0:00

This is the Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well podcast. I'm

0:02

Lisa Salsbury. And this is episode 87.

0:05

Stop obsessing over everything

0:07

you eat. Welcome

0:12

to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast

0:14

for women who want to lose weight, but are tired

0:17

of counting and calculating all the food.

0:19

I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury. I'm

0:21

a certified health and weight loss coach and life

0:23

coach, and most importantly a recovered

0:26

chronic dieter. I'll teach you

0:28

to figure out why you are eating when you aren't

0:30

hungry, instead of worrying so much about

0:32

what you are eating. Hi,

0:37

thanks for tuning in today. It

0:39

is warming up here yesterday being

0:42

the first day of spring. So where I live in Northern

0:44

California. It follows the seasons

0:46

pretty closely. So we've got all the blossoms

0:49

going and had lots of rain the past couple

0:51

of months. So it's really green here.

0:53

I'm wearing a cute jumpsuit today at

0:55

short sleeve. And it's reminded me of

0:58

a post I put up on Instagram ages go.

1:00

And I said, I never regret the

1:02

ridiculously large amount of water. I drink.

1:05

Until I wear a jumpsuit. Seriously,

1:08

the amount of work to go to the bathroom, especially

1:10

today, since I'm also wearing a little sweater

1:12

over the top of the jumpsuit. So

1:15

yeah, nothing like getting completely undressed,

1:17

like I'm a toddler to use the bathroom. But

1:20

I'm still drain on. I'm about to 80 ounces

1:22

today and it's about three o'clock

1:25

when I'm recording. Incidentally.

1:27

I do like to front-load my day with water,

1:29

because if I'm trying to catch up in the evening,

1:31

then I find I wake up in the night to have to use

1:33

the bathroom. And if there's anything,

1:35

I hate more than going to the bathroom on days

1:38

when I'm wearing a jumpsuit, it's having

1:40

to get up in the night to use the bathroom. So

1:42

I'm pretty careful about that. Anyway,

1:44

just a side note there today. I actually want to talk

1:46

to you about a topic that was requested

1:48

in my content survey that went out

1:51

at the beginning of this year. I

1:53

asked this question, what's your number

1:55

one, weight loss or health-related headache. You wish

1:57

you could snap your fingers and make, go away.

2:00

And this answer caught my eye today.

2:03

She said to stop obsessing

2:05

over everything. I eat I E.

2:07

Is it the healthiest? Is it what I should

2:10

eat right now? Will this cause me to

2:12

feel sick and so on. This

2:15

is actually near and dear to my heart because the

2:17

first freebie like free ebook I

2:19

wrote was called drop the obsession and

2:21

the weight in it. I discuss three strategies

2:24

for helping you drop the obsession with counting

2:26

and calculating all the food that

2:28

you were eating and still be able

2:30

to lose some weight. So I'll put the link

2:32

to that original ebook in the show notes, just for

2:34

fun. Today, but also

2:36

I want to just address her specific

2:39

concerns. My obsession. Was

2:41

more about counting and calculating. I was coming

2:44

off of macro county back then.

2:46

And so it was kind of helping

2:48

people transition from that. But this

2:50

sounds a little bit different to me. I don't have a lot

2:52

of information about this listener,

2:55

but I think. That

2:57

part of what she's obsessing about. When

2:59

we think about obsessing over everything we eat.

3:02

A lot of it likely has to do. With

3:04

all the diets we've done in the past and getting

3:06

confused. Because

3:09

some, we did war low fat,

3:11

and then maybe you tried keto, which is very

3:13

high, fat. And then some cut

3:15

out sugar completely altogether, no

3:17

sugar, no flour. And then if you

3:19

count macros, it's like, well, if you can make

3:22

it fit, you can eat it. So you did mental gymnastics

3:24

and a crazy game of tetras, trying to make sure

3:26

that that serving size of nine

3:29

Cadbury mini eggs fit in today. And

3:31

it's all very overwhelming. You're

3:34

likely obsessed with what you are eating

3:37

because there's so much contradicting information

3:39

in your brain. And that

3:42

is overwhelming. And then every time

3:44

you go to pick something up, you're like, I

3:46

don't even know if this is healthy. How

3:48

do we figure it out? How

3:50

can we decide what to eat

3:53

without obsessing over it? I

3:55

made a list. I think I've got seven strategies

3:58

here. To help you answer

4:00

this question. So

4:02

number one. I want

4:04

you to drop the idea that

4:07

every food you eat has to

4:09

be the healthiest choice. You

4:11

know how I know that nine Cadbury

4:13

mini eggs is a serving size according to

4:15

the package. It's because I bought

4:17

some. And I ate some last

4:19

week. They happened to be my

4:21

favorite of all of the seasonal candies,

4:24

like all Halloween or Christmas or

4:26

any other holiday candies, Cadbury mini

4:28

eggs are my favorite. Aside

4:30

from some of like the homemade candies,

4:32

I may get Christmas. I'm talking about like

4:34

purchased candies. Don't

4:37

try to fool me by the way, with

4:39

those newer dark chocolate ones that came out a couple

4:41

of years ago. No, I liked the original

4:43

milk chocolate., I also

4:46

consider myself. A generally healthy

4:48

person. Not every food

4:50

that I put in my mouth is the healthiest

4:52

food. Sometimes I eat

4:54

foods that I like for pleasure.

4:57

So that's number one, drop the idea

5:00

that every food you eat has

5:02

to be the healthiest choice. There is. I'm

5:05

not saying eat cabaret, mini eggs every day

5:07

for lunch. But all

5:09

foods can fit in to

5:12

your lifestyle. I definitely eat.

5:14

Many eggs, as long as the majority

5:17

of my food is from a whole

5:19

food source. I don't worry about

5:21

that extra bit. That is. Not

5:23

so much. Okay. Number two.

5:26

I also don't subscribe to the idea that

5:28

food needs to be just fuel.

5:31

If you caught my episode last week with Molly's

5:33

Emek, we talked about how our teacher and

5:35

the life coach school was very clear on the

5:37

fact that food should just be fuel

5:39

and not pleasure at all. That

5:42

just doesn't work for me or Molly. We

5:44

both feel like food can and

5:46

should be enjoyed. We

5:49

don't need to eat unseasoned, cardboard tasting

5:51

food. If food is just eaten

5:53

for fuel, then we wouldn't bother seasoning

5:55

it or serving it with a complementary side

5:58

dish or even eating a variety

6:00

of food. But food can

6:02

be both pleasurable and

6:05

eaten in the amount that is pleasurable

6:07

in the body. I've

6:09

said this a lot of times, but the pleasure

6:12

of the entire eating and food

6:14

experience. Actually

6:16

decreases. The farther

6:18

over your fullness cues that you get.

6:22

Typically, you begin to think more

6:24

about how bad your body feels

6:26

and less about how good the food

6:28

is. The more you overeat,

6:31

the higher, the chances are that you're also

6:33

going to feel not great in your brain.

6:35

'cause your old mean, girl self is going to

6:38

start attacking you for yet. Again,

6:40

overeating. You'll never get this right.

6:42

Yada yada, yada. You know what she sounds

6:44

like, right. So, if we want

6:46

max pleasure out of food, we

6:49

make an eat food. We enjoy in

6:51

the amount that works well in our

6:53

body. This is far more important

6:55

than making sure it's the absolute

6:57

healthiest choice. We

7:00

just, we want to drop that idea. Okay.

7:02

Number three, no food or meal

7:05

that we eat can supply all

7:07

the nutrients that we want. I

7:09

think there's a lot of pressure that this person

7:11

feels to have the healthiest

7:14

meal, but if you were to Google,

7:16

like super foods or nutritious foods,

7:18

and what have you, you'll find

7:21

a variety of things listed. But

7:23

we can't eat all those foods in

7:25

one sitting or in one meal. I

7:28

just don't want to eat blueberries on top

7:30

of salmon with a side of walnuts and cruciferous

7:32

vegetables and lagoons. Like it's too much.

7:35

You can't eat all the things at every

7:37

meal. Each meal is

7:39

going to have some foods that

7:41

supplies some of the nutrients that you

7:43

need. And then you'll get hopefully

7:46

different ones at the next meal.

7:49

So if this meal, your protein choice is fish

7:51

great. But then next meal, it will be

7:54

eggs or cottage, cheese, or chicken.

7:56

And that's great too. Just

7:58

because those foods might not be

8:00

on the Harvard school of medicine, top

8:02

10 healthy food list. Doesn't

8:05

mean you shouldn't eat them. We

8:07

need a variety of foods in

8:09

our diet. All right. Number

8:11

four, aim to eat foods from

8:14

whole food sources, 80

8:16

to 90% of the time. What

8:19

I mean by that is hopefully we are choosing foods

8:21

that are not ultra processed.

8:23

On that frequency. So it's not that

8:25

you have to make homemade food on that

8:27

frequency on that 80 to 90% of

8:29

the time, there are plenty of foods

8:32

that are ready to go that aren't ultra

8:34

processed foods. Bagged salads,

8:37

meal delivery kits, even just an

8:39

order of fajitas at your favorite Mexican restaurant.

8:41

Would not be ultra processed that starts

8:44

with chicken, bell, peppers, onions, and some seasoning.

8:47

Ultra processed foods are going to be

8:49

more like chips, crackers, granola

8:51

bars, cold cereal. Things

8:54

in packages that have a lot of preservatives

8:57

and food dyes, artificial flavorings,

8:59

stuff like that. I don't

9:01

want to be part of the scare tactics of telling

9:03

you to stay out of the center of the grocery store.

9:06

I love the center of the grocery store. It's

9:08

where I buy canned tomatoes and beans

9:11

and rice and oatmeal. It's where

9:13

you find seasonings and spices and

9:15

salsa, all the stuff that's going to make your

9:17

food pleasurable, which is what we want.

9:19

Right. The more, you can

9:21

buy foods that are convenient, like canned

9:23

beans over dried beans. Frozen

9:26

vegetables and precooked brown rice.

9:28

The more likely you are to include

9:31

those things in your diet. So don't

9:33

shy away from those things, thinking

9:35

that they are processed. All

9:37

food that gets cooked or frozen.

9:40

That's processed. You

9:42

just want to be cautious about the foods I mentioned

9:44

that are truly ultra processed. And

9:47

I think, you know how to tell the difference.

9:49

You have probably seen the headlines about

9:52

the study published in the British medical

9:54

journal. That found that people

9:56

who consume high amounts of these

9:58

foods, the ultra processed ones. Have

10:00

an increased risk of anxiety,

10:03

depression, obesity, metabolic

10:05

syndrome, certain cancers, including

10:07

colorectal cancer and premature death.

10:11

That's a big, scary list, but

10:14

it also shows that there could be

10:16

a threshold effect. Meaning

10:18

people who consume small amounts

10:21

under a certain threshold are not

10:23

at increased risk. They

10:25

didn't define clearly how

10:27

much is quote unquote. Okay.

10:30

Where this threshold lands, because it may

10:32

vary from person to person. And

10:35

it probably depends on other lifestyle

10:37

habits. But this goes back

10:40

to my idea of 80 to

10:42

90% of the time. We want to be

10:44

eating foods that are from a whole food type source.

10:47

So. We don't need to be super

10:49

afraid of ultra processed foods,

10:52

as long as they are not making up

10:54

50 to 60% of our diet, which

10:56

is where Americans are about right

10:58

now. Okay. Number

11:00

five, let bio individuality

11:03

reign Supreme here. Part

11:06

of what is healthy for you?

11:08

Is what works in your body.

11:11

Not only that, but there is also some amount

11:13

of beliefs that go into this as well, such

11:15

as religious beliefs that prohibit some foods

11:18

and therefore. Go into our beliefs about

11:20

what is healthy for your body. So

11:23

there's so much bio-individuality.

11:25

So for example, I don't eat. Um,

11:27

bananas because they make me nauseous.

11:30

But I don't shy away from recommending them

11:33

to my clients. You figure

11:35

out if bananas or dairy or pasta

11:38

works for you. You try

11:40

it and see how it feels.

11:42

So. Bio-individuality not

11:45

only encompasses our allergies

11:47

and adverse effects, but also things

11:49

that give us energy and our food

11:52

preferences. What you like

11:54

matters. If you don't

11:56

like particular foods. And

11:59

you don't want to learn to like them,

12:01

like save vegetables. For example, we

12:03

can figure that out. We can figure out.

12:05

Vegetables that do work for you, some vegetables

12:08

or fruits that you do. Like I have

12:10

a couple of clients and their list of fruits

12:12

and vegetables that they like is very, very

12:15

short. We work with that. And

12:17

then if they're willing to try, we figure

12:20

out ways to try new things, but

12:22

your preferences do matter.

12:26

Okay. I want to talk specifically now to this

12:28

person that commented. And I, I

12:30

sure hope she's listening, but I also know that a lot

12:32

of you listening probably feel this same

12:34

way. When she said

12:36

what I should eat right now.

12:39

And is it going to make me sick later?

12:42

so that it's kind of twofold. That the right

12:44

now thing is what I want to talk about first, when

12:46

you're making your food decision in the

12:48

moment. All of that food

12:50

chatter that I talked about at the very

12:52

beginning from all of the years of dieting

12:55

will be loud. You're often

12:57

being influenced by your lower brain. When you are

12:59

standing in front of the refrigerator and trying to

13:01

pick something for lunch, we want

13:04

to make our food decisions with our higher

13:06

brains. We want to think about

13:08

making those decisions with our best thinking

13:10

brains. This is the part of your brain

13:12

that makes you human, because it's this

13:15

part that can think about and make plans

13:17

for your future. Making

13:19

a 24 hour practical plan each morning.

13:21

And just taking five to 10 minutes to

13:23

use your best. First of

13:25

the morning, thoughts to plan your food for the

13:27

day can go a long way

13:30

to calming this food chatter.

13:32

When you were looking also at your whole

13:35

day, you can also better see

13:37

how you are getting healthy nutrients throughout

13:39

the day and not having to worry about

13:41

cramming them all in at one meal.

13:44

Here's another great thing about having a plan.

13:47

You can keep it for future use. You

13:49

don't have to reinvent the wheel every

13:51

day. When you find meals that

13:53

work for you and don't make you sick and

13:55

help you feel energized, make sure

13:58

those get transferred to your go-to meals

14:00

plan. That download is also

14:02

in the show notes. If you don't know what I'm talking

14:04

about. You'll want to grab that.

14:07

Picking from your go-to meals is

14:09

also a safe bet when you don't

14:11

know what to eat. But

14:13

you've got to do the experiments first

14:16

to see what works. If

14:18

you were having a lot of trouble with food, making

14:21

you sick, I would strongly recommend

14:23

you track that closely. This

14:25

is actually how I discovered the bananas. Give

14:27

me nausea. I was drinking these really

14:30

green smoothies, like where you fill the

14:32

blender with greens and then blend that down

14:34

until it's liquid. And then fill it up again with

14:36

more grains. And I put

14:38

a banana in there as well, amongst other

14:40

ingredients to make it palatable.

14:43

And they were just making me

14:45

so nauseous, but I was following

14:47

this green smoothie, fad diet things. So I

14:49

was determined to carry on. But

14:51

it wasn't until a banana plane

14:54

and had the same reaction that I

14:56

realized, oh, it was the banana

14:58

in this movie. That was the problem. If

15:01

I hadn't been tracking the nausea and

15:03

what I was eating at the same time. I

15:05

wouldn't have figured it out. I don't think. So

15:08

I like giving yourself a one to

15:10

10 score for the symptom

15:12

you are tracking, whether it be nausea or

15:15

gas or bloating or heartburn. Just

15:17

jot that score down next to the meal

15:19

that you ate, and then you

15:22

have great data to look back on to

15:24

see if you can find. A pattern.

15:27

Lastly, this is a little

15:29

bit more on the, is this going to make me

15:31

sick part is I

15:33

also find that a lot of these symptoms

15:36

go away. When my clients

15:38

stop overeating. I

15:40

love those Cadbury mini eggs. I think

15:43

I've already mentioned that. But

15:45

if I eat too many. I definitely

15:47

feel sick. Pay attention

15:50

to your hunger scale and make sure

15:52

that the quantity of food.

15:55

Is not actually the problem.

15:58

Last August. I was being interviewed by

16:00

Brandon Eastman for his podcast.

16:02

And he said, You know, I love these,

16:05

these Mexican bulls. They're so

16:07

good. They've got like rice and chicken

16:09

and vegetables, but every time I eat them, Like

16:11

I feel so sick. It's like the combination of

16:13

ingredients that ends up being bad

16:15

for me. And I was like,

16:18

is it the combination of ingredients

16:20

or is it the quantity that you're eating?

16:23

And he was like, whoa.

16:26

Because we want

16:28

to blame it on these ingredients. We want

16:30

to blame it on the restaurant. But we've got

16:33

to pay attention. To the

16:35

quantity and see if

16:37

that is the part that isn't making

16:39

us sick. Okay. I think I have

16:41

already given you seven things, but I sort of have,

16:44

have lost track. I

16:46

have one more now. Here's my

16:48

final thought. Trust

16:50

yourself. We have

16:52

spent so many years on different fad diets

16:55

and trusting the meal plan in

16:58

the book or the diet app to

17:00

tell us exactly what to eat and how many

17:02

calories and what we're still short on.

17:05

And ignoring our bodies

17:07

all together. What

17:09

if you started to trust your own

17:11

body? A lot of people say

17:13

they wish they could just eat whatever they want. And

17:16

that is not what I'm talking about. Trusting

17:18

your body is not the same as

17:21

eating, whatever your lower brain wants on a

17:23

whim. I see the difference when

17:25

people say, oh, I just wish I could eat whatever I want.

17:27

What they mean is they wish they could eat

17:29

all of those ultra processed foods, all of

17:31

this high sugary. High-fat type

17:34

items that are delicious. But

17:36

feel terrible in their body.

17:38

Most people, when they say I want to eat whatever I

17:40

want, totally disregard how

17:43

their bodies actually feel after

17:45

they've eaten those things. If you

17:47

really listened to your body when she said,

17:49

oh, that's enough food or

17:52

maybe you'll notice. Wow. I really do have

17:54

less sugar cravings when I get adequate

17:56

servings of fiber and protein. Then

17:59

these become. The things you actually

18:01

want to eat. And you

18:03

stopped saying things like, I wish I could

18:05

eat whatever I want. And you start trusting

18:08

what your body is telling you, instead

18:10

of punishing your body and criticizing

18:13

and withholding food, because you don't have

18:15

the exact right thing. Or because you think

18:17

that you haven't exercised enough or for

18:20

whatever reason. What have you

18:22

trusted that your body is capable of helping

18:24

you lose your weight? I

18:27

saw this quote years ago. And

18:29

it has remained one of my favorites and has been

18:31

a guide to me on this journey from chronic

18:33

fad diet or to feeling like me

18:36

and my body are capable. And

18:38

I said to my body, Softly.

18:42

I want to be your friend. It

18:44

took a long breath. And replied.

18:47

I have been waiting. My whole life

18:49

for this. That's by

18:51

Nayyirah Waheed. I don't know if I'm saying that

18:54

correctly and I don't actually know anything about

18:56

that author. But I love

18:58

it. And it has impacted me. Tri

19:01

trusting yourself. Try trusting

19:04

your body and letting go. Of

19:06

that food chatter and the diet mentality.

19:10

Try taking exquisite care

19:12

of this body that you live in. Have

19:15

a good week. My friends as always thanks for

19:17

listening. And maybe even sharing.

19:19

This episode of the Eat well think,

19:21

well live well podcast.