fetuses should be

4:23

replaced by puppies? To

4:27

a certain extent and this is how I

4:30

think we feel as a people, this is

4:32

a lot of virtue signalling in parliament because

4:34

overall this is turning into the political equivalent

4:36

of the ALS ice bucket challenge where everybody

4:38

sits their dump ice on their head, looks

4:40

like an idiot but ultimately nothing actually happens.

4:45

Andrew, you're a keen political observer? What did you...

4:47

Yeah, I mean my... From what I understand there

4:50

are two major issues here. Firstly, it's the idea

4:52

that Keir Starmer put pressure onto the Speaker who

4:54

is in his Labour party and therefore there's some

4:56

kind of collusion there. But similarly there's a more

4:58

troubling thing which is that Lindsay Hoyle did say

5:01

that one of the reasons he made this decision

5:03

was that he was very, very concerned about the

5:05

security of MPs. He's worried about mob violence and

5:07

that kind of thing. What you effectively have therefore

5:09

is you've got a Speaker of the House of

5:12

Commons operating at the behest of

5:14

far left cranks and radical Islamists. So I mean

5:16

you may as well just put Jeremy Corbyn in

5:18

charge at this point. Not a popular

5:20

point of view, I can think. You've

5:23

got a hiss there. That doesn't normally happen on

5:25

Radio 4. Because

5:28

Lindsay Hoyle said he made this decision because

5:30

he didn't want MPs to be scared and

5:33

because also Keir Starmer put the menaces on

5:35

Lindsay Hoyle. Maybe Lindsay Hoyle was actually

5:37

taking this decision because he didn't want to be scared. Maybe

5:41

Keir Starmer had him like in an arm lock. I

5:43

was just having an image of Keir

5:45

Starmer being threatening. That

5:49

idea of a leather jacket. Is

5:51

it turning you on? I've

5:54

got very complicated feelings about

5:56

it, Rhea. I've been

5:58

having this show with you for like 15 years. and I

6:00

reckon for the last seven you've always

6:02

launched into a fantasy about Kirsten. He

6:06

and I have both aged and like now

6:08

I'm thinking I'm picturing him as a sort

6:10

of tough guy but he couldn't really be

6:12

James Dean. He could be kind of like

6:15

Lovejoy, he could be in the show. It's

6:19

Lovejoy, it is. I'm looking at that and I'm

6:21

thinking do I find that erotic? I may be

6:23

quiet for the rest of the show I think.

6:25

But yeah of course it was a depressing

6:27

day and it was like a

6:30

Goldilocks situation wasn't it where they're trying to find

6:32

Daddy Bear's amendment is

6:34

too critical of Israel and Mummy

6:36

Bear's is not critical enough and

6:39

Kears is just yummy. And

6:42

also when Lindsay Hoyle apologized which those

6:44

of us who can't remember anyone

6:46

apologizing for anything for about the

6:48

last 14 years I was shocked.

6:52

But I think the important thing is is

6:54

that if they don't do something more important

6:56

than squabble amongst themselves by the time they

6:58

make a decision Mummy Bear, Daddy Bear and

7:01

Baby Bear will all be dead.

7:03

Does anyone know why even them

7:05

debating it? I mean does the

7:07

Israeli government and Hamas listen to

7:09

Kears' darmer? I think it is

7:12

legally binding on and met in

7:14

Yahoo. So a lot

7:16

of it came down to the sort

7:18

of semantics of ceasefires because when

7:20

there were key differences was there was

7:22

the SNP calling for an immediate ceasefire,

7:25

Labour calling for an immediate humanitarian

7:27

ceasefire and the conservatives

7:29

wanting an immediate humanitarian pause.

7:32

It's quite interesting the word ceasefire, I

7:34

don't want to come over all Susie

7:36

Dent here but it's actually ceasefire comes

7:38

from the English word cease meaning to

7:41

stop. Right. And the English word fire

7:43

meaning to shoot at people. Okay. Hoyle

7:48

got a lot of criticism as a result of

7:50

which, this can go to Lucy and Andrew, Torrey

7:52

MPs demanded this week bring

7:54

back what? It

7:56

was actually a very funny moment from the

7:59

Torrey game, The account to

8:01

say they hated because of his

8:03

a C to breaks it but

8:05

they can't breathe that that case

8:07

because he's currently in series to

8:09

of The Traces America. Really?

8:12

Yes. Because I have the i resolved

8:14

to ease up, say you know how is not been

8:16

in touch and then. They

8:19

gave us to go from the on the traitors to

8:21

take a little break from the banks that. Are

8:25

there understand that are like said I think

8:27

the problem is is one of the moment

8:29

from I understand is that people are accusing

8:31

him of behaving in a publicity part is

8:33

Amanda and the solution to that isn't to

8:35

bring back John Bercow who is known for

8:37

being the most felicity parts on speaker. As

8:39

you know it be like making Mel Gibson

8:41

the Chief Rabbi awesome. Sadness. Or yes,

8:44

chaos in Westminster this week. Despite calls from

8:46

both Hamas and the Israeli government for all

8:48

parties and House of Commons to try constructive

8:50

dialogue to work together and find a way

8:52

through their differences, the world is watching run

8:54

or the Usa vetoed a Un resolution calling

8:57

for an immediate ceasefire of America is suggesting

8:59

instead of ceasefire the is that with a

9:01

in the Uk parliament. as discussed, one amendment

9:03

was passed calling for ceasefire but not the

9:05

other one calling for see Spot. They were

9:07

both amended to the main bill calling for

9:09

a ceasefire none of which were actually been

9:12

in Calls for a Ceasefire. Funny

9:14

old world. The

9:17

end of around the schools all four point

9:19

oh. Lucien

9:24

Andrew, who's tried and tested method

9:26

made a bit of a splash.

9:31

Say there's a test of the

9:33

Hms. Thank god they tried submarine

9:35

charged known to missile. It's sales

9:37

but it's nothing sorry about that.

9:39

His ground surfaces on board. And

9:43

it's really on the matter. Was riding the missile. What?

9:45

He was innocent of the signs less

9:47

kind of why yes concepts as as

9:50

this test we com they what went

9:52

wrong but it was event specific alive

9:54

idea know it was concepts as know

9:56

if. I. Miss

9:59

I was minutes. go for over

10:01

3,000 miles, but

10:03

it plopped, apparently, someone said.

10:06

It's plopped, which is somewhere short of kaboom,

10:08

isn't it? It's plopped

10:11

into the sea near where it was launched

10:13

in Florida. In some ways it's

10:15

a good thing. Its carbon footprint was reduced. I

10:18

mean, the rest of the world is looking at

10:20

us and going, you haven't got a

10:22

nuclear deterrent. It's like we've put a sign saying, beware

10:25

of the dog above a cat flap. But,

10:29

you know, sometimes your missile doesn't work, right? I mean,

10:31

I'm not speaking from experience, but it doesn't... It

10:34

was stressed out, had too much shabbily or

10:36

something. But, you know, Trident's getting on a

10:38

bit. I think we could call it a

10:40

bit of projectile dysfunction. The

10:45

Ministry of Defense are failing. We should just get them an

10:47

Amazon Prime account, you know? They might not

10:49

be able to get it there in like four hours, but next-day delivery,

10:51

it's not a bad thing, it's right. It's

10:54

the crew I feel sorry for, at least

10:56

some reason. You spent like six months underwater

10:58

with nothing to do. You've got Saran Jones

11:00

walking around playing the same bloody character as

11:03

she plays in literally everything. And

11:05

at the end of it, all you've got to look forward to is a missile launch and

11:07

it doesn't work, you know? And it's like what a

11:09

waste of everybody's time being there for so many months.

11:12

And it's like, obviously it's a problem if you've got

11:14

a deterrent and it doesn't work, because it doesn't deter

11:16

people. But it's not like the Russians' nuclear bombs work.

11:18

Of course they don't work. I mean, the Covid vaccine

11:20

made your ears fall off. We've found

11:22

out over the last couple of years that they've

11:24

got whole tank squadrons, basically just big green boxes

11:26

with the word tank painted on them. So I

11:29

think we're probably all right. I

11:31

mean, also strategically, does it not sort of make a bit

11:33

of sense to make our

11:35

potential enemies complacent? Yeah, it's

11:38

quite scary, isn't it? We

11:40

don't know where our missiles are going to go. Ooh. We're

11:44

like the intercontinental ballistic missile equivalent of a drunk just

11:47

throwing punches wildly. My

11:50

favourite thing in the story was that, just for clarification, they

11:53

said when they do the test, they

11:55

don't attach the nuclear warhead. LAUGHTER

12:00

That is reassured. Yeah,

12:02

if that's the bit they were getting wrong, then there would

12:04

be trouble. And if you've got a submarine, the submarine could

12:06

go anywhere, so you can just get really close and throw

12:08

it. It

12:11

gets around Jones to lob it over every time.

12:14

I mean, because it costs a lot of money, Trident. Didn't

12:16

this cost something like 17 million? The

12:19

missile is 17 million. But

12:21

what's 17 million between defense contractors and

12:23

governments? You know what I mean? Like, Michel

12:25

Mone got more than that. Yes,

12:28

well, Britannia tried a new method of ruling the

12:31

waves this week, nuking the waves. It's

12:33

also the Trident missile system. It cost 17

12:35

million pounds, and with a complete failure, rumors

12:37

reaching us that Chelsea have now put in

12:39

a 58 million pound bid for that. It

12:43

was said that an anomaly occurred, which

12:45

is a charming term for something going

12:47

completely wrong. Where's the car, darling?

12:49

Ah, I had a bit of an anomaly with the lamp. The

12:54

MoD stressed that the missile would have worked if a

12:56

test had taken place in a, quote, real

12:59

world situation. Again

13:02

reassuring, rather than the surreal world situation,

13:04

where we find nuclear missiles at point

13:06

blank range directly into the sea past

13:09

a confused haddock, quote, that a three

13:11

billion pound annual bill melts Salvador Dali

13:13

style in the background. Well,

13:16

let's move on to another question. In

13:18

an effort to pay off his legal bills, Donald

13:21

Trump has taken to selling what? Anyone?

13:25

He's selling trainers. He's selling weird

13:27

golden, which is such a weird thing for

13:29

him to be selling, because if there's ever

13:31

a man who doesn't wear trainers, like ever,

13:33

it's like he's the living incarnation of what

13:35

happens to you if you don't wear trainers. It's like Ian Duncan Smith

13:38

launching a line of hair gel. Really

13:41

weird. And right now, in

13:43

the States, if you want to avoid looking into

13:45

the eyes of someone that supports Trump, you

13:47

can recognize them from their bright red MAGA hat.

13:50

But now you're going to look down and see those god awful

13:52

gold shoes. No, you know, you

13:54

just have to stay indoors. My understanding is he's selling

13:56

them for three hundred ninety nine dollars a pair. And

13:59

he just. got a 355 million

14:02

dollar fine in a fraud trial so he only has

14:04

to sell like 900,000 pairs and

14:07

it'll be fine and because it's radio you

14:09

can't see them but they're really tasteful they're

14:11

really beautiful and they're gonna go like hotcakes

14:13

I think you know who doesn't like bright

14:16

gold leather it's gonna go like hotcakes in

14:18

the pimp community. Well

14:20

he thinks that gold is a very subtle

14:23

neutral flesh tone. See

14:27

Trump's also releasing a fragrance. It's

14:31

like the worst person's like you can't think of

14:33

anyone you'd less like to smell like. Yes

14:36

Trump has been encouraging his supporters to fork

14:38

out 399 dollars for his shoes claiming they're

14:43

suitable for leisure fitness and most

14:45

insurrections. The trainers are

14:48

called never surrender high tops inspired

14:50

by of course by Winston Churchill's we shall fight them

14:52

on the beaches stiletto heels from the war and

14:55

the gold garish ostentatious shoes have been described

14:57

by the manufacturers as being just like President

15:00

Trump by which they presumably

15:02

mean totally unnecessary extremely costly and

15:04

completely unsuitable for use at a children's

15:06

ice skating party. Right

15:08

at the end of that round the

15:11

scores are 10 to Hugo and Rhea

15:13

and 12 to Lucy and Andrew. Well

15:18

we're going to have an odd one out round now and

15:21

this can go to Andrew and Lucy

15:23

can you pick the odd one out

15:25

from this list the world's largest oil

15:27

companies HSBC British

15:30

Gas and Mildred Preffleweight

15:33

a carer in a nursing home

15:35

in Nantwich. Well

15:38

I owe them all money. Sorry

15:41

Mildred. I think

15:43

their profits have gone up

15:45

apart from the carer who

15:48

obviously carers are overworked underpaid in a

15:50

disgrace to our society that we have

15:52

that to be so and equally bit

15:55

of a disgrace the

15:57

oil companies made.

16:00

$281 billion. Huge profits. Is that enough? $221 billion, do you think?

16:06

I mean, you know, I did not

16:08

know until this week that the big

16:11

oil companies, BP, Shell,

16:13

Chevron, ExxonMobil and Total

16:16

are known as the super majors, which

16:18

already sounds like the beginnings of quite

16:21

a tedious cinematic universe, doesn't it? Or

16:23

like someone who's been bitten by a

16:25

radioactive John Major. But

16:29

they have made it their fortune

16:31

because of the wars and stuff.

16:33

So obviously, all those profits are

16:35

going to be passed back to

16:38

the consumers and customers in an

16:41

act of the cause of their not.

16:43

I mean, it sounds like they're profiteering

16:46

from the war. It sounds like the super rich are getting richer

16:48

off the back of other people's misery. Who knew? You know, I

16:50

think we should boycott oil. I'm not going to grease

16:52

myself up ever again. The

16:55

economics of it. Right. Because all

16:57

the oil companies are making much more

16:59

money. And the Russian oil company is

17:02

also making much more money. And the

17:04

reason why they're all making more money is presumably

17:06

because people are prepared to pay more for oil.

17:08

But they're all still selling just as much

17:10

oil just for more money. And I can't even

17:12

begin to get my head around it. It's like if there was less oil, you'd

17:15

think they'd be making less money because they were selling

17:17

less oil. But they're making more money. You've got to

17:19

be careful because every time someone

17:21

somewhere says that they don't believe

17:23

in free market economics, somewhere in

17:25

the world, an investment bank dies.

17:29

I don't believe in free market economics. Not

17:38

that before the war, we were all

17:40

buying oil from Russia, even though it's

17:42

wrong, and we shouldn't do it. But we just kind

17:44

of did it anyway. And then the war started when we can't

17:46

buy our oil from you anymore. And they went, that's fine.

17:49

India and China will buy it. We went, okay, because we're going to buy

17:51

it from over here. They went, all right. And then everybody went, we're just

17:53

going to charge more. And we went, okay. And

17:55

that's what happened. And we all just sat there, like

17:57

mugs going, oh, it's cold. Except

18:00

for the government who just went, yeah, good. Are

18:02

they getting richer? They're getting richer, they are. And

18:04

then oil companies said, we're not evil, but we

18:07

are going to actually, as part of this, they

18:09

are now shutting their attempts at finding greener alternatives

18:11

to fossil fuels because the fossil fuels are making

18:13

so much money. They're like, why do we need

18:15

green alternatives? We're making the money. That's what we

18:17

do. So they're shutting those now as well. And

18:19

we're all just sitting here going, yeah, okay. Yeah,

18:22

isn't it cold? Yes,

18:24

the world's largest oil companies between them have clocked

18:26

up $281 billion in profits. British

18:30

Gases profits have also plinked up by a

18:32

cheeky few hundred percent. And the celebrity bank

18:34

HSBC has seen its profits rise by almost

18:36

80% to 24 billion. But

18:40

they haven't been at all secretive about how

18:42

they've done it. Far from it, they've actually

18:45

shared advice with their customers on how to

18:47

make a 24 billion pound profit. They've given

18:49

lifestyle tips, including looking for discounted products, spending

18:51

less in the supermarket, learning to enjoy

18:54

the sweet, sweet pangs of hunger, and

18:57

being an enormous global banking corporation.

19:00

Very good advice. Right, can you tell me the

19:02

odd one out from the

19:04

following institutions in the fictional

19:06

county of Snuttershire, St.

19:09

Sniddles Parish Church, Glitzy

19:11

Snitsy's Nightclub, and HMP

19:13

Snutterton, which is the

19:15

old one out. Oh, with the prisons, the old one out.

19:17

The prisons, I think the prisons. Yes, do you claim why? Because

19:19

there are more. Numbers are going up. Yeah, more

19:22

people in prison, fewer people in churches and nightclubs.

19:24

Correct. Are they linked? Yes.

19:27

You think they've been stealing the collection plates? Church

19:31

parishes are closing. I

19:33

think they've shut like 300 in the last year or so. So

19:36

they've been going down, which is a shame, but

19:38

especially for Henry VIII, because he created the Church

19:40

of England in it. So it's a real shame

19:42

that one of his ideas hasn't really lasted, but

19:44

divorce is still going strong. So that's good. Because

19:48

in fact, if it wasn't for him, 42%

19:50

of marriages would still end in beheading. So. So

19:54

if anything,

19:56

I think the Church is getting off easy. They

20:00

said this week that church attendance is in a

20:02

doom spiral, was all they said. And I thought

20:04

that makes it sound quite appealing, like a water

20:06

flume. A church with a

20:08

doom spiral. But also, I mean, church. A

20:10

big, great name for a nightclub. Yeah. In

20:13

the area of the innspout. In the Catacoon.

20:15

Churches and nightclubs are increasingly linked, because you

20:17

also get a lot of this growing thing

20:19

for like silent discos in cathedrals. Fun of

20:21

Catholic by birth, and Catholic churches very much like

20:23

a nightclub, because you go in and someone

20:26

pops something round on your tongue that's meant to be

20:28

magical. But

20:32

I think that's quite an instructive comparison, because I think

20:34

the Church of England's gone soft. Right? I

20:36

think that because I'm a Catholic, I go to church every

20:38

week. This year I've given up abstinence for Lent. And

20:42

I think we Catholics, we still

20:44

do the hellfire damnation stuff. Right? It's

20:46

not a carrot, it's a stick. But

20:49

people want that, don't they? They want the sort of drama. Although

20:51

the Church of England is... Do they

20:53

do the thing like, the Catholic thing that I like? It's

20:55

like a nightclub. You get to hold hands

20:57

with a stranger for a bit. No, they don't even

20:59

self-flagellate or anything. They're really boring. Yeah,

21:03

church attendances are down. I should emphasize this is

21:06

not just the tendencies in Christian places of worship

21:08

that are on the slide. Far fewer people are

21:10

sacrificing oxen to Zeus these days. I

21:12

do my bit, but there's only so much you can do to

21:14

massage the stats. And

21:17

I've never fully understood the attraction of nightclubs either. I

21:19

always found the music so loud that I could barely

21:21

hear the cricket commentary on my headphones. I

21:24

was doing it wrong. Right, at

21:26

the end of that round, the scores

21:29

are now 14 points all. Right,

21:35

a couple of stories do finish this week's

21:37

news quiz. Let's give this

21:40

one to Lucy and Andrew. Volunteers

21:42

are being sought to do what

21:44

for a year? It's

21:47

to pretend to go to Mars.

21:49

Yes. But not actually go to Mars. You

21:52

get to live for a year in Houston.

21:56

It's 1700 square feet for free. And

22:01

I think everybody in London is going to go, yeah, we'll

22:03

do that. How

22:05

do you make it look like Mars? Do you

22:08

just watch that film Total Record? Well, all the

22:10

films they've made on Mars, you know they weren't

22:12

actually on Mars. So you can make it look

22:14

like Mars. I always thought they were shot on

22:16

location. They're going to 3D print Mars. Not

22:21

all of it. No, just 1700

22:23

square feet of it, but they're going to 3D print it. In

22:27

some ways, humanity is amazing. We've invented a

22:29

3D printer that can 3D

22:31

print a replica of Mars, and yet we

22:33

can't figure out how to house and clothe

22:35

our poor. Like, what's wrong

22:37

with us? That we can do this, and we've gone,

22:39

do you want to like feed everybody? Do you want

22:41

to give everyone a house? Because you can 3D print

22:43

a house. No. Let's 3D print Mars and put four

22:45

people aged between 30 and 55, and

22:48

if any of those women are in menopause, like, good luck to

22:50

you. Good luck to you. Yeah,

22:52

I'll do that. I'll have hot flashes on one

22:54

of the hottest planets in the solar system. Yeah, send

22:57

me to Mars where I can't tell. OK,

23:00

first, PhD scientist. Mars is cold. Is it

23:02

cold? Yes. It's way lower. It's further away.

23:04

It's not. It's hot. It's red. Am

23:08

I thinking of Venus? Yeah,

23:11

again, PhD in science. PhD

23:14

in virology, which is one of the smallest things known to be on

23:16

the planet, and you want me to know about

23:18

space. And actually, if you really

23:20

want to know, my PhD was in herpes. LAUGHTER Did

23:27

you call it herpes goes bananas?

23:29

LAUGHTER Would you

23:31

sign up for that, any of you? Depends

23:33

who the other three people are. Is it going to

23:36

be Hugo? LAUGHTER Yes,

23:39

this is NASA's simulated Mars mission. The four-person crew are

23:41

going to spend a year pretending to be Matt Damon

23:44

in the 3D printed replica Martian landscape.

23:46

The job offers a prospect of a year

23:48

hermetically sealed off from the rest of

23:50

reality and all news. NASA has reportedly

23:52

received 7.9 billion

23:55

applications. LAUGHTER And finally, this

23:57

week, our final question. And

24:00

this goes to Hugo and Maria with a chance to

24:02

tie up the scores in this thrilling contest. Why

24:05

were some people this week calling for a

24:07

rotting lion carcass to be brought back to

24:09

life? Well,

24:11

okay, so, um, Lyle's Golden

24:13

Syrup logo, and if you didn't know

24:15

this, you're all gonna rush home and look at your bottle that you have.

24:18

Lyle's Golden Syrup logo, up

24:20

until now, has been

24:22

a dead lion surrounded by

24:24

bees. Mmm,

24:27

yum. Who

24:29

doesn't want that on their crumpet? Can

24:32

I just ask, because I'd never noticed this, I don't think

24:34

any of us had, no I'd never noticed, who in the

24:36

audience had noticed this logo? I've

24:38

got a few hands going, and who had no idea that there was

24:40

a dead lion? It's a barrel. Maybe

24:42

50-50. But even people who noticed it, like,

24:44

did you know it was a dead lion, or did you just

24:46

think it was wasted on syrup? Did

24:50

you know it was bees, or did you think it was

24:52

flies? It's

24:55

from the Bible. It is from the Bible. It's

24:57

from the Bible, it's because Lyle was very religious, and

25:00

so the logo is from the story of

25:02

Samson from the Old Testament. Samson killed a

25:04

lion, and then later noticed the swarm of

25:06

bees had formed a comb of honey inside

25:08

its carcass, which I don't know about you,

25:11

but sounds pretty appealing. Of

25:14

course it's Samson, if you get that stuff in your hair, you have to

25:16

cut it all off. I

25:18

love this story, though, because when I was a kid, we used

25:20

to have porridge, and my mum used to put bits of dead

25:22

lion on it. But

25:25

it's not even made by bees. I mean, it's not

25:27

made of lions either, but still, it's like, it's

25:30

the honey substitute that's not made by bees.

25:32

It's completely bee unconnected. So

25:35

the quote is, Samson goes to a wedding in the

25:37

Bible, and he says to the 30 people there, I'm

25:39

going to set you a riddle, and if you can

25:41

get the riddle, I'm going to buy you all suits.

25:44

And so the riddle is, out of the

25:47

eater came something to eat, and out of

25:49

the strong came something sweet. Now,

25:51

nobody at the wedding could get it, mainly

25:54

because it was a riddle about something that

25:56

had happened to Samson himself earlier, where none

25:59

of those people or anybody else were

26:01

there. And the

26:03

way that they finally figured it out is they

26:05

got his wife to tell him the answer. They

26:07

said to him, this is the answer. It's a

26:09

lion that you killed and then noticed had honeycomb

26:11

in it from bees. And he went, oh, I

26:14

guess you won. I guess I'm going to have

26:16

to give you all suits. And he went out

26:18

and killed 30 people and

26:20

gave them the dead suits. And

26:23

Lyle was so inspired

26:25

by this story that

26:28

he decided to memorialize it on

26:30

the packaging of Lyle's Golden Syrup. But what's

26:32

even funnier is that Tate and Lyle don't

26:35

own their sugar production anymore. They sold it

26:37

to the Americans. So it's only the Americans

26:39

now, years after they've owned it that

26:41

have gone, oh, that's weird. We

26:46

should change that. We should

26:48

change that. Lyle,

26:50

the makers of Lyle's Golden Syrup, provoked

26:52

fury by changing the oldest continuously unchanged

26:55

corporate branding in the known universe. The

26:57

much loved image of a rotting corpse

26:59

of a lion having its decaying flesh

27:01

swarmed over by bees that has brought

27:04

so much joy to syrup lovers since

27:06

1883 has been replaced by

27:09

a smoothened generic lion face. Is

27:12

this not Wokery gone politically correct

27:14

gone mad? How are our children ever

27:16

going to learn that Golden Syrup is

27:18

made by necrocurious bees out of the

27:20

rotting flesh of lions if they can't

27:22

read it exactly as it is on

27:24

the tin? Right that

27:27

brings us to the end of this week's

27:29

news quiz with the scores tied at 16

27:32

points all. Well done. Well done. Well,

27:36

I think this weekend sees the introduction

27:38

of the single European bedtime. That's

27:40

part of the Windsor framework small print that no one

27:42

bothered reading. We've all got to be tucked up by

27:44

10 30 p.m. Brussels time

27:46

lights out 11 sharp or else. It's

27:51

alive. The naked wooden

27:54

miles jump is alive. Andy,

27:57

is there any chance you could find me a pair of

28:00

of wooden trousers. Oh yes! Here

28:03

you go. Good one Sir. Goodbye.

28:07

the chair is Andy Sultman. An additional material was

28:09

written by Cody Darla, Cameron Loxell

28:12

and his mate.

28:14

The producer was James Robinson and

28:17

it was a BBC

28:19

Studios production for Radio 4.

28:36

Hello it's Zahn Van Tullikun here and I'm

28:38

back with my twin brother Chris, that's me,

28:40

in the third series of our Radio 4

28:42

podcast, A Thorough Examination. And we're going to

28:44

be talking about exercise. Now I really love

28:47

it and this has been really annoying for

28:49

me, in fact it's gone beyond annoying, it's

28:51

more like you've joined some sort of cult.

28:53

But I think Chris needs to do more,

28:55

in fact I think everyone needs to do

28:57

more. There is a general crisis of inactivity

28:59

in the UK that we should all be

29:01

worried about. So

29:04

in this series we weigh up whether exercise

29:06

really is the miracle cure for all that

29:09

ails us or whether it's been oversold and

29:11

actually lounging around is just fine. Listen

29:14

to us resolving the argument on

29:16

BBC Sounds.