Listen to my episode that talks about one of my passions- discussing and educating on toxic relationships, and in time for Mother's Day- toxic mothers. 

Narcissism is a term that is way overused. There are a lot of people that deal with people that are toxic/dysfunctional, but true narcissism requires a diagnosis from a qualified professional. 

I grew up with a toxic mother, who likely has some form of narcissism, even if just exhibiting strong narcissistic traits that affected her daily life, as well as those around her. According to one article, the average age of those who realize they have a toxic relationship in their life is 44 years old, and is usually a result of a traumatic life event in order to realize it! This needs to be changed- we should be educated on this, way before this age. 

One of the classic signs of a narcissistic mother is pitting the siblings against each other. I talk about the "spider web" effect and the beginnings of the triangulation concept in abusive relationships. 

A second (informal) sign is how they operate when their teenage children are in abusive relationships- do they stick up for their child, or do they turn a blind eye to it? 

Abusive parents view love as a transaction, conditional upon the behavior of that person, whether it be a child or adult. 

I also talk about the uneducated people who only view abuse as physical. It also includes mental, psychological, and emotional abuse (to name a few), consisting of control, triangulation, and projection, just to name a few concepts. 

I talk about my family of origin and how they acted when I was a child and adult. It consists of conditional love and I discuss the tactics of isolation, as well as the concept of abusers relying on feelings as facts. I talk about the enabling partner of the abuser, as well as those termed as "Flying Monkeys". 

I also talk about the "all or nothing" concept that narcissistic individuals have- Bill Eddy describes it as "splitting". Family roles in abusive families also are discussed. 

Exploiting vulnerabilities is a part of abusers and how they choose to control you later on during the devaluation phase. Listen in to learn more! 

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