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374: Shorter, And Worse, But More Authentic

374: Shorter, And Worse, But More Authentic

Released Wednesday, 25th October 2023
 1 person rated this episode
374: Shorter, And Worse, But More Authentic

374: Shorter, And Worse, But More Authentic

374: Shorter, And Worse, But More Authentic

374: Shorter, And Worse, But More Authentic

Wednesday, 25th October 2023
 1 person rated this episode
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

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0:00

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1:13

Hello and welcome

1:14

to Dear Hank and John.

1:16

Or as I prefer to think of it, Dear John and Hank.

1:19

It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give

1:21

you the best advice, and bring you all the week's news from both Mars

1:23

and AFC Wimbledon. John, I

1:26

had months, months

1:30

to remember that I needed a dad joke for this portion

1:32

of the

1:33

show, and I just remembered

1:36

just now. You don't need

1:38

a dad joke, Hank. That actually segs

1:40

nicely into the conversation

1:42

we need to have with our listeners.

1:45

What does it do? It

1:48

segs. Like it's a segue?

1:50

It segues? It segues.

1:53

S-E-G-U-E-S.

1:56

Segues nicely into the conversation

1:58

we need to have. But not S-E-G-G-S.

1:59

Which is a different thing. Okay. What

2:02

we are segwaying our way into,

2:04

Hank, to be grammatically incorrect, to

2:06

apparently please your needs, is

2:10

that we need to have a talk with our

2:12

listeners about the future of

2:14

this podcast. So, Hank,

2:18

you had cancer. Yeah,

2:21

I mean the past tense is kinda messy, but

2:24

okay. Well, right,

2:26

fair enough. You are currently

2:29

diagnosed as in remission from cancer.

2:31

Yeah. And verb

2:34

tenses are weird, period.

2:37

But this has led, the

2:39

whole cancer thing, I think it's safe to

2:41

say, has led to, I don't

2:44

wanna say a midlife crisis, but

2:46

a- Hopefully. We're

2:48

hoping. That's

2:51

exactly the kind of thing

2:54

that is supposed to be something I say.

2:56

Not something you say. And

2:59

yet we've ended up in this universe. Exactly,

3:02

this weird role reversal, where suddenly

3:04

you're the one obsessed with mortality,

3:07

is strange and surreal

3:10

and part of a larger phenomenon where

3:13

we have both, I think it's safe

3:15

to say, kind of rethought

3:17

our relationship with being alive

3:20

over the last six months. The same six

3:22

months we haven't been making this podcast.

3:25

Yeah. John,

3:28

how do you get an elephant on a

3:30

segue?

3:31

Oh, geez.

3:32

Through encouragement. The

3:34

person, no, you take the S out of segue,

3:37

and then you take the F out of way.

3:40

There's no F. Oh,

3:43

like you get the F out of the way? No,

3:45

you were so close, you almost did it!

3:47

You were really frustrating for me, John!

3:50

I don't- You take the F out of way.

3:54

There is no F in way. Yeah! There

3:58

it is. Oh, God. Okay,

4:03

when you when you require audience

4:05

participation for a dad joke to work, you

4:07

should never expect it to work. But

4:10

my point is that we don't even need dad jokes,

4:12

because we're changing the fundamental nature

4:14

of this podcast to be more in line with

4:16

the fundamental nature of who we are

4:19

now after this experience.

4:22

I mean, I just made the noise. So

4:25

I don't know how significantly

4:27

we've changed. But okay, where I

4:30

agree, we should take it, we should take a step back

4:32

and we should look at it from 30,000 feet, we should take the opportunity

4:34

and we to imagine exactly what we're doing. We've

4:37

already done that. And we just

4:39

need to tell the people about that. I may have I

4:41

may have forgotten about that conversation. So

4:43

we're remaking the podcast, Hank, we are

4:45

reinventing Dear Hank and John, not

4:47

quite from scratch, but almost from scratch

4:50

to reflect this new reality

4:53

that we live in. What is the first thing that

4:55

we're doing? The first thing that

4:57

we're doing, john is that

5:00

we're, we're committed, we're

5:02

making a commitment to each other that we're going to record for an hour.

5:05

And if that is for like,

5:07

two and a half hours, yeah, we're

5:09

not going to record for two and a half hours. First,

5:12

we're just not going to do that. Because we want this to be

5:14

more of an authentic experience. Anyway, like

5:16

that's part of what I've come away from it thinking

5:18

is that like, what people really value about Dear Hank and

5:21

john is not actually our high quality comedy

5:23

bits. Right. And that surprised

5:25

me because they are such high quality. What

5:28

people value is the conversation between two

5:30

brothers who love each other a lot. Right.

5:33

And that's what we're going to provide. Yeah.

5:36

And like, well, we're gonna let what happens happens during that

5:38

hour. But if it results

5:40

in a 30 minute long episode of Dear Hank and john,

5:43

that's great. And we're happy with that. We're

5:45

not thinking, boy, we're really letting

5:48

people down or boy, I'm not happy with

5:50

how that turned out because there's not enough usable stuff in

5:52

that episode. We're thinking dope.

5:55

We recorded for 45 minutes in the episodes 44 minutes

5:58

long,

5:59

or we're recorded for an hour

6:01

and

6:02

the episode's an hour long and it's a no-cut

6:04

special. But the main

6:06

thing is that, and this goes

6:09

nicely into point two, which is that we are not

6:11

going to think of Dear Hank and John as work. And

6:14

indeed it's not work in the sense that we don't get paid

6:16

for it. So. Right.

6:20

And like, this is just like a thing that happens,

6:22

you know? Like at first it's like, oh, let's just do

6:24

the goofs. And then it

6:26

starts to be, oh, well, the goofs are going so

6:28

well that like we should make sure that then

6:31

in addition to the goofs, there's ad placements

6:33

and then there's people relying on things to

6:36

happen. And then it's. And

6:38

we're still going to have ads. Stressing. Yeah.

6:41

Yeah. But like. But

6:43

like none of that money goes to Hank and me. It goes to Complexly, which I guess is a company that

6:45

indirectly does pay both Hank and me something.

6:48

But like, it's not, you know, we're not reliant

6:50

on, it's not reliant on that money to

6:52

pay us our salaries. It's not like a direct through

6:55

to from one to the other. Yes, exactly.

6:57

And the yeah, but but also to

6:59

some extent, like, you know, what once something

7:01

becomes a thing where people, you

7:04

know, internally at Complexly, like there's infrastructure

7:06

for like sending us the ad placements and making

7:08

sure that the thing. And so like we have to

7:11

be respectful of the needs of the

7:13

people who like can't do their jobs if we don't do the

7:16

things at the right times. So that makes it more of a

7:18

job. And we're still going to be doing that. Like

7:20

if if Kelsey needs us to do an ad

7:22

read and needs it by Wednesday, she's gonna

7:24

have a we're gonna do it by Wednesday. Yeah, right. Absolutely.

7:28

But the but but during this part, I'm

7:30

gonna think about any of that. That's not

7:33

I just want to have fun with my brother.

7:35

Yeah.

7:36

That's what I want. I want to have fun with my brother

7:39

and I'm not going to think about that stuff, which was

7:41

what we've been doing, which is but like there

7:43

has been some extra pressure. Yeah. And

7:46

I think sometimes we're like, how do we make this thing really good? Right?

7:48

So we're gonna market it better. And look, here's

7:51

how we're gonna market it better. If you guys if you

7:53

listening want to tell people about Dear Hank and John, you

7:55

can. That's 100% of the marketing

7:57

that we're gonna do. Yeah.

8:00

Please do things if

8:02

you want to clip us and put it on tiktok

8:04

and do lip syncs. Yeah, I might Do

8:07

a lip sync of my own voice, right? Sure,

8:10

of course, and then I'll do John's voice But

8:12

I'll be I'll have a filter on that

8:14

makes my mouth really small. Yeah, that

8:17

sounds great Yeah, and yeah And by the

8:19

way, if you don't want to tell people you

8:21

know about this podcast because you're embarrassed

8:23

that you listen to it That's also fine. That's okay And

8:26

I certainly don't want you to tell people about the podcast

8:28

who aren't cool Because one of the great things about

8:31

this podcast is that everybody who listens to

8:33

it I like and I don't want you to tell

8:35

people who I'm not gonna like about

8:37

the podcast Please don't because that's

8:39

the new vibe the new vibe is we're not trying to get

8:41

a million downloads a month We're trying

8:43

to make sure that people who suck don't

8:45

listen to this podcast Yeah,

8:50

there's so many there's so many podcasts for them Hank

8:52

because this is the hour a week Where

8:55

we're just brothers hanging out and

8:57

talking to each other with people we

8:59

adore

9:01

Yeah,

9:02

whoo. All right. The third

9:04

thing that's changing and This

9:06

is gonna be a bummer for some of you. Yes Is

9:11

that we're no longer doing the news from Mars Nancy

9:14

Wimbledon just kidding It's actually gonna be most

9:16

mostly news from Mars and a few Wimbledon this week

9:19

There's a lot to catch up on so much

9:21

has happened on Mars in the last six months. Holy

9:23

crap. Oh my god I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it justice.

9:26

I and indeed I can't do a FC Wimbledon's

9:28

endless drama justice, but The

9:32

we are not gonna do this weekend

9:34

stuff our hit patreon only

9:36

podcast any longer Yeah, basically

9:39

we're scaling back the patreon We

9:41

the thing about the patreon that we think brings the

9:44

most value and that we really love is

9:47

Doing these monthly live streams

9:49

with our listeners That's the thing that we really

9:51

love and think is super valuable and we're

9:53

gonna continue to do that We're

9:56

not gonna do this five-minute silly podcast every

9:58

week because we're focusing on

10:01

each other and doing

10:03

stuff together that we hope will be fun

10:06

for everybody. Yeah,

10:08

it was kind of like so first of all, I

10:10

don't you don't get a lot of feedback with

10:12

any podcast, you know, a YouTube video,

10:14

you get immediate within the four

10:17

minutes of it being uploaded, somebody's watched the whole thing and

10:19

they're leaving a comment with

10:22

so much of what we do, that is the way that it works. We

10:25

don't we get and we get feedback for Dear Hank and John

10:27

in the form of questions and interactions. We

10:29

know people are out there. This weekend stuff

10:31

has always felt a little bit like shouting

10:34

into the void. Yeah, and I know

10:36

that it's not I know that there are people who are

10:38

who are listening to it and are enjoying

10:40

it and those old episodes will stay up if

10:42

you become a patron, you'll get access to the old episodes.

10:46

But also we hit the like we finished

10:49

the podcast. This is what happens. We finished

10:51

the podcast, and we we do

10:53

our little outro and then we stopped

10:55

for like, five seconds and

10:58

then I we start this weekend stuff.

11:01

And it's like, I don't know it like

11:03

like the arc it ruined the

11:05

arc like work again, it ruins the arc. It ruins

11:07

the vibe. And this, this is what

11:09

it's all about now is holding

11:12

on to that arc. Yeah, I'm really

11:14

excited about these changes, even though

11:16

I know that it's going to be a bummer for some people. But

11:19

I and the other thing is that we're probably not going to be

11:21

every week anymore.

11:23

Because we're going to be when

11:25

we can do it.

11:27

Yeah, we're having we've had a little bit of

11:29

trouble because our schedules changed during the

11:32

hiatus. We've just like had

11:34

a hard time finding the right answer.

11:36

You know, I would argue that my schedule

11:38

changed during the hiatus, your schedule

11:41

evaporated. Yeah,

11:45

yeah. So but we collectively,

11:48

oh, okay, I put it on a new person. Sure,

11:50

sure, sure. Yeah.

11:52

Once again, I'm trying to present myself

11:55

as the protagonist of your cancer journey,

11:57

Hank. And I feel like not

11:59

enough. Not to put it all on you not enough

12:02

people have bought into this narrative and it's

12:04

really frustrating for me That

12:06

the main person who was shaped by

12:08

hank's cancer was john I

12:11

mean it didn't have no effect right

12:13

but I I but again I feel like a lot

12:15

of people have put you at the center hank's

12:18

cancer hank's survivorship

12:21

hank's cancer journey

12:24

Where's john's hank's cancer? Yeah,

12:26

I think we should but I really should have renamed

12:28

it Like john kens lymphoma Yeah,

12:36

I I mean I prefer to think of it as john

12:38

and hank trilymphoma You

12:42

know that was actually on the table Uh

12:45

that the triguys would come to mezula

12:47

and we do a triguys trichymotherapy But

12:49

i'd be like an honorary triguys for a day And

12:52

they come in and we do chemotherapy and see what that

12:54

would be like. I love that It did not

12:56

work out because as it turns out getting

12:58

chemotherapy Is really

13:00

exhausting and sucks and and as

13:03

as they told me how it would work. I was like no Way,

13:06

right you coming to do this like

13:09

i'm gonna be in my backyard sleeping

13:12

During when you would like me to be doing

13:14

things Aside from that. Yeah,

13:17

it was a great idea. It would have been really cool. It's a great

13:19

idea um, but man chemo

13:22

Knocks you out. I was It

13:25

was a real among the things that have been

13:27

weird for me Was

13:29

seeing hank take a nap like hank didn't even

13:31

take naps when when he was two. I

13:34

took so many naps. Yeah Uh,

13:36

yeah, the only times I take naps are

13:39

uh when I have Am actively

13:41

undergoing cancer treatment and when i'm on a boat. Oh, that's

13:44

true. That's true I have seen you

13:46

take a lot of boat naps, but they are really same reason

13:49

Yeah, I feel like i'm gonna hurl. Yeah, the

13:51

boat naps never felt to me like naps

13:53

more like And I guess it's true with the chemo

13:56

naps too. It's more like an enforced

13:58

sleep You

14:00

know Yeah,

14:03

yeah Being Hank on a boat is

14:05

actually pretty similar to seeing seeing you

14:08

on chemo Like you're not all there

14:10

emotionally or like intellectually,

14:12

you know Like there's a lot of you

14:15

that's just kind of like in a little bit of a state

14:17

of misery Yeah, the last

14:19

time I was on a boat was wild because

14:22

I I went on this whale watching trip with Catherine

14:24

Yeah, and it was a surprise and she was like

14:26

you really want to do this and I'm like, let's go No And

14:29

and but it was a surprise so neither of us were

14:31

dressed well for it because Catherine would have made

14:34

sure I was dressed Well, if she had known about it and

14:36

she herself also would have dressed better for the occasion

14:39

So we were both very cold on the way out. Everything's

14:41

fine on the way back I had to go like sit in the

14:44

back of the boat But then this one

14:46

of the crew was like you're Hank Green Oh No

14:48

talking to me Oh, like a long

14:50

time when I'm clearly clearly

14:53

in the back of the boat for a reason No,

14:56

when I'm on a boat, the only question is is

14:58

it going off the side or off the back?

15:00

Yeah, I'm not a boat man. No,

15:03

which is a blessing,

15:05

you know I don't know. It seems

15:07

like some of the boat people have great lives.

15:10

I like they're having a good old time I like enough

15:12

expensive stuff without getting into

15:14

boats. You know what I mean? There's

15:17

cheap ways. Yeah. Well,

15:19

I mean I had the boats. I hear what you're saying. I have

15:22

a kayak Yeah, if

15:24

that's yeah, that's being in the boats like

15:26

I'm good. I'm covered I enjoy kayaking

15:29

on the White River and I never feel seasick

15:31

when I'm kayaking on the White River for whatever reason

15:33

But you put me on a proper boat with

15:35

an engine. I do not have a good time.

15:38

Yeah There is no way to

15:40

get from the Freetown International

15:42

Airport to Freetown

15:44

in Sierra Leone Without going on a boat

15:47

and I know what you're wondering That

15:49

doesn't make any sense. Well, it makes sense

15:51

if you were a colonial enterprise

15:54

Founding an airport that you want

15:57

to be separate from the people. Yeah,

15:59

and so This is this is where

16:01

it was set up and now where

16:03

it still is all these Decades

16:06

later and so you have to

16:08

go on a boat and I'll tell you Getting

16:11

off like a 30-hour airplane trip

16:13

and getting on a boat is not

16:16

my not my Most glorious

16:19

moment in terms of likelihood that I'm gonna vomit

16:21

Well, John if you do want to get into boats, I have

16:23

good news for you I just saw this article

16:25

that went viral on Twitter Twitter That the

16:28

headline is turning the tide the

16:30

sustainable future of super yachts Well,

16:37

I mean a couple couple observations I

16:39

actually am I'm actually not as

16:41

concerned about the sustainable future of super

16:44

yachts as I am concerned about the fact that you're

16:46

still on Twitter Yeah,

16:51

yeah, I mean I will say

16:53

that whatever They're

16:55

doing over there at Twitter comm

16:57

it is making it less compelling

16:59

than me like I am NOT drawn

17:02

in Anymore. I

17:04

still see you tweet quite a bit. I have to say

17:06

and that implies of course that I'm

17:09

on Twitter How

17:11

do you see him John? I see him

17:13

the old-fashioned way Hank on Twitter,

17:15

which is a problem I but I

17:17

think the difference between us is that I accept

17:20

that there's something horrifically wrong with

17:22

me I Accepted

17:27

you're right. This is a terrible terrible

17:30

Personal failure you're right Cuz

17:32

I really I really do think that like

17:34

I like look back at the last ten years

17:37

of my life And I'm like, you know the amount of time I spent on

17:39

Twitter probably appropriate Wow.

17:41

Are you serious? Yeah, I had

17:43

that thought this morning. Holy. I mean that is

17:46

astonishing I don't or at least I

17:49

don't regret it is the feeling I

17:51

have I Regret it have 100%

17:54

regret it. I regret Twitter. Yeah, I regret

17:56

like every everything I've invested into Twitter

17:58

emotionally the power

18:01

that I've given over to the platform. I regret all

18:03

of it. Now, I will say, like, great things

18:05

have been done through and by

18:07

Twitter. I don't want to take anything away from that, including,

18:10

like, one of the things that happened

18:12

while we

18:13

quit the podcast was that our community

18:15

had several hundred millions of dollars

18:18

of impact in reducing the price of the

18:21

cost of tuberculosis, diagnostics, and

18:23

treatments. And some of that

18:25

might not have happened without Twitter. I

18:28

think that Twitter mattered in that. It's weird

18:30

how people feel like what happens on

18:32

Twitter matters in

18:36

a bigger way than things that happen on other social

18:38

media platforms. It

18:41

feels clear. Yeah.

18:44

And I don't, like, I don't have my finger

18:47

on why it feels that way. It feels that way to me, too.

18:50

But it also feels that way to other folks. And

18:52

so that, yeah, I was, frankly,

18:55

I haven't said this publicly, but kind of astounded

18:57

at the level of

19:00

sensitivity to

19:02

the signal that those

19:05

people and organizations had. It felt

19:09

pretty empowering and very, I also

19:12

maybe haven't, I have

19:14

said this publicly, but, like, I am

19:17

amazed by the work that

19:19

we got done during

19:21

those efforts. And

19:24

I am also extremely proud of you

19:27

because I know what went

19:29

into that, both in terms of educating yourself

19:31

and behind the scenes work. It's

19:34

legitimately astounding.

19:37

I'm astounded. Yeah, no, it's

19:40

definitely the weirdest thing that's

19:42

ever happened to me and some weird things have happened to me.

19:45

Thank you, Hank. As I've said

19:47

a million times, but it's very true. Like, none of this

19:49

happened in a vacuum. And if it weren't for

19:52

Partners in Health and Doctors Without Borders

19:54

and the Treatment Action Group and thousands

19:56

of nerdfighters who've now organized themselves

19:59

as TB fighters. than none

20:01

of that would have happened. So it's not

20:04

by any means a story primarily about me, but

20:06

I am really glad to be part of

20:08

it. And looking forward,

20:11

there are so many other ways that we

20:13

need to improve access

20:15

to TV treatment. So the

20:18

work is by no means done. So those are,

20:20

I think, the main things that are

20:22

changing about the podcast. Yeah. I

20:25

do not know to what, like,

20:28

I've done a little bit of talking behind the scenes

20:30

with people and I know that folks are

20:32

not enthusiastic about losing

20:34

this week and stuff. But

20:37

I don't know how big of a deal that

20:39

is to folks. But I do

20:42

agree that for us anyway, like, that by

20:44

far the most valuable and rewarding Patreon

20:47

thing has been the monthly

20:49

live streams. Yeah. And we'll keep

20:51

doing that. And so many people show up for those. Yeah. It's

20:53

just a good old time. It's just great. So to summarize,

20:55

as of today, Dear Hank and John will

20:58

be shorter and

21:00

worse. That's,

21:03

it'll be more authentic, at

21:05

least. I do, surely

21:09

enough, and worse, have a question that

21:11

I found that I do want to ask you from

21:13

our list. Do you want to do one listener question today? Absolutely.

21:16

I'll do 16. I'm here for an

21:18

hour. You have my full attention. Okay.

21:22

This is from Duncan, who the subject

21:24

caught my eye and says, I want to destroy

21:26

a thatched roof in a wind tunnel. And

21:29

I'm like, yeah, you do. Yeah, of course. Hi

21:31

there. Duncan says, I'm one of the

21:34

only roof thatchers in the United

21:36

States. I've been doing a job in coastal

21:38

Georgia for the past month. And I've been wondering

21:40

what the wind speed required to tear apart a thatched

21:43

roof is. I've heard that they'll hold up better

21:45

than other materials, but I only have anecdotal

21:47

evidence for that. One of our roofs in

21:49

Denville, New Jersey held up pretty well to

21:52

Hurricane Sandy, better than any of the other

21:54

shingled roofs around it. Another roof that

21:56

we're re-thatching right now on Cape Cod was fine

21:59

during the... a bomb cyclone that washed

22:01

boats up on shore and flipped boards

22:04

over our on our scaffold.

22:06

Question has been eaten me alive. I can't stop thinking

22:08

about it. Willing to answer any questions you

22:10

might have about roof thatching and I'm also

22:13

willing to thatch a small roof free

22:15

of charge if you can help me destroy

22:18

it. Oh I thought

22:20

it was I'm actually in the need of a roof

22:22

and so for a second I was really excited.

22:25

I was like yeah I don't care what the

22:27

material is and they'll do it for free.

22:29

I mean it sounds like Duncan goes

22:31

all over the place. Yeah so yeah Indianapolis

22:34

needs a stronger thatched roof

22:36

community anyway. Yeah the first thing this makes

22:39

me think is is it

22:41

possible that we've had the story

22:43

of the three little pigs wrong all along.

22:46

Right. That in fact because

22:48

what are the three little pigs there's the one that's got the thatch

22:50

cut. Straw, straw, wood and

22:52

brick. That's basically thatch. Straw, wood and brick. I

22:55

think the person with the straw at

22:57

least roof might

22:59

have been better off. We got it Duncan.

23:01

I want you to build a whole

23:04

house of thatch like just big enough

23:06

to fit a little piggy in. Yeah. And then

23:08

we're gonna get a wolf. No. Who

23:10

can blow really hard. Well a leaf blower.

23:13

Yeah I actually don't think we need the wolf. I

23:15

think we can have a non-mammalian

23:18

source of wind if

23:21

you will. Uh-huh. That's

23:23

I think actually Duncan proposes that with the wind

23:26

tunnel or a leaf blower might work. A

23:28

really high power leaf blower. Just a bunch of leaf blowers yeah.

23:31

What is the most legally powerful

23:33

leaf blower you can acquire or make?

23:36

Maybe we could talk to our old friend Mark about that. Mark

23:38

was my first thought too. I was like

23:40

Mark Rover knows the

23:42

limitations of a leaf blower all like

23:45

already just it's already in his

23:47

head. This is a great Mark Rover

23:49

video. Forget about it. Oh my god

23:52

Mark.

23:54

A real real test

23:56

of the three little tiggies is the best

23:58

Mark Roper video. We've ever come up

24:00

with oh, yeah Yeah, because because

24:03

first of all you got to hire duncan to build a straw

24:05

house You got to hire somebody else to do a

24:07

wood house and then you have to hire a different brickler to

24:09

do a brick house But then you have to figure

24:12

out how to create the wind. That's the real

24:14

hard part. Yeah, I agree And

24:17

do you have it just be wind coming in from

24:19

one direction or do you have it sort of a circular

24:22

wind? Right like it might have different results

24:25

I I have no idea

24:27

the answer to this question, but that's not going to stop

24:29

me from speculating Well, I know that how to how

24:31

to blow the most air Easily

24:34

anyway Great. How do you blow

24:36

the most air you get a jet engine? Okay

24:39

Um, I went to a monster

24:42

truck show something that actually that actually costs more

24:44

than boats Yeah,

24:47

you rent it though, you don't you don't have to buy

24:49

it out, right I went to a monster truck

24:51

show Yeah, and at the monster truck show

24:53

there was an ambulance and I was like that makes

24:55

sense But then the ambulance

24:57

came out on to the monster truck

25:00

area and instead of inside paramedics

25:02

There was an extremely inefficient

25:05

jet engine That shot not only

25:07

a lot of wind but fire

25:10

and they placed a late model sedan

25:13

behind the ambulance and they turned

25:16

it into a Problem

25:18

just like a like a hazardous waste

25:21

problem That I personally

25:23

was like that seems like it shouldn't be

25:25

allowed But I guess it is because

25:28

I just know the like wafting burning

25:30

plastic throughout your Everyone

25:32

in town like it was yeah, not I

25:35

it was a problem but But

25:38

that guy yeah who owns that ambulance.

25:40

Yeah I imagine

25:43

It's not too like the monster truck show

25:45

could afford him. Mark. Rober could definitely

25:47

afford him Can he make a can

25:49

he make wind without making fire because

25:51

that will be an issue for the straw house I

25:54

bet they had to modify the engine to make

25:57

fire. They just have to undo whatever they did. Okay,

25:59

or just not

25:59

I

26:01

don't know. I don't know how it works. I

26:03

don't either but Mark Roeder works. Yeah, absolutely

26:07

Mark even I know a guy with an ambulance

26:09

full of jet engines I don't

26:12

know you know him. Yeah, but

26:14

you think you could get in touch with him I love

26:16

the idea of cold emailing

26:19

the guy who has the ambulance jet

26:21

and Saying listen,

26:23

I'm a youtuber, but I'm an educational

26:26

youtuber. I'm not trying to I'm

26:28

not trying to sell out here. Okay. I'm

26:30

trying to get you to do science

26:32

with me I just want wind I

26:35

just I don't want to explode something I

26:37

have a strong suspicion that uh-huh

26:39

the wood house would actually come in third

26:42

Yeah, I still think the straw house would come in second

26:45

because I don't think wood roofs are that good

26:47

Like that's actually why I need a new roof

26:50

is because I got this cedar shingle roof and I

26:52

don't it's I don't think it's that

26:54

good now. It is old

26:55

but

26:57

I I think a stiff wind

26:59

would definitely blow it off. Yeah. Yeah

27:02

So the question is should it be

27:04

whole house or just roof? You

27:07

know what? Also, you know something I've been thinking

27:09

about ever since I first read it. This is

27:11

off-topic Yeah, but I think about this all

27:13

the time in medieval France.

27:16

Okay When

27:18

I don't know if this is true, but I read

27:20

it in a book about medieval France When

27:23

your neighbors would want to come talk to you,

27:25

they would just lift up your roof Really

27:29

and they'd be like hey, how's it going?

27:32

What's going on here? I feel like you don't know what I'm

27:34

doing in here right now What are you up to today? Well,

27:36

that was a different time in terms of privacy expectations

27:39

Thank you. Your roof could be lifted up at any time

27:41

by any of your neighbors I guess you just you just

27:43

be like, okay, what's up, man? You guys

27:46

come into the

27:47

church later

27:49

the only Entertainment

27:52

in town we do You

27:55

know punch and Judy show something

27:58

unless there's like a traveling theater troupe

31:19

Good

32:00

thing. I can feel it. I can feel it.

32:02

You ever you ever wake up and you're like,

32:04

they turn it up a little bit Do they turn gravity up

32:07

because this is sister's like a lot. Do you feel

32:09

it right now though? Hank we are oh, yeah

32:11

orbiting a star through space. Oh, yeah,

32:13

total vertigo. We are hurtling Yeah,

32:17

oh I'm gonna feel we're gonna feel that real good when we see

32:19

that eclipse that's coming up I oh,

32:21

you know, the uh indianapolis is in the eclipse

32:23

zone. I know i'm gonna be there.

32:25

Oh great. You want to go to racks? for the eclipse

32:37

What are you gonna be for the

32:39

eclipse? The racks? I

32:42

don't have the idea for the eclipse. I'm calling

32:44

up racks and being like hey, can

32:46

we use can we use your roof? I

32:50

want to be on the racks room for the

32:52

eclipse We thought a

32:54

lot about it Look, here's the situation We

32:56

read andy diller's essay about the

32:58

total eclipse and watching it go up the hillside

33:01

and we thought to ourselves What if we could watch it go

33:03

up the racks?

33:06

And they're like no and i'm like

33:08

there's a price for everything exactly like fine

33:10

everything has a price we'll buy your racks That's

33:14

our racks now and it's our right now

33:16

and then i'll sell it back to you the next day because I

33:18

just really don't Want to own a rack one of my

33:20

biggest life ambitions. Hey, we're

33:22

making the podcast a little bit worse and a little bit

33:25

shorter But also we are buying

33:27

a rack And

33:29

we're gonna pour all of our energies into running

33:31

it just like our secret brother dave and

33:33

that wendy's Oh, I wonder if

33:35

the if any of the racks is our inside of the eclipse

33:38

zone Oh, that's a great

33:40

question. Um, in fact, that's

33:43

a great question that i'm gonna I'm gonna

33:45

look you are gonna look Uh It

33:48

only has a 115 mile wide path of totality I

33:52

know and it happens to go over your house.

33:54

It does go over my house

33:56

And it goes over Dayton, Ohio where the racks

33:58

is does it? I don't

34:01

know man. I

34:03

don't know that it goes over my house so

34:06

much as it goes like 30 miles south

34:08

of my house Yeah, we might have to go

34:10

somewhere like racks The

34:16

racks clips

34:17

We

34:21

could I'm looking

34:23

Yeah, it goes right over your nose goes right over

34:25

your house. Okay. I think I don't

34:27

know I think Bloomington, Indiana is pretty

34:29

far south of me and it's on the north side of the 115

34:31

miles No, I mean

34:34

from the map. I'm looking at right now right now. Indianapolis

34:36

is is literally in in the thing.

34:39

Okay. All right Well, then maybe

34:41

you're right, but I'm looking for Dayton and

34:44

I can't I don't know where it oh, yeah It is also Dayton

34:46

is also in the past. Yeah, I think we can

34:48

think about it Yeah,

34:51

I might rather be at my house if I'm being honest

34:53

But we can go to racks the day before and

34:55

eat eat leftover racks while

34:57

watching the apply. Oh, yeah cold

35:00

rack Oh nothing better under

35:02

the

35:03

Cold

35:05

racks in a warm Dr.

35:07

Pepper with under the path of the total

35:10

solar eclipse I mean, I might go for a warm

35:12

beer Cold track warm

35:14

beer never a bit

35:16

Never try to hope it's not cloudy. How often

35:18

is it cloudy in Indianapolis on

35:21

April in April a lot I

35:23

would say 40% of

35:25

the time, but then if it is cloudy, we'll

35:28

just we'll just get in the car and go to racks Because

35:31

Dayton I'm sure all the better weather Well, it's not

35:34

even that if we can't see the eclipse at least

35:36

we can see racks during the eclipse and

35:38

we can look up It's the eclipse will just get dark.

35:40

Yeah at rack. Yeah, don't of the day. Yeah Yeah,

35:43

a rack starkness approaches. Yeah,

35:46

all the people at the racks would be like, what did you guys

35:48

do? I could the only thing is that now

35:50

that we've revealed our now that we've revealed

35:52

our secret strategy is possible that there's going To

35:54

be a large nerdfighter gathering at the racks

35:56

outside of Dayton, Ohio during the eclipse

35:59

get to the rack Oh Hank a lot of people

36:01

can get to the racks. Are you kidding? Well,

36:03

yeah You

36:06

don't think we have any fans near Dayton that's

36:08

a good point there is a whole so there

36:10

are people who live in Dayton Oh, yeah, exactly. Like

36:12

they put a rack stare The

36:15

main reason Yeah

36:21

Yeah, one thing about racks is they didn't

36:23

put them in non populated areas like

36:26

yeah They were at least that smart by the way racks

36:28

is a roast beef restaurant that from the 1980s

36:31

that only has three remaining locations that Hank

36:33

and I are obsessed with but somehow have never visited

36:35

even though we've had plentiful opportunities to Yeah,

36:39

we had we had a whole plan but it got interrupted.

36:41

They got interrupted by cancer like so much

36:43

else in the last year Dear Hank and

36:45

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37:43

This episode of dear hank and John is brought to you by

37:46

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37:48

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gobble. I don't, I don't, I'm not saying that it's particularly

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specifically a Thanksgiving thing.

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You could do Thanksgiving however you want. I just

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started to gobble gobble like a turkey.

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Not really like a turkey. You know,

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like the turkey that's, but they actually go, What do

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that stuff in the fridge, I'm probably not going

38:39

to make dinner at my house. I'm probably going

38:42

to panic at the last minute and get DoorDash or something,

38:44

which is going to cost a lot more money.

38:46

And if HelloFresh delivered though, it's right there

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in the fridge ready for me saying, Hank, it's

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gobble. But

39:16

that reminds me, Hank, that it's time to transition to

39:18

the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon.

39:21

And I know that we have 15 minutes left,

39:24

but there's a lot of news from

39:26

AFC Wimbledon. What

39:28

a weird year. I've missed telling you the news from

39:30

AFC Wimbledon so, so much.

39:34

It feels like all of my

39:36

AFC Wimbledon passion in some ways

39:38

like just goes into a vacuum because

39:40

I can't tell you about it. I've already been to two games

39:42

this season. I took my children

39:45

to Mansfield, which

39:47

is in the middle of England. And

39:50

it was like three hours and 12 minutes

39:53

of train rides, four different trains to

39:55

get to Mansfield. And

39:57

then a long walk, at least according to my daughter.

40:00

on a highway to get to the

40:02

Mansfield FC stadium,

40:04

which is the oldest continually used

40:07

football stadium in existence. And

40:11

I'd never been to an away game before. And

40:13

it was an awesome, awesome experience

40:16

because it's so much louder. Like the

40:18

away fans sing the entire game.

40:20

They never stop. They're very loud. As

40:23

Alice said to me, they're

40:25

loud and they seem drink. And

40:27

I was like, well, first off. That's

40:30

probably right. First off, Alice, no vibe

40:32

check. On vibe check on Saturdays. That

40:35

was a nil-nil draw. I took my kids all

40:38

the way to England. And then I

40:40

made them get on trains for six hours and 24 minutes

40:43

in one day to see a thrilling nil-nil

40:45

draw against Mansfield. But

40:48

we're pretty good this year.

40:49

All right.

40:50

We are good. We're not

40:53

great. We are

40:56

much better than I expected us to

40:58

be. And even

41:00

more surprisingly, pretty fun to watch.

41:05

We play with a real identity, like

41:07

rigid and hardcore

41:10

at the back, but also at the

41:12

same time, good.

41:16

Yeah. Yeah. So

41:19

for a second there, you were in second place. We

41:22

had one game where we were in second. We're now in eighth,

41:24

which is just outside the playoff spots. But

41:26

you know what? Everybody's like,

41:29

oh, where are we going to finish? Are we going to finish

41:31

in seventh? I'm like, guys, I don't care.

41:33

All I care about is that we're 11 points

41:36

clear of relegation after 13 games.

41:38

That's amazing. We had

41:41

one game last season where we didn't have

41:43

to stress out about

41:47

being relegated. I would just love this season

41:49

to have five such games or 10 such

41:52

games. The whole goal

41:54

is to get to 52 points because you

41:56

get three points for a win, one point for a draw. And

41:58

if we get to 52 points this season, We won't

42:00

get relegated. We have 21 points

42:02

after 13 games. This is phenomenal. I'd

42:05

love to be in a city Let's just keep getting

42:07

points. Let's not worry about where we're gonna finish

42:09

this season I know what you're wondering

42:11

Hank who's good who'd we sign

42:14

who who are all that? Who are all the wonderful

42:16

new players for AFC Wimbledon? Well,

42:18

yeah, most importantly we held on

42:21

to 22 year old All y'all homedy

42:24

our liver puddly and Iraqi superstar

42:27

Who could have gone to a higher league

42:30

but chose to stay with us for at

42:32

least half of this season? Hopefully the

42:34

whole season Ali alhamadi

42:36

continues to be amazing, but we also signed this new

42:38

guy named James Tilly classic

42:41

big bottom small Not

42:44

the tallest man you'll ever meet but uh-huh

42:47

big bottom five foot nine, you

42:49

know what I mean if you catch my drift Yeah,

42:52

uh-huh. He plays out on the wing Five

42:55

foot nine and he is

42:58

Good.

42:58

He scored seven goals in his first nine games

43:00

for us We've also got this 18 year

43:03

old kid Aaron sassu who's played for us since

43:05

he was 10 and he's starting to get some

43:07

game time He's big and lanky

43:09

classic small bottom big Really

43:12

like the combination of James Tilly and Aaron

43:14

sassu how they balance each other out and

43:18

we've got We've got Jake

43:21

Reeves now you might remember Distantly

43:24

in the past Hank Jake Reeves because

43:26

he used to play for us like seven or eight years

43:28

ago Then he went up to a higher league now. He's

43:30

back with Wimbledon. He's right in the middle of our

43:32

midfield He's our central midfielder and our captain

43:35

and I love him. I love him so much.

43:37

He inspires so much confidence I love

43:40

the way he kind of like yells at the younger players

43:42

to like get him, you know focused

43:45

Get him in get him drawn in he's

43:47

really good And then at the back,

43:50

this is the most important thing Hank. This is what I've

43:52

been waiting for six months to tell you We've

43:55

got this central defender now, you know that

43:57

they were DFTBA on the back of their shorts in the women

44:00

space between left thigh and buttock. We've

44:02

got this central defender named Joe Lewis who

44:05

rolls his shorts up like a

44:07

diaper or like a speedo.

44:11

Okay. Yeah, he gets it high so he

44:13

could have lots of leg flexibility. I

44:16

think his argument is like my thighs cannot

44:18

be contained by these shorts. It's

44:21

too uncomfortable. Yeah, I just have too

44:23

much thigh. Which he has a lot of thigh. Let's

44:26

just say it, okay? He's tightastic.

44:30

He's Joe Lewis, AFC

44:33

Lumina.

44:34

Yeah. There's a shot of him after he scored a goal

44:39

for us off a corner kick where you really

44:41

can see the thighs. I don't know if you're looking at that

44:44

shot but that's the one. Look, I'm seeing a

44:46

lot of thigh. That's for sure. So much

44:48

thigh. More than seems

44:50

possible. Yeah, I mean

44:53

he's tan all the way up too so he obviously

44:55

does this all the time. Oh yeah, no, it's

44:57

not just when he's – it's not just during

44:59

game time. He trains like that. I

45:01

assume he walks around London like that.

45:03

And you

45:06

can't even see our logo. He rolls up

45:08

his shorts so high. He

45:10

is probably our best player. All

45:16

right, Joe. He's incredible. He's

45:19

on loan. We haven't even signed him but

45:22

I am willing – I'm going to text you

45:24

this picture. I am willing to

45:27

crowdfund for this man.

45:30

That's how much I love him. I'll

45:32

crowdfund for him. I'll do what I need to do

45:34

to make sure that we keep him. And

45:36

I know we got to cure tuberculosis and

45:38

deal with maternal mortality and football

45:41

is not important but I just – I love this

45:43

man. Look at that picture I just texted you, Nick.

45:45

Look at those thighs under

45:48

the light of the main. Wow.

45:50

Now you see what I'm talking about. Yeah,

45:52

wow. He's a whole statue. We'll

45:55

put that on the Patreon.

45:57

Forget about this week of stuff.

45:59

This weekend's fine. You're gonna

46:02

get everything you need. So

46:04

we're good. We're in eighth place. We're

46:07

winning some games. We actually

46:09

have like one of the best defensive records in

46:11

League Two. And with

46:14

a very small budget, we are overperforming.

46:17

And that's largely thanks to our head of recruitment

46:20

and our head of like football magic.

46:22

There's this guy named Craig Cope, who's like

46:24

a classic money ball. He looks kind

46:26

of like us. You know? Which

46:30

is to say he did not. Put better at math. He looks like

46:32

he never played professional football, just

46:34

like us. But

46:36

man, he's magic. He's

46:39

magic. I'm

46:41

in love with him too. I'm in love with the team this season.

46:43

And I gotta say, I wasn't a huge

46:46

believer that we should necessarily bring

46:48

back our manager, Johnny Jackson.

46:50

But Johnny Jackson's been great this season.

46:53

So it's all good. It's all golden. I'm

46:55

so excited for this AFC Wimbledon team. I

46:58

have to tell you, if you live in London or Mansfield,

47:00

you gotta go see them. They're just so fun

47:02

to watch right now. It's exciting. I'm

47:06

glad that you got to watch it. Was it like a nail-nail

47:08

game that you ended up watching? Yeah.

47:10

And then one before that, I went to see Rexxum earlier this season,

47:12

and that was a one-one draw. So,

47:15

haven't seen a victory in a number

47:17

of years, but neither

47:20

have a lot of Wimbledon fans. You'll

47:22

keep going for it. That's

47:25

right. Move to London, John, and then...

47:29

It'd be really bad for my marriage, but

47:31

it'd be great for my football watching. Oh,

47:34

God. I

47:38

want to go to London, at least for a little bit.

47:40

I do. Sometimes they'll love it there. I want

47:42

you to go to... You've never been to an AFC Wimbledon game with

47:45

me. That's true. Oh, you gotta go. It's

47:48

so fun. I've never taken anyone

47:51

who said anything other than that was so fun,

47:53

except for Alice when I made her go to Mansfield. Other

47:56

than that, everyone's had a good time. Well...

48:00

In Mars News, the

48:03

biggest, probably at least recent Mars

48:05

news is that they... So

48:07

there's this plan to return

48:10

samples to Earth from

48:12

Mars. Yeah. And this is hard. Very hard. It comes with

48:14

asteroids before successfully. One of

48:16

the great things about asteroids is that they don't have very

48:18

much gravity well, so you can just get

48:21

the stuff and leave without burning

48:23

a lot of fuel. Much harder with Mars, much

48:26

bigger object, much more gravity, so you have to go

48:28

down and that's expensive. You have to come back

48:30

up and that's expensive, then you have to go back down to Earth

48:32

and all that's expensive. There's lots of fuel

48:35

necessary to make this happen. But this is

48:37

what we've been hoping we'll figure

48:39

out a way to do it. And in fact, Curiosity is

48:41

sort of bagging up or viling

48:44

up little samples in vials

48:46

and leaving them like a trail behind him, like

48:49

little breadcrumbs. Oh, with the expectation

48:51

that maybe someday we'll be able to get those vials.

48:55

Yeah. That's lovely. I'm like, if we

48:57

can come, we don't need to get the vials. We

48:59

can back up the own vials that maybe,

49:01

who knows? Let's... Hey, it's still a beautiful

49:04

idea that Curiosity is just leaving

49:06

a little bit of breadcrumbs, being like, hey,

49:08

anybody want to come? You guys want

49:10

this, they're here. I'm a little lonely. I

49:14

do have my little helicopter friend. That's true. The

49:16

idea is that you could have a helicopter come and pick them up

49:18

and then deliver them back to whatever the sample return

49:21

thing is. Oh, speaking of which, Ingenuity

49:23

did one of the things that happened

49:26

is that Ingenuity, I think that it did like it's,

49:29

I don't know, 80th flight

49:31

or something? It's still a helicopter. It's flying around.

49:33

It's still a helicopter. It's at

49:35

it, 59th. It just did its 59th flight.

49:38

And it also set its altitude record. So

49:40

it has gone higher than ever. I like

49:42

the idea that as it gets older and

49:45

they've further

49:47

past its expected mission life, they

49:49

just take more risks. And they're like,

49:51

all right, you know what we're going to do? Let's see what this

49:53

thing can handle. Do you think it can make it to the sun?

49:56

Let's

49:58

just get it. Oh, can we fly?

49:59

all the way home. It was like, that's

50:02

not how molecules work, unfortunately,

50:04

but it would be cool if we could make that happen.

50:06

That's a good point. Good point about air. Thanks

50:08

for that. Thanks for that reminder.

50:12

So the sample

50:14

return mission is this sort of pie in

50:16

the sky thing and NASA did

50:19

an independent review. So the

50:21

independent review board looked at the sample

50:23

return plans and they were like, this,

50:27

I don't think this is going to work, you guys. So

50:31

they've been working towards this mission for

50:33

a long time. It would launch in 2028

50:36

and have a budget of $4.4 billion with a B. Wow. And

50:42

it involves sending a large sample

50:44

retriever to Mars where it would

50:46

collect the things that the

50:49

rover left behind. It would put the tubes on the

50:51

rocket on a rocket that rocket

50:53

would launch into orbit and then get picked

50:56

up by an orbiter and that orbiter

50:58

would then return to Earth. And so all these different

51:00

things need different fuels. Like

51:02

they all need independently to have a bunch of fuel

51:04

to get where they need to go. Right. Which

51:07

is why there's all these different pieces of it. Now,

51:09

if that all works according to plan, it would be a very

51:11

big deal. We'd be launching a rocket

51:14

on another planet to get back

51:16

to space, which is wild. And

51:20

we'd get these pieces

51:23

of Mars, our first ever like recent

51:25

pieces of Mars. We have pieces of Mars that

51:27

got here because like asteroids hit

51:30

Mars, knocked them into space and

51:32

then eventually they fell to Earth and we can actually identify

51:34

when that happens, which is wild. That is

51:36

wild. But these would be like, they would not have to pass

51:38

through the atmosphere. They'd be fresh. They'd

51:41

be fresh. Hyped hot. Super

51:43

fresh. Yeah. Pieces of Mars.

51:45

Fresh Mars. And they could theoretically

51:48

have fossils in them or they could even have fossils in them or they could

51:50

even have life in them. We don't know. Yeah.

51:53

We would be able to do a lot more science on them

51:55

if they were here on Earth rather than just

51:57

the chemistry that you can do on Earth. the

52:00

little lab that's on the rover. So

52:02

the independent review board found that

52:05

those were really great and significant

52:07

goals that they would love to see accomplished. And

52:09

they say that the timeline and the budget are

52:12

not gonna make, that's just

52:14

not doable. Oh, it's not realistic. Yeah,

52:17

yeah. They think the realistic budget would

52:19

be eight to $11 billion

52:21

and the realistic launch date would be 2040. 20 what

52:24

now? 40. I

52:27

can't help but notice that all these dates being thrown around

52:29

are significantly after 2027. Look, when we made that

52:32

rule, 2027 did not seem like a time

52:37

that existed. Yeah. Could

52:40

that that wasn't a thing that was going to

52:42

happen. Yeah. Now it looks like

52:44

it will actually occur. So can't

52:46

wait to be making our hit podcast here, John and Hank.

52:49

And you know, I'm getting used to the idea. By 2027, our

52:52

podcast is going to be so bad and so

52:54

short. But it's yeah, it's still gonna,

52:57

I'm still gonna love it. I'm probably gonna

52:59

love it more than ever. Color me

53:01

surprised that Elon Musk's

53:05

vision of how fast we could get to Mars. Yeah.

53:07

Was not realistic. And and even even

53:10

maybe intentionally

53:14

manipulative and I have been lied

53:16

to by Elon Musk, is that possible? That

53:18

a thing that could occur? I mean, get

53:21

off

53:22

Twitter.

53:24

So they made a number of findings and recommendations.

53:27

Oh, and NASA is now establishing

53:29

its own team to look through all that report.

53:32

That's gonna take forever. Yeah,

53:35

I think we could have humans there and back by 2040.

53:38

And I'm the guy who bet that we couldn't

53:40

do it by 2027. It would be a lot easier

53:43

to get stuff back from Mars of a person

53:45

like a human person just put it in their backpack. Right.

53:47

And we came home. Yeah, which

53:50

we would do. We're not going to leave the people there. So

53:53

a human ration would also be

53:55

a sample return mission.

53:57

Yeah.

53:58

Is that going to have to wait until 2040 because

54:00

I imagine if we if it takes that long to

54:03

get a yeah a vial Getting

54:06

a person would take even longer than 2040.

54:08

Am I gonna live to see and I

54:11

know we don't know Alright So

54:14

I'm just gonna cut you off there. Mr. Darkness.

54:16

Okay, mr. Newly dark. I know

54:18

I know we don't know believe me I know

54:21

is there a chance that I will live to

54:23

see a person on Mars or with this whole thing

54:25

for nothing Did I get a chance did I

54:27

get invested in this whole people visiting

54:29

Mars for nothing? I'd

54:32

say you know, I'd say there's a chance I'd

54:34

say it's still not a great I'd

54:37

still say it's not a certainty It's nowhere

54:39

near a certainty that that you will get to see a

54:42

person. Well, of course, it's not a certainty I'm

54:45

saying like if I live to be 90s,

54:48

right? I'm saying if you live to be a 90 if you live

54:50

to be 90 It's not a certainty. Okay, that's 45

54:53

years. That gives us till 20

54:55

There's

54:56

practical reasons why

54:58

this is hard. I believe I believe

55:00

it. Yeah, not always there's practical

55:03

reasons why this is hard There's a lot of confounding factors

55:05

as well. Hank like will will humans

55:07

exist? Yeah,

55:11

will we still have We

55:14

still have like a little bit you will turn

55:19

Yeah, will there be electricity Yeah,

55:21

yeah, there's a lot of questions, but I

55:24

think we got a chance I'm I'm I

55:26

am I remain broadly in favor of humans and

55:29

I think we've I Think

55:31

when I look at our relationship with Mars

55:33

I actually am quite inspired by what

55:35

we could do But it's a little bit of a bummer

55:37

that we can't get a vial off that planet until 2040 I

55:41

mean NASA's current state stated

55:44

timeline is that Humans

55:46

could be on Mars as early as the

55:48

2030s and I'm like I Don't

55:51

know about that as early as that's great phrasing

55:54

though Like that's very similar to the phrasing

55:56

they use around TV where it's like we could eliminate

55:58

TV by 2030 I'm like, yeah, we could.

56:01

Anybody? Anybody? Money? Money?

56:05

Resources? Time? We could definitely

56:07

be on Mars in the 2030s. I agree that that

56:09

is possible. Yeah, it just like would take

56:12

dedication. And I have to say,

56:14

as much as I do wanna... It would take a lot more money than it would

56:16

take to cure tuberculosis, probably. Yeah,

56:19

I think the number that

56:21

gets thrown around is $250 billion to cure TB, to end TB. Yeah,

56:26

that's a lot. It's a lot. That's a

56:28

lot. It would cost more to go to Mars. It

56:31

would save 1.6 million lives a year forever,

56:34

right? Because in some ways, we're still

56:37

benefiting from not dying from smallpox.

56:40

Like there's still people who

56:42

would die from smallpox if we hadn't eliminated smallpox.

56:44

So that's the great thing about getting rid of a disease is

56:47

that you save lives forever, or

56:49

at least you increase the length of lives forever.

56:53

Turns out there actually is no saving a life.

56:55

You're

56:57

just delaying. You're just delaying. Yeah,

57:00

I've heard.

57:04

Thanks for coming to our podcast. We're

57:08

back, baby. What

57:10

do you say at the end of the podcast? What

57:13

do we say? Oh, boy. Hank,

57:16

thanks for making a pod with me. It's been a real pleasure.

57:18

Thanks to everybody for listening. Send us your emails at dearhankandjohn

57:22

at gmail.com. Nope, just

57:24

hankandjohn at gmail.com. And

57:27

thank you for all of your emails over the last

57:29

six months that we didn't respond to. Many

57:31

of them meant a great deal to us. If

57:34

you know how to get Duncan's thatched roof into

57:36

a wind tunnel or have access to a jet

57:38

engine, I told you his

57:40

website so you could find

57:42

him. I would

57:45

tell you the credits of the podcast right now, but I can't

57:47

because I don't know where that document is

57:49

anymore. I'm gonna give it a go. I'm gonna give it a go

57:51

right now. Today's podcast was edited by Joseph

57:54

Tounamedesh. It was. It

57:56

was produced by Rosianna Hoss Rojas, our head

57:58

of social. media stuff is...

58:02

could be Brooke Shotwell. We'll look into that. Oh!

58:04

The Boogie... is the Boogie Tugger Party's our editorial

58:07

assistant? Yes, although not on this episode.

58:09

Um... Eh, she helped. Oh, great. More

58:12

stuff. Oh, great. Did she write that terrible dad

58:14

joke? No, that was me. Oh, great. She...

58:16

that's always me. Okay. Well, um,

58:19

by the way, as we're rebuilding this thing, Hank,

58:21

feel free to just let that go. Let

58:24

it sail off into the distance. If it's stressful for

58:26

you, if it's fun for you, keep doing it. Yep.

58:29

You decide. Okay. As they

58:31

say in our hometown. Don't

58:33

forget to be awesome.

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