2:00

In Cuba, we have what we call a socialist

2:03

economy. In Cuba, the

2:05

state owns and runs most things. Health,

2:08

education, infrastructure, manufacturing.

2:11

Alejandra says that those who work for the state

2:13

don't get paid very much.

2:16

And since most people work for the state, most

2:18

people don't have that much money. You

2:20

are allowed to run a small business, and typically

2:23

you would earn more money in that way.

2:26

So for example, just to give you a bit of context,

2:29

my mom is a doctor and so

2:32

my mom at that time when I was

2:34

a child, like she used to earn

2:36

the equivalent of 25 US dollars, which

2:40

is much less than a taxi driver. Oh

2:42

my gosh. That usually they work outside

2:45

the estate as self-employed people. So

2:49

yeah, it's such a peculiar place where

2:51

you have this contrast of free

2:54

education, healthcare

2:56

but at the same time

2:57

like a very acute

3:00

economic crisis going on. In

3:02

neighboring countries like the US, shopping

3:05

malls are full of things to buy. There's

3:07

so much choice.

3:09

But in Cuba, things

3:10

are much harder to get a hold of.

3:13

In Cuba, we don't throw

3:15

things away because there's a

3:18

huge shortage of essential

3:20

things that you can get anywhere else for

3:23

the house. So yeah, in Cuba,

3:26

everything can be useful or something else. Like

3:28

a dress that didn't fit you could become

3:30

a blouse or a pillowcase. I

3:33

remember seeing pictures of my mom when she was

3:35

younger with a dress,

3:38

with this kind of pattern fabric, and then

3:40

seeing another picture of five years

3:42

later with a skirt with the same

3:44

fabric, with the same pattern. We

3:47

grew up being very creative.

3:50

My grandpa, he was very good

3:52

at transforming his style. He was such a handy

3:54

man. Cuba is pretty

3:57

hot. and I remember

3:59

one time.

4:00

my grandpa made this

4:02

fan using the engine of an

4:04

old laundry machine. And

4:07

you know that laundry machines

4:09

tend to vibrate a lot, right?

4:12

So the fan used to

4:14

move constantly. And

4:16

my mom named the fan

4:19

Mr. Personality. And

4:22

I guess it was because I had a personality

4:25

of his own.

4:26

So my mom and

4:28

me, like our generation,

4:31

grew up making the most of what we

4:33

had. Alejandra

4:35

loved to visit her grandparents and great aunts

4:37

who lived in this big traditional family

4:40

house.

4:41

My brother and I, we spent a

4:43

big chunk of our life with my grandparents

4:45

because my parents were working a lot and

4:48

it was so much fun to be around

4:50

them in this 1800 house

4:53

in Old Havana, which is the oldest

4:55

part of the city. And

4:58

yeah, like the house, it was like traveling in

5:00

time to the fifties because all the

5:02

decoration was from that time. And

5:06

this spoiled me so much and they

5:08

showered me with like love and affection.

5:11

I

5:11

remember that I used to dress up with my

5:13

great-grand-auntie clothes

5:15

and put on her pair of necklaces and

5:18

use her makeup. But

5:20

from a young age, Alejandra

5:22

wondered about the world outside. Despite

5:25

being born in the late 1990s, she

5:28

says she doesn't remember anyone having

5:30

access to the internet until 2016. Having

5:35

internet on your phone only became a thing

5:37

in 2019. So

5:40

finding out about other countries was a lot

5:42

harder than it is now. When

5:44

I was growing up, I remember that in

5:46

Cuba, there were only just a few TV

5:49

channels, only two or three and

5:51

the programming was carefully selected

5:53

by the government. But

5:57

around those years, there were a lot of tourists

5:59

traveling to the...

6:00

island so the government decided

6:02

that foreign tourists staying at hotels should

6:04

enjoy kind of like American channels

6:06

and have like a you know international

6:09

news and so on

6:11

and we

6:14

had this kind of like homemade satellite

6:17

dish my dad with my grandfather

6:19

made with the metal lid of a tank thanks

6:22

to that homemade satellite I

6:24

watched a lot of American cartoons and

6:27

movies growing up and like

6:29

the news like international media

6:32

and all of that so around

6:35

that time kind of like having access

6:37

to more information that the

6:40

average Cuban shell that sort

6:42

of changed my mindset, set

6:45

of alarms in my brain, I started to ask

6:47

myself a lot of questions. I remember

6:49

like watching commercials about

6:53

toys and flashy

6:55

clothes and things that we

6:57

didn't have. And I started to wish

6:59

for something else.

7:01

By the time Alejandra had made it through school

7:03

and university, she had been

7:06

dreaming of leaving. Cuba

7:08

is an island and we

7:11

don't have land borders. So

7:15

that insularity kind of

7:17

like, it also contributes to the fact

7:19

that the outside world is,

7:21

you

7:23

know, it just seems very

7:25

far away. Alejandra hadn't

7:27

left the island her entire life. Then

7:30

at the age of 24, she wins a scholarship

7:33

to study and work in the UK.

7:36

It was pretty bad timing. The

7:38

COVID-19 pandemic had begun. Just

7:41

as she was due to leave, her grandparents'

7:44

street was locked down, and Alejandro

7:46

had to wave goodbye from the end of the road.

7:49

Just as she turned away, a neighbour passed

7:51

her a letter from her grandmother.

7:53

It's that letter that we're going to hear today.

7:56

So Alejandro and I called her up together.

8:01

Alejandra's

8:05

grandmother Maria

8:08

doesn't speak English

8:10

but I really wanted to speak to

8:13

her

8:17

even

8:24

if it was just for a few minutes. I

8:27

would like to introduce you to my grandma,

8:30

Maria. Hello Maria. Good

8:32

morning, Maria. Good

8:34

morning, Maria. Good morning, Maria. How

8:38

are you? Good, you're good.

8:42

Good Spanish there, good morning. Good

8:46

morning, Maria. Yes. I believe that you wanted

8:48

to ask my grandma some questions.

8:51

I did. I wanted to find out,

8:54

Maria. Why did you

8:56

write the letters to Alejandra as opposed to

8:58

say, talk to her about

9:00

what you wanted to say on the phone? Why

9:03

was writing a letter important?

9:05

I was a woman who created

9:08

this garden, as we used to live in the middle.

9:11

It was the first time I had a letter, and

9:14

I didn't have much time. I forgot

9:17

my name. She's basically saying that she

9:21

wrote this letter. It was the first

9:23

time that I was leaving the nest,

9:25

moving abroad, and

9:28

that she had many fears because

9:31

until then I had lived in a safe,

9:33

in a protective environment, food of love.

9:36

The last thing that she said is that the

9:39

letter is something warm,

9:42

something that will replace her

9:45

kiss, her hug.

9:47

Now, before recording the show, I

9:50

was wondering how to share with you because

9:52

it's written in Spanish. I've decided

9:55

to ask Maria to start reading what she wrote

9:57

in Spanish and then I've asked a friend

9:59

of the production. team

10:00

to read out Maria's words in

10:02

English. So here goes.

10:04

["I

10:06

Am A Lili"] Dear

10:11

A Lili, writing

10:13

this letter is so difficult because

10:17

I would like to tell you so many

10:19

things I

10:28

could not fit on a sheet of paper.

10:30

First of all, I thank God

10:33

for giving me this granddaughter, with

10:35

whom I spent so many fun moments.

10:38

Who was my companion to museums and libraries

10:41

until you were in fourth grade? Can

10:43

you spend with your grandpa, great grand

10:45

aunty, and me?

10:47

Your grandpa loves you. When

10:50

you were little, he used to swing you in

10:52

his arms and you'd immediately fall asleep.

10:55

For him, you are the most beautiful

10:58

and intelligent girl in the universe. He

11:00

always says that.

11:02

As for me, you were the child

11:04

that made me happy and got to enjoy

11:07

the most. Because with your mom

11:09

and your aunt, I was working all the time

11:11

and I miss so many things from their childhood

11:14

that I got to do with you.

11:21

I admire

11:22

you because you persevere.

11:24

You are a fighter, fearless and

11:27

very smart.

11:29

You are leaving me now, but I am

11:31

happy because you have achieved what you wanted

11:33

with sacrifice and hard work.

11:37

Please always remember

11:39

to help everyone you can on the way,

11:42

without expecting anything in return,

11:44

with material things or advice.

11:49

Be very selective when choosing

11:51

your friends in class, in the uni

11:53

halls and socially. Please

11:56

don't use drugs and drink

11:58

responsibly. I know you

12:00

like to party, but you are smarter

12:03

than that.

12:05

Keep your parents informed of everything

12:08

that is going on in your life.

12:10

You know that they are an amazing duo.

12:12

If someone could keep track of all the miles

12:15

and hours that your dad has dedicated

12:17

to you, driving you from place

12:19

to place, from class to class,

12:22

you'd be amazed.

12:23

Try to call your mum frequently

12:26

and share with her everything, even

12:28

the little things.

12:30

Just think about what she'll go through with

12:32

your brother's departure abroad and

12:34

now yours. This will be a tough

12:37

and painful process for her.

12:39

But children do these things. Your

12:43

great-grandparents on both

12:45

sides came to Cuba when they were 14 years

12:47

old. My father

12:49

was a fisherman and he used to live

12:51

in the hills around La Cabana,

12:54

a small fishing town across Havana Bay.

12:57

Sometimes he would go alone to

13:00

sit at the pier and sing, Goodbye

13:01

my dear Spain, far

13:04

away of my land and family I

13:06

mourned you. Now things

13:08

are different, because there are digital

13:11

platforms and wonderful apps we

13:13

can use to communicate, Facebook,

13:15

WhatsApp etc.

13:18

One last thing. I know that

13:20

you were not brought up in a religious or

13:22

spiritual environment, but

13:25

I hope God will guide you and

13:27

help you to achieve your goals.

13:29

From me, a

13:31

big kiss and I almost

13:33

forget the boring stuff. Be

13:36

organized. Make your bed every

13:39

day.

13:40

Don't raise mice and cockroaches.

13:42

Yeah, yeah.

13:51

Alejandro, I love that sentence about mice

13:54

and cockroaches. Your grandmother sounds like she's

13:56

funny, she's smart.

13:59

Tell me bit more about her. My grandma,

14:02

she's 81. She used to be a

14:04

secretary at a magazine,

14:07

as she says in the letter when my

14:09

mom and my aunt were

14:11

little, she was working very hard

14:14

at that time. So

14:16

I guess like she got to do all the fun stuff

14:18

with me. She definitely played a huge

14:21

role in my life.

14:23

She did send to you three letters. But

14:26

what has the value been to you in

14:28

receiving these letters? What does it mean to you

14:31

to have her

14:32

sit down and put these thoughts down on paper

14:34

and then share them with you? These

14:37

are handwritten letters, right?

14:39

So I felt so happy of

14:41

having a piece of my grammar with me

14:44

because I moved at the beginning of COVID. The

14:46

first time that I bought an airplane was

14:49

during the pandemic. So I wasn't

14:51

able to say goodbye properly to my grandparents When

14:53

I left, their street was closed

14:56

because some people in the blog were

14:58

sick and all that. And

15:01

I remember that I waved to them. And

15:04

that was the last time that I saw my grandfather, for

15:06

example, because he passed away that year.

15:09

Yeah, it was good to have like a piece

15:11

of paper and not

15:13

a voice memo or an email. It

15:16

was a handwritten letter, something that I

15:18

could squeeze and,

15:20

you know, like a piece of hair, I

15:22

guess. So yeah, it's definitely

15:25

that's how I felt when I received the letter. I

15:27

also felt relief that you were supporting my decision

15:30

of moving overseas, of fighting

15:32

for my dreams. That's so beautiful.

15:34

And that imagery of painted of you, you

15:36

know, the last time you saw your grandparents and how you

15:38

received that letter. Gosh, it,

15:41

you know, makes me want to cry. As

15:43

someone who's received letters and

15:45

the podcast has been about writing

15:48

letters to our daughters and

15:50

What would you say to mothers or

15:52

grandmothers writing these letters? how

15:55

important it is for them to do that for their

15:57

children

15:58

and their grandchildren. a

16:00

piece of my past with me, of

16:02

my family, of a

16:04

loved one. I don't see my grandma often

16:07

anymore. What happened to my grandpa

16:09

is that he passed away and I

16:11

didn't have like

16:13

anything from him except

16:15

a wash.

16:17

In my case, I

16:19

had like, as I said before, something

16:22

that she wrote, something

16:25

that reminds me to her

16:27

every time that I see the letter I can think of her.

16:30

So yeah that's why I think that everybody should

16:32

like write letters to their kids and

16:36

grandkids because they are

16:39

taking with them a piece of you

16:41

know family

16:43

history I guess and it's a way to

16:46

to think about those loved ones. I

16:48

think particularly with your letters it's been

16:50

such a great insight to

16:53

how highly she thinks of you.

16:55

She thinks the world of you.

16:58

And like I always say, I feel like in my

17:00

life it's made such a difference to have

17:03

my own mom see me, you

17:05

know, in the little things that I do or in the

17:07

big ones. She's always been able to give

17:09

me a sense of she sees

17:11

me and

17:12

she loves me for whatever

17:15

she sees. So going back

17:17

to your grandmother's letters, Alejandra, what

17:19

did you think was the point of her

17:21

writing them? Yeah, for

17:23

me to not forget where

17:26

I came from, for me to lose

17:29

myself and not forget

17:31

my family, my heritage,

17:34

my culture of

17:36

resilience, all

17:38

the positive things that also, all

17:41

the fun moments that I had also growing up and

17:43

the

17:44

positive things that growing

17:46

up in Cuba also gives you not

17:49

just the bad stuff. I think

17:51

that was her point at the

17:53

time. I just wanted to see what was the

17:56

war outside the island. How was that? I

17:59

think that might... grandma

18:00

just wrote the letter to remind me about

18:03

our memories, the phone moments that we had,

18:05

and for me not to

18:07

lose myself like I have my true identity in the

18:09

process, I think. So Alejandra,

18:11

your grandmother's letter was full

18:14

of bits of advice that she had for

18:16

you. There was stuff like, you know,

18:18

call your mom or keep your

18:20

parents informed of everything that you're doing in your life. Do

18:23

you feel like you actually managed

18:25

to do that? Yeah, I

18:28

think so.

18:30

In almost everything, I

18:32

call my mom, for example, every day. And

18:35

I talk a lot with my dad too. And

18:38

even with my grandma, like, well,

18:40

she got a phone with wasp

18:42

recently. And we have

18:44

been talking and like

18:47

texting each other quite frequently.

18:50

Are you making your bed?

18:53

Every day. I

18:56

don't know about that. I'm not sure. So you are

18:58

raising mice and cockroaches.

19:02

That's after record number one. A

19:05

hundred. No,

19:07

I mean, she's saying that because...

19:10

Yeah, I mean, she's saying that because when

19:12

I used to live with my parents, right? It

19:14

was a bit of a... It wasn't

19:16

very tidy, to be honest. But, you know,

19:19

like sharing flat with the strangers, like

19:21

obviously I have to be more and

19:24

feel like an adult

19:26

now, like an adult. Alejandra,

19:28

I think it's quite clear from your grandmother's letters that

19:30

she thinks so highly of you and

19:33

loves you so much and is so good at

19:36

showing you

19:37

who you are. But I do want

19:39

to bring your attention to a paragraph

19:42

in the second letter that she wrote to you. You

19:44

started to grow up and that cute

19:46

rosebud became a beautiful flower with

19:49

a well-defined personality. Although

19:52

sometimes you are a real drag.

19:55

I was always representing you.

19:57

Do you remember how you used to complain about

19:59

everything? and everyone. My

20:02

God, forgive her. Alejandra,

20:04

you're a warrior and very intelligent.

20:07

Everything you've achieved is because you earned it,

20:09

but

20:09

always be grateful. Do

20:12

you remember that bit? Yeah, yeah.

20:14

Tell me about that bit. Because

20:16

that's the one place in the letter where, I mean,

20:20

it's very clear how she feels about you, but that's

20:22

the one place where she was kind of advising you

20:24

on how your character was and

20:27

how she would

20:28

like you to develop it a bit more,

20:30

if I can say it that way. So what do you think about

20:32

that?

20:34

Yeah, I think that, uh, my

20:36

grandma, she never liked when

20:39

I used to talk about others in

20:41

a demeaning way. And I

20:44

remember it was probably at the time that I was 13

20:48

or maybe that

20:50

sort of like complicated years and

20:53

yeah, she's probably talking

20:54

about how I used to complain about

20:57

other people behind their

20:59

backs or complain about

21:02

society in general. It

21:04

was during the time I was developing a personality,

21:06

you could say. But

21:09

it happens at 13. It happens

21:11

to all of us. Yeah.

21:13

And she was always like very picky with

21:16

me about the words that I was

21:18

using or the language.

21:21

So yeah, I don't do that now though. Yeah,

21:24

I have changed.

21:24

That's a good

21:26

thing. Because that means you have been taking

21:29

your grandmother's advice, the things that she has said to

21:31

you in person, I'm assuming

21:33

the way that you've seen her behave. But

21:36

what advice do

21:38

you remember that you have literally taken with

21:40

you and you actively

21:43

try to be more of the person

21:45

she asked you to be, or

21:48

have you followed your grandmother's advice?

21:51

Yeah, I have. I

21:53

think the only thing is

21:55

that I'm still working on

21:58

is the part about being... grateful

22:00

towards life. And

22:03

I think it's related to that fact that I said before

22:05

that I used to complain about a lot of things.

22:08

I still do that not about people but

22:10

about life in general

22:13

because it's related to the fact that I'm

22:15

a

22:16

very ambitious person and

22:18

I always want more. So yeah

22:21

I'm learning how to be more grateful.

22:25

As you can see my grandma she's

22:27

a bit of a religious person. She says

22:30

that she discovered faith in

22:32

her 70s because

22:35

Cuba is a communist country so people

22:37

don't go to church often.

22:41

We are not a religious society and

22:43

my grandma she says that she recently

22:45

found faith and so she

22:47

has been trying to say that But at

22:49

least for me to be grateful

22:52

if I don't believe in God, but at least be grateful

22:55

towards life.

23:03

Before

23:03

ending the episode, I have a final question

23:05

for Maria. Maria,

23:07

I would like to know how you feel that

23:10

the letters that you wrote in Cuba for

23:12

your granddaughter in the UK have

23:14

been

23:15

listened to and have impacted me in

23:18

Kenya and will be

23:20

listened to by people from all

23:22

around the world on this podcast.

23:26

I have a question

23:28

that I would like to ask you in

23:30

a moment to ask for your question. So

23:35

she said that she never thought that the letters

23:37

will be public, that

23:40

people will hear these letters, but

23:43

she's saying that

23:45

most, like every mother goes through

23:47

the same thing, especially

23:49

those mothers that they are off-prints

23:52

away. So she's

23:54

saying that

23:55

her letters, kind of like everybody can

23:57

identify with the letters, especially the motors.

24:00

that have daughters away.

24:03

So she said that their letters are

24:05

a love message for those

24:08

families, for mothers and grandmothers with

24:11

aspirins living abroad. And

24:14

she says that it doesn't matter where you

24:16

come from, basically, that everybody can feel,

24:19

you know,

24:20

identified with this.

24:22

Yeah, we certainly can. Please

24:25

say to your grandmother, thank you, Maria, thank you for being

24:28

on the podcast. Thank you for sharing your

24:30

letters and thank you for sharing

24:33

this really special relationship that you have with Alejandra

24:36

who has been really important to me. So

24:38

thank you and adios, Maria.

24:41

And I would like to say that I have

24:43

a question about Alejandra. My

24:47

grandma is saying that because I had to

24:49

translate these letters and

24:52

her answers that that

24:55

I probably left something out.

25:00

But yeah, everything that she said was good

25:03

and it was true. Yeah, I probably left

25:05

something out, but that's it because it's the

25:08

word, long answers. Thank

25:11

you,

25:11

Alejandra and Adios, Maria. Adios,

25:14

Nabilanta. Good luck for

25:16

you. Oh, thank you. Thank

25:19

you very much. And

25:21

thank you, Alejandra, for sharing

25:23

your letters with us. I've

25:26

always wanted to visit Cuba. I mean,

25:28

the food, the culture. I

25:30

just think it's easy to romanticize the lives

25:33

of others until you get to have a conversation

25:35

with them.

25:36

And Alejandra dreamt

25:38

of escaping the confines of her homeland

25:41

in Cuba and just seeing

25:43

more, seeing the world. What I find

25:46

interesting is that her 80-year-old

25:48

grandmother who has lived her entire life

25:50

in Cuba, I loved her enough to

25:53

let her go.

25:55

Speaking to Alejandro's grandmother, the

25:57

line crackling over the connection cube

25:59

by tonight. I had one

26:02

generation telling the next that

26:04

we have to remember to be grateful for who

26:06

we are and what we have. And

26:09

I'm glad for my friend Alejandra that

26:11

she will always have that reminder in letters

26:13

from her grandmother to go back to

26:16

whenever she needs to.

26:22

Next time, a letter that really touched

26:24

a nerve with me, from a father

26:26

whose wife died when his daughter was just six

26:28

years old.

26:30

I remember I was in the hospital that

26:32

day and I was just

26:34

looking and wondering how will I move

26:36

from here? How will I see the next day and

26:38

then the next day? Who do I even talk

26:40

to? Who do I call? I

26:43

had nothing. Dear

26:47

Daughter is presented by me, Namulanta

26:49

Kombo, and produced by me

26:51

and Maggie Karanja with support from Lucy

26:53

Burns. The series producer

26:56

is Charlotte McDonald.

26:58

The editor is Claire Fordham, mixed

27:00

by Neil Churchill. Fame

27:02

music composed by Justin Nichols.

27:05

Prabhjit Bains is the BBC World

27:07

Service podcast producer. John

27:10

Manel is the Podcast Commissioning Editor. See

27:12

you next time!