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details. I saw Pete Alonso at

1:34

Madison Square Garden. And to me,

1:36

that meant, oh wow, he's about to re-sign him.

1:38

I'm going to get what I want because a

1:40

year earlier, Jeff McNeil was at Madison Square Garden

1:42

at a Ranger game. And maybe this is a

1:45

sign that Pete's going to extend. In the height

1:47

of my excitement, Sean kind

1:49

of guilted me into, well, if you're

1:51

so confident, throw your beard in there

1:53

along with your hair. Yes. I

1:56

agreed, and then it began growing. And

1:58

then I was given an opportunity. An

2:00

opportunity to beat this man Sean

2:02

Morash in pickleball and if I beat

2:05

him in pickleball It's over.

2:07

I win it and there were a lot

2:10

of ugly accusations made by some of my

2:12

dear co-workers Including Greg Gianotti Greg

2:14

Gianotti said I know what Evans doing Evan

2:17

is getting his underling To

2:19

lose for him so he can get rid of

2:21

the beard and that hurt my feelings.

2:23

Yes, it did it by the way He played

2:26

without socks or out shoes. That's true And

2:29

he was cocky when he first started I was

2:32

Why don't you just focus on winning? Well, here's

2:34

the problem It was all Gianotti's

2:37

fault because what he put in my

2:39

head is that if I defeated Sean on

2:41

that You don't hold

2:43

on what if I defeated Sean

2:45

on that February day My

2:48

dear friend Greg Gianotti was gonna continue

2:50

to spread a lie A

2:52

lie that he lost on purpose and

2:54

just to get rid of the beard

2:56

and I do believe that Bothered me

2:58

in the midst of this pickleball game.

3:00

I'm not saying it's wild law Sean.

3:02

I'm saying it was a distraction So

3:06

Gio go at yourself. You

3:08

did this to me you damn it So

3:11

I don't like that answer by the way What

3:13

you thought you were gonna win you were cocky

3:15

cuz you don't have respect for fat people. That's

3:17

what it came down Maybe that

3:19

was a part of it. That's right. Well, we

3:21

had a hard-fought game I had a big lead

3:23

and I blew it and because of that the

3:25

beard continued on Sean got to

3:27

have his a rod day and the journey

3:30

continued and then congrats a rod Congrats

3:32

to a rod and then in the early part

3:34

of March. I'm a dealmaker I

3:37

made a deal with Tiki with Sean with Lugi

3:39

and that was if I color my beard every

3:41

day for three weeks And then I

3:43

go half a beard I can just get out of

3:45

it and we did it I proceeded

3:47

to color my beard and now those pictures are

3:49

used everywhere So I embarrassed myself

3:51

for three weeks and then finally

3:54

it was revealed I

3:56

knew it all along Piedelanzo never wanted me to cut

3:58

the beard. So I left it

4:00

again for two more effing

4:02

months. But Pete said something at the

4:04

end of his message to me. He

4:06

said, you'll know when the time is

4:08

right. Well, Pete,

4:11

your team sucks right now. So

4:14

the time is right. So

4:16

here we are in late May, where

4:19

it is time to do what's best for

4:21

the Mets. And that is to cut the

4:23

beard and cut their hair. So

4:26

in order to do this,

4:29

we decided to morph Tiki

4:31

Barber into Tiki the Barber

4:33

beefcake. And I don't

4:35

know if we've got the old theme music

4:37

ready back at the shop, but

4:40

Rooda, I used to have... Oh, there it

4:42

is, ladies and gentlemen. Open up!

4:45

And Tiki puts on the

4:47

art socks. Left and right on your radio

4:49

dial. He put

4:52

on all the socks like Rooda I used to

4:54

have. And the best part

4:56

is, he's got the accessories.

4:58

Remember the hedge clippers? Oh, take

5:00

it off, Pete! This

5:04

whole shirt came off. Hoppa hoppa. See in

5:07

the muscles. He is now

5:09

putting the boot on here, I like Brutus. By

5:12

the way, Tiki looks better than Jake while my shirt off.

5:14

So now, Tiki the

5:17

Barber beefcake is wearing the Brutus the Barber

5:19

beefcake, uh, socks on his hands. He is

5:22

now setting up the bow tie. His

5:24

shirt is off. And

5:26

trust me, it was very difficult

5:29

to find the best piece of

5:31

Bruti equipment that's needed. So do

5:33

you have it? Get

5:35

it out! I looked in my garage all

5:37

day. The clippers! Where is

5:39

it? Where's the clippers? Oh

5:42

boy. Drop the elbows. No, those aren't it! We

5:46

need the clippers! It's not done

5:48

yet. Don't take that picture yet.

5:50

We lost the clippers! Before you

5:53

have shirtless Tiki with his bow

5:55

tie, we need the hedge clippers. That

5:57

Brutus used to walk around with... Get

6:00

on! Ahh!

6:05

God forbid, plus my hair with... Oh,

6:07

Evan! I cannot wait! Evan!

6:12

Alright. You will now do three last play. The

6:14

headset's coming off. Cut

6:16

my beard, cut my hair, let's get this done for you. Alright!

6:19

Brutus the Beefcake Barber holding the

6:21

clipper's blue and white bow

6:23

tie, obviously red with white

6:25

dotted arms socks. Any

6:27

traditional white summer sneakers? Evan

6:29

Roberts sitting down with his American flag.

6:31

I'm guessing, oh maybe bathing suits. Evan's

6:35

son loves his beard.

6:37

Oh, that's right. So he needs to save the

6:39

beard. So Evan has

6:41

brought leftover tub-aware. Are we ready? Assuming for the Mabelo,

6:44

he's just sitting there. Are we ready? Who

6:46

wants to see his beard? Cut half

6:48

of it! Let's go! Alright,

6:50

Brutus the Beefcake Barber has started the

6:52

cut-in. It looks like he's using about a

6:54

five and a half on the slide guard.

6:57

Hair is now flying so much so his

6:59

red hair is now hit. Evan's grailed

7:02

cup. That's disgusting. I hope

7:04

he doesn't drink it. Tiki's super focused

7:06

in with his sunglasses on. It's

7:08

starting to really come off here. We're

7:11

going left side of Evan Roberts' face. If

7:13

you didn't know his hair was red, you're certainly getting a feel for

7:15

it. It is starting to fly around.

7:18

Dan and Carteret's gonna have to duck. Here comes Tiki from

7:20

the underneath. I

7:23

know! I'm on two and a half. Alright,

7:26

proud ones to see. Okay,

7:30

I think we should take a quick pause here. We're being

7:32

told, let's move Evan and Brutus to the front

7:34

of the stage for the crowd to see. Clumps

7:38

of hair are in the tub-aware. Odd

7:40

that Evan saved some pasta in that in

7:42

a week. Hot. Here we come.

7:46

Evan is now egging on the crowd with a

7:48

partially done half a beard. His neck hair

7:50

is disgusting. Alright, Spent, if you're

7:53

listening at home, Daddy has the hair ready

7:55

for you. Now,

7:57

we need to unplug him. I don't know if he'll

7:59

still work. But here we go. I am both

8:01

pulling play by play and unplugging a razor. I'm

8:04

gonna keep talking right now because it's ready. Now,

8:07

we have a barber chair that is now set up in

8:09

the front of this thing. Bones are out

8:11

all over the crowd. Tommy's return from Stanley

8:13

Cup duties to pull Chris Collins' work in

8:16

through the slide next to me. How

8:18

are you doing, Tommy? You're doing the festivities.

8:21

Tremendous. Great. So, Tiki looks

8:23

great as always, shirt off. Evan still

8:25

looks homeless, even with half of you. But there's

8:27

more work to be done. Alright,

8:30

Tiki's out flexing in the crowd. The

8:32

crowd is electric. Watch that razor for

8:34

the oogie oogie. Here comes Tiki

8:36

now, touching face really close. Tremendous

8:38

form being shown here by Tiki

8:41

Marbell. He has full fame level.

8:43

And if you notice, he's gone

8:45

away from the five ladies going

8:47

closer to home. He's gone to a two. Full

8:50

strategy, Tommy. I think it's the right way

8:52

to do this. This chair is so long,

8:54

you can't go in one full swoop, one

8:56

full swoop, if you know what that means. Now,

8:58

Evan looks really ridiculous. Half the right side

9:01

of his face, Tommy. It looks like a

9:03

little bit of a pearly dose. It may taste

9:05

as white as my tuckus. It is? Well, that's

9:07

a disgusting image. But nonetheless, Evan's a

9:09

disgusting man. And Tiki

9:11

is so focused in here. You know, you rarely

9:13

see what it was like when he looked up at

9:15

that giant medium jumbo tron to see how close his

9:17

offender was to him. He's locked in with the ice.

9:19

I was gonna make

9:22

a pumpling joke, but I figured... No, no, no.

9:24

Oh, he's thrown to two guards. Shave

9:26

and clean! Shave and clean!

9:29

Shave and clean! Shave and

9:31

clean! He's going close to

9:33

the face. We

9:35

know him really, really red hair on the left

9:37

side of Evan's face. He's gonna fly in

9:39

all over DJ's like a ticker tipperade. More

9:41

on that three weeks from the race. Tiki

9:44

keeps going close to the vest. I

9:46

don't have a good vantage point on the front,

9:48

but how ridiculous does it look? Let's get a

9:50

crowd reaction. It looks ridiculous,

9:53

doesn't it? Some might argue though,

9:55

with half a beard, it's the best Evan's looked in

9:57

six months. I'll ask his wife

9:59

about that. You better take a break,

10:01

I don't know CPR, you're about to pass out?

10:03

Oh look, C. Prisall for a long, long story

10:05

career from John Sterling. This job is not easy

10:07

on play-by-play. Now we've

10:09

made his way to the mustache. So

10:12

now, from my vantage point, picture a

10:14

crescent move. You see half-darkness and you

10:16

see a lot of just white

10:18

light, white light. That's what I'm getting out of the

10:20

side of Evan's face that's clean. And

10:23

that beard is still puffy on the right side.

10:25

That's what he is. What's he the first to

10:27

be used to do? I'm gonna be able to

10:29

report something early then. How

10:31

am I dropping? How bad must I talk this about?

10:33

And how bad will this bubble-wear spell drop? Oh, big

10:35

time. I got a wizard that was before I passed

10:38

out. Half the front row just passed out. Now, Evan's

10:40

child does want him to keep the hair to play

10:42

with. Did you ever collect anything weird when you were

10:44

a kid? No, no, I think that's like serial killer

10:46

level, no offense. I think that's kind of odd, but

10:49

he was a little kid, so... I did go a

10:51

full year with collecting fingernails and things at the age

10:53

of 11. I was a pod

10:55

guy. Pod guy. Alright. So Tiki Barbra's still

10:57

focusing. He's really tight on the mustache. And

10:59

that can be a sensitive area for many men.

11:02

When you do shave around that mustache, the lip

11:04

does get a little tight. Tiki's sunglasses are worth

11:07

more than Evan's entire house. It does. Evan,

11:09

though, now, from the vantage point I'm getting on

11:11

the clean side of the face, with the long

11:13

hair still in the distance, he's

11:15

giving Scarecrow decoration by. Yes. It looks

11:18

like you could buy him on a farm

11:20

stand and sit off. And if

11:22

that's the case, I don't know why any crows would hit

11:24

the DJ's yard here. Evan, can you

11:26

turn around for me and talk? Oh

11:29

my God! Oh my goodness gracious!

11:31

Of all the dramatic things that half

11:33

of Evan Roberts did. You

11:36

look ridiculous. You

11:38

look patently absurd. Well

11:40

done. That's a barber, folks. I'll tell you, the

11:42

weirdest part right now is I have no

11:44

idea what I look like. Does

11:46

everybody want to see it? Sean gets to see it.

11:49

But I'll tell you what I feel. And

11:51

we did the beard, which is the most important. But now I don't want

11:53

to see it! You want to see it? God, I'm

11:55

talking to myself before I see it! It's a very

11:57

dramatic moment. I feel very naked on the

11:59

left. I do a kind of naked too. Wow,

12:02

you got the gun hanging out. Yeah, I've been kicking you

12:04

for more naked than you are. And

12:06

I have to admit something that I know it's

12:09

too late. The entire time I was

12:11

closing my eyes, I was looking at the crowd, but

12:13

I was also looking at one of

12:15

our co-workers, Tom Izzo. Tom Izzo is one of

12:17

the most underrated guys at WF, me and Digital

12:19

Guy. A great guy. And

12:22

the entire time Tom Izzo was giving

12:24

me a disapproving look. A

12:27

look of disgust and a look of sadness.

12:30

And as I started to feel the nakedness

12:32

on my face, I'm sort

12:34

of half-regretted. There's a part of

12:36

me that's sort of regrets that it's gone. I've lived

12:38

with this for so long. Well it's not gone. And

12:41

now it's gone because I can't walk around

12:43

half a beard. Why not? Six

12:46

months so long. Six months, when do you care about your image? I

12:48

mean that would be on another level if I did that.

12:51

What is it? But I'm still happy it's gone. Because

12:53

again, it's not about me. It's the greater good. It's

12:55

saving the New York Mets. So

12:58

before I take a look at what the hell

13:00

I look like, how do I look, crowd? Do

13:02

I look alright? I'm

13:04

a good...should I keep him like this?

13:08

Do you think the Mets need any

13:10

save? There you go. So

13:13

it was all for not, Evan. Hold on, it's all

13:15

for not. Oh my God!

13:19

I am a circus freak. Oh my God! I

13:21

tried to be very detailed. I tried to be

13:23

very specific. You did an amazing job! I mean,

13:26

I am a barber. You

13:28

certainly are! For those in traffic when

13:30

you do get to a stop, all FA and social

13:32

media accounts will have to picture ridiculous stuff. And he's

13:34

now swallowing beard. And he's

13:36

got the ink that's picked up off the

13:38

ocean and his hair is blowing all over his mouth!

13:42

Yeah, let's protect him. Brutus, do you know the

13:44

Heinlein? You

13:46

can't talk! You

13:48

can't talk. Alright, Evan Roberts is

13:50

now going to have to down a pole and

13:52

spring you. Ew, you just spilled it on

13:54

the other hand. You... You gotta understand, I...

13:56

You've lost perception on your mouth! I...I...I...I don't

13:59

know what happened. so you just spit out

14:01

water like a two year old. Dude, I

14:03

got a little bit of hair going down my throat. I'm

14:05

not very much used to this. Oh. More

14:07

on that later. I'm so

14:09

fucking tough. How do you feel? Uh,

14:12

I feel very strange right now because even

14:14

like everything feels off like depth perception is

14:16

pretty much off right now. You

14:19

know, here's what we'll do. Hold on. Look

14:22

at right in front of F. How gross is

14:24

this guy? What's wrong with that hair? No, not

14:26

ice. Look at all that hair. What's wrong with

14:28

the hair when I cut hair? It looks like

14:30

a dog rolled around on a couch. I

14:32

mean, it was a lot of freaking hair. What do you want me

14:34

to do? Have you not ever been to a barber shop?

14:36

Seriously, what do you think happened to the barber shop? It's

14:38

been a long time. Tiki, how did

14:40

you feel doing it? Did you get pleasure out of that? I

14:42

actually did get some pleasure out of that. I

14:45

felt like I was being detailed. And

14:47

you focused on something so important. Meaning

14:49

your beard? I wanted to make it look right.

14:53

I gotta tell you, you did a very good job. You

14:55

were very focused and very serious. You got me yelling at

14:57

me. Don't smile. Yeah, if you smile, I'm gonna cut your

14:59

lip. Oh yeah, that would have been a problem. Is

15:02

this the first time you've cut someone's hair since your

15:04

brother? It is the first time I've cut hair since

15:06

my brother. Back when we were 10 or 12 years old. Really?

15:09

So you never cut hair for your kids? Never cut hair

15:11

for your kids. Your wife never said, hey, cut my hair?

15:14

Nope, never. Wow. I'm

15:16

not that good with girl's hair. Was there any... Our

15:18

flag just fell. Let's fix that. It's

15:20

a windy day here in fact. That's why that hair is

15:22

about to go everywhere. By the way, where is my hair?

15:25

I have it in a jar. Did you guys hold on

15:27

to that? I don't know where the hell it is. I

15:29

did it. Oh, you did it. Okay, good. We don't want

15:31

all that hair flying away. Was there

15:33

any part of you that was ever nervous during the

15:35

haircutting? Maybe you would screw up. I was very confident

15:37

in that technique. Very confident in the

15:39

precision that it would make to cut this thing off

15:42

perfectly. When you usually shave, do you ever use an

15:44

electric razor or are you always like straight

15:46

thick? Yeah, I thought about doing that and making

15:48

you do that, but I thought like, does

15:50

that hair would get stuck in the razor? Like it

15:52

would actually never even wash. Would You just throw some water

15:55

on it? You rinse it off? Would You have preferred that

15:57

if I didn't go on electric? I would have actually. Wow.

16:02

It doesn't get all the fighting. For.

16:06

The heart of father of my like. I'm. Sorry

16:10

you feel doing. The playbook was ah. Good

16:12

tommy to give you much as a coma. Guys really

16:14

have the could not. Be

16:17

so he's too busy my addressing himself. a big

16:19

same issue. That and foot know it's so good

16:21

I'm ready. I see the next. That's a point. My point of.

16:23

Even better with your mom and six matches,

16:25

Get rid of Spider Man was not fully

16:28

half, wouldn't. I. Think reasonable, slightly

16:30

covered all into the other have flown to.

16:32

it's perfectly straight line for a certain level

16:34

or but as his I wonder what would

16:36

I go and take pictures of people begin

16:38

to notice and is fully straight. Or do

16:40

you think it even balance? It probably doesn't

16:42

matter. Final were cover for that sub aware

16:45

or you don't like windows down with an

16:47

open? I think it's gotta go in the

16:49

yard in the wall be I brought a

16:51

wall holders when I'm going to do is

16:53

get a shot at. the weirdest part is

16:55

like hello my says we asked the with

16:57

his his parents were poised to. A seat

16:59

of my three year old stop playing

17:02

with daddy. She's here like ah. I'm

17:04

giving him the opportune would see research

17:06

he emphasizes. Still

17:08

going to be was your blaze of this sort

17:10

of a hair and that was like it's support

17:13

I gotta say an austere to we Do you

17:15

do this anymore? As. A good point.

17:17

I'm going to get him through to Maurie. Have

17:19

to do not make it's homeowner gotten nine o'clock

17:21

Be right on Dancers are I thank you very

17:24

much. Well the next part is I get rid

17:26

of the rest of his and you can cut

17:28

my hair during the commercial break. The best for

17:30

our our guys who we to finish this is

17:32

this whole thing off but I gotta say I'm

17:34

glad we did it and I'm glad the Mets

17:37

to now turn season around. Doctoral to was like

17:39

no other course to forward and twenty foot vertical

17:41

speed which to me much as I suspect savvy

17:43

that driver go for maximum acceleration of the star

17:45

measure that. You got a short straightaway to

17:48

push from zero to seventy for the first

17:50

vertical speedway. From what about the rollbacks? Rollback

17:52

Of such your for an explosive reverse climb.

17:54

Four Hundred Twenty three, This guy. Zero. Zero.

17:56

Geez. In total weightlessness, Four hundred twenty feet

17:58

of straight up speed. Let's get it.

18:01

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