I felt an all too familiar feeling well up inside me. I had been a hot mess lately. Nothing had gone right. Well at least not in my narrow vision. All I could see at that moment was black. Darkness. Sadness. Anxiety. Rage. In fact, if you would have asked me at that given moment what the best thing about my life was, I would have been hard pressed to find an answer!What causes this darkness? What sparks that feeling from inside? Is it truly my husband, my kids, or the messy house? Are the bills never going to end? Is my job as horrible as I make it out to be?

I suddenly realized it’s not really the bills or the people or the job…It’s ME! What have my thoughts been about? How often was I praying about things? How much time had I spent hyper-focused on the bad and being filled with worry?

When our focus stays here in the brokenness of reality, it is easy to see black. It seems all consuming at times. As if there is no way out. Circling the bottom of the drain only forces our eyes down. Forces our thoughts to the dark.

However, God calls us in Colossians 3:2 to “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” The world offers lies and a sense of lack. When we allow our focus to be on everything wrong with our family and everything we do not have life becomes dark. That feeling can set in and the enemy loves nothing more than to keep you in that place.

Philippians 4:8 says; “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” My self-centered, knit-picky, negative thoughts do not match this verse. AT ALL.

Opening our eyes and appreciating the good, the lovely, the pure in our lives gives eternal perspective. Forcing our eyes toward Jesus makes the dark places fill with light. Remember Jesus calls us to be the best version of ourselves……including our thought life.

Jodi Diffey

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