0:00

Hello, Beckys and Danas.

0:03

This is your friend Tig. I cannot

0:05

believe this, but for

0:08

three seasons, three whole

0:10

seasons, I've done my very best

0:14

to help you resolve dilemmas,

0:17

disputes, predicaments,

0:19

pickles, conundrums, and

0:22

of course, confessions. I

0:24

have loved every minute of it, and

0:27

I really want to thank everyone at APM

0:29

Studios for giving me the opportunity

0:32

to share all of my questionable

0:34

advice with you wonderful,

0:37

wonderful people.

0:39

And now, it's time that

0:41

I tell you that this is

0:43

actually the final episode of Don't

0:45

Ask Tig. It is hard

0:48

to believe that we have reached this place, but

0:50

yes, it's true. It's

0:53

the final episode. It has

0:55

been such a pleasure to

0:57

run into people and hear who

0:59

has enjoyed the show, the

1:02

help that they've gotten,

1:04

or just even the laughs that they've had.

1:07

It's always... Well,

1:09

sometimes not surprising who is a fan

1:11

of the show, but the people that

1:14

surprise me that are fans, it's

1:16

a whole other level of a pleasure. And

1:20

I'm so thankful for all of my friends, and

1:23

the new friends I made that came

1:25

on to the show. Oh, my

1:27

gosh. What a crazy ride it's been.

1:30

I know this is a bit of a curveball, but,

1:33

you know, I

1:34

can't tell you a month

1:36

in advance that the show is

1:38

ending, you know? Because I don't want you to be listening

1:41

and feeling like, oh, no,

1:43

we only have this many left, and

1:45

now it's just this, and... So

1:49

here we are.

1:50

But if you do want to re-listen

1:52

to your favorite episodes, this

1:55

Don't Ask Tig feed will still live

1:57

on right here at American

1:59

Public Media.

1:59

So come back and visit

2:02

from time to time. I know I will

2:04

be and of course I'd

2:06

love you to listen and subscribe

2:09

to

2:09

my new podcast handsome

2:12

which features me and my

2:14

fellow comedians and friends May

2:16

Martin and fortune theme stir I'm

2:19

gonna be putting all of my podcasting

2:23

energy Into this

2:26

new show and I really hope that

2:28

you come along and check it out

2:30

and join us every week for a whole

2:33

New load of nonsense and fun It's

2:36

a very different show. It's for

2:39

sure a different show But

2:41

I think if you enjoy don't ask

2:44

Tig. There's a really good chance That

2:47

you'll enjoy handsome. So

2:49

head over there check it out and

2:52

now It's so

2:54

crazy to say this But

2:57

here is one last

3:00

episode of don't ask Tig

3:02

and I have to say

3:05

It's already one of my

3:07

all-time Favorites

3:10

and this is not a pat on my back. Okay,

3:13

but this is this is a

3:15

good episode So,

3:18

please enjoy Julia

3:20

Louise Rifas How

3:23

Can I not have an answer

3:26

to that question and I don't okay.

3:28

Well, that's completely fine edit

3:30

that edit that out I know we're gonna

3:32

we're gonna loop that

3:33

through the whole episode

3:52

I Have

5:45

think

6:00

that that is an incredible

6:03

mistake and that older

6:05

women who've lived full lives,

6:08

and I mean, you know, women above the age of 70 and

6:11

beyond have a lot to share with us.

6:13

It's like an untapped natural resource.

6:16

So we're sort of having these conversations

6:19

with women in their 70s and 80s

6:21

and even 90s about what

6:23

cliff notes can they give us so that

6:26

we might benefit in our

6:28

lives. It's sort of an earnest premise,

6:30

but I'm down for it because it just appeals

6:32

to me on a personal level. So

6:35

when was that moment that you felt

6:37

the inspiration of, I need to

6:39

talk to older women? I'll

6:42

tell you exactly. I watched the Jane Fonda

6:44

documentary on HBO called

6:46

Jane Fonda in 5X,

6:48

and I was so struck by the scope,

6:51

the depth of her life and

6:53

the influence of her life. Then I thought,

6:56

why am I just really understanding

6:58

this now? Why are

7:01

we talking to more women like this to find

7:03

out what they've done, where

7:05

they've been, how they've done it? I

7:07

wish there was a podcast like that. And

7:10

then I thought, okay, I guess I have to do

7:12

the podcast. And

7:16

I'm assuming you've been enjoying it. The

7:18

show's doing so well. Yeah,

7:20

I am enjoying it. I mean, it's much

7:22

more work than I ever anticipated. There's

7:25

a lot of research that goes into

7:27

it because it's women from all over the place.

7:30

I mean, it's just a little more time consuming than I considered.

7:32

But other than that, I absolutely love

7:34

it. I mean, it's been the eye

7:37

opening. So it's been nice. What's

7:39

been one of the most eye opening elements?

7:42

Well, I spoke with Isabel Allende,

7:45

who is, of course, the magnificent

7:48

writer. And the way

7:50

she characterized her life

7:53

as she's in her 80s was

7:56

so appealing. There

7:59

was a kind of like no bullsh**

8:01

anymore about, and actually that's

8:03

sort of a theme with all of the women that I talk

8:05

to. Love it. Much less bullsh**.

8:08

They'll just say it like it is, and I really

8:10

appreciate that. And it makes getting

8:13

older seem very appealing. Really,

8:16

I'm not kidding. I mean, Isabelle's talking about her life

8:19

in her 80s and what she does and how

8:21

she's let go of this stress and that stress,

8:23

and she will not concern herself with any

8:26

of these things anymore. And I thought, Isabelle,

8:28

I cannot wait to be 83 years old. You're

8:30

making it sound so fabulous.

8:33

And I meant that legitimately meant it. Before

8:35

I met my wife, I used to think, oh, you know,

8:37

I'll probably die around 70 or something and that's

8:39

fine. And then I met my wife

8:42

and she is so interested

8:45

in living to be 100 years old. And

8:48

I'm 15 years older than her. And her dream

8:51

is that we die together. And

8:53

I explained that that means I have to live to

8:55

be 115. And

8:57

she was like, you can do it. And I'm

8:59

telling you, I am now

9:01

so focused on

9:04

living to be as old as possible,

9:06

which was never

9:09

an interest of mine. I mean, I truly

9:11

was just like, yeah, you know, whatever happens

9:13

and then all. I've lived a good life. But now I'm

9:15

like, I got to get my sleep. I

9:17

got to exercise every day. I got to eat healthy.

9:20

I've got to release stress. I want to be with

9:22

Stephanie when I'm 115. That

9:25

creates a whole other level of stress. But

9:28

my whole point is, do you

9:30

have aspirations to, maybe

9:33

that's kind of a dumb question, to live?

9:35

Does that interest you? I mean, like, yes,

9:37

yes, it does interest me. Living

9:40

is a very interesting thing to do. How

9:43

dare you? And

9:45

appealing. Yeah, that is appealing.

9:48

What do you do to ensure your longevity?

9:52

Not enough. But I'm very

9:54

focused, interesting you should say, I am very focused

9:56

on sleep and getting the right

9:58

amount of sleep. And I'm

10:01

a huge exerciser. I think

10:03

my diet is only okay, to be

10:05

honest with you. Now, Julia.

10:08

Yes, Tig. What are your earliest memories

10:11

of comedy and making people

10:13

laugh around you? Were

10:15

you always aware, oh, I'm funny? Yeah,

10:19

there was a culture of being funny in my family,

10:21

for sure, and making jokes

10:23

about things, particularly

10:26

at inappropriate moments, that

10:28

kind of thing, that's our favorite, right? Yeah, yeah.

10:31

I know you agree with me about that. I love an awkward

10:33

moment. I love it. I love it,

10:35

and I will milk it. And

10:38

don't take it from me. I

10:41

love it. It's delicious. It is. So

10:44

there was that. Yeah. But I always

10:46

wanted to be an actor, and

10:49

I remember when I was little, I

10:51

would go to bed,

10:53

and then I would sit up in my bed, and

10:55

I would be doing monologues.

10:58

I would be doing things from Funny Girl,

11:01

that movie. I loved it so much. And

11:03

I loved Sound of Music, and I would be performing

11:06

for myself on top of my bed in my

11:08

nightgown for Barbara

11:11

Streisand, and for Julia

11:13

Andrews. It was a rarefied performance.

11:16

Did they enjoy it? Both women really

11:18

appreciated it. I

11:23

even remember when

11:24

I was in preschool, this

11:27

is my memory, I can't imagine it went like

11:29

this, but we would have to have nap

11:31

time, and you would bring your blanket. I'm

11:33

familiar. I would not take my nap

11:35

time. What would I do? I would dance

11:38

for the boys.

11:43

I can't sleep at a time like

11:45

this. The guys need me to move for them.

11:48

I remember that. We were different

11:50

little girls. Yeah, let me

11:52

hear. I mean, in so many ways, I can

11:55

tell already. In my head,

11:57

my imaginary friend was Eddie

11:59

Vang. And I used to play

12:02

soccer, and in my mind, Eddie

12:04

Van Halen pulled off the

12:07

road from his tour with

12:09

the whole tour bus and David Lee Ross

12:11

and everybody to go check

12:13

on me to see how my soccer was improving.

12:16

Oh, that's so nice of

12:18

him to reach out like that. It was so nice. We

12:20

had never met and still never met. Yeah. I

12:23

mean, I know he passed, obviously, but yeah, in my mind,

12:26

I was

12:26

like, I just want to, I want

12:28

to impress Eddie Van Halen with my soccer

12:30

abilities. Well,

12:31

I'm sure you did. Yeah. And

12:33

I'm sure he was there. I'm sure he was there. I never

12:35

turned around to look because I don't want to scare him off.

12:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you were well aware that he

12:40

was watching.

12:41

Oh, I was so aware. He was watching. I was so

12:43

aware.

12:43

It's an imaginary play

12:45

when you're young. It's transformative,

12:48

right? Yeah. Well,

12:51

it made me really work

12:53

at soccer. And I didn't

12:55

expect Eddie Van Halen to care

12:58

so much about my soccer playing, but

13:00

he did. There he was every time. God

13:03

love him. God love him. God loved him. Everyone

13:06

did. Is Tig a nickname or

13:08

the name you were given when you were little? At

13:11

birth. My name that I

13:13

was given when I was born was Mattiel.

13:15

Oh. That was my mother's name

13:17

too and my grandmother's name. Oh, wow.

13:20

My grandmother went by Teal and

13:23

my mother went by Susie and

13:25

I went by Tig. I love

13:28

it.

13:28

I do. I love

13:30

it. Is this a family name that

13:32

everyone insisted on dragging along but

13:35

nobody would use? Is your family French?

13:38

French, yes. There's some French in there

13:40

for sure. Some Irish, some

13:42

Italian. Mattiel is a pretty name, but Tig

13:44

is so fabulous. Well thank you. People

13:47

think it's my stage name, but it's not. It's

13:49

a good one. No, my brother made it up. Now

13:53

we have a segment on this show

13:55

called Don't Ask Your Heroes. It's

13:57

when our guests tell us who they're...

14:00

hero is and what advice related

14:02

question they would want to ask them. And

14:05

our mutual friend, Michaela Watkins,

14:08

who stars in You Hurt

14:10

My Feelings, the movie that

14:13

I was so thrilled

14:15

to get to watch a screening of. I

14:18

don't know if you remember me sitting behind you,

14:20

Julia. I keep trying to forget that

14:22

you were there. No, I knew you were there like

14:24

you knew Eddie Van Halen was there. And

14:27

I was delighted that you enjoyed it

14:29

for real. I was delighted

14:31

by the film. I'm delighted by you. And

14:33

God, do I love me some Michaela Watkins.

14:36

When she was a guest on the show, she

14:38

said you are one of her heroes. Let's

14:41

hear this clip

14:42

of what she has to say about you. Okay.

14:44

The first

14:47

person that comes to mind is Julia Louis-Dreyfus. And

14:49

the reason for that is because when

14:51

I did my first sitcom, I was

14:53

on New Adventures of Old Christine. And I always

14:56

said to myself, if I ever am

14:58

the lead of a show, I'm going to comport myself

15:01

the way that Julia does. And

15:03

I had the luck of working with

15:05

her multiple times.

15:08

Oh, that's so nice. Yeah, that's

15:10

so lovely. How does it feel to be

15:12

Michaela's hero? Well it's marvelous.

15:15

And Michaela is my hero. It's

15:17

funny how our lives have sort

15:19

of keep crossing because

15:22

she and I were in Old Christine together.

15:25

She was in Veep. She was in Enough Said,

15:28

the first movie that I did with Nicole

15:30

Hollis Center. By the way, she was so funny

15:33

in Enough Said, Michaela was. But

15:35

because there was a technical problem

15:38

with the scene that we shot, we couldn't use her

15:40

scene, which is such a shame

15:43

because let me explain to you how funny it was.

15:45

I could barely get through it. She

15:47

was making me laugh so hard. You know,

15:49

she's deeply funny. She's

15:52

deeply funny. Deeply funny. So

15:55

it's really a dream in this new

15:57

film that we have out, You Hurt My Feelings, to play sister.

16:00

sisters because I feel like we

16:02

have a bit of a history now working together.

16:04

We're kind of like-minded and we

16:07

both come from families of sisters. So

16:09

we understand the dynamic of

16:11

sisters, which is entirely different than

16:14

the dynamic between friends, even the

16:16

best of friends. I think it's quite a different dynamic.

16:18

So I was really very

16:21

happy to have the chance to work with her. So

16:23

she's my hero. She is so funny.

16:26

Now we're going to transition into listener questions.

16:29

Okay. Are you ready to give some advice

16:31

to my listeners? Oh, God.

16:34

Can you do it? Yeah, I'm happy to just

16:36

take it from here. We can drop the call. Julia.

16:43

Yes. Our first

16:46

question was sent to us by

16:48

an embarrassed friend. Kat

16:51

in Oklahoma writes, Hi Tig,

16:54

my friend Dave and I are in our mid thirties

16:56

and have been friends since ninth grade. His

16:59

parents own a beautiful lake

17:01

house outside of town and he never

17:03

invited me down there until last year.

17:06

I've been twice now. His parents

17:08

are very kind and

17:09

hospitable.

17:10

However Dave is so rude to

17:12

them, ignoring them, whining,

17:16

mumbling. He has the attitude

17:18

of a spoiled kid. He doesn't offer

17:20

to cook, help with the dishes or clean.

17:23

In all our years of friendship, I had never

17:25

seen him act like this. I love

17:28

chatting with his parents and I would love to go

17:30

back, but may have to turn down the next

17:32

invite because the secondhand embarrassment

17:35

is too much. I'm considering

17:37

telling him

17:37

that he treats them poorly, but

17:40

I worry about messing up our friendship.

17:42

What should I do?

17:43

So I do have advice. Oh, good.

17:46

I have advice for Kat and I

17:48

would say, Kat, I know you're worried about messing

17:50

up your friendship, but guess what? It's already messed

17:53

up.

17:53

Mm hmm. Good.

17:55

So you need to talk

17:57

to your friend who's behaving so badly.

18:00

and explain to him that he needs

18:02

to change his ways. You can

18:04

do it kindly, but you should do it in

18:06

a straightforward manner and he'll be the better

18:08

for it, hopefully. And if he's not, then

18:11

you know what you're dealing with. I'm all for

18:13

it. And the thing that came to mind

18:15

is, obviously

18:17

you don't know the ins and outs

18:20

of family dynamics. And

18:22

so I'm all for directly confronting

18:25

your friend, but

18:28

what I would personally do is say,

18:31

I'm curious if there is

18:33

some sort of old issues that you

18:35

have with your family that's causing that, because

18:40

I had such a really nice time with your parents and it just

18:42

seemed like you were on edge. And

18:44

maybe that can open the conversation if

18:47

he's like, yeah, well, my dad does

18:49

this, or

18:52

my mom did that, and I have some

18:54

hang up around this. And then you could maybe transition

18:57

into, yeah, it

18:59

was a little uncomfortable for me.

19:02

Or if he's just like, oh, was I doing that? It's

19:04

old like childhood, who knows? It

19:08

would just open a conversation instead

19:10

of just saying you can't do that. Oh,

19:12

I agree completely. And that's when I met by

19:14

kindly. There's

19:18

a way in that might be very fruitful

19:21

for everybody. Yeah, whether you make it current, like,

19:23

oh, I don't know if you were maybe in an argument with

19:25

them that weekend, or if you have old issues in

19:29

the family, I just picked up that things

19:32

didn't feel great. And I'm curious to have

19:34

this conversation.

19:38

I'm curious to know how that conversation goes if

19:40

she has

19:40

it. Yeah. I'd like an update. Okay,

19:42

well, Kat, Dave may be rude, but

19:46

you're very considerate

19:48

writing in. And please call Julia directly and

19:54

give her an update how things go after

19:56

that conversation. Yep.

19:59

Julia, stay right where you are. We'll be back

20:02

with more questions

20:03

after a short break.

20:32

And we're back. Julia,

20:34

this next question is about keeping

20:36

the spark alive. Nikki

20:39

writes, when it comes to suggesting

20:42

sexy time, my husband and I...

20:44

Oh dear. Oh dear. Julia

20:46

just fell off her chair. My husband

20:49

and I tend to follow an old pattern.

20:52

We get a little raunchy, blunt,

20:55

and sarcastic. It's kind

20:58

of funny, but not actually a turn on.

21:00

What are some fun new ways for

21:03

long-term couples to flirt with each

21:05

other? Nikki,

21:08

I have to say, such an odd... I

21:12

don't even see Julia anymore. She's

21:14

under her table laughing. This

21:17

is affected by show,

21:20

is it? Well,

21:23

I was going to say, I don't think I've ever gotten

21:25

a question like this. Why

21:27

are we getting this question? I

21:30

don't know. I

21:33

don't know Nikki. I only know Nikki's problem.

21:36

What did she say? Raunchy... Yeah,

21:38

she gets raunchy, blunt, and sarcastic.

21:42

And it's not fun. Oh no, it's kind

21:44

of funny, but not a turn on. But

21:46

they're still powering through it. So

21:48

it's not a turn on, but they're still angling

21:51

for sexy time. Do

21:55

we need to change sexy time?

21:57

Uh-huh. Can we call it something else? Uh-huh.

22:02

I mean for me that I

22:05

have to say is it

22:07

turn off sexy time sexy

22:09

time? It's not going to work for me. What

22:11

do you call it? Uh,

22:13

what do I call it? Plowing

22:16

each other Yeah getting

22:18

down with a get down. Yeah getting

22:20

down with the get down plowing each other across

22:23

town. Yeah, right, you know, uh getting

22:26

it on um

22:29

Our brains out bump

22:31

and uglies

22:36

Oh my gosh now

22:39

we're doing raunchy talk if stephanie

22:41

walks by my office and hears me Saying

22:44

plowing you across town or bump

22:46

and ugly because she knows i'm talking to you right

22:48

now and she or Our

22:50

brains out there's that too till your head

22:53

pops off is right. It's another one.

22:55

That sounds good Maybe that's what

22:57

it is. It's all rooted in finding

23:00

a new word for sexy time. I think

23:02

it's semantics Nikki if you were

23:04

to say to your husband Look

23:06

i'm gonna plow you across town until

23:09

your head pops off If that does

23:11

not work, yeah, nothing will nothing

23:13

will that

23:15

Should I think that'll work?

23:17

Nikki everyone gets a little raunchy

23:20

blunt and sarcastic once in a while, but it's

23:22

good to mix it up No more sexy

23:24

time no more sexy time. Yeah,

23:27

but more Plowing to your

23:29

head pops off time. How about that

23:32

plowing to your head pops off? Julia

23:36

this next Listener question

23:39

comes from an anonymous listener who

23:41

will call megan Megan

23:43

writes I am a divorced woman

23:46

in my early 40s and i'm attracted

23:48

to my boss's boss I

23:50

see him infrequently, but when I do

23:52

I feel like there's a mutual interest there I

23:55

will be leaving my job in a few months to

23:57

go to law school and i'm wondering how I can

23:59

make a move I know that he's divorced,

24:02

but I don't know if he is currently single.

24:04

I will most likely see him

24:06

at a company-wide event soon, but

24:08

I don't know how to let him know I'm interested.

24:11

The best I can come up with is to

24:14

slip him a note.

24:15

Help."

24:16

Julia's shaking her head frantically.

24:19

I don't know if slipping a note is the way to do

24:21

it. Does Meghan know about

24:23

sexy time? Plowing

24:29

across town until your head pops off? Yeah.

24:33

How did you get together with your husband? You

24:35

didn't slip him a note? No, I

24:37

didn't slip him a note, but

24:40

I could tell he liked me and he

24:43

rubbed my feet once. We were in a show

24:45

together and he rubbed my feet and

24:47

I really just dug

24:49

him a lot. Then

24:52

we played tennis a couple of times and

24:55

I was just immediately smitten. I hope he

24:58

rubbed your feet after the tennis game. Oh

25:00

yeah, he rubbed plenty of things

25:03

and it all worked out good. Did

25:08

somebody invite someone to play tennis

25:10

because there was an attraction? Yes. I

25:13

can't use my example because Stephanie and I met

25:16

on the movie In a World. We played

25:18

love interest and now we're married

25:21

with kids and with a production

25:24

company and three cats. Wow. So

25:27

I can't promise that outcome

25:29

for everyone. But

25:31

what

25:31

about tennis? What

25:34

about tennis?

25:36

Yes. So what

25:38

about Meghan at the

25:40

conference?

25:41

Do they have a tennis court? Can

25:43

she say, hey, do

25:45

you play tennis, boss of my boss?

25:48

Would you like to hit the ball around?

25:50

See what happens. Hit the balls around. You

25:53

got it. Let's say Meghan

25:55

does not play tennis. And

25:59

then maybe he's... says, yes, let's

26:01

play tennis. Then Megan, you say

26:04

great, please teach me. Exactly.

26:06

And then it's so obvious that you like

26:08

him. But even saying let's play tennis. And

26:11

then the other if he's like, oh, I don't

26:13

know how to play, then you say, nor do

26:16

I. So would coffee be better? Huh? Oh,

26:19

nice. What about that smooth

26:22

move? I like

26:24

it. Megan, I'm excited.

26:27

Or just drop it off at

26:29

nor do I. That is sexy

26:31

time right there. And then do the eyebrows

26:33

up and down. Right.

26:36

Okay. And then make this noise. And

26:40

then right off on your horse. And

26:44

never exchange numbers. Just ask

26:46

him to play tennis. Get on your

26:49

horse and be like, and

26:51

then leave. Okay, I don't think

26:53

there's anything else we could. Sure fire. Yeah.

26:57

Someone's gonna be pregnant soon. Okay.

27:00

Now, Julia. Yeah. On

27:02

a more serious note, you

27:05

were diagnosed with breast cancer in 2017.

27:07

Correct. And in 2018, announced you were cancer

27:12

free. Hmm. Our last

27:15

listener question is from

27:17

a listener who is in the midst of their

27:19

own experience with breast cancer.

27:23

Dear, your rights, dear Tig,

27:25

you've made me laugh and cry

27:27

and cry with laughter more times than

27:29

I can count. I'm writing to

27:31

you because I was recently diagnosed with

27:34

breast cancer and soon I'll be having

27:36

a bilateral mastectomy. I'm

27:39

scared and overwhelmed. It

27:41

would mean the world to me if

27:44

you wouldn't mind sharing some wisdom with

27:46

a fellow traveler. Well,

27:49

first of all, I am very

27:52

sorry that you're going through this and

27:55

it is scary. I mean, I was scared.

27:57

I, you know, personally

27:59

had also a build-up

28:01

of other things going on in my life

28:03

at the time and it was such a

28:06

confusing... I

28:09

always tell people that it feels like you have

28:11

to have a medical degree to

28:14

understand everything that you're going

28:16

through. And I hope that

28:19

you are bringing somebody with

28:21

you to your appointments because I think

28:24

having that kind of support is

28:26

really, really helpful. To take

28:28

notes, to be by your side, and

28:31

also I just want to really encourage

28:34

people and I know not everyone's

28:36

like this, but it was such a turning point in my

28:38

life because I was so shut off. I

28:40

was so not really open

28:42

to other people's help and I

28:44

truly left the hospital with these

28:47

incisions in my chest like, I'm good,

28:49

I can take care of myself, and my friends

28:51

are like, we're staying

28:53

the night, we're staying with you. And

28:55

I was like, no, no, no, I got it and I couldn't

28:57

even lift my arms. But

29:00

opening myself to help

29:02

and people want to give

29:05

and they want to give back and they want to help

29:07

and it's such an unbelievable

29:10

experience to accept help.

29:13

And again, this might not be an issue for

29:16

you, Deirdre, but if it is, what

29:18

I can say is make yourself

29:21

open to accepting help

29:23

from others because it makes everyone

29:26

feel better through this process. And

29:29

it changed my life fully. And

29:31

Julie, I don't know if there's anything that

29:33

you want to add from your own experience

29:36

or... Well, I certainly agree

29:38

with everything you've just said and sometimes

29:40

accepting help is a challenge of itself.

29:43

Yeah. And having an advocate there

29:46

is a must. And a lot of hospitals

29:48

actually have advocates that

29:51

can help you through the process at the hospital

29:53

if you don't have a friend or family member. I

29:56

would also say that

29:58

I was just so... terrified

30:00

to have my surgery

30:03

and now it's in the rearview mirror. So

30:07

this too shall pass you

30:09

will get through it and let's

30:13

just get the cancerous tissue

30:15

out so you can get on with your life. Yes,

30:17

so believe it or not, it will

30:20

get better even though it feels daunting

30:22

as hell right now. Mm-hmm But

30:25

it's definitely a very

30:26

scary thing. There's just no getting around

30:28

it

30:29

Yeah, and I would say as scary

30:32

as it was I still think

30:34

back to the day that I was diagnosed as

30:36

a positive in my life because

30:41

it was caught and because

30:43

I was able to turn the ship around right

30:46

and I celebrate July 25th every year where

30:48

I'm like that

30:50

is my cancer diagnosis date and

30:53

that is when Everything

30:55

changed I mean everything was changing

30:58

already with so many other things but

31:00

I I really really

31:03

feel tremendously lucky that

31:05

I was able to have

31:08

treatment I could go on forever about

31:11

it, but I just want to say if there's a way to To

31:14

look at things in that way Yeah

31:16

that you've been able to catch this and

31:18

that you're getting medical treatment and you're

31:20

getting rid of it Yeah, getting rid of it. I

31:23

think that's a very important point, right?

31:25

So Deirdre Julia and

31:27

I are in your corner. Be sure

31:30

to keep us updated on how you're

31:32

doing Julia we have

31:35

one last segment. Okay before I let you go.

31:37

Okay, this is advice

31:39

of the Austria

31:42

When Jerry brags about taking

31:44

Ginny out He learns that she dates

31:47

all the boys so as we see now Memstration

31:50

is just one routine step

31:52

in a normal and natural cycle.

31:55

How do you choose a date? Well, one thing

31:57

you can consider is look I did everything

31:59

said, but my boss still hasn't asked

32:02

me to lunch. On

32:04

advice of yesteryear, we take a person's

32:06

problem that they sent to an advice

32:08

columnist long ago and try

32:11

to give a better response. This

32:13

question from a reader calling

32:15

themselves, quote, an old-fashioned

32:18

mother has the headline obscene

32:21

humor repulsive in women and

32:24

was sent to advice columnist Dorothy

32:26

Dix in April Oh,

32:29

whoa. An

32:32

old-fashioned mother writes, what

32:34

do you think of a mother whose sense of

32:37

humor causes her to relate jokes

32:39

of such obscenely revolting

32:41

nature as to make even a

32:44

man blush? She indulges

32:46

in this bar room in the

32:49

presence of her sons and daughters

32:51

and their girlfriends and boyfriends. Her

32:53

daughters do not seem to be embarrassed

32:56

by it, but their boyfriends visibly

32:58

suffer. Interesting. Yeah.

33:01

Do you have any thoughts or feelings about

33:03

this? Are you an old-fashioned mother?

33:06

I'd like to hang with that lady who's

33:09

making all the obscene comments. I

33:12

think she sounds like a guess and a half.

33:15

And yeah, it sounds like her daughters

33:18

dig her as well as they should. She's

33:20

body. She's in

33:23

your face. She's got an opinion.

33:25

And you can f*** off if you don't get it. And I'm

33:27

with her. I am with her. Do

33:31

you agree with me about that? Of course.

33:33

I mean, I was raised by a mother who told

33:35

me

33:35

to tell everyone,

33:38

everyone around me to go to hell if they have

33:40

a problem with me. And that

33:42

just like... Nice.

33:45

I did not have an old-fashioned mother. Susie

33:47

pulled through for you. Yeah.

33:50

Wait. Yes, Susie. I

33:52

was like, wait. That's your mother. Yes,

33:54

it is. I thought that... Hello. I

33:57

know my mother. I saw it. that

34:00

you were randomly pulling a name out

34:02

of the sky. And I thought,

34:05

well, that's insane. Let me explain something to you. I

34:07

listen to other people when they're talking. Okay,

34:09

I don't. And so I hear what they say. And

34:12

I did ask you earlier

34:14

in the conversation. Okay, what's my grandmother's name? Matt

34:17

Hill. And she went

34:19

by Till. It

34:21

was Till. Yeah. My goodness,

34:24

Julia. So I'll be expecting

34:26

an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner. Thank you

34:28

very much. Thanksgiving dinner

34:31

with who? Susie,

34:34

Till. They're gone. So

34:37

enjoy Thanksgiving alone.

34:43

I'm an adult orphan. Okay,

34:45

so do you wanna hear

34:48

what Dorothy Dix had to say to an old

34:50

fashioned mother back in 1936? You

34:53

bet. I'm afraid I cannot

34:56

give an impartial opinion as

34:58

I loathe filthy stories

35:00

and always feel as if I need to

35:03

be run through the laundry when I have

35:05

been forced to listen to them. To

35:07

me, a woman who tells obscene

35:10

stories is common, vulgar,

35:12

low-minded, and utterly repulsive.

35:17

The end. Well,

35:20

let me tell you what Dorothy Dix needs. A little

35:22

sexy time. She needs to

35:24

be. She needs some round teeth.

35:27

She's not found till her head pops off. Yes.

35:31

That woman needs a good

35:34

old fashioned lay. Yeah,

35:36

a good plowing. A good plowing

35:38

for her. I didn't

35:40

see this episode going the way

35:43

it did

35:44

with

35:48

such a sex vibe. I

35:51

know, it's insane. It's

35:54

truly vulgar. I know. Julia,

35:57

it was an unbelievable

35:59

dream come.

35:59

true to have you on here. Oh, thank

36:02

you. Love you dearly, appreciate

36:04

you dearly. Back at you, I appreciate

36:06

you tremendously and I'm hoping that perhaps

36:09

we'll find a way to get together.

36:11

I would love it. Well, I have your email, so I'll

36:13

email you. Please, please leave me alone.

36:15

Please leave me alone. Sorry to bother you. Do you have

36:17

anything in mind to promote? No.

36:23

You're a terrible person. How does it feel? It

36:25

feels great. I like being this vulgar

36:28

and raunchy and offensive. It

36:30

appeals to me. I guess this episode

36:33

made it clear that I'm not old enough or wise

36:35

enough to ever be on your show, but I'll

36:38

still email you. Well, when you're 115, right

36:41

before you pass, I'll

36:43

have you on. When you're 110. No, I'm

36:45

older than you. I know. I know.

36:48

You're just trying to be nice. I am.

36:50

Didn't work. That was my attempt. Julia,

36:53

thank you so much for being here. Thanks

36:55

for having me. I'll see you soon. Yeah, you

36:57

better. Bye. Bye.

37:48

Don't Ask Tig is hosted by

37:50

me, Tig Notaro. It's produced

37:52

by Thomas Willett and Shana Deloria.

37:55

Our executive producer and editor

37:57

is Beth Perlman.

37:59

mixing by Alex Simpson, Derek

38:02

Ramirez, Josh Savageau,

38:05

and Evan Clark. Digital production

38:07

by James Napoli. Talent booking

38:10

by Marianne Ways. Our theme

38:12

music is Friend in Pig

38:14

by Edie Burkell and Kyle Crescent.

38:17

And Listen to Your Heart by Edie Burkell.

38:19

Special thanks to Hunter Seidman. APM

38:22

Studios executives

38:23

in charge are Chandra Cavati,

38:26

Alex Shaffert, and Joanne Griffith.

38:29

Concept developed by Tracy Mumford.

38:31

Our executive consultant is Dean Capello

38:34

and Gobsmack Studios. You

38:36

can always ask for advice at DontAskPig.org.

38:39

Just write in with your problem or send

38:41

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38:47

is a production of American Public

38:49

Media. And as always, thanks

38:52

Dana and I'll tell thanks.