Remove any words that end with "n’t." If we know coaching is the language of leadership, then take these words out of your vocabulary, because they don’t translate. These words focus deeper on the problem, instead of moving toward creating a new and better solution and opportunity.

• Can’t• Won’t• Wouldn’t• Shouldn’t• Couldn’t• Aren’t• Didn’t• Isn’t• But (Negates everything stated before it. Use “And” instead.)

Managers tend to focus more on what their people are not doing and what’s not working, instead of what is. Inadvertently, by asking these questions, such as "Why aren't you going to hit your sales goals?" Their literal response is, "Thanks boss for providing me with the platform and permission to use the 32 excuses I have as to why I'm not going to hit my goals!"

How to avoid this trap? Here’s the one habit to focus on. A simple shift in language will eradicate these venomous words. Asking, “How can/will you,” is certainly more powerful than, “Why can’t/won’t you.”