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This is Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well podcast.

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I'm Lisa Salsbury, and this is episode 79

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habits of successful weight loss. Welcome

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to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast

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for women who want to lose weight, but are tired

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of counting and calculating all the food.

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I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury. I'm

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a certified health and weight loss coach and life

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coach, and most importantly a recovered

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chronic dieter. I'll teach you

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to figure out why you are eating when you aren't

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hungry, instead of worrying so much about

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what you are eating. Hey

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everyone. I have a great episode planned for you

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today. I want to talk to you about

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the habits that folks

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who lose weight in my program are

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developing. So these

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are the habits that I find time

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and time again are the ones

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that are leading to lasting

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weight loss. So I'm just going

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to jump right in number one, you're not going to

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be surprised by this. I talk about it all the

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time is they listen to

1:01

their hunger scale. If you don't know

1:03

what I'm talking about on the hunger scale, go back

1:05

and listen to the back-to-basics episode I did

1:07

in October about the hunger scale.

1:10

Essentially, what I'm asking you to do

1:13

is to wait until you're physically hungry

1:15

to eat and that's pleasantly hungry.

1:18

Not starving, which is not

1:20

a word I love to use, but you know, we're not

1:22

getting into that. Like cramping, stomach, kind

1:24

of hunger. We want to eat when we're pleasantly

1:26

hungry. It's the nicest time to start eating

1:28

because you're really ready and your body's

1:31

asking for food and then we stop

1:33

eating at enough. Again, this

1:35

is the nicest time for your body. It

1:37

feels the best. You're going to feel the

1:39

best later. You're not going to be overly full.

1:42

That's the hunger scale

1:44

in a nutshell, but this is a habit.

1:46

That. Folks that lose weight in my

1:49

program. Are developing. They

1:52

are starting to use this every

1:54

single day. And sometimes even though

1:56

I talk a lot about creating their 24

1:58

hour plan, a lot of times,

2:01

as they develop the skill of listening

2:03

to their hunger scale, what happens as

2:05

they have more and more days where they did

2:07

not plan. And the plan is

2:10

eat according to my hunger scale and they are still

2:12

able to lose or maintain their weight.

2:15

Number two. Habit that these

2:18

people develop is what I call the

2:20

very next bite strategy. What

2:23

this is, is when we have

2:25

an overeat. When we,

2:27

because as much as we do want to listen to

2:29

our hunger scale, sometimes these things happen.

2:31

Sometimes we do it on purpose. Sometimes

2:34

we're like, I feel like garbage. I

2:36

know that this food isn't going to help me, but I'm going

2:38

to overeat it anyway. So

2:40

sometimes we kind of do it on purpose,

2:43

right. Sometimes we do it on accident.

2:45

Sometimes we're just nibbling. It's mindless.

2:47

It doesn't really matter why it happens. The

2:50

point is that the very next bite

2:52

strategy is that. They wait

2:54

for physical hunger again. And

2:56

then that very next bite is

2:58

right back on plan. One

3:00

over eaten meal. Doesn't turn

3:03

into an overeat day. Doesn't

3:05

turn into a, throw your hands up in the

3:07

air for the week. It doesn't turn into

3:09

I'll just wait till next Monday or the first

3:11

of the month or the first of the year we don't wait.

3:14

To get quote unquote,

3:16

back on track. There is no back

3:19

on track because we were never off track.

3:21

We just over ate one meal, it's

3:23

a whole different mindset. We're never

3:25

off track. And so

3:27

this very next bite really

3:30

helps my clients just look at

3:32

that one overeat as a singular

3:34

experience. And they're not

3:36

defining themselves as well.

3:38

I guess I can't do this. Well, I guess

3:40

this will never work for me. They're just

3:42

like, yeah, this happened this one

3:45

time, this week. And then for breakfast,

3:47

I was right back onto my go-to meals. That

3:49

is the very next bite strategy and

3:52

the women in my program, they do this very

3:54

well. They will report back to me. Yeah. I had this one

3:56

overeat and it was no big deal. It

3:58

didn't throw me off my game. number

4:02

three is they consistently talk

4:04

nicer to themselves and

4:06

to their bodies. This

4:08

is an interesting one because

4:11

I don't talk a lot about this, but just

4:13

remember that you cannot hate yourself

4:16

thin. It's not possible.

4:18

And I know because I've tried.

4:21

I think we've all tried. I think we've all tried

4:23

looking in the mirror and criticizing our

4:25

thighs and, and, you

4:27

know, juggling our stomach around and. Talking

4:30

to our bodies in such a way that we would

4:32

never speak those words out loud

4:34

to another human being. We would certainly

4:37

be correcting our daughter if we heard

4:39

her speaking in that way to her body.

4:42

And somehow we decide that it's okay

4:44

for us to talk to our bodies in

4:46

this unkind way and critical.

4:48

I'm talking about those critical thoughts and like,

4:51

well, if you were just. XYZ.

4:53

Do these things better. You wouldn't look so

4:56

gross. Right? I. I don't want to

4:58

put like thoughts in your head of like maybe

5:00

things you haven't thought of, but I'm guessing,

5:02

you know what I'm talking about. I'm guessing you've had

5:04

these thoughts. These are the things

5:07

that my clients are able to

5:09

stop thinking. They

5:11

stop thinking that their bodies

5:13

are wrong or something has gone

5:15

wrong and they start

5:17

asking how they can take amazing care

5:20

of their bodies. It's a shift

5:22

for themselves because instead

5:24

of thinking, I have to hate myself

5:26

enough to get myself to the gym. I have

5:28

to hate this body enough to force myself

5:31

to eat more salads. They actually

5:33

start shifting into. If

5:35

I loved this body, how would I best

5:38

take care of her? What would

5:40

look like love. For

5:42

this vessel for my soul. We

5:44

start to speak about our bodies in

5:46

that way in beautiful language

5:49

like this, like this is the vessel

5:51

for my soul. This

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is the one. Body.

5:55

I get to walk around and

5:57

look at all of the beautiful things

5:59

that this body can do. And we

6:01

start to really notice all of the amazing

6:04

capabilities that we do have.

6:06

And this starts to be the more

6:09

common thought. It's not that we

6:11

never notice. I said, we, we talk

6:13

nicer. It's not that we're like,

6:15

oh, it's all rainbows and daisies that our brains

6:18

all the time. It's just that the

6:20

nice thoughts and the loving thoughts

6:22

about our body start to sort of

6:24

outweigh. The critical

6:27

and the hate. This is a

6:29

pretty important one. I

6:31

actually started sort

6:33

of coaching my mom about this

6:35

without her consent. Um,

6:37

which is what I call giving advice when nobody

6:40

asks for it as coaching without their consent.

6:42

But I. I

6:44

just kind of said, you know, you maybe

6:46

could try, you could try loving

6:48

your body. Like that's not something you've ever

6:50

tried before. And she

6:52

admitted that she has never in her entire

6:55

life. Try to love her body.

6:57

And I just hope that I can catch

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some of you before you are in your

7:02

late seventies. I

7:04

want you to start loving your body now.

7:06

And I think it is so

7:08

important and so critical For any

7:10

of your weight loss goals, because it

7:12

really is the only way. That

7:15

you will be able to keep the weight off because

7:17

if we only hate ourselves to get the

7:19

weight off. It's just not sustainable.

7:21

It's not maintainable. Okay.

7:24

Number four habit that I noticed

7:26

that women have when they lose weight in my program

7:29

is that they learned that they prefer

7:31

to stop. At enough.

7:33

this kind of is a reiteration

7:35

of the hunger scale, but it's A little bit more

7:37

nuanced. And what I notice

7:40

is that they start getting more

7:42

comfortable with stopping

7:44

at enough than

7:46

overshooting. And here's

7:48

what the interesting thing is when you first

7:51

start. To practice

7:53

this and to stop at enough, you're going to be very

7:55

disappointed. You're going to be like, oh,

7:58

I hear my body is saying that's enough food, but

8:00

mentally, this isn't enough. I normally

8:02

get to eat more. Everyone else is still

8:04

eating all this discomfort and disappointment

8:07

is going to come up. But as

8:09

you progress through the program, and

8:11

as you continue to practice this,

8:14

you stop thinking, well,

8:16

who cares? How I'm going to feel later, I'm just going to eat

8:18

this now. And you start

8:20

to be more future-focused. And

8:23

you start to prefer the feeling

8:25

of eating too enough. Because

8:28

you know that you will feel better

8:30

in your body later. And

8:33

you're going to feel better in your brain

8:35

because you won't have to deal with all of

8:37

that. Again, chatter.

8:40

And that beating yourself up for yet

8:42

again, over eating and you'll never get this

8:44

and all of that kind of thing that goes along

8:47

with the overeats. And

8:49

so what happens is you start preferring

8:52

stopping at enough, which

8:54

is a really cool shift, because

8:57

like I said, when you first start practicing

8:59

this, it's going to be disappointing because you're

9:01

like this isn't the same amount of food that I used to

9:03

eat. And so you're going to feel disappointed.

9:05

And eventually you're going to

9:07

be like, you know, I actually prefer

9:10

feeling this way. I prefer

9:13

going to bed, feeling

9:15

light and you know, not

9:17

cramped up and gassy and bloating. I

9:19

prefer not waking up in the

9:21

morning, still full from the night

9:23

before. You're just going to start noticing

9:26

little benefits like that, that

9:28

have nothing to do with the scale. Although

9:31

those results will show up later

9:33

and you're going to start preferring

9:36

the feeling of enough. And that is

9:38

a really, really cool shift of

9:40

some. Some of the women that are in my program.

9:43

So these are the skills

9:45

that, um, we develop

9:47

in my program and I just got a

9:49

little sidetracked. I noticed I listed talk

9:51

nicer to themselves again. Like

9:53

it was number three and it's number five. Okay.

9:56

So. Apparently that one's really important

9:58

to me. So I just ended up having

10:00

four. So it was, they listened to

10:02

their hunger scale. They practiced the very

10:04

next bite to strategy. They consistently

10:07

talk nicer to themselves and they prefer

10:09

to stop at enough. So

10:11

these are the skills I am laser

10:14

focused on when I am

10:16

teaching. And these are the skills

10:18

that will be especially important in

10:20

my new group program. So

10:22

if you've never joined a group program

10:25

for weight loss, or even a group exercise

10:27

program, let me tell you. It's

10:30

not like group projects in high school where

10:32

one person did all the heavy lifting and

10:34

the other people just sat back

10:36

and skated through. Nope. In

10:38

this case, we are all going to

10:40

put in the work, including me. I'm

10:43

going to be showing up for you each and

10:45

every week with a new skill. To

10:47

teach you. I have a full curriculum

10:49

for the program. And you'll

10:51

be able to work on that and implement

10:54

it that week to move your weight loss

10:56

forward. This isn't the type of

10:58

program where I show up and say, who needs

11:00

coaching? Who needs, who needs

11:02

help? Who had a challenge? Like now I

11:04

have a curriculum ready for you.

11:07

And we will be practicing these skills

11:09

together and in

11:12

order. I'll be coaching in that group

11:14

and you will be amazed also at how

11:16

this works. So after we're

11:18

learning the skills that we're going to be working on that

11:20

week, you'll be watching someone

11:23

else get coached. Sometimes it'll be your turn.

11:25

Sometimes it won't be. And

11:27

you will be amazed at again,

11:30

this is not like watching someone do the work

11:32

in that high school project. And you just sit back

11:34

and learn nothing. When you watch

11:36

someone else get coached, you're going

11:38

to be able to see it really clearly

11:40

for them, especially just after a couple

11:43

of weeks. You'll see the solution

11:45

to what is happening for them. And

11:48

you'll be like, oh, obviously, because

11:50

you weren't as emotionally invested

11:53

as you are with your own problem. And

11:55

then when it's your turn to get coached, you might feel

11:57

really stuck. And other people

12:00

are going to be able to see your solution. And

12:02

so what's going to happen is over time, you're

12:05

going to have these aha moments maybe later,

12:07

or maybe while that person is getting coached.

12:09

And you're like, oh, that's really similar

12:11

to my challenge. Maybe it's

12:13

just a different food or a slightly different circumstance.

12:16

And you're having that same, it's so

12:19

hard thought. And then you're going to

12:21

be able to apply the coaching that you've heard on

12:23

that other person to your own

12:25

problems and challenges. So you'll be

12:27

surprised at how much you learn, even if

12:29

it's not you being coached. So

12:32

we are also going to get together every Monday

12:34

for a meal planning call. I'm

12:36

really excited about this addition to

12:38

the group program. This is going to be a working

12:41

call. So it means a time

12:43

for you to actually get your planning

12:45

done. I find that planning a time

12:47

to do the planning is often what my

12:49

clients or myself struggle with. So

12:51

I decided, you know what, let's just get together

12:54

to do it. So after we get going,

12:56

I'll be chatting with the group participants to make sure

12:58

this call is at the right time for everyone. Right

13:00

now I have it scheduled for Mondays at two o'clock,

13:03

but that could change if everyone is like, no,

13:05

we need to do it later in the evening or maybe early

13:07

morning, maybe we'll all come in our PJ's and bedhead

13:09

and get it done first thing in the morning, but

13:12

in any case, we'll find a time that works for

13:14

most people. I will have some meal

13:16

planning tips. I'll share each week for a few

13:18

minutes, just some ideas to get going on

13:20

that week's session. And then we will work

13:22

quietly for 28 to 25 minutes.

13:24

We'll take a break and share if anyone has some

13:26

great ideas. And then if you're not done,

13:29

we'll continue on for another 20 to 25

13:31

minutes. And then share again at

13:33

the end. So it

13:35

will not only be a time to get the work

13:37

done, the planning work, but

13:39

also to share if you've got some great

13:41

meals planned, so you can share with

13:44

the group. And then if you finish your meal

13:46

planning, then it will also be

13:48

a great time to work on any of the skills

13:50

that we've been learning in that week session, or

13:52

get caught up on some of your guided journaling

13:54

from the workbook. That sort of thing.

13:56

So it's just an extra call

13:58

I'm really excited about doing with

14:01

the group. I looked at several

14:03

research studies this week, trying to determine

14:05

if the research showed benefits of group

14:07

over individual coaching. And

14:10

it's hard to find in this particular kind

14:12

of coaching there's. Studies on

14:15

a lot of programs like weight Watchers

14:17

or other programs where it's just like

14:19

a group exercise class. Um,

14:21

the ones I did find though, definitely

14:24

showed more benefit with the group

14:26

coaching. Over individual,

14:28

but specifically if they brought

14:30

a friend along. So, not just

14:32

in a group of people, they didn't previously know, but

14:35

with someone they cared about, so

14:37

groups where they didn't know anyone were also successful,

14:40

so don't think, oh gosh, I don't know anyone. So

14:42

it's not going to work for me. It does. But

14:45

I just wanted to let you know, that's why

14:47

when you sign up for my wait list, you'll

14:50

get a little bonus discount for you

14:52

and for you to pass along to a friend

14:54

that also signs up. So

14:57

that bonus and waitlist is actually

14:59

going away this weekend.

15:01

Because we will be starting full signups for the

15:03

group and getting everyone onboarded. So

15:06

there won't actually be a wait list

15:08

anymore. So if you want that discount.

15:10

Be sure to get on the wait list in the next couple

15:12

of days. If you're listening to this

15:14

later, I'll give you some dates. That

15:16

discount will go away. Saturday, January

15:19

27th, because onboarding is beginning

15:21

Monday, January 29th, and

15:24

you will have a week then to get signed up

15:26

and ready for us to begin on February

15:28

7th. The other benefit

15:30

I noticed in one of the studies is

15:32

that the group programs tend to be a cost

15:35

savings over one-on-one sessions.

15:37

And that is true here as well. I've

15:39

got all the pricing listed in the emails going out

15:41

this week, along with the payment plans,

15:44

but just so you know, it's less than half of

15:46

my current one-on-one client cost. Lastly,

15:49

if you have any questions at all, or

15:51

if you're wondering if group or one-on-one

15:53

is right for you, I'm still

15:55

doing free strategy calls for the

15:57

group program. You don't have to be

15:59

interested in one-on-one coaching in order

16:02

to schedule one of those calls. So

16:04

get one of those scheduled this week. If you want

16:06

helping help deciding if this is the

16:08

perfect fit for you. Okay. I'm

16:10

looking forward to meeting a lot of you

16:12

in the group. And maybe even this week,

16:14

if you want to chat a bit on a strategy call,

16:17

I just remembered one thing I didn't mention. Yes,

16:20

the group sessions will be recorded.

16:22

So if you miss one, no worries.

16:24

You can always catch the recording. So

16:26

I've also put my email directly in

16:29

the show notes of this episode. I don't normally do

16:31

that, but honestly, feel free to email

16:33

me any questions you have about this. I

16:35

want to be really available for you. In

16:37

the next two weeks to make sure that

16:39

all of your questions are answered about the

16:42

group program. Okay. Thanks for listening

16:44

to the eat. Well think, well live well podcast.